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10-31-02, for Alexis in Alaska
Another Birthday
The Birthday Satyr doesn't normally condescend to make birthday announcements... he's middle management. Unfortunately, his immediate supervisor (the Birthday Succubus) insists. After all, this one represents a conflict of interest for the Nymph who normally handles these things. (And don't think that won't be a downcheck on her next annual evaluation!
That's why he finds himself entering La Taverna on a Thursday Morning, not too long after midnight in a certain timezone. As much as he detests field work, there are perks. He prances up (yes, prances! You try walking any other way with hooves!) behind a stately blonde and gives her a holiday goose...
When she lands back on her feet, facing the Birthday Satyr, she lashes out with a dainty foot, barely missing his groin. “I'm a lesbian, you idiot!” she informs him. Oh, well. Her loss.
He spots his target at a table with another woman and a feeble old cleric. He calls over the waitress and whispers a few words in her ear, pointing. The waitress nods, and the BS (what unfortunate initials - no wonder he hates field work!) allows her to leave to make arrangements with the rest of the waitstaff.
He clippity clops (well, it's better than prancing) over to the table and takes the vacant seat. The occupants all turn to stare. He crooks a finger at the diminutive redhead, and with a look of mild annoyance, she leans closer. The Birthday Satyr whispers in her ear. The only words the other occupants of the table can be certain of are “velcro” and “crowbar”. Despite the ardor she no doubt feels for BS, she coyly hides it behind an expression of distaste and asks BS if he is running for public office. BS in Government? Absurd!
Meanwhile, the Waiters and Waitresses are approaching the table, clapping semi-rhythmicly and beginning to sing some trademark La Taverna birthday song, the lines of which end in words like “Nantucket”
The Birthday Girl manages to hide her waves of Lust for the Birthday Satyr by sinking lower in her seat (the phonebook slides from beneath her) and placing her face in her hands. When the song concludes (there are six verses), the Birthday Satyr stands and announces:
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALEXIS!!!”
