Jen sprawled out on her bed to study her philosophy. Soft music, check, lots of air going through the room, check, comfortable setting…well, maybe I have that. I’m still really nervous about whether I can get this concept, she thought. Just like everything else here. It’s so different from home. I don’t get college. I don’t get the drinking or the parties or the clothes or the attitude. She sighed, staring morosely at her book. I’m never going to get this, she thought. Never going to get any of it. So much for the best years of my life. I’ll be a recluse in my room, failing my courses. 

She jumped as someone cleared his throat. “Excuse me…but we were in orientation together, right?” A young man with an uncertain smile leaned against her open door. “You’re Jennifer Mason?” 

She sat up a little, conscious of the ketchup stain on her t-shirt from lunch. She hadn’t bothered to change, thinking she would be alone to study. “Yeah, that’s me. But…” She left the word hanging helplessly. 

He’s really cute, she thought. I love his eyes, they’re really dark and he’s got gorgeous eyelashes. And he’s got that tousled look, like he just got up from a nap. He still has that unfinished look so many men in their late teens get…but in a couple of years he’s going to be really built, if he doesn’t gain a lot of weight. But I don’t remember him from orientation! 

He grinned, taking another step forward into the room. “But you can’t remember my name or anything.” She blushed, and he hastened to reassure her. “It’s OK, really! We were running around all over the place that week. I don’t blame you if you were paying more attention to where the health center is than to the others in the group. I mean, it was pretty hectic.” He paused, then went on when she kept blushing. “I’m Brad…and we also have biology together.” 

She managed a smile at that. “You mean the three-hundred-person-you’re-a-number class?” At least I have an excuse there! she thought fiercely. I can barely see the faces of the people on the end of my row! 

He grimaced. “That’s the one. I was warned about stuff like that, but, you know. Until you actually see three hundred people in one place, and the professor doing everything on a screen because otherwise no one could ever see, you don’t believe it. I was wondering if you had a copy of the syllabus?” 

She nodded, sliding off the bed and crossing the tiny room in two steps. “Did you miss getting yours?” she asked, trying to make conversation. 

“You won’t believe this.” He held up a bedraggled notebook. “My roommate spilled coffee all over everything. Most of what got nailed was his, but, you know, some of it was on the floor and my notebook was in the way. I can’t read a thing in there.” 

Jen rolled her eyes. “That’s why I got my own room,” she said. “Safer that way.” 

He shrugged. “He’s not so bad. He thinks he’s all tough, but I’ve already seen him cry once since we’ve been here…and that’s not counting everything that happened in high school.” 

Jen paused. Do I dare ask him? she asked herself. Another internal voice hissed back at her to take a risk. “Do you need the class notes? I mean, I have them. It looks like that notebook is history.” 

“Biology,” he corrected. When she didn’t laugh, he shook his head. “OK, that joke was lame. But if you don’t mind, it would save me a lot of time. Could I borrow it and photocopy?” She couldn’t help but smile at him. He was trying to sound so casual, but six weeks into the semester was a lot of notes to reconstruct and they both knew it. 

Jen was halfway through lunch when she heard a guy calling her name. She looked up from her salad and grinned as she spotted Brad heading toward her from across the room. The tawny-haired junior had been her friend almost since orientation of their freshman year. Jen scooted over to make room for him, shoving her backpack to the floor by her feet. “What's going on?” she greeted Brad. “You look like you've got a lot on your mind.”

Brad nodded as he slid in next to her at the table. "I do. I just got the syllabus for Psych 362, and I really don't know how I'm going to handle part of it." 

Jen tossed her strawberry blonde hair back  over her shoulder. "I've heard rumors about that class. It's supposed to be a real bitch."

He nodded wryly, green eyes dark. "It will be. And I have to come up with an experiment. And videotape it."

Jen winced. "Ouch. Well, you're the psych major, you signed up for this."

"Don't remind me." Brad rolled his eyes. He finally slid his backpack to the floor, almost as an afterthought. That alone told Jen there was more to this than met the eye. Normally, Brad threw his backpack off the moment he could. Her own blue eyes narrowed a little.

"Do you have anything in  mind?" She nibbled on a tomato, watching him, then nodded. "You do have something in mind, and it involves me. You look just the same as you did when you tried to rope me into pledging that service org."

Brad laughed. "Hey, you liked it until they started asking for money." He sobered fairly quickly. "But yeah, I do have something, and yeah, it involves you. I've been reading..."

She held up a hand. "Whoa! Halt! Stop right there. You've been reading. And CNN hasn't picked up on this?"

"Ha, ha," he grunted sourly. "Thanks a lot. Seriously. I've been reading and I think I know what I want to do. The only catch is, you have to be willing to do it and I'm not sure you would be."

"If it involves mice or shocks, I'm not interested," she warned.

"It won't. It involves a little bit of directed relaxation, a little bit of suggestibility testing, a little bit of visualization..."

Jen put down her fork. "Brad Suzman. You're talking about hypnotizing me!"

Brad went immediately into his Monty Python impression. "Oh, no, no, no, no...yes. A bit. A bit."

She shook her head. "You've gotta be nuts. There's no way anyone could hypnotize me. And can the Eric Idle bit, it's not distracting me this time."

Brad bit his lip, abandoning all pretense of lightening the mood. "Sorry, Jen. Please. I can't come up with anything else, and if I don't get started on this soon, I won't be able to get a good series of tapes. You're the only one I trust enough to try this with."

Jen chuckled dryly. "Isn't it *my* trust that's important?" She immediately saw the hurt in his eyes, realized that comment had backfired, and shook her head. "I didn't mean it like that. I trust you, Brad. It's just...I've never been into mind games. I don't even like campus club politics."

He quickly mirrored her headshake. "It's not like that, Jen. It's just like...like doing a writing exercise in freshman lit. You know. The ones where we all close our eyes and try not to drift off to sleep. Seriously." 

She lifted an eyebrow. "Uh. Huh. And how long have you been doing this?"

He blushed. "I haven't. But I know the theory...I was reading books over the summer to prove a point about a movie to my brother."

Jen sighed. "All right. All right. I'll try to help you out. I just don't think I can do anything with this. Really."

Brad brightened up immediately. "Just try, that's all I ask. I mean, if I can't do it, that's a valid experimental result too."

She nodded slowly, acknowledging the truth of that. "OK, when do we start?"
Brad hmmed. "Give me a week to get the design down, and then we'll try it? I want to get a few things as well."

Jen stabbed her fork back into a tomato. "You're on. Maybe I'll get some sense in a week."

He pulled out the focal point. She laughed a little, looking at it. It was an Austrian lead crystal, facets catching the afternoon light and casting rainbows all over the room. It's a nice stone, very pretty, she thought. Still...!

He looked a little injured at first by her laughter. "What? Don't you like it? I'm going to keep it after the project. I like what it does for the room."

She crossed her arms over her chest, raising a skeptical eyebrow. "Isn't this a little stereotypical?"

He grinned at her, holding up the crystal. "Oh, that! Sure it is. The point of the project...oh, well. I can't tell you what it is. It might prejudice you. It's just to help out. If you want to back out...?"

She knew he was manipulating her there, but her pride was too strong. "Of course not. I'm not sure you can do it anyway. And I still don't think your professor approved it, with you being just a junior. But if you want to try it, hey, be my guest. I've always been told I was too stubborn for this."

He laughed easily. She was slightly taken aback by it. "That's what makes you so perfect, Jen. If I can do it with you, I can do it with anyone. Besides...I know you're curious. If you weren't, you'd have turned me down outright. Maybe you won't fight me as hard as you think you will."

"I'm not going to fight you at all," she complained. "I just want to help you with your project, Brad. That's all. You're making this into some kind of adversarial thing. It's not what I had in mind."

Brad looked contrite, coming to put his arm around your shoulder. "I was only teasin', Jen."
  
She crossed her arms again, still annoyed. Brad gently slipped a hand under her forearms, uncrossing them. "C'mon, open posture," he coaxed. "I'm sorry, I was only teasing. I'll try to be more sensitive, OK?" 

Jen nodded reluctantly, letting him move her around. "Fine. Just fine." She took a deep breath. "Sorry if I'm being oversensitive."

He shook his head. "You're not, I was being insensitive. Let me make it up to you?"

Warm hands began to massage her shoulders. She sighed, letting her head flop forward. "Damn, you're good at that. OK, OK. Peace. When are you going to put the whammy on me?"

Brad laughed. "No whammy. I promise. It doesn't work that way, Jen." 

She groaned as his thumbs found a tense spot. "I give you till next year to stop that," she murmured. "I mean it."

He mmmed and commented "You have been really tense. You don't need that tension, Jen. It's not good for you. Just let go of it and let me massage you for a bit, OK? Then we can start really working on this."

Jen nodded a little, just enough to let him know how she felt without moving his hands. "You do that. I need this."

"You need this," Brad echoed softly. "Yes, I can tell you do. It's in your poor tense muscles. Let it go, Jen. Let it go. Peace."

She took a deep breath and nodded again. Her shoulders dropped and he gave her a little extra squeeze. "Oh, yeah, that's it. That's the way to go. Relax and let it all flow, Jen. Relax and unwind. I promise you'll feel much better."

Brad continued to work on her shoulders for about ten minutes. Jen finally said "OK, if you don't do something with this project soon, we're not going to get it done tonight." Her voice sounded a little distant, and she shook herself slightly as Brad squeezed her shoulders and stood up.
 He crossed the room and picked up the crystal again. "This will be your focal point, Jen." He reached over and turned on the video recorder, giving the date and the time. "This is session number one for female subject one. Please give your name and borth date for the camera." 

Jen felt a little silly, but nodded. "This is Jennifer Altman, age 21, junior at Western Appalachian University." She looked up at him uncertainly, but he nodded smoothly.

"Do you agree to be hypnotized on camera for the purposes of this research project, Jennifer?"

She nodded again. "I do agree to that. I have no objections."

Brad smiled at her warmly. "Good enough. This crystal will be your focal point, Jen. What I want you to do is get comfortable for me now. If anything feels tight, loosen it. If you need to change position, do it. Get as comfortable as you can."

Jen shifted slightly in the big easy chair. She slipped her shoes off, stretching her legs, then nodded. "Ready." 

Brad pulled up a chair in front of her and held up the faceted crystal. "Just look at it, Jen. You don't have to stare. Just look with your eyes relaxed, kind of like you find yourself watching something when you've been daydreaming. This is going to be a lot like a daydream, you know. Just like when you're in class and you realize you've lost track of time." His voice was calm and quiet. "You've felt that before, haven't you? That easy,

Jen looked at the crystal, studying it. It was turning slightly, the facets catching the afternoon light as it came in through the window. "I've felt that before, yeah..."

"Of course, we all have," Brad affirmed. "We've all had times when we daydreamed off. Right now, I want you to think about a time you felt that feeling. It doesn't matter when. Just watch the crystal and think of that time, Jen. Let your gaze rest on the crystal. It's so pretty, and it does remind you of that time a little as you watch it lazily turning. It sparkles in the sun, and you can remember that pleasant, lazy, dreamy feeling..."

Jen found her memory drifting back to a day she'd been lying on her bed, reading a book. She remembered looking up and out the window, watching the clouds pass. The day had been windy, but the clouds were moving slowly. She realized with a start that she was losing focus on the dangling crystal, but Brad kept talking.

"It's all right to let your mind wander. I'll keep talking, but you don't have to listen to every word. My voice is what's important. It flows along, carrying you with it. Remember that daydreamy feeling, and let my voice help carry you there...you can remember that, Jen. And you're looking so deep into the crystal now, it's such an easy thing to do. And you may notice at some point that your body feels relaxed and heavy...if you notice that feeling, just sink into it and let it take you.

Jen refocused on the crystal. The facets caught her gaze, and she found herself wondering where Brad had gotten the crystal. It was really pretty, she decided. She maybe needed one like that for her dorm room, so she could have rainbows all over it. Her eyes began to feel funny, and she became aware of a tightness in her temples. 

"Just feel yourself daydreaming and relaxing. You may notice other bodily sensations...they're all OK. The heaviness and the tension draining away are all normal...and you're focusing so well on the crystal, Jen...it's really beginning to affect you now. You can see the sparkles, and they can take you deeper into relaxation if you want.

Jen decided she wanted that. She felt the heaviness Brad had mentioned in her arms and legs. She realized she was comfortable, just like she had been reading the book that day. She really didn't want to move. She remembered the clouds, and she saw the crystal sparkling. 

"That's it..." Brad breathed. "Very good, Jen. You're doing very well, it must be such a good memory. I can see your eyes blinking a little as you look at the crystal. Each sparkle makes you a little heavier, a little more relaxed. Can you feel that, Jen?" He paused.
 
Jen moistened her lips. It was hard to move at all, for some reason. He'd told her that was all right and normal, so she didn't argue. "I can feel that..." Her voice sounded odd, unfamiliar. She blinked, stirring.

"Good..." Brad's voice was soothing. "You're starting to really relax now. That's good. You may notice changes in your voice, in your feelings. They're all normal. Just note them and let them relax you more, Jen. It's just a sign you're doing very well. I can see your eyes blinking, Jen...they're probably getting tired, but keep them open for a while longer, all right? Just watch the crystal and relax..."

Jen felt herself slumping back into the chair. Oh, good, he'd been expecting that. She didn't have to worry about it. That was good, because she really wanted to remember the room again. She'd forgotten all about that day until just now. It was something she wished she could keep with her. It had been a wonderful, peaceful day...

She realized her eyes were half-closed and forced them open again. The crystal was there, and easy to look at. Nothing else in the room was in her field of view right now. She watched it sparkle and enjoyed it. It took her another little while to realize Brad was still speaking, because she'd stopped paying attention.

"...and you're relaxing so deeply now, and your eyes are getting so heavy. It's hard to hold them open, and when they drift closed you'll be in a wonderful, relaxing, peaceful hypnotic state. That will be wonderful, won't it, Jen?"

Oh. That needed a response. She whispered "Yeah..." and was satisfied. That seemed to be enough. 

"Yeah, it'll be so nice, because you want that...you told me you wanted to help me. Thank you. You're helping me so much, Jen, and I'm helping you to relax and let go...and get so deeply calm and comfortable...and so deep..."

Deep. Yes. That was a good word for it. She realized she'd lost track of her body and didn't care. She was too happy and calm to care. Her eyes were the only problem. They wanted to close, but she wanted to look at the crystal.

"...and now it's time to close your eyes, Jen, and it'll happen when I count down from three to one. On one you'll take a deep breath, and when you let it out your eyes will close completely and you'll go into a wonderful, peaceful, deep hypnotic state. That will feel so good, won't it?"

Again, it was all Jen could do to murmur "Yeah..." Her eyes fluttered and she fought to keep them open, looking at the crystal. The flashes of light off the facets were making it so hard to concentrate. She wanted to close her eyes...

"And now it's time...three...and your eyes are so heavy, and you want that deep breath...two...getting ready to let go totally and completely...and one."

Jen sighed deeply, relieved, and her eyes closed. She felt herself slump back against the back of the chair, but she didn't care. It felt so good to be so relaxed and not have to worry about anything...and Brad was speaking again.

"That's good, Jen, very good. And I'm going to bring you back now...but we'll do this again soon. Each and every time you enter hypnosis, it will be easier for you to go deeper. Each and every time, you will find yourself relaxing more, deeper, faster. You understand, don't you?"

Someone told him "Yeah."

"Good...and now on the count of five, you'll come fully back to yourself, wide awake and ready to talk about your experience. One...

Jen felt as if something was tugging her deeper. She seemed to be whirling in space, losing focus on everything.

"...three, and coming back now...four, and stretching, eyes opening...and all the way back on five."

Jen's eyes snapped open and she stretched without intending to do it. She looked at Brad incredulously where he grinned at her. 

"Just to be sure, Jen...One, two, three, four, five. All the way back."

Her arms and legs still felt heavy, but she answered "I'm back. What hit me, a Mack truck?"

Brad shook his head. "You hit you. Care to talk about it?"

Jen watched the videotape, shaking her head. "I can't believe that's me. It doesn't look like me. It kind of looks like a mask..."

Brad shrugged, turning off the tape. "It looks like you asleep. I've seen you crashed out before. That's what you look like."

She made a face. "Great, now I'm going to be afraid to fall asleep in the union. I really look like that?"

Brad sat down next to her on the arm of the couch and looked at her, appraising. "Welllll...usually you look less relaxed asleep, frankly. Sometimes you're frowning. Sometimes you're smiling. I know you've said you don't always sleep well."

Jen nodded. "I have a lot of really vivid dreams," she admitted. 

He brightened. "Maybe I can use that in my project! A side goal of dream recall."

She blinked. "Ummm...I don't always want to remember them. Sometimes they're really bad."

Brad stood up and started to pace. "Better to get them out of your system, though. What do you think?"

"I...don't know..."

He whirled around and dropped to one knee. "Pleeeeeze?"

Jen had to laugh as he batted his eyelashes. "Oh, all right, all right..."

Brad fumbled for a fresh tape and stuck it into the camera. "All right, here goes...name, date, and so on. Ready?"

Jen rolled her eyes but obediently gave the requisite information. She shifted in the chair a little, feeling nervous. "I'm not sure about this, Brad..."

He pulled out the crystal. "It's all right, Jen," he said soothingly. "Remember how you watched this before? It's going to be the same thing. That's all. Just daydreaming..."

She took a deep breath without realizing it as the crystal caught the light. 
Brad moved the crystal a little bit more into her line of sight until she looked at it more fully. "That's it, Jen...that's it. Remember how you watched it before. Remember the soft, easy, daydreamy feel. Remember the flashes of the light as the crystal spins..."

She tore her gaze away from the rainbows to look up at Brad for a moment. He smiled reassuringly. This was a side of him she hadn't seen before, but Jen had to admit she liked it. She took another deep breath and looked into the crystal.
 
The room light was the wrong kind to cast rainbows over the room, but Jen could see them clearly in the depths of the facets. It's for the experiment, she told herself firmly. He's just seeing if he can do it. That's all.
 Her shoulders were tight. She concentrated on relaxing them. "Just daydream, Jen. You don't even really have to listen. Just watch the crystal and let the sound of my voice carry you. Your subconscious mind will hear what it needs to. Your conscious mind doesn't need to pay attention."
Jen took a deep breath, and then another. The buzzing feeling in her temples returned as she gazed into the flickering rainbows. The crystal spun very slowly. She realized it had been a little bit since she had blinked.
"Shhh...let it all go, Jen." Brad coaxed. "Let the tension drain away. You don't need it, remember? You're safe with me."
Safe...yes. Jen found herself remembering a time when she'd been stuck in the rain with a flat. She had called Becky and James, her boyfriend at the time, but it was Brad who had come to get her out of the cold wet and brought a flashlight so she could change the tire.
"Always safe...and remember the backrub I gave you a while ago? It felt good, didn't it?"
She nodded slightly, not taking her eyes from the crystal. Good, yes. It had. The buzzing intensified, becoming a pleasant hum. 
"And now, as you watch the crystal, you may become aware of a nice, gentle warmth in your hands and arms. This is the feeling of relaxation moving up your body and into your center, Jen. As you feel that, one arm will become heavier than the other. You'll find it almost impossible to move that arm. The other arm, on the other hand, will become light, easy to lift." 
Jen's vision was tunneling in on the dangling stone. She knew she was losing focus on the rest of her field of vision, but the buzzing made it hard to care. After a moment, she felt her fingers tingle and grow warm. Her lips parted as she looked deeper into the stone, enjoying the relaxation Brad had promised her.
"Good...good, Jen...let it happen...let your thoughts drift away...just watch the crystal and feel the relaxation spread."
The tingling warmth was indeed spreading into her wrists and forearms. Jen felt her fingers on her right hand twitch slightly. She was surprised by this, missing the next few things Brad said. 
"...and it's happening, Jen...you can feel it...as the safe warmth makes its way toward your heart, you're drifting deeper into relaxation, deeper into hypnosis. It's an easy thing to let happen...
 Easy, yes. It was so easy just to let go and watch the crystal. The tingling moved up toward her elbow, and Jen dimly realized her wrist had risen from the comfort of the overstuffed chair and was an inch or so above the fabric.
"...and good...I can tell you're really responding now, Jen...that's very good. You can just sit back and relax your mind and let your body do what it needs to do, as the relaxation spreads up into your heart."
Her fingers lifted from the arm of the chair and began to rise. "That's it...and as your fingers rise, they'll move toward your chest...because you want that soft warm comfort to spread all through you, and your heart can carry it there. So when your fingers touch your chest, your eyes will close and you'll feel that warmth going out through you with every heartbeat."
Jen rather liked that thought. She felt her eyes blinking at the idea of going closed again. It had felt so good the other times. Her forearm was raised now, and she knew her hand was moving toward her chest.
"That's it...you're so good at this, Jen...you can go so deeply into hypnosis, if you just let yourself go...and you are letting yourself go. Your hand is moving ever closer to your chest, and when you're ready it will touch and you'll sink down deep into trance. You want that, don't you, Jen?"
Brad's voice was soft and compelling. She whispered "Yeah..." as her eyes blinked heavily again. Was it her imagination, or was it getting harder to open them? Her other arm was so heavy, too.
"Closer...and closer...as fast or as slow as you need it, Jen...but it's almost there...and you're so close to that wonderful, enveloping hypnotic sleep..."
Jen felt herself sighing. Her fingers touched the fabric of her polo shirt. Immediately she slumped, eyes dropping closed, her hand falling limply to her lap. The buzzing turned into a fog, clouding her thoughts and making everything distant and soft.
Brad's voice came from her left side. "That's it, Jen...that's so good. Every time, you go deeper, faster, more easily. Every time, you respond better. That was easy, wasn't it?"
She nodded a little, not really wanting to speak. The fog intensified around her. An errant image crossed her mind: she was driving and switched on the brights, and everything went white. My thoughts are like that...when I try to think too hard about something, everything goes blank and white. I like that.
She had missed more of what Brad was saying. As he came back into focus, she heard him tell her something about remembering her dreams and telling him about them tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. He would video tape her telling him. Was that all right?
Of course it was...but she needed to tell him that. She managed a soft "Yeah..." and heard her own voice, soft and dreamy. I sound vulnerable, she thought dimly. I sound like I could fall asleep right now. But he'll keep me safe.
"And now, Jen, you'll come back to waking consciousness...and when you do, you'll feel good, happy, warm, and at peace with the world and yourself. You've done very well and you're doing me a favor. I appreciate it, and I want you to know it...all the way down in the deepest parts of you."
Jen smiled sleepily. "'welcome.." she murmured softly.
"And now...one...two...three...four...five."
Jen's eyes snapped open. She blinked for a moment, disoriented, stretching without thinking about it. When she looked up at Brad, she found herself smiling at him.
"Thanks," Brad told her as he shut off the camera. "I appreciate your help on the project."
Jen shook her head. "No...thank you. I'm learning a lot."

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to, Jen."
"No. I want to. Please."
"You're already looking at the crystal. I can see the longing in your eyes. Do you want it with all your heart?"
"Yeeesss..."
“What happened when you hooked up with Brad, Jen? Be there, and tell me what you felt, what happened.”

She felt the room tilt slightly. Unbidden, the memories flowed…

The artificial snows at the resort gleamed in the moonlight. She was reading off their plans for the remaining days of Spring Break, finishing off with “OK, we have everything set, then. We leave for Carowinds at six, we’ll get there at nine. That should give us time to choke down some breakfast before we actually do anything.” Jen put down the calendar and stretched. 

Becky laughed. “If we actually want to eat! Some of us plan on riding things, you know.”

Brad made a face. “I can’t imagine going to a park and not riding anything. Are you sure you won’t even try riding, Jen? I won’t let you fall.”

The petite blonde shook her head violently. “Not on your life. Nuh-uh. I’ll watch you guys get sick, and I’ll soak up some sun. I get seasick on elevators, there’s no way I’m even going to think about doing this. Besides, someone has to be walking straight enough to be able to drive the van back, and that’ll be me. All y’all will be far too busy watching the world spin to do that.”

Marcus laughed. “Aw, come on. You know you want to. It’s Spring Break! It’s opening weekend!  Live a little, Jen, you never…”

Brad interrupted “Leave it, Marc. The lady says no, the lady means no.”

Marcus leaned back indolently. “So my daddy told me. It’s OK. She just doesn’t know what she’s missing.”

Jen looked down at the table. Yeah, I do, she thought. Enough to know I’m not missing anything.  She glanced back up as Brad ran a hand through his shaggy chestnut hair. He caught her eye and gave her a thumb’s up. She forced a smile. He padded over in his bare feet and began rubbing her shoulders. “Well, this crazy rider knows when to hit the hot tub. We have a big day of skiing tomorrow. I don’t want to miss out because I’m sore from today. Anyone want to come with me?”

Rick and Becky both shook their heads, which didn’t surprise Jen at all. The two of them had been trading lingering looks all day long. “I really should crash…” Becky drawled, looking at Rick out of the corner of one eye. Subtle, Bec! Jen thought in amusement. And that accent tells me just how much you drank tonight.  She hid her smile as Becky continued “But I’ll see y’all in the morning.” She got up and headed into the hallway.

Rick stretched. “I should turn in too. I was first up this morning, I made the coffee. You owe me.” He winked. “I’ll expect payback in the form of you staying quiet when you come in.”

Tabby, silent until now and looking out at the slopes, glanced over at Rick and grinned. “You’re all heart, Rick.”

Brad looked inquiringly over at Tabby, giving Jen’s shoulders a squeeze and heading over to his suitcase. “Are you coming, then?” 

Tabby considered, playing with a lock of hair. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I’ll come. I want to soak. Are you going, Jen? Marcus?”

Marcus grinned. “Wouldn’t miss it. Me and hot tubs, we go together.”

Jen said slowly “I’ve never been in one…is it everything it’s supposed to be?” She felt her face flame. Damn sheltered upbringing! she thought fiercely. It’s just a hot tub, not a…I don’t know what! She could almost hear her mother’s disapproving voice telling her about girls who weren’t careful once they got to college. Then again, she’d had to tell her mother it was six girls before she could get away with not going home for the break.

Brad shrugged. “It’s not fireworks and cotton candy, but it can be fun. And, contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to be naked to enjoy one.”

Becky called from the bathroom “But it helps sometimes!” This was followed by a giggle and a “Whoops!”

Brad closed his eyes. “Please, God, tell me she didn’t break anything,” he said softly.

Becky yelled back “No, I didn’t break anything, Brat! I just dropped the soap!” The water began to run from that direction.

Tabby rolled her eyes. “OK, that’s my cue to leave. She’s pulled out the kiddie nicknames. Want me to get your swimsuit while I’m back there, Jen?” She paused and smiled encouragingly. “It’s nice, you’ll like it, and when you get too warm, get out.”

Jen nodded, making up her mind. I won’t be the only girl, she thought. “Sure, get  the purple one,” she agreed. “And the big purple towel. The one with the white stripes.” She caught Brad’s eye again as  he grinned. “And I hope all you evil people won’t lead me astray!” 

Marcus stretched again and followed Tabby toward the bedrooms. “We been doing that since freshman year. If you don’t notice, that’s just as good to me!” He disappeared from view, but a yelp and a “HEY!” with a giggle from Becky could clearly be heard. “Don’t you snap me with that towel, woman…I know where you sleep!”

Jen stood up and wandered over to the window. The light gleamed on the slopes, the darker patches of trees blocking the view of the lift. It’s beautiful here, she thought. Even when it’s getting warmer, this is a little piece of Christmas. 

She jumped, startled out of her reverie by Brad touching her elbow. “I like the view,” he commented. “It’s one thing I noticed the first time I was here in high school. Even the el cheapo rooms have a nice view  of the slopes. And the staff tends to be nice.” He looked down at her. “You’re going to like hot tubbing. Take some water or something so you can stay in longer, though. It’s worth it.”

She smiled back a bit shyly. “Thanks for the advice, Brad.”

His green eyes softened as he looked into hers. “No problem. You’ve really blossomed this year, Jen. It’ll be good to see you enjoy something else new.”

Tabby cleared her throat. “Ahem! Jen needs to change…?” She held up the purple one-piece, eyebrow raised. “C’mon, now you’ve got me craving some serious muscle relaxation.”

Jen blushed and stepped away from Brad, keenly aware of his closeness. “Sorry, Tab. Won’t be a minute.” There was no water running in the bathroom now, so she made her way there and closed the door. She leaned against it for a moment, closing her eyes, then stripped out of her sweatshirt and jeans.

As she changed in the bathroom, Jen could hear Rick and Becky laughing in the boys’ bedroom. They sounded like they were having a tickle fight. I bet those two get together before the end of the week, she thought with a grin. But then, they suit each other. He mellows out her brashness. She grabbed her robe from the back of the door. Even if it doesn’t last long, I hope it lasts long enough. She realized how wistful her own  thoughts sounded and scolded herself. Hopeless romantic. Just because you want the world and everything in it with roses on top doesn’t mean anyone else does. Maybe that’s the way it should be…fast and sweet and playful, instead of romantic and sappy and…

She stepped out into the hall. Tabby was already wearing her robe and swimsuit, and Marcus and Brad had changed into their trunks. “Sorry to keep everyone waiting,” she said.

"Say it louder, Jen. The crystal is already swaying, it's calling to you. Say you want to be hypnotized, Jen." 
"I want to be hypnotized."
"You want to be hypnotized." 
"I want...to be..."
"You want to feel it, Jen...you want to feel your eyes getting heavier. Say it."
"I want...my eyes..."
"It's hard to talk when you want something so badly, isn't it, Jen? But you can speak clearly. You can tell me what you want."
"I want to feel my eyes getting heavier."
"But they already are so heavy, Jen...it must be hard to keep them open."
"It's so hard..."
"Yes...it's so hard. You want them to close...but the crystal is so pretty...and it just won't let them close, will it?"
"No...it...keeps them open...
"But it just flashes the thoughts away with every sparkle...flash...flash...and you can't think while it's sparkling."
"Can't...
"And you want to be hypnotized so much...you're craving it...you need it..."

Jen was panting as she jogged across campus. Her bag thumped against her back, and more than a few men turned to give her an appreciative look. She didn’t pay any attention, already late for her lunch date with her friends. When she got into the snack bar, Becky was already there. She was sitting in a booth, her boyfriend Rick at her left side. They spotted her and Becky gave her a wave as Jen threaded her way through the crowd to the salad bar. She waved back, quickly filling a plate and making her way across the room as  quickly as she could without spilling her plate. 

Jen threw herself into the chair facing Becky. “Sorry I’m late,” she panted. “Working on that project with Brad…it’s really taking up a lot of time right now.”

Becky and Rick exchanged glances. “Sooooo,” Becky drawled, “when are you going to tell everyone?”

Jen blinked. “Tell everyone what?” she asked as she poured the salad dressing over her greens. 

“That you and Brad are a couple, of course!” Becky leaned forward. “Everyone’s wanting to tell you congratulations. You’ve been dancing around it for the past three years. You’re cute together, and it’s obvious you’re crazy about him. Make it formal, so we can be happy for you.”

Jen shook her head. “He’s not interested.” At least, I don’t think so, she thought, remembering his tender smile the night before. “We’ve hooked up before, but he’s not interested.”

Rick chuckled. “Right. So why were you liplocked in the union two nights ago? Everyone knows Brad won’t do PDA with anyone he’s not seeing. But you two sure looked intense. You walked right by people without doing more than waving, with this dreamy look on your face.” He sat back. “You’d have to be a real Cleopatra not to admit that.”

Becky looked at her boyfriend with a raised eyebrow. “Cleopatra?”

“Queen of de nile, it’s something he and Brad say to each other,” Jen murmured automatically, but she was thinking of two nights before. And you’re dancing past your adoring subjects,  princess…hear their cheers! Wave to them, beautiful princess!  She remembered the sound of the crowd, remembered voices…She looked up at Rick and shrugged. “It was part of Brad’s project,” she confessed. “He wanted to see what would happen if he gave me a strong visual fantasy. I was…a princess at a ball.” She felt her face flaming. “I don’t remember seeing you guys, not really. I guess I remember hearing you call to me.” But I don’t remember kissing him! she wailed internally. Did I really kiss him in front of everybody? And if I did, why am I embarrassed about it?

Rick shook his head dubiously. “I don’t buy that, Jen, not for a minute. Why are you ashamed of dating him? Brad’s a good guy.”

Her jaw dropped open. “Rick! It really was part of it, I swear!”

Becky laughed. “Jen, he’s been hypnotizing you for less than a month, twice a week. Right? There’s no way you could be acting like that if that’s how much he’s been doing it. I took a class in states of consciousness, I know. I’d believe it if it was multiple times a day every day. But not someone like you. You’d never go along with it to that level. You’re too grounded. I don’t know why you want to keep it a secret, but if you do, you’d better be more careful about it.”

Jen searched for a cover story. Why don’t they believe me? she wondered. “You’re…you’re right. It’s silly of me. I guess I just feel like I want Brad to tell people first. Stupid, huh?” She laughed shakily. “I’m not ashamed of him…but you know how he is. He wants to be sure. Like that whole non-PDA thing.”

Becky grinned. “Ah-HAH! I thought so. Well, look, we won’t tell anyone. We’ll let you two announce your couplehood in your own way.”

Rick took his turn to raise his eyebrow at Becky. “Couplehood. Is that a word?”

Becky socked him playfully in the arm. “It is in Becspeak, Mr. English Major.”

Jen munched on her salad thoughtfully while the pair bantered. She tried to think back to the evening she’d been a princess. Relax, beautiful, he’d said, holding up the crystal. Tonight is going to be a very special night or you. You’re going to find yourself in the very best kind of fairy tale…

“Jen!”

She jumped and looked up. “What?”

Becky laughed. “Earth to Jen! You really are gone on him, aren’t you? Look at you blush!”

Normally Becky’s slightly abrasive manner didn’t bother Jen , but today she could feel it was going to get on her nerves. She took a last bite of salad. “I am, yeah. He’s really special.” And he’s got some answers he owes me! she thought. “Look, I need to get studying. Are we still on for tomorrow night, Bec?”

Becky nodded, still grinning. “Sure, if you’re not already busy,” she all but cooed. “Girl time can wait till later, if you are.”

Rick rolled his eyes. “Gossip. You just want the good gossip, Bec. Let her alone, you’re bugging her. That  blush isn’t all romance.”

Jen gave Rick a grateful look, not wanting to thank him out loud and start a debate with Becky. “Sorry…blushing, well, it runs in my family. If I even think something funny, it’s all over my face that I’m thinking it.”

Rick winked his left eye, keeping his right arm firmly around Becky so she couldn’t lean forward and catch him. “It happens to the best of us too,” he teased. “You go study. I don’t know how you get your motivation these days, but I wish I had a tenth of it. If you can spare some before comps, I’d love you forever.”

“Thanks, Rick. I’m off, gotta go!” Jen left the table before Becky could make another smart remark. I know where I get it…I get it from that second night. He was doing me a favor. She smiled to herself. And it’s working…I’m doing better than I’ve ever done at this point in the semester. My running is improving too. Whatever else might be going on, Brad is helping me out. He’s paying what he owes me for agreeing to this nutty idea.

Session Start: Sun Jan 05 11:16:21 2003

Jen swirled her drink and looked around the party. Brad was joking with some of the others across the room. The couch was soft and comfortable. Even as a designated driver, she felt at ease with this crowd. *It's amazing,* she thought. *A party with no assholes. I don't know what the world's coming to.*
She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. The music was pulsing, danceable but not too loud to drown out conversation. She was singing along softly under her breath when she felt a touch on her shoulder. She jumped a little and looked up into Brad's eyes. He was grinning. *Uhoh,* she thought. 
Brad handed someone else his drink. "I was wondering..." he began, the sly smile widening, "...if you'd like to show off what you've been learning through my psych project."
 Jen blinked. "What, here? Now? How much have you had to drink, Brad?" She sat up slightly. *Go under, here, at the party?* She felt herself squirming inside at the thought. To cover it, she leaned forward and set her drink on the coffee table.
Brad nodded. "Here, now. You've been practicing, and you can do it riding in the car, in class...what's a party next to wondering if the prof will call on you, huh? And I've only had the one, see?" He tilted his cup toward her. It was more than half full.
She bit her lip slightly. "Are you sure?" A slow, undeniable wave of heat was rising through her thighs and into more intimate places. "What if the music..."
Brad cut her off. "The music doesn't matter, does it, Jen?" He reached down and cupped her chin, staring at her intently. "The music never matters. What matters?"
 Jen shivered as she gazed up at him, his green eyes holding hers. She felt herself swallow, heard herself answer "Your eyes, your voice..." Her voice sounded distant, barely audible over the rhythmic pulse of the music. *But that doesn't matter,* she remembered. *It doesn't. It can go away.* She let herself ride it and make her focus more intense.
"That's it," Brad said softly as she locked onto him. "Let go, Jen. It doesn't matter where you are if you're not behind the wheel of a car. Just float up, float away..."
As if from a very long way away, she realized that her arm was rising from her lap. "Good girl..." he whispered. Or was it just that she couldn't hear? Or...
"Is she hypnotized?"
"Yeah, she is. Look at her face."
"Holy shit, you weren't kidding, Brad. Now what?"
"Now...think of something you'd like her to do. It's OK, she won't do anything she wouldn't want to do deep down."
 Jen floated, barely aware of the voices around her. Somehow her eyes had closed, but that was all right. She was lying back on the couch, she knew that, but nothing mattered right now except floating and relaxing for Brad.
"Well..." There was a pause. "I really want to see her naked. I've wanted to see her naked since I caught a look at her sun-bathing in that bikini sophomore year. You think she'd..."
Brad's voice was calm and assured. "I bet she would. Want to put money on it?"
"Yeah! Yeah, I do. Because Jen's never even worn that bikini since she found out someone saw her. She's too embarrassed about herself. I bet she says no. Ten bucks."
Jim, Jen thought dreamily. Jim saw me. I remember. Then Brad's suggestions took over again, and she remembered the warmth of the sun and how nice the late spring air felt on her skin, and thought dissolved away again.
She became aware of the music again. It pulsed and rippled over her. She could feel the music wanting to sink into her skin. Something was in the way, though. Something was keeping her from being one with the song.
She frowned a little, wanting the music to be a part of her. *I need this,* she thought. *I need the music to...to guide me. To heat me. I need it. And something's not right.*
She sat up, trying to find a position where the music could move through her more easily. AS she did so, she became aware of her clothing. It felt too tight. It felt hot. It felt...wrong. The clothes were wrong, somehow.
Hands that didn't feel like her own began to undo the buttons on her blouse. The moment the top two came open, she felt a wave of relief washing over her. The music was soft lotion sinking into the skin of her upper chest. The next two buttons came open faster. She sighed softly, head tilting back in ecstasy as her upper breasts became one with the song.
It was good, it was so good...she wanted more. Much more. She stood unsteadily, then felt the music wash over her again and keep her from falling. Her hips began to move with the rhythm in a soft undulation as she shed her blouse onto the soft couch.
As she began to unbutton the fly of her jeans, the name "Jen" ceased to have meaning. The music was filling her, transforming her. She caressed herself, caressed the notes of the song that controlled her. Jeans slid to the floor and were discarded, and right along with them the soft silken underwear the one called Jen favored.
The girl made of song ran her fingers through her hair, unbinding it from its scrunchie and ponytail. Soft skin slid by under soft hands, dictated by the pulse of the rhythm and the demands of the guitar. She ground, feeling the wetness between her thighs that indicated the climax of the song. Then she felt herself falling back onto the couch as she chorused to fade.
Brad's voice came back. "Good girl...good girl..." She felt a blanket being drawn up over her body and sighed, snuggling into its warmth. "Sleep, Jen." 
It took her a moment to remember who Jen was. Then she remembered, but as fast as she did so the music and the voice and the couch and the world dissolved into nothing.

The workout video was about halfway through when the phone rang. Jen stopped jogging in place and stared at it, willing it to stop. After three rings, she sighed. "Dammit...I really needed to do this..." and picked up the receiver.
She didn't bother to mute the pulsing music. "Hello, my place, your nickel, and I'm working out. Talk fast!"
"Jen? Is that you? It's Brad."
Her breath caught in her throat. She fumbled for the remote and turned off the blaring set. "Say that again?" she asked softly.
"It's me, Brad. Is it a bad time to talk?"
Jen slowly sat down on the couch. "No...no, this is all right. I was just working out, so I'm a bit out of breath." And that's why my heart is pounding in my chest, she tried to convince herself. "What's going on? Is everything all right?"
There was silence on the line for a moment. When he spoke again, Brad's voice was almost inaudible over the sound of her pulse. "I wanted to tell you I'm sorry, Jen. Can I take you out to dinner or something, we can talk?"
No. Yes. No. "Well, let me see what I have going on, OK?" she hedged. 
He knew what she meant by that. He took a deep breath. "At least let me apologize in person? I really...I didn't treat you well, and I'm coming to realize it. It really bothers me. You deserved better. Please?"
She nodded, then felt foolish. "All right," she said out loud. "Tonight, Pizza Hut, our old table." I'll be damned if I let you spend a lot of money on me!
"Fair enough. At eight? I'll see you then?"
"Sure, Brad. I'll see you then." 
As usual, he hung up without saying goodbye. She replaced the phone on the hook and stood, staring at it until the click and hum of the VCR brought her back to herself.
Brad wants to see me.