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11-02-03, for Frank McCoy
A Birthday Reading
Well, no wonder she wasn't available and on time for Cmsix's birthday greeting. Something odd has gotten into Our Nymph lately (no, we're not discussing new beaus, thank you very much). It seems as though she's developed an interest in carpentry. Carpentry? What is it about this birthday that annually inspired her to build thing? Nails and hammers and wooden boards. Pounding and sawing and sanding. Rubbing and brushing and painting. Geesh.
While the bulk of the patrons in La Taverna are preoccupied either watching or avoiding watching the birthday “greeting” going on across a table in the center of the room, Our Nymph is frantically filling the new, nymph-made bookshelves now lining the stage.
She puts the final book in place and steps up to the microphone.
<ahem>
Naturally, given the distractions, very few patrons notice. She pulls out her wand and gives it a quick flick in the air. The light above the “other” birthday boy's table sparks and the bulb breaks, raining glass over his back. Various patrons murmur their suspicions that this only really adds to the birthday greeting already in progress.
Slowly, heads turn towards the stage.
“Thank you. Now, if I can have your attention for just a moment, we have another birthday that needs recognizing. After last year's. um, slightly embarrassing misunderstanding over the nature of this birthday boy's preferences, I did some additional checking around. Turns out that there's a certain book that several folks around here thought that our other birthday boy, Mr. McCoy, would appreciate. And, naturally, an autographed copy would be best, right?
“However, I have been know, on occasion, to misunderstand. So, to avoid any further problems, I brought a few extra titles. Books that, upon first reading, seemed as though they might be the one.
“So, Mr. McCoy, I present to you the following books. All of them are first edition, signed copies. I trust that one of them will be the one you're desiring.”
Working as her own Vanna White tonight, Our Nymph flutters her fingers over each title as she read them aloud.
“Lowly DAR - A story of Female Slaves during the American Revolution by Toby R. Natabe.
“Lowel Eater by H. Lector.
“Low Leader – A Retrospective of the Questionable Presidencies, by T. Rust Emnot.
“Low Liter. The story of a glass half full, by N. Janier
“Loll Eider - A history of mattresses by Liane Down
“Low Liter – A Bartender's Guide by S. Ervem.
“Low Leaker - Plumbing for Dumnies by Rusty Piper
“And, last but not least, Low Litter … a History of Garbage Removal in Valley Regions. Please, Mr. McCoy, read them in good health on this, your birthday.”
