Chapter Fourteen
- Caution - Signal Function Changed . . .
When I awoke the next morning, Mom was gently shaking me with her hand on my shoulder. That astounded me, first, because Dad usually wakened me by knocking on my door, and secondly, because the second I awakened I knew something was strange and different. I was being cuddled by a warm body, not just any old body either; Carissa lay at my side. However, after a brief instant I realised that not only was she fully dressed, but she was also lying on top of the blankets that were covering me.
I stared at Mom's face for a few seconds, just long enough to register in my sleep fogged brain the fact that she was smiling. Then I tried to turn my head to look at Carissa, but all I could really see was her hair because of the position she was in. Her head lay on my chest and she was breathing deeply, still sound asleep.
"Holy cow!" I managed to gasp, then Mom chuckled.
"You're not in trouble, if that's what's worrying you." She said quietly. "But, the two of you had better get yourselves in gear and get moving. You have a test to write his morning and so does your girlfriend."
"But, Mom, why is Carissa . . .?" I barely whispered.
"I don't think she slept much last night." Mom answered softly, almost laughing. "I heard you two go to bed about midnight, but when I got up at five, she was sitting in the kitchen. We talked for a while as I got coffee on the stove and got the rest of the family mobile, then half an hour ago I sent her in here to wake you. When she didn't come back out, I came looking for the two of you."
"Half an hour?" I stared at Mom in surprise. "That's quite a while for you to wait isn't it?"
"Well, I thought you two deserved a few minutes alone, but after sixteen years, I've come to know your habits fairly well." Mom chuckled. "I suspected you were still asleep when I hadn't heard you run to the bathroom. You're a lot like your Dad in that way and I know he needs a bathroom break right after he wakes up."
"Mmmnn." Carissa moaned softly just then, perhaps disturbed by Mom's voice.
She was laying on the arm that was in a cast, pinning it to the bed. I could feel her shift slightly, then suddenly she lifted her head and stared at Mom. I couldn't help but chuckle when she squeaked softly, almost like a mouse.
"Oh, dear." She managed to say legibly, then she was scrambling to sit upright. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Crawford, I was only going to wake Chris with a kiss on the cheek, but when I laid down beside him, it felt so . . ."
"It's okay, Carissa." Mom laughed softly. "I think I understand, but you both need to hurry now or you'll be late."
With that Mom left and closed the door behind her, leaving us alone again. I was alone with Carissa and a major hard-on, a hard-on that I tried to cover by sitting up and letting the covers drop down to my lap. Of course when I sat up, I was suddenly face to face with Carissa and she smiled a thousand watt smile, but even I could see she was still tired.
"Hi." She whispered. "I thought we were in deep doo-doo for a minute, but your Mom is very understanding."
"Well, maybe she understands, but I'm afraid I don't."
"Well, I couldn't seem to sleep, so I was up most of the night. Then when I came to wake you up I made the mistake of thinking I'd snuggle close and wake you up by kissing and cuddling you. Unfortunately I fell asleep and looking at the clock, I guess I actually slept for half an hour or so. Now we're all going to be late if we don't both get moving."
"Hey, I was just thinking." I interrupted her. "You said yesterday that we didn't have any tests today. We both have a history test."
"We've both also have such a high average that we could skip the test and get a pass from our year's average." She laughed at me "But, since we're up and around we should get going and write the darn thing."
Then with a quick hug and a very brief kiss she rolled off the bed and followed Mom out the door.
I was still logy from being wakened so it seemed to me that it took forever to get dressed and ready to go to school that morning, but what I troubles I had were nothing in comparison to the fuss and muss that the three girls went through. First of all there were three of them and only two bathrooms in the whole house which really slowed things down. Secondly, the twins hadn't really come prepared to dress for school, in other words the clothing they had with them wasn't exactly what they wanted to wear. The surprising thing to me was that not only did Beth get involved with helping the two sisters get ready, but so did Mom. It wasn't that they were physically involved, but they were busy making suggestions and they even lent the two girls clothing and makeup, things of that sort.
To stay out of their way, I grabbed a couple of pieces of toast and a cup of coffee, then went out on the front porch. It was a beautiful June morning, the sun was shining, the birds were singing and I could hear the noises from the barnyard as Dad and Wil did the chores. To be honest the beauty of the day was almost lost on me though, my mind was mulling over all the changes that had happened in my life recently.
The one thing sitting out there on my own did was to allow me to get a handle on my feelings. It also led me to realise that I wasn't completely in control; what other people did had as much influence on my life as what I did and I was going to have to learn to live with it. In other words I made up my mind that I was going to have to be patient with others.
It was a good thing I made that resolve because that morning my patience was truly tested.
It seemed to me that it was taking an exceptionally long time for everyone to get ready to leave. Then of course we had to pack the twins' belongings into the trunk of my car; their 'holiday' on the farm was finished. After that Corinna and Wil had to say goodbye to each other before we could finally leave and from the way they were acting you would have sworn that they were separating for a few years instead of a few hours. On top of everything else, not only Beth and the girls were catching a ride with me that day, but so were Tom and George. It was a royal screw up getting mobile, but I finally managed to get everyone into my car.
The car was full. Everyone and everything we needed to take to school was loaded and we were underway. In the front seat, I was behind the wheel, Carissa sat at my side, then Tom was sitting at the other window. In the back seat, Corinna sat behind me, then Beth, and finally George sat near the far window. All of us had tests that morning and none of us was really in a great mood, but I think Carissa and Corinna were the most sober about the situation. At any rate no one was doing a lot of talking. Actually we all seemed to be in a world of our own.
To be honest I wasn't really paying attention. I was quite confident about the history test I was going to write, so my mind was more occupied by other things, mainly the road and my driving. On top of that the situation with Gramps Bender kept coming to mind. I was quite worried about his condition and I admit my mind was also occupied part of the time with the thoughts of what could or would happen if he was drastically incapacitated.
Once we were parked in the school parking lot, I made arrangements to meet the twins after our exam so that I could give them a ride home. Beth, George and Tom would be at school longer because they had more than one test that day. That meant they'd be catching the bus home. After everything had been arranged we all paraded inside.
The moment we stepped in the doors of the school we were met by members of the staff and those of us writing our grade twelve finals were called aside. It seemed that they wanted us separated from the rest of the students. I suppose it was meant to reduce any form of stress, but to be honest, the way the school staff handled the matter only served to make some people more nervous than they had previously been.
As soon as we were separated, we were led into one of the grade twelve home rooms, but to our surprise it was totally cleared of desks and everything else. That's when it was explained that we were going to have to write our exams in the gym, not in our regular classrooms. We were also warned that for the present test all we were allowed to take into the gym were pencils, pens and erasers, no books, no bags, nothing. As well we were warned that if we needed a washroom, we'd better take care of the matter right then; once we were in the gym if we asked to leave we wouldn't be allowed back inside until the test was completed.
There were several other rules, but to me they were all common sense so I zoned out and simply waited for the time when we were led as a group to the gym. Once we were there, we were seated at individual desks that were evenly spaced about four or five feet from each other. Finally we were given our individual test papers and after some further instructions we were given permission to start writing the exam.
Writing the test was easy, at least it seemed easy to me. The test period was set up for two hours, but I was done in just over an hour, which meant that I had oodles of time to review all my answers. Even then I turned in my paper and left the gym long before the two-hour period ended. Once I was out of the gym I went to my locker, cleared it out and took all of my personal belongings out to my car. After that I had to wait for Carissa and Corinna.
When Carissa and Corinna came out of the school, we talked to a couple of their close friends for a few moments, then I took the girls home. Although the twins had only been at our house for a few days it was hard to walk away from Carissa. Before I left her, I wanted her to know that I did care a lot for her. However it seemed strange to me to be giving Carissa a hug and kiss in the middle of the day, especially when I knew that both her mom and her sister were aware of what we were doing. In actual fact before I got away from their house I got hugs from all three of them, even Mrs. Coulter.
The feeling of strangeness carried on after I left the Coulter house. It seemed very weird for me to be driving through town in midmorning, but while I was in town I wanted to visit Grampa Bender. Unfortunately when I went to the hospital he was having a series of tests done and the nurse in charge wouldn't allow me to disturb him during the tests. She did tell me that he seemed to be progressing well though, which I thought was great news. However at the same time she warned me to pass on to my family that he was likely going to be involved in an extended convalescence, perhaps as long as one or two months.
That nurse hadn't helped my mood at all. I still felt weird as I was leaving the hospital, in fact, I felt almost completely lost. I wasn't sure what to do because I had too many things that were changing in my life and I needed some advise. I decided to go home and talk to my family.
Sitting down to lunch on a weekday with Mom, Dad, and Wil felt strange as well, but at least I had the comfort of being in my own home. It was finally dawning on me that part of the feeling of strangeness was being brought on by the fact that I was graduating from highschool and was going to be on my own in the world. I was going to be making decisions that were going to affect my life forever and I wasn't certain of myself. Trying to explain to my family was difficult, but think I got my point across after a few moments.
"Chris, I don't think I've ever seen you act so insecure." Mom smiled and reached out to touch my hand. "The one thing you need to remember is that we're here to offer advice and to support your decisions."
"And we're here to offer our opinions." Dad chuckled. "As well as that, your mom is right, we'll try to offer our support in any way we can."
"Just what is bothering you so much?" Wil asked with a frown. "We're so used to you being so certain of yourself that the way you're acting is completely strange to us, at least it is to me."
So I tried to explain.
"I think there are too many changes happening to me at once." I sighed. "I have so many options that I really don't know what to do."
Dad smiled and nodded. "Well, let's hear your take on what you're worried about."
I rolled my eyes and sighed again. "First off, that job offer in the city worries me. I know it involves a lot of delivery work and on top of that any time I spend in the shop entails a lot of fine work with my hands. Since I have a hand in a cast and a leg in another one, I'm not certain I can do the job. The cast on my leg could screw up my driving and the cast on my hand probably screws up my manual dexterity."
"Actually, I was talking to the owner of the electronics shop about that just this morning." Dad smiled almost apologetically. "He called to see how you were and I explained about your accident. He wanted you to know that the job was still there for you if you wanted it, but that if you felt that you wanted to pass on it for the time being, he could hire a local helper. He wanted me to tell you that he doesn't want to put you under any sort of pressure either one way or the other."
"Well, I think I might just pass on it for now." I sighed. "I really want to do it, but at the same time I think I should stay around here."
"Is the way you feel about Carissa affecting your thoughts about moving to the city?" Mom asked quietly.
"Maybe a bit, but to be honest, Grampa Bender's health has more to do with the way I feel." I admitted. "Somehow his place has to be kept up, but I'm afraid he's going to be in the hospital for a while. For another thing I've talked to him about the sublease on the valley and he was unhappy about the way it was set up."
"Actually your Uncle Tom and I are a bit uptight about the way that sublease has been handled as well." Dad sighed. "The way it was written was fine forty years ago when all the family lived on the farm, but now that a lot of the family has moved away to the city, it's not so good. Since our two families are the only ones living on the farm and actually working the land, it's rather unfair toward us. What with the profits from working the lease land being divided up amongst the whole family we feel we're really supporting them for nothing."
"Well, Grampa Bender did say he was going to change that." I said flatly.
"So how does that affect you?" Will demanded.
"Right now the sublease doesn't affect anything, not really." I admitted, then I shrugged. "The thing is that since I'm sort of screwed up for the job in the city, but you weren't counting on me being around here. I was thinking of looking after the place for Grampa Bender while he's in the hospital. You and Dad have your hands full here on the farm, so if I did take that extra chore off of your hands, it would make life easier around here."
"But could you handle looking after his place?" Dad asked.
"I don't see why not." I shrugged. "He doesn't have any huge amount of chores to do or anything of that sort. I can still get around fine and this new pair of casts is great. I can do a lot of the fiddly little things that need to be done without hurting myself, but if I do need help I can easily enough call you to have someone come and help me."
"I thought you tried to call yesterday and his radio didn't work?" Mom spoke up.
"Well, the radio here at home wasn't plugged in." I said flatly. "Carissa and I found that out when we came home from the hospital."
"Oh. That was probably either Beth's or my fault." She said quietly. "We were cleaning up the table it sits on the other afternoon and we had to move it out of the way. Maybe one of us accidentally unplugged it when we moved it."
"That doesn't matter." I waved my hand in dismissal. "If we agreed on a time to talk every day that would be best anyway."
"So you're planning on staying up there?" Will frowned at me.
"Well, not for the first while, I've got finals every day this week. I was thinking of spending a fair amount of time there though. It's a bit run down and there are a lot of little jobs that need doing, things that would make Grampa Bender's life easier after he gets out of the hospital."
"That brings up the question of how long he'll be in the hospital." Dad looked at me. "They haven't said anything officially, but didn't you mention something about overhearing some of the staff talking about that situation yesterday?"
"Yeah, the doctor and one of the nurses were talking about having a long term care bed ready for him after all his tests were done." I nodded. "I asked the chief nurse about it this morning when I was there and she said she expected him to be there for about six weeks or so. From what she said she seemed to think he needed some sort of long term care, maybe he's run down or something?"
"Well, that's not a surprise." Mom snorted. "If you consider how he's been living, it's no darn wonder. I think almost all he ate was either eggs, bacon, and toast or hamburger and potatoes. The man must have scurvy from lack of vegetables. On top of that he's always smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish."
"Oh come now, Liz. He didn't eat that badly." Dad grinned at her. "Besides, I think he's done darn well, after all he's almost ninety years old."
"He's eighty-seven and as stubborn as a mule." Mom snorted again. "Alice and I have said for years that he should be living in town and . . ."
"Grampa Bender simply doesn't want to leave his homestead." Will stated flatly and I nodded in agreement.
"I sure can't blame him, that place is beautiful." I added. "That's one reason I'd like to make sure it's looked after."
"I can understand how you feel about his little ranch." Dad nodded. "Actually I think you've done a fair bit of thinking about the situation, but before we give our okay for you to give the idea a trial, I'd like to talk to Tom and Alice to be sure they agree with me."
Mom frowned, then shrugged and called Uncle Tom and Aunt Alice on the telephone. They agreed to talk to us, but Uncle Tom suggested that we drive up to Grampa Bender's place and look it over before any decision was made. Dad and Mom thought that was a great idea so I suggested we go in my car.
Wil decided he didn't want to go along with us; instead he asked if he could borrow the pickup to go to town. He wanted to do an errand or two and I supposed that as well as that he wanted to drop in to see Corinna. I was surprised that Mom and Dad agreed with him, but I didn't say anything. It only took a few moments before we drove out of the yard, but Wil had already left. In fact the dust from his passage had settled before we drove into Uncle Tom's driveway to pick up him and Aunt Alice.*
When we stopped at Uncle Tom's, he and Aunt Alice both climbed into the back seat with Mom while Dad road shotgun up front and I drove. As I turned left from their drive, Dad and Mom started to explain the situation to Uncle Tom and Aunt Alice. I wasn't at all surprised at the debate that broke out amongst the four of them. We were well along the dirt road heading back into the hills and I'd slowed down to turn onto the side trail toward Grampa Bender's before Uncle Tom asked me a direct question about what I was proposing to do.
Since he'd chosen to ask me just before I crossed onto the government-owned lease land and we'd just driven through the cattle gate, I slowed the car and gestured at the land in front of us with my right hand.
"The lease we have with Grampa Bender is really dependent on our two families." I said quietly. "Not only do we farm almost two thousand acres of bottomland, but we do a lot of maintenance on the whole lowland area of the valley. In fact we've been maintaining the fences and everything on the lower end of the valley for years, just so we can rent it out. At the same time Grampa Bender has been looking after the top end with a little help from us when he asks for it. The rest of our family in the city doesn't help a darn bit and it stretches us pretty darn thin at times. Right now is one of those times."
"So what are you suggesting?" Uncle Tom asked.
"Well, I know that Grampa Bender was thinking about changing the terms of the sublease when it comes due." I sighed. "I just want to try to make sure that he thinks kindly of us when he makes any changes."
"In other words you're planning on buttering him up?" Aunt Alice suggested quietly.
"Yeah, I guess so." I shrugged. "But I do love it up here at this end, especially after a person gets above the cliff and into the upper part of the valley. I'd actually love to live up here."
"What would you do, ranch? You certainly can't do much farming up here on the top end, not unless you go nuts with a bulldozer and clear a few hundred acres of trees." Dad smiled at me.
"Oh, Willard." Mom broke in. "Uncle Toby has been ranching for years and as far as I can see he's barely managed to stay alive on the little bit he makes. There certainly wouldn't be enough income to sustain Chris as well, especially not at his age. Besides, he still needs an education and I expect that in not too many years he's going to be starting a family of his own."
"Well, this is certainly no place to raise kids." Aunt Alice agreed with Mom. "I mean just look at this road."
Of course just at the time she said that I was one the steepest grade of the cross country trail, climbing up the slope from the lower part of the valley to the upper section. It was steep, in less than a mile the trail climbed upward several hundred feet and part of the trail had a grade of well over one foot in ten.
"I think it's bit early to worry about kids. Besides, if I do meet someone and end up having kids, I'd like them to be home schooled anyway. However, that's far in the future." I blushed, then plowed ahead. "Right now Grampa Bender is still living here, he's just in the hospital for a visit, but the place needs to be looked after while he's away. With circumstances falling the way they have, I seem to be the person who can step in and do that without screwing up anyone else's life too much. The rest of my dreams aren't important right now."
"Well, there is just over eighteen months left on the old sublease." Dad sighed heavily. "I hate to say it, but the problem is that we have to realise that Grampa Bender could die before that time."
"Yes there is that." Uncle Tom admitted. "We've grown so used to him just being here that I suppose we never thought about that possibility. I know I haven't given it much thought."
I suppose we all were somewhat disturbed by the idea that Grampa Bender might pass on. At least no one spoke about anything for several moments; instead we rode on in silence, each person keeping his thoughts to himself. I know that I had a tendency to shy away from facing that possibility in my thoughts about his ranch. Somehow, no matter what I was daydreaming about, I had always visualized him as being somewhere in the background. That day though, the very real possibility of his demise seemed to stare me in the face.
No one had spoken for several minutes as we drove through alternating patches of trees and grassy glades, not until the car crested the final knoll overlooking Grampa Bender's place. I slowed the car to a stop and we all gazed down at the pastoral scene for a few moments. The scene had changed from the day before and I didn't fall into the sense of foreboding that I'd had then.
Today several cattle grazed in the small pasture behind the barn, a fat sow rooted in a corner of her pen, chickens scratched and strutted in their fenced yard and on the front porch of the cabin, a black and white Border Collie lifted its head to gaze at us, then rose to its feet as if preparing to either greet friends or repel intruders. The door to the house was still closed and although no smoke crept out of the old log cabin's chimney, I felt a sense of peace, not one of anxiety.