Wings as Eagles
A Drama by Jay Lance
Chapter 1
Becoming Of Age!
Near the age of fifteen, I walked to school each day passing Ann Rogues’ house, the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Her hair was sandy colored, straight and short, just touching her shoulders and her eyes were the most gorgeous aqua blue color with a perfect complexion. The type you see on the cover of magazines. I was captivated with her smile and guessed her to be about five-six with an immaculate body.
Just in those first moments, I had developed a serious crush, and being young and naive, I had my own conception of love. I imagined love to be turned off and on like a faucet, however, I couldn’t control those feelings I had for her and soon learned love subjugated all thoughts. At twenty until eight every morning, she would leave her house for school, and it wasn’t by chance we walked together. Each day rain or shine I timed my steps to be near her house when she walked out. From those first moments, being obvious, she new I was in love with her.
The catch was she dated the star basketball player but I couldn’t have cared less. I continued walking with her to and from school, carrying her books and every other foolish thing young boys do when they are smitten. Our lockers were adjoined and I had her schedule memorized perfectly and would hurry to my locker just for the opportunity to see and talk to her.
What I loved most was the feeling I had inside whenever we talked, always in a mature way. In my heart, I felt she was too good for me but she never acted that way and over time, we became close and she would open her heart to me about her innermost feelings.
Undoubtedly, when I was with her, I acted more mature than any other time in my life but normally when in the presence of a beautiful girl, I was very shy, however, I did on one occasion, find the nerve and to tell her I loved her. I also mentioned I’d love to date her if she and Lonny ever broke up. Even then, I knew it would never happen, but she continued to be sweet and say she would love to if that ever happened.
Until I met Ann, I had never considered what type of girls I’d been around or dated. I’d never gone all the way with any of them, but had fondled several. I loved to play with their minds but finally realized they weren’t in the same class as Ann.
One morning before third period, Ann and I were standing at our lockers talking when two girls I knew, Donna and Alice, approached. Donna and I had gone steady for a while. As they walked by, Donna asked if I were coming by her house after school, and I replied that I would let her know at fifth period when I saw her again. Ann looked at me disapproving of my choice.
“You can do better than that!” She remarked with a disappointing expression, put her hand on my cheek, and then leaned over and kissed me on the lips. “See you after class,” she said smiling, then walking away. I had kissed many girls but her kiss sent a sensation through me I had never felt before. Standing dumfounded by her kiss, I watched her walk away.
She had in that instant, changed my way of thinking. I believed in my heart what she had just said to me, and from that moment on, I tried to be with only those girls that I thought could live up to her expectations for me.
We remained friends and I was loyal to walk her to and from school the remainder of that year but never saw her after that time because she graduated. However, I would never forget her because in just the short time that I had spent with her, it helped me to realize that it was possible to have a close relationship with a girl, and just be friends.
Getting Serious!
That summer while at a friend’s house, I met Belinda, who had recently moved here from another area of town. She was beautiful with long dark brown hair, with a little wave and brown eyes, although being younger than me, looked and acted mature for her age. While at my friend’s house, she and I talked, and flirted for several hours but before leaving, I asked if I could see her again. She agreed, my first serious relationship began, and for three weeks, during that summer, I would go to her house every day. I had become very fond of her, maybe to the point that I loved her as much as any fifteen year old could love, and knew that I wanted to be with her every minute of the day. I had learned with her how to express love, not verbally only but by action and emotion.
I devoted myself to her putting aside all of the childish games I had played before with others. With her, I didn’t flirt with others, or doing things to make her jealous but going all out expressing my love so there was no doubt in her mind how I felt.
While walking to her house one afternoon I was talking to Kenneth, a friend who lived two houses up from hers, telling me, he had seen Belinda with her ex-boyfriend from her previous school. She had dated him for two years and when I confronted her about it, she explained that they had not been going together for some time.
I had that strange feeling which was very prevalent, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt when she expressed strongly that she was telling the truth, and that I was the only one she was seeing at this time. Moreover, we had spent so much time together and were always holding hands, kissing and even saying “I love you”, in the way that young kids do, also spending a great deal of time on the telephone when we weren’t together.
What was unknown to her and kept secret within myself was a special gift I have. It is an extra sense, giving me the ability to sometimes see and understand another persons true motives or to see into a persons’ heart. It wasn’t something I could visually see or touch but an extra feeling within me allowing me to sense beyond the normal senses of knowing if something is real or phony. I didn’t yet fully understand everything about it, I even caused myself grief a couple of times misjudging what these senses were telling me but I was learning fast its capabilities.
Again, a couple of days later, Kenneth told me that he had seen this boy at her house and I was angered again, confronting her and giving an ultimatum.
“I was told again that you’re still going with that other boy and you need to tell him to kiss off because I’m not going to play games with you! If I find out you lied to me I won’t be coming over anymore!” I said, in a way to let her know I was serious.
“Ronnie and I are just friends and have been playing this silly game for a long time but there is nothing between us,” she said trying to explain. I felt in my heart and trusted my feelings that she wasn’t telling me the truth and I wasn’t going to let her play me for a fool.
“I tell you what! When you get your act together you call me,” I said, walking away. I knew in that instant I wasn’t going back to her house and wasn’t going to call her. I loved her and wanted to be fair and not be that way, but she was forcing me to play mind games that I knew I was better at than she was. Kenneth had told me twice the same story, I believed him, I wasn’t going to be the one ending up looking like a fool, and I knew she cared for me and that she’s going to be the one that ends up being hurt.
My Second Love!
The next day at home, Brad, my brother was leaving to go to Jim’s, house to play basketball saying that he met a girl there and he liked her but had only seen her a couple of times when he had been there to play. He invited me to come but I had Belinda on my mind and was having second thoughts whether or not to call her knowing my pride wouldn’t let me.
“Maybe, I'll think about it,” I answered not knowing for sure. Brad left, an hour had passed and I was bored thinking about Belinda and thought that maybe playing basketball would take my mind off her and decided to play so I went to meet up with him.
When I arrived, there were several people including two girls setting off to the side. Immediately I began playing, as there weren’t enough players for two complete teams. Occasionally I would glance at the two girls that were sitting on the sidelines. One of them I knew, the other I had never seen and I wanted disparately to be introduced to her. She was beautiful and I knew that she was the one Brad had spoken to me about. Several minutes passed before Brad approached me pointing to Christi, letting me know this was the girl whom he had spoken.
During the remainder of the game, I couldn’t keep my eyes off her and I noticed she kept staring at me. As our eyes would meet it was like an alluring feeling between us that kept drawing me to her. I began to take breaks every few minutes just to sit beside her pretending to rest. We made small talk for a while as the others kept shouting at me to get back into the game. We played for another hour until it began to get dark, everyone decided to go home and all agreed that we would meet here tomorrow to play again. I walked over to where Christi was sitting, taking that last look at her before leaving.
“Are you going to be here tomorrow?” I asked.
“Yes, but I’m not sure what time.”
“Then I’ll see you sometime tomorrow,” I said to let her know I would be here.
“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.” After we had gotten home, I began talking and joking with Brad.
“Are you serious about her?” I asked being curious.
“I just met her and I’m not sure but I would like to know her better,” he answered as though he wasn’t sure about what he wanted.
“Well I’m going to steal her from you!” I said, in a joking way but being serious at the same time. He laughed. However, for me, I think it was love at first sight.
The next afternoon Brad and I walked to Jim’s house to play again and she consumed my thoughts. I felt in my heart that there was something between us when we had caught each other staring the previous day.
When we arrived, she had been there for a while because she came up to me and said we were expecting you guys a lot sooner. Her approaching me and making that comment signaled that we had a good beginning. I played a while then sat with her talking a few minutes, and then asked her to take a walk with me. She agreed so we went to the front yard and walked down the sidewalk talking for a while. I could feel the electricity between us and wondered if she felt it also.
She stood about even with my mouth, very petite, slim with brown hair to her neck, and with brown eyes that were very beautiful to look into. Her eyes had me mesmerized and I couldn’t help but stare into them while walking, making her nervous.
“What are you looking at?” She asked.
“Your eyes, they’re so beautiful.”
I turned walking backwards, acting silly. “I want to get a better look at you!” I said, embarrassing her as she turned her head away. I put my hands on her shoulders stopping her as she looked at me wondering what I was doing. I leaned over and kissed her and she responded by putting her arms around my neck. We stood kissing for minutes on the sidewalk and I could feel by the way she kissed me she was thinking seriously of me the way I was thinking of her.
“Can I call you?” I asked, nervously.
“Sure!” She answered and told me her number. I said it repeatedly in my head so as not to forget it.
I began calling her regularly, seeing her every day and I knew we were getting serious about each other. Over the next two weeks, our relationship grew.
Days after I had met Christi, I got a call from Belinda saying that she had broken up for good with Ronnie and she wanted me to come over. I had just met Christi and I felt there was something between us, but I still thought about Belinda and wasn’t sure what I wanted and I told her that I wasn’t up to playing any more games, that I would have to think about it and I would call her.
More than a week had passed and mom had been taking calls from Belinda leaving me notes and telling me that I should return her calls. I think mom could see what was going on and even told Belinda that she thought I was seeing someone else. At eleven-thirty one night, she called, finally catching me at home and being upset that I had put her off for so long.
“Your mom said that you were seeing someone else. Is that true?” She asked.
“Yes, I met someone,” I answered wanting her to know the truth and to play with her mind a little. I could hear in her voice that she had begun crying.
“I have done what you asked, I don’t see Ronnie any more and I told him to kiss off just as you asked me to, so can’t you do what I ask and come over?” She asked as she continued crying. I began making phony excuses.
“You were so immature playing me along about your relationship with Ronnie, I really loved you and I treated you good. I gave you everything of me and you went behind my back so as far as I’m concerned you’re still seeing him!” I stated.
“That’s not true, I’m not seeing him and I will prove it if you come over, I love you,” she replied. For a moment, she had caught my ear and I asked. “How are you going to do that?” I wanted to be sure that she wasn’t continuing playing games with me. I asked her. “What did you mean?”
“I don’t want to say over the phone just come over and I will show you,” she answered.
“I’m not coming over,” I said, causing her to tell me what she meant.
“I want us to make love!” She stated plainly, which stunned me. I had not thought about that in a serious way but I was thinking about it now.
I had never had a girl to be that direct with me before. In my mind, I wanted to take her up on it and with an offer like that; I didn’t want to break up with her just yet. I was going to be fifteen in a couple of months and I had never gone all the way with a girl, so I didn’t know what to do.
“I will call you tomorrow,” I said. I wanted time to think but she refused to hang up the telephone.
“I will do anything for you!” She stated. I had no idea she was that serious about me. “Please don’t do this to me. I’m sorry if I made you mad,” she continued. I felt things were getting out of hand.
“I’ll call you tomorrow! Bye!” I told her needing time to think.
“Okay, but please call me tomorrow!” She said and continued crying as we hung up.
“Wow!” I said, to myself. I had never had anything happen to me like that. Deep down it was a good feeling but I really didn’t know what I wanted.
I had played silly love games in the past with other girls and the ones that had a crush on me were always easy to manipulate. Being immature, I think I toyed with them just for fun or maybe to see what kind of reaction I would get. Just the idea of being able to make someone jealous for the fun of it was appealing to me, however. I had not realized until this moment to what extent the power I had over a beautiful girl for sex. The knowledge of this power was exhilarating!
I was confused as to what I wanted so I called Christi hoping to find out how serious she was about me. I guess I was fishing to make sure that if I broke away from Belinda, that I wouldn’t lose Christi too. After Christi and I talked awhile, I tried to find the right words to say or the right questions to ask knowing deep down how I felt about her. I felt that I loved her but it may be too soon to tell if we were seriously going to make it and didn’t expect her to say she loved me first. However, I wanted to know now. I thought to myself, just say what you want too! I made small talk for a minute until I got the nerve to say what I needed.
“Christi, we have only known each other for a couple of weeks. I want you to know I love you.” I stated, and didn’t expect an answer or a reaction so quickly.
“I love you too!” She replied. The fact she professed her love for me didn’t surprise me but replying that quickly did.
“I have wanted to tell you that for awhile, and I wish we were together so I could tell you in person,” I stated.
“I have been wanting you to say it and I was wondering if you were going to,” she replied.
I made up my mind but what was I going to tell Belinda, after what she had said and the way she acted? I didn’t know what to say so the next decision was very tough for me to make. I began to get greedy and think that now I could go to Belinda’s and take her up on her offer and Christi would never know. If I did, could I just drop her after taking advantage of her and not feel guilty? I would have to see her for a while and find some way to break it off, and then finally, something inside me said just to break it off, now.
“Can I call you first thing in the morning? I have to take care of something,” I asked.
“Okay, I’ll be here.” We said bye.
I called Belinda and tried to be as kind as possible.
“I’m sorry, I don’t think I love you the way I did before and I think it would be better if we go our own ways,” I said. She began crying again.
“I can make you happier than anyone,” she stated. I wasn’t sure how to handle this situation because I still cared for her but my feelings were much stronger for Christi. “Please don’t do this to me. I’ll do whatever you want! Do you want me to come to you?” She asked, still crying. I knew what she meant and began feeling sorry for her as she made it hard for me to break it off. I couldn’t hang up in her face because I had never treated a girl that dirty before and didn’t want to now, but I have never had a girl to be this serious about me either “that I knew about”.
I stayed on the telephone with her for another half-hour saying I was sorry a few times until I convinced her that I wasn’t going to see her anymore. After we hung up, I hurt in my heart for her and wanted to call her back just to tell her I was sorry but I couldn’t do it and it wasn’t long before she was almost completely out of my mind.
If you enjoyed this work, take a moment to email the author.
Your comments are their only payment.