ONCE UPON A TIME there were these two Zen monks walking down the road. The first one stops, bends over, and picks up a stone.

"The problem with this stone is," he says, "it never has to eat or sleep. It is free to *be*, to simply *be.* We should enjoy such a life, ah?"

The second monk then grabs the stone and throws it as far he can. In the air, the stone transforms into a bird, and flies away. The second monk smirks. "There." he says to the first monk. "Satisfied?"

"Oh, hell," the first monk says. "If I'd know you were gonna do miracles and shit today, I woulda broken your arm before we left."