Act 1, Part 5
Changes and Choices

The ad showed Lourdes and me in a bath where I was leaning against her and washing her air. You could see our nipples. Underneath it was the text that sisters love this shampoo or something like that. This made mom mad. She said once again, everyone thinks I am a girl. Dad told her not to worry as remember how much we got paid for it. I would still be doing films and the family would be living in luxury. This did not help mom, as she was going around mumbling that it is immoral to let people think I am a girl. She felt like ringing to the press and telling them I was a boy.

Dad told her to let things be. Hollywood could not help it if people thought I was a girl. If mom wanted me to look like a boy, she would straighten my hair and cut it so I looked more like a boy. I just sat staring at the ad. I was happy that Lourdes was proud that she finally was not doing sex films. I understood mom wanted people to think I was a boy. What would she say if she found out that I was molested by a few men and even my own dad! Was this not moral that not only did people think I was a girl, they wanted me to open my legs like one!

The ad was everywhere. No one thought it was bad that our nipples could be seen. This was 1934, so people did not think like they done 80 years later. However, no matter where I went, people could see the ad. It was in magazines and billboards. It was a bit strange seeing my half-naked picture everywhere. On the other hand, people thought it was a girl, so I persuaded myself it was not me.

Of course, everyone at the school studio knew about the ad. They were already told I was a girl, so some boys teased our nipples could be seen. This was a bit hard, but Lourdes told me to ignore them, as they were just jealous.

Mr. Gordon came to visit. He said it was time to discuss my future. He had meetings with Mr. Small who owned the studio, so he was just here to say what was decided.

“Shirley has been in a book and now an ad. This is only the start for him. What he should be doing is auditions and start doing movies. There is one thing. People think Shirley is a girl. The studio thinks that he will have more success as a girl”
“The studio can think again!” Mom said
“Remember you both signed a contract. Of course, you can break this contract, but you will be in debt for the rest of your lives. Remember we are in a depression, where most live in dire situations. Do you want to offer this to Shirley?”
“What does the studio want?” Dad asked.
“Simply this…. Shirley will from this day be considered a girl. He will live like a girl. He will dress like a girl. He will play and think like a girl. The public would not know that he was born with a boy’s body. They will see a girl in the films and consider him as the sweetest princess in Hollywood.”

He told us that he will go and we could give him an answer in time.

As soon as he left, there was shouting and screaming. Mom did not want me to be a girl. She said it was bad enough what I tried. It would confuse me and it could even make me gay. If she only knew! She also asked what would happen if I became famous and people found out I was really a boy. To be honest, I understood why she was so worried.

Dad said people already think I am a girl. He told mom to look at me and challenged her to deny that I did not look like a girl. He told me I was feminine and maybe I was one of those that wanted to be a girl. At any rate, the damage was done. Did they really want to live in poverty the rest of their lives? The fact I would be seen and known as a girl was a small sacrifice.

They did not ask me what I thought.

Mom and Dad ignored each other after the fight. They were waiting for each other to cave in

A few days letter, the mailman came with mail to me. It was from people that I did not know. One letter was from a perv and this upset mom. Another was from a girl my age. She told me how lucky I was and wanted my autograph! The last one was from a grandmother that praised my curls and told me how pretty I was in the ad. She hoped that she would see me in some films in the future. I read the two last letters over and over. People really did notice what I did and they thought I was pretty. They even spent the time to write a letter to me. It was the first time I saw mom smile about my fame. She did tell me not to get a swollen head and remember it was only 3 people in the whole world. I wondered did Lourdes also get fan mail.

Father Sheehan came the next day. Mom told him what the studio wanted me to do. They wanted me to be a girl! She was looking for his reaction and most likely thought that he thought it would be a sin that I would live as a girl. Father Sheehan went silent and then told me to sit on his lap. Once again I could feel a lump under me. I squirmed around until it didn’t feel like it was poking me. He kissed me on the cheek.

“Shirley is known as a girl. I am sure that God has plans for him. Maybe that is why he looks so… er... girly. Maybe God wants him to do this and spread some happiness in people’s dull lives.”
“Then why was Shirley not born as a girl,” Mom asked
“Who knows? We do not know what God plans and thinks! We can just look at the facts. Shirley is more like a girl than a boy. This can be a gift from God. The question is how will he use it?”

Mom sighed and said this is such a hard decision. She was going to get Father Sheehan some tea. He shouted maybe the decision is made, in that I allowed people to see me as a girl. He then took my face so I face him. He told me I may have a small dick, but the rest of me was all girl. He gave me a kiss on the lips and moaned. It was not a tongue kiss but it was strange that a priest we kissing me. Luckily mom came with some tea.

That night, the door of my room opened. My heart was beating fast as I thought it was Dad wanting a blowjob or to use my bum. I smiled when I saw it was mom. She sat on the bed and put her hand through my curls. She told me she was confused about what I should do and prayed a lot. She said there is only one person that could decide. That was me. I gave her a hug saying I was happy being her son.

Dad was waiting at the door. He also wanted to say goodnight. He told me that he really wanted to fuck me, but too dangerous when mom was around. He took out his cock and told me to use my mouth. I was used to this by now. It was always the same. His dick was filling my mouth and I was playing with it with my tongue. He was calling me a cocksucker and a faggot as well as a whore. Then he said that my mom told me what she thinks. He groaned and said I could just go to a Public School. He was sure I would see Lourdes once in a while.

Lourdes!

My mouth was full of his sperm as a tear was coming out of my eye. Lourdes was my best friend!

When I came down to the family the next day, mom was telling him I decided to stay a boy. I went up to her and said, “Mommy, I… well… I… you see… I prayed a lot and I think I am meant to be famous. People say I look like a girl, and I feel like a… you know…. Girl. I want to do films!”

Mom was in shock but gave me a hug saying that she understood me and would support my decision. She would make some tea for Mister Gordan.

Mr. Gordon whispered to dad, “Now we have that decided. I think you know what is expected of Shirley. It is something his mom will never accept. Shirley will be a candy girl. This is what we call children that… how do put it… are candy for men. In other words fame costs and your son, or should I say, daughter, will be a slut and whore”

Dad just accepted it. In a way, I feel like he was selling me!

It went quick; I was at an audition a few days after for a film about children that always got in trouble. I was wearing a light blue dress with white daisies. A lot of children were there. I just sat and sat waiting. It was so boring! In the end, I was called into the director's office. He made me read a few lines and told me how much of a pretty girl I was. The lines were easy to say and I thought I acted the part well. He was feeling his dick while I was doing the part, but this did not bother me as it seemed that all men I Hollywood was in love with their dicks. The last thing he asked was if I wanted to say or something before I went. I curtseyed and said a polite thank you.
I was not asked to do that film.

In the next few days, all my boy's clothes were thrown out and I was given a princess room. I loved my new bed, which was a canopy bed; one like a real princess would live in. I had loads of dolls and even a dollhouse. My shorts were changed with dresses and tights and shiny shoes. Mom thought the whole thing was still weird, but she said it was nice having a daughter.

After my first audition was a failure, Mr Gordon reminded me what a Candy girl was. He was certain that I did not get the job because I did not make the man happy. When he was rubbing his dick, it was an invitation. I was so confused. Did people get roles in films because they were good at acting or was it because they were good cocksuckers?

Dad took me to see the bakery close by. The Baker was so happy that I was wearing a dress. I didn’t know if he knew if I was really a boy, and if he did, he never let on. I went behind the cabinet where he lifted me up to look at all his cakes. While I was doing this, his hand was feeling the back of my thighs. They found their way to my bum, where his finger started probing my hole. It was so hard not to moan and groan while he was feeling inside it. He was breathing hard while he was doing this. Dad was just looking at the cakes. If he knew where the baker's finger was, he did not say. The bake pulled his finger out suddenly when an old woman came into the shop. He asked me what cake I wanted. When he put that cake in a box, he said that Dad already paid.

I liked going to school. I had friends and learning things was fun. I had the nickname curly top and everyone liked my dresses, saying they all looked so new. I didn’t tell them that they were new. Again everyone thought I was a girl. So when we had broken, I played with the girls. Once in a while, a child would be called out as a man wanted to speak with her. Lourdes was called out a lot. When she came back, she looked a mess and had smelled a bit funny. She told me once being a Candy girl takes a lot of time. She was my best friend. I was not in love with her, but she knew everything about me and never teased. She told me she went to a lot of auditions, but never was given a part. I felt sorry for her that she still had to do those sex films.

I went to an audition again for a film called “Little People”. This time I was told to sit on a chair. While the man asked questions, he stood behind me. It was hard to answer the questions as his hands went down the front of my dress and he started feeling my nipples. It was embarrassing, but it felt good at the same time. In the end, he asked me did I want to say anything before I went.

“D..Do you… I mean… Do you want me to suck you? I want to make you feel good!”

He came in front of me with a smile. I pulled down his zip and pulled out his cock. I started licking the sides of it and slowly putting the dick in my mouth. While I was sucking him, he told me I was a special girl. I would go far if I made everyone this happy. I could not say anything as his dick filled my mouth. After working on his cock, he cummed in my mouth.

On the way out, I did not notice that my dress fell over my shoulders. Dad sighed and told me to fix my dress, so mom would not see it when I came home.

That evening I was in my nightdress with my mother. Kieran was playing on the ground. I felt happy as I was just cuddling with mom. She said it was weird being told I was not a boy, but a girl. However, she was quickly accepted this and even enjoyed having a daughter. Kieran looked confused as he said, “Shirley is my sister now”.  This made me blush.

Dad said he would put me to bed. He told Kieran he could stay up late because he was older. This never happened before. Kieran always went to bed early because he wore diapers. I found out why Dad wanted me alone. I should have known. He got me naked and put some lubricant on my bum- Before I could say anything he had his dick in me. He was gentle and fucked me slowly, telling me not to make noises. This was hard as being fucked still hurt a small bit. He whispered and told me that he loved me, and would love to make me pregnant! Could I get pregnant now that I was a girl? His dick went in and out of me as I looked at the ceiling and bit my lip. I looked at the door and seen a shadow go by it. This made my heart beat quicker. Was it mom?

When Dad finished what he was doing, I went to the toilet as I felt dirty and like I was leaking.

When I came back, Kieran was in bed.

“Kieran, can I ask you something?” I asked
“Of course”
“This is hard to ask, but does dad… like does he love you… a lot”
“Yes, of course, he loves me”
“Does he hug you or treat you like a candy girl”
“What is a Candy girl? Why would he treat me like a girl? I am a boy. You are the only girl here!”

I sighed. I should have asked if he was having sex with Dad, but that would be admitting that I was. I had to keep it a secret.

Mom came into the room and kissed us goodnight. She said the studio rang, and I got the part in the film!

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Alexander Temple 2018