ASK DOCTOR DAN

QUESTION 5

I am a 45 yr married male and within the last year have been sexually attracted to young girls 11-13yr, when I read the stories on these subjects and make love to my wife after, my thoughts turn to this 'fantasy' and I cum with such force, my wife feels she caused it. There is no ways I can tell her what caused this. She has mentioned many times "I hope those Porn pics are not making our love life". If only she knew! Now I spend hours searching the Web for pics to match the story to no avail. What do do suggest?

Anonymous, 45 M

LAURA SAYS...

Obviously, the "right" thing to do is to probably tell your wife what you do fantasize about when you two are having sex. She might not like that idea, but from what I gather, she is no prude if she doesn't mind you looking at porn. You should stop trying to cover your story - it's all fine in fantasy, but remember that it is indeed your wife you're having sex with and to some degree she is making you cum. If you can see her as herself when having sex and enjoy it, then you know that you would never devestate or hurt her in any way and that is something she'll definately want to know and believe in. The way I see it, as long as you still see her in a sexual way and keep that fantasy of yours a fantasy, and if you tell her that - then you can both move on and find some common ground.

DAN SAYS...

I agree with Laura, you must come clean about your fantasies if you want to have any chance of enjoying your love life as a couple. To keep it from your wife is almost a form of betrayal, and she will be hurt if she finds out from some other source. If you feel that your porn addiction is taking over your life, you should go and see a counsellor - there are some out there trained to deal with this kind of problem and they will be very dicreet about it. Don't jeopardise your marriage! Do something about it.