ASK DOCTOR DAN

QUESTION 8

Hey doctor dan. My boyfriend and I of two years have just begun to get sexually active. You see we're both virgins and we've been having oral sex
and things like that but not real sex. We really love each other and we want it to be very special. But I have a few questions for you. One what is the
best wayof birth control? The pill the patch the condom etc.. We also want to know aboutthe sexual diseases that we could both catch. And we wanted some ideas on how to make it really special for both of us. I mean we don't want it in the back of his ford or anything. Thanks a lot.

Erica, 19 F

LAURA SAYS...

I think that it's sweet if you both think you are ready for something like this, especially if you've given it much thought. Using the pill and a condom every time is perhaps the safest way - I'm no doctor - and the patch is new to myself as well so I don't know what the risk rates are. And sexual diseases? I'll leave the up to the doc. What I can answer, though, is your last question: perhaps the best way is to let it happen when you both feel as if that moment is the right one. And let me tell you - you will know that it will be the right moment and it will never be when you guys are in his car. A romantic date, a little trip, the list goes on for how to get into that mood.

DAN SAYS...

Hi Erica! It's great that you guys waited out the relationship instead of diving in to sex straight away. And I am glad you're seeking advice on birth control and STD protection too.

Laura is right, taking the pill and backing it up with a condom is the best way to protect yourself not only from pregnancy, but from STD's as well. Make sure you talk to your doctor and get the correct prescription, and be aware that the pill can have some side effects for some women. Women who have heart conditions or other chronic conditions cannot take the pill, and it can cause raised blood pressure. See the doc again if you notice anything unusual after taking it. Wait at least a week after commencing the pill so it can take effect before you have sex.

Using condoms is pretty straightforward, but make sure he gets a size and type that fits him well, and squeeze out all the air from the tip as you roll it on his penis. After sex make sure he withdraws slowly, holding the base of the condom as he pulls out so as not to spill any semen on your vagina.

The condom provides the best protection against STD's if used properly, and unless you and your partner have been tested and are completely monogamous, you should use them every time, even for oral sex (you can get flavoured ones for that!). As for diseases you can catch well.....there are hundreds! The main ones to worry about are HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis A, B and C, Syphillis, Genital Herpes, Chalydmia, and Genital Warts. A search on the web will give you all the info you need on these diseases and how they are spread.

I have not much experience with the relatively new patch, you should talk to your local GP about those if you want to try them, however I would advise against it until they have been around a while and proven themselves.

And last but not least - my stance on any kind of sexual activity is that if you're gonna do it, always be aware that pregnancy may result from it! No method of birth control is foolproof and accidents do happen, so if you're not prepared for that possibility then you need to think twice about doing it. There are far too many unwanted children in the world who did nothing wrong, except be born to irresponsible or careless parents.

q8