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08-02-03, for Rui Jorge
Sinking the, um, ball.
Who would have thought that someone could make it look so sexy? Never, in the history of fashion, have argyle socks, knickers and a plaid sweater looked quite so appealing.
She's also been redecorating, our Nymph. Gone, for the moment, are the comfy chairs and wooden tables. Gone are the hardwood floors and wing back chairs. And, unfortunately, gone are the waitresses in skimpy skirts and ruffled blouses. In their place, the patrons are spending the day walking on artificial (although very realistic, of course) green turf, tiny flags, and…because this is, after all, LaTaverna…cheerleaders.
She steps to the stage, adjusts her wings (anyone else wonder where she found a sweater vest with cut-outs for wings?), and taps the edge of the stage with a two iron.
<ahem>
Unfortunately, it appears as though the patrons are highly distracted. In the back, two authors are arguing about the best method for polishing their balls (oh, stop people, this is golf we're talking about). Against the side wall, an author and her editor are complaining about losing their grip. And, directly in front of the stage, the cheerleaders (golf cheerleaders, leave it to this crowd) are turning handsprings and showing the spectators exactly what a golf cheerleader doesn't wear under her pleated skirt.
Our nymph tries again.
<Ahem>
Nothing.
Out comes the wand. A few observant spectators take note and move to hide behind the bar. Our nymph taps the edge of the stage once again, and then raises her wand above her head. The spectators cringe, bracing themselves for an explosion (after all, no one really quite trusts the nymph and her wand).
<pop>
Our nymph shrugs prettily and grins. “It's golf. That's my version of the golf-clap. What can I say?”
“Anyway, folks. Now that I have your attention, I'd like to thank you all for coming today and joining us in this celebration. It was tough to set up … you'll never believe how much artificial turf runs these days, and building a putting green in a space this size called for some serious negotiations with the space-regulators. But I think you'll agree that it was all worth it.
“So, before I let you get back to your games…and I do hope that you all get a chance to score at least one hole in one, so-to-speak…please join me in wishing Rui a very happy birthday.
“Happy Birthday, Rui. Our own resident Master of the Links!”
