Chapter 9
It took a while for me to fall asleep that night. Perhaps it was too soon, but I had always been a person who looked ahead and took stock of my assets and liabilities before I took action. I was doing a lot of thinking about the implications of suddenly having extended the bounds of our family.
Paula snuggled briefly. In the dim light coming through her curtains, I could just make out her face. Her eyes flickered open for an instant, she saw my face though, then she sighed and smiled, snuggling even tighter to me.
Oh my, but that felt good.
Maybe I could get used to this easier than I had expected.
I'm sure that when I finally fell asleep there was a smile on my face.
Awakening on Saturday morning was really strange. I was alone in a bed that smelled distinctly of a sexy woman. Over and above that, I had awakened in a room that I didn't instantly recognise; it took a moment or two for me to realise where I was. I needed to find the bathroom, but as I came more fully awake, I realised that my undershorts weren't lying where I'd taken them off last night.
I was starting to think that Paula was being unreasonable about forcing me to run around in the nude when I heard running footsteps, then someone at the bedroom door. It opened and Paula appeared, slightly out of breath, and carrying a couple of shopping bags in her hands.
"Oh Darn." She giggled. "You woke up before I got back. I'm sorry about that. I hurried as fast as I could, but I've never shopped for a guy before."
"What?" I stared at her as she dropped the shopping bags on the floor and ran to the bed to lean down and hug me.
"I went and got you some stuff to have here." She announced. Her face inches from mine and a hug grin on her face. "I bought you a bathrobe, some more undershorts and a shirt to replace the one we tore up yesterday. I also got you a toothbrush and toothpaste and some deodorant, the same kind as I saw you had in your bathroom at the res."
"Well, I should use the robe, the toothbrush and the toothpaste, then I can kiss you and say thanks. I really need the can and the shower first, though."
"Mm hmm." She nodded. "I woke up feeling the same way."
Then, despite the way I must have reeked, she still gave me a quick kiss before bouncing off the bed and grabbing the shopping bags to begin tossing things toward me.
"There, a robe, undershorts, toothpaste, toothbrush, deodorant, a disposable razor, and lastly, a new shirt." She grinned at me. "They aren't fancy or anything, I just used the tags in the ones that you were wearing yesterday to get sizes and tried to get things that came close to matching what you were wearing or what I remembered seeing in the res."
"Well, it's still more than I expected." I grinned at her. "Thanks, now do you think the bathroom is busy?"
"Nah., Mom and Sydney have zipped over to Sydney's place, 'cause she wanted to change her clothes. They'll be back inside of an hour, so they won't hold up our car shopping trip. They still want to come watch you in action at the car lot. If you have a shower and clean up, I'll cook some breakfast."
"If I'd known they were gone . . ." I slid out of bed and grabbed the robe, toothbrush, toothpaste and razor, then tore to the bathroom as Paula stood laughing at my mad scramble.
She must have listened to the running water from the shower and started breakfast when it stopped, because when I came out, she was just setting breakfast on the table. We each had a half grapefruit, a small orange juice, eggs, bacon and toast, as well as a cup of coffee.
"Wow, I'll get fat if you feed me like this." I grinned at her.
"I've got to keep your strength up." She grinned back. "But before we eat, I want a proper kiss."
I was glad to oblige, but when my hands started to roam over her body, she pulled back.
"Unh uh." She pushed my hands away. "Eat first, then as you get dressed, we need to talk, okay?"
"Okay." I agreed as my stomach growled. "Even my belly seems to think that's smart."
She just giggled as she slid into one of the places set at the table. "Well, lets eat then; even I'm getting excited about the idea of going out with you and shopping for a car."
"Ah, that's a surprise." I smiled as I lifted a bite of grapefruit.
"Oh, come on, a chance to actually shop with my guy? What woman anywhere wouldn't like that?"
"But, it's for a car." I chuckled.
"Mmm, I was thinking about that." She smiled tentatively. "Where do you stand on the great SUV discussion?"
"I don't think I've ever thought about it too much." I shrugged. "That would solve the problem of clearance for wintertime snow, that's a consideration for the cabin. We actually get quite a bit of snow up there some years, that's why I've gotten into the residences. My first year at the University, I was snowed in at the cabin for five days."
"Ohh! Actual snow for several days?"
"Don't sound so happy about it; it can be a pain in the butt. The cabin is about twelve hundred feet higher in altitude and about fifteen miles inland, so we get warmer weather in the summer and cooler weather in the winter. We get a bit more rain, a bit more fog, a bit more snow, that sort of thing. You have to take the good with the bad."
"Since you come with it, I'll take it." She giggled. "Say, four wheel drive would be handy too, wouldn't it?"
"Yes, definitely. That's one failing of the old pickup truck. It only has rear wheel drive."
"So would you trade that in?"
"Not so you'd notice." I grinned. "I've finally got old Billy-Bob about where I want him; I don't want to part with him now. He's a perfect sleeper."
"You mean it's rigged up as a camper truck?"
"No, Billy-Bob is a 1947 Dodge pickup. He looks old and beat up, but he has updated and modernized brakes, steering, suspension, power train, and safety gear, stuff like seat belts and a roll cage. He looks like he's on his last legs, however, flat out and lightly loaded, he'll do zero to 60 in under five seconds. About the time some hot rod kid pulls up beside him with one of the newer rice burners and starts laughing about the way he looks, he sometimes gets the bit in his teeth. Besides, I love going up the grade on the Malahat, carrying a big load and zipping past new trucks who are carrying half the load and bogging down."
"I see." She couldn't help smiling. "You are competitive and do have an ego, after all."
"Oh yeah, but it's tempered by what I like to think of as a sense of humour." I grinned. "Besides, Billy-Bob has fenders made out of real steel, not the tin cans they use for fenders in trucks these days. He was meant to last and I've given him new life. But, just in case I ever want to restore him to original one day, I did keep all the original bits and pieces."
"That was my next question." She laughed. "Do you have all the answers?"
"Nope." I grinned. "I don't even have an idea what all the questions might be."
"Well, to get back to the new car, what do you think of an SUV?"
"Sounds good to me, if that's what you want."
"But do Mercedes or Volvo have SUV's, or do you know?"
"Well, we could call them, or go down and check for ourselves, or better yet, we could go on the Internet, then go to autonet and check there. If autonet has a listing, we can do a comparison of all the features and costs, do all that stuff right from here."
"You're kidding me?"
"Nope." I grinned as I polished my plate with a piece of toast. "Thank you for breakfast; that was excellent."
"Good, now hand me your plate and lets go check that web-site." She was on her feet in an instant.
"You do that, I'm putting on some clothes first." I told her flatly.
I had gotten dressed and was putting on my pants when I heard her voice squawk.
"FIFTY THOUSAND dollars!" She screamed. "For a bloody rolling pile of metal and rubber?"
"More like tin cans and plastic, dear." I laughed as I came out of the bedroom, still barefoot.
"Lets rent a damn car until you can find me something old and fix it up like you did your truck. Your truck only cost you sixteen grand and it sound like it suits you to a 'T.' I'll bet we could do just as good for me."
"Oh, where did you come from?" I laughed in delight at the idea of fixing up an old car for her. "But in this case, Mom's right. We need a car like this for those days when we want to thumb our noses at the Joneses."
"What?" She turned and looked at me strangely.
"Our snotty neighbours, we have to give them something to keep up with and we can certainly afford it. My accountant will ask why we didn't buy two of them? He keeps telling me that I'm not spending enough money on myself, and that means too much goes to the government in taxes."
"Just a second, dear." She whipped back to the web-site, then swore quietly. "I can't see a Mercedes pickup listed. The closest they have is a station wagon. Say, could you rebuild one of those into a mini-pickup?"
"Oh come on, it'd be a micromini." I laughed. "It wouldn't be big enough to haul anything; it'd be useless."
"Not if you just want to thumb your nose at the Joneses." She giggled. "Just think, buy a two year old junker station wagon and have it rebuilt just so your artist girlfriend could have a little pickup truck to haul her easel and paints around in style."
When Aileen and Sydney came in a few minutes later, we were laughing so hard that we were holding our sides. We'd gotten carried away as we searched the net for the most suitable style of fancy station wagon that could be chopped into a micromini-pickup truck and still look stylish, yet still be slightly useful. I think they thought we had lost our marbles. Perhaps we had, but it was fun.
After our review on the computer, we'd made up our minds to buy the Mercedes ML350 SUV, but we'd agreed that we had to at least look at the Volvo XC90 SUV, just to be fair. Paula and I drove down in her mother's car with Aileen and Sydney following in Sydney's car. I think they were surprised that we planned on pulling into the Mercedes sales lot first, but it was a buyer's tactic that I'd used before. You visit a lot, get a salesman all hot for a sale, then explain that you simply have to be fair and at least look at the competition, hop in your car and let the salesman cool his heels for a while. Worked properly, along with a few other tactics, you can use it to get the best deal possible.
On the way downtown, Paula and I discussed tactics, so as we parked her mom's car and got out, she was quickly at my side and holding onto one of my arms as if she were glued to me. Of course we had a fleet footed, glib talking salesman in our face almost instantly. As I expected, he greeted us both effusively, then proceeded to ignore Paula and concentrate on pushing himself and his whole sales pitch at me. I simply walked past him, totally ignoring his greeting and everything he had said, heading instead for an older salesman who had hung back just a few seconds too long for Mr. 'Fleet of foot and glib of tongue.' The look on both of their faces was worth that act, even if by chance they didn't have an SUV like the one we wanted in stock.
Fortunately they had one that came within the range of our needs, not only in stock, but supposedly ready to go. So we looked it over and Paula hung on my arm as if she was a wall flower, but our salesman wasn't having any of that, he was including her in his spiel even if she wasn't really reacting to his sales pitch. Actually what he probably didn't notice was that occasionally he'd make a point she wanted more information on and she'd squeeze my arm to get me to have him fill in a more detailed explanation. Meanwhile Aileen and Sydney had come on the lot and were being annoyed by the first salesman that we'd run into.
Eventually the sales pitch reached the point where he asked us if we wanted to take the SUV for a test drive. As far as we were concerned though, he'd only gone over the surface features and goody detail without getting into the technical end at all. I know he'd included Paula up until then, but when I simply looked at her and raised my eyebrows, his face registered mild surprise. When she let go of my arm and headed for the driver's door, his eyebrows were the ones that lifted. But, he instantly started toward the front passenger seat. When she only reached inside to unlatch the engine compartment before walking around the SUV to open the hood, I think he suddenly had to do a total reassessment of the whole situation.
Then she looked inside the engine compartment and started hitting him with technical questions. After a moment, he realised she knew more than he did about the difference between the 2005 model and the 2006 model we were looking at. He was forced to go get the tech sheets, that's when we went into a whipsaw pitch for a few minutes. Paula would ask a question, then I would and so on. He was a good salesman, if he didn't know the answer, he asked someone who did, or he looked it up himself.
Finally, to my mind, it was time for the test drive and I winked at Paula. She simply headed for the driver's door and I headed for the front passenger's door, leaving the salesman to take a back seat. By that point, he wasn't ready to argue; I think he realised that he'd been had. Paula adjusted the seat and the mirrors to where she was comfortable and could see well, then finally started the engine. She drove for a few minutes and then quietly pulled over to the side and parked, turned to me and suggested that we swap seats. She said she wanted both of us to be comfortable with whatever vehicle we decided on, but she was frowning when she did it. The choice of the word vehicle was intentional, in fact we'd rehearsed it. Used in the way she did, it has a slightly negative connotation.
I think the salesman was about to make a sales pitch again, but he caught that frown and I think it worried him. Instead of saying anything, he remained silent and I took my turn to adjust things before I signalled into traffic and headed for a steep hill. Halfway up the hill, I pulled over and parallel parked, then I frowned as I glanced over my shoulder to shoulder check as I pulled back out. Seconds later, I glanced at Paula and raised an eyebrow. She managed to hold back the grin that I knew she wanted to give me.
I knew both of us already liked the darn thing, but I think the salesman was sure he'd just lost a sale and didn't even know why. I took the quickest route I could back to the sales lot, pulled in and parked, then we all got out. I left the keys in the ignition and walked toward the front of the SUV. Paula, meantime got out and walked toward the rear. The salesman had to decide which one of us he was really dealing with and I think he was confused. Instead of following either one of us, he waited to see what we would do.
It was time for 'the pause.' It's a sales gimmick that I've seen used many times, you reach a decisive point in the sale and there comes a certain point where a decision has to be made. That's 'the pause' and depending on who speaks or acts first, the buyer or the salesman, you know who has control of the situation and therefore the upper hand. Paula walked around the SUV and met me at the front corner furthest away from the salesman. We paused there and simply looked at each other for a second, then turned to look at the SUV, forcing the salesman to walk around to us.
He put on a brave face, but I could see a slight slump to his shoulders. He knew that he'd been outmanoeuvred. He didn't even wait ten seconds before he asked what we thought. That's when I brought up pricing. When he started by bringing up the extras that were already installed on the vehicle, I frowned and waved a hand, saying something about "Yeah, I noticed that the dealer had pre-loaded it with gimmicks to up the final price for some sucker," he acted as if he was upset that we'd even think they would do that. I simply rolled my eyes.
Then he pointed to another SUV that they had on the lot, but which had no extras, Paula snorted loudly. She pointed out that it was a more expensive model which had a bigger engine that we didn't want, and weren't about to accept. He couldn't see fit to lower his asking price, so I simply suggested to Paula that we wanted to look at the Volvos before we made up our mind anyway, and apologised to the salesman for apparently wasting his time. I gave him a final straw to cling to, telling him that we had considered the SUV, but not at that price and that if couldn't find anything we liked at Volvo, we might be back to talk to him. However, not to hold it for us if someone else came along while we were gone. With that, we walked back to her Mom's car and drove off the lot.
We hadn't driven half a block before Paula asked me if I was nuts, telling me that she really liked that SUV.
"Mmm hm." I grinned. "And about now, that salesman is in the manager's office doing everything but stand on his head to get the manager to eat the price of those extras, just in case we do come back."
"But you told him not to hold it for us." She sounded upset.
"Number one, how many sales do you think they make a day in high end SUVs, even on a Saturday? Number two, he's going to hold it until he's sure, just in case, because we've admitted that other than price, we're interested. So right now, he's fighting to get that price down and hoping to make his dealership's money back on finance charges."
"But, I expected you to pay cash?" She questioned.
"I am, but he won't expect that." I grinned. "How many people have fifty-six grand available at a moment's notice?"
She just shook her head and I'm sure she thought I was using the wrong tactics.
When we were a few blocks from the Volvo dealership, we pulled over to the side and waited for Aileen and Sylvia to show up. While we were parked and waiting, we had a discussion about what had happened. It wasn't an argument, but it was a minor disagreement. The one thing we did agree on was that we'd try a different set of tactics at the Volvo dealership.
Aileen and Paula were going simply a mother and daughter, looking for a vehicle, but they were going to be unsure what they wanted. Paula was leaning toward the SUV and Aileen toward a station wagon. They were going to try to pull their car onto the lot to park as if they were thinking to trade it in. Sydney was going to act independently of them, but would greet them as an old friend after a few minutes. She was going to park on the street again. Me? I was going to walk the final few blocks and be a tire kicker, a University student, dreaming of one day owning a Volvo.
When I got to the lot, Aileen and Paula were being hustled by a pushy salesman, but Sydney didn't appear to have arrived yet. Either that dealership was more short staffed than I expected, or I'm a better actor than I thought, because I wasn't even approached and asked why I was gazing longingly at the new cars. As it was, I was quite close by when Aileen's voice rose sharply enough for me to hear her tell the salesman off and ask for another salesperson.
"Look mister, you don't seem to know anything about these cars at all. If you can't answer a technical question or two, I'd suggest you go get a job as a shoe salesman and send us a salesperson who knows his butt from a bushel basket. My daughter knows more about the technical details of this car than you do." She said loudly enough to be heard clearly. "And, kindly keep your hands to yourself."
I didn't catch his response, but she hauled off and slugged him. I don't think I've ever moved so fast in my life. I wanted to get between the two of them, because he'd actually stepped back and lost his footing, then had fallen. I could see the fire in her eyes and see that she was about to kick him and I certainly didn't want that to happen.
"He grabbed my ass." She protested loudly, trying to get past me as Paula and I were holding her back.
"Nobody grabs my ass unless I want them to." Aileen was screaming. "The smarmy little bastard, let me at the son-of-a-bitch. I'll teach him to grab-ass. I'll kick him in the balls."
I hadn't realised she had such a violent temper, but with Paula's help we were gradually getting her moved back a short distance. I looked over my shoulder, expecting to see the salesman at least getting up to protest. I didn't expect what I saw. Two guys in suits were hurrying across the lot. I knew they had to be ready for trouble, but Sydney had beaten them to the slime bucket, somehow she had appeared out of nowhere. She was standing over the guy and her face looked like a thunder head cloud about to hail on him. She spoke so quietly that I couldn't hear what she said, but whatever it was, he simply flopped back on the ground and gave up on the idea of standing. Paula and I were still busy trying to calm Aileen, but I could see that Sydney didn't need any help anyway.
I couldn't help a passing thought that at that moment, she looked like a grizzly bear protecting her cub. Then Aileen shifted gears and I could see the change before my eyes. Suddenly, at the snap of your fingers, she seemed to calm down. I couldn't believe it.
"Oh shit." She said quietly. "My damn temper."
Instantly, there were tears in her eyes and Paula moved in to hug her. "It's okay, Mom. The bastard deserved it."
She looked up at me and said quietly. "Don't you lose your cool too, but before you got here, he tried to put the make on me to and he tried to pat my ass earlier. I think he deserves to be slapped with a sexual harassment charge."
"Not a problem. If you want to do that, I've got a good lawyer." I answered. "The problem is that we're all involved."
"He didn't just pat my ass, he grabbed a handful and squeezed. I'll bet I'll get a bruise." Aileen said through tears.
"Are you willing to let a woman cop take a picture of that?" I asked, instantly changing my mind. "If you are, he's toast."
"A picture? Of my butt?"
"At the right stage, that bruise will match the bugger's grip and show his hand print. Every hand print is as distinctive as a finger print. That bruise might as well be his signature."
Her nod, then Paula's convinced me. I spun around to confront the two suits who were getting in Sydney's face about letting the guy up.
"I would suggest you butt out." I growled at the two of them. "That asshole had better stay laying right where he is until the cops get here, or I'll perform a citizen's arrest on him myself. The lady over there is charging him with sexual harassment, physical assault, and anything else that we can think of. I'm a witness and the lady says she bruises easily. That means we have his hand print on her buttocks and possibly his fingerprints on her person too. Actually we have three witnesses and her testimony. He is going down."
"Uh oh, I'd better get the manager." One guy almost whimpered.
"Yeah, you'd better." I growled.
I could hear a siren approaching and I looked up at Sydney, getting a tiny nod, so I knew she'd used her cell phone to call them. I hadn't even thought of calling them yet. The guy on the ground was starting to protest, so I leaned forward and looked him in the eye.
"Let me warn you that you had better not even think about moving." I said so quietly I could hardly hear myself. "One of those two women is my girlfriend, and the other is her mother. I'm not happy with the way you treated them. Moving before the police are here to protect you would be dangerous for your health."
I think he believed me, I know Sydney did, because she moved over to wrap her arms around both Aileen and Paula.
The next two hours were a total waste of time. The damn guy already had a rap sheet for sexual harassment and stalking. The cops even recognised him when they came to arrest him. In only moments, my annoyance with him had broadened to include the Volvo dealership.
I called Mom, who called our lawyer. Since our lawyer was someone who dealt almost exclusively with real estate and business law, I wasn't surprised that he brought along a specialist in cases of the sort we had come up against. He showed up with a young woman lawyer who was used to dealing with women's issues and with sexual harassment cases. She was good. In only moments, she'd impressed me. I felt quite confident in leaving her with the women to deal with them and the cops while I spoke to our regular lawyer about my feelings toward the Volvo dealership. Something about the glint in his eye as I told him what I'd overheard from the cops let me know that they were in for trouble.
During the discussion, the reason we were there came up, and I explained the details of our day's dealings with car dealerships and our preference for the Mercedes, but I also explained that I thought Aileen needed a new car herself. He just snorted at that and said he didn't think she had any worries about a new car, I think he meant to imply that the woman lawyer would be out to get for a lot more than just a new car from Volvo.
He did have one suggestion that made sense to me and that was that the company buy the Mercedes. Paula or I would then lease it from the company for a dollar a year, and services rendered. He implied that we could do the same sort of thing for Aileen and Sydney as well. Then he offered to handle the purchases if I wanted to go that route.
I wasn't sure how that worked out for tax purposes, because the car would become a taxable benefit. He explained that by doing it his way, it cut the overall profits of the company. What that meant in the long run that my income was cut slightly, meaning that I saved more taxes, even with the taxable benefit. If Paula was leasing the car, I had no taxable benefit at all. That made sense to me.
I had to get Mom's okay before we went ahead with the deal, so I called her again. She thought for a moment, then laughed, saying she couldn't see any problems with the idea, but suggested that we only get the Mercedes SUV for now. For one thing, she felt that anything more might be misread by either Aileen or Sylvia and would definitely not look good in court if the Volvo people found out about it. She was sure that any lawyer that had been recommended by ours would at least get a decent out-of-court-settlement for Aileen.
Then she astounded me. "Actually, I think you should invite them all up to your cabin for the rest of the weekend."
"Pardon me." I almost gasped.
"Oh, don't be a prig." She snorted. "After this sort of thing, they need a break away from all the crap in town, especially Paula and her mother. Inviting them up here will give you the chance to see what they're like when they go through the let down after an adrenaline high and relax again. Besides, about now they think you're a hero anyway, so you certainly wouldn't lose out on it. I know the place is spotless, because Mary Joe always cleans up for you after you go back to town. All you need is some food and something to drink and you could have a great barbeque tonight. Be sure to buy enough groceries for breakfast and lunch tomorrow too. Then you could spend all day tomorrow relaxing before you come over here to eat tomorrow night."
"Well, do you want to come over to the barbeque too? You'd certainly be welcome."
"No, I'll wait until tomorrow." She was chuckling when she hung up on me.
I think she had a suspicion of what was going to happen.