Vietnam!
After thirty days leave, I was sitting in the airport in Anchorage, Alaska.
It was cold outside and my destination was Vietnam. I was wondering
what it was going to be like. Probably nothing like all the stories
I had heard. They were calling for us to board, and I heard we were
going to stop in Hawaii on the way there. We did but I never left the
airport. I did walk around for a couple of hours and it was beautiful
and warm. I told myself that if I ever get the chance to move here
I would. Just that short time stayed with me, and I never forgot it.
We were on the last leg of the flight and the next stop was Vietnam.
I would dose off for a while and awaken with thoughts of what I was leaving
behind. The faces of all, who meant anything to me, continued flashing
in my mind. I knew I would never see them again. I thrashed in
my mind all of the possible ways I could get killed. I finally gave
up. The hell with it let it happen.
“I love you mom,” I thought. I felt lonely and a little pain in my
heart thinking about Sue. I believe she may have helped me to get over
the pain I suffered from Christi. The way I’m thinking now, I knew
I did the right thing by leaving her. “I love you Sue, have a great
life, I hope you get everything out of life you want. Christi, you
caught me with my guard down, Thank you. You taught me a valuable lesson.
Never let your guard down when it comes to love. I love you,
but I hate you. Have a good life and have a bad life. I don’t
care anymore, what ever happens to you.
This is a long flight, almost as bad as driving home from Kentucky or Alabama.
Those were some miserable trips. The ride back to Fort Campbell after
Christi dumped me. The ride to and from Memphis to dad’s funeral was
miserable. The ride to Fort Campbell in the back of a van, handcuffed.
The ride back and forth to Memphis trying to figure out how to tell Sue I’m
going to Vietnam.
My brother Barry is there, I hope I can locate him when I get there.
I hope none of my other brothers will have to come here. I wonder where
they will assign me. I don’t give a dam, put me anywhere.
The plane landed in Bin-Hoe just before noon. The heat and humidity
hit my body just as I got off the plane. The temperature was 90 degrees
and the humidity felt the same. I was feeling good. I had slept
most of the way. They transported me to a small camp where I would
stay for no more than a week. They put all the new guys there until
they cut orders to where each was assigned. The first couple of days
I spent hanging around the hooch (barracks) doing nothing.
I didn’t know how to get in touch with Barry. He had been there for
most of a year and I tried to call him. I did get in touch with people
in his company but he was always out. After the third try that week,
I gave up on talking to him.
During that week, different companies would come through trying to recruit
men. One particular group the 175th Rangers were here recruiting.
It sounded exciting and dangerous to me so I went for an interview.
They explained they were looking to recruit men for what they called killer
teams. They said, three man teams dropped in the jungle at designated
spots. Their mission was to kill as many Viet Cong as they could and
do recon. This sounded like what I wanted to do. They would have
taken me in but there was a problem. I was trained in aviation and
with my MOS, they wouldn’t take me. I was pissed, but there nothing
I could do. I ended up assigned to the 338th Assault Support Helicopter
Battalion (338th ASHB). I would be working on Chinook Helicopters.
Finally assigned!
Two days later, I was in Bearclaw. It was about seventy miles south
of Long-Bin. My first day there was unusual, I ended up in a hooch
with a bunch of men that didn’t do anything all day except lie around and
smoke pot. I had never smoked it before, but they asked me to try some.
A little while later I knew what it meant to be high. One of the officers
came to take me to the flight line to assign me a job. I tried to act
straight and I never knew if he suspected me.
We reached the flight line in just a couple of minutes. It was only
about a quarter of a mile. Everyone walked it instead of riding every
morning. They offered me two jobs, I could work on choppers or they
needed someone to do administrative work doing flight plans and things like
that. They were short on crewmembers so I took that job and the Line
Commander assigned me as a crew chief on one of the choppers.
There were five men assigned to each chopper, two pilots, a door gunner,
crew chief and the Flight engineer who was responsible for all maintenance
done on the chopper. The next day they woke me at four thirty in the
morning. There were long days and nights ahead of me for the next year.
I would be working seven days a week, twelve to sixteen hours a day, but
I would get use to it.
A routine day was getting up at four thirty, eating breakfast and being at
the flight line at six. I would meet the FE and we would do any pre-maintenance
that needed to be done before the pilots arrived. Once the pilots got
there, usually about six thirty, we would be ready to take off. The
pilots would do their inspections and pre-flight checks before that days
work. Normally, we would take off anytime between seven and eight,
then fly to different locations.
We would pick up troops, supplies, and anything that the infantry might need
in the different LZ’s (Landing Zones) in the jungle. Sometimes we would
pick up troops that had been in the boonies for weeks at a time. The
stench of their body odor would stay with you for a long time since they
couldn’t take a bath or shower. Sometimes the smell was sickening.
Many times, we would transport Army Republic of Vietnam soldiers or ARVIN’S
to different LZ's. They would carry their wife, children and most everything
they owned like pigs and chickens with them. One of the things I didn’t
like doing was flying dead soldiers from out in the field back to the hospital
morgue. I always felt sorry for them and their families.
I had heard of a couple of men shot in our company the past year while flying.
The Vietcong, with their AK-47’S were notorious for catching choppers coming
into or leaving an LZ and shooting up into them. Everyone wore flak
jackets but it only covered your stomach and back. They told me one
was hit in the leg and the other person took one in the chin at his neck.
They both survived and shipped home but that made me realized that at any
time it could happen, but that was fine with me.
When you flew from one point to another point carrying whatever cargo, we
called it a sortie. On a normal day, we would fly from twenty to forty
sorties depending on the distance. I remained a crew chief for about
two months and I loved flying and working on helicopters.
Promoted to Flight-Engineer!
The CO offered to move me up in the Flight Engineer spot on another chopper
so I took it. It didn’t take me long to realize the load that would
be on my shoulders. Now I was responsible for the safety of four other
men and a multi-million dollar helicopter at the age of nineteen. I
learned quick and accepted the responsibility. The positive aspect
was I loved working on Chinooks. It was easy for me to identify with
the mechanics of them. I always had the ability to understand mechanical
equipment and to be able to trouble shoot problems.
As soon as I took over my own ship, I became close friends with a couple
of pilots. One, I really liked was Lieutenant David Petry because he
would let me sit in the co-pilot seat and get stick time. I nicknamed
him Jo-Petry and I always loved to fly with him. One of his tricks
and my favorite was he would pick a winding dirt road in the jungle, low
level about fifty foot off the ground, and hug the turns back and forth.
It would turn your stomach sometimes but it was fun and helped with the boredom
of the same routines we had to do some weeks. I knew we were taking
chances but that was the fun of it.
The chopper had a four by four square hole in the center of the floor with
a bar across the center of it and an electric hook on the bar. The
pilot would push a button, the hook opened up and any load on the hook released.
I would lay on my flak jacket with my head over the hole. While picking
up a load, we never touched the ground. The pilot would approach a
load. A man on the ground, which we called red-hats, because they wore
red hats, would be waiting to hook the loads as the pilot hovered above.
My job at this point in the flight was to instruct the pilot of the distance
the chopper was to the load since he couldn’t see once he was over it.
Looking down the hole, I would say to him. “The load is in sight, come
forward twenty, fifteen, ten, five, four, three, two, one hold. Come
left or right five, four, three, two one hold.” The red hat would hook
the load and I would say to the pilot. “Loads hooked up, come straight
up.” Once the load was off the ground, I would say. “Loads clear,
you’re free to go.”
One particular day we were picking up a ten by ten gondola in a net.
The Red Hat was standing on the load waiting to hook it up. He must
have been new because whenever we would hover over him he would jump off
the load. I guess he was scared of a thirty thousand-pound helicopter
hovering inches above his head. We attempted three or four times allowing
him to get back up on the load and try again. We would try to hover
no more than five or six feet above the load to allow him to stand on the
load, reach up and hook it.
Finally, after being frustrated with him. I instructed the pilot to
come down five, four, three, two, one the red hat jumped. The chopper
slammed on top of the gondola. I was laughing so hard, I told the pilot
what I had done and we laughed about it. Then he told me to go down
and hook the load. I crawled through the hole and jumped onto the load,
all the time instructing him on the distance. I hooked the load crawled
back in and we left. We laughed about it every so often.
My first Encounter!
Sometimes we would get a warning if an LZ were under fire. We called
it a Hot LZ. If we were flying a sortie to it, we weren’t required
to enter. Most of the time, we would wait until the incoming Mortars
or firing stopped. Warrant officer Hooker my other friend who I nick
named “Hook” happened to be one of my pilots on a day we were carrying a
sortie of ammunition and food to a hot LZ. We got word that they had
been fighting for three days; there were three wounded and seven bodies that
needed evacuated. I was surprised when Hook said.
“Chief, it’s your chopper. Do you want to take a chance on going in?”
“Let’s go for it!” I answered. We went in, dropped off our load.
After we had sat down to pick up wounded, two mortar rounds exploded within
thirty yards and several at a distance. I already had my ramp down
and loading the seven bodies when the pilot yelled over the headset.
“Chief, get in I’m pulling out!
“One minute sir, I’ve got two more bodies and another wounded!” I replied.
“Now chief now! He shouted over the headset because another mortar exploded close to us.
“Just one second, sir! I replied again, with my Adrenalin flowing.
The excitement of action was in a way a great feeling.
I got the last one on and said. “Go sir! We got them all!”
He lifted off and headed to the Medi-Vac hospital. After landing and
removing the bodies and wounded, I was inspecting my chopper to see if we
took any rounds or shrapnel. We had not taken any but Hook was pissed.
He came over to where I was.
“Chief, You Son of a Bitch! The next time I say we are lifting off, I’m not waiting for you.”
“Hook! You know you wouldn’t leave me on the ground,” I said, smiling at him.
“Don’t call me Hook while I’m pissed!” he said acting as though he was.
“You asked me about going in, remember? I asked continuing to smile.
“Sure I remember but I didn’t know you were going to drag your ass.”
“Sir, everything worked out. My sweetheart didn’t get hurt! I
said, patting my chopper and leaning over to kiss it. “You’re not hurt
are you sweetheart? I joked looking at it as though it were my lover.
“Lamour, you’re crazy as hell!” he said walking away shaking his head.
Seven days later, everyone on my chopper received The Army Commendation,
for valor. I smiled at Hook. He smiled back and shook his head.
The five of us on that flight would mention it from time to time.
Forget Her!
A few days later, I was sitting alone in the club during the evening drinking
a beer. For some reason Sue was on my mind. I couldn’t shake
my thoughts of her. I walked to the hooch and borrowed two sheets of
paper and an envelope from Fred. He was curious as to whom I was writing
because he knew I had not written anyone since I had been there. I
wouldn’t tell him and he didn’t press me for an answer. I sat at his
little makeshift desk he had built for himself to write his wife, which he
wrote almost every night.
He left to shower and I was sitting alone to write. I took her picture
out of my billfold, stared at it a few minutes, and laid it on the desk.
I thought a few minutes of what to write before I ever picked up the pencil.
Glancing at her picture again I thought how beautiful she is. I wondered
if she would wait for me as she had said. I knew what I had done to
her was almost inhumane. My own experience had taught me that only
weeks, possibly days of separation could change a persons heart. I
knew that oh so well.
I knew in my heart that she loved me with all of hers but could that love
stand the test of time. Knowing I was coming over here, she still wanted
to marry me. That in it self says something given that David had died
here. She deserves a letter from me but what do I write. What
could I say that could ease her pain when the fact remains that I was certain
I wasn’t going to return. There wasn’t anything specific I could think
of so I picked up the pencil and began writing whatever came to mind.
To the most loving person I know. No, that is so stupid! I wadded the paper.
To Sue my love. No, that sends the wrong message! I wadded that sheet also.
Sue,
How are you? I’m certain this letter is unexpected but you were on
my mind tonight. I wanted to say a few things that hate might not fill
your heart as it has mine. I know your heart and I know you deserve
only the best in life. You are the most wonderful thing that ever happened
to me but I was and am blinded by events that control my thoughts, but not
my heart. In hindsight, it now breaks my heart to know that I have
broken yours. I had never felt loved as when I was with you but the
world I live in now has my heart trapped with no exits. At this moment
in my life, there is no room to share that love. When you find another
heart to share your love, I hope it to be deserving of you. However,
please remember, there was once a love for you that knew only the joy and
beauty of life. You deserved more than I could give. My wish
is that the sadness will fade away and you will only know love and joy throughout
your life.
Good-bye My Love
This doesn’t make sense! I have no business writing her anything!
I laid the pencil down, picked her picture up and stared at it. You
are so sweet. You probably would be hurt again just by reading a letter
from me. I laid her picture down again and picked the pencil up thumping
it on the desk while I thought if I should write. Without thinking
further, I wadded the letter up and threw it in the trash. I love you
but I don’t deserve you. Forgive me. I got up from the desk and
returned to the bar drinking several more beers. In the future, I would
block out all thoughts of her.
A reality of war!
Sometimes I would get bored with the same routine while flying and tell my
door gunner to move and let me sit at his window. On one extremely
hot afternoon I had gotten tired of looking at the inside walls of my helicopter.
Seeing the same image each day had burned itself in my mind many times over
while flying. Walls covered with endless lengths of hydraulic lines
and electrical wire harnesses. The continuous screaming sounds of Engines
and transmissions above my head penetrating my helmet also added to my extreme
boredom.
I was sitting at the left gunners window and looking over the land.
I was amazed at the devastation. As far as the eye could see, there
were ponds everywhere, perfectly round in form. Thousands of them just
yards from one another. This country should be named “The Land of a
Million Ponds”, because of all the craters made from bombs. During
the monsoons, every crater would fill with rainwater. The dry season
took on another form. In some areas, it reminded me of the moon, void
of water and vegetation.
I thought of a week ago when I looked out this same window while in another
Province and saw thousands of acres of bare rain forest destroyed.
The army sprayed the forest to kill all foliage to keep the Vietcong from
having places to hide. I new it was necessary in some areas but the
effect it had on anyone’s mind viewing it was the same.
I saw few areas untouched by war as I flew missions each day. The greatest
devastation to this country was to the people. It was a common familiarity
to see young children maimed from fire and explosions. Limbs missing,
a scar of burns covering portions of their bodies. If asked how many
brothers and sisters some of them have the answer most likely will be three
to seven. However, most of them missing, dead or are in the army and
not heard from in months or even years.
Many children are born of American fathers, considered outcast and shunned
by villages to fend for themselves. The term most often used for these
is half-breeds. Everywhere you turn, they are present, begging for
money or food to feed themselves. It may be hard for some to understand
but it didn’t take long to turn cold toward them.
I think we as Americans, if asked to speak the truth, look down on the Vietnamese
people. The fact is they don’t seem to view this war as we do.
In simplicity, they are living each day to survive another one. We
on the other had are offended because we are defending their country when
it seems they have no appreciation of this. When we see or hear of
American casualties it compounds those feelings.
Speaking for myself and many other soldiers, I think we as a whole are in
total disrespect of them as a people or for their traditions and consider
them sometimes, less than human. War instills strange thoughts in the
mind of young men placed in battle. No wonder they rotate men during
war. We are succumbed by constant devastation with no hope of finality.
We think of ourselves as men by nature and by having served in battle but
we return to our homes and families with our minds permeated with images
branded in them of all we have seen, having lost our innocence.
My Second Encounter!
Weeks later we had been flying sorties for several hours on a hot but clear
day. Several times prior, I had asked Captain Lewis when I had flown
with him if I could get some stick time but he always refused. I sensed
then it may have been something personal but I thought I would try again.
He always seemed like a stuck-up asshole. Some of the other FE’s mentioned
in the past that they didn’t like flying with him either.
“Captain, how about a little stick time,” I said, over the headset.
“Not today chief!” he replied sarcastically. My crewchief and door
gunner were looking back at me as I stuck my finger up shooting him the bird.
They were laughing and shaking their heads. I knew that would be his
answer but I had to ask. I knew he didn’t feel I deserved to fly because
I wasn’t a pilot. That was fine with me because other pilots would
let me in the cockpit.
We had landed for lunch outside of an LZ. I had not eaten breakfast
and for some reason I didn’t eat lunch. Afterwards, we lifted off and
had been flying sorties for an hour when we lost hydraulics in flight.
Captain Lewis and Warrant Officer Walden sat us down in the middle of a clearing
about seventy-five yards from a tree line where the jungle began. Captain
Lewis called in our co-ordinance and asks for a parts run, putting in an
order for a hydraulic pump and gunship support.
Everyone seemed nervous about the location where we had landed. The
pilots and I carried 38 caliber Pistols. There were two 60-caliber
machine guns mounted on either side of the chopper in window openings in
which the crew chief and the door gunner operated. The Crewchief and
gunner also had M-16 rifles. That gave some security but wouldn’t help
in a mortar attack.
Suddenly all hell broke loose with automatic gunfire. I had already
begun removing the defective pump at the rear of the ship as I looked forward
and saw Delk, my crewchief returning fire. I ran forward to the hole
to retrieve my flak jacket that was lying on the floor. The pilots
had gotten from their seats and moved between the bulletproof walls of the
electrical compartment. I glanced out of one of the windows and noticed
the grass standing about four feet high, thinking it would give us good cover.
“Sir, get out and take cover in the grass!” I yelled pointing down the hole.
The fuel tanks were bullet proof but I wasn’t sure they could take a mortar
hit. Shipley, my door gunner was on the floor. His 60-caliber
was on the opposite side of the gunfire and wasn’t much use. “Delk,
bring your 60 and let’s get out the hole! Delk, get your 60 down the
hole!” I yelled Twice. As he was trying to dismount it, a round
hit him in the shoulder that knocked him to the floor. The pilots had
crawled out with Shipley following behind. I ran up to the front of
the chopper grabbing Delk and yelling to Shipley. “Get Delk out, I’m
going to get the M-60’s. He grabbed Delk’s flight suit at the collar
and drug him to the hole, exiting. I pulled the pin on the mount holding
the M-60 in the cradle and crawled to the hole, handing it to Captain Lewis
as he was looking up at me.
“Leave the other one! Let’s get the hell out of here!” He shouted.
“Hell no, we might need it! I yelled back and ran forward with rounds
putting holes in the walls of the chopper from the automatic gunfire.
I lunged on the floor and crawled to the other M-60 reaching up and pulling
the pin out of the mount. I stood up to remove it out of the cradle
and an AK-47 round creased my neck causing a gash. “Shit! Mother
Fucker!” I yelled grabbing my neck.
“Get the fuck out Chief!” the Captain yelled with his head protruding from
the hole. I dismounted it and laid it on the floor grabbing two ammo
boxes and sliding them across the floor to the hole as he took them and dropped
to the ground. I grabbed the barrel of the M-60 and crawled to the
hole. As I lowered it to him, the blood from my neck was dripping onto
his face.
“Damn Chief, are you hit?”
“Fuck yes, the Son of a Bitches!” I shouted.
“The others are about twenty yards over there. Let’s go!” he said pointing
behind the rear of the chopper. We crawled following the imprint the
others had made in the tall grass until we reached them. The gunfire
continued relentlessly.
“Where is our Fucking Support?” Walden shouted.
“We’re in deep shit. They don’t know we’re taking fire.” Captain Lewis said.
“We need to return fire so they won’t attack us,” I yelled.
“Shipley, take your M-60 over by the ramp and draw their fire away from Delk!
We have to get his bleeding stopped. Chief how is your wound?” the
Captain asked.
“I’m okay,” I said. I tore part of my T-Shirt and tied it around my neck, containing the bleeding.
Shipley had begun returning fire every so often not wanting to use up all
the ammo at once. Charlie continued spraying the area with gunfire.
“They don’t have mortars or they would have used them. It must be a recon patrol,” I stated.
“Sounds like there are ten or fifteen of them from the fire.” Walden shouted.
“Fuck! I’m hit! I’m hit in the knee! Shipley yelled.
“Walden, go help him and take over on the sixty.” The Captain said
pulling at his arm. Walden crawled over to Shipley and tied his knee
to slow the bleeding. I grabbed one of the M-16’s and a belt of clips.
“Fuck this shit. I’m not sitting on my ass!” I said, crawling away from them.
“Chief, where the fuck you going! Get your ass back here!” The Captain yelled.
“Fuck this shit!” I shouted and continued crawling.
“You Son of a Bitch, get back here!” he yelled.
I laughed to myself, thinking he may have thought I was running. I
ignored him and continued crawling. I hope there isn’t twenty of them
Mother Fuckers! I thought to myself. I crawled as fast as I could
in a semicircle toward the tree line stopping long enough to remove my flack
jacket that was weighing me down. As I reached the edge, I moved toward
the gunfire listening to determine how close I was to them. I raised
my head every so often to see if I could spot them trying not to be seen
myself. When I thought I was close, I moved to an old tree lying in
front of me. I peeked around a limb sticking out one side of it.
You stupid Mother Fuckers! I thought. They were standing up to
look over the grass to get a better view of us, holding the guns over their
heads and firing indiscriminately, exposing them. There were eleven
of them. Six I could easily get but five stood on the other side of
a few small trees out of clear sight. Fuck it, I have come this far.
I checked the clip in the M-16 to make sure it was full. Then placed
three clips in a way it would be easiest to reload.
I’m going to wait until the one just behind the tree needs to reload and
then open fire. I lay silently until I saw him beginning to reload.
I open fired on them and when I saw the first three fall I ran forward, continuing
to fire hitting the other three that were exposed attempting to run.
I lunged behind another log giving me the advantage of cover. I forced
them to lie behind small rotted tree stumps with little cover. I had
gotten behind them keeping them from getting back deeper into the undergrowth.
Their only way out was to go through the tall grass into the field or run
in the opposite direction.
The firing stopped for a moment as I heard one of them shouting at the others
as though he were shouting commands. I knew something was about to
happen. I continued observing around the log, waiting for them to make
a move. Suddenly two of them began firing, dashing toward the thicket.
I open fired hitting them both. I had emptied a clip and reloaded.
I was in a perfect position to see them if they exposed themselves in any
way. I knew we were at a standstill. There were three remaining
but I knew I still had the advantage unless the three of them went in three
directions and I missed any of them. Knowing they were planning something
because they had been silent too long, I kept my rifle pointed at them and
my eyes open waiting for them to make a move but they lay still.
I could end it for myself right now by rushing them but I knew what they
would do if I were only wounded. They would torture me, so I’m not
going to chance it. I didn’t care if I died but the thought of being
tortured wasn’t so appealing. At this moment, I was willing to wait
it out because I knew that soon help would arrive. I hope their help
doesn’t get here first. I heard my name called in the distance and
I shouted back trying to answer but I wasn’t sure if they could hear me.
The shouting was at a distance so I knew no one was coming any closer.
I shot a few rounds at the gooks to let the others know it wasn’t safe to
approach. As I lay there, it became so quiet it was deafening.
As I listened, I heard a chopper in the distance. By the sound, it
was coming closer, but I couldn’t know for sure. I knew they would
have to make a move now. I prepared myself mentally to do whatever
it took not be taken alive.
They suddenly began firing and running in three directions. The one
running to the thicket was the easiest. I unloaded a clip on him finally
bringing him down. I should have gone for the one that ran to the grass.
Now he could circle behind me and maybe get the advantage. I jumped
up, ran to the grass throwing myself down, and began crawling further into
it so he wouldn’t know my position. I lay still listening for any sound.
My face and hands were stinging from crawling through the tall blades of
grass that had cut razor like incisions in my skin. I felt fear that
he would see me first. If he went toward the chopper, he could surprise
the others. Maybe his commander ordered him to take out the others.
I knew I had to make a move now. I began crawling toward the others
but felt I wasn’t moving fast enough. My Adrenalin was flowing and
I felt my heart beating so hard I was panting to get a breath. I stopped
and stood up, looked in a three-sixty circle several times as I ran toward
the chopper. I was dodging and weaving to make myself less a target.
When I was close, I almost yelled for Captain Lewis to warn him but I caught
a glimpse of something moving ahead of me. I wasn’t sure what it was
so I didn’t fire.
I stopped running and walked slowly toward it looking through my scope aiming
my rifle at that spot. I was within twenty yards when I yelled “Captain
Lewis!” As I did, the gook rose up turning in my direction and I open
fired unloading a full clip and re loading quickly. Everything was
silent, as I slowly walked forward not knowing for sure if I had hit him.
As I reached his body, I saw blood spewing but my fear was prevalent and
I wasn’t taking chances. I opened up with two quick burst into him
as his body jumped when the rounds entered him. My heart was pounding
as I quickly looked around to pacify my fear of the other one being nearby.
I new then that he had ran.
With my whole body feeling drained, I fell to one knee and began to collect
my thoughts. Someone must be watching over me. I couldn’t believe
I had survived. I glanced at his riddled body still holding the AK-47
and removed it from his grasp, tossing it aside for one last measure of security.
I looked into his face turning quickly to avoid the image burning an impression
in my mind. It was to late. His face would remain with me.
“Captain Lewis!” I shouted.
“Is that you Chief?”
“Yes! Don’t fire, it’s me Lamour!” I shouted.
“Hold your fire Walden, it’s the chief.”
“I heard him!” Walden yelled. I walked over to the chopper and
saw Walden leaning against it trying to hold the M-60. I knew that
it was getting heavy by his expression.
“Are you all right Sir?” I asked.
“What the hell happened?” he asked.
“I took’em out, all but one. We had better keep an eye out just in
case he returns. I can hear the choppers, can you?” I asked.
“Yeah, I hear them. How many gooks were there?”
“Eleven.”
“You killed eleven!”
“No, one got away.” I said, and then walked over to the others.
“Are you Okay Chief?” The Captain asked.
“Yeah, but my damn neck burns like hell. How are you guys?” I
asked looking at Delk and Shipley. I could see the pain in their faces.
“We need some morphine, my Fucking leg is killing me,” Shipley answered.
“Chief! What is your first name?” Captain Lewis asked.
“Jay.”
“Jay, you’re the dumbest Mother Fucker I have ever known!” he said using
a superior tone in his voice. I looked at him thinking how to react.
“Fuck You!” I said, and walked away.
“I was just fucking with you chief! Where are you going? Come on back!”
“I’m going back to the tree line to watch our back,” I said, continuing to
walk without looking back at him. He may not have meant it but he pissed
me off just the same. I knew he was sincere in a way, because he thought
himself as a Captain and I was an E-4. Fuck him!
“Chief! Hold up a minute.” Walden said hurrying to catch up. “He wasn’t serious,” he exclaimed.
“The fuck he wasn’t,” I said, stopping to face him. “Sir I know things
and I know he said it in a joking way but he meant it. If he and I
were alone I would blow his ass away!” I said, with a sincere voice.
“ Hey, I just want you to know I think you’re a Bad Mother Fucker,” he said as we returned walking to the tree line.
“Thanks sir,” I said. As we reached the bodies, he looked at them turning away with a grimace look on his face.
“Damn! You definitely killed those sons of bitches. Where did the other one run?”
“That way,” I said, pointing down the tree line.
“Remind me never to piss you off,” he said with a smile.
“Sir, I like you. You don’t have anything to worry about,” I said, with a grin. We laughed together.
“You’re going to get a Medal for this.”
“Fuck the medal! I’ll settle for a day off and a cold beer.”
“Maybe the Captain was right chief!” he said as I looked at him with a blank face. We burst out laughing.
We stood talking a while longer as the chopper finally arrived with a Cobra
Gunship escort. The Cobra didn’t land but circled our area for protection.
It was Stanton’ s chopper, 044. He had only been an FE for a little
more than a week. I didn’t know him that well.
Smitty, our line chief, along with two line mechanics and an avionics man
was with him. They also brought a squad of infantrymen to secure the
area. We walked to back of the chopper to meet them. Captain
Lewis had gone into the cockpit and had been trying to raise them on the
radio but Charlie had shot it up.
“What the hell took you so long?” Captain Lewis was shouting as he came down the ramp.
“When they couldn’t raise you on the radio they figured you had electrical
problems so they came back to get avionics, and me” Smitty explained.
“Get a Medi-Vac chopper in here. I’ve got two wounded.” The Captain shouted.
“Take them back on 044 Captain!” I said. He said nothing.
“Three wounded Captain!” Warrant Officer Walden said as he pointed
at me. I walked away to check on Delk and Shipley.
“It looks like you two might have to wait all day to get a ride out the way
these son of a bitches are acting. Just hang in there,” I said, sitting
down with them.
“Why don’t they hurry up? I can’t take much more of this pain!” Delk stated, his face grimace with pain.
Walden, Smitty and the two mechanics ran over to us.
“Let’s get them on 044! The CO is bringing another one and he wants you three on that one.” Walden said.
“I’m going back on my own chopper,” I replied.
“Damn Chief, why do you have to be a hard ass? The Captain called in
for the Medi-Vac and talked to the CO. He’s on his way to investigate.
He said if you weren’t hit bad to have you stay. But you need to get
your neck checked out.”
“Thanks Sir, I’m okay,” I replied. We suddenly heard rockets and gunfire
from the Cobra gunship. We stayed silent a few minutes waiting.
Stanton, the chief from the other chopper ran over and told us the Cobra
found the other gook about a thousand yards from here and unloaded rockets
on him.
They loaded Delk and Shipley onto the chopper and took off. I lay on
the grass alone. I thought about what I had done. I always knew
I wasn’t afraid to die but today I was tested. I was still sitting
when Smitty came back over to check on me carrying a first aid kit.
“Let me check your neck. What the hell happened to your face?” he said
pulling the wrap away. The dried blood pulled away causing it to bleed
again and me to jump back.
“Fuck Smitty! Are you trying to kill me?” I said, in pain.
“I need to clean it up. Be still ass-hole!” he said with a smile. He cleaned as I continued flinching.
“That fucking grass cut my face and hands up. Charlie must have planted that shit,” I said, as he laughed.
“Walden said you killed ten Gooks. He said you saved their Asses and he was going to make sure you got a Medal.”
“Those lifers think a lot about that shit, don’t they?”
“Hey, your talking to one now. Hell yes we do! We put our lives
on the line and we want people to know we do!” He said being angry
with me.
I sat alone while he went to assess at the damage to my chopper. The other line mechanics had replaced the pump.
A while later the CO’s chopper landed. He and three other officers
walked over to my chopper, surveying it and talked to the others. I
sat thinking. I missed my opportunity to die. But see dad, I’m
not a coward!” I lay back looking up in the sky.
A few minutes had passed and Captain Lewis walked up to me. I didn’t stand hoping he would say something.
“Chief, the CO wants to see you.”
I got up then and walked over to where the CO and the other officers were standing.
“Chief. Let’s take a walk. You can leave that here,” he said pointing at the M-16 I was still carrying.
“If it’s all the same Sir, I would rather keep it while we’re on the ground.”
“Okay chief.” We walked a ways from the others “Tell me what happened
chief.” We walked following the imprints I had made in the grass.
We first looked at the last one I had killed. I explained what had
happened. When we reached the other bodies, he just stood and looked
at them.
“Damn!” he said shaking his head. “Which way did the other run?” he
asked as I pointed. We walked over to where the first ones killed were
lying.
“You just ran up on them and fired!”
“Yes Sir, something like that.”
“You were outnumbered and it looks to me they had position on you.
Why did you take the chance knowing they could kill you?”
“I didn’t think about that. I just did it. I figured I had position on them.”
“Damn Chief! That sounds reckless to me.”
“Do you mean stupid, Sir?”
“Hell, I don’t know what to think Chief. Let’s get back with the others.”
After reaching the chopper Smitty told the CO my chopper would fly but without
a radio. The CO asked me if I wanted to fly back with him but I declined.
We started it up and the captain lifted off the ground a couple of times
testing the controls. After it checked okay, we took off following
the CO and the Cobra escort.
It was Seven o’clock when we arrived at the camp. I was tired and hurting
plus I was hungry. Of all days to miss breakfast and lunch. Everyone
at the company was waiting as we landed. I knew if it were me, I would
be curious too. On the flight back, I had tried counting the holes
and stopped at two hundred forty. I couldn’t believe this thing still
flies. I got off after we shut down and walked to the mess hall.
Some of the men walked with me asking questions about what happened.
I understood why the fuss but in my heart, I knew my head would never be
right. They had no idea I was thinking that way but still I would have
to answer their questions.
The Mess Sergeant had prepared spaghetti and as usual, he put to many bell
peppers in it. I hated bell peppers and picked them out before I ate.
Several of the men sat with me asking questions about what had happened.
Making a joke out of it, I said, to them there were fifty Gooks but they
had already heard before we got back how many there were. They all
laughed. Mike Brandon, another FE and my closest friend from Minnesota
came over and sat with us.
“Hey buddy, I heard you had it pretty rough today.” Mike asked.
“It got a little hairy for awhile,” I said, cracking a smile.
“I just came from the Flight Line and I overheard the CO and some others talking about the Medal of Honor.”
“Man, save that shit! They only give that to dead mother fuckers or
some near dead mother fucker who wiped out a battalion and a bunch of other
shit,” I said, as everyone laughed.
Weeks passed and everything seemed to be getting back to normal. Someone
had told us that Delk and Shipley shipped back to the states. Shipley
may lose his leg because infection had set in. It would come up sometimes
in conversation while we would sometimes sit around drinking a beer in the
evenings.