Chapter 12
I didn't fall asleep as such, instead I might have dozed for a while, then suddenly I awoke with a strange question in my mind; what had Andy said about a book on herbs that had mentioned witches' potions? What if the doctor was wrong? What if Andy had been taking some herb she shouldn't have had? Was there any chance that Andy had lost her baby because of the herbal teas she had been drinking? Could it be that Fran had made a mistake in the herbs she'd measured out for Andy? Or had Andy reacted badly toward what herbs she had used?
Frowning at myself for being suspicious that Fran might have made an error, I knew that I wasn't going to be able to get the idea out of my head easily. I was going to worry about it and I knew that I'd be unable to sleep until I'd found some way to dispel my concerns. Perhaps there was some way that I could ease my mind? Maybe there was a way of finding out if she had made a mistake. Perhaps I could get a test done on the herbs she had used to find out if they might have caused a problem. I knew there was no way I could arrange to test them tonight, but perhaps I could do something toward that end and ease my anxiety? To test them, I had to have the dregs of the herbs, could I still find them?
Moving quietly as I could so I wouldn't awaken Lisa-Marie, I slipped out of bed. Then grabbing my pants and shirt, I tiptoed out of the bedroom. Once I was downstairs, I turned on the light in the kitchen. We'd rinsed the mugs we'd used to drink tea, but had Lisa-Marie emptied and rinsed the little muslin bags that Fran used to hold her herbal concoctions? I hoped not. As things stood, I wanted to find out exactly what we'd drunk earlier. If I could get samples of the different mixtures, I could have them tested at the college lab next week. I knew they tested animal feeds for poisons or contaminants and I thought that testing for different herbs shouldn't be much different.
Aha, there the tea bags were, laid out on the edge of the drain board of the sink and still tied with three different coloured cords that indicated who each little bag was intended for. Since the little bags were recycled over and over, Fran had taught us to press most of the liquid out with a spoon, then lay them out to dry. If we cared for them that way, we could easily empty them so they could be washed to be used again and rinsing them after they'd been emptied wasn't such a messy job.
Luckily they'd been laid out with a slight separation which meant there shouldn't have been any cross contamination and I wanted to keep them that way. On top of keeping them separate, I wanted to keep those little bags moist, just in case something about their contents changed when they dried out. Over and above that I didn't want Lisa-Marie to know I was taking them to be tested. I suppose that was probably because I didn't want her feeling upset that I was questioning Fran's judgement about herbs, but that meant that I couldn't just grab three containers out of the cupboard to store them in.
Luckily, I remembered that Uncle Silas had always saved the plastic bags that his bread was packaged in. I found the drawer where they were kept and took out three of the salvaged bread bags, put one tea bag into each, then rolled each one up tightly. Tomorrow I could put them in the truck. That way I'd have them with me when I went back to the college on Monday, but for now I had to put them some place where they wouldn't be noticed and I didn't feel like dressing up to take them to the truck hat late at night.
The problem with keeping them moist was that I had to keep them cool as well; otherwise, they might start to mildew. Damn, I should keep them in the fridge, but . . . Wait a minute, that was an idea. I opened the fridge and glanced inside, where to hide something? Oh yeah! I pulled out one of the vegetable crisper drawers, pushed the three little bags into the space at the very back and slid the drawer back into place.
There, that was done, I could go back to bed, however there was one small problem with that. I was wide awake now. I needed to relax. I needed to have something calming, like the tea that Fran had made up for me to use each night at college. I wished that I could fully trust those little bags of her tea again, but for some reason, at the moment I didn't trust her mixtures at all.
Wait a minute, even before we'd met Fran I'd used herbal teas occasionally. Didn't I have some packets of commercially prepared herbal tea? A quick check of the cupboard yielded a packet called 'Sleepy-time Delight' made with chamomile and mint and in seconds I had put the kettle on to boil. Now all I had to do was be patient, make the tea, then wait for it to work.
My mind was dwelling on herbs, yet I didn't know enough to be critical and I knew it. I decided that I needed to read up on them, just for my own satisfaction. Hey, the book about herbs that Andy had said she'd taken out of the library, I didn't think she'd mind if I borrowed it for a while. Before I thought too much about what I was going to do, I got to my feet and went to her room, found the book on her bedside table and picked it up, then carried it back down to the kitchen table.
By the time I was back downstairs the kettle was boiling. I filled a mug with boiling water, dropped in the little tea bag, then sat down at the table and flipped open the book to the index page. There on almost the last line of the index was a chapter titled 'Witch's Brews - p. 354' and it only took a few seconds to turn the pages so I could find that section. I was mainly interested in what it would say about coriander since that was the herb Andy had mentioned and I flipped pages hurriedly.
The description said coriander had various magical qualities, being good for longevity and love spells and it could also be used for peace and serenity spells when used in ritual drinks. Oh yeah, sure! Then it went on to describe how to make a love potion by mixing it into wine. There were no warnings about it causing any health problems, let alone about it being dangerous if taken during pregnancy.
I grew interested and read about several other herbs, but didn't find anything really remarkable and it wasn't long before I found myself yawning. Assuming that I'd fall asleep if I went back to bed, I took the book back up to Andy's room and in moments I slipped under the covers with Lisa-Marie. She rolled over against me almost instantly, then mumbled that I was cold and pulled back. Seconds later however, she was snuggling against me again.
"Why did you get up? Was something wrong?" She murmured softly. "You got chilled."
"Nope, I just couldn't sleep, rather than toss around in bed and wake you, I went downstairs and had a sleepy tea."
"Oh." She grunted, then snuggled even more tightly against me. "I missed you."
"Sorry." I sighed.
If she said anything more, I didn't hear it. Instead I fell into a sound sleep for several hours. When I did awaken, it was to the soft murmur of voices from downstairs. A glance at the bedside clock told me that I'd slept almost six hours. It was now almost eleven o'clock in the morning.
After a quick shower, I found some clean clothes and went down to the kitchen. Lisa-Marie was sitting at the kitchen table with Willy and his mother.
"Morning, Sleepyhead." Lisa-Marie said as she got to her feet, giving me a hug and a quick kiss. "I was going to come wake you soon; you need to have lunch before we have to go pick up Andy."
"Oh." I glanced at Mrs. Martin. "Are we picking her up?"
My glance swung out the window and I knew we'd be in for quite a trip, huge wet flakes of snow were falling and building up on everything.
"Yeah, I guess so. She called and asked if we would." Lisa-Marie sighed then. "I was just talking to Mrs. Martin about it"
"Yes, she talked to us too and told us that she wanted you to pick her up from the hospital." Mrs. Martin was on the verge of tears. "I think she's very angry with Bill."
"Mrs. Martin, I wouldn't want to hazard a guess about what she's thinking at the moment. And, I don't think we should even try to guess." I reached out and took her hand in mine. "All I know is that she's been through a really rough time and I think she may be reacting to the trauma. That probably means she's not really thinking clearly. I think for now we need to humour her though, at least if it doesn't step on anyone's toes too badly."
"I suppose you're right, but it feels so wrong. She should be with her family at a time like this." Mrs. Martin was crying now.
Since both Lisa-Marie and Willy moved to comfort her, there wasn't much I could say or do. Instead, I went to the counter and poured myself a cup of coffee. After taking one sip, I looked at Lisa-Marie in surprise, I'd expect it to be stale and old, but it wasn't.
"Yes, it's freshly made." She smiled. "As I said, I was just about to call you."
Suddenly Mrs. Martin sat up straight and looked around to find the clock, then suddenly she got to her feet.
Sniffing back tears, she announced. "I'll get Willy to run me home now, that way he can be back in time to go with you to pick up Andrea. With the weather like it is, it's a good thing he'll be along, just in case."
In seconds I was staring in surprise as she and Willy suddenly left.
"Just what the hell was that all about?" I turned to Lisa-Marie as soon as I thought they couldn't hear.
"Oh man! What a bloody mess." Lisa-Marie threw her hands in the air. "I guess this morning Mr Martin phoned the hospital and demanded to talk to Andy. It sounds like he lost his temper again. The long and short of it is that Andy wants you to bring Willy and me along to pick her up and no one else."
"Ah, so it's not just Andy's fault?"
"Oh no. I think our neighbour, Mr. Martin, has a temper and Andy has felt a taste of independence even in the few days she's been here. I don't think she's willing to back-peddle to him anymore."
"But why doesn't she want her mother there either?"
"Don't ask me. I don't know. All I do know is that neither Mr. nor Mrs. Martin is welcome in Andy's eyes. For now, I'll go along with that."
"It just doesn't seem right to me."
"I agree." Lisa-Marie sighed. "Anyway, will bacon and eggs do for your brunch?"
"Brunch?"
"Yeah, too late for breakfast, too early for lunch. I heard it on tv the other day."
I just shrugged. "Sure, bacon and eggs will do fine."
I'd finished eating and Lisa-Marie had called her mom to explain what had happened by the time Willy came back and knocked on the door. I let him in and offered him a cup of coffee while we waited for Lisa-Marie to finish her call.
"Some mess, huh?" Willy said quietly as he stirred sugar into his coffee. "Mom is so mad at Dad that I think she'd kick his butt if she could catch him. He's out in the barn shovelling manure and swearing to himself. I'm fairly sure that he'd like to apologise again, but this time I think Andy is going to take longer to cool off."
"Oh?" I said in a rather noncommital manner.
"Yeah. I think he might have said something stupid and she's really riled this time."
"Jeez, kicking her out of the house like he did last time wasn't bad enough?"
"I think he told her that there was no reason she couldn't come home now, since she was no longer pregnant or something equally as dumb."
"Oh boy!" Lisa-Marie said as she walked up to us. "I think that would set Andy off."
Both Willy and I just nodded in agreement.
"Oh, by the way, Tom, Mom agrees with me. She thinks I should just pack in my course since the rest of it's going to be about advertising, especially now that Andy is going to need someone around to lean on for a while."
"Well, I'm not about to argue with you over it right now. I think we'd better get ready to leave. I'd like you to grab a couple of blankets, some winter clothes for Andy and her winter boots too. Oh, and a couple of the old pillows from one of the beds upstairs. Let's at least make her comfortable on the trip back." I sighed as I gestured at the window. "Looking at this weather, we'd better be prepared for just about anything."
"Do you have a shovel in the car?" Will asked.
"Good point." I nodded at him. "I did move my flat spade to the pickup the other day. We'd better put that in the trunk in case we have to dig our way out of a snow bank. Other than that, the car is ready for winter. I've even got chains in the back if we need them."
"You seem more worried about this snow than you were about the blizzard the other day. Why?" Lisa-Marie asked.
"Well, the roads are already iced over. Now we've got wet snow on top of that." I explained. "The snow packs on top of the ice, but it doesn't bond to it and when you drive on it, it fills up the space between the studs on the tires. Depending on how deep it is, you get hardly any traction at times and lots at other times. Driving in conditions like this is like skating on thin wet ice; you never know what to expect."
"What I hate is how it builds up as ice on the windshield wiper blades." Willy complained. "When I took Mom home, I had to stop in our yard and break the wipers out of a coating of wet ice that formed just on the trip from here to there."
"Oh yeah, that's another lovely thing about snow like this." I agreed as I got up to get ready.
I went out to warm up the car and get the spade from the truck while Willy waited to help Lisa-Marie with her bundle of clothes and blankets. I had to sweep about two inches of wet snow off the roof of the car before I could open the door. If I hadn't, it would have fallen inside when I opened the door and I didn't really want to make the trip sitting on a wet seat.
The car wasn't really warm by the time they came out, but the weather didn't look like it was going to improve and I didn't want to wait any longer. When we drove out the driveway and got onto the road, my worst suspicions were confirmed. It felt like I was driving on a skating rink and the studded tires didn't seem to be helping one iota.
It took us over twice as long to make the trip to the hospital that day compared to previous night. By the time we got there, I was feeling the tension in every muscle and I heaved a huge sigh of relief as I found a place to park near the hospital entrance.
Andy was still in her room when we went inside. In fact the doctor was just doing his afternoon rounds and he seemed surprised to see us.
"Doesn't any sort of weather slow you people down?" He asked quietly.
"It slowed us down. We just left earlier." I answered. "Andy said she could come home, so we're here to make sure she has a good trip."
"You're Tom, right?" He looked at me.
"Yep."
"Could we step across the hall for a moment? Andrea wants me to talk to you."
I looked at him, then at Andy. She nodded her head, so I nodded at him, then followed him across the hallway and into a short hallway that was the entrance to another room. He turned and looked at me with a frown.
"Andrea has explained to me that she is staying with you because of a family disagreement, is that correct?"
"Yes."
"However, you go to college during the week, don't you? You do realise that she shouldn't be left alone right now?"
"We know that. Lisa-Marie is actually quitting her course so she can remain at home with Andy. If Lisa-Marie needs any help, Willy comes by twice a day. Then too, Andy's folks live just half a mile down the road." I explained. "I think she'll be well looked after."
"I thought she didn't get along well with her family?"
"Well, since you're her doctor, I suppose you should know that the pregnancy wasn't welcomed by her father." I sighed. "He actually asked her to leave home if she wouldn't get an abortion, but now he wants her to come back. Andy is reacting to that. I don't think they'd let her come to any harm because of the disagreement though."
"I see." He nodded slowly. "And you were Andrea's refuge, were you?"
"I suppose you could call us that." I nodded in turn. "I'd just say we were her friends."
"So you aren't coercing her in any way?"
"Not that I know of." I smiled. "I think she's got a strong enough personality to tell us off if we ever tried."
"I see. I can also understand something of Andrea's trust in you." He paused and took a deep breath. "You're going to find that Andrea's temperament will have changed somewhat. She won't seem to be the same person as she was, at least not part of the time."
I nodded, accepting that. "Dr. Timmins, I've lived on a farm and been a farmer all my life. I've seen animals that have lost their young and I understand how they react. Is she going to be that much different?"
"I'm sorry. I don't understand."
Somehow I couldn't bring myself to talk to him about my family and about our experiences with a child that was lost during pregnancy just then. Yet I had to answer him. For some reason I thought about the cows in a film about bovine brucellosis that I'd seen at the college and I talked about that.
"Well, if a cow loses her calf, usually she'll seem to change and become temperamental. She'll act like she's exceptionally lonely, yet at the same time, she won't want company. She'll hunt for the calf, but she'll seem to act like she's dejected, and she'll either try to get away from other cows that have claves, or she'll crowd in too close." I shrugged. "It's as if the cow doesn't know what she wants and at times it seems as if she just wants to give up. I know it's even worse for a woman because they grieve a lot longer. Cows aren't extremely intelligent."
"Those are some very astute observations and I'd suspect you're a fine herdsman." He nodded. "I think you have a fair idea of what Andrea will be going through. However, what I worry about in a case of this sort is the dejection and despondency that the patient may feel."
"I can understand that." I nodded. "Which means that we have to watch out for depression and things of that sort, right?"
"Oh yes, depression, anger, sadness. All of the negative emotions." He looked concerned. "To change the subject, how has Lisa-Marie been? Has this situation changed in the way she's reacting?"
"Umm?" I had to think and I shook my head slowly. "I really don't know? I can't say that she's acting the way she was, but she's so full of concern over Andy that I don't think she's had time for anything else."
"And, you've been rather tied up as well, haven't you?" He nodded.
"Oh yeah. I haven't had a lot of sleep." I sighed. "Can I ask a question or two?"
"Oh, most certainly."
"Well, last night you said the foetus that Andy lost was deformed and wouldn't have been viable. Could the herbs she's been taking have done that?"
"Oh no, there was a genetic defect." He paused, then seemed to make up his mind about something. "Perhaps I should explain. The human body is an extremely complex organism and each and every one of us is a combination of the DNA of two other individuals. Sometimes that combination goes through a mutation, perhaps a stray neutrino wandered in and modified the DNA string of either the egg or the sperm. Sometimes the result is simply not viable and that's where I would class this case.
"Now, Andrea will possibly try to blame herself in some way, but there is no way to assign fault in any way to anyone. This was simply a case of genetic failure in the original combination of gametes. Andrea's body was able to discover that fault as the foetus developed and it simply rejected the developing embryo. There is no way that any herb could have caused the abortion."
"Okay." I sighed. "I was thinking that we've all been using Fran Lowther's herbs for the last week. I thought perhaps Andy might have reacted badly to one of those."
"Oh, I would rather doubt that Mrs. Lowther would be that careless. She has a reputation to preserve as a supplier of herbs to some of the major natural health concerns so she is extremely careful in her suggestions." He frowned at me. "Which brings to mind a question on my part? Has Mrs. Lowther been appraised of this situation?"
"No, she's out of town right now and we haven't been able to reach her."
"I see. Well in that case, I think I should see Andrea for a few moments before she leaves. It might be an idea to have some form of antidepressants available to her." I was about to protest, but he lifted a hand as he continued to speak. "I won't be suggesting anything like the medications that Lisa-Marie was taking. What I will suggest is a form of antidepressant that will not react in an adverse manner if Andrea does use any of the calming herbs which Mrs. Lowther might suggest. I'd also recommend that you contact Fran; I know she's been quite concerned about you and your family."
I had to smile because he had second guessed my worries, but he surprised me when he reached out a hand to shake mine.
"I do admire your care and concern for others, Tom." He smiled in return. "Now, I would imagine that Andrea and Lisa-Marie will be looking for you, and I do wish to see Andrea for a few moments before she is formally released from my care. Perhaps we should go to them?"
When we went back to Andy's room, Willy was waiting in the hall. Dr. Timmins asked me to wait with there too and in a few moments, even Lisa-Marie came out to join us.
"We're going to have to stop at a drug store." Lisa-Marie announced. "Dr. Timmins is suggesting that both Andy and I might benefit from some additional help until we get our heads straightened around a bit. He says the pills he's prescribing won't cause any bad reactions from either the herbs or the other medications that I was on."
"Do you think you'll need them?" I asked.
"Yeah, I do." She sighed heavily. "This is a depressing situation."
"Okay, but we need to talk to Fran about them too."
"Well, she's supposed to call this evening. I don't know how to reach her until then."
After that short exchange we all fell silent and simply waited. It was only moments before the doctor and a nurse came out of Andy's room, pushing her in a wheelchair.
"I still say that I can walk." Andy was protesting.
"Hospital policy." Dr. Timmins smiled at her. "It's an insurance thing. We'll let you walk from the door to the car, just as long as your brother walks beside you so you don't fall."
I rushed outside to bring the car as close to the front door as I could. Then Willy and Lisa-Marie escorted Andy to the car, walking on each side of her as if they were there to catch her. Then even after Andy was in the car, I had to wait as Lisa-Marie fussed about, making sure Andy was comfortable. Finally, after asking Andy if she was comfortable for the third time, she was satisfied and she let me start driving, but warned me to take it carefully.
Because I wanted to get Andy home as quickly as possible, I immediately drove to the nearest drugstore which happened to be the one the doctor suggested I use. Since I went in alone, I expected an argument about getting the prescriptions filled because they were made out to Lisa-Marie and Andy. Not only did I get no argument, but I was pleasantly surprised that the prescriptions were ready when I got there. When I questioned the pharmacist about it, he laughed told me that the doctor had called him and had explained the reason for my hurry. I was impressed with Dr. Timmins' foresight.
While I was inside the drugstore the heater in the car was on, which meant that the windshield heated up, as soon as I started to drive again, the falling snow was turning into a freezing slush as it hit the windshield and it stuck to the windshield-wiper blades like glue. In only a few miles I had to pull over and stop so that I could clear the ice from them. All the way home, I had to contend with that as well as the extremely slippery roads. Every time I pulled over to clear those windshield-wiper blades I was worried about getting into a slide and ending up in the ditch.
It seemed like an awfully long trip too, part of that because no one was saying anything. I was concentrating on my driving and I think Willy was trying to copilot the car so he was probably just as attentive to the road as I was. Andy simply didn't seem to want to talk. For once, Lisa-Marie gave up trying to start a conversation after the first few attempts. Thank goodness for the tape deck. Otherwise, I think the rumble of the engine and the whacking sound of the frozen windshield-wipers as they iced up at weird intervals would have driven me nuts.
It was a huge relief to pull in the driveway and park close to the house. Willy came inside with us to make sure Andy was okay, then he went right back outside to do the chores. I decided that I wanted a break so I went down to the barn with him and since I hadn't milked a cow in a while, I grabbed the milking bucket and the stool.
"You want to milk tonight?" Will looked at me like I was out of my head.
"Yeah, do you mind?" I laughed at him.
"Not one bit." He laughed. "I've got more cows to milk when I get home."
I sighed and got down to the job. For me there has always been something relaxing about milking a cow. I suppose it's a combination of the seated position you have to be in, as well as the fact that you are accomplishing something that takes almost no thought. Your mind can wander as your forehead is pressed into the flank of the cow and your hands are squeezing and relaxing in a steady rhythm.
Then too, there's the sound of the milk striking the bare metal of the bucket as you first start and then the satisfying slurp of each stroke of your hands as the milk gets deeper and a foam builds on the top of it. Each of the small squirts of milk makes it's own individual note as the bucket slowly fills. Something about that combination of sounds sends me of into a mental space where I can think about problems and not be disturbed by the world around me.
"Hey, are you awake?" I heard Willy ask.
"What? Did you say something?" I lifted my head to look at him.
"Yeah, I did. I asked you a question. What were you and the doc talking about for so long?"
"Lisa-Marie, Andy, Fran, herbs, cows, abortion, pills, I think that was all."
"What did he have to say about Andy?"
"That's she's likely to be depressed. That she might blame herself for losing the baby. That she might get angry. That she might cry." I paused. "Actually the last thing he said was that she'd probably suffer from almost all of the negative emotions."
He sighed deeply and leaned against the pen across from me, then didn't speak for a moment or two.
"What do I tell Mom and Dad?"
"That she's having a rough go of it. And, that we might need help, but if they can, it might be best to give her some time before they push her in any way." I turned my head to look at him. "I really wish things hadn't gone the way they have. Lisa-Marie and I had our near future all planned out and then life decided to throw us several curve balls in a row."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'd be willing to bet that you never expected to be here. At least not from what you've said."
"You've got that right." I snorted.
He grunted softly as he stood up straight and went back to work. Then suddenly he stopped and looked back at me with a weird expression on his face.
"Do you think Andy is upset with Jean?"
"I doubt it, but I don't know. Cripes, she's your sister, why don't you ask her?" I shrugged my shoulders.
"I'm afraid that if I do, Andy will get mad at me." He sighed.
"I wouldn't worry about it. I think right now Andy needs friendship and support. I'm actually hoping that she calms down so she and your folks settle whatever the problem is between them."
"Well, you and Lisa-Marie are part of the problem. I think Dad feels that if you hadn't been so willing to take her into your home, she might have come home already. On top of that, he knows that right now she's living here on your charity and he feels that the whole family owes you."
"I think I'd better talk to your old man." I growled. "Andy is Lisa-Marie's buddy and what Lisa-Marie wants, she usually gets. Since Andy has been helping to look after Lisa-Marie when she had problems, I'd say it was a fair exchange." Then I swung my arm around in a half circle. "On top of that, look at this barn would you? You've been doing my chores for me as well as I'd do them myself and you're doing it for peanuts. Then you're old man has my pig down at your farm eating his feed while she takes her time coming into season. Jeez Man, I owe your family, not the other way around."
Willy looked at me and got a silly grin on his face, then nodded his head. "Yep, you'll have to tell the old man that yourself. You forget that he feels that we're still working off years of favours that we owed to Silas."
"You tell him from me that any debt you owed Uncle Silas was paid in full the moment you folks stepped in and cared for the place after his death. You didn't have to do that, but you showed your respect for the man by doing it. I appreciate that more than you'll ever know."
"Oh Hell, that's just being neighbourly." Willy scoffed.
"Yeah, well Andy staying here is just neighbourly too."
"Do you have an answer for every argument I make?" He chuckled.
"Probably." I had to grin myself. "I did win a few debates at school."
I was finished stripping the cow and stood up slowly, giving her a final pat on the rump as I stepped away. Willy grabbed the milking stool and hung it up, then glanced around the barn. I hung up the bucket so it wouldn't spill, then we went out the back door of the barn and looked into the cattle shed and the little corral where the beef cattle were kept.
"Do you think it's going to be cold enough that we should give them more bedding?"
"Naw, look at them. They're under shelter and bedded down well. I'll bet they've barely been up and around all day." I shook my head. "We'd just disturb them."
"Yeah, in a cold snap like this they don't move much. Maybe get up and have a few bites, and a drink, then it's back to lie down."
"Strange, it's not really that cold." I held out a bare hand, showing that I didn't even need gloves to be outside for a short while.
"They're still reacting to last week's storm and then that short chinook we had. It's screwed up their thermometers."
I just laughed. "These guys are fine. They've got water and feed and they're bedded down for the night. Let's leave them alone."
"Well I might as well head home then."
"You'd better come inside and at least speak to your sister first." I frowned. "I'd like to see you do that after chores every day for a while. Let's give her one constant that she can count on."
"An irritation you mean." He sighed.
"Oh come off it." I snorted as we went back through the barn door and closed it up for the night. "Some days she may be irritated, but she'll look forward to it as well. Besides, you wanted to ask her about Jean didn't you?"
"I guess." He sighed again. "Damn, life is so bloody complicated."
Something about that made me snort with laughter and I grinned at him. "Well, from where I stand, your life looks fairly serene. Just try suddenly inheriting a farm and having to move fifty miles, then make new friends and have people around you doing things you don't expect."
"Yeah, the grass is always greener in the other guy's pasture, isn't it." He managed a small smile. "I'm just worried that since Jean is Fred's sister, Andy might be upset with me for still wanting to be with her."
"Oh, I think Andy knows they're completely different personalities."
After beating the snow off our boots on the doorstep, Willy got the door for me and we went inside the house. We were surprised to see both Lisa-Marie and Andy sitting at the kitchen table and talking quietly. I took the bucket of milk to the back porch so I could look after that while Willy found a seat at the table with the women. A moment later Lisa Marie came to talk to me as I turned the hand crank on the cream separator.
"Problems?" I asked quietly.
"Not really." She smiled. "I just thought that they're family and need some time alone."
"Good idea. Did I ever tell you that I'm marrying you because you constantly take me by surprise?" I grinned. "At least with you around, I'll never be bored."
"Why do you say things like that when you're doing something that you can't stop and that makes it impossible for me to give you a hug?" She laughed quietly, nodding her head at the separator. "We need an electric motor on that thing so we can turn it on and forget it. Then you won't be bobbing around like an idiot as you crank it."
"Nah. Not worth it for just this one time." I grinned. "I'll just keep cranking and collect the hug later."
"Umm, there is one other thing, just why are you doing it? We could just put the milk in the fridge, then skim the cream off the top."
"Oh, I see. Well, the other day when I was cleaning down in the basement, I found a butter churn, an old wooden butter bowl and even a butter press. I wanted to see how much milk we'd have to separate to get enough cream to be able to make butter."
"You want to make butter from the milk from our cow? Really?" She giggled.
"Well, right now I'm just seeing how much cream I get from milking one cow. Once I'm at home permanently, I was thinking of milking four or five cows. That way I can use the skim milk to help raise wiener pigs." I grinned. "If I do that, the money I get when I sell the wiener pigs should pay for the cost of buying and feeding them plus the cost of feeding and milking the cows. I get the cream for no further investment. If I can make and sell organically produced butter, there's a profit for the farm."
"So, let's get this straight. You buy wiener pigs and raise them using organically grown grain and skim milk. That means you can sell those for a higher price than regular pigs. I suppose the calves from these cows you're planning on milking will be raised organically, so they'll bring top price too. Now you're talking about butter. What else are you planning on selling?"
"Anything we can make a profit on." I laughed softly. "Come on dear, think outside the box. Maybe we can set up a roadside stand and sell vegetables, but this far from town it seems like a poor idea at the moment."
"Why did you get this sort of idea today of all days?" She stared at me. "Oh, by the way, do you even know how to make butter?"
"Oh yeah, when I was a kid I helped Uncle Silas make butter one day when I was visiting. It's not that hard, just time consuming and I can think of several ways to cut down on the labour."
"Oh boy, and you talk about me surprising you." She snorted. "We have a friend who needs our help and you're thinking about the farm."
"Whoa, don't get mad about what I'm doing." I sighed. "Right at the moment, I felt that I needed a distraction, I can only spend so long thinking about the fact that Andy's lost a baby or I'll go completely nuts."
"Oops, I forgot." She looked chagrined. "This is almost as bad for you as when Mom lost her baby three years ago, isn't it?"
"Yeah, do you know that today in the hospital, I couldn't even tell the doctor about Pam losing her baby. I made up a story about how a cow would react if she lost a calf." I knew I was getting tears in my eyes. "I think I really impressed him about what a good farmer I am and really I was exaggerating the things I've seen cows do on a bloody film, just so they'd seem to react more like Pam did."
"Well, don't feel bad about it. I haven't told Andy about Mom either." Lisa-Marie was crying now. "It is different though. I mean Mom's was an accident but . . . Oh. I don't know."
The milk was almost all through the separator and even if it hadn't been, Lisa-Marie needed a hug and I needed one almost as badly. We were still hugging each other a moment later as Willy came into the back porch to tell me that he had to go and when I looked up at him with tears in my eyes, Andy was standing at his shoulder.
One glance at Andy's face and I knew we were going to have to tell them why we were upset, but it wasn't something that I wanted to think about, let alone talk about. Then too, I didn't think now was the time to have Andy hear the story.
"We'll be with you in a minute or two, okay?" I spoke quietly. "We just need a bit of time."
As soon as I said those words, I knew it was the wrong thing to say because I knew Andy was going to feel that she was imposing on us, yet what else could I have said?