Public Service Announcement

I recently received this tape from my friend Ron who asked me to post his previous story "Upstairs" to USENET -- despite what he says here. I've tried to accurately transcribe the sounds on the tape into text format, but may have made some mistakes. I'm not really sure why he sent it in this form, anyway. I know he was complaining about RSI before, but that's been better since he met Sylvia...

[TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS]

Hello? Hello? Testing One...Two...Three... *swoosh tap tap tap* Is this thing on? Oh, ok.

Hiya Joe! You told me that a bunch of people on the net told *you* they liked that little Upstairs story about Sylvia and me. Well, next time you post something of mine, tell me! Sylvia found it, and had a field day! Who knew she read the group? She said, "It sure is short!" Then she berated me for leaving out her name.

So, I updated it, and promised her to send something 'more' later. The updated copy is with this tape, how 'bout posting it for me again?

She went on to say that I should have put more "characterization and plot" in it. Hey, I just thought it was a quick little story about something strange that happened to us. But I guess it doesn't count if you're Sylvia and it's about you. He he.

Anyway, we were sitting around talking about which adventure we'd post first, and what the heck 'characterization' was, when she got a naughty gleam in her eye. We were listening to WQFS at the time, so that's probably what caused it.

It's a pretty good station, if you don't mind waiting through the weird stuff. Of course, if you're like Sylvia and me, it's the weird stuff you wanted to listen to in the first place. Anyway, while we were talking about how I could "repair the damage" I had done to Sylvia's "character", WQFS decided to play a Public Service Announcement.

They have to do that, because they're a non-profit radio station y'know.

OK, so here they were playing this PSA about which days which people should put out their trash, when Sylvia got that look in her eye. She looked at me, poked me in the chest, and said, "You are going to do a PSA for that group"

I said something remarkably intelligent, like "A wha?"

"A Public Service Announcement."

"Oh-kay..." I said. "But it's a sex story group...why would they need a PSA?"

"Because, " she said, "It's a story, it's got sex, and it's vital, important information every woman needs to know -- and, to top it all off we can give WQFS a proper homage."

"Oh?" I asked her.

"Yep." she said. "Remember when I first started listening to WQFS?"

"Sure," I said. "They were playing bluegrass when I got here. A few minutes later, they were playing Acid Rock."

"Remember the song we heard?"

"Oh yeah, . . . " I said. I was beginning to see where this was going. I was also starting to hum.

"Remember what I did?"

"Mm-hmmm. How could I forget?" Yep, I knew where it was going, and my cock was already rock hard. I was also starting to sing the song.

"Well, we're gonna tell them about it."

"Yep. That's a good idea." I got up and started gathering things together.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "We've got to make the tape!"

"Research," I said. "Meet me in the bedroom."

"Wait, first I've got to call in a request."

Anyway, we just got done with an realistic reenactment of the original, and Sylvia's half-asleep, half-zoned out on the bed, and I thought I'd go ahead and make this tape.

Ok, Joe, you can start transcribing now.

Greetings Female Netizens! I'm Ron Shale, and I've got an important message for you! Having Man trouble? Is he too much 'smash bam thank you ma'am'? is he all 'how about a blowjob' this, 'how about a screw' that? Need a little time spent focusing on you? And I don't mean the time when you're alone! Well my girl Sylvia and I have the perfect answer for you. Just listen to this:

We first made our discovery one day when Sylvia and I were sitting around her den eating pizza. She'd discovered this cool college radio station--WQFS, and we'd been listening to it for awhile, amused at the variety. It's not like a commercial station where they play maybe 20 or 30 different songs over and over. Instead it's like whim of the moment. If some college kid sees (or brings in) some track he wants to play, he does. And if someone calls in a request, well if they have it, they play it. Keeps them from having to figure out what to play, I guess.

Anyway, I was scarfing down some patented PieWorks pepperoni pizza, when I hear a strange song on the air. I looked over at Sylvia, and she nodded, and started singing, "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down, the medicine go down." By this time I had finished chewing, and joined her with "In the most delightful waaaayyyy!"

We sang through the song, giggling with each other. When it was over, Sylvia said, "You know, most things are better with sugar." I gave her some sugar then, until she pushed away from me. "No, I meant the other kind," she said, giggling.

"Well that's true," I said. "Except for pizza." I took a bite of more of the delicious pizza.

"Even PieWorks has sweet pizzas..." she argued.

"Well, that's true. I'll concede the point. Everything is better with sugar." There really wasn't any point in arguing. Like I said before, she's always right.

Well, the next day was payday, and I took her out to eat. I don't remember where, or what we ate, since as we were getting out of the car, she whispered in my ear, "Don't order dessert, I've got something sweet back at the house." And I knew what she meant. Or I thought I did.

When we got back to her place, she unlocked the door, and handed me the keys. She asked me to go get some stuff out of her car, while she made dessert. I sighed, and said "Ok" even though it was looking like dessert was going to be cake or something boring.

So when I got all that stuff back up to her apartment, she called to me from her bedroom. She was laying on the bed, naked as the day she was born, legs and arms wide, just ready for me. She smiled coyly at me, as I quickly got out of my clothes.

The radio was playing, WQFS of course, and the DJ was on, "Well an interesting request out there for Ron and Sylvia. Here you go guys, from Mary Poppins, 'A Spoonful of Sugar'" I looked at the radio, then at Sylvia, and arched my eyebrow. She grinned at me and said, "Sugar makes everything better, right?"

I nodded, and she reached down to her side of the bed and brought out some Whipped Cream. "Let's test that theory."

The whipped cream was still cold, so she shivered as I applied it to her breasts and led a trail down to her nether lips. I hesitated to put something that cold down there, but she just rocked her hips, and said, "Go for it --the cold feels good.." As I put it on, she drew her breath in sharply, then slowly let it out.

I moved onto the bed, kneeling between her legs, and worked my mouth over her breasts, licking and playing with them. I played it like a game, trying to get every last bit of the whipped cream off. I follwed the trail from one breast down to her belly button, then back up to the other. By the time I'd finished licking it up she was moaning and rocking her hips.

I nibbled a bit on her right nipple tasting the sweetness of it. I looked at her, and said "I always knew you were my sweetie."

She just looked at me and said, "You're not done, sweetie"

I moved back down and carefully cleaned out her bellybutton of all whipped cream, and slowly worked my way down there.

I'm no expert at cunnilingus, but by the time I was in position, she was already hot and bothered, and getting pretty wet. The mixture of her juices and the Whipped Cream made a scrumptious delicacy I'd never tasted before, and I was determined to get as much as possible. And that was just due to the taste! Once I heard her moans and sighs, I started to really get into it.

My world shrank to just what I was doing: How good it tasted and how much it was affecting her. All I wanted to do was lick more and more of that sweet, tasty juice. Sometime in there she started bucking hard against my face, but I stayed focused on what I was doing. So much so, I barely noticed when she came.

She breathlessly told me, "You can stop now," and I started to come back to my senses. I crawled back up on top and looked down at her. Sylvia had a contented look on her face, and a very happy grin.

I rocked my hips, and slid into her sopping wet pussy, and slowly moved in and out of her. As I moved, I looked down at her glistening skin where the whipped cream had been, her sugar-coated breasts, and her contented grin.

I put my arms around her shoulders, and held her tight, happy to just be there with her. I kept moving slowly, and rhymically, in and out of her, trying to make the moment last as long as possible. "That wazh good, " she said. "Shugar really helps.."

"Yes, Yes it does," I replied, taking one hand to bursh her hair back, as I slowly drove my cock deep into her.

She looked up at me, and I smiled down at her. "Fuck me," she said and gave me a wanton look. She swivelled her hips in that way that tightens everything down on my cock, and I just lost control.

I levered myself back up on my arms and closed my eyes, and went at it, pistoning in and out. The feel of her velvety lips was just luxurious. Then I remembered the taste of her--the taste still in my mouth--and the thought drove me to go faster, and faster, and faster. Finally I came, and collapsed, exhausted, next to her.

"That, " I gasped, tired, "was good."

"Yes it was..."

We talked for a bit, and slowly drifted off to sleep.

The next day I caught her humming a Mary Poppins tune, and we did it again. She's got new words for it, something like 'Makes the boyfriend go down, makes the boyfriend go down, In the most delightful way.' All I can say is, it's definitely turned up the heat for us. And especially for Sylvia. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

So, ladies, that's the big secret. Remember that the road to a man's heart is his stomach, but his taste buds might get him to go other places. And if you guys feel left out, that this PSA wasn't for you, well, remember--

Oh hi Sylvia, I was just finishing up ...Oh, my. Yes, that feels good, yes...hmmm.. So, ummmmm, guys, remember, oh yeah.... This um, works for *gasp* you too, because oh,oh.oh! yes!......the ladies will... mmmm ...they'll um..express their...oh yess...yessss,. .that's it...their ahahah...gratitude...yeah! gratitude!

*gasp* Um Joe, that's it. And can you clean it up a bit for me?

Thanks, man.

[END TRANSCRIPT]

Sorry Ron, Sylvia told me to transcribe the whole thing, exactly like it was on the tape. Hope you don't mind.