ASSD Medals of Humor

Designed by Gary Jordan

I actually had someone ask me for pictures of the "medals" I described in the January Silver Clitorides Awards Presentation, so I thought about it, and...
Updated March 9, 2002. Added a few new ones, and several partials for comment. To see all of the awards on one page, Click Here, but be advised - it loads slowly.

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Section 1
The Meritorious Service Medals

The Anniversary Party Medals

All participants in the ASSTR Anniversary Party Event are entitled to wear the appropriate Medal(s).

Medal

the Flash Event Medal


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The Anniverary Party Event Medal



The Fantasy Train Award

Medal

For participants the Fantasy Train Event



The Golden Gourd

Medal

For participants in the Halloween 2000 Event



Conjugate's Naive Nympho Medal

Medal

For participants in the Conjugate's Naive Nympho Challenge



The Virago Blue Challenge Medal

Proposed medals or partials for participants the the Virago Blue Challenge. The theme is "Chicks in Chain Mail. Please feel free to indicate your choice of ribbon and/or medallion.

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1

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2

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3

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4

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5

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8

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9

Medal

A



The Dulcinea Memorial Writing Festival Medals

For participant in the D.M.W.F.

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The Gold Medal, for the winner.

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Silver Medal, second place.

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Bronze Medal, third place.

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A medal in copper, for non-winning participants



The Golden Clitorides Medal

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For participation in the Golden Clitorides Awards. Winners will find a pearl in their shell...



Pendragon's Challenge Medals

Strangely, all of Uther's Challenges have something to do with sperm...

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Pendragon's First Challenge - to write a story emphasizing safe sex.

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Pendragon's Second Challenge - to write a story in which a committed couple decide to have a baby.

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A possible alternate design

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A possible alternate design

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A possible alternate design

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A possible alternate design



The Vanilla Award

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Fairly self-explanatory, don't you think?



The Silver Clitorides Medal

Medal

For anyone nominated for the Silver Clitorides Award. Winners may have inscribed a silver "W" as well as the month and year.



The Dueling Flashers Medals

Medal

Nicholas Urfé vs. DrSpin. Mr. Urfé brought quality to the plain of honor. The Good Doctor brought both quality and quantity. - "Never bring a sword to a gunfight."

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Alexis Siefert vs. Selena Jardine. As of this update, the jury is still out



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Section 2
The Combat Medals

The Golden Peeler

Medal

For dealing with a troll or flame warrior as though he/she was wielding a peeler in a room full of Samurai.



The Flame Warrior's Cross

Medal

Awarded to Combatants in Flame Wars.

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Awarded to Combatants in Flame Wars. Note that the axe embellishment is only worn by Flame Warriors whose technique is to fan the flames by just axing a question for clarity...



Veterans of C*pyr*ght Wars Medallion

Medal

For all participants/survivors of copyright flamewars.



The Critical Mass Medallion

Medal

Awarded to Combatants in Reviewer Flame Wars




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Section 3
Pass In Review

The Celestial Medals

These Medals are associated with the famous/infamous reviewer, Celeste.

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The Celestial 10s, for straight tens

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The Celestial Column - For surviving an appearance in Celeste's review column.

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The Celestial Bough - For participating in Celeste's Christmas Challenge



The Star of Verdigris Medal

Medal

This Medal is associated with the most recent reviewer, The Tainted Lime.

The rating system involves 1 to 5 stars, affixed to the top of the medal.



The Master Baiter Medallion

Medal

This Medal is for the Veterans of the Fish Tank, hosted by the lovely Desdmona.

Medal

Maybe this background would be more appropriate?


Joe Fish

As Joe Cartoon says,
      "Real fisherman...
        do not feel sorry...
           for the bait."



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Section 4
Ye Heavenly Hosts

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Alt Sex Stories Text Repository [ASSTR] - http://www.asstr-mirror.org/. Home of over 500 of the Net's best erotic authors and home of this web page. Operated as a non-profit organization, ASSTR provides free hosting and is the archive for the newsgroup Alt.Sex.Stories.Moderated and mirrors other collections.


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Stories Online - http://www.storiesonline.net. A privately owned hosting service by Lazeez Jiddan. Has completely free access, but rising costs have resulted in a fee for advanced search and similar utilities.


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Ruthie's Club - http://www.ruthiesclub.com. A for-profit pay site. Ruthie's Club is an ASSTR and Stories Online alumni society for arguably some of the better authors in recent memory, and new stories are very lightly illustrated. This is not an endorsement, merely an opinion.


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Clean Sheets - http://www.cleansheets.com.


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The Erotica Readers and Writers Association [ERA] - http://www.erotica-readers.com/ERA/.



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Section 5
Unspecified Projects...

Medal Medal Medal Medal Medal Medal Medal Medal Medal Medal Medal

Are we having fun yet? That's a Server Challenge Medal, An Editor's Medal, from which I'll probably dangle a gold crab. (What? Curmudgeon, not crustacean? Works either way, I think.) Possible replacements for the Pendragon Medals, Maybe an Easter Challenge or a Big Hopper Medal.

The girls at the beach? Maybe I just think naked women at the beach deserve a medal!