Chapter 2 - Detour - There's a muddy road ahead
All the rest of those in my class who graduated were eighteen or nineteen years old, while I was only sixteen. However, to my surprise, as I was driving slowly through town on my way home, a carload of the other grads and their dates flagged me down and invited me to a house party. What I didn't know, was that they were planning on getting me drunk and then making a fool of me in front of everyone else. You see to those guys, even if I had my own car and the highest grades of the class, I was still just a little kid. Dad had told me I had the next day off. George and Tom had even stayed home and were going to do my morning chores for me, and I had been having a bloody awful night. When one of the guys who was graduating as well said he wanted to buy me a drink, I was suddenly in the mood.
I just grinned and said "Lead on McDuff, whither thou goest, I shall of needs follow."
That drew stares and shaking heads, but they did get the idea that I was willing, so they took me to the party. Now, you've got to know these kids weren't really mad at me, they just felt that I was like a white crow in a flock of black ones. Actually most of those kids have spoken to me since they've grown up and they had a begrudging respect for me. To them I was the kid who beat them for grades and talked a grown man into trading a good car for a piece of junk that I'd hauled out of the dump. It certainly wasn't that they wanted to hurt me, I guess it was just that I had accidentally managed to make them feel embarrassed by beating them at something or other and they wanted to pay me back a bit. At least that was how most of them felt, there were one or two who had stronger feelings
At the party, I was in such a hurry to get involved that I hopped out of my car, slammed the door closed behind me, and didn't even realise I'd locked my keys inside. That was probably the smartest thing I did all night and it was an accident. Wine flowed like water and beer was even more readily available. Of course, that really didn't mean much to me, I had an older brother and so did Tom, which meant I was used to drinking wine and beer. On top of that, I had my experiences with Grampa Bender.
Oh, haven't I mentioned Grampa Bender?
Grampa Bender was my mother's elderly uncle and he lived several miles from town, up in the foothills. For years Tom and I had ridden horses up there at least once a month and after we got one of the Model-'A's running it became our job to run his groceries up to him every week or two. Now to Grampa Bender we were 'growed up enuf' that for the last two or three years whenever we showed up there we had to sit down, chat a while and have a little snort of his 'home squeezins' to 'ease our parched throats' while we gossiped about the family. We soon learned to pace our drinking and take it easy. Every time we left, he used to always make sure we had a pint or two to carry along, 'ta hep ya get home.' To us that meant we used to even have some 'booze' to share with George so we could watch him get happy and even more garrulous than normal.
I'm quite sure our parents knew about what went on when we visited him. I mean twice a year dad used to haul Grampa Bender a load of corn or barley for Grampa's 'brood sow' and I'm sure he came back with a few jugs. I do know he used to come back quite 'happy'.
Anyway, back to the party, unbeknownst to me, several of the girls were in on this 'joke' as well as the guys and even though I knew enough to pace myself, when a seventeen or eighteen-year-old dish wants to share a drink with you what would you do. I admit it, I got hammered, but the funny thing was the more hammered I got, the more stubborn and less cooperative I was to their suggestions.
Now there were two sisters, the Coulter twins, we used to call them the 'refrigerator' twins or the 'Ice Cubes' because people said they had frozen more guys than the arctic circle. The party happened to be at their house because their parents were away, and I found out later that they were in on the 'joke' as well. By four o'clock in the morning, I think they were getting impatient, not only had I drunk several bottles of beer and half a jug of wine, but I'd also put a good dent into a bottle of their dad's strongest whisky. They told me afterward that as far as they could see, I was still the soberest person at the party. I'm not sure if that was the reason, but I do remember them suddenly both being next to me and both of them being very friendly.
I also remember thinking that the party was starting to look a little bit like a war zone. There were kids passed out on the floor, one guy woofing in the can, another one was outside the house, leaning over the edge of the porch and kissing a bush, or at least resting his head in it. The sisters convinced me that they wanted to talk 'in private' and that we should get away from the 'animals'. As they lead me past their bedrooms, they checked the doors and both of them were locked from the inside. The only place left in the house that wasn't loaded with kids too drunk to function, too wasted to care, or too busy 'getting busy', was their folk's bedroom, I remember them sitting down with me on their folk's bed and I remember seeing a camera sitting on the dresser. I'm not sure, but I think I remember starting some sort of drinking game with them too.
The next thing I really do remember for certain is waking up between them in the morning. I was dressed in my undershorts, and nothing else, but both of them were draped over me and totally nude. Okay, remember, at this time I was exceptionally shy and here I was waking up with two of the most gorgeous and desirable women that I knew of at that time, two gorgeous women that no one else had ever even gotten close to seeing nude if the rumours were right.
These were the virgin princesses whose father had supposedly said he would castrate the boy who so much as touched either one. And they were nude, they were on top of me, and one had her nipple jammed into one of my ears. The other one was sort of nuzzling me on the other side, and each of my hands was resting between a set of round soft buns, their legs were spread, and my fingers were damp and gooey. I took a really slow deep breath and then I began to slowly and carefully ease my way out from under them. Darn if they didn't both whimper like they were complaining, but somehow, I made it out from between them, then watched as they snuggled against each other instead of me. I just found my clothes and got dressed, then snuck out of the bedroom as quickly and quietly as I could.
When I walked out of that bedroom, I found myself walking into the most GOD AWFUL STENCH I have ever smelled. Remember now, I was hung over so my stomach wasn't exactly settled, but that house stank. It stank of beer, and wine, and whisky, and vomit, and sex, and cigarette smoke, and God only knows what else, I don't even want to hazard a guess. I just held my breath and I bailed out. I ran, straight outside to my car . . . then I found out that I didn't have my keys.
Oh no! Had someone taken my keys last night so I wouldn't drive? Then I glanced in the window of the car. There they were, still in the ignition. I didn't even pause to think, off came my shoe. BANG, the heel went through the left side rear window and I was unlocking my door. I got home at ten minutes after noon on Saturday, getting met by my little sister who announced. "My GAWD, you reek. Have a shower or something, before you make me ill."
I showered and then went to bed and passed out until Sunday morning. Even then I had a hangover. Thanking about it as I did my chores, I was feeling rather stupid about breaking the window in my own car and I realised that I had panicked, which didn't make me feel too good either. On the way back to breakfast I stopped by my car to see what I'd have to do to fix it. What I found was that either George or Tom, or perhaps both of them, had fixed the window by replacing it with one from our old wreck and had even cleaned up the broken glass in the back seat. Dang. I owed them another favour.
I walked into the house to see my Mom, my Dad, and my little sister, Beth, sitting at the table waiting for me to join them for breakfast. While I was washing up, my little sister came to the bathroom door and peeked inside.
"You must be Sir Galahad or something," She giggled, "But darned if I can see the shining armour."
"What?" I groused, wiping my face and shoulders with a towel as I spoke.
"Well, all the ladies seem to love you." She threw over her shoulder as she headed back for breakfast.
"She's gone nuts" I thought, shaking my head.
When I got to the table, my whole family was grinning at me. It was getting to be a bit much.
"Okay, so I got stupid and drank a bit too much the other night. At least I didn't drink and drive." I admitted. "I couldn't have if I'd wanted to. I locked my keys in the car before I fell asleep at the party. The next morning I had to break the window in order to get in my car. Am I going to be tarred and feathered for it, or what?"
"Oh piffle." Beth waved her hand as if dismissing inconsequential details. "I want to know what you did to the 'Refrigerator Twins'. I took a call for you last night from Corinna and she raved about what a true gentleman you were, and how she was sorry she had misjudged you, and were you busy next Saturday?"
"Well, he sure must have done something. Her sister Carissa called and I took that one." Mom grinned. "She was almost crying, trying to apologise for not being as much of a lady as you were a nice guy, and it was only because no guy had ever treated her that nicely or made her feel so good. Then she wanted to know, did I think maybe you could come around and see her sometime before final exams start?"
"I think I took the topper call." Dad was laughing by now. "It was from Big Ed Yarowski, you know, your date Debbie's father. He said anyone who was that nice and that punctual about bringing his daughter home must be a pretty good guy, and would you like to have supper with them tonight?"
I had been hungry when I sat down, but all of a sudden I had no appetite at all. Girls were calling me? Girls were calling me and asking me out? Girls who were almost two years older than me were asking out the kid in the class? Now they wanted to go out with the guy that they had teased and kidded for four years, they wanted to go out with me?
"Aww, come on guys." I said finally, "A joke is a joke, but this is kinda cruel."
"Honest to God, Chris, cross my heart and hope to die. I wrote the message down because I couldn't believe it." Beth raved. "My God, what did you do? Is there a Lothario in there that we can't see? I mean, I've heard of smooth guys, but three women in one night, and all of them weeping and crying, panting for more?"
"I didn't do anything. I went to the grad dance, then took Debbie straight home. I was driving back here nice and slow when some of the other guys in my class invited me to a party. I guess I thought I deserved to let off some steam, so I went. We had a few drinks, but most of the people who were there aren't used to drinking, so the party was petering out. Then the 'Ice Cube' twins took me aside and we had a couple more drinks, but I guess all of us were tired or had just drunk too much, we fell asleep. When I got up to go through the house in the morning my stomach was a bit queasy so that I almost barfed from the stink and I ran outside. Then I was locked out and my keys were inside my car. I broke the window to get in and drove home. That's it, that's all, and it's the pure, simple, honest, unvarnished truth."
'Well, the truth, slightly edited.' I admitted to myself
"Aww hell!" Beth smacked her hand on the table. "Here I was hoping my brother had scored with both of those bitches. Dammit to hell, if I ever find out you had the chance and you were too much of a gentleman, I swear I'll . . . I'll . . . aw shit, I don't know what I'll do."
"Beth, that is quite enough." Mom snapped. "Your attitude shocks me."
"I'm sorry Mom, but those two frigging 'Ice Cubes' have lorded it over the whole damn school for the last three or four years. Guys spend tons of money, just trying to get into their pants and every one of them ends up broke and frozen out." Beth sighed deeply. "And this sounded so real, like Chris had broken through their ice barrier."
"Sorry, sis, I'm not an ice breaker, remember me, Mr Shy Guy?" I grinned at her. "You're about the closest thing to a girl that I can talk to."
"Oh Fuck You too." She snapped. "When is anyone in this family going to realise that I'm almost fifteen, one day . . ."
There's only one way to get Beth to shut up when she gets in her "I'm a grownup Dammit" mood. First you hug her like sixty and then you roll her in your arms, turn her butt up and pat her bottom just once, but not too hard. After that, when you set her down, you'd better make sure you have a clear path and a long run in front of you. She gets angry and when she gets angry, darn can that girl run. Of course after she's run both you and herself into exhaustion, she gets the giggles, then forgives you until next time and wants another hug.
By Monday morning when we went to school, I was hoping that all the rigamarole from the party would have died down. Fat chance! I didn't even get in the door before Corinna had pushed Tom away and was walking next to me saying, 'Good morning and did I feel okay and I was sure a lot of fun at the party and . . .' and then George was gone and Carissa was on my other side and she was yammering just as much. Then when we went inside, Debbie was waiting as if she wanted to talk to me.
But my little sister came to my rescue. She'd ridden to school on the bus, so she'd gotten there before me and she had seen what was developing. She cut me out of that crowd of girls like a well trained quarter horse cutting a fat steer out of a herd of heifers.
"Chris, please, can I talk to you? Chris please, please? Sorry girls, I gotta talk to my brother in private, it's important." And she dragged me off to a corner where we could be relatively alone, leaving the three girls to fume, impatiently waiting for me to get free of my 'nasty' little sister. Only I decided that right then I'd rather be with Beth than with them.
"I don't know what you really did, but the rumour going around the school is that you not only left Debbie delirious with delight on Friday night, but that you got into both of the 'Ice Cube's panties. I don't care if you did or not, but having all three of them chasing after you like this the very next school day is so much of an admission of guilt on their parts that no matter what they say, everyone is going to believe the rumour, dear Brother. So WAY TO FUCKING GO!" She was trying to look like she was frowning and she was whispering, but she was so excited she was almost bouncing. "Now, what do you have to say for yourself?"
"Nothing much, but thank you for the rescue. Now, how the hell am I going to stay away from them for the rest of the school year, Miss Genius; even you can't rescue me all the time?"
"Easy, you take them aside, one at a time. Then you tell each one that you're so desperately worried about your finals and about making a good grade for a scholarship that you'd really look at it as a great favour if they would wait until after school was done and then you could think about dating."
"But Dad has arranged for me to go to the city to work right after . . . OH!"
"Bingo!" She grinned. "For once in my life I am going to get to see the 'Ice Cubes' get frozen out."
"Little sister, you are a cast iron, ball busting, bitch."
"Make that bitch busting witch and I'll agree." She giggled, just as the class warning bell rang and she had to run off.
So I put on a worried frown and let that tenacious trio escort me to home room and my first class of the day. By the end of the day, I had managed to get each of them aside and alone for a few minutes. With my knees quaking in fear at even being alone with a girl to talk to her, I told each one that I really couldn't afford to even think about going out with anyone right then. I found myself telling each one that I absolutely had to do well on my finals and that I definitely had to concentrate on school work, but if she were a real doll . . . Well, you get the picture.
And I thought the whole thing would just fade away. Only it didn't, because . . . do you remember that camera I mentioned? Uh huh, well, when I opened my locker the next morning, there was a picture! It had obviously been slid under the door of the locker for me to find. It must have been taken shortly before I woke up. It was certainly me and definitely the twins. The only thing different from when I had woken up was both of them had their legs together, but in the picture I even had one hand resting on each girl's butt. The thing is, from the picture, it almost looked like both of the girls were trying to hold 'Mr Happy' through my shorts. I just stared at it not knowing what to do. So stupid me, I did nothing. I just went off to class.
I'd hidden the picture, but I soon realized it wasn't the only copy around. When I saw Debbie, she just stuck her nose in the air and walked away, I was hoping she was just reacting to the fact that she had seen me talking with Carissa the day before. Neither of the twins could have seen it yet, they were being perfect angels, smiling at me, but not bothering me, so I could 'concentrate'. Then at lunch, the shit hit the fan! During lunch, a younger kid went up to the twins with two envelopes and said that some guy had sent these to them, but he didn't know the guy's name.
I knew what was in those envelopes, but I still didn't have a clue what to do about it. I just stared in horrified fascination. Both of them opened the envelopes, screamed, and ran, I guess headed for home. I saw red. I headed straight for the principal's office, well almost straight, I stopped at my locker first. If I had thought about it, I don't suppose I would have done much, but damn it, no girls deserved to be treated like that, not even the 'Ice Cubes.' Just as I headed in the office door, I saw my little sister come charging down the hall, she must have seen one of those damn pictures too.
I ignored her though and stomped straight up to the school secretary, demanding to see Mr Gable, the school principal. When the secretary asked what it was about, I slapped the photo on the desk and told her someone was out to ruin my reputation and that of two Coulter girls at the same time. It's surprising how much reaction shock will get you. In a minute or two, I was in the principal's office.
I'm not sure exactly what I said, but in only a few minutes both my home-room teacher and one of my other teachers were standing there, telling the principal that the photo had to be a fake, that it was completely out of character for me. Then the phone rang and it was my father. Beth had called him and he was mad; he was on his way into town. His first stop was going to be the police station and his second stop was going to be to pick up Carissa and Corinna's father, then they were coming to the school. He told Mr. Gable, the Principal, that he wanted every one of the people who had been at the party assembled "because he was going to get to the bottom of this bullshit!" I could hear him clearly and since I was standing at least ten feet away from the phone, I knew he was MAD!
Good, I was pretty well wound up myself. None of this was my fault, maybe part of it was the girl's fault, but I was willing to bet that one of their ex-'suitors' who had struck out was actually at the bottom of this. An hour later, we had a confession, actually we had five of them. Two guys and three girls admitted that they had played drunk while getting me and the girls hammered, actually spiking our drinks. When we thought we were drinking beer or wine, we were drinking mostly vodka. Considering the amount they admitted that they had fed us, it was a bloody wonder we woke up at all.
Both of the guys had not only struck out with either one or the other of the twins in the past, but they had also tangled with me, trying to beat a little 'respect' into the little pipsqueak farm boy who acted so smart. Both of them had found out that I was tougher than they were. In fact it seemed that they had a lot of respect for how tough I was. When I had fallen asleep, they had managed to take of my shirt and pants, but I seemed to be ready to fight each time they had tried to take off my shorts. They had decided they didn't want to risk having a real fight with me even if I was almost passed out drunk. If I hadn't fought, I guess I would have been as nude as the girls. The twins hadn't been anywhere near as much trouble for the girls. They had been far too drunk. So the picture was totally posed and they had left us in the pose afterward, probably hoping that the twins would waken first and accuse me of rape.
That did it, I was screaming mad and Dad had to hold me back. Mom was busy holding back Mr. Coulter, the twin's father. But no one was holding back either of the twins, they headed for those five with revenge in their eyes. The guys were certain that the twins were after them and jumped away, unfortunately, they jumped toward my little sister, Beth. She swore afterward that she thought the two guys were attacking her.
Did I mention that Beth played center on the girls soccer team? While the twins went after the three girls, Beth tried to score a couple of goals, only she didn't have any soccer balls to kick, so she was actually trying to do it using the balls that the ring leader kept hidden in his shorts. Then she landed, but had managed to regain her footing in time to try a left footed corner kick on his buddy. It happened so fast that the cops didn't even have a chance to react. When they did, Beth was already backing away and acting scared. Since the two guys were crumpled into writhing heaps on the floor, the cops went after the Coulter Twins, quickly pinning their arms and pulling them away from the three girls who were now cowering on the floor as well.
For me, seeing all of the guilty parties lying on the floor, moaning, and begging for mercy, my mad was gone, All that was left was disgust. I really couldn't understand how five kids could be so screwed up in the head. The cops and the teachers finally got smart and we were separated from the culprits. In fact I think they may have had to call an ambulance. Beth had kicked that one guy hard. And, I think one of the girls had a bloody nose or something.
We got taken back to the principal's office and stuck in a sort of waiting room. One of the cops took me into the office and talked to me first, getting my version of the story. The cop and Mr Gable, the principal, tried to get me to talk quietly, but I let on I was still mad and I was loud. I admit that it was intentional. I was hoping I was loud enough that the twins could hear me next door, that way they would tell pretty much the same story. It really didn't take that long before I was lead back out. Then because they wanted me to go home for the rest of the day, I was separated from everyone else. Mom met me in the hallway, and I drove her home.
She was really quiet for a moment or two and then said "So, do you want to tell me the real story now?"
"Mom, I don't think I know the real story. What I told you and Dad on Sunday morning was the real story as far as I was concerned, I just left out that I woke up in Mr. and Mrs. Coulter's bed with both of the twins draped over top of me, and that they were totally nude. It scared me so much that I panicked. I managed to slip out of bed without waking them up, and I ran, okay?"
"So you woke up with two beautiful and willing young women, but you didn't do anything?" She sounded astounded.
"I don't know if they were willing or not, I didn't wait to find out." I sighed. "I may kick myself for the rest of my life, but right now I'm glad that I did what I did."
"Well, I am too." She laughed, and it sounded almost like a laugh of relief. "For a few minutes there, I was actually worried that you might be gay. I mean, a healthy teenaged boy, in bed with two nude girls and you didn't do anything?"
I almost drove off the road in surprise. Then I laughed and pulled over for a minute. Let's face it, we were on a narrow country road and I wanted to talk. I couldn't look at her face and drive too, so I pulled into a field approach, sort of a wide spot in the roadway, and I shut off the car. We must have talked for close to half an hour as I explained how shy I was around girls. In fact we might have talked for even longer, but Dad and Beth came driving up and pulled in behind us.
"Have you guys got car trouble?" Dad called.
"Nope, we were just talking, Dad." I called.
"I think I'll ride back home with your father." Mom smiled. "I see Beth is there, would you mind giving her a ride home. I think your Father and I need to discuss some things."
"Sure I can give Beth a ride, but am I in trouble?" I asked.
"No." She laughed, "But your father might be. Could you find some way to take at least an hour or two to get home?"
I think I blushed as she gave me a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, then slipped out of the car, leaving the door open for Beth. Beth looked like she was on top of the world when she jumped into the car. She was grinning from ear to ear.
"What are you doing here?" I asked. "Shouldn't you be in school?"
"You and I and the Coulter twins are suspended for the rest of the week." She grinned, then as Dad's truck pulled out and raced down the road, she broke into a giggle. "I'm not supposed to let you go home until chore time." She crowed. "I think that picture got Mom a bit aroused so she wants to go home and play with Daddy."
I just stared at her. I didn't really care about Mom and Dad at the moment. I was wondering just what the hell was going on otherwise.
"Why are you suspended?" I finally asked.
"For kicking Sid and Raymond in the nuts." She giggled. "It looked worse than it was, I mostly hit Sid's leg, he's gonna limp for a while and I actually hit Raymond flat footed, across his thighs. I didn't do as much damage as people think."
"Okay, and the twins are suspended because they attacked the girls I guess, but why am I suspended?"
"I think just on general principles. You were involved, so you must be guilty, that sort of thing. Oh, by the way, the five idiots? They got expelled. A week's classes and two weeks of tests before they finish high school, but they can't come back, ever!"
"What?" I stared at her.
"Yep, and Mr. Coulter is thinking of taking them to civil court."
"That would not be a good idea. His girls aren't totally innocent."
"I know." She giggled. "And neither are you, you bugger."
"Huh?"
"Well, I was pretty sure who had done it, so right after I called Daddy, I ran down and broke into Sid's locker. I picked the lock on the door and I found more pictures, the negatives too, I guess he didn't dare keep them at home or something. Did you think they'd only take one picture? He was planning a real smear campaign on you guys." She said quietly. "I'm almost sorry I didn't kick him square in the balls."
"Oh, my gosh; did you take them?"
"Unh huh, of course. Now Mom says we can't go home, and we're kicked out of school; it's a nice day, we have a whole bunch of pictures to look over and maybe destroy. Where do you think we should go?"
"You've got the pictures?"
"Unh huh, in a safe place, but before you get all mad and want to burn them; you should look at them and we should show them to the twins."
"WHAT?" I literally screamed.
"Oh come on." She grinned. "Please, I want to see their faces when they see these pictures. I want to see yours too for that matter. Besides, doesn't every guy want a set of porn pictures of himself with two gorgeous blondes?"
"I think you'd better just give them here and I'll . . ."
"Oh no," she interrupted. "I'm not giving them to you without the Coulter girls being with us. They need to know what they do when they're drunk too."
"Have you looked at them all?"
"Nope, just the first one, and it was different from the one you had, so I just crammed them back in the envelope, tucked it under my shirt, locked up Sid's locker, then I ran like hell to call Mom and Dad. Now, do we dare to phone the girls?"
In the long run, she won, as usual. We went back to town, and I ended up phoning the Coulter house. Mr. Coulter answered.
"Hi Mr. Coulter, it's Chris. I was just calling to make sure that the girls were okay." I said quietly, actually cursing that he had been the person who had answered.
"Oh hello, Chris. You're just the young man I wanted to speak to." He said loudly and I thought I heard one or the other of the twins say something in the background. "The girls are okay, thanks to you. Although after hearing what they actually admitted to doing . . ." He paused. "Chris, do you think you could drop around the house as soon as possible, I believe my daughters have a confession to make to you."
"If you mean that they were somewhat involved, Mr. Coulter, I'd already come to that conclusion."
"And you still wanted to protect them? My gosh, you really are a gentleman, aren't you?"
"Oh, I don't know." I laughed uneasily. "But if you want me to drop around the house, do you mind if my little sister comes along? She and I are both in town, but we were thinking of heading down to the river, just to relax after this bloody mess. I guess we could drop by for a few minutes."
"Hmm, your sister is with you, is she? Well, I'm not sure I should let these two out of the house, but it might be easier for them to admit the truth if I'm not with you. How long would you be?"
"You mean getting to your house? Just a couple of minutes, we're only at the drugstore. But as for the river, we have to be home by five at the latest to milk the cows."
"And a responsible young man would always be home to do the chores wouldn't he?" He chuckled. "I'll tell you what Chris, I'm supposed to keep a tight checkrein on these two, but after the responsibility you and your sister displayed at school, and since I have to do some work at the office yet today, I'm going to put these two under you and your sister's care until this evening. In fact, I think they owe you two, so I'm going to suggest that you take them with you and make them do part of your chores for you, hows that?"
"Unh, okay I guess, but can't we bring them straight home from the river?"
"You sound as if you're afraid of the girls?"
"In a word, yes!"
"Even if you have their parole to behave?"
"Sir, I am very shy, they are very forward. It's like oil and water. We are not a good mix."
"Oh, I think you three are an excellent mix." He laughed loudly. "I'll see you in a few minutes." And he hung up the phone.
Beth took one look at my face as I came out of the phone booth and asked. "What's wrong? Can't they come with us?"
"That's the problem, their Dad is insisting that they do come with us, and that we take them home afterward, so we can have them help us with the chores tonight."
"What?" She squeaked. "The 'Ice Cubes' milking cows, feeding the pigs, and cleaning the barn? Oh that's wonderful!"
Even I could see the humour in it when she put it like that. We were still chuckling when we got to their house. Mr. Coulter met us at the door and invited us inside.
"The girls will be right down." He grinned. "I warned them that they might want to wear clothing that could be worn while working and could be washed afterward. I'm not sure they were as enthusiastic about going with you after I told them what I had suggested."
"I can imagine." I smiled.
Beth giggled and his grin widened even more.
"I think a little time working on a farm would do them both a lot of good." He said quietly.
"Do they have a curfew when I need to have them home?"
"Well, since I saw those photos, yet they swear they are still virgins, I'm not very worried." He looked at me quite seriously.
"Unfortunately, things have changed since then." I smiled right back.
"Yes, they certainly have." He sighed deeply. "Just how old are you?"
"I'm sixteen, why?" I stared at him wondering where that had come from.
"Well son, they turned eighteen about a month ago and they just told me this afternoon that I had no legal right to tell them what to do with their bodies, They are right, but I . . ." He just let the sentence die and stared at me.
"Oh, poor you, and poor me." I sighed as well.
Beth started to giggle, trying to suppress it, but not managing.
"What is so damn funny?" I demanded.
"You." She laughed aloud. "Every guy inside of miles and miles has tried to make out with them and they're handing it to you, on a platter, but you're acting like it was . . . well, like it was a worse job than mucking out the pigs."
"I am not being handed anything." I growled, but underneath I could see her point and I was fighting a grin myself.
I didn't dare grin in front of Mr. Coulter. He looked so serious
"Beth." He said quietly. "Firstly, your brother is a gentleman and secondly he is an individual with a strong sense of independence. He feels he has the right of choice and he's perfectly right. At this moment, I have an extremely high regard for him, a far higher regard than I have felt for any of the other young men that my daughters have paraded through my house over the past few years. Now if the circumstances were different . . ."
"Daddy, are you pontificating again?" Carissa interrupted from just behind him.
"Isn't he always?" Corinna asked.
They were dressed in tight shorts and tighter halters with white tennis shoes, not what I would have worn on a farm at all. Beth and I simply stared.
"You aren't wearing that are you?" Beth said quietly, "Not out to the farm? Surely?"
"What's wrong with this?" Carissa asked. "We did bring other clothes if we get dirty and need to change." She held up a small bag and pointed to a matching one that her sister carried.
"We figured that we could wash off and these clothes are old, so if we get them dirty enough that they'd be too tough to get clean, we can just toss them." Corinna added.
"Oh boy." I just shook my head. "Mr. Coulter, they are spoiled and they don't have a clue."
That broke him up. "Oh I wish they could spend a month helping out on the farm." He chortled.
Beth giggled then and slipped over to him and gesture for him to bend down. She whispered something in his ear and he roared with laughter.
"Oh, that's a wonderful idea. Thank you, Beth, I'll do that."
"But, it's a secret for now okay?" Beth giggled.
"Absolutely, now you should get going or you'll have to rush straight home to do your chores." He hurried us out of the house.
Beth ran ahead and slid into the front passenger seat of my car, making it plain that the twins had the back seat. Although the twins frowned a bit, in a way they seemed to expect it.
As I drove away, one of the twins asked if we were really going to ask them to help with the chores. Since I was concentrating on my driving I didn't really know which one it was, but before I could answer, Beth did.
"Yep that was the only way your dad would let you come with us at all." She fibbed. "He said you were to help us by doing exactly the same things we have to do."
"But how will he know if we just help a little bit."
"I imagine he'll ask." Beth said plainly. "And I'm sure not going to lie about it, not after what you two almost did to my brother."
There was an edge to her voice that I had never heard there before and I risked a glance at her. Her jaw was set and she was staring straight ahead.
"Oh God, we are sorry about that."
"Yeah, sure. You're sorry you got caught." Beth snarled through gritted teeth. "I've seen you two frost every guy around."
"Maybe we did, before." I heard tears in that, or awful close and glanced in the rear view mirror. Carissa, at least, was crying, I couldn't see Corinna since she was sitting right behind me.
"You saw us on Monday." Now there were definitely tears and they started the twin seesaw with their conversation.
"The only trouble is there are two of us . . ."
". . . and only one Chris . . ."
". . . so dammit, we've got to be good . . ."
". . . maybe he'll pick one of us . . ."
". . . even if we'd share."
"Oh quit blubbering." Beth snapped, turning around in her seat. "And you might as well face it, Chris is shy and he doesn't seem to think he's ready for a lover yet, so don't either one of you get pushy with him. I happen to think he's swell and since he's my favourite brother, well, for me, his happiness is tops, okay?"
"Unh huh . . . Okay" They whispered.
"Good. However, we could use a couple of new friends." And she smiled. "Besides, I think I have something you want which I'm going to give to you and Chris as a sign of pure friendship, no cost at all and no strings attached."
"Pardon me?" I could see the frown on Carissa's face in the mirror.
"Well, you know that picture you saw?"
"Yes?"
"You didn't think that Stinky Sid would be satisfied with one pose did you?"
"OH MY GOD!"
"SHIT, HE HAS MORE PICTURES?"
"Not anymore he doesn't." Beth giggled. "But I do and I have the negatives. That's why we're going to the river. We decided that it was only right that since the pictures were of you three guys that all of you should see them and then burn them or whatever you want."
"Why not just destroy them now?" Carissa snapped.
"Yeah, why go through the trouble of . . ."
"Oh for crying in the bloody sink." Beth said loudly. "Am I the only person around who would love to have a picture of herself when she becomes old and grey that showed just how sexy she was when she was young?"
"But if someone found the pictures and blackmailed . . ."
"Carissa, that one picture that the cops have is going to guarantee that you and Corinna can't be blackmailed, at least not for a picture taken when you're with Chris. However, if you were really worried, what you could do is take out a joint safety deposit box, in all three of your names and make it so Chris has to be with one or the other of you to open it."
"Why should you get to see them then?"
"Well, first, I risked my ass to steal them. Second, because I happen to be the one who has possession of them now. Third, because I want to look after Chris's interests too and offer him my opinion. And finally, because I took the time to glance at them before and I wouldn't mind seeing them again. Whoever took them could be a great porn photographer one day."
"Oh GOD, did you say porn?"
"Yes dear." Beth giggled. "You look very sexy and some of the shots are very suggestive. The only problem is that they are quite amateur and they need retouching with an airbrush. Chris' shorts show in almost every shot."
"You mean it looks like we were . . .?"
"Yes dear, it looks very much like you were!" Beth crowed in glee, loving every moment of the torment she was giving them.
"Don't call me dear, dammit."
"Okay, which one is 'Ice' and which one is 'Cube'?" Beth giggled just as we turned into the riverside campsite.
"We'll 'Ice Cube' you, you little bitch." Carissa said loudly, opening her door just as I stopped.
But, Beth was out her door and running before either of them had even set foot out of the car. I just walked over and found a seat in the shade, laughing as Beth easily outdistanced them. Then she teased them into chasing her again and again until both twins were panting heavily and almost completely out of breath.
Beth simply trotted over to me finally, and to my amazement, slipped her blue jeans down. She grimaced as she yanked off two pieces of surgical tape that she had used to tape the envelope of pictures to her inner thigh.
"Damn, you're sneaky." I grinned at her, "I would have thought you'd have had them in your book bag."
"Don't be silly." She grinned. "Whoever heard of a good spy being dumb enough to carry something incriminating there."
"And the cops wouldn't pat your ass?" I grinned.
"My inner thigh is not my ass, dear brother, and there were no woman cops there to pat anywhere near where I had them."
"Jeez, he talks." Carissa panted as she flopped down.
"Yeah, but only to that damn antelope that masquerades as a girl." Corinna puffed, flopping at her side.
"And I can't even get close to Chris in a foot race, so don't count on catching him." Beth giggled as she handed me the envelope. "Here you are, signed, sealed, and delivered. I lied when I said I'd looked at them. Actually I figure that they're you three's business and what you do with them is your business too."
She pulled up her jeans and started to walk away and I reacted.
"Beth! Get your fat little ass back over here." I growled.
She stopped and turned to stare at me.
"I'm not insisting that you look at these with us," I said, gesturing with the envelope, "But, since you did all the work and thought fast enough, plus risked that fat little ass, I'm damn well inviting you to look at what kind of fool your big brother is. That is if you still want to."
To my utter surprise, she broke into tears. I just tossed the envelope to the twins and stood to scoop Beth into my arms and hug her. When she calmed down and we turned toward the twins, only to find that both of them were crying.
"Aww fuck." I growled. "I suppose you guys need hugs too."
"There he goes again." Beth broke into laughter. "Two beautiful blondes want hugs and he acts like it's a fucking chore."
"I know you said we couldn't rush him, but can we at least sit on him and beat some sense into his stupid head." Carissa said, trying to giggle and bawl at the same time.
"You can beat on him if you want," Corinna snorted, "but if you're holding him down, I'm going to shove a tit in his mouth to prove I'm not a guy. That wouldn't count as rushing him would it? I mean, there's already a picture of me doing it at the party. Since it's been shown around the whole school and now it's down in the cop's office, all the darn town must know about it by now."
Since all three of them were busy laughing about it, I grabbed the envelope off the ground and pulled out the pictures. Almost instantly I had one twin pressed on either side of me and Beth leaning over my shoulder. Actually the shot we had seen at school was definitely the best photo of the bunch. To start with, several of the others were so badly out of focus you couldn't even make out who was in the picture. There were at least two 'crotch' shots and apparently from their body language as they saw them, the photographer had gotten one of each girl, but to be honest I couldn't see much difference. There was one shot in which neither of the girls could really be identified but my face was clear and another one like it of each of the twins, but with the other girl and I unidentifiable.
"Shit, what a waste of good film." Beth said loudly.
"Yeah," I laughed, sorting out the shot where only my face was visible. "If I were to save a porn shot for posterity, this is the one I'd keep."
Carissa and Corinna giggled, and sorted out the other two shots that showed only one face.
"You can have that one . . ." Carissa suggested.
". . . if we can have these two . . ." Corinna added.
". . . let's burn the rest . . ." Carissa added
". . . and the negatives too." Corinna finished.
So we built a tiny fire in the fire pit and slowly fed the pictures into it, one picture at a time. Then when the fire had burned down, we stirred the ashes and doused them with lots of water, stirring them over and over again. Now we were all in a good mood when we hopped into the car and drove back to the farm.
When we got there, Mom and Dad were sitting on the front steps drinking a cup of coffee, which was very weird, considering that it was almost chore time.
"Hello, kids, we just had a visitor." Mom grinned as we all got out of the car.
"Mr. Coulter?" I guessed immediately.
"You see, dear, I told you it didn't scramble his brains when you dropped him on his head as a baby." Dad laughed.
"All right, smarty britches," Mom grinned at me, "Since you know so much, just what did we decide?"
"The twins are staying the night?" I guessed.
"No, not just the night, they'll actually be here the rest of the week. He's coming back to pick them up on Sunday evening." She smiled. "He went to a store and bought clothing for them that he felt was a little bit more serviceable for farm work, rather than what they have on."
Carissa and Corinna stared, open mouthed.
"Daddy bought clothes . . ." One stammered
". . . for us to wear?" The other finished.
"He thought it would be good for you to spend some time working on a real farm." Dad smiled at them, then turned to look at me, "And since you were so shy with them, Chris. He felt it would be good for you to have them around as well."
"And we agree with him." Mom added. "So we've put the girl's new clothes in the spare bedroom."
"So, since it's chore time, everyone inside and change clothes." Dad ordered.
I think even the animals had a laugh that night. The twins were true greenhorns. They didn't even know for sure where milk came from. They were astounded when Dad and I sat down to milk the cows. But to my surprise, they were game to try anything and they were surprisingly upbeat about the whole thing. They did complain about the lack of style of their clothes at first, but after they found out just how much dirt, muck, and manure there was on a farm, they didn't seem to mind the blue jeans and gumboots at all. When Beth was feeding one pen of pigs, they thought it funny that she almost got knocked off her feet, but when she insisted one of them feed the next pen, it suddenly didn't seem as funny.
However, they did develop a love affair; they saw Beth's horses. She had three Appaloosa mares and we'd been crossing them to my Quarter Horse stud. She had one yearling and two colts from the three mares and they fell in love with Beth's Appaloosa herd. I think they were actually envious of the young girl that only a short while ago they had been thinking of as a kid. When that 'kid' flipped herself onto the back of the oldest mare right from the ground and raced off down the pasture riding bareback, you could have shoved a bail of hay into either one's mouth. Beth didn't have a saddle, she didn't even have a bridle, just a piece of bail twine slipped through the mare's halter.
"Oh hell, she's showing off again." Dad sighed, but you could see the pride in his eyes.
I just grinned, finishing the feeding the other horses, then came back as Beth came trotting back toward us.
"You might check the left hind. I think she's favouring it a bit." I called, noticing the off gait for the first time.
"Could you help?" Beth called back instantly, stopping the mare where she was and leaping down.
Dad and I walked out to Beth and the mare, asking the girls to wait outside the fence. I took the mare's head and Dad lifted her hoof. She had a small pebble pressing on the frog of her hoof, but it hadn't been there long enough to aggravate her that much. It was only a few seconds work to flip it free. When I lead her forward and away from Dad, he gave me the okay sign. I flipped the bail twine free of the halter and let the mare go.
"Good eyes, son." Dad said quietly. "I never saw the limp until you pointed it out."
"No big deal, Didn't see it until then myself." I grinned, then hearing a noise I whirled, just in time to catch a flying sister in my arms.
"Thanks Lummox." She hugged me and kissed my cheek. "She'd have been limping a lot by morning and I'd hate to have her in pain."
"No problem Sunshine." I grinned tossing her upward so she draped over my shoulder and heading for the house. "Come on girls, chores are done. Now that the animals are fed and cared for, we can go eat ourselves."
They were staring at us like we were from Mars. Beth jabbed me in the ribs.
"Let me down, fool, something is bugging them." She whispered.
Dad had gone ahead, so we went back to see what was wrong.
"So, what's up?" Beth smiled at them, but looked sympathetic, which really surprised me.
"You guys are so tuned into each other . . ." Carissa whispered.
". . . when you helped that horse it was like three bodies and one brain." Corinna added.
I started laughing so hard that I was almost falling down.
Beth was almost the same, but she managed to wheeze "Look who's talking."
"That doesn't count, we're twins." Carissa stomped her foot.
"Other people don't do it." Corinna continued.
"Hah, you should see Chris work on a car with Tom and George." Beth grinned. "It's the same thing, only there they talk 'advanced wrench' and not much of that."
So I started to explain about what happened when people did repetitive jobs, how they became used to each other's foibles and habits as well as with the job's natural timing. You knew what the other person needed and when they needed it, because you had done the same thing so many times.
"That's why we kid and tease a lot, we're simply bored." Beth added. "Besides, we like each other."
The twins were surprisingly quiet all through our evening meal until we all sat back and relaxed over coffee afterward. Then they looked at each other and Corinna nodded her head slightly
Carissa actually cleared her throat.
"Look. We feel like complete asses." She said quietly and held up her hand when I was about to speak. "Wait me out Chris, please. We've always felt we were so special, we always seemed to know what the other one was talking about and we always seemed to be able to complete each others thoughts. But, we just worked with you guys out there and lots of times you don't speak or ask for help from each other. Instead you all seem to be exactly in the right place and doing just the thing the other person needs at the precise time when the other person needs help. You guys out-twinned us and it rattled us."
"I thought I explained that before." I grinned. "We work together, we play together, so we know each other."
Just then there was a knock on the door and without even getting up, Dad hollered "Come on in."
He knew it would be either Tom, or George, or perhaps Tom and George. Actually I'd been expecting them at any time, after all, they would have had to catch the bus home. I knew that they'd be letting me know that they didn't exactly love that idea. As it was, Tom led the pair into the room.
"Chris, what's this I hear about you getting kicked out of school for a week and for being involved with the 'Ice Cuuuu . . ." Tom's voice trailed of as he saw the twins.
For once George wasn't talking, he just stared.
"Hey, I'm sorry I didn't give you guys a ride home, and that you'll have to ride the bus the rest of the week, but what I did what I thought was needed, okay."
The guys still weren't talking, it was like suddenly they were the shy ones.
"You do know Carissa and Corinna don't you?" Beth grinned, loving every second of their discomfort.
"Unh Hi." The two guys stammered and I broke into laughter as the twins giggled.
I think Mom and Dad were enjoying the guy's discomfort as well, but when Mom asked if they'd like a coffee, it seemed to break the spell. They actually had come over to see if I would like to work on one of the other old cars that we had gotten from Mr. Dolens. I looked at Dad and then Mom. After getting a nod from each of them I reached over and opened the mail drawer, then handed Tom an envelope.
"You guys have helped me so much with my cars that I think you deserve this." I grinned. "Mom, Dad, and even Beth, agree with me and we've cleared this with your folks. Now, your birthdays aren't for another month for Tom and almost two months for George, but knowing you two, you can have that second car we got from Mr. Dolens all fixed up by then. That means by this fall, you can drive yourselves to school."
Tom stared at me, then slowly opened the envelope, inside was a transfer of ownership. I'd given the other running car to the two of them. For once both of them were speechless. Then suddenly they looked at each other. After a pair of shouted 'thank you's, they seemed to evaporate. They were off to work on their car.
Dad grinned and gave me an okay sign, Mom and Beth were both smiling in approval, but the weird thing was the reaction from the twins. They just stared at me like I was from Mars again. I just shook my head and decided I had done enough explaining to them, instead I excused myself to go join the guys as they worked at fixing their car.
Tom was in seventh heaven, this was his and George's car, they could fix it the way they wanted to. And George wasn't much better, by the time I had walked down to the shed where their car and the old junker were stored, they had the hood off of their car and were stripping parts from the engine, both yammering a mile a minute. I don't think they even saw me for a few minutes. I just sat back out of the way and grinned for a while.
"Gee guys, if I'd known you were just going to take it apart, maybe I should have given you the junker." I said loud enough for them to hear.
That brought them out of the engine, and suddenly I was having my hand shaken and being thanked as if I'd given them a million dollars. Tom was holding my right hand and pumping it like he was trying to get water and George was talking and . . .
Just then Dad came in. "Chris, did you forget, you have guests."
I glanced past him to make sure he wasn't being followed and then said "Dad, to me, I'm afraid they don't feel like guests. I'm trying to be nice, but having them here is not my idea of fun at all."
"Are you frigging crazy?" Tom squawked. "Do you know how many guys would give their left nut to have the two of them sit at their family's table at any time?"
"Yeah." George almost interrupted. "Jeez man, take them for a ride in your car, or out on the horses or do something."
"You didn't really hear what this was about then?" I broke in, feeling the annoyance I had felt before. "Friday night I went to a party at their house and those two got me drunk or at least they helped. They were out to deliberately embarrass me. What they didn't know is that Sid and his bunch were spiking their drinks as well as mine. On top of that, no one realised that I've drunk quite a lot of alcohol before. By the time I was drunk, almost everyone else, including them, was drunk too. Anyway in the end, they got me away from everyone else. I don't know what the twins thought was going to happen, but somehow they ended up stripped. I ended up only dressed in my shorts and we all ended up in bed together. When I woke up Saturday morning, I saw their nude bodies in bed with me for about ten seconds, then I ran like hell."
"This morning at school someone slipped a picture of the three of us into my locker, then gave them each a copy at lunch. The picture was almost pornographic. When they ran out crying, I got mad and stormed into the principal's office. After everything got sorted out, they got kicked out of school for trying to beat up on the girls that were involved, Beth got kicked out for kicking Sid and his buddy in the . . . well, in the nuts. She swears she thought they were attacking her, and they kicked me out for . . .? Wait a minute, Dad, why did they kick me out?"
"You were temporarily suspended for calling the principal a 'dough brained, fuck head'." He laughed. "And I'm afraid I agreed with you."
I looked past his shoulder and saw Beth and the twins coming. "Here they come now." I sighed.
"Oh, get over it." Tom snapped, sounding exasperated and making both George and Dad laugh.
It turned out that the girls wanted to ride horses and since the oldest mare had picked up a stone when Beth had been fooling around, she wanted to borrow my gelding. Now he's a powerful horse, actually a Thoroughbred who hadn't made it on the race circuit and I wasn't sure about Beth riding him.
Of course Dad had a solution. The twins could ride Beth's other two mares, Beth could ride the gelding, but only if I rode along on my Quarter horse stud.
"Dad, the stud hasn't been ridden in over a week." I argued. "I'm not sure I want to get shaken up tonight."
"Do you want someone else to take the edge off him for you?" George asked.
The thought of him volunteering was hilarious. If George was sitting on a kitchen chair and someone bumped into it so it wiggled, he could fall off. So the very idea of George taking the edge off of a bucking horse got us all laughing, even George, but in the long run it got me into the saddle and on the stud's back. To make a long story short, I got piled. Yeah, with Carissa, Corinna, Beth, Dad, Tom, George, and even my Mom watching, I got dumped on my keister. Me, the guy who hadn't fallen off of a horse in years! The guy they said had glue on his butt! I got to skid along the grass in the back pasture and put grass stains on my pants.
Okay, I knew that the stud was going to be a bit lively, but I didn't expect him to really buck when I got into the saddle. Maybe one of the mares was close to season or something, maybe it was the crowd of people, maybe he just had a bee up his butt, I don't know. All I do know is that he danced around as I put the saddle on him, but when I flipped my leg over his back, he exploded. I had my left leg in the stirrup and my right leg in mid air when he went straight up, then he spun ninety degrees in mid air. I managed to hang on through that, but I was grabbing for leather, still trying to find my other stirrup when he hit the ground. Then he pulled the same stunt, only now he was spinning the other direction.
I was suddenly flying through the air and I swear I went high enough that I saw him take another little crow hop before I even hit the ground. Then to add insult to injury, that darn horse turned around and stared at me, as if asking me why I was sitting on the ground. Did I mention that I have a bit of a temper? While everyone else was still squawking and squealing, and oohing and awwing, I was scrambling to my feet and heading for that horse.
And I dropped back on my butt like a rock into a mud puddle. My left leg wouldn't hold my weight and it hurt like hell!
When they got me to the hospital it turned out that I had fractured a bone in my left foot and twisted my ankle badly. I was going to be in cast and on crutches for at least a month or possibly six weeks. As well as that, I'd cracked a bone in my right hand, so it was going to be in a cast for a while too.
What a bloody bummer way to start a summer.