My name is Nicholas. I am 11 years old. I know that I look like I am 9. Yes, I am a boy. I suppose, I should start at the start and explain what happened during the summer holidays?

I closed my suitcase. Was I happy or sad? It has not been an easy few weeks. My Mum was a pain and argued all the time. First there was a party when I asked an 8 year old girl to flash, and mum found out about that. Then I tried smoking and that got Mums fuses blowing. The first day of summer holidays, my mum said that I was going to stay with her cousin for the summer. I didn’t even know she had a cousin. I never met the woman. To be honest, I didn’t know what I thought about it. I thought that Mum just wanted to get rid of me for the summer with some strange woman. On the other hand, I was not going to complain, as it was a summer away from mum, and this old woman lived close to where my best friend William lived. 

I came to her house. It was an old fashioned house, with a white fence and all. When I saw the old woman, I smiled. She was an old woman, and looked pretty much like a grandmother. She smiled at me and welcomed me. She introduced herself as Miss Beth but I could just call her granny. I just flopped myself on the sofa and looked around. It had lots of old furniture and frilly curtains. It was clear that she was not married, as the house was full of pink and white colours. She spoke with Mum for a few minutes. Mum looked worried.

“I am having second thoughts about this.”

“Don’t worry dear. You have already paid, and I have a huge success rate. I personally have used my life to saving this town from people growing up the wrong way. I know what you always wanted, and believe me in a month, you will have that.”

Adults could be so weird. I didn’t have a clue what they were talking about. I really didn’t care. Mum was crying as she gave me a hug before she said goodbye. I didn’t even shed a tear. This woman has been a pain in the last few months, and now she was leaving me with a woman that I did not know, just so she could have some fun during the summer. I decided that I would have some fun as well. I sat on the sofa and turned on the TV while Mum left.

It didn’t last long, as “Granny” came in and turned off the TV. “Well, it’s only me and you. You are here for the next few weeks. I have no rules except to respect me. That means do what I say and do not try to make me sad or mad. I am an old woman. I do not need any more gray hair.” I smiled as she did that, but a bit annoyed that she turned the TV off. I would behave while I was in her house. However I planned to spend a lot of time with William. Granny said that she would show me the house. I already noticed the colours. I also noticed a playpen in the sitting room, and a highchair (that was very big) in the kitchen. Otherwise the house was very normal. There was one room that confused me. It was a baby’s room. However the crib was very big. It was obviously a baby girl’s room. She told me it was for children that she took care of that wanted to sleep there. She asked me if I wanted to sleep there with a smile on her face. I didn’t even dignify that with an answer. Then she showed me where I would be sleeping. I think my eyes must have been very wide. It was the most girlish room I ever seen. There was a princess bed with fairies hanging down from the ceiling. The curtains were lacy and white while the walls were pink. The carpet was white and fluffy. There were pictures of princesses on one wall, and on the other wall there were posters of Justin Bieber and One Direction. I knew that this was going to give me nightmares. Maybe I should have picked the other room. Granny must have noticed my reaction and said that she mainly babysat girls. She asked if I thought it was pretty. I didn’t dignify that with an answer either.

It was time for dinner. She joked there and asked if I wanted a normal chair or the highchair. I just sat on a normal chair. This woman was weirder than my own mother! She even asked me did I need help cutting the meat. I didn’t answer. I just started texting William on the cell phone. Granny yanked the cellphone out of my hand.

“Listen Nicola, I do not allow cellphones at the table. This is where we eat and can speak with each other. I know. I am old fashioned.”

“My name is Nicholas. But everyone calls me Nico”

“Nicola sounds much better. Anyhow when we eat, you will give me your cell phone. Now tell me Nicola, I hear that you and your mum have been having arguments lately”

“Nicola is a girl’s name! Yes. She is just being impossible. She wants to treat me like I am 3 years old!”

“Did you ever consider that it would be nice being 3 years old again?”

“Why would I do that? It would mean baby things. I am 11 and I can’t wait to be a teenager. I want to go to parties and have fun”

“Yes, and smoke, and drink, and make some girl pregnant, maybe even steal or hurt someone. Mind you, you cannot make an 8 year old pregnant”

“She was my friend’s sister, and she was stupid enough to show me what she had below her dress.”

“Maybe you should respect women and girls more. You know what they say; it is always good to try being in other peoples shoes. Anyhow Nicola, We are having a guest tonight. So go up to your room and put your pj on and then you will be ready. Before you go, I need you to take this pill. It is like a vitamin pill. It will help your mind and body to change the way it’s supposed to”

Wow this woman was totally gak. She wanted me to get ready for bed already, just because some guest was coming. I could argue with her, but I was not going anywhere, so I figured I might as well do it. I walked up to the princess room and then started to panic. I forgot my suitcase! I went back and told Granny that she had to call my mum and tell her to come with my clothes. Granny explained that Mum was probably on a plane to some beach. She told me that there I would just have to use the clothes in the room. She apologized that most were girl clothes, but some were unisex. No one would notice. I do not know why I didn’t just run home. But after the dinner (and the pills), my head felt groggy. In fact my whole body felt numb. At the same time, I felt like I was in a great humour. It was like I was flying. I went back to the room and looked through the clothes. They were all my size, but most where dresses, petticoats, skirts and t-shirts that looked like they belonged to a 5 year old girl. At last I found a white PJ that was half ways like boys one, except it was silky and had some lace on it. I put this on, looking in the mirror. I was ashamed and wanted the ground to swallow me. At the same time, I felt dizzy and in a good mood.

I heard the doorbell ring, and heard this giggling girl come in. I was not going to show myself to a girl, that I could fancy. I tried hiding myself in the room, until Granny came up and told me to come down. I refused. Before I knew it, she sat on a chair in the corner and forced me over her lap. I thought I was stronger but she was obviously stronger. (I didn’t know at this stage that the pills worked extremely quickly). Granny started to spank me, telling me I was not respecting her or her guest. I tried explaining to her on how I looked, but she just continued spanking. After realizing that my ass was becoming raw, I promised I would go down.

I dried my face and walked into the sitting room. The girl was sitting on a rug. She looked a bit older than me, maybe 12. However you could not see that by looking at her. I am not just talking how flat she was. I was talking about her clothes. She was dressed in a nightdress, that was short enough, but it had a picture of some baby cartoon on it, with the words, “baby princess”. Her long hair was in pigtails. She was extremely pretty, but it was obvious that she was not mature like I was. I was about to sit on the sofa when Granny told me to sit on the baby rug with the girl. I could not believe my ears. She called it baby rug. I suddenly had distant memories of when I was a toddler, that I had the same type of rug. I could have fought granny on this, but my butt was already sore. I complied with her wishes. Besides that, I felt so dizzy and giddy, that I would have agreed to jump off a cliff.

The girl asked Granny if she could have a pink pill, which I gathered was the vitamin pill. Granny said no, and the girl nearly started begging for it. Who would have been begging for some pink pill? The girl seen how stern Granny became, a look that I will soon learn. The Girls name was Jenny. She talked nonstop. It was a bit boring what she talked about. She talked about dolls and some TV programs that I saw as a toddler. She did talk about how cute some boys were, but it’s not like I could tell her what I think. She even commented that she liked my pj, and admitted that she wore it once, but now likes nightdresses. She started talking about all the pretty dresses and petticoats she had. This girl was obviously no tomboy. In fact she was a bit babyish. I found this out when I had a glimpse of up her nightdress. (It’s not my fault. It was short and I am a boy!). I nearly fainted what I saw. Jenny was wearing a diaper! I think I said Oh My God or maybe something else. This made Jenny blush with tears coming out of her eyes. It also made Granny mad, saying I should not look up girls nightdresses. I didn’t get any explanation why a 12 year old girl was wearing diapers. Time must have flown by, but it was time for bed, at least for Jenny, although it was only 9 pm. I was allowed to stay up for a bit more. But as I looked through the TV, I noticed the only children’s channels were not locked. Everything else was locked. Including the sport channel. It didn’t help that I also forgot my iPod.  After all the weird things, I decided to go to bed. Granny wanted me to give her a hug on the cheek, but I just walked by her. On my way to the princess room, I saw that Jenny was in the baby’s room. As I peeked in, she was laying in the crib. I nearly fainted. However, she started crying. I couldn’t believe my eyes. A girl that would be a teenager next year was in a crib with a baby’s bottle. Now she was crying in shame, while Granny consoled her putting a pacifier in her mouth. My mind was already very groggy. I needed to sleep in a bed. As I laid in bed, I knew that I was not going to tease her. After all, I had girls PJ on, although some would call it unisex. At the same time, I was sleeping in a girl’s bed. I was no sissy though. This was only for a month.

I must have slept for a long time the next day, because Jenny came in wearing a summer dress. She pinched my nose and that woke me up. She was all giddily and happy and said that she would love to play with me all day. I had a headache. I was usually not a morning person, but I did manage to ask her why she was wearing childish clothes. She blushed a bit and explained that she has accepted that this was the way she was. She was not that smart and was often confused in her head. She acted like a child because it was easy. She even lifted her dress to show she was wearing a diaper. It looked bulky and I don’t know why, but very girlish. She noticed that I was not well. I felt like a ton of bricks fell on me. Jenny smiled and said I should ask for a pill. It would make me feel better. I pulled back the bed sheets and noticed that they were wet. I cursed as high as I could. I could not believe it. I never wet the bed since I was 9. Mum threatened to put me in diapers then, and she even bought them. But luckily I stopped.

Jenny went home. I was quite during breakfast. I asked Granny if I could get a pill. Granny smiled as she gave me the pill. I was still quiet. Granny already knew I wet the bed, and said I must have been very tired. I shrugged my shoulders and thought that was a good explanation.

“Maybe you should wear diapers, Nicola” Granny mentioned

“No way! And my name is not Nicola. I only wet the bed once”

“Yes, but that is enough. You know some children do not want to grow up. They like being babies.”

“Is that why Jenny wears diapers and looks like a small girl?”

“Yes, she feels far more secure that way. She does not want to grow up”

“That is totally weird.”

“Maybe, but you like her, don’t you?”

“Yes, she is nice. Weird but nice”

“But she is lucky. She does not have to grow up or worry about growing up. She is her mother’s little girl and is a well behaved baby. I think you would also like to be your mother’s boy again. Or maybe her girl. Imagine how easy your life will be if you were allowed to be what you deep down want to be.”

“I am 11. I do not want to be a baby. I do not need diapers like Jenny. I am a boy and not a sissy. Wow, you say the strangest things.”

“Listen Nicola, I have a degree in child psychology, and I can tell you that boys think they want to grow up, but it is not good for them. You know in the olden days, boys wore dresses and were treated like babies. They ended up as gentlemen. They call it petticoat treatment. Some boys are still treated like that when they get unruly and it works. Boys tend not to be in contact with their feminine side today. I don’t think that you understand that boys like you should be treated like babies and even girls, especially after all the trouble you have been getting in lately”

“Listen, I know you may be smart. I am happy being a boy and can’t wait until I am a teenager. No way will I be treated like those sissies you have been talking about, and no way will I be a baby!”

“Then why did you wet the bed. Doesn’t matter. I have put a rubber sheet on your bed, just in case you continue to wet your bed, and if it continues, then we will have to find an alternative. I think that you should get changed. Your clothes are in the washer, so you have to pick the clothes from the wardrobe and dressers. There must be something there that looks like boys clothes.”

I wanted to leave as quickly as possible. This granny was one strange woman. I started by taking a bath. She had loads of things for the bath. I put bubbles in and then seen a strange bottle with small stones. I dropped some of them in. It smelt like a flower shop. However, my head was a bit light and groggy, so I was not grumpy about it. I think that these tablets helped. I was in a great mood, although it seems like I couldn’t think straight. After my bath, I went into my room, and tried looking through the clothes left behind. There were no boy clothes, so I had to try to find some clothes that would look like a boy could wear them. It was not easy finding briefs. There were only panties and diapers. The panties were everything from lacey to pink, and had princess cartoons on them. I found a white pair with Snow White on them. It had a red ribbon at the top. I suppose it didn’t matter, as I would have trousers over them. I found overall shorts that looked normal. The only thing is that the buckles on the straps were little flowers. Then I found a top that was white. It had the words “Boys” on it. I laughed and said that it looked gay, but it would be under the overall shorts. I looked in the mirror, and thought I looked like a sissy. Usually I would get all grumpy and mad, but I just giggled at what I seen in the mirror. These vitamin pills made me feel very giggly and my mind was as numb as could be. Imagine if my best friend William has seen this.

And that he did. I forgot that he was visiting me that day. I was still in a giggly mood and this confused him. He asked if I have stolen some of Grannies wine. I said no. Then he carefully said that with the long hair and my face, and the clothes, I looked more than a girl than a sissy. He stood back thinking that I would hit him, but I just laughed, asking if he fancied me. I explained that I forgot my suitcase so I had to wear these unisex clothes. It was only for a few weeks. William just shrugged it off, thanking God it was not him. Then he sat on the bed, and noticed the rubber sheet. I went red in the face as he was about to ask why there was a rubber sheet on my bed. I explained it was already there. As groggy as I was, I was not going to admit I wet the bed.  Williams only comment was that I was now living in some crazy house. After all that, he took a pack of cigarettes out and we shared a smoke. For a few minutes, I felt like a normal boy. However Granny must have smelled the smoke, and barged in the room. She was very mad and kicked William out, which was embarrassing. I was afraid that she would spank or whip me; however she just picked me up as I was a little a 4 year old. I tried shouting that I can walk myself and started kicking all I could. The woman is definitely one strong woman, and carried me to the play pen. That’s right, a play pen which a toddler is placed to prevent self-harm when his parents is away. In other words it’s a jail for toddlers. This one was a bit bigger than the other ones I have seen. I sat there just looking at a doll that was there. I considered crawling over, but I could see that Granny was mad. I bet that she had a cane. I decided to stay there until she calmed down. After a while, I started holding the doll and even speaking with her.

I was there until dinner. Not a word was said when we ate. Granny tried to cheer me up by saying I was pretty. I was about to get mad saying this is something you say to a girl. Then she gave me a pill and told me to go up and get changed. She said my pj was being washed and she put something on my bed. She warned me to go to the toilet before I went to bed. I was about to protest. It was too early to sleep. However I kept quiet thinking that the alternative was being put in the baby jail again. I went up to the room and found the night clothes she wanted me to wear. It was a night dress. That’s right! A long pink nightdress with Barbie in the front. Granny was at the door. I protested but she said that no one will see. I should have slept naked. I put the nightdress on and hid under the covers. I looked at the pictures of the boys and men, while my eyes closed and I was quickly asleep. I forgot to use the toilet.

The next day, I woke up again wet. Now I was grumpy and mad. I couldn’t believe it that I wet the bed once again. I couldn’t believe I was wearing a nightdress. I didn’t feel that well. I thought it was my brain telling me I was rebelling to sleeping in a girl’s room and wearing unisex clothes. I really wanted a t-shirt and normal jeans again. No wonder why I felt like the roof fell on me. I asked Granny for a tablet, which made me feel better again. This went on for a few days. I wet the bed, woke up feeling horrible, and after I got a tablet I felt better. It was like I was giggly all the time and didn’t care about things. I continued wearing the unisex clothes, and didn’t notice that they were becoming more girlish. They were brighter, even pink. There were even flowers and bears and other things on them.

About a week later, I woke up in a wet bed, feeling like hell and noticed that Granny found some clothes for the day. The shorts were very short and had a pink belt. There was a pinafore top with a picture of Britney Spears on it. It was then I realized how sissy they looked. I have gone from a tough boy to a sissy in one week. It was then I realized that it was because I didn’t really think about it. I concluded that it must be the pills fault, because they made me groggy, giddy and I didn’t really think straight. I decided to wear these stupid clothes this day, and then I would refuse to wear them. I would even go around naked if I had to. I made up my mind. I was not going to be a sissy.

However that day, Granny was all dressed up. She said that we were going shopping with Jenny. I couldn’t believe it. We were going to a shopping mall with these sissy clothes on. We were going to pick Jenny up. That was OK, but others would see me in these clothes. It was bad enough that my body felt like it was going to fall apart, but what would people think if they saw me this way? I protested and staring saying I would not go. Granny slapped me on the hand,

“You agreed to this yesterday! You are going to keep your promise. You have been cooped up all day, now it’s time that you get out a small bit. There is a lot we have to do”

“But look at these clothes. They are totally girl clothes.”

“That doesn’t matter. Maybe you are not as much as a boy as you think you are. You definitely do not act like an 11 year old. You have peed the bed every night! I am getting tired of washing.  If you do not come, then you can stay in the playpen for the rest of your month! Do you want your pill?”

I was defeated. It was at this stage that I missed my mum. I decided not to speak with Granny all day as a protest. I did tell her I wanted my hair cut, as the hair was down to my shoulders. She said it was pretty but agreed that we could go to the hairdressers. I told her that I did not want any pill and this would be the last day I would wear these clothes. We should drive around to my house and break a window so I could get my suitcase. Granny just smiled and said “They all say that”. I didn’t have a clue what she meant about that.

We drove by Jenny’s house. She was wearing a red summer dress. She was all cheerful like she always was, and even gave granny a hug. How sweet. She gave granny a diaper bag. When she sat in the car, she sat in a baby’s seat and even started drinking from a baby’s bottle. This shocked me. However nothing could surprise me since I started living with granny. She could hear me moan and groan as my body and mind was in pain. She suggested I ask for a pill. I said no. She just shrugged her shoulders and gave me a pacifier. I was about to throw it back, but figured that maybe using it will keep my mind on something else. Grannies cell phone rang and she was speaking with someone. I just heard a few words, because some childish music was on the radio. “Fine, he has taken them every day… No more growth in the body and the organs and muscles has become weaker… his mind will also be weaker and have the same thoughts of a toddler… He will be more calm, and easier to influence, he already is… No, he didn’t get one... but that is normal... soon we can make some strides... He is one of the hardest I had, but he will be ready.” I thought at first she was talking about me, but then figured that why would she do that?

We came to the mall, and I stepped out. There were tons of people there. Jenny sat in a push chair. Now I saw everything. I asked her what she will do when she grew; she just responded that she no longer grew. I could hardly stand up now. I needed the pill. I begged Granny for a pill. That’s right I begged, because at first she was unsure if I deserved one. I begged, saying I was at a mall with girl clothes on and I have been good and done what she told me to. At last she gave me the little pink pill. I spit out the pacifier again and tried to give it back to Jenny, but she said that I could just keep it.

It was strange, that after a few minutes, my body was back to normal. I was smiling again and giggly. I know that my mind was once again numb, but it was like freedom not being able to think so much, especially what was cool and not. We walked around the mall, and I am sure that everyone was looking at us. Here I was a boy that was in girls clothes and Jenny was in a push chair. I noticed that some people said what pretty girls. After a few times, I realized they were saying girls, and this meant me and Jenny. They thought that Jenny was handicapped and I was really a girl. I decided it was smart not to argue with them.

Our first trip was at the hairdresser. At this time, I was in a great mood and giggling and enjoying everyone thinking I was a girl. This was despite that the hair dresser kept calling me a pretty princess. I just smiled and sat there thinking that I would get some short hair. I was happy that she cut my hair in the front, but it ended that it was just a like a page cut that small girls have. She did not cut my hair a lot. However she put them in pigtails and put little ribbons on them. I nearly got a heart attack when I looked in the mirror. Maybe it was because I was so giggly; I just laughed thinking that I looked like a little girl. The next step was a jewelry shop. I didn’t even speculate what we were doing in there. The Granny told me to sit in a chair. I did smiling. Especially when the saleswoman kept on telling me what a tomboy I was. I laughed at this until I felt a pain in my ear. The woman pierced my ear, and before I knew it, the other ear was pierced! Then she told me to look in the mirror and see I was no longer a tomboy. I looked in the mirror and could see two small silver butterflies in my ears. It was bad enough that I already have a girl face, but after my hair was in pigtails and my ears were pierced, I didn’t even look like a sissy. I looked like a girl!

I ran out of the shop. I wanted to be alone. Maybe the pills were wearing off, but I no longer thought that this was funny. I sat down on a bench while people were walking past me. I bet they all thought I was a girl. I wanted to cry, and I could feel some tears coming down my face. I was trying my best not to cry, because that is exactly what a girl would do. However, when I looked down at the clothes I was wearing and felt the pigtails in my head, and felt the slight pain in my ears, I had to cry. Now I was a total girl, tears and all! Then I felt an arm around me. I looked up and seen it was William. I was totally in shock then realized that he how I looked.

“William, what are you doing here?”

“We agreed by text message last night that we would meet here. Why are you crying, are you not afraid someone will see you?”

“Oh, I forget things. I think it’s because some pills I am taking”

“Are you a Junkie? By the way, are you going to some dress up party? You look like a girl in those clothes. You have pigtails as well. Oh My goodness, you have your ears pierced with sissy butterflies.”

William stopped hugging me as I told him there was a good explanation. However I had none. He just asked me if I was a sissy or gay, when Granny and Jenny came and joked that it was good that I was with my boyfriend. William was definitely not my boyfriend. He was my best friend! Just as I was thinking this while looking at Williams confused face, I felt myself getting wet. I looked down and could see that I was pissing in my pants. Things could not get any worse except granny said as loud as she could that I have pissed myself, so we should find a girls toilet to get changed in. This was too much for William. He said he had to meet his mother and disappeared. After that we went into a girl’s room. This woman looked at me, and said that her daughter had the same problem when she was my age, and her daughter was 9 now. How old did she think I was? Granny started taking my shorts and panties off. Jenny announced that my thing was very small. Granny agreed and said that it will not grow anymore. I was about to ask what she meant when I saw that she started putting a pull-up on me. It was pink and white, and it was thick. I started to scream and cry, but Granny slapped my hand and said do not argue in the middle of the mall. She said this as she put some pink shorts on me. I argued all the way out of the mall, even when I saw people looking at the big diaper bulge and even William passed us and saw me wearing pink bulky shorts. He walked on.

When we came home, Granny lifted me in the playpen, and said I was being punished for causing a scene in the mall. I tried to explain that any boy would complain being forced to look like a girl and wearing pull-ups. She just shook her head and asked me how long did I want to sit there? I just sat there talking to the doll about all my problems. I wish that my guardian angel would come and save me. I had the pacifier in my mouth without noticing it.

After an hour, Granny lifted Jenny in the playpen. At least I had some company,

“Granny has gone to take a nap. I was supposed to take a nap, but I wanted to keep you company” She started

“I suppose you wanted to sleep in a crib”

“I know you think I am strange. Let me explain one thing. I am the way I am. I may be older than you, but I am a little girl inside. Yes, a little baby girl. I like my life. I like being secure and being taken care of. I like not worrying about what others wants me to be like. I like the fact that my mum gives me permission to be what I am. I mean look at you. You were happy today when you were wearing those clothes. You were happy when you had your hair done. I think you look like a girl even when you are dressed as a boy. I bet you think William is cute. You are also like a baby. You wet yourself and you even have a pacifier in your mouth now. I bet you are wet again”

“I was only happy because I had that pill. I get giggly and forget things and don’t think straight when I get it. I think Granny is drugging us. When we get that pill, we do some strange things. She is fooling around with our minds. She should be in jail. I bet if you stopped having the pill, you would not want to sleep in a crib”

“Don’t say anything bad about Granny. She is the nicest woman I know, besides my mummy. I only have the pill here. I don’t have it at home. I am this way at home as well. The pill helps us to forget what people expect of us. It brings out the inner sides of us. It basically brings forth your inner feelings. That’s why we feel so good when we get them, because we are being who we really are. I used to beg for them, and they don’t come free. I had to do what Granny said. It didn’t matter though, because at the end, I realized that it was what I wanted. Now I have found my true self, even if it makes me strange. But I am happy and I feel safe and loved.”

“I am sorry for teasing you. I suppose you are right. I don’t know if I am going to beg her for pills. Then I would have to do what she wants me to do and I might end up like you”

“So you like the pill. It makes you feel good. Do what she says, and when you get home you can just do what you normally do”

“I suppose I can take the earrings out and fix my hair. But what if I like it?”

“Then you will be like me. I go to a special school with children like me. We are not that many, but I can be myself. If you like it, then you should accept it or you will be frustrated all your life.”

Jenny made sense. I only had to live here for a month. I could put up with Grannies weird ideas and feel good when she gave me the pill. When I came home, then I could just fix my hair and be a normal boy once again. Jenny slept in the crib in the baby’s room. I must admit she looked safe and comfortable. It was sweet when granny read her a story. I went to my princess bed, but I was thinking a lot what Jenny told me. Did the pill really bring to the surface what was deep inside me? Did I want to be a girl? Is that why I had such a girl face? Did I wet myself because I wanted to? Why did I stop teasing Jenny? She was older than me and sleeps in a crib and uses baby things!  I mean she was older than me. At least she was not changed into a girl. She was already a girl. What did I really want? Why did I have to wet my pants in the middle of the mall? I couldn’t sleep. I rushed out to the playpen and got the doll and snuggled in bed with a pacifier in my mouth. I had a nightdress on and panties that a 4 year old would wear. I closed my eyes thinking if William was cute or not.

The next day I woke up wet as usual. I felt like the house fell on me again. I had to have the pill to make me feel good. I had to do something about this bedwetting. I just didn’t know what I could do. I went out with the wet bed sheets and nightgown. Jenny was already eating breakfast. I had this pink bathrobe on, but that was embarrassing enough, plus she could see that I wet myself again. She smiled and said she doesn’t have that problem anymore, because she wears diapers. I was about to give her a smart comment about her age, but figured she had a point. After I put the clothes for a wash, I sat down for breakfast. I then asked Granny did she have a pill. She paused and said that I probably should stop having them and try other vitamin pills. This made my head go into chaos. I starting begging for a pill, but Granny said that they were not cheap, and after the fuss I made at the mall, she wondered if I deserved one. I begged even more and promised that I will never complain again, I will do whatever she said. I noticed that Jenny was smiling. She did predict that I would do this. Granny gave me a pill and said that she would speak with me later, as Jenny was going home. This time, Jenny gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheeks. It was the first time that I ever was kissed by a girl. I was so happy, that I smiled, even though it was a girl that preferred to be a toddler and wear diapers.

I waited all morning to Granny told me what conditions she had for the pills. I watched some cartoons on TV. I never saw them before. Now I was staring at them. It was a Barbie cartoon. After a half an hour, I noticed a pacifier in my mouth. Maybe it was because I was once again happy and not thinking right. I didn’t mind. I was getting used to this strange house. Granny came in and noticed that I was wet. She said it was a good thing that I was laying on the baby rug. She said it was time to go into the room and get changed. I didn’t argue that she was going to help me. I remembered my promise that I would do whatever she said. She took me in the baby room and laid me on a changing mat and starting taking me clothes off.

“Wow you have a little one,” She started to talk, “Now remember when I gave you the pill, I said that there are things that you have to do. Well I think we should talk about them. The first reason is the way you are, even the feelings you have deep inside you. The second reason is Jenny”

“What way am I?”

“When you came here, you were a troublesome boy who always got in trouble. Since then you have changed a lot. You are happier. You are being more the person that is deep in you. There are things that have happened to you. One is that you have started wetting yourself. This is a sign that you are not as developed as you ought to be. This can also be seen that you have started using pacifiers. Another thing I noticed is that you are happy in girl clothes. I tell you what I think. It’s not only your girlish face and body that confirms this, It is how happy you are. I think deep down inside that you want to be a baby and a girl. There are many sissy boys in the world. I think you are most happy when you are a baby girl.”

“That is a bit hard to accept or understand, what about Jenny?”

“Well, as you know, Jenny is a year older than you. However she is a baby girl in the way she looks and lives. She is like a daughter for me. I think she has been a lot happier since you came here. She now sees that someone else could be like her. I want Jenny to be happy.”

“But she goes to school with children like her. I still don’t understand. What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to explore what your true personality is. From now on you will not complain about girl clothes. From now on I want you to wear diapers. I do not want to be washing clothes all the time. I only have girl diapers with tapes, so those will have to do. I will also treat you more like a baby. Just accept what I give you and tell you. You will be a baby for the rest of the time you are here.”

“What if I don’t want to be a baby? I don’t have to wear dresses or sleep in a crib, do I?”

“First, I think if you were totally opposed to the idea that you would spring up from this table and run as fast as you could. You do not have to sleep here or wear dresses. But your hair is now in a girl’s hairstyle and you wear girl clothes, so what’s the difference. We can discuss it when you are ready for it”

There I was, with overall shorts on me, with a blouse under it with a frilly collar. I had frilly ankle socks on, not to mention a diaper. I looked like a 5 year old girl that was not potty trained.  I walked back out to the sitting room and lay on the rug and started seeing the Barbie film again. In the back of my head, I was confused. Was Granny right? Why did I accept her conditions so easily? Is it because of the pills or is it because I was really happy? I didn’t really care. I was in a happy mood. Who cared if it was because of a pill or not? I didn’t even care when Granny came with a baby’s bottle of warm milk. Maybe I would have said something if I knew that this would be the only thing I drunk from since.

The next few days went like that. I would wake up, and have a pacifier in my mouth. I would say sorry to my doll if I dropped her to the floor. Granny would then take me in the baby room and then change my diaper. I would still have the pacifier in my mouth. Then I would get a new diaper on, and sometimes plastic panties that only a princess would wear. I would wear clothes that were girl clothes, and clothes that 5 year olds would wear. My favourite was the ones that had teddy bears or flowers on them. Then I would eat breakfast from plastic plates and get a bottle of milk. The day would be playing with the dollhouse or blocks or dolls. Sometimes I would go in the back yard and play on the swings. I would rush in the house if someone could see me. It was only then I thought what I did and how I looked was strange for an 11 year old. The strange thing was that I did not ask for the pills as much as I did. I felt bad at the start, but forgot how bad I felt when I played with the dollhouse or dolls. After a week, I didn’t even ask for the pills anymore. Even though I looked like a baby girl, and no longer did the things I used to, I was extremely happy.

One morning, it started as it has done. It was 2 weeks until Mum came and took me home. Then I could be a normal boy again. The only thing I was worried about was the fact that I could no longer feel when I had to pee. It just came.  I had two weeks to worry about that. Granny took me into the baby room and put a new diaper on me. The top was a pinafore top that said “Princess” on it and the shorts were long and baggy. They were so baggy that they looked like a skirt. I blushed thinking that it was hard seeing that they were actually shorts. When Granny was putting my hair in pigtails, she told me that Jenny was coming to sleep the next two nights. I was so excited.

Jenny came when I was in my room while I was playing with the dollhouse. Jenny came in and told me how pretty I was. She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. This made me smile. I was so happy that she was here. We could play together. She noticed that there was a baby bottle that was half empty. I tried explaining it to her that I get thirsty and she explained that she went through the same. I remembered that and smiled. Here was a person that accepted me for what I am. Nothing further was said. We just played with the doll house and Barbie’s until Jenny excused herself because she was wet. Another time, I said I had to be changed. The difference was that she came and seen me when I was getting changed.

After lunch, we were in the sitting room watching a Shirley temple film when the door rang. Suddenly William was in the sitting room. Without thinking of how I looked, I jumped up and gave him a hug. I was so happy to see him. Then I realized that I never gave him a hug before. He just stood there and stared at me. Then he turned around and ran out the door. I was standing there confused. Was he mad? Was it because I gave him a hug? Jenny tried to make me feel better by talking nonstop. But the fact that William walked out that way worried me.

I couldn’t concentrate on anything. Then William sent me a text message. This was the text messages that we sent back and forth:

William: “Where you playing dress up?”

Me: “No. Why did you leave?”

William: “This is the second time I seen you look like a sissy. Today you still had pigtails like a little girl and that skirt!”

Me: “Its shorts”

William: “And why were you wearing a diaper? I could see the bulge in your Skirt”

Me “I have just had something wrong down there”

William “Right, and what about the hug, are you gay or something”

Me: “No, I am sorry”

(20 minutes later) William “You are not the friend I knew. You are a sissy baby faggot”

Me: “We are friends”

William: “Fuck off and leave me alone princess”

I broke down in tears. William was my best friend and now he spat on me, because I changed. I realized then that I was wet, and this made me think he was right. I have become a sissy baby. I couldn’t stop crying. Jenny gave me a hug and let me cry until I had no tears left. Then she said, “Remember, that I lost my friends because I found out I was just a small baby girl. You have found out that you basically are too. It was hard for you to accept. It will also be hard for your friends to accept. William will most likely tell everyone. Don’t worry, if he is a good friend, then he won’t. If he does, you just can go back to school as a boy. If you become a baby girl, then you can just come to my school.”

Jenny put a pacifier in my mouth and I fell asleep. When I woke, I remembered what happened with William. I was sad, but I also thought that Jenny was right. Now it was in the open. Everyone probably knew. Now I didn’t have to be afraid to be who I wanted to be. I didn’t need a pill, or granny to tell me. Granny understood and supported me, as did Jenny. In fact, she was a better friend than William. She didn’t expect things from me. She just let me be the way I am.

That night, Jenny smiled as she seen me sit on the high chair in the Kitchen. I smiled as I have been doing it for days now, and after a while, I forgot how strange it is for an 11 year old boy to be sitting in a high chair. I just joked to Jenny and said that one day; I would be big enough to sit on a normal chair. Jenny laughed and then told me that the baby side of me was finally showing. She always knew that I would be happier being treated as a baby. Granny and I just smiled. Part of me was still fighting the whole thing. Deep down, I did not know if this was a game or the way I really was. Granny asked me did I want to take a tablet, and I said no to this. I didn’t need a tablet to make me happy. After we ate, we were playing with makeup. This did not interest me at all. However I loved when we fixed each other’s hair and tried on different earrings. Then we watched a cartoon while we were drinking a bottle of milk. I didn’t even notice that Jenny had gone to get changed and ready for bed. I rushed into the baby room just as she was getting a diaper on. Then it was my turn. Granny was speaking to me like I was a baby when she changed my diaper. She reminded me that I wet 5 times that day. When the new diaper was on, she said that tonight will be cold, so she put a sleeper (a one size pj) on me. It was white with a sleeping angel in the front. I stood up and was about to go into my princess bed, when I had second thoughts. I thought about everything that happened today. I had to find out if I wanted to be a baby, or if deep down I was really one. I carefully asked Granny if I could sleep in this room. She asked me did I really want to sleep in the baby’s room? I nodded. She said that it was up to Jenny. Jenny smiled and said she was now my big cousin. As Granny lifted me in the crib, Jenny went to get my pacifier and my doll. As I laid down in the crib, I thought was this a mistake or was I really happy? I hugged my doll and smiled and slept.

The next day when I woke up, I was of course wet, and a bit lost to as where I was. All I could see were bars. I hugged the doll for a moment, thinking where I was. Then I remembered I wanted to sleep in the crib. I must be crazy, but it was extremely comfortable. I don’t remember the last time that I slept so well. Granny came in, and helped me out of the crib. She asked if I wanted to sleep there from now on. I nodded and blushed at the same time. She just smiled and said that no one needs to know; In fact she knows teens and adults that prefer to sleep in cribs.

Jenny was standing beside the changing table. I think she was waiting for me to be lifted on it, as we usually do. However Granny said that it was Jenny would be changed first. Jenny started pleading to be alone and let me get changed first. I felt sorry for Jenny, as she was crying more and more, and even in a panic. I offered to leave the room or turn around, however Granny just said that its time I knew, as she put a pacifier in Jenny’s mouth. I already had one in my mouth. Jenny was lifted on the changing table while Granny started removing her clothes. At last, Jenny was only wearing her girl diaper. She begged for Granny not to take it off as Granny was unfastening the tapes. The diaper was finally off. The pacifier fell out of my mouth, as I got a shock. Jenny was not a girl. She was a boy! She didn’t have a slit like girls have. She had a dick like me. Granny quickly put a new diaper and a dress on Jenny. After Jenny was lifted down, I was lifted up on the table. Jenny was still crying. Her secret was out. She was not a girl. She was a boy. A sissy boy! She was just like me.

After I got a new diaper on, I heard Jenny still crying and telling me how sorry she was and she understood if I hated her. Granny was about to put shorts on me. I kicked them off; despite I could see that she was getting worried or mad. I asked her could I get a dress on today. Now it looked like Granny was about to faint, as she stammered explaining to me that they were going to the mall today. I swallowed, and said that I wanted a dress on. Jenny stopped crying as I was lowered to floor and went over to the wardrobe and picked out a white satin dress with a bear on the front that said “Brat”. I have seen this one before and always wished that Jenny would wear it, as it was cute and funny. Now I had a dress on, something that I did not expect to be wearing a dress when I came here. Now here I was pulling a dress over my head while Granny handed me some white cotton tights. I had to sit down to put them on. I must admit, that they were very soft, especially as I pulled them up my leg. When I had them up, I felt very strange. It was like I was half naked, and I could feel a breeze under my skirt. At the same time, the tights felt like someone was caressing my skin all the time. I looked in the mirror. I no longer just looked like a girl. I was a girl. I no longer looked like I was 11. I looked like I was 5. I always was extremely small for my age, but no one would ever think I was older than I looked.

I went over to Jenny and gave her a hug. I didn’t know what to say to her. I know that she deceived me. I know that she has lied to me. I know that she influenced me to become what I have become now. I know that her talks and her example have influenced me, and it was all based on deceit and a lie. Maybe it was a trick. I had every reason to be mad at Jenny, who is a sissy baby. However in the last few weeks, I have become happy. I was no longer stressed and under peer pressure. I know I was a freak, that didn’t mind being a baby and a sissy, but I was happy. It was obvious that she was happy, and why would she tell others the truth, when she thinks she is a baby and a girl. It did explain a whole lot. I remembered that Jenny supported me when I came here, and helped me through everything, especially when William broke our friendship. I was not mad at Jenny.  The fact is that I was happy. I felt love and secured. I went and gave Jenny a kiss.

After we ate, I was lowered from the high chair. We were ready to go to the mall. On the way to the car, I suddenly felt afraid. I haven’t gone out a lot since I came to Grannies. Now I was aware that I was a boy wanting to be a girl and being a baby. People would know. Granny seemed to see the fear in my face, and buckled me in the baby seat of the car. “Today is important Nicola, you are about to go out in the big bad world dressed as a girl, a girl that happens to be still a baby. You have all the benefits that Jenny does not have. You are very small, and you do look like a girl. This is the day when you tell the world who you want to be. This is the day you tell the world you are. We can turn around and go in the house if you are not ready.” I thought about it, still feeling the tights caress my legs. I have made my choices in the last few days. I felt loved, secure, and happy. I took the baby bottle from Granny and started drinking it while we drove to the mall.

When we got to the mall, Granny took out the pushchair and I stood waiting that Jenny would sit in it. However Granny lifted me in it, saying that I was smaller. I didn’t know if I liked it or not, as it made me feel like a handicapped child. I felt like I was locked in a chair. This meant that I could not wonder off. On the other hand, neither could Jenny. She had baby reigns on her. We started going into the mall, and I could feel that my heart was pumping quickly. I held the doll in my hand and had a pacifier in my mouth. Granny told me that girls do not spread their legs. I closed them, not just because it was polite, but no one needed to know that I was wearing pampers. Nothing much happened at the mall, except that people stared at us. I think they were mostly looking at Jenny. She was small but not that small. And she had a leash on her. Some could believe that I was just a big 6 years old that was forced to be in a stroller. Before we went home, Granny gave us lunch. Of course she asked for the children’s meal and put our drinks in bottles. It was that time that I saw William came in. He came up to me and mumbled, “You are definitely wearing a dress and even tights. You are drinking from a baby bottle. You are a freak!” He took his cell phone, and took a picture. I knew he no longer was my friend, and that picture would be on Facebook. I didn’t care. I didn’t need a friend like that.

The next day, we were going to Church. Both Jenny and I wore Church dresses, tights and of course diapers. I also had a red ribbon in my hair. I felt so pretty. Hardly anyone knew me at the church, except the priest. He usually put his hand on children when we entered the church and blessed them. He did not do this with Jenny or me. We walked in the Church and prayed and sang as well as we could. Then it was the time for the sermon. He did something unusual. He called Jenny and me up to stand with him. I smiled as I thought this was because we look so pretty. We were at the top of the Church where everyone could see us. Then the priest started yelling,

“Look at these two children. This child looks like she is 6”, he said as he pointed to me, “And this looks like his older sister. We all know the story of Adam and Eve. God made man and woman. Despite what we think, there is a difference between man and women. Some adult men like dressing up as women and at the end look like cheap sluts with all their makeup on. God made women perfect, and transvestites are both ugly and immoral. Now these two children look sweet and innocent. However I know this small one. His name is Nicholas, and he is an 11 year old boy. Yet, he is standing here looking like a little girl with pretty hair and a pretty dress. I also saw that he has tights that cover a diaper when he was sitting down. He even has earrings! Now I ask you, Is this normal? No it is not! This boy is a baby sissy. Some would like to call it a transgender child or gender bender. I call him a sissy! It is wrong! This is not the way that God has created him. If this boy continues to divulge in his perverse ways, he will end up as a sinning transvestite, and engaging in gay activities, or even be those adults that we see that like to sleep in cribs and be treated like a baby. This is not the reason why we are put on this earth”

Jenny and I were crying. We were not here to be praised on how pretty we are. We were being humiliated. I wanted to run under the altar and hide, but his hand was firmly on my shoulder. I could see the people mumble and frown as the truth was revealed. The priest was talking that he would contact child services. Then we could hear the door of the Church slam. Everyone looked back. It was mum! I broke from the priests clutches and ran down and gave mum the biggest hug that I could.

“How Dare you!” She screamed at the priest, “Let us look at this child. A few months ago, he was on the wrong path. He was very concerned about peer pressure, and he went as far as to nearly molest a small girl. He smoked cigarettes. He had no respect for adults. Is this what God wanted? I am sure that he also has skipped school several times and I have a suspicion that he even tried shoplifting. Now in the old days, this was cured by petticoat treatment, which bought out the feminine side of a boy. In fact a hundred years ago, boys were treated as girls, even wearing dresses. Even today, there are some European schools that encourage boys to play girl activities. If my son continued the way he was, where would he end up? Would he rape someone, be a criminal, a drug addict, a drug pusher? Who knows? The fact is that in the last few weeks, he has transformed. Yes, he looks like a girl and acts like a girl and even a baby. But he is happy. He feels better. He feels like something that has been hidden in himself is now allowed. I do not care what status you have as a priest. God does not judge people. He does not hate people. You can call child services. I will fight for my son and support him. I will let him be the way he is inside. He will get counselling if he has a transgender disorder. He will be allowed to be what his heart and mind feels. I am sure that he will want to act bigger someday, and maybe even be as a boy. But one thing for certain, He is now happy, and is considerate and respectful. This cannot be said for you! You are full of judgement and a bigot. So contact Child services. I am sure that Child services and everyone here would like to hear how fond you are with altar boys!”

After saying all this, Mum took my hand and stormed out of the door. Jenny and Granny soon followed. We now went back to our own home. Jenny asked to see my room. I expected to find my old room, but it was redone as a nursery. A girl’s nursery! I was so confused. Mum must have known all the time. Was this all a plan? Or did Granny just tell her? I needed some answers. Mum must have known this, because she said it was time for everyone to talk in the sitting room. Jenny and I sat on the rug with a bottle of juice while Mum and Granny drank some coffee.

“I know you need some answers Nicola. First I would like to say that you look very pretty. I heard that you have not been well behaved at the start, but now you are well behaved. You are a loving and cute child. You must admit, that this is a change from when you went to Grannies. You were becoming impossible. You were getting in more and more trouble. I knew deep down that you were a good child. But you were on the wrong path. I came to the conclusion that you were not ready to grow up. You could not deal with the challenges and the temptations. I had to do something, and this is where Granny comes in.

Granny is not my cousin. She is a child psychologist that helps children usually by punishing, such as petticoat punishment. I will explain this to you later. The thing is that Grannies methods are very controversial, and her colleagues have done all they can to discredit her. However, she has a very good success rate. When I sent you to Granny, I didn’t expect you to come back as a baby girl. My only hope was that you would be more compassionate, think about consequences and not get in trouble.

At the start, you have been given pills. These are of course not vitamin pills. They were very expensive pills called the Pinkies, or PSPB pills. If we are to be correct. It is a highly experimental drug that does two things. The first thing is that it makes a person more submissive. The person will find it hard to think and rationalise things. The idea is that behaviour can be changed. Granny of course uses the drug to calm the rebellious side of boys and giving them a chance to be more feminine, then they behave themselves more. A side effect of course is if the boy accepts it a bit too much, and considers himself a girl, as in the case with you. A bad effect of these pills is that they destroy the cells in your body, and in some cases they weaken cells and muscles. The bad side effect is that you are no longer be as strong as you were, and you will not grow any more. This may be a bad thing, as you are not that tall anyhow. You can see that Jenny has stopped growing. I do not know if I agreed that you got the pills, as they are drugs and very addictive. You also know that you were begging for more. However, it is good that you have stopped taking these pills. You can see that Jenny still has a problem with these pills.

Granny as said uses petticoat treatment. The idea is boys have hunter instincts of being tough, rebellious and sometimes do not care about others. In today’s world, we need people that are compassionate and care about others. In other words, it is important that we all are a bit feminine. The girl clothes and room as well as hair and earrings were to bring the feminine side forward. The ideal is that this punishment will give you new experiences and teach you how to act. However sometimes, the boy thinks that he wants to be a girl, or is a girl. They find it very comfortable. This could be a fetish or maybe how the boy really is, something we call a transgender.

The diapers and baby things are also an old belief. Some believes that in order to change a person’s bad habits, they have to be broken down and rebuilt. The pills also helped this. You have accepted the baby things.  Maybe you feel more comfortable, maybe more secure or maybe it’s just a fun game for the while. Whatever the case, we will have to see what happens. Maybe it is a sign that you are not mature yet or do not want to grow up.

As you know, Jenny had the same treatment as you. If Jenny did not get this treatment, she would be in a very bad situation. Before she started with granny, she threatened two people with a knife, including her own mother. She now considers herself a girl and baby. I know it was hard for you to accept and respect at the start, but you have supported Jenny when she most needed you that day her secret was revealed. This was a sign that you have changed your ways. I know that you lost William as a friend, but you have gained Jenny as a friend, and I am sure you will get a lot of new friends.

So there you have it Nicola. That’s the whole story up to now. Now we have to decide what will happen. You can of course be a boy again. You heard the priest saying that you are a sissy. People can be very judgemental and cruel. They will think you are strange and weird. I am sure you have these thoughts yourself. I do not want to call you a sissy, as this has a very bad tone to it. I do want to take you to a specialist so you can explore if you are transgender or just like pretending to be a girl. If you are a transgender, it means you consider yourself a girl. Of course, we can just change your room and find your boy clothes. Then you will start at a new school, because I expect that everyone has seen the picture William has taken.

If you decide to continue being a girl, then you will have to start at a new school. Jenny goes to Madame Isabella’s school. It is a very secret private school. It is for boys like you. They consider themselves girls. Some boys are even teen babies, as they are called. The school counsels them, and helps the children understand themselves. Sometimes it’s just a phase and the boys end up going back to a normal school. However some continue. They are given a very good education and taught how to be females and live in society. The school also has what I call a dating service, with rich men who want a transgendered wife. We do not have to worry about that. Some boys even get hormones that change their bodies and voices, so they will resemble a woman. They even get surgeries, in other words a sex change. I do not think we should do this until you are 100% sure. The pill you have has done a lot. Your wiener will not grow, nor will your body and your voice not change.

So Nicola that is the best explanation I could give at the moment. I am sure you have lots of questions. But let it sink in and we can talk more about it. The question is if you want your old bedroom or if you want to continue being a baby girl?”

Nicola understood the most of it. Part of him was mad for being deceived and punished in this way. However he knew how he now felt and he knew what he wanted. He looked at Jenny and said, “I saw there is a dollhouse in my room. Let’s go and play with it and we can see what dresses Mum has for me. Maybe some fits you”

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