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11-08-02, for Reverand Cotton Mather
A birthday tomorrow
At a table in the back of La Taverna, the Birthday Satyr is conducting an interview. Having placed the Birthday Nymph on leave without pay for her mishandling of Eli and Maria's birthdays, he has to find a temp to take her place, and he's running out of time. At midnight, when it becomes the 9th of November, there's another one to celebrate.
It's not going well.
“Do you consider yourself a people person... er, being?”
“Yessir, Mr. Satyr, I do. Of course, this place is full of perverts and homos, not too many people, but I can adjust, as long as I don't have to work with kikes or chinks or wops.”
(Makes a downcheck on the interview form.) “Do you even read their stories?”
“Oh, sure. I even make copies and post them to other groups and websites. I've made a few bucks selling my copies to pay sites.”
“Isn't that a violation -”
“They gave up their copyright when they posted! If I can see it, it's free to grab.”
“I see.” (Makes another downcheck.)
“Besides, most of this stuff is an abomination before the Lord. They're all goin' to hell, anyway.”
“I see.” (Makes another downcheck.)
“As far as I'm concerned, there only needs to be five story codes in this news group: SP for Sexual perversion; SD for Sexual Deviates; GA for Godless Abomination; DP for disgusting perversions; and of course, Rom.”
“I see.” (Makes another downcheck.) “Well, I think I have enough information. You'll be notified if you get the position”
The interviewee stands. “You have my resume?”
“I have it right here in my files.” He manages not to glance at the wastebasket in the corner until the interviewee is out of site.
He sighs. Then he signals the waitress with his empty pitcher. One of the patrons asks, “How'd it go?”
“Let's just say that ASSD won't be seeing any posts from 'the Birthday Troll' and let it go at that.”
“But what about Reverend Cotton Mather's birthday? It's only a few hours away, in some timezones.”
“It's already started in others. I'll just have to trust that a man of the cloth will understand and forgive us for not having nymphs leaping out of cakes or some such, and hope he has a great birthday anyway.
“Happy Birthday, Rev!”
