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Fairyboi (F);   Welcome to Shout! This is where we interview some people that have experienced the taboo of incest and abuse by an adult. The language on this show is very direct. Nothing has been censored. We have done this so nothing is hidden, and you know what really happens. Shout is meant for you to think.

Tonight we have a special guest. Colleen is her name. Her life has been very strange, as you will soon find out. If you do not feel any compassion for Colleen after this show, then something is wrong with you.

F:   Welcome to the show Colleen. Can you not tell us a bit about you?

Colleen (C):   Thanks for letting me be here. I am not sure I want to be here. I know that there a lot of old memories that I have to tell and deep down I will be screaming as if I am experiencing them once again by telling them. But it’s important people hear this. It’s important that it stops with me.

I am 13 years old now. Until I was 4, I lived a normal life with my Mom and Dad. I don’t remember a lot about these years. I do remember when we would be on holidays or we would celebrate Christmas. Looking back, these years were happy times and I was the happiest child on this planet.

F:  So what happened to the happy family?

C:   Dad died in the war, so it was just Mum and I left. It was a sad time, because she cried all the time. It was the stupid president’s fault, because he sent Dad in a war that no one understood. It was only mum and I left

After a while, we were just like every other family, just minus a father. Mum and I were happy and we did a lot of fun things together, like going to the park, and museums and birthday parties. I was once again happy, even though I missed my Dad.

F:  Then you got a new Dad?

C:  Yes, well I wouldn’t say he was a new dad. He was just someone who married mum. Mum met Chad (That’s his name) and then they fell in love. I was about 7 and I remember Mum telling me that Daddy would never come back, because he is in heaven. She said that she met Chad, and she loved him and she wanted to get married to him. I was a bit confused. How could Mum love another man and still love dad? What happened when Mum went to heaven, would she be married with daddy or Chad?

They got married by a judge, because he did not want to get married in a church. It was a quick event and I just remember that they kissed. I thought that was strange, and it was strange that Chad was going to live with us.

F:  So what happened when Chad moved in?

C:  He moved into Mums room. They slept together. I could hear the old bed rocking at night. Of course I didn’t know what it was. I just thought they were wrestling and without me.

But Chuck said quite a lot that I was his daughter and the first few months he would chase me around the house and play hide and seek. He would also wrestle me and read me loads of stories. By now I was not afraid of a new daddy and I loved him after a while.

I know it’s bad to say, but I was happy that we had a dad in the house until we could go to heaven to meet our real Dad.

F:  Was there some things at the start the confused you?

C:  He never went to Church. That was always important for Mum and me. He said that it was very important that I went to church, because he needed me to be Gods angel. That was strange that I had to be Gods angel while he stayed home and looked at cartoons .

Another thing was that Mum and I were not allowed to go in the Cellar. This was strange as it was not his. It was Mums house. Chad said that he needed place to be by himself with some of his friends.

Chad was a teacher at a private school. We never visited the school and the school was hidden far away.

F:  After a few months he really started being strange? Is this when he started abusing you?

C:  No, at least not sexually. Chad started reading stories to me at night-time. They were about an angel that was Gods special angel. This angel was supposed to be very close to God. However the angel was kidnapped by the devil and after a while got pregnant with the devils child. The Angel didn’t like the devil and missed God so much that she hated being the devils slave and pregnant.

When the Angel had a child, if it was a girl, then the devil knew she gave birth to an angel and the Child went to heaven. When she gave birth to a boy, then the devil knew it was his own, and the devil baby would be mean.

Every time he read this story, I was so afraid. I could hardly sleep.

F:  I could understand that you could not sleep, but what happened when he read this story?

C:  I was so scared because the poor angel was kidnapped by the devil and made to do things that she didn’t want to do.

At the same time, Chad kept on telling me that I am an Angel. I was so pretty and so nice to people, that I must be Gods special angel. He always called me angel, and Mum thought this was cute, so she called me angel. Chad used to come up to me and ask me if I was an angel. I knew he would get mad at me if I didn’t say that I was an angel.

Chad told me I was always to pray and go to Church, and never be bad. It was important that I was an angel and God would think that I was his special angel.

F:  This could not have been that bad. He was raising you to be a good girl?

C:  That’s what I thought at the time, but I was confused because he read that story so often. You know about Gods special angel that was kidnapped by the devil and made to do things that she didn’t like. I was confused why I was suddenly a special angel and if the same would happen to me. Why did he read this story over and over again, and then call me Gods special angel?

F:   You soon found out. What happened next?

C:  One night Mum was asleep on the couch. Now I know that he drugged her, but I didn’t know at that time. I was 8 when this happened.

His friends came. They were all important people in the town. They sat around the sofa where Mum was sleeping and feeling her under her nightdress. I thought it was so rude, but thought if Mum didn’t like it, then she would wake up and stop then.

Then Chad told me to go up to my room. There were two women there and there were black candles lighten everywhere. I stood up while they started stripping my clothes. They started putting this oil all over my body. I started breathing hard as they touched me, especially my chest and my pussy.

“I see the angel likes this”, one of them said, “Now we need to ask you some questions... Do you touch your pussy like I am doing now?”

“No.”

“Did a boy touch you here?”

“No”

“What about a girl?”

“No way!” Now I was confused.

“Good because only the master can touch you or tell you who is to play with you. But it will please the master that his 8 year old angel is an untouched virgin”

Then they put this white dress on me that was very big. It was see-through and sort of silky. I was embarrassed because everyone could see my privates.

Then they led me down in the cellar. It was so scary. There was blood smeared on the walls and it looked like a haunted house. There was a huge cross that was hung upside down. I was trembling when I was walking down the stairs. Deep down I was crying for my mother, but it didn’t come out. I tried to turn around and run up the stairs, but the women held on to me.

I was bought down where I was put on some altar. I was tied down to it. I was so scared, they could nearly see my body through the white robe I was wearing, and I couldn’t see them. They were all in black robes.  

Then they started to chant. I didn’t know what they were saying. At one stage, they were all standing before me and they started feeling me like I was some saint. I was trembling and crying. I wanted them to stop, especially when the robe slipped off of me. The women didn’t put it on so well, did they? Then the hands started feeling my body more. It felt good and at the same time it felt wrong. I was so scared. They didn’t stop because I was crying and screaming. They didn’t care; they just felt me all over. It hurt when their fingers went in my bum and pussy, but I couldn’t stop them. Despite the fact that I cried even more, they just continued. I was feeling weak and tingly because they kept fingering me.

While they were saying this I heard Chad chant, “All divine evilness, the power of today, the strength of the universe, the way forward, we offer you the angel of God. This girl who is as innocent as heaven itself, an angel that processes all the gifts of your arch rival, an angel who is your enemies precious gem and daughter, an angel that will now be your slave. This angel will now become your slut. She will be your whore. The fact that she does not want to will show your power. The fact the she will learn to like to serve you will be a victory for you. Be it your evil will, she will in time carry your Lucifer child.”

I didn’t have a clue what he was saying. I didn’t even know he was talking about me. The words just went in and out of my ears. I was thinking more about the feelings as fingers felt the inside of my pussy and ass were feeling around and going in and out. I was no longer myself. I was just a tied up girl experiencing feelings I never had before. 

F:   That must have been a weird experience. What happed after your visit to the cellar?

C:   Chad told me never to tell anyone what happened in the cellar. It was a secret, and if I told anyone, the devil would kill everyone that I loved. I couldn’t tell mum, because the devil made her like a zombie. She was always happy and never seen when things were bad. Even when it rained she would say how lovely things were.  Once she looked at TV show about a girl that was being molested by her father. The only thing she said was “Isn’t she a cute girl. I am sure she loves her Daddy.” Was it my fault what happened in the Cellar? I am sure Mum would think so.

F:  How what Chad?

C:  He stopped reading me that story. It didn’t matter as I remembered it by heart. He made sure that mum read me the Bible, so I knew what was right and I knew what was wrong.

He started coming into me at night-time. He would raise my nightdress. He smiled because I knew it was wrong and closed my eyes while saying please don’t. He would feel my flat boobs and asking me if I liked it. I just kept begging for him to stop. He would pinch them and ignore my cry of pain. He would run them in circles and I could feel them going stiff.

Tears would be going down chin, as he would start licking them and his hands would be rubbing closer and closer to my cunny. I would be whispering for him to stop and letting out a moan at the same time, especially when he touched my cunny. His fingers would touch my spot that made my body feel very tickly. I knew it was wrong but it felt good at the same time.

Chad knew this, and it made him smile, “It looks like even angels like something that God thinks is forbidden and not allowed.”

F:   Did the ceremonies in the cellar continue?

C:   They took place every weekend on a Saturday night. It would always be the same that I would be dressed in a robe and then I would go to the cellar. They would be chanting around me. I quickly learned that I was a sacrifice. I was something that God loved, and it must have hurt him that I was being abused by the devil.

Every time they started chanting, I started to cry. I was afraid of them and I wanted to go up and hide. I silently said my prayers and hoped that Jesus would come and save me. He never did.

After thy chanted they would feel me all over and finger me. Sometimes this hurt, as they were not as calm as Chad was. It was like they became animals. If I started to groan because it felt good, they would praise the Devil and say he was more powerful.

F:   In time they blessed you?  

C:   Yes. After they started feeling me, one would come up and I would suck him. They called this Lucifer’s Blessing.

I remember the first time that this happened. I was sitting naked on the altar. Then they told me to kneel in the centre of a star. I was shaking as I knelt down. Then they started their usual chanting again.

One man came up and opened his robe. I tried to scream when I saw his cock. I just stared. He took me by my hair and touched my chin with it. I remember that I thought it was so soft and warm. It didn’t feel that bad. Then he told me to lick the top of it as if it was an ice cream. I tried to look into his eyes, pleading silently that he must be joking. I couldn’t see his face because of his robe, just a smile. It was an evil smile, and that made me more afraid.

I started licking the top. It was so soft, but I knew that it was wrong. I started putting more and more of it inside my mouth. It’s not as if I had a choice. The robed man kept pushing it more and more of it in my mouth. I tried to shove it out with my tongue, but it was too slippery, and the more I did with my tongue the more he liked it. I was afraid that his thing would go down my throat and a few times when it touched my throat, I gagged. I thought I was going to choke to death. But the man pulled it back, and I thought the worse is over. This was until he came in my mouth. I started to choke and spit the sperm out. While I was choking and spitting out, I started crying loud. It was so disgusting and gooey. I thought I did my job, but Chad came up and slapped my face, and said that the cream was a present from Lucifer and I should never spit it out.

F:   So did you continue to be a cocksucker? 

C:   That’s a bit mean calling me a cocksucker. But everyone in the cellar did it. They said that Gods angel was now Lucifer’s cocksucker. I have quickly learned how to suck dicks, even though it was several after another, and at the end I didn’t even notice that it was happening. It was like as if a bit of me would die and let Lucifer do with my body as he wished.

F:   Was Chad a part of this?                 

C:  Chad was part of everything. He thought he was the devils best friend. At night I would hide in my bed holding on to the covers. I would be saying my prayers asking God not to abandon me. I think he was mad at me and abandoned me because Chad came in and lowered the sheets

He would do what he always did. He would take all my clothes off and say that God did really make pretty sexy angels. He would twist my nipples and pinch them. Sometimes he would turn me around and spank me. This really hurt, but he said it’s to get all the angel dust out of me. He didn’t care that I cried and that every time he came into my room, he was killing more and more of me.

He would then come on the bed, and without asking I would put his cock in my mouth and use my tongue to make him happy. I didn’t want him to slap me across the face. I would use my tongue and squeeze my cheeks so he would feel better. Sometimes an image of the devils cock went through my mind, and I felt like screaming. What would happen if it were really the devils cock? No wonder why God had abandoned me.

Every night he would squirt in my mouth. I swallowed and then slumped in a corner.

“The angel is surrendering to the Lord of all evil” he would say¨

Below my breath, I would tell him to go away and asked God to forgive me. I knew that he would be back the following night.

F:  So when did this go further?                 

C:   When I was 9, I was led down to the cellar. This time I only had a tiara on and I was totally naked. There was a collar around my neck and I was wearing a dog leash. I was put in the centre of the red bloody star, and told to be on my hands and knees. I did this, thinking that this was something new.

They started their usual chanting and then the room was silent. I didn’t know what to think and just kneeled thinking that this ceremony would soon be over.

Chad started saying, “Evil master, your angel is becoming more and more of a slut for you. She now enjoys eating your seed. She now enjoys the touch of men. This is indeed a great victory and a punishment to him that thinks he is better than you. This slut angel knows that what she is doing, yet she is giving herself more and more to you. She is replacing her relationship with God and becoming a servant to you. Tonight will be the night where this is finally done. ”

Then I felt something cold on my pussy. It rubbed up and down. I didn’t even cry.  It felt quite good so I just moved my legs apart. This was just as Chad was saying I was accepting being the devils servant. I looked back to see what the cold thing was. I screamed when I saw a dog crawl on me. I was so scared! I cried Nooooo! I tried to move but the dog held me fast. Before I knew it, he thrust his cock in my cunt. It was so big that I yelled and cried. I thought it would tear me apart. This was the end of me.

As the dog was fucking me, I looked around at the robed men. I was crying and I felt so humiliated at a dog fucking me and these robed me looking on as his dog cock went in and out of me. I felt even more embarrassed as I started moaning and at one stage I said that I loved the dog and started to meet his humping. At last he spermed in me. I was now his bitch.

The humiliation was not over yet. He knotted in me and I was stuck there for 20 minutes. While I was waiting, I sucked several of their cocks.

F:   So what happened after, did the others fuck you?                

C:   No, It took me a few days so that my pussy didn’t hurt that much.

Every night he would still come in my room and I would suck him. The dog now shared the room with me, and I was told that because I was his bitch, that he would be able to fuck me when he wanted to. I no longer prayed, because I think that God considered me as a bitch now.

I was also confused, because I really loved the dog, and I knew when he fucked me that he loved me too. He really thought that I was a dog. He didn’t know that it was wrong of him doing it. He just wanted to show me that he loved me.

Once, Chad took me to this farm. There was this strange thing that I was locked into. I didn’t know why, but I quickly found out. This pig was led into where I was tied up, and he mounted this thing. When he did this, he started fucking me. I was used to getting fucked now, so I just closed my eyes, and tried not to moan as his pig cock went in and out of my pussy. I know that if I moaned, the men would think I fancied pigs, and this meant that I was really Lucifer’s whore.

The next half year of ceremonies was about dogs and pigs fucking me, or I sucking them as well as the robed men. I think that enough cum went into my body to last me for a lifetime.

F:   Your father asked his friend to take his daughter. Tell us about this ?               

C:   One day, Chad and I was out shopping. We met Victoria and her father. I recognized Victoria’s father. His voice was the same as one of the robed men that were at the ceremonies. Chad said that it was about time that he bought Victoria,

“It’s about time that you bring Victoria so we can make her like Colleen.”

“I am not so sure; after all she is my daughter.”

“I have given my daughter to him, this is the greatest sacrifice. You have also enjoyed my daughter. It’s about time you make a sacrifice”

“Colleen is really not your daughter though, is she?”

Victoria looked very confused to what the men were talking about. I knew what they were talking about and it was hard not to cry because I knew what she would experience. I know she was a few years older than me, but it was still a shame.

It was obvious that Victoria’s father said no. The next ceremony was the second worse in my life. When I came down, I was told to sit in the triangle. Chad said, “This will be a boring night for you, because you will not have a chance to please the master tonight.” I was a bit relieved but looked around and seen that a robed men was tied to a pole.

Then they all started chanting, and the man that was tied up was trying to free himself. But he could not.

Then I saw Victoria. She was tied to the cross upside down. Then Chad said that tonight was a special night for the devil. They were going to offer him a virgin. He also looked at the other robed men and said that this is what happens when they are willing for others to sacrifice their daughters and would not do it themselves. The man tied to the poll screamed and begged Chad to let Victoria go. He loved her.

Chad took a hammer and then big huge nails. He hammered Victoria to the cross. She screamed so high. Chad told her she could scream as much as she wanted to because the room was soundproof. Every time she screamed, so did I. At one stage I shouted that I was sorry. I should have warned her. Chad looked at me and looked as if I could be next. At this time, I didn’t really care.

The men started chanting as Victoria was crying with pain. It took hours as soon her crying became less and less. Then she just stopped. I looked at her with the blood pool under her.

That night, I was crying in bed but I had a dream that she was in heaven with my Dad. 

F:   Did the other men start fucking you?                

C:  The ceremonies made me Lucifer’s whore soon after. I would be put on the altar, and then one man would stick his cock down my mouth. I was used to sucking men by now, so I just tried to get them to cum as quick as possible.

It was not that easy, because when I was sucking them, then another would stick his cock in my pussy. It didn’t hurt anymore, and I didn’t know if I liked it or not. Sometimes I think that I was trained to like it.

This could happen a few times. It was never enough that one man fucked me. Others lined up to fuck me. At the end I didn’t have the energy to think if I liked it or not. I just was so weak.

The end of the ceremony was always the same. Chad would ask me who are you, and I would say, “I am proud and honoured to be the Devils whore”

It didn’t stop here. I would go up to my room where the dog was waiting. He wanted to fuck me because he thought I was his girlfriend.

F:  Things became hard for you when you were 10?                  

S:   Yes. I was being fucked for about a half a year every weekend by these pervs in robes. They would fuck me several times and I would suck them as much as I could. I was another girl when I did this. I was like a slut. I wanted more and more. I begged them to fuck me. I didn’t believe that I was begging and wanting more. But I did. After the ceremonies, I would cry thinking of how much a slut I have become

Just when I was 10, I found out that I was pregnant. I couldn’t believe that I was pregnant. I was too young. It was like the girl in the story. I was now carrying Lucifer’s baby.

Chad took me to the doctor and Chad said that I was fooling around with some of the older boys at school. The doctor didn’t say much. I think he was one of the robed men or knew that Chad was one, so he was afraid. He explained that some girls can be pregnant at 10, he even seen a 9 year old that became pregnant. I would need to be cut up when the baby came, otherwise I would have a lot of pain in my back.

Chad laughed all the way home. He said that I was now Lucifer’s mother. I would be as famous as Jesus’ mother. I wanted to hit him, but it was strange, there was this evil thing swimming around in my stomach.

The next 9 months were horrible. I was becoming fatter and fatter. I was being teased at school because everyone thought that I was a slut. They all knew it was a baby.

You can imagine first being raped for years, then being pregnant, and finally losing all your friends because they thought you fucked any boy that breathed.

The worse was my own mum. She knew I was becoming fatter and fatter, she knew that I was pregnant, and all she said is that it was lovely that I was growing up. She never even asked who did it.

I continued to suck the men even though my belly was getting bigger and bigger. I was now brainwashed to thinking this was my purpose. I wanted their cocks in my mouth, and hated the baby in me because the dog couldn’t fuck me.

Before I gave birth to the baby, I was suddenly afraid that it was a puppy. But it wasn’t. It was a girl.

F:  What happened to your baby?                  

C:  I was afraid that you would ask about that. Now I am afraid that I will start to cry. My daughter was not good enough. Lucifer’s child had to be a boy. So in the next ceremony, they placed my daughter on the altar. I didn’t know what they would do, and they had me a bit drugged so I was very dizzy.

Then Chad took his cock and rammed it in my poor daughter’s mouth. At first I saw her kicking and trying to cry. I knew that the cock was too big for her, especially if he was deep throating her,

I tried to run and rescue her. I was too weak because of the drugs and because the stitches still hurt me after giving birth. I crawled towards my daughter. But I saw her kick less and less, and I knew that she was dead. She wasn’t dead. She was murdered

I cried and cried because my daughter was murdered. Chad gave me something in my arms that made me not think. Every time I thought of how much I hated him, I asked for the needle

F:  Were you pregnant again?                  

C:  Things quickly went back to normal.   Every weekend I was put on the altar and men stuck their cocks in all my holes. I begged for them and begged for more. I just wanted to forget my daughter. I wanted to forget God. I wanted to forget who I was. I have now accepted that I was the devils whore and I was good at it

I was pregnant soon after. My life could not be worse. Because once again I was a slut and everyone thought I was having sex all night and all day.

When my Baby was born, it was once again a girl

F:  Did they kill your second daughter?                  

C:  I was afraid that they would. After all they killed my first daughter, and I knew they wanted a son. So when I was home resting and taking care of Sarah, that’s her name, I was counting the days until when she would be offered.

On the Thursday I was weak. But I wrapped Sarah in some towels and started walking and walking. I was weak and I was afraid that I would fall down and crush Sarah.

You might not believe this, but just as I was about to fall, I seen a light. It was so strong. I saw a shadow through the light. It was a cross. I started walking towards the cross. I stumbled in the church. The priest came towards me and I told him everything. I was afraid that he would not believe me.

The next thing I knew was I was in an airplane. There were four nuns taking care of Sarah and me. They told me that Sarah was baptized; she was now one of Gods children. I was being taken to the Vatican where I would get help to get over everything that happened to me. I was safe now. God will take care of me.

I asked did they believe me, and they said that they knew everything

I asked what happened to Chad and the others. The Nun said the Church has their own soldiers, and Chad is no longer a problem or any of the other robed men. I didn’t ask what this meant

Mom will join me in the Vatican, but she needed a lot of help, as she was not herself for many years

F:  If you do pray, then pray for the victims such as Victoria and Colleen.