ASK DOCTOR DAN

QUESTION 10

I'm in a relationship with a man just a yr older than me. I love oral sex and he enjoys when i give it to him but he doesn't return it back to me. I have asked him if he enjoyed going down on me but he won't do it again and won't tell me why.

Anonymous, 43 F

DAN SAYS...

Anonymous, why are you still sucking him off if he won't eat you? Sorry to put it bluntly, but he's getting the better end of the deal here and it's not fair to you. Give him an ultimatum - give to receive! See how he likes that. If he won't reciprocate then unfortunately you will have to either live with it or find another guy who will. I would ask him why he is so reluctant - maybe he's worried about hygiene or something simple like that, and you can put his mind to rest! As long as you do practice good genital hygiene that is.....

LAURA SAYS...

If he's not giving it to you, then you shouldn't give it to him! Less drastic than that (or along with it) is that you talk to him - and I mean talk, do not let him weasel his way out of it. If he won't go down on you, there must be a reason, even if it is that he doesn't think it's a "man's" job to go down on his gal. If you go down on him he should at least give a reason why he doesn't do likewise, if not go down on you as well. Talk, Talk, Talk. Tell him how you feel about being left out and I'm sure he'll understand.