By: Michael Lee

Copyright © 1999 by Michael Lee.  All rights reserved.

"If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me." ~ W. H. Auden

Winter. A time of rest, a time of hibernation. The forest is in deep slumber, storing energy for the upcoming season of new growth. Animals have retreated to their caves, their lives placed on hold to await the warm winds of new life. As gray skies usher in the bitter Canadian cold, snow squalls sweep eastward pushed by currents of upcoming change. Above the crusty layer of cold snow, life appears to be still. This is only an illusion. As the earth tilts ever closer to the sun, the patterns of life are shifting. This change cannot be halted, only accepted. Preparation is the key to survival. Have I prepared enough? Can our love, seemingly in hibernation, be awakened?

I love the smell of winter. The frigid air has a fresh scent, one you can almost taste. While the freezing temperatures and bitter wind try to batter the body, the scent reminds you that nothing has changed. Life is still present. Beauty remains, although it has assumed a different form.

Hope strolls by. Her scent, so fresh and lively, accented slightly by her perfume, is the same today as I remember from our first date, ten years ago. Her auburn hair is now shorter, reflecting the change from a flirtatious young girl with the world at her feet, to a young woman, accomplished in life and career, secure in her early thirties. She has wrapped herself in a thick wool sweater in an attempt to fight off the north wind. She is always cold. Born and raised in a small southern town, she will never get used to these Rocky Mountain winters. It is dark outside, only six-thirty or so. She has just walked in from work, and brushes past me with a slight smile as she falls in a heap on the couch.

"Please, shoot me now," she pleads, exhaling her frustrations as she speaks. "Oh, God, how can I make it through another day like today?"

"That bad, eh?" I ask. She will hang herself if given too much rope. If she has a flaw, then speaking her mind is it.

"Those . . those . . . a-holes . . . I just can't take it any more. If they think I am going to stick around just for the money, then they are sadly mistaken. Jack, I applied for a new job today. And if they make me an offer, I am going to take it, no questions asked."

"Are you sure? Have you thought about it, or are you just acting on a whim?"

"No, this time I mean it. I have had it up to here with them. Especially Mr. Bob Renfro. Do you know that when I told him I was thinking of leaving, he just smiled and said 'Now, now. Don't say anything you may regret later'. So much for that 'Our Employee's Come First' crap. No, this time I am gone."

I, of course, had heard all this before. Hope had been dissatisfied with a lot of things lately. Her job, our house, hell even our sex life. She had threatened to quit her job as a pharmaceutical rep at least ten times in the last year. She would finally calm down, and keep on selling. The money was just too good. She made a ton, much more than I did. I didn't mind, although the pressures of her job had affected our relationship. The money was rolling in, but at the cost of rolling around in the sack. We never seemed to connect in bed like we used to. God, how we used to connect.

I had met my future bride at, of all things, a wedding. Yes, the clichés are true, at least from my point of view. She was a bridesmaid and I a groomsman at the wedding of two mutual friends. The wedding party had gathered for a weekend celebration at the Marriott in downtown Atlanta. Everyone in the wedding party was staying in the hotel, to attend the various showers and parties. Although we knew each other by name, we had never spoken more than a few words, usually a quick greeting in passing. Hope was a doll, especially pretty in the black silk dress she wore to the rehearsal. Her eyes shone like emeralds, and I couldn't look away. We shamelessly made eyes at each other all through the rehearsal and the dinner afterwards. As fate would have it, we were seated directly across from each other at the dinner table, and we traded small talk and jokes all night. As the party broke up, she left with the girls, and I with the boys for the obligatory bachelor party. Before she left, she slipped a note into my hand.

'Meet me in the lobby at 1:30.' That was all it said. I was a little surprised. Hope had the reputation of being a "good girl". She was not the typical pretty college party girl. She was active in her church, and was a member of the all the right social clubs. She always dressed impeccably. Cool, tailored, elegant. The note to meet at such a late hour seemed a little out of character. However, it did get my juices flowing. I felt my cock stir at the thought of a midnight date with such a pretty girl.

The bachelor party was excruciating. The strippers were quite plain, and their strained movements and forced smiles were anything but erotic. All I could think of were those emerald eyes. Mercifully, my friends were too cheap to pay for a long drawn out party, and by 12:15, the strippers were gone, and most everyone had passed out. I had consumed only two beers, and was wide awake. I arrived in the lobby an hour early worried that she would not make it to our secret meeting. Hope arrived five minutes later, obviously excited to see me waiting.

We went to the hotel club and sat down for a drink. She sat close enough for me to catch her scent, a lovely, sweet smell, so quietly feminine. Her dress was cut low in the front, and as she leaned over to talk to me, I couldn't stop glancing at her cleavage. She had obviously changed bras, opting for one of those push-up styles. The tops of her breasts swelled invitingly over her dress, and I was getting uncomfortable. God how I wanted her. Hope had had a few drinks before we met, and her fair skin was showing a noticeable blush. Her chest and neck were flushed, and her nipples were peeking out deliciously through the thin material of her bra and dress. By now, I was fully erect. Suddenly, she stood up.

"Come on, Jack. Let's dance."

She took my hands and pulled me to the dance floor as the DJ started a slow song. I took her in my arms and pulled her close. I slipped my hand down the back of her dress resting my hand on the swell of her round bottom. She pushed her body into mine, and looked me directly in the eyes. Her eyes sparkled. She was strikingly beautiful, the thick curls of her long red hair framing her lovely face. I bent forward and kissed her. We held still, not moving, pressing our bodies together as people danced around us. As I kissed her, I could feel my stiff cock pressing into her tummy. I knew she could feel it too, but she didn't pull away. She opened her legs slightly, and pushed her pussy on my thigh. She seemed to slowly grind her hips on me as we remained locked in a sensuous embrace, teasing each other with the promise of what must be coming. She kept the promise her body made on the dance floor that night.

We went up to her room, hand in hand. As the door closed behind us, she wrapped herself in my arms again, her tongue playfully darting into my mouth. She reached down and squeezed my cock, giggling slightly at my startled reaction. I could not believe that this was the same girl. I never knew she could be so passionate, so lustful.

"Mmmmm, you feel so hard. God I can't wait any more," she whispered, panting into my ear as her hand stroked my shaft. "I have been dying to taste your cock all night long. You are so sexy. The way you looked at me all night made me wet my panties. See?"

She took my hand and guided it under the hem of her short dress. She was right. Her panties were soaked. Her thighs were even wet. I took the lead and pressed my hand firmly into her mound, and a soft moan escaped her lips.

"See. I told you so. Oh, yes, please. Touch me. Put your fingers in me. Please."

She was breathless, and leaned into me as she closed her eyes. Her pussy was so warm and wet, that I had to see more. Leaving my hand on her crotch, I led her to the bed and pushed her down, gently laying her before me. I pushed her dress over her hips and stared at her. She reached up and put her breasts firmly in each of her tiny hands. Her head was thrown back, and her eyes remained tightly shut. She arched her back, raising her hips off the bed. I reached under her and grabbed her firm bottom, pulling her pussy to my face as I leaned into her. Her black panties were so pretty. I slipped my fingers in each leg opening, and pulled the thin, wet material into a bunch. Slowly I rubbed the soft material up and down her slit, noticing the wet strands of fine red hair peeking at me from her soft cunt. Finally, I pulled the material to one side, allowing me my first look at her magnificent cunt. Her pussy lips were clearly visible through the delicate hair surrounding her pussy. Her clit begged for attention, and the lips were slightly open, revealing the bright red of her core. The smell of her hot cunt was everywhere. God, it was heavenly. If there is a sweeter smell than the scent of a woman wanting to be fucked, I have yet to find it. I bent forward and softly kissed her directly on her steaming pussy. As I kissed, I gently licked the center of her slit, relishing her taste. Her flavor was different than I expected, sweet but with a slightly bitter taste. She opened up to me, spreading her thighs and pushing her open cunt directly at my lips.

"Oh, my God, yes, . . . ohhh, yes. Put a finger in me, okay? I need something inside me. That's it, ohhhh, yessss!"

I licked my finger to get it wet, and slowly pushed it between her pouty lips. My finger was engulfed in a wonderfully soft, wet, unbelievably slippery tunnel. She was so tight. I could feel the firmness of her cunt under the velvety smoothness of her insides. As I pressed my finger to the roof of her pussy, she let out a soft, yet urgent cry. As her pleasure surrounded my finger, I could feel it growing under my searching tongue. Her wetness now flowed from her, coating my face and hand and dampening the bed sheets. God, she was wet. I had never seen a woman so wet. As I flicked my tongue on her clit, she grabbed my head to guide me home. She would move my head up and down, side to side, following my dancing tongue with her hips. Finally, she made it. With a slight cry, she froze under me. I continued to lick her as my finger pressed inside her. Her contractions were so strong, my finger felt the pressure. I couldn't wait to sink my cock into her tight, sweet pussy. Hope however was not in such a hurry. She had other ideas.

"Come here and take off your pants. I have to taste you. I want to taste you so much. Come on, let me see your cock. Pull it out for me."

I did what she asked. I unzipped my pants and pulled them off. She sat up and took my cock into her small hand. She could barely wrap her fingers around the shaft. She took my balls into her other hand and slowly stroked me to full length.

"Oh, Jack. This is beautiful." She looked into my eyes with a teasing smile and added, "Do you think I can get it all in my mouth?"

I couldn't find the words, so I just nodded. She leaned forward and licked the head directly at my opening. The sensation was incredible. She tugged on my balls, as she darted her tongue at the opening and all over the sensitive tip. She slowly jacked my shaft as she continued to work me over. By now, I was leaking quite a bit of fluid. She would lick it onto her tongue and slowly push the head into her warm mouth. Down she pushed, until half my length was stuffed into her lovely face. She started to suck with a passion. As she worked up and down, her hand would follow, squeezing as she went. Up and down, over and around. Her mouth and tongue were now passionately sucking, and the sight of her pretty face, lipstick smearing across her lips, strands of fluids dripping from her extended tongue, pushed me to the edge. I couldn't imagine how she had learned to give head like this. If she were such a slut, surely I would have heard the rumors. At this point, I didn't care. I felt the pressure growing in my belly, and I let out a cry of warning.

"Oh, God, Hope, I'm going to come! Pull it out if you want."

Hope pulled her mouth off the end of my cock and furiously jacked my shaft. She pulled and pulled, just rough enough to give me the sensations I craved. As I reached the point of no return, I looked down in awe. Hope had extended her tongue, waiting for the eruption. She jerked on my cock, and suddenly it was upon her. The first blast hit the back of her open mouth. The next few spurts sent thick strands of cum all over her lips and cheeks. She popped the head back into her mouth and worked at a feverish pace until I had completely emptied inside her hungry mouth. I was spent. Hope however, was not. She continued to work on my now flaccid dick, twirling it around in her mouth. Several minutes later, I began to rise again. As I stiffened inside her mouth, she eagerly sucked me in, relishing the swelling inside her. Finally, I was hard enough to suit her.

"Okay, Jack. I think you are ready. Are you ready to fuck me? I have thought of fucking you all night. In fact, I have wanted to fuck you for months now. I just never thought you liked redheads."

"God, Hope, are you kidding me? If you wanted me so bad, why didn't you let me know?"

"I guess I am just . . . shy."

Hope smiled at me and showed me how shy she was by pulling her dress over her head. She unsnapped her bra, freeing her breasts from the tight confines. She was smaller than I expected, no more than a small B cup, but her breasts stood firm and high. Her pale pink nipples were sticking straight out, begging for attention. I leaned into her, sucking her nipple into my mouth as she opened her thighs and pulled me on top of her. She reached between her legs and found my cock. Using her hips and hands, she put the head at her entrance and pushed until I was buried deep within her slippery cunt. She let out a low moan as my cock filled her. Her hands squeezed my ass as she wrapped her legs around my waist. She surrounded me completely. I never expected such a wild, uninhibited fuck from this girl. In fact, she was the last one I would have expected to be like this.

"Fuck me, baby," she whispered. "Fuck me sooo hard. Give it to me. Ohhh, yesss . . . . yessss, . . . Ahhh, God, fuck, . . . me."

So I fucked her. I started with long, smooth strokes, settling into a rhythm I was comfortable with. I wanted to impress her with my stamina. I wanted her to beg me to stop. I could tell she had been fucked quite a few times more than I had ever imagined, so now I had something to prove. As I stroked her tight cunt, she panted and squeezed my ass. She worked a finger into my crack, and kissed my neck with abandon. God, she was so hot. I had to think of every trick in the book to keep from losing it into her clenching cunt, but thankfully I held back. She removed her hand from my ass to reach down and rub her clit. I could tell she was ready to come, so I helped her.

"How's this, Hope? Is my cock enough to satisfy you? Tell me how you like to be fucked. Is this it? Or do you need to be fucked . . . hard."

With that I started pounding her tiny pussy. She couldn't speak, she could only grunt and pant into my ear as she rubbed her pussy.

"Oh, oh, I. . . I . . . I'm coming, baby! Don't stop now, keep it up. Oh yeah, . . . now . . . deeper, yes, deeper! God you are so big! Now, baby . . . now!"

With her last breath, she froze again and came. I couldn't stand the lovely sight of her gasping beneath my raging cock and I lost it right there. Before I could even ask if I should pull out, I flooded her cunt with a gallon of fresh cum. It poured from her sloppy pussy as I pulled out after we had finished.

"Oh, God, Jack. Thank you so much. That was . . . beautiful."

Yes it was. And her smiles at me the next day during the wedding ceremony were even more spectacular. I never thought it would happen to me, but it had. I had fallen in love.

Hope and I were married later that same year. Weddings are contagious. She and I were in four other weddings that year. Every time we turned around, someone else was getting married. After our wedding, we moved to Tennessee. Hope started pharmacy school, and I went to work. We didn't see much of each other during the first four years. I was working sixty-hour weeks, while she went to class and studied. Our sex life dwindled from the frantic pace of newlyweds to an average of once a week. When we did make love, we both seemed to have lost the burning passion so evident in our early lustful couplings. However, we were happy together and wrote off the decline in our sex life as just "one of those things". I don't know whose fault it was, but I believed both of us were to blame. We lost our passion during those first four years, and what's worse, we made no attempt to find our love during the next six. Hope went to work, and I continued with the long hours. As the demands of dual careers drove us further apart, we looked elsewhere for the fulfillment we should have provided to each other. I found mine in the pressure environment of my job, while Hope found hers somewhere else. I never expected it to happen, and I certainly never saw it coming. She hid her feelings so well, or maybe I just missed the signs. The pattern had begun, and would continue to haunt us for the next few years.

Eighteen months ago, Hope received a wonderful job opportunity. She and I discussed the prospect, and I agreed that it was too good to pass up. She would be making more than our combined present salaries. I thought that we could get a fresh start, in a new town, away from the pressures that had driven a wedge between us. I still could not see what was happening.

We moved to Colorado in August. Our house looked over the mountain range outside of Denver, in a quiet neighborhood with street lights lining the neat sidewalks, and a Volvo or SUV in every drive. I found a new job, with less pay and less pressure than before, and I now had more free time than ever. As the Rocky Mountain winter began to close in, I noticed more and more how distant my wife had become. She stayed out very late, and took at least one out of town trip each week. Our sporadic sex life began to fade even more. When Hope walked in threatening to quit, she and I had not had sex in two weeks.

This time, Hope surprised us all when she turned in her resignation the next week. She took a job at a small independent pharmacy with a man she had gone to school with in Tennessee. He had moved out to Colorado after graduation, and offered her the job after he found out she was in Denver. She took quite a pay cut, but she promised that we could spend more time together. The winter's cold began to retreat, signaling a change in the environment of our mountain home, as well as a change in the environment of our lives. I did not see the storm front as it approached, although the signs should have been unmistakable.

Spring. A time of new beginnings. Life springs forth from all corners. The winter snows recede, and the white, barren land is replaced with fresh flowers and blooming trees. Winter, however, has not completely given in to spring's eternal march. Professional weathermen and amateur storm chasers love this time of year. It is storm season. Violent clashes in the weather patterns occur as the Arctic's final lunges are met head on with the tropical forces from the Gulf. The atmosphere erupts into a firestorm as the two forces collide. The prudent ones take shelter, knowing the storm must end if only their patience is maintained. As the storm in my life erupted around me, I questioned the very fabric of my life. Could I withstand the onslaught brought on by complacency and a lack of preparedness? Could I possibly recapture the love of a woman who had been neglected too long, lost in the winter of hearts left to melt away? Could I have patience with a betrayal so immense?

Hope was right. We traded the new car in for a used one, and paid off the balance of the loan. We pulled the reins in on our ever-expanding budget, and suddenly the pay cut didn't seem so devastating. For a while our love life improved. Hope was home every night, and we even discussed plans for starting a family. A few weeks later, things began to change again. Hope started working later, and some nights she wouldn't arrive home until after 10:00. She was always tired, and our sex life began to fizzle again. Never one to be predictable, she kept me guessing by coming home once a week or so, turned on as never before, and ready to fuck. She would walk in the door, turn out the lights, and pull me to the floor. She would quickly remove my pants, hike up her skirt, and sit down squarely on my quickly stiffening cock. As she rubbed her panty clad pussy against my naked cock, I could feel her wetness through her soaked panties. She would grind her sex on me, arousing us both, kissing me deeply, before reaching down and pulling her panties to one side. My cock would then slide easily inside her surprisingly wet pussy, and we would fuck like horny teenagers. I couldn't figure out why she could be so hot one day, and cold as ice the next. I couldn't hear the approaching thunder, as the windows of my heart were tightly closed. All these years, I had been missing the key to her eroticism. The clues were always there, and she had not put much effort into hiding them from me. As the storm struck, I was shocked by the suddenness of the fury.

It happened on a Tuesday. Fittingly there was a severe thunderstorm warning in effect for our county, as the western sky took on an ominous hue. Hope arrived home one hour late, and it was one of those crazy days again. I had just finished the evening paper, when she walked in. I immediately recognized the look of lust on her face. Her chest and neck were flushed bright red, and her hair was disheveled. She immediately walked over to me and kissed me. Something about the taste in her mouth concerned me. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but she tasted, different. We kissed passionately as she sat down in my lap. Immediately, she started her usual grind. As I stiffened under her, she stood up to pull my pants off. I caught a glimpse of a small wet spot on my crotch as she pulled my khakis to the floor. God, how could she be that wet?

Hope slightly changed her routine by stopping to give me a blowjob. She usually went directly for the quick fuck, but today, for some reason, she didn't. As the lightning flashed around us, she placed her tongue on the underside of my prick and licked the skin from base to tip, flicking the tip at the small opening on my swelling cockhead. She pumped my shaft as her tongue danced around the head. She bent forward and took the head inside her warm mouth, giving it a firm yet gentle suck. Her cheeks hollowed in as she pulled on me with her talented lips. The sensations were almost too much to bear. As soon as I warned her that I was ready to come, she stopped, leaving me hanging at the edge, release almost but not quite obtainable.

"Oh, come on Hope, don't stop now!" I pleaded with her, placing my hands on her head and trying to pull her back to my throbbing cock.

"Oh, no baby. I don't want you to come in my mouth. You have to fill my little pussy. We can't have a baby if you spill your seed on my tongue, now can we?"

Oh, the little tease. I almost reached down to quickly finish it myself, but I was hers, to do her bidding. She pulled up her skirt, and pushed aside the leg band of her panties as she sat down directly on my throbbing cock. I completely filled her. She was so wet, I could feel her honey spill onto my thighs as she filled herself with my length. She immediately ground her pussy on me, settling into a fast and furious rhythm designed to get us both off as quickly as possible. God, she felt so good. I loved the wet feeling of her hungry cunt as she whispered and pleased with me to fuck her. She came before the tenth plunge into her steaming pussy. As she screamed out her orgasm, I reached down and placed my hand against her pussy. She aided my hand by rubbing it all over her pussy lips as my shaft continued to fill her. She had her head thrown back, and her eyes were tightly closed. Clearly, she was having one of her best orgasms of her life. She seemed to be lost in the moment as she removed my wet hand from her pussy and guided it to my mouth. I opened, and put her fingers in. The taste in my mouth was surprisingly different. And so was the smell. Hope didn't care, she was coming again, and had not opened her eyes a single time. I knew what the taste was, and despite my need for release, I had to find out for sure. Using all of my willpower, I slammed into her pussy for a few more strokes before I pulled her off. I quickly placed her on the floor, and reached under her bucking hips to pull off her panties.

Hope was gone. I had never seen her in a state like this. She put both hands to her pussy and opened herself up impossibly wide. She quickly inserted two fingers and rubbed her clit as she came yet again.

"Eat me, baby. Come on, eat my pussy," she whispered, eyes closed as her hands thrashed her delicate folds. I knelt between her thighs and stared into her open hole. Suddenly, thunder roared around us and the lights flickered once, twice, before going out all together. Darkness descended and entered my eyes to the depths of my soul. In the moment before the lights went out, I had seen what I had feared. The unmistakable sight of thick, white sperm flowed from her messy pussy as her fingers worked their magic. My heart stopped, and I froze.

The loud crash of thunder and the subsequent blackout quickly brought Hope back to her senses. She looked down and pulled my head up from her thighs as she sought to cover up what she feared I had seen. But it was too late.

"Oh, baby, wait! Please, don't do this!" she cried as I leapt to my feet and escaped to the bedroom. My heart was shattered. As I closed the door behind me, I could hear Hope crying. The blackout continued as the storm reached its peak outside. Thankfully, the roar of the wind and heavy rain silenced the broken cries from us both. Before long, the chaos outside diminished, but the recklessness of my wife's behavior had caused far too much structural damage to allow a quick resolution. What little sleep we found that night was taken where we had hidden, I in our room, she on the floor. The stillness of the night was punctuated only by our periodic sobs.

The next morning, I ventured out of my cave to grab a cup of coffee. As I passed through the living room, I noticed Hope lying nude on the floor, asleep. The cum that had destroyed my life remained dried on her pussy. My heart broke as I looked at her. Even now, she was the loveliest sight I had ever witnessed. Her delicate form, so soft and inviting, could not be tarnished, even with the seed of an outsider. I hated to admit it, but I deeply loved her, even at her moment of ultimate betrayal. I took the cup of steaming coffee and sat in my chair staring at her sleeping form.

She awoke an hour later, with a slight start. She caught me staring at her messy pussy, and quickly she covered herself up. She started to get up, but I stopped her.

"Tell me why, Hope. Why did you do this? Do you hate me so much that you had to fuck me with your cunt full of another man's sperm?"

"Oh God, I never intended for you to know. I can't really explain it. I just lost it. I forgot about the . . . you know."

"You came home, full of cum, and you just . . . forgot?" I asked incredulously. "You cheap . . . whore. Damn you for this." My face began to redden and I felt on the verge of losing control. Hope looked at me, and was obviously frightened by my harsh tone.

"Please, let me try to explain. I never meant to hurt you. And I still love you, please believe that. This wasn't about love. It was something, . . . something . . . I can't explain. But let me try. I have to tell you. I have to tell you . . . everything. I guess I did this so I would have to tell you. I couldn't take lying about it anymore. I have never been the person you thought I was."

I took a deep breath and controlled my rage. She sat down on the couch across from me, still naked, with the evidence of her betrayal coating her most intimate place. Something about her vulnerability, sitting there, uncovered and unflinching before my harsh gaze, softened my heart. A little bit of my love for this lady broke through the clouds in my soul. As I nodded to her, she began her tale of love, lust, and deepening obsession.

"You know how I was raised. My daddy was a deeply religious man, and he never missed an opportunity to teach his children the correct and moral thing to do. I feared my daddy as much as I loved him, and I couldn't bear the disappointment on his face whenever I did wrong. I realized at a young age that I was cut from a different cloth than my father. For some reason, I was always drawn to the things he hated the most. But my love for him, and my fear of disappointing him were too strong. I pushed my longings deep inside, and continued to live a life he would be proud of.

"Things changed when I turned sixteen. My father would not permit me to date until I reached sixteen, and I had yet to be kissed by a boy. I had a terrible crush on a boy who was a year ahead of me, and he asked me out to dinner. My father agreed, and I went on my first date. After dinner, he drove out to the country and we parked. I knew what was happening, and the thrill of it was incredible. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me over to him. I kissed my first boy that night, and something inside changed forever. As we petted, he placed his hand between my legs and rubbed my pussy through my jeans. The pleasure I felt was unbelievable. I think I came on the spot. I kept my head, though, and I did not let him take off my pants. He was pretty mad, and called me a tease, and we never went out again.

"I learned a lot of things that night. First, I knew that I had wanted to be fucked that night. No, I needed to be fucked. I went home that night and masturbated thinking how it would feel to have a boy's penis inside of me. My second orgasm was just as fast as my first, and from then on I have been hooked on that wonderful feeling of release.

"The second thing I learned was that some boys will use a girl completely to get what they want. They would do anything they could to fuck you, and toss you aside after it was done. I knew the reputation of several girls who had gone all the way, and I knew I couldn't let that happen. It would kill my father if he ever found out, and our town was so small it would be inevitable. So I learned that I could not allow my weakness to get the better of me. Somehow, I had to find a way out of this trap. I had to be fucked, but I couldn't do it with anyone I knew.

"For a while, I masturbated. That seemed to satisfy me. However, I got closer and closer to the edge each time I went out on a date. One night, I found myself with the boy's dick in my hand, and my shorts and panties around my ankles. The boy was climbing on top of me when I came to my senses and pushed him off. It got scary for a while, as he became very angry with me. I thought that he was going to do me, despite my protests. Finally, he pushed his cock back in his pants and took me home.

"By now, I had quite the reputation for being a tease. The boys I dated, would take their shot and I never allowed anyone to take off my pants again. You see, I finally discovered the way out of my trap. One afternoon, on the way home from school, I had pulled into a gas station for a fill up. At the pump across from me was a handsome guy driving a nice car. He looked to be in his mid-twenties, and when we our eyes met, he smiled at me. Instantly, I could feel my pussy begin to tingle. I felt my face blush, and the guy noticed.

"I smiled back, turning redder still. He asked for my name, and I lied to him. I let my eyes wander down to his crotch, and I noticed the faint outline of his cock. As I stared, I could tell that he was growing harder. Within seconds, the head was pushing out the tight material, and I was lost. I don't remember exactly what happened next, but I pulled my car into a parking space at the gas station, and we climbed into his car. He took me to his apartment, and once inside we started to kiss. We never exchanged a single word, and I never knew his name. I knew what was going to happen to me and although I was deeply ashamed, I was incredibly aroused."

Hope's story was having quite an effect on me. I had never heard any of this before, and I was in shock. Just what was she trying to tell me? Despite my shock, I noticed, rather uncomfortably, that I was beginning to have an erection. I adjusted my seat hoping that she wouldn't notice. At this point, she wouldn't have noticed if I had stripped down and tossed off in front of her. She was lost in the past. As she stared at her hands, she continued to recount her story.

"My body was on fire. I needed to be touched, everywhere, at once. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. And I had no clue what to do next. He solved that problem for me as he took my hand and led me to the bedroom. It was the first time I had been in a guy's bedroom, and my desire, shame, fear, and excitement were pushing me to a level of intense passion that I have yet to find again. As he undressed me, I whispered to him that I had never done this before. He stopped for a brief moment and looked at my naked body. I don't think he believed me at that time, and as I stretched across his bed, he pulled off his clothes and joined me. I stared at his cock. I couldn't resist reaching out and taking it into my hand. As I stroked him, he moaned his approval. We kissed, deeply, passionately for quite some time. This was so different from the boys I had been with before. They were always in such a terrific hurry to get my pants off. Now, we were taking a leisurely tour of each other.

"He released my lips and kissed his way down to my neck, nibbling and licking my skin. My nipples were aching to be touched and my pussy was on fire. I couldn't help myself as I quietly rubbed my slit. His kisses finally reached my breasts, and like before, he lingered deliciously over each one. His tongue made little circles around my peaks, and as he made his way across, he would briefly stop to lick the hard points for a few seconds. Now, it was my turn to be teased, and the feeling was delicious. I could stand no more, so I whispered for him to suck my tits. He lowered his mouth to my nipple, and took it inside. His tongue bathed it and he pulled it with a slight suction. As he sucked on my tit, my finger found my secret spot and I came.

"As I settled down, he released his hold on my breast, and slowly descended down my belly. I pushed him by his shoulders until he was directly between my open thighs. I was about to be eaten for the first time, and I couldn't wait. I whispered one word, 'please' as he lowered his lips to my pussy. He kissed me softly, gently, opening me like a flower. He nestled his face into my dampness and licked at my core. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. The sensations of a mouth, tongue, and fingers exploring my insides were so much better than any thing my lonely finger could produce. I came again, almost violently this time, the contractions ripping through my body. I cried out helplessly as he continued to drink the moisture that was flowing from my cunt. Finally, it was time. Time for me to know what I had only imagined. Time to become a woman."

As she spoke, her hand that was covering herself, began to slowly move. As the story unfolded, she pressed her hand into her pussy, and her finger slowly massaged her clit. I don't think she was even conscience of it, she was truly going back in her mind to the day she lost her virginity. And she had not lost it to her boyfriend her senior year as she had told me. She had fucked a total stranger. The shock of the revelation up to now, and the fear of what was yet to come was the only thing stopping me from fucking her right now. Damn her, I was getting far too aroused to think straight. But I couldn't have stopped her if I tried. The truth of our love was finally arriving, and come hell or high water, it was coming fast.

"He moved up and opened me with his legs. His strong hands reached down, under my hips, and tilted my cunt to the proper angle. He took his cock and stroked it along my slit, wetting it, teasing me, until he was ready to take me. I closed my eyes, not knowing what to expect. Would it hurt? Would it be as wonderful as I hoped? The answer was upon me as he placed the head at my opening and slowly pushed his way inside. I could feel his cock filling me, spreading the tight walls. Suddenly, he felt the resistance I had warned him about. He stopped, and looked at me again.

'You're a . . . virgin?' he asked.

'I told you I was'

'But, I just picked you up at a gas station, and . . . you've never done this before?'

'No. But please don't stop. I'm ready. I want it. I do.'

"He looked down at his cock sticking out of my pussy, and then he pushed until his path was clear. He was inside. All the way. Although I felt a quick, sharp pain, I quickly found the new sensations to be as wonderful as I had dared to hope. He was slowly fucking me, watching his shaft appear and disappear inside me. He reached down and stroked my clit as he continued his powerful thrusts. He was so gentle with me, so tender. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had been taken by one of those boys. I wonder if I would have gotten so far off track if only . . ."

She hesitated. Slowly she removed her hands from her pussy and sighed. If only, what? What was it? My mind was taking all this in, but I didn't understand the significance of that statement. Soon it would be all too clear. Hope's path through time to this moment was being played out before me, in excruciating detail.

"He continued to fuck me for hours. We did it many ways, and he taught me many things. By the time I left his apartment that night, I had even tasted my first cock. He showed me how to suck a cock, and I swallowed every drop of his cum to show him how much I had learned. The slut inside of me was born that afternoon. I had taken my first step on the path of destruction that has led us here. But, there is still more to my story. Much more, and . . . well, it gets worse."

She looked up and our eyes locked. Her voice was slightly shaking as she asked, "Do you want to hear it?"

What else could I say? I slowly nodded, and she continued.

"I thought I had figured a way out of my trap. I would continue to tease the boys I'd date, and I would go out to fuck complete strangers to satisfy my needs. To my delight, the plan seemed to work. I think I picked up five other men that year, fucking each one with an intensity I could not have believed. There was something about living this double life that appealed to me. I was just as bad, if not worse, than the 'bad' girls at my school, but me and my friends continued to look down on them, and my reputation as a little tease who never did anything continued. It was a role I loved to play. I would get my dates and myself so hot, only to cut them off at the last possible moment. Then I would go out the next day and pick up a total stranger and get fucked so hard. I did start to date one boy my senior year who I liked quite a bit. In fact, you could say that it was my first love. His name was Eric. I told you about him. I lied to him, and to you, about being a virgin when I met him. I let him fuck me one night in the backseat of his car, but I was so disappointed I almost cried. I couldn't come, and I was barely even aroused. Like the typical high school boy, he could have cared less about my satisfaction. All he wanted to do was stick it in me and come. He never kissed my pussy, and he always came within a minute of entering me. I loved him though, and we stayed together until my sophomore year at college.

"After Eric asked me to go steady, I vowed to be a good girlfriend. I stopped picking up strangers. I made love only to him, until one night midway through my sophomore year. Eric and I had gone to the same college, and all our friends assumed that we would marry. I thought I loved him, and that our sex life would get better, but it didn't. Something was missing that I couldn't quite place. I never came with him, not one time. He learned to be a more patient lover, and I am certain that the fault wasn't his. Something in my heart needed more. One night as I walked back from the library, I found out what it was.

"I had stopped at the cafeteria to get a snack. Ahead of me was a guy that I knew from science class. He was very cute, and suddenly I felt the old familiar tingle in my pussy. I wanted him. I wanted him to fuck me. I wanted him to fuck me right then and there. I walked up to him and deliberately leaned against him, reaching for a muffin. My breasts rubbed against his arm, and he looked at me with a fire in his eyes. We exchanged hellos, and he asked me to sit with him. I did. After we finished eating, I came right out and asked him if I could go to his room. We left, hand in hand, and as soon as we walked inside, we began to kiss. He quickly removed my clothes and I removed his. We almost fell over several times, as the haste in our actions increased. I fell to my knees and sucked his cock into my hungry mouth. The fire was back. The forbidden lust, coupled with the shame I felt by betraying Eric caused my pussy to literally ache. My free hand caressed my tender pussy as he shoved his massive cock down my throat. He literally screamed as he erupted in my mouth. As I swallowed his sperm, I thought about Eric. My heart broke as I realized what I was doing but I couldn't stop. I told myself that he would never know as I continued to coax the soft cock back to life. Thankfully, it didn't take long, and soon I had his cock buried deep in my pussy.

"He had placed me on my knees, leaning in to eat me out from behind. As his hands caressed my ass and his tongue probed my pussy, I too began to cry out. Up until now, I had always remained almost quiet during sex, but hearing his unashamed scream of passion as he flooded my mouth opened my mind to the wonderful side of loud, dirty talk. I begged him to eat my pussy, almost screaming the obscenities. God I was so hot. I came with a hard, quick climax, unlike the slow, steady climb to orgasm I normally had. I felt so bad, so, . . . dirty.

"Suddenly, I felt the massive head push into my pussy. I almost fell onto my stomach as he pounded me. He fucked me so hard, almost with a hidden anger. I reached under me to feel him moving inside me, and my touch combined with his nasty talk caused me to come once again. By now we were both screaming at each other, saying terrible, nasty things. As he came I shouted out 'Oh God, come in my pussy. That's it, fuck me. Oh yeah, I'm coming!' As his sperm dripped from my pussy, I quickly got up and put on my clothes. He lay there watching me. As I walked out, he said, 'Nice fuck.' That was all. As I walked down the hall, every guy there was watching me leave. Several had been right outside the door listening to us fuck. I was deeply embarrassed, but also proud that I could stir up so many guys. The only problem was that Eric knew several of them. He found out about the affair the next day and he broke up with me. He has never spoken to me since that day.

"I transferred to another school the next year. I had been too careless, and I lost my boyfriend and my reputation in the same night. I wanted to start over."

She had told me about her breakup with Eric before. That was why she had transferred to Tech, she had explained. Obviously, she had left out a large part of the story. But now, she was coming clean. Whether it was for her benefit, or mine, I don't know. I thought I could see where the story was heading, but the shock in store for me was completely unexpected. Although betrayal had been a part of her past and now part of ours as well, I still could not fathom the immensity of the destruction she had wrought to our marriage.

"When I entered Tech, I vowed not to let the same mistakes happen again. I didn't want a steady boyfriend, and I longed for the days when I was seen as a pure, but not quite wholesome, tease. I fell back into the behavior pattern I had started in high school. I would date some guys, and get them all worked up, then break it off. I never slept with one guy at Tech. I would go out at night, and drive to the other side of town. There I would pick out a nice suburban bar, and pick up a married man for a quick night of passion. I would go out about once a week, and I never fucked the same guy twice. My reputation at Tech was assured, and I had the sex I needed. For a while, things were great.

"Then, one Friday afternoon, I had gone to the beauty shop to get my nails done. It was the night of the senior formal. I had a date with a guy who I liked as a friend, and this would be our first date. I had no intentions of sleeping with him, but I did intend to tease him mercilessly. As I left the beauty shop, I was walking down the street when I bumped into the guy with whom I had cheated on Eric with. Turns out his little brother played football for Tech, and he was in town to watch him play. He asked what had happened to me, and I explained it all. To his credit, I think he was actually sorry for me, but when he hugged me, I could feel his erection. The tingle was back, and I had to fuck him again. I took him down the street and we moved behind some boxes in an alleyway. He turned me around, and pulled up my skirt. I pulled my panties off, and he quickly stuck his cock deep inside. Since we were outside, neither of us screamed as before, but I came just as hard. It was amazing. He shot his load deep inside, filling me completely. As I pulled up my panties, I could feel my cunt squishing as I moved. Something about that feeling stirred me in a new direction. We kissed as I said goodbye, and he asked if he could see me again. I shook my head no, and walked off, briefly pausing to say 'Nice fuck' with a sly smile.

"When I arrived back in my dorm room, I went to the bathroom to clean up. As I looked at my soaked panties, I had a new idea. I would go out on my date with a pussy full of cum. I was so turned on that night. Attempting to keep my date's hands off me had a new thrill to it. The seat of my dress was wet from the cum leaking out of me. The feeling of wetness between my thighs made me so hot that I had to excuse myself to the restroom.

"As I sat down in the stall, I pulled my panties off and immediately stuck my finger in my messy pussy. I quickly rubbed myself to orgasm, moaning slightly as I came. I stuck the sperm covered finger in my mouth and sucked it clean. As soon as I returned to the table, something took over my mind and I leaned forward to give my date a long, lingering, soul kiss. His tongue explored my mouth, and I almost came thinking that I had just put another's cum in my mouth right before I kissed him.

"After the dance, we made out in his room. I let him squeeze my tits, and I even let him run his hands up my dress to feel my wet thighs. He couldn't believe how wet I was, and even commented that he had never seen a girl so wet before. I let him rub my pussy through the soaked panties, relishing the thought of the cum still inside. Finally, I pulled his hand away, and explained that I never had sex on a first date. He laughed and said, yeah I heard that about you. We kissed as we said goodnight, and although we never dated again, we remained good friends.

"I was getting deeper and deeper into my little games of slut and tease. Now, before every date, I would go out and fuck some guy, and take his cum with me on my date. The thrill and risk of it is what got me so hot. By now, I was totally out of control. I found myself in several bad situations. Mostly with the guys I would pick up, but a few times with my dates. One guy even threw me onto his bed and pulled his cock out. He told me he was going to fuck me, and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I was terrified. He jumped on top of me and tried to ram his hand into my pussy. I screamed out 'Stop!' directly into his ear, and that stopped him. I got up and left with him yelling obscenities at me.

"Then came the wedding and I met you."

She stopped and looked at me. I will never forget that look. Something in her eyes told me that the betrayal I had discovered was only the tip of the iceberg, one containing the secrets that could doom my marriage. Maybe I should have stopped her. I know she wanted me to. She stared at me in silence. The tension was so thick I had broken out in a nervous sweat. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my hands trembled.

"Tell me, Hope. Tell me everything."

"What do you remember about the first night we made love?"

"Well, I remember being surprised at how hot you were. I had heard the rumors about you being a tease, and everyone said that you never went all the way. So I didn't know when you would cut me off. And when you didn't, and I fucked you that night, well . . . I was shocked."

"What else? What do you remember about my body?"

"Only that you had the loveliest body I had ever seen. You still do. And that your pussy was unusually wet."

Suddenly, I realized what she was trying to tell me. I gasped, "No. Please tell me no. Tell me that I didn't . . . eat you . . ."

She nodded.

"Oh God. Hope. Why?"

"It was what I did. That was how I got off. That night, I intended to tease you just like all the rest. However, something about you attracted me as never before. As the night went on, I thought about you. I thought that you could be just the right guy for me. Suddenly, I was confused. I didn't know what to do. By now, I was so trapped in my screwed up world, that I wouldn't even consider not getting fucked before a date. So I picked up one of the male dancers at the club where we went. I slipped him a note rolled inside a twenty, asking him to meet me in the parking lot in fifteen minutes. I told the rest of the girls that I had to go, and slipped outside. He fucked me from behind, with my panties at my ankles and that dress pulled up around my waist. As I pulled up my panties, I thought about you. What if things got out of hand, and you discovered my secret? Although I had been fucked with a nice sized and very skillful cock, I hadn't come. I couldn't figure out why. As I drove to the hotel for our date, I realized that I wanted to fuck you, not the stripper, not some stranger. Just you. As I walked in the hotel, I went to the restroom to try to clean up, but my pussy and panties were just too wet. I did get out most of his cum, I think. And that night, I fucked you, and for the first time, I came with one of my dates. Not some stranger.

"From then on, I turned over a new leaf. I stopped picking up guys. I only fucked you, and you were wonderful. No one had ever made me come like you could. And I fell in love with you. But my old hang-ups about sex were still inside me. Occasionally they would surface, and I would fight to keep them down. As you and I began to drift apart, I would find myself losing that fight, a little more each day. Then, one day, I slipped. A man at the bookstore shamelessly flirted with me, and before I knew it, we were at a motel. He fucked me so good, and I came so hard, that I started falling back into the same old routine. Only this time, it was different. I couldn't leave with a pussy full of cum. I had to clean myself up so you wouldn't notice. Each time, I would come home and fuck you. It reminded me of our first night, and in some sick part of my mind I felt I loved you just as much as I did that night. I couldn't comprehend how hurt you would be if you found out, I only knew how hot I was when you made love to me just hours after I had been fucked. Baby, are you all right?"

I had begun to cry. My heart was completely broken. Our marriage had started as a sham, and now it was over. How could someone who claimed to love me do these things? How could I ever get over her? Part of me had to hear her out, so I wiped away the tear and lied to her.

"I'm okay. Go ahead, let's get this over with."

Hope reached out and held my hands as she continued. I could tell that she was relieved to be getting this out into the open. The secrets inside her had been killing her, just as their revelation was killing me.

"I decided to try to start over again after I let my boss fuck me one afternoon. I hated Bob, but I thought he would go easier on me if I let him fuck me. I did him in his office, and it wasn't any good at all. He had a tiny little dick, and couldn't satisfy me one bit. When my work situation didn't improve despite the sex, I knew I had made a terrible mistake. My marriage was in peril, because I had broken my rule and fucked someone who knew you. That's when I decided to quit. That's why I wanted to move. I wanted to try and start over again. I vowed that this time, I would be faithful to you.

"At first I was, but the alienation I felt kept coming back. I found it harder and harder to come when we made love. And you seemed to enjoy me so much after I had fucked another guy, that I decided it was in our best interest if I started doing it again. I would stop at a bar on the way home and fuck some guy in the restroom, or parking lot. By now, I insisted that they wear rubbers, so you couldn't tell. One night, I got careless. I picked up a guy and he took me to a motel. When we got there, I had no condoms, but I was too turned on to stop. He was incredible. He must have fucked me for an hour. I came three times, and when he filled me with his cum, it felt so good. The memories of my old dates, with the wetness flowing from me were too much. I left for home full of his come.

"I got home and couldn't resist the danger and thrill of fucking with his cum still inside. You were home, and I immediately jumped you. I was so hot, I had to feel you inside of me, but I couldn't risk letting you touch or kiss my pussy until you had filled me yourself. The feeling of your cock moving inside of me, knowing that it was coated with sperm, was incredible, and I came just thinking about it. You helped me get away with it by filling me yourself. As I cleaned myself out afterwards, I would wonder whose cum was whose. I would even taste a few dabs to see if I could tell a difference.

"You see, I kept taking more and more risks. I needed the risk, and the shame, and the guilt in order to come the way I needed to. It isn't you. It's me. I have been this way all along, and I have been living a lie. Taking the stupid risk of fucking you while I carried another's sperm was my last desperate attempt to get out. I guess I wanted you to find out, and last night you did. I am so sorry, and I don't know what to say. I never meant to hurt you, I was just trying to keep myself together. Well, that's it."

I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to do. There she sat, naked, used, and utterly oblivious to the pain she had caused me. She knew she had been caught, and for that she was sorry. The deliberate acts of her wanton lust, performed solely for her intense orgasms, were unimaginable. But God help me, I wanted her. I wanted to fuck her. As revenge, or something else, I don't know. But the sight of her, naked and obviously aroused, was more than I could take. I stood up and took her in my arms.

She was obviously surprised at first, but she warmed up fast. As her mouth devoured mine, she pulled my shorts off and circled her hand around my cock. She roughly stroked it, pulling firmly and quickly, as our tongues fought. This would be a coupling not of love, but of pure animal lust. I recognized the look in her eyes, the same look she had last night as she opened her wet cunt for me to see. I now wanted to feel what had driven her to the brink of madness. As my hand cupped her cunt, I felt it inside of me. A different longing, one borne from the knowledge that I had been terribly wronged and used. I felt ashamed that I could possibly want to fuck a woman who had brought me to the altar with reckless lies. And I felt guilt. Guilt that I had somehow been the one at fault. I should have satisfied her more. I should have figured out her needs, and made every effort to fulfill them. From the shame and guilt rose my passion, and the feeling of desire was overwhelming. I pushed Hope back to the floor, and positioned myself between her wide-open thighs. In my mind, I saw the replay from last night, and just as before she closed her eyes, and spread her pussy lips apart, opening herself to me.

"Please, eat me. Kiss my pussy, baby."

God help me, I did just that. I closed my eyes and leaned into her beautiful pussy. I kissed her tentatively at first, frightened of what I was doing. I could feel my cheeks burning with shame as I placed the tip of my tongue to her wet pussy and tasted her. Over and over, I licked at her small, tight opening. I pushed my tongue inside, tasting the flavor of my wife and her lover. I hated what I was doing, but I was powerless to stop. I still loved her. Despite all, I still cared.

A new urge began to form, and I rose from her steaming pussy to look at her. She was smiling at me, lost in lust, thinking the worst was over. She had won, and I had erased the evidence of her betrayal with my loving kisses. As I moved to her face, she thrust her tongue into my mouth, longing to taste herself, to know what I had discovered. I aimed my prick at her open hole and plunged in. Her body shook with the force of my invasion, and she cried out a little, but I didn't care. I started stroking her with long, powerful strokes. I told her she was a slut, and I was going to fuck her good for that. She cried out yes, oh yes each time. I pounded her delicate pussy, relishing the sound of my skin slapping her legs and ass. I needed more, so I pulled her legs over my shoulders and let her have it. Her eyes were now tightly closed as she took the barrage. Her finger found her clit, and with a few carefully applied touches, she began to come. She cried out, announcing her delight at reaching her peak, and I could feel her pussy twitching around my swollen shaft. Why did I have to love her so? Why did she have such power over me? Even now, in this most submissive of positions, with my cock ramming into her tight cunt, she was still in command. Of my cock, my heart, and my soul. As I came I cried out that I loved her, I loved her so. Over and over, I said the words, until I collapsed on top of her.

Summer. A time of growth. The new life of spring has now reached the slow even growth necessary to ensure survival. The new animals are learning the ways of the cruel world around them. Some will not survive. The weak will be harvested in favor of the strong, and the circle of life continues. The summer heat has descended upon the land, and Canadian cold has retreated. The battle has ended. Opportunity abounds. The ones that will survive the new season must ensure that the opportunities are taken. Can I grasp the opportunities that lie ahead? Or have I been blinded by the storm that exploded in my midst? Could I find the way out of the oppressive heat characterizing my living hell?

I left her that night. After I had fucked her, I got up, packed my bags, kissed her, and left. I loved her that much was certain. But I couldn't live with her betrayal. I had never known the woman I had married, and I didn't know if I ever would. Right now, I had to be alone. Hope begged me not to go, but I told her no.

One month later, I served her with divorce papers. I had made up my mind. It was over. She called, but I would not answer. She did not contest the divorce, and three months later, society recognized what I had already known. Our union was dissolved. She moved back to Tennessee, and I stayed in Colorado. As time went by, I would receive the occasional card from her, asking how I was. Hope had found a therapist, and she claimed that she was putting the demons that had plagued her to rest. Good for her. Too late for me. I didn't date and I spent my time at work, or in the woods. Colorado is such a lovely place. Beauty and majesty abound. The mountains cast their magical spell upon me and my broken soul began to mend. Like the peaks rising above me, I allowed myself to look up, and as I did I was struck with the beauty of life. I loved her, of course. I still do. I guess that I always will. That is my curse, and my salvation.

As the winter snows fell, her cards disappeared. I never wrote her back, nor returned any of her calls. I guess she finally quit. I spent the winter in hibernation. Away from friends, away from anything that reminded me of her. As winters freeze deepened around me, my cold hatred of what she had done began to thaw. As the first hint of spring approached, I found myself checking airfare to Nashville.

The change of the seasons again brought a change in my heart. The warm spring breeze awakened me from my self-imposed isolation. I left the cave of my mountain home just as the life surrounding me erupted in full bloom. As spring moved to summer, the snow pack retreated from the mountain peaks, and the lure of the high country again worked its magic. As I tightened the laces of my boots and adjusted the straps on my pack, I felt the thrill that had been quietly missing during the past year. I stepped out of my truck and onto the path of salvation.

I was home. Home in the mountains I so loved. The spirit of the Rockies has always had a fix on my soul. I feel closer to, something. I stepped onto the trail leading into the forest of spruce and fir, and began my journey. There are many wonderful trails in Rocky Mountain National Park. I have found that each one has it's own distinct personality, its unique feel. If you need to push yourself, to test your endurance, the trail to Long's Peak will leave you fully satisfied. Stepping through the Keyhole gives you a perception of the risks we take to satisfy our souls. A stone memorial to a fallen climber tests your commitment, while the sweeping views justify your perseverance. The short walk through the Narrows, with its sharp drop from its precipitous edge, tests your nerve, but the satisfaction of reaching the summit rewards your soul with the recognition of a job well done.

For quiet contemplation, and sheer enjoyment of God's creation, the Chapin Creek trail is my personal choice. I found myself here, experiencing the thrill of the dense forest of spruce and fir as I began my trek. Memories came flooding back, as I remembered the first time I had set foot on this trail. Hope and I had hiked to the top of Mt. Chapin together, each of us receiving our first dose of the mountain's splendor. As I moved through the slight valley before the ascent through the treeline, the visions of that trip danced before my eyes. Hope had been especially playful on that hike. She was also affected deeply by the beauty of the surroundings. As we walked, she made playful grabs at my ass as I turned and chased her down the trail. We fell, laughing at this very spot. Our laughter quickly turned to passion as we tossed off our day packs, parkas, and hiking shorts. We made love on the blanket of my coat, her legs wrapped around me and her face to the heavens. We emerged from our embrace to see a small herd of mule deer fifty feet away, watching us intently. My vision faded as a sound reached my ears. Then, just as before, two deer crossed the trail ahead. My heart stirred as I considered the meaning. Was this a sign?

I continued the hike, determined to make the summit. A few hours later, after a brief scramble across the boulder field, I was there. The horizon stretched out in front of me, offering seventy-mile views clear into Wyoming. I walked to the edge and looked around, waiting for a sign from God. He answered with silence. But silence was what I sought. And silence was what I found. The silence of a heart no longer breaking.

As I placed the keys in the ignition and started the engine, I felt a new peace. The cassette in the dash proclaimed the prophetic words:

"Who keeps on trusting you, when you've been cheatin'
Spending your nights on the town.
Who keeps on saying, that he still wants you,
When you're through running around.
And who keeps on loving you, when you've been lying,
Saying things aren't what they mean.

Well God does, but I don't
God will, but I won't
And that's the difference between God and me."

There was once a time that Mr. Lovett's words were my mantra. Now, it seemed that God might be right after all. As I opened the mailbox back home, the restoration of my soul became complete. There, in the mailbox, sat a single picture postcard. The card was addressed to me, carefully typed. There was no inscription, no return address. The picture was the unmistakable silhouette of Mts. Chapin, Chiquita, and Ypsilon. The postmark was Nashville, Tennessee. Airfares aren't that expensive after all.

Twenty-four hours later, I stood at her door, heart in my throat, hand on the buzzer. I had my future literally at my fingertips. God was right, after all.

THE END

Thank you for reading my story.  Please take a few moments to send any comments you may have about the story.  Your comments are completely anonymous, unless you choose to include your email address.  If you include your email address, I'll send you a personal reply as soon as I can.  Your input will help me continue to write the type of stories you want.  Thanks!