7/30/98 The Tattoo Artists' Electric Razor (John E. Smith); Tommy (Kristen); Spaceport Pickup (Felix Lance Falkon); At My Lady's Whim (Lsaspt); Magdalene (Trinity); Fire on Ice (Paul)
Lady Cyrrh is back.
Yes, I am back. The reason for my three month vacation is simple. Two words. Carpal Tunnel. I am now lifting weights to tone and strengthen my arms, shoulders, and wrists, and it seems to be working. But I can't sit in front of the computer for extended periods of time the way I used to, so these reviews will only be coming out about three times a month now.
Anyway it was a nice vacation.
I will continue these reviews the same as I have before...a little bit of everything from the eight or so newsgroups I peruse. I may be grading them more strictly. Reading $24.95 published fiction does that to you.
If anyone had anything they simply HAVE to have me review, post it to the newsgroup and call my attention to it.
That's all. I think.
The Tattoo Artists' Erotic Razor [A]
Where posted: ASSGM
When posted: 7/27/98
Author: John E. Smith
Address: honjohn@gate.net
Tattoos, shaving and large, well-hung men come together in this story, told in first person by the lover of the tattoo artist in question. The tattooist has every inch of skin covered by his art, even the soles of feet and his cock and foreskin (imaginatively tattooed with two fishes so one appears to be swallowing the other) and the visual descriptions alone were worth the read. However, he also has another fetish: he likes to shave and be shaved, so the second half of the story concerns the narrator's denuding and the sex they then share. Very hot, if you like shaving and tattoos on big muscles.
The only quibble I have is the shavee griping he's going to have to wear a wig and pencil in his eyebrows so he can go back to his legal assistants' job. Huh? Does he think people aren't going to notice? Makes more sense for him to time it with a two-week vacation.
Tommy
[A-]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 7/26/98
Author: Kristen Becker
Address: kristen78@aol.com
I haven't kept up with SF sitcom "Third Rock from the Sun" as much as I've wanted, but I know this season Sally, the alien warrior who has taken the form of a beautiful blonde woman, gets pregnant by her policeman boyfriend. That makes this story a little out of date, as the cop isn't even mentioned. But it mostly concerns little Tommy anyway. He's the aliens' intelligence officer and wears the body of a freshly post-pubescent boy. First he tries to get some pussy off his virginal girlfriend August, then returns home where Sally, having become tired of Harry and Dick (who wouldn't, I say) makes predatory advances toward him.
Although billed as incest it really isn't, as the "family" in question is a group of unrelated alien investigators. As a teen story it was pretty fun, with a cute description of Tommy being coldcocked: "He soon lost his erection, while his softening penis dripped several teaspoons of pre-cum all over the inside of his jeans, dripping down one leg. He was miserable." Says it all about teenage frustration.
Spaceport Pickup [A]
Where posted: ASSGM
When posted: 7/6/98
Author: Felix Lance Falkon
Address: owlswick@netaxs.com
In this short story two spacemen visiting a strange planet try to pick up a hot stud for some sex. While sitting in the park, they shoot the bull about the peculiar pickup customs of other planets they have visited. Apparently on their world they have their cake and eat it too, as wives wholeheartedly condone their husbands tricking out on the side, as long as they get to meet the tricks. It's the ultimate closet.
Fun and imaginative if you like gay erotica on the light side.
At My Lady's Whim - A Performance for Mistress Lisa [C-]
Where posted: ASS, ASSM
When posted: 7/27/98
Author: Lsaspt
Address: lsaspt@aol.com
Oh Boy! I knew I was in for a treat with this story when I read the first sentence: "I am Mistress Lisa's pathetic, pussywhipped slut and I live only to give her pleasure." I actually started to salivate. Does anyone in the real world really talk or think like this? I'd think the slut in question would say "Mistress Lisa pussywhips the shit outta me" if he (yes it's a guy) was speaking in colloquial English to an audience of his peers.
That laugh-a-minute intro aside, the story is about the male slut's outing at the beach, where Mistress recruits two jiggly thong- butted cuties for some steamy, yet ultimately humiliating, sex with him. Exactly why the two volunteer for the mission is never explained. Mistress then supervises the action and bellows things like: "Look at that, she can't get you in deep enough, you pathetic worm. No wonder she won't cum. Well, I know it won't be long before you give her your sick sperm you fuck." Later they go back to Mistress's pad and hang out in the bathroom, where the trio pee and poo on each other's faces. Again, it's never adequately explained why the two beach bunnies participate.
There's good D/S and there's bad D/S, and this is pretty bad, if only for the reason that bad fiction does not suspends your sense of disbelief; i.e. that these imaginary things could actually happen to real people. It's like watching Madonna act compared to Meryl Streep.
Magdalene [A+]
NOTE: The author has requested this story not be archived.
Where posted: SSBB
When posted: 7/5/98
Author: Trinity
Address: Trinity@bellsouth.net
This was a very well-written BDSM story, a nice surprise as I've grown so used to tripe this past year. Yes, one of the things I definitely *did not* miss during my three-month recuperation/vacation was sifting through variations of "Mistress and her slut," as exemplified by the previous story. In fact, I don't even know why I reviewed the previous story. I'm a glutton for punishment, I guess. (There's a metaphorical twist in there somewhere.)
In this story, the narrator flies to another city to hang out with friends and meet an elusive dom she knows for a private scene. Despite a beginning that starts off like a Starbuck's commercial (traipsing through a major metropolis in the rain drinking hot chocolates and devouring cinnamon twists) then an MTV promo pop (jaded scenesters on a leather couch inhaling cigarette smoke) the story gets into gear when the two get together at a club, where he indulges her in her fantasy of the moment: 500 clothespins. Ouch. Along the way there's ruminations on Mary Magdalene and the Virgin Mary and the peculiar brand of unrequited love these last-nameless doms inspire in their subs.
I would not want to be pinched with 500 clothespins, or carry a torch for a remote dom who forgets all about me when I'm not around. But this story did a good job of depicting the feelings of a woman who would.
Fire on Ice [A]
Where posted: ASSGM
When posted: 7/27/98
Author: Paul
Address: gideonvi@aol.com
Website: http://www.fortunecity.com/westwood/lagerfeld/248
Tyler is a teenage boy with a problem. He's gay, has a crush on a straight student, and a gay younger friend who has a crush on him. Life is complicated.
The three hang out and play video games, and eventually come together on a hill outside of town, where they share a playful group grope. This story was more about emotions than sex, and I enjoyed it, even if the narrator talked and thought a little too old for his age (14.) But that's the point of stories like this: to go back and relive your adolescence and paint it the way you wish it could have been.