Hello. My name is Ashton and  I was 9 years old when this happened. I was a strange boy. I was one of those boys with a girlish face and it didn’t help that I had long uncombed hair. It was just a trend at that time. But it did make me look like a girl, and I hated when people called me a girl. One thing I was certain about was that I was not gay. I had a small dick and didn’t want the others to see it. It was also wrong to be gay. I thought that boys should like girls, even though I didn’t like girls at that stage. They were just annoying and posers.

One day, Dad told me to go over to our new neighbour. His name was Mr Morgan. He lived by himself and was so rich. That is why I was confused when Dad told me to go over to him because he owed dad money. This man was so rich, that owed Dad money, and why couldn’t dad get the money himself? Adults were so lazy!

I walked over to Mr Morgan’s house, and there was a lot of activity going on. There were workmen going in and out. I asked Mr Morgan does he have the money for Dad, and he said yes. He had a roll of money and gave me what he owed my Dad.

I was curious and asked what all the commotion was. Mr Morgan said he was getting a new Jacuzzi. I asked what that was, and he asked did I ever like farting in the bath, and that is what a Jacuzzi is. It blows bubbles in the bath so he doesn’t have to fart. I laughed and then left him in his new bath.
A week later, Dad asked me to go over and get some money that Mr Morgan still owed him. I thought that Mr Morgan should have saved his money by not putting in that farting bath.

When I came over, he just had his bathrobe on. He told me that he was on his way into the Jacuzzi. Then he asked me to follow him. I followed him into his room.

“I have an idea,” he said, “If you are not in a rush, why don’t you try the Jacuzzi with me? It is so nice and cool”
“I can’t. I have no speedos with me”
“That’s OK. One of my sister’s children left their bathing suit here. You can wear that if you don’t want to be naked”

Then he went through some drawers and took out a one-piece swim costume. I think my mouth feel to the floor, as it was meant for a girl. I couldn’t speak. He started taking off my clothes and I just stood there frozen. I just stood there!

“Did you ever have a girlfriend?”
“No”
“What about a boyfriend?”
“Are you crazy, I am not gay!”
“I am sure that lots of boys will think you are sexy with that nice pink swimming costume on you”
“Shut up, I’m not gay.”
“Don’t you think you make a nice girl? You have a girlish face and lovely long blond wavy hair”
“I am a boy, and I am not gay. I am a boy. I am only wearing this to try your new bath”
“I have an idea, why don’t we video you and then you can see what I mean.”
“No way”
“Come on, it’s just for fun. You will be surprised”
“I don’t know.”
“Then you can judge yourself after”
“OK”

He found his video camera and turned on some music. It was Barbie girl. I started dancing and thought it was strange dancing like a girl, but it was also funny. If my friends saw this, they would think I have gone crazy. I twirled around and showed my butt, and then I twisted back and danced like I saw them do on MTV.

After he recorded me, he put it on the computer. It was so funny. I really did look like a girl except that you could see my dick poking out. Mr Morgan said that it didn’t matter because my dick was so small. I didn’t know if he was joking or I should get mad. Then he said I was sexy, and that nearly freaked me out.

We went into the bathroom and filled his new Jacuzzi. It was right, it bubbled a lot. Once more I got a shock and he just went in naked. What’s more, he expected me to come in with him. I said to myself that it didn’t matter because his dick was under water, and with all the bubbles, I wouldn’t see it.

I went into the bath, and there was no place, so I had to sit on top of him. We were just relaxing, but after a bit, I could feel something hard under me. For a second I thought if it was his dick. But it couldn’t be... I mean why would it be so hard because I was sitting on it?

At the end, he moved me and then stood up. It was true; his cock was stiff and big. It touched my face. It felt so warm and soft. Again, I didn’t move. I was frozen. He said he was sorry, and just got out and dried himself

The next few days, I couldn’t think of anything else except the visit to Mr Morgan. I did something I never thought about. I danced when I was wearing a girl’s costume. I even let a man change my clothes. Then I sat on his dick as it went hard. I know it didn’t go in my ass, but it seemed so gay sitting in a tub with a girl's pink swimming costume on and on his dick.

I also let his dick touch my face. I remembered my thoughts. It's gross but it’s nice and warm. How weird could I be?

It was hard being at school. I looked at some other boys and the only thing that I thought about was if they had big dicks or not.

It was a week later, and once again Dad asked me to go over to Mr Morgan’s house to get some money that he owed. I nearly said no, but I just found my legs walking over there.

When I came in, he was once again in his robe. It seems like I always came as he was about to take a bath. He asked did I want to try the bubbles again, and I said yes, but I would have to loan his nieces swimming suit. He said I should remember my swimming suit next time. I didn’t care; it was only here that I wore it.

He stripped me off and put a bikini on me. It was a two-piece this time. I thought that I didn’t need the top, but he said that it looked well together. Then he told me before we go in, he had something to show me.

He turned on the computer and went in youtube

“You know that video we took last week,” He said, “I put it on YouTube. You were so pretty that I wanted to see what others thought. I know I should have asked you, but I didn’t see you and look how popular it is. There have been 300,000 hits. Come and see what some people have written about you
…. Is it really a boy? You must be kidding. He looks like a girl.
…. I do not believe that he danced like that, the sissy must really like posing for others
…. I do not believe it’s a boy, even though it does show a lump that could be a small object
…. This boy must be a faggot sissy
…. What a cute Barbie boy!

I was quiet. The entire world could see me dressed as a girl. What if some of my friends have seen this at school? Then they would think the same as the others. They would think that I was a sissy and faggot. I was not gay. I knew that for sure. I was not gay! On the other hand, I was suddenly famous. 300,000 people were looking at me. They thought I was a good dancer.

Mr Morgan asked me would I like to do another video. I said that I was wearing fewer clothes than the first time. He said that it would prove that I was not a girl. I was confused, but he was right. I started dancing while he videoed me. Then I just was on the bed on my stomach with my legs kicking slowly in the air. I was pretending I was a girl brushing my hair. Then I didn’t want to anymore so I said it was time to try the bubbles.

It was the same as the last time. I sat on Mr Morgan, but I knew what I was sitting on. I thought it was funny when I moved around and once in a while, he would groan. I was convinced that he was gay because I would move my ass and make his cock grow. I knew I wasn’t gay, but it was just funny hearing him moan.
We relaxed a bit as the bubbles kept pounding us. I think the bubbles made us tired because we didn’t say much. The only thing he did was slowly giving me a massage on my stomach, and I was too lazy to think if he should or not. It felt nice enough.

Then he did the same as he did the last time. He moved me and stood up. This time his dick wasn’t stiff. I don’t know why, but I felt sort of sad.

Before I went home, he asked me if I was sure that I was not gay. I looked him in the eyes, shaking a bit while I whispered no

The following week I looked at YouTube. I was once again getting lots of hits. I felt happy when people said I looked pretty. I was confused when they said it was good that I accepted I was a sissy. I was not a sissy! I just wore the bikini because I was going to try his bubble bath. I couldn’t tell 300,000 people that. I was a bit sad that they thought I was a sissy and a faggot. I was more worried that my friends would find out that my Dad would see or someone at school.

I was confused. I didn’t want to be gay, but why did I allow him to dress me in a bikini.  I knew he must have been gay. But did he really think I was?

It was my fault. I could have run home to get my speedos. I could have stopped moving my ass when I was sitting on him. I could have run out of the bath when he touched my face with his dick. 
Maybe being gay is like the flu.... maybe he was giving it to me. Maybe I was turning gay!

He must have owed my Dad a lot of money because the following week I was back at Mr Morgan’s house asking for money.

I told him that the YouTube video was very popular, and people really thought I was cute. I was telling him this as he started taking my clothes off. I was no longer embarrassed that he saw me naked. Then he shocked me once again as he started putting some Disney panties on me with a lot of ruffles in the back. He saw I was confused and said that we should make another video today. But this time, I should wear a party dress. I asked were we going to try the bubbles. He just answered not today.

So without complaining, I let him put this white dress full of lace and ribbons on me. He fixed my hair and put it in a ponytail. I looked in the mirror, and I really did look like a girl.

Then he started recording me, and first I just walked like a model, showing my new dress off. I was like an actor. He asked me to read something of a cardboard box that he had written and to say it with the most girlish voice I could.

“Hi, thank you for all your comments on my last videos. I am so happy you think that I am a pretty girl. I have to tell you the truth, I am really a boy, but I like wearing girl clothes. Maybe I should have been born as a girl. Maybe I am a girl in a boy’s body..  I hope that you like my videos and I will try to make more. I know my new boyfriend…. What... (You want me to say that...)… What I meant to say is that maybe I found a boyfriend that likes me being his girlfriend… (That is so gross and stupid)."

The video was over. It was so humiliating to say that I wanted a boyfriend. But once again, Mr Morgan had some power over me that at the end, I just said what he wanted me to say.

Then he asked me do I want some sweets (candy). I said yes. He told me to kneel down in front of him. I did, and he started putting sweets in my mouth. This was strange, me kneeling between his legs and him giving me sweets. I felt like a puppy begging for food. This went on for some time, and then I said that I didn’t want anymore.

He said he has one left, but it would be the best that I tasted. I would have to close my eyes. So he put a blindfold on me. I opened my mouth, and he said wider. This was a Popsicle and I would just have to move in and out.

Then I felt it enter my mouth. It was a bit thicker than a Popsicle and didn’t taste much. I started moving it in and out of my mouth, and I could feel that it was a bit wet at the top. My tongue started trying to find out what taste it was. I never did taste something like that before.

Then he said I was a born cocksucker. I stopped and took off my blindfold. I moved back. It wasn’t a Popsicle. It was his cock. I had his cock in my mouth. This man was a perv!

He told me that I should continue. He was also so nice to me and I knew that he liked it. I would just do it this once. It didn’t mean I was gay. I was just pretending to be a girl. I was confused.

I moved my head back to his cock again and closed my eyes as I started sucking. It was warm and hard. It was like I was sucking on a bone. He was moaning every time I played with it with my tongue. It didn’t take long before he started squirting in my mouth. I moved back quickly as his white sperm hit my face while some was flowing out of my mouth. It was salty and to be honest, I didn’t quite like the taste,

After that, it was time for me to go home. Dad would want to know where his money was. The problem was that we could not find my briefs. Mr Morgan said that I could just wear the panties, and they were a present. There was also a present for me at home.

Before I left, he asked me once again if I was gay. I didn’t answer,
“You are just a cocksucker,” He laughed.
The taste of his sperm was still in my mouth.

When I came home, I took a shower. I had to become a boy again. I had to wash whatever sperm went on me. I brushed my teeth twice, trying to get the taste out of my mouth. While I was sitting in the bathtub, I thought that a bit of his sperm went down my throat. It meant that it was turning my insides into a gaybo. I was now a faggot. Maybe I should just accept it. Instead of running away, I continued sucking him. I liked being a girl for him and liked when I pleased him, even if it meant that I was being pissed on or sucking.

After the bath, I looked in my drawer, it was full of panties. I looked through the other drawers but couldn’t find my briefs, I ran out to dad asking where my briefs were

“Mr Morgan has given you new briefs, and your other ones were so old that I just threw them out”
“But Dad, they are for girls. They have flowers and princess in them and lace and girly colours”
“Listen here, boys can also wear them. They are nice to look at and when you have clothes on, who would notice?”

I stormed out. Dad was too high on whatever he put in his arms to even care. I bet that is why Mum left us.

Over the next few weeks, I had a new life. At school, I would be very silent, afraid that people have seen me on YouTube or they could see what panties I was wearing. If we had a gym, I would just wear white ones that looked most like boys. I would take them off with my trousers. In the showers, I would look at the other boys and think that the ones with a stiffy were also gay. I didn’t even care if one bumped into me or rubbed my ass by accident.

A few times a week, Dad would send me over for money. The same would happen where we would look at how popular I was on YouTube. More and more people were looking at the videos, that were me that was pretending that I was a girl, or being a girl.

Then he would take my clothes off and rub me in with some perfumed cream.  After putting the cream on, he would finger my ass. I liked this. He said that it proved that I liked boys. I didn’t care; I just let his fingers go in and out. I was thinking of my friend Robert that always had a stiffy in the showers. The visit would finish with me giving him a blowjob. I didn’t like swallowing and always wanted to spit it out. But I would let him cum in my mouth and then it would flow out

That was my life. I was a YouTube celebrity, Mr Morgan’s girl and a boy that wore panties at school. If I wasn’t gay before this, I was gay now. Or at least people were being gay with me.

One day when I visited Mr Morgan’s house, he put this summer dress on me. He said that he had a good idea for a video for youtube. Once again I let him take off my clothes; He put thongs on me that looked very strange, then a summer dress. I was confused. There were no sex games like we usually do.

Then he said something that made my heart jump. He said we were going down to the mall. I said not in my life, People would know that it was me. Then he gave me a drink and said we could talk about it. I started drinking it and then felt quite dizzy. I started giggling and giggled, even more, when he said that I giggled like a girl. I said I didn’t want to go to the mall but was confused that I was sitting in his car when I was saying this.

The next thing I knew is that I was in the mall. He was saying don’t tell anyone who I really am, Let them believe I am a girl and things would go well. He would tape me as I sat on a bench and see what people’s reactions would be.

I sat on a bench and was less dizzy now. I was becoming myself once again. I was afraid sitting there alone. I knew he was taping me on video but did not see where he was.

This old man sat next to me and told me I was a pretty girl. I said thanks and told him I was alone when he asked me where my parents were. He asked me how old I was and I said 9. Then he said he would love to give me a hug, would I let him? I said OK and he started hugging me. His hands were going rubbing my back. Then he lifted me on his knee and started hugging me again. I looked around and was wondering who was looking at this old perv that was groping me. They most likely thought he was a grandfather giving his granddaughter a hug. What they didn’t see was that his hand was under my dress and his finger was in my asshole. He whispered to me that he loved sluts and he could do this all day. I asked him to please stop, but I wanted him to continue, and he knew this. He just answered that he would stop with my ass, and would finger my pussy. I gulped as his hand went towards the front and he found out that I had no pussy. He lifted me off him and then walked away quite quickly.

I sat there once again alone hoping that Mr Morgan would come and take me home. But as I was thinking this, Mike came. He was a 14-year old that went to the secondary school. He sat down next to me and asked,
“What is your name?”
“Err Amy”
“You look like this sissy at school, His name is Ashton.”
“Oh”
“You could be him wearing a dress. God Knows he looks like a girl.”
“He is my cousin, and he is not gay!”
“How do you know?”
“Because he is my cousin and he will be here soon, “I lied
“OK, at least you are hot. Are you sure that you are his cousin, and not his secret twin sister or him “
“If I was him, would I ask you if you wanted a blowjob?” I said trying to make him believe me, but why did I say that?
“How old are you, 8 or 9?”
“Nearly 10”
“And you want to give me a blowjob?”
“Yes, I love doing it. It is after all that girls do.”
“Follow me”

We went to the back of the mall outside where the delivery trucks came. There were some bushes. He took out his cock and I went on my knees. I made him say that he wouldn’t tell Ashton (me as a boy) or anyone else. He agreed and I started slowly kissing his cock. I could see that he was impatient and liked it at the same time. I started licking the top with my tongue and slowly putting more and more of it in my mouth. He called me a whore and said that I have tried this before. I just continued sucking him, and he was groaning and calling me every rude name that he could think about. It didn’t take him long for sperm in my mouth. It wasn’t as thick as Mr Morgan’s and it just went down my throat. I swallowed not wanting him to think I was afraid of spitting it out. He just rushed off without saying thank you.

I walked back to the bench and Mr Morgan came and said it was time to go home. He told me that this would be a great video on YouTube, but he would have to edit it. He could not put a porno tape on youtube. I blushed, as he knew what happened. Then he parked the car behind the church. He said that I kissed everyone else, now it was time to kiss him.

Without thinking, I sat on his lap. His cock was out and I started feeling it as he kissed me. Our tongues were exploring each other. I asked him if he loved me, and he answered that I was sexy and he liked me being his sex toy. This was not the answer that I wanted. Somehow he managed to take off my thongs when we were kissing. Once again, I liked the finger in my ass.
“Do you want me to continue?” He asked
“Yes”
“Tell me you are gay”
“I- I- I must be gay”
“You are not gay; you are a faggot sissy slut”

I screamed after he lifted me up and lowered me on his cock. I felt like I was going to die. I felt like he was going to split me open. I told him to take it out. I cried and begged him to stop. I tried getting my breath feeling his dick squeeze up my ass. I was crying. He said he loved little sissies that cried and he liked turning my hole into a pussy. I told him that he was raping me. He just said that I was crying less and moaning more and would love men fuck me from now on. I stumbled off of him and crawled to the corner of the car and didn’t say anything, just letting tears come out. He raped me. Now he made me a girl. Maybe it felt good at the end, but he raped me. This proved that he didn’t love me. He thought I was his sex toy.

He dropped me off at home. I walked in with the summer dress and threw the money on the table. Dad didn’t even say anything about my summer dress.

The next day after school, my best friend Robert came home to me and he said that he thought he saw me in the mall the day before. I didn’t even see Robert there? Did he see me with the man and older boy? I went red but then he said it was a girl that looked exactly like me. I was silent but he kept on talking about the girl that he saw. She was so pretty and all that.

After he met my cousin, he went on YouTube and seen my videos. He thought it was her first; however, he saw the one where I admitted I was a boy and wanted a boyfriend. Then he looked at me and it hit him. He pulled down my trousers and he could see the pink and white panties.
“Oh my, you mean that girl! She is--- you are… she is you?”
“Yes”
“And you’re wearing panties?”
“You can see that”
“Oh, my... You are a sissy. It was you in the mall. It’s you on YouTube letting all those people see you. What wrong with you, are you a queer?”
“I wasn’t always one. I was made that way”
“This is too much for me. My best friend I knew all my life is queer and is a sissy. This is just too much.”

Robert left. I plumped myself on the bed and started crying. I should never have told him. But I wanted to tell someone. I wanted someone to understand me. He didn’t understand me and I lost a friend forever

The following few weeks I walked past Mr Morgan’s house. If Dad asked me to get some money I just said he could do it himself. I saw Mr Morgan stand at the window looking out. I pretended that I didn’t see him. One day he shouted out the window that he liked my panties. I looked at him and said shut up. Then he came out and said, “I know that I raped you and it hurt. But you had to learn, and at the end of it, you liked it. You are a faggot and you can pretend that you’re not, and you can try to ignore me, but you will be crawling back for more

I just walked away

As for Robert, he ignored me at school. He didn’t even want to say hi to me. I didn’t try to say anything to him. I was afraid that he would tell people what he knew. But he was my friend, he wouldn’t do that

I was so confused. I was so alone. I didn’t know who I was anymore. One night I was in my bed. I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking about the last few months of my life. I was falling in a hole and I didn’t know who I was my friend anymore, and who I was. I got out of bed and took off my clothes. I went to the sitting room. Dad didn’t even notice that I was naked.

I walked over to Mr Morgan. He opened the door and looked somewhat confused when he saw me naked at the door.
“Now you come, what do you want?”
“You know”
“I said that the next time you would be coming, that you will be begging.”
“You expect me to beg?”
“Yes.”
“I want you to use me as your girl. I want you to fuck me.”
“Why?”
“Because I am a faggot and a slut and you’re the only one that wants to be with me”
“Come in”

I walked in happy to be inside the warm again. I noticed that there were two men there, and they were watching a video of me being fucked by Mr Morgan. I was so embarrassed. Now they knew I was queer. One of them looked at me and said that I looked like a girl, and I even had a girl’s ass.
I was a bit shy standing there naked.

One of the men called me over and he started feeling my nipples that quickly went hard. The other one started jacking me off with two of his fingers will Mr Morgan started fingering my ass. I was now doing what I was taught to be, being someone’s sex toy. The made me kneel on the bed and Mr Morgan began licking my butt. I thought that was gross, but it was him that was licking. Then I started sucking one of the men. His cock was quite small so it didn’t gag me or anything. Mr Morgan then stuck his cock in my ass. I didn’t feel as bad as I did before, it didn’t hurt that much and after a few minutes, it felt quite nice. I was sucking one cock at the same time and then getting my ass fucked. In my ass, I learned to squeeze my muscles and let make Mr Morgan even feel better. They came nearly at the same time. They put enough sperm in me to have four babies.

Then the third man put me on my back. He asked me was I hungry for cock. I didn’t answer, then he asked if I dreamt about cock all the time, is that why I came begging for it tonight. Before I could answer he raised my legs over his shoulders and rammed his big cock into my boy pussy. I had a boypussy, because it was a man’s fuck thing. He was rough as he slammed his cock into me, and tears came to my eyes. All the men commented on how they liked boys that cry like girls when they are being fucked. I could feel his hot rod thrust in and out of me, and I was moving back and forwards. I could hardly hold my breath. After a few minutes, he also gave me his seed.

Then they washed me and then let me sleep on the bed. The next morning they made me give them a blowjob before I went to school. I was not home that night, but I doubt that Dad even missed me
The school was quiet the next day. Robert was no longer my friend so I had no friend. I just sat alone on the playground. I wasn’t that happy. I kept on asking myself, tell me why. Why me? Why am I like this? Why am I not normal? Why can I never have an ordinary life with an ordinary girlfriend?

Then Mike, the boy from the mall sat down beside me
“Hi, Ashton.”
“Oh Hi.”
“I saw your cousin in the mall”
“Oh did you? She never told me”
“Oh, I think you know. A few days later, I was looking at YouTube and you know what happened, your cousin was on YouTube in the same mall. “
“Oh was she?”
“And she was on other videos. She is quite a pretty girl, and quite famous. They call her YouTube Barbie, you know why?”
“Because she is actually a boy that dresses as a girl. He is a faggot that dresses up in girl’s clothes and offers blowjobs to other boys. He is a sissy faggot”
“I can explain”
“No need to explain to me, you sissy queer. You are a good cocksucker, and I thought you were a girl; otherwise, I would not let you give me a blowjob. I am not a queer like you”
“I am sorry I sucked you. I was just afraid you would find out who I really was and-“
“Listen to cock face, I don’t care. Tomorrow I will make sure that everyone knows who YouTube Barbie is. You will be known as the school's queer fuckboy”

With that, he left.

I ran home crying all the way. My life was ruined. Tomorrow everyone would know my secret. How did I get myself into such trouble? Why was this happening to me?
Mr Morgan was waiting outside his house. He met me at the gate.

“Ashton, come in. I need a fuck really bad. I need your pussy”
“Can’t you see that I am not in the mood for it? It’s been a hard day at school.”
“I don’t give a fuck about how you feel. Get your pussy in here now.”
“No”
“Listen, who thinks keeps your father on his drugs. He promised that you could be my little fuck slut if I paid him money and give him his drugs.”
“W-W-What?”
“You heard it you stupid gaybo whore, do you honestly think that I owe your father money every week. He has been selling you to me. You are just his little whore that he rents out to a boylover”

I ran into the house and locked my door. I was planning on running away; I was planning on killing myself. I was planning many things. I was so confused. The consequences that led me here was because my own dad sold me off. He was paid by Mr Morgan to make me gay. I cried and cried. I didn’t know what to do.

The next day I stayed home from school. On top of everything else, this was the day everyone at school would be looking at pictures of me on YouTube. They would know who I now was. I just stayed under my covers.

That evening, the doorbell rang. It was Robert and his mother. His mother said that she had to speak with my Dad. I reluctantly took Robert to my room

“Ashton, I know that you are mad at me, I know that I have been ignoring you, but I had some things to sort out. I had some things to do, and I couldn’t speak with you. I followed you though, and I know what Mr Morgan does with you”

I started crying. He probably wanted to rub in that everyone at school knew I was YouTube Barbie.
Robert continued, I saw Mike talk to you yesterday. After I asked him what it was about. He thought I hated you and he told me what you did. He also told me what he would do. I warned him not to because if he did, everyone would find out that he let a boy suck him, and then everyone would think he was gay. So no one knows at school that you have been on YouTube.

“You really did that, I don’t know what to say.”

“I told my mother, and she contacted YouTube. They took the videos off and she contacted the police. They have the videos and Mr Morgan has been arrested. I am sure that if you didn’t hide under the covers all day, that you will have heard all the cars coming to arrest him.”
“He is gone; you mean he won’t bother me again?”
“Now My Mom is talking with your Dad. He is signing parental custody over to her. That means that you will now live with me, and we will be like brothers. I am so sorry Ashton that I was so mean to you since you told me. I am sorry I told my Mom. But I didn’t want you to be hurt anymore.”

I didn’t know what to say. I just gave my best friend and new brother a hug, I was being saved. I now had another chance.