4/12/99 - Going to Bakersfield (Michaeld38); The Exhibition (Silverspell); Ultima VI, The Slippery Key (Christine Indigo); Take My Hand, My Lady (The Devil in Blue Jeans ); Domination (LdyMusyc)
4/19/99 - How the Frog Became a Frog (Kevin); Four Corners of the Round Table (Shadowloup); Unexceptional (Jimmy Hat); Cesura's Story (How I Bound Me in the Closet and Slurped a Vampire) (Averti); If you Build It... (J. Juls)
4/27/99 - In the Kitchen with Martha Stewart (Tallenvor); Family Matters - Weekend Retreat (IYD); The Headgirl from Grimsdale (Wallace Mason); Polaroids Suck (NL Soldier); Savant, Parts 1 and 2 (Deana Johns)
I am currently trying to compile a list of erotic fiction ezines--if
anyone can provide me with addresses, I'll be posting them on my
site. Or if anyone runs an erotic fiction ezine, I'll be happy to
hear from you too. Either way is fine.
These reviews are a little short today--I'm clearing out some old stuff before I look for something new.
Going to Bakersfield [A+]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 3/27/99
Author: MichaelD38
Address: MichaelD38@aol.com
This story, best described as alternate reality in the tradition of "Sliders" (or, better, Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale") depicts what might happen if the civil unrest and ethnic cleansing of the Balkans took place in America. In California, minorities are being killed and expelled by the religious-right, white rebel army, and high schools are being taken over so the blonde and blue-eyed can be separated from the black-haired and swarthy. The lucky (?) kids are given the chance to join the jihad, the boys becoming soldiers, the girls sent away to breeding camps, where they are repeatedly raped to bear more blue-eyed babies. This is the "Bakersfield" of the title. The narrator of the story takes part in a raid on a school, claims a 16-year-old to be his new tent-warmer, but lets the other kids go, leading to grave consequences for him later on.
This wasn't an easy or fun story to read, but it was very powerful in its depiction of war, bringing the dirty facts home to us by setting them in our backyard, and the writer worked out the military movements very well, especially in the terse, abbreviated dialogue. To my mind this style didn't work as well in his more romantic stories, where it seemed to act as pillow-talk-- or pillow-stuffing--filler; but here it does, probably because military men on maneuvers really do speak this way.
Most disturbing of all, however, was the suggestion that even in war white men will not give up on their fantasies: one of the reasons the narrator steals the new girl is to watch her make (forced) love with the old.
The Exhibition [B+]
Where posted: ASSGM
When posted: 3/24/99
Author: Silverspell
Address: Silverspell@hotmail.com
A gay guy discovers he's aroused by public nudity, so, to slake his desires, he decides to jack off in a video store. When he returns to rent "Die Hard" the clerk gives him, instead, a surveillance camera tape of his masturbation session and a summons to return to the store, where the clerk proceeds to humiliate him and force him to suck his cock.
This was one of those stories where I wasn't sure if it was meant to be someone's actual experience or a story, or a story framed as an actual experience; but it was unusual enough that it held my attention, and provides a novel way video store clerks can deal with troublesome customers. Die Hard, indeed. With a vengeance.
Ultima VI: The Slippery Key [A]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 3/22/99
Author: Christina Indigo
Address: christineindigo@juno.com
In this story, which is a fanfic written around the Origin Systems Video Game Ultima VI, the female adventurer Tansfora and her male companions Shamino, Dupre and Iolo explore a cave and become trapped. All attempts at using their magic fail to get them out, forcing them to rely on a mysterious door with a cryptic inscription. The door is covered with a strange moss that is "wiry, bushy, and coarse...like the hair that she'd felt between hers' and other womens' legs" which gives them the idea of the "slippery key" needed to open it. Tansfora soon winds up happily fucking all three of her companions in encounters that are humorous and idiosyncratic.
The writing in this story was very well polished, professional even; but like all fanfic, if you aren't familiar with the TV show/movie/comic/novel series/video game in question, you'd be more than a little puzzled in trying to follow it, with a lot of the plot elements slipping you by (oops, did I make a pun?) Still, the idea of "the slippery key" was a clever one, though I'd think it would tickle more to most people if it was taken out of its video- game context.
Take My Hand, My Lady [A]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 3/24/99
Author: The Devil in Blue Jeans
Address: devilnbluejean@geocities.com
Website: http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Cafe/5790/romance.html
This story was more romance than sex--there wasn't any sexual description at all--but it was an enjoyable read nonetheless. A man seeks to convince a potential lover of his ability to work magic, and in so doing the two rocket off into the sky, where they romp around clouds like a grown-up version of Peter Pan and Wendy. There's a sequel, so perhaps this was just the warm-up for a steamier tale.
Domination [A]
Where posted: SSBB
When posted: 3/24/99
Author: LdyMusyc
Address: LdyMusyc@bigfoot.com
I like a piece of BDSM stroke every once in a while, but the problem is it's either toy-heavy or abuse-heavy; this piece was one of the rare ones where the acts are both mutual and hierarchical. A nameless woman narrates how she dominates her nameless man with cuffs, collar and cockring; and she does it all, apparently, without being a professional domme, as so many of these nameless women are. An arousing, to-the-point read.
For this set of reviews it worked out, in the strange way things
often do, that each story follows a certain theme: sex with an
unusual partner, or partner(s), that is played for humor. We can
all afford to laugh a little these days.
How the Frog Became a Frog [B+]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 3/31/99
Author: Kevin
Address: kevin@nycap.rr.com
Website: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Capsule/3646/
The writer of this story must have been inspired by the Old Fractured Fairy Tales on "The Bullwinkle Show." A jester to the king narrates his fall from royal grace as he commits adultery with the Queen, and is turned into a frog for it by a rival, the Royal Witch.
Like the cartoon, this story tried very hard for that naive yet deadpan tone; some notes of real humor were struck, but overall the story could have used more refinement, like the way a long, involved joke requires dramatic pauses, gestures, and different tones of voice. The piece also had a problem with tense, moving in and out of present and past at will, and a larger one with punctuation: many commas or none at all, and sentences that went on forever. If these technical difficulties had been cleared up, this might have been a very nice A story.
In sum, mildly amusing and different.
Four Courners of the Round Table [A]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 3/30/99
Author: Shadowloup
Address: shadowloup@aol.com (Shadowloup)
This story was a better handling of the same fairy-tale theme, drawing, in this case, inspiration from the old Monty Python TV show and movies. Kink Arthur and Sir Fuckenmore are trying to subdue a bevy of luscious maidens, minions of the evil sorceress The Lady of the Fake Orgasm, by fucking them into submission (or the maidens are trying to subdue them, it was hard to tell) when they are joined by their allies Whirlwin the wizard, King Cole of Nat, King Kong of the Island, the Duke of Earl, and King Ralph. So right away we're in spoof territory, and it's made even funnier by the arcane language:
Meanwhile, Kink Arthur was fully absorbed in both his tasks and
the maidens. He was unable to hear the approaching hooves due to
the girlishly chubby thighs clenching about his ears. Nor was he
able to move his right hand, for it was busy diddling a dainty
maidenšs sweaty clit. Nor was he able to move his left hand, for it
was busy caressing the rear postern of another lovely lass.
Nor was he able to move his lower torso, as it was trapped beneath
the quivering loins of yet another wanton wench. Nor was he
able to move his legs, for two more doxies contented themselves by
placing their bubbies betwixt his twiddling toes.
Silly, lightweight, and lots of fun.
Unexceptional [A+]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 3/30/99
Author: Jimmy Hat
Address: jimmy@jimmy-hat.com
Of all the genres on ASS, interracial stories are among the hardest to read and write for the simple fact they set themselves up for accusations of racism. This isn't helped by the fact that most them *are* blatantly racist, fixated on white women who wind up being raped, subjugated, and impregnated by black men of a decidedly lower social strata. (Read "Sacrificial Lamb" by Phil Phantom or Dark Wanderer's work to see what I mean.) But on the other hand, there is a definite attraction between the races, and the sexes. Though I am white, I certainly feel lust when I look at a picture of a half-naked Lenny Kravitz or Harold Perrineau; a black man might feel the same for Jennifer Anniston or Carmen Electra. This element can make for exciting fantasy when it is handled in an intelligent, non-stereotyped, and realistic manner.
This story doesn't so much transcend stereotypes as make fun of them. Maytag and Stanton are two FBI agents who are out to catch a white racially-motivated stalker who has been responding, and attacking, people who've placed swingers' ads for black men to share in their fun and games. The agents, a man and a woman, set up shop in a motel room after placing some ads of their own designed to catch the stalker. A well-built black man mistakenly takes the bait, and he proceeds to lecture them:
"I know you just want to indulge in a fantasy here, but by
holding these views you only continue the system of bias that has
been responsible for years of oppression in this country. The
image of the well hung black man turning white women into
wanton creatures of lust only results in blacks being hung in a
much less flattering manner...I answer personal ads seeking this
myth in order to talk to people, and prove that not all black men
are over large mandingos who can't wait to have their way with a
blue-eyed blond-haired white woman. The fact is, my penis is
average in size, at best."
In a rather unbelievable plot twist the male agent dismisses
himself, leaving the woman to get it on with the crusader. They
have hot sex while the male agent catches the stalker in the
parking lot, and she later tells him: "Size isn't everything"
meaning, of course, that skill counts too.
I liked the way this story twitted the writers of the more racially upsetting fiction, while also making interracial sex pretty hot; it was like eating chocolate without having it rot your teeth. There. Don't you feel racially ennobled?
Cesura [A+]
Where posted: ASS
When posted: 4/12/99
Author: Averti
Poster: SloppyJoe
The story is more a memoir, according to the author: "The following is the sixth (!) in the summer 1991 series of sex and bondage stories about my arch-domina Toby and the people whose lives swirl around hers...This story portrays self-bondage, bisexuality (well, just lesbianism, I guess), oral sex, jackin' and jillin', and a guest whom I hope you will find as we found her to be; neither better nor worse, but definitely different."
The actual name of the piece is "How I Bound Me in the Closet and Slurped a Vampire" and it was one of about 100 different stories posted by the same poster, SloppyJoe (sorry, I didn't get the address) on ASS in alphabetical order. Usually I get annoyed when posters do that, as it's next to impossible to judge a story's subject matter or quality by the name the text file has in the posting's subject line ("cesura.txt" was the only title this piece had); you have to actually download the story to see what it is, and it could be a turkey. But this piece wasn't, and I was glad I downloaded it.
In true BDSM fashion the narrator ties, or belts rather, himself up in the closet for autoerotic pleasure, and when his two bi female buddies come back he meets their friend, a beautiful Texas albino woman who dresses like a goth. The four get together for some refreshingly friendly, good-natured play--play that seems to have been drawn from actual experience, by its detail--quite unlike the strict, overwrought Master-slave stuff I usually see. The narrator is particularly taken with Cesura, the albino:
She was tall, almost as tall as Toby, with long, slender arms and
legs that probably looked more fragile that they were due to her
white, translucent skin. Her breasts were small and high, widely
separated on her chest, with large oval nipples of the palest
pinkish hue. I could see a delicate tracery of bluish veins under
the skin of her breasts and in other places where the skin was
soft or thin. This was not off-putting; in fact, it made Cesura
resemble some fantasy demonness from a Russian fairy tale. Her
body was nearly hairless except for a silky patch of pure white
down above her sex. As with white-skinned blondes I have
known, her pussy, at rest, was "reticent" like that of a child; no
labia visibly protruding, just a smooth seam in the flesh,
surrounded by two guardian strips of flesh and muscle.
There's more, and it was pretty hot, and pretty humorous, told in
the tone of a good friend relating all of this to you so you could
get hot, too.
In sum, recommended; and a good reason for checking out unpromising-looking postings. I only wish this author's work was archived more widely. Readers? Has anyone heard of this guy?
If You Build It, They Will Come [A]
Where posted: ASCEM
When posted: 4/12/99
Author: J. Juls
Address: J. Juls jjuls@interaccess.com
We round off this series of unusual sex partners with this piece of Treksmut in which a woman has sex with a childlike android. Take note of the double-entendre in the title.
If you're familiar with the Star Trek universe, this story concerns Dr. Noonien Singh, the creator of the androids Data and Lore, and his wife Juliana; if you're not, don't worry; the story speaks for itself. Anyway, Dr. Singh has been spending too much time in his lab, leaving wife Juliana feeling neglected; her annoyance becomes outrage when she notices what he has been spending his time on: programming sexual responses into Andy, his latest android creation. Julianna decides to take advantage of it, having sex with the innocent man-child robot.
But little does she know she created a monster, or introduced a snake into the Eden-like conditions of Andy's innocent mind. When the good Doctor surprises the pair, Andy smirks, "Hey, old man, what's wrong? Haven't you ever seen two people fuck before? Don't worry, I didn't damage her any. I was just warmin' her up for ya...You should really spend a little more time with the horny minx. She wants it bad, old man." There's a plot twist at the end I won't reveal, but it fits brilliantly into Star Trek canon.
My only complaint with this story was that plot twist, which was violent and somber compared to what came earlier. A more skilled writer could have pulled off the appropriate tone, but perhaps that is asking too much from amateur netfic.
The first story of these reviews is celebrity. The other four follow
a theme: teenagers and BDSM.
In the Kitchen with Martha Stewart, Part 2 [B+/B]
Where posted: ASS
When posted: 4/21/99
Author: Tallenvor
Address: tallenvor@my-dejanews.com
Celebrity sex stories on ASS, I've found, are problematic; it's difficult to write a real-life personality in a way comes across as authentically them and not a blow-up fuck doll with a famous face. The problem is compounded because most of the attractive young men and women who are the subjects of these stories *are* blow-up fuck dolls with famous faces; there's little real personality to them anyway. The realm of spoof, however, offers more possibilities.
In this story, which is part 2 of a longer series, the narrator jerks off to the Martha Stewart Living TV show after a previous encounter with the hostess:
He then phones Martha and she turns into a bit of a domina,
telling him to munch on her pantyhose, then wear it himself.
After that he high-tails it down to the studio where they have sex:
She smiled at me and looked down at herself, noticing a large
drop of cum on the lapel of her blue shirt. She blotted it up with
the cloth but the stain that remained was clear. "Well, I have a
show to go do. I'll see you afterwords."
"Martha," I objected, "Your shirt."
"What America doesn't know won't hurt it," she replied.
Martha was working on a pie crust, nothing out of the ordinary,
but seeing her act so wholesome, so respectful was somehow
intensely erotic...the image of her like this, the perfect
homemaker played against my mind with the images from earlier
that day. I found myself lost in thoughts of Martha, thoughts of
kissing her, feeling her, tasting her...I quickly found myself left
with a rapidly rising erection. I watched as she rolled out the
dough for the top of the pie, I found myself transfixed on her
hand encircling the dough. I quickly unzipped my pants and
slipped them off, my boxers quickly following.
Not a great story, or a well-written story, but very funny in a way
I don't think the author intended.
Family Matters - Weekend Retreat [C]
Where posted: ASS
When posted: 4/21/99
Author: IYD
Posted by: TV Fantasy Admin
Poster address: webmaster@tvfantasy.com
Poster website: http://www.tvfantasy.com
I guess this story was supposed to be based on a TV show, because that's the archive it came from. Steve--whoever he is--offers to take teenager Laura Winslow to a cheerleading contest. He's orchestrated the whole thing by renting two cabins, one of which he offers to her parents to get them out of the way, the other of which he equips with camcorder, sex toys, and pheromone inhalers; the whole hard-to-swallow setup is breezily explained away as "Being a genius comes in handy sometimes." As a bonus, Laura's friend Maxine and Steve's own girlfriend Myra come along too, leading Mr. Bright Guy to think, "If he was going to kidnap and rape two women it might as well be three."
This was the beginning of a very dumb story involving rape, forced F/F sex, and BDSM; how much it turns it you on, I guess, will be due to how familiar you are with the sitcom; if you aren't, it will probably bore you, because the whole idea is routine and the characters nothing special.
The Headgirl from Grimsdale [A-]
Where posted: ASS
When posted: 4/21/99
Author: Wallace Mason
Address: tokoloshe@nospamtokoloshe.demon.co.uk
In the second of the teen BDSM stories a pair of British headmasters get their hands on a schoolgirl in need of punishment. The story is part of a series dealing with this theme: young girls with torpedo tits, bouncing buttocks, and smart navy blue uniforms wind up being continuously spanked, caned, and nipple-clamped by their leering, elderly teachers. And they don't like it.
There wasn't much of a plot to this...only the spanking...but it was vividly written and delivered the goods, if you like schoolgirl spanking stories on the brutal side.
Polaroids Suck [B]
Where posted: ASS
When posted: 4/22/99
Author: NL Soldier
Address: nlsoldier@specialops.soldier.net
A teenage boy on vacation with his family engages in a feud with his beautiful but bitchy 17-year-old cousin. She snaps a photo of him masturbating and blackmails him with it, leading him to exact a revenge: he waits for her to come home that night, then handcuffs her and ties her to bed for you-know-what. In a twist on such stories, it turns out she's turned on by this treatment, having harbored a secret yen for him all along:
"You can get some from the source anytime."
"Is that a promise?"
"No it's a demand."
"I didn't know you would be so sweet, promise you'll share
sometimes." I said licking up some of her juices from off her lips
and from around her mouth.
If this was a story set in the Real World, it would be very un-PC:
victimized female really enjoys being raped. But it isn't, and by
the standards of sex stories, it's more PC than tales where the
female is raped and hates it, because the sexual enjoyment is
mutual.
The writing on this could have used work: "The night before I had, had a very erotic dream. You see for the last few weeks I have been into reading erotic stories; they have been causing me to produce some very vivid and highly erotic dreams." But on the whole it was a nice debut from the author, not too bad, not too great, with brisk energy about it.
Savant, Parts 1 and 2 [B+]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
Author: Deana Johns
Address: deanajohns@hotmail.com
Archived at: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year99/19618.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year99/19619.txt
The author pointed me in the direction of this with a request I review it. It's one of the longest stories I've ever seen on ASS -- approximately 500,000 words, and the author tells me she's still working on it. Because of time constraints, I could only read Parts 1 and 2.
Whenever an ASS writer goes over 50,000 or so words, their stories cease to be stories and become worlds, because they're so invested in them; and because many of these writers are motivated only by self-expression (with or without a sexual component) and are not concerned about being judged as novelists, the evaluation of their efforts becomes problematic. The stories can't be judged on face value--there *is* no face value--because they're not really stories at all. They're worldviews. That's one reason I find netfic more engaging than published fiction, where raw expression is often sublimated in favor of a polished technique. On the other hand, if you find the author's worldview strange, illogical, confusing, boring, or annoying, you can't really enjoy the piece because there's no conventional plot and three-dimensional characters to fill in the gap, and the detail begins to smother you. That was the problem I had with this story.
Anyway, to the story. Denise Alvey is a new teacher at a high school for girls who must teach PE classes for a year or so before she gets a science class, which is what she really wants. (She is the "Savant" of the title.) We soon find out what she is made of when she rigs up a computer system in the locker room to take periodic shots of the nubile 14-year- olds dressing and undressing, which she masturbates to at home. All this unethical conduct doesn't raise an eyebrow from staff or students. If you can cheerfully swallow this, you can swallow two of the young girls having a sophisticated D/s relationship with each other (complete with dildoes, ropes, and tattooing) and the shell-shocked Vietnam Vet, brother to the dominant one, who has taught her the ways of master and slave from the tender age of 12. Assuming he was 18 when shipped out in the last days of the war, and his sister is 14 in 1997...that makes the difference between them 35 years. But realism isn't exactly the selling point of a story like this.
There was a lot going on in these 77,000 words, but events moved with the glacial, leisurely pace of an afternoon soap, with long loving interludes of hot D/s sex, both lesbian and straight, that included water sports and incest; later there's romance between Denise and another PE teacher who's been fucking the (female) principal, and Denise's rescue of Cindy the teen sub from her abusive dom Andrea, with a lot of talk and philosophizing about the master-slave relationship, what D/s means, and the nature of love. In this it was similar to a lot of the Treksmut I've seen, particularly those multi-part sagas where one crewmember schemes to top another...relationship porn, in other words. The story also reminded me of Mathis B. Roger's work in its openly gay bias and detailed cataloging of everyday life, and Eileen Stone's "Darkside America" tales for its take on the links between incest, power, and D/s. There's a touch of Ann Douglas thrown in as well, though Ann's approach is more realistic.
But...for all the length and detail, for all the sheer time and energy invested, this isn't a well-structured, well- written, or well-characterized novel. It's amateur netporn, and there's plenty to pick at. But I don't think the author intended to write a novel...she was merely enjoying herself.
In sum: A series of stroke stories about the same characters that includes traditional lesbian scenarios (especially that girls' school); a gothic preoccupation with sexual submission; and anything goes melodrama. Recommended if you like this sort of thing...definitely worth a look for the D/s scenes.