If you are under 18 years of age, stop reading immediately! Do not read this story if you are easily shocked!
Shield your eyes from this wretched abomination! Such hideous perversion! Shocking indecency! Craven corrupt carnal concupiscence! Rancid rapaciousness! Salacious slavering savagery! Lewd leering lascivious lechery, wrenchingly wanton vulgarity, dripping from the depths of deviant desire! Tragically twisted, tormented and tangled turgidity! It makes me weep to even think about it!
Turn back, O faint of heart! Read on only if you dare dredge the darkest dregs of insane imaginings! The ravenous rantings of mad lust and lunacy!
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In my favorite chair, I sat studying the lyrical lines of Hamlet when, what should I hear? but the delightful dingdong of the doorbell! Revealed on the threshold was little Jenny Sue, our neighborhood girl scout. "I'm selling cookies in order to learn valuable business skills, build self-esteem, and become a better citizen!" she piped cheerily.
"My, what an industrious young lady," I remarked. "I'll take a box of thin mints." I handed her a twenty dollar bill, and she returned the correct change, along with a box of cookies.
"Thank you very much for supporting girl scouting," she said with a curtsy.
"Toodle-do," I replied, gently closing the door and returning to my reading.
© Vivian Darkbloom 2006
