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I put the pillow over my head as I could not sleep. Dad left us because he said he could not be dealing with a 12-year old (me) and a demanding wife. We all know the truth is that he found someone that was much younger than mom. Since he left, mom has been in tears. She was heartbroken and thought that her life was over. I did not understand her. Why did she not just get mad at him and be an independent woman? Why did she not see that I was still there?

Up to then, my life was normal and I was a happy boy. My only regret is that I did not have a sister. Now I had a broken home and a mother that was depressed or sad all day. She didn’t have the energy to take care of me or even notice I was there. My birthday was also forgotten

I know that mom will get better, and I would just be a supporting son. This was not the major problem I had.

It all started on my birthday, I said my prayers and was in my bed feeling sorry for myself. You will not believe me when I say this, but a girl was suddenly walking around my room. She was very pale with messy hair. I could see she was about my age and she was crying. I told her she was in the wrong house and she whispered something I could not hear. My heart was beating fast and I told her she had to go. She walked through a wall and I screamed. Was she a ghost?

I did not sleep very well as how often do people see a ghost?  What if she came back? I should have been happy all that day as it was the last day of school before we got a midterm break.  I could not concentrate all day. I was in the school library looking for information about ghosts. There was a lot of information and I could not use any of it.

That night, mom went to bed early as she did not feel well. I made myself comfortable on the sofa. I was afraid that she would show up but figured she would find no one in my room and decide to haunt someone else. The sitting room was dark except a light from outside that shown in. I said my prayers, but when I was about to close my eyes, I saw her standing in front of me. I started shaking in fear and asked her to get out. She looked at me straight in the eyes and whispered something. I begged her not to hurt me, and she walked around as If she was confused or frustrated. Then she walked into the fireplace.

She was definitely not part of my imagination. She was a real ghost.

The next day, before I was going to bed, I cuddled up against mom. For the first time in weeks, she was smiling and said that at least we had each other. I asked her could I sleep in her bed, and she asked why? I told her about the girl who was haunting me. She gave me a hug and said that she knew Dad leaving us was hard on us, and now my mind was reacting to it. She tried to explain that ghosts do not exist and when we die, we go to heaven. She said that we had to move on. I smiled.

I didn’t want to make mom sad or worried again. I knew that I saw a ghost.

Mom gave me permission to sleep in her bed. I was happy as at least no ghost would dare to appear when two of us were there, and even if she appeared, mom would know I was not going crazy. I didn’t sleep well for days, so I was looking forward to getting a good night’s sleep. Mom and I said goodnight prayers together and she fell asleep straight away. I was giving extra thanks to God that mom was recovering and happier than she was.

Then the girl appeared, walking through a wall.

Why was the girl always crying?

I wanted to poke mom and tell her the girl was here. I sat up in my bed and just looked at her. I was not afraid of her. If she wanted to cut my head off, she would have done it by now. I had a wooden cross in my hands just in case she came to close to me. I was trying to be brave and not tell her to go. I asked her what she wanted.

She looked at me and I could hear her, “You are the only one that can see me. I have died but cannot go to the next world yet. I need your help, but the problem is you’re a boy… but I know you are not like other boys… I saw you look at girl clothes one day in a shop window. You stood there and looked and looked at them… I also noticed you playhouse and with dolls with the girls at school… I am sure you can help me. Will you help me?”

I was blushing and must have had a deep red face. I told you I wanted a sister. That’s because I would play with her toys. This girl knew that deep down; I had the heart of a sissy. It was something I always tried to hide and was ashamed about, as boys should not be interested in girl things. I looked at her and asked her what help she needed?

She looked at me and said, “If you look at yourself, you look just like me. We nearly are identical. Your hair is different and you have puffier cheeks, but we look alike. When I died, my mom started grieving and would not accept I am dead. I need you to tell her I am dead, and I need my mom to be happy before my soul can move on. The problem is she will not believe you. So I figured if we dress you as me, and tell her you are the ghost of me, she will understand that death is not the end of everything. You could say a proper goodbye”

“You want me to dress as you, as a girl, and your mom will think I am you... you want me to say goodbye?”

She nodded.

I thought the idea was crazy and told her no.  I could hear her crying and she disappeared once again.

She haunted me every night for a week and kept begging me to do this. I told her it’s a crazy idea. I told her it will never work. Her mom could see that we were not the same. I had pageboy’s hair and she had long hair. She told me that could be fixed. I kept on telling her, no, and she kept on telling me I was her only chance.

One day, she asked did I like when mom was sad. I then understood how she must feel that her mom was so sad, and the girl ghost could not do anything.  I promised her I would think about it.

She told me her name was Janet.

The next day, I cycled to where she lived. It was on the other side of town so that explains why I never saw her. The house looked normal, but at the same time sad. I wondered could I just walk up and tell her mom.

An old woman poked me with her umbrella. She told me that I should not go in there. The woman living there is totally insane. The old woman started thinking to herself saying out loud that she understands why. She explained that there was a little girl that lived there that was kidnapped and found dead in the woods.  The mother never accepted her daughter was murdered.

I ran and ran. I was crying. I remembered the girl. It was all over the news and we were not allowed to go out and play, as our parents imagined we could be the next victim. Mom saw that I was crying when I came back home. She gave me a hug and asked what the problem was. I told her about the girl being kidnapped and killed. Mom hugged me tighter and said it was good they caught the man, but that was not enough to comfort a mother that just lost her daughter.

That night when the girl appeared, I told her I would help her. She smiled and said it was time for some girl training.

The next day, she took me to the mall. I felt quite stupid speaking with a ghost that no one could see. She took me to get my ears pierced. I wanted to protest but she said that she thought about this to the smallest detail. Before I could think twice, there were two studs in my ears.

Janet (the ghost girl) then looked at my hair. It was not as long as hers, as I said it was pageboy’s hair. I suppose it’s long for a boy. I never really considered that my hairstyle was a bit girlish. Janet said it would have to do. She made me buy some girlish decorations for my hair, such as small butterflies and flowers.

Then she threw a bag on my bed. I opened it. There was a white top, white tights, Mary Janes and denim overall dress. I wanted to cry as I see the clothes. What did I say yes to? I was going to dress as a girl and convince a mom I was her daughter! At the same time, my heart was beating fast. I would be wearing a dress.

I got dressed in Janet’s clothes and looked in the mirror. I looked like a girl. I saw that I was also smiling. I loved the feeling of a dress on me, and how I could feel the air flow up my legs. I loved the feeling of the tights against my skin. It was like they were massaging my skin and making me feel pretty.

Janet said it was time to go. I cycled to her mother’s place and stood outside the door and looked at the doorbell. I was getting some anxiety as I looked at it and wondered would this even work. Every time I tried to ring, my finger stopped. I told Janet that I could not. She said we have come so far, so we could do the last step. I could feel tears running down my cheeks. They were tears of fear and anticipation.

The door suddenly opened and a woman stood there demanding to know why I wanted to bother her. She was about my mother’s age, but she looked a mess. Her hair looked like some witches hair, and her face was very pale. She had a bathrobe on and her eyes were very red. I gasped as I seen her. She looked so scary. She was not smiling. It looked like she could hit me at any time. Part of my body turned around and was about to run as quick as I could. This was a crazy idea!

“JANET!!!!!” she shouted as she took my hand and led me inside. She started kissing me over and over again on my cheeks telling me that she knew that I was not dead. She then started feeling to see if any of my bones were broken. She looked at my hair and asked when did I have it cut? She thought it was pretty, but admitted she liked me with long hair.

She then started cleaning the table, that had weeks of plates and old food on it. I sat down as she gave me some cookies and milk. She was now smiling saying that she knew that I was not dead. Then she told me how much she loved me and she never gave up hope. I looked at the real Janet, whom could not be seen by her mother. I asked was it time to tell her the truth. Janet shook her head and said she is not ready yet.

When we were done with the cookies and milk, I found an apron and started to clean the house. I felt like a maid and to be honest, it was fun cleaning. The house was so bad that you could actually see the difference as we progressed through the house. When I was vacuuming the house, the ghost’s mom took a shower and put on some clothes. I could see the real Janet smile as she saw her mom looking pretty again.

After I cleaned the house, I was playing with some dolls I found. I didn’t realize that so many hours went as I was having fun playing with them. The ghost girl said that I did my work and if I sneaked out, I could go home. I asked her if I should not even tell her mom that her daughter was dead but she was still here. The ghost girl shook her head, saying now she thinks I am her daughter, she would probably think I was a ghost, but also see that I was well.

I could not see the logic in this so I snuck out and went home. It was sad when I had to take off the girl clothes, but I thought I could always try them on when no one was looking.

Janet, the ghost girl did not visit me since. I figured her plan worked and she was now in heaven. Maybe it was good I didn’t confront her mom and say her daughter was dead and will be in heaven. She would have thought it was a mean trick that I dressed up as her daughter to tell her something everyone else was saying.

One night, Janet walked through the wall again. She said I should visit her mom again. Her mom was much happier, but we had to show her that her daughter was always around. I was confused, but it was a chance for me to be a girl again, so I did not argue.

The next day I have dressed as Janet again and cycled to her mom’s house. Her mom opened the door and was mad, asking where I was and why did I not ring to her if I was sleeping at some friends house?  I started crying as I did not know what to say. The lady was really mad and took me and locked me in Janet’s old bedroom. She said until I could learn how to be a good girl, I could stay there. I begged her to let me out but there was silence. I tried the window but that couldn’t even open. Janet’s mom had kidnapped me, but she thought I was Janet, so she didn’t think I was being kidnapped.

I was afraid the first few days, as I was locked in the room. The only thing that I could do was shouting through the door saying that I would be good. She said that I had to learn. I cried and cried and wondered how my mother was doing. The ghost girl was nowhere to be seen so I was totally alone. After a few days, I made the hours go faster by playing with the dolls and teddy bears as well as trying on the different clothes Janet had.

Three weeks went and I was suddenly allowed to come out.  Janet’s mom was close to me all the time and I knew I could not run. I saw the door and it had about 6 locks on it. By the time I had these opened, she would have me locked in my room again.  We sat on the sofa and had some pizza. The lady was telling me that she was sorry she locked me in the room for so long and hoped I forgave her. She told me she couldn’t explain what made her so mad. I looked at the TV. It was the news. Suddenly I saw my mom at a press conference. She was begging for the kidnappers to release her son. The news reporter said that I was missing for 3 weeks and despite a huge search, they could not find me. Mom was crying and looked so sad.

I started to cry

Janet’s mother gave me a hug and said the poor boy was probably dead. This is what she was afraid of when I disappeared, I had enough by now. Seeing my mom crying on the news was breaking my heart. I told her that Janet was dead and I was the boy that was missing. I told her everything you have read until now. I finished by raising my petticoat dress showing her a boys tent in my panties. I told her daughter was dead, but she would be in heaven soon. Janet’s mother started crying and screaming, asking me how I could be so mean to her. She said everything I said was lies and I am her daughter. She dragged me back to the bedroom and locked it saying to think how evil I was.

Days went by as I was back in that bedroom alone. My tears were gone and I used my time trying to send telepathic messages to my mother and praying for her while shouting why the ghost girl was hiding.

After a week, Janet’s mother opened the door. I could see she was crying. She started to speak to me, “T-they…. She was… the man… I am so sorry! Janet was out cycling in the woods. A man kidnapped her and… and hurt her… she must have died in so much pain… she must have died while asking me to come and save her… I remember the police telling me they found…. That they found Janet. I did not want her to be dead and would not believe in it. You are... you are that boy. You tried to help me and I locked you here. I went crazy thinking if I locked you here, I would always have my daughter here. I am so sorry. Your mom must be in so much agony and pain. Go home. You can tell the police where I live.”

I gave her a hug and told her the police would not know. She was still crying and asked was it true that I saw her daughter’s ghost?  Did her daughter look like she was in peace?

Janet then walked in through a wall and said, “Momma!” Her mom could now see the ghost of her daughter. She told her daughter she was sorry and she loved and missed her. Janet said she was at peace. She even forgave the evil man that did this to her. She loved her mom and would always be in her mother’s heart. Suddenly a light came through the ceiling shining on the ghost girl. She no longer was pale or had tears. She looked like an angel as doves were flying around her. She looked up and said in the joy she could see heaven. The doves slowly carried her up and up, until the light slowly faded away.

A few weeks later I was out cycling. I was thinking about the last few weeks. When I went home after seeing Janet going to heaven, I was hugged and hugged by my own mom. I didn’t tell her anything and everyone thought it could be trauma that caused me to forget. I must admit, that being kidnapped was not fun. It was evil that she locked me in that room. I could not be mad at her or hold a grudge, as grief made her do strange things.

As for home, things were now perfect. After the media got tired of the kidnapped boy suddenly coming home, mom and I settled into a new daily life. The kidnapping showed her that despite we don’t have a dad, we have each other. Mom was once again happy

I never saw Janet again. She was in heaven.

No one knows that for a few weeks, I was a daughter of someone, and dressed and was treated like a girl. Do I not miss being a girl?

The answer is no. I am cycling to Janet’s mother. I will dress up in Janet’s clothes and be a girl while I visited there. Janet’s mother is like my aunt now, and she allows me to be the girl that is hidden in me. Today she said she had a present for me. I was smiling when I opened it… a summer dress.

The end.

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