When we came home, it was so strange. It did not seem like home. It was more like a distant memory. I felt like I was a guest. This was strange as I lived here all my life and only was at the boot camp for the summer. I went into my room and sat on a beanbag. I remembered what I was like before I went to the camp. I remember it was fun listening to music and going to the mall to hang with friends. I did not want to stay at home and listening to Moms bickering. I sat on the beanbag thinking about this girl.
That girl was gone.
I definitely did not want to go back to the camp. I didn’t like the place. It made me think that the only thing I was good at was being a whore. I may have done what Captain Tom said, but I was not respected. I wanted to survive the camp. I hated it! I was good at being a whore. I liked when men liked my body and when I could please them. Captain Tom said some are born to be prostitutes. The hardest part was for them to accept it. I accepted it when I was at the camp. Men were sexually frustrated and no one would have sex with them. I made them feel better and they never complained. The camp made me less of a spoiled princess and learnt that everyone has a place in society. On the other hand, I knew Captain Tom forced this on me by drugging me and making me afraid of him. He did not give me a choice. He made me accept that I was a child prostitute.
I did not trust him. He forced Daniel as well. I started crying thinking that my best friend was somewhere alone and with no one to take care of him. He was the only one at the camp that seen me more than a sex object. He was a true friend. I was worried about him and I missed him. I missed him. I could not stop crying
Mom heard my cry and came in and sat next to me and hugged me.
“The boot camp must have been hard,” she said, “What happened? How could it be so bad that it has you in tears? Did they make you work hard? What happened?”
I looked in her face but said nothing. She hugged me tighter and said she had no choice but to send me to the camp, as I was on the wrong path. Then she went on about how much she loved me and she was glad the camp could help me. This confused me. How did she think it helped me? She did not know and besides, I was in tears.
It did change me. I did not go to the mall like I used to. I did not get cheeky when my mom said something. If she asked for help to do the dishes or some housework, then I did it. It helped pass time when I was like a maid working around the house. The house never looked so clean or tidy. Mom didn’t mind at first. She thought it was nice having someone to help her. She would speak and try to start a conversation. I would just say yes or no. I loved my mom, but I did not know what to say back to her. I knew she wanted what was best for me. I also knew she thought the camp was good for me, so I did not want her to give me an excuse for sending me back.
The same night we came back, I had to go to my room. For some reason, I started to shake and sweat. I was on my bed and started moaning and groaning; it felt like I was dying. I took off my clothes and continued twisting and turning around in the bed. I was so afraid that I felt my heart beat so quickly. Then I couldn’t breathe. In the middle of everything I vomited. Mom came and said it was good that I came home as I was sick.
Mom noticed that I was not who I once was. She noticed I only said yes or no. She noticed I didn’t want to go out. She was worried. She didn’t know if it was because of camp or because sometimes I was in agony on my bed. Maybe she wanted her old daughter back, the way I was. Mom tried being nice. She told me to come out to the backyard and showed me a small garden patch. She told me it was mine and I could make my own garden there. I gave her a hug and started crying. It was one of the nicest things that happened to me.
At school, things were different as well. My friends seemed suddenly so childish. All they talked about was the mall and boys. When they talked about what the first kiss would be like, I had nothing to say. It seemed like I knew a lot more than they did. If someone said the word “whore”, they would giggle. It did not make me giggle; it was who I was at camp. I didn’t know if that still made me a whore. It didn’t help that I had anxiety attacks where I would sweat and sometimes even vomit. After a few days of being back at school, I was ignored by my old friends.
My teacher's name was Mr Wesley. He noticed one day when I was in agony at the corner of the playground. He asked did I want to see a nurse. I said no, I was just feeling bad about being in a boot camp. He knew which camp as he said he visited there a few times. This made me panic more as I wondered did he know what a “Chosen one” was. I didn’t ask as he started telling me I was having withdrawal systems and he asked me was I a junkie. I was shaking and couldn’t deny it, but his answer made me happy. At least I knew why I was feeling like this all the time.
When I came home, I searched my mom's medicine tablet for anything that looked like rainbow tablets. I couldn’t find any, except some headache tablets, so I put a few of these in my pockets. Then I went on the internet and found out that it took time to get the drugs out of my body. I remember when Daniel told me that I had to be careful or I would be a junkie.
The fact is after a few days I felt better. I still helped mom do housework and spent all my time doing gardening. It took a week before I didn’t have all the anxiety and shakes. I loved gardening. I planted some flowers as well as some vegetables. It was like I was mother Earth that made things grow. It is very strange when you toil over some dirt and in time you see life grow from it. It added to the beauty of the world. Of course, at the moment, my plot was just dirt. But after a week of toil, I knew there were seeds in the ground and this was the start of new life.
I did not know if I was happy or not. My body was now clean and it was not being sold. However, I was so afraid. I was afraid mom would send me back to the camp. This meant I did everything she said and just answered yes or no. I did not want to have a conversation with my mom. She would say to me that I seemed so sad and ask did I miss the camp. When she said this, I would get anxiety and try and even be more obedient. I missed the routine at the camp and the fact I knew what was expected of me. However, I did not want to go back.
The school was the same. My old friends suddenly thought I changed too much and this meant I had no friends. I sat down under a tree every day using my phone to chat with a kids chat. It was a way I could tell what was in my heart and no one would know me. I do not know why they called it kids chat, as it was all men asking for pictures of me and asking was I a virgin. I would, of course, tell them the truth and that I was a whore. I refused to send them a picture, so they thought I was fake. Some wrote that I was a 40-year-old lonely perv which made me smile.
Mr Wesley told me to stay after class today. When we were alone, he put a Rainbow tablet down on his table. He asked me did I want it. He knew I was a junkie. I was surprised that a teacher would even offer it to me. I admitted that I did try them, but my body was clean now. It was right what I was saying. Even though part of me wanted to snatch it and be in another world, I did not want to be sick like I was when I came back from camp.
“This is no trick. If you ever want a tablet, then ask me,” He said as I couldn’t get my eyes off of it. “It will cost you though”
“H-How much”
He then turned his laptop towards me and told me to look. It was the video of Daniel and I having sex. The memories of when he was ordered to be rough came back to me. It was so embarrassing that my teacher knew what happened. I could see that his hand was rubbing his cock through his pants as he told me that there were nude pictures of me all over the net. I was a celebrity! He knew about the “Chosen Ones”, so if I wanted to have a tablet, I knew what I had to do.
I ran all the way home and threw myself on my bed. Just when I thought I was getting over my time at camp, I found out I was a celebrity. I will always be known as the naked girl on the net. The 9½ year old that was a slut. Captain Tom was right, this was the path that I would be on during my life, and it would be a hard path to leave. I would always be a whore. Men would want my body.
Mom came to me and sat on the side of my bed, “You have not been the same since you came home. You get sick and you cry. You do what I tell you, but we do not talk. I have this feeling that you do not love me. I have this feeling the camp did not fix you right? Did I bring you home too early?”
I gave mom a hug and wanted to tell her that I loved her. I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted her to make me a little girl again and not worry about pictures on the net or me pleasing men. I wanted to be able to love life again and not worry. I wanted my innocence back. I couldn’t tell mom that her daughter was a whore. She would hate me. Despite the fact that I remembered being a whore was not so bad. At times I enjoyed the sex. I just didn’t want to go back to that camp. I had to show mom I was happy. I figured the problem was I worried too much and thought too much. This just caused tears and anxiety. I decided maybe a few rainbow tablets would bring a smile to my face.
The next day, I met Mr. Wesley after class. I asked him if he would drive me home. This put a smile on his face. He told me he could drive me to the woods. While he was driving, he felt my thigh. I spread my legs and his hand found my pussy. He moaned and told me he knew why I was sad and had so much anxiety. I accepted I was a whore, and this made my life easy. I knew what to do and I knew spreading legs would please people. I could not answer him, as I was moaning as his fingers were feeling my pussy. He stopped the car and I got naked and moved in the back seat. I leaned over and looked at his cock and teased him that he was a bad teacher. Then I started licking the sides of it while playing with his balls. My mouth was putting in heaven. He just laid back and let me do all the work. He was right, I did like men and I liked their dicks. They felt so silky in my mouth. I think he would have allowed me to suck him dry, but I wanted him to remember this for the rest of his life. I stopped and looked in his eyes and asked does he want to fuck me. There is not a lot of room in the back seat of a car, but he managed to put his dick in my pussy. He told me how tight I was and started to fuck me. I was once again letting a man fuck me, but this time it was me that decided. I did love having a dick inside me and I did love when they enjoyed my body.
I realized I was born to be a whore.
He gave me a rainbow tablet, but I did not need it. I was smiling and so happy that I finally accepted who I was. The camp may have forced me to be a whore, but now I would decide who gets my body and for how much. Mom could see how happy I was; as I gave her a huge hug and told her I loved her.
“I am sorry I seemed so sad,” I explained, “The camp was awful and I hated it there. It was also because I missed you so much. I have been afraid since I came home that you would send me back to that hell.”
Mom said the camp worked and she was happy that I said I loved her. I asked her did she want to help me in my garden, but mom said she had to go out as she had to meet someone at the café. I joked and asked was it a date. Mom smiled and said she would be back in a few hours. I told her I would garden and then watch some TV.
Life could not have been better for me now. I started getting rid of the few weeds and watered my little patch. I was speaking with the plants, telling them how beautiful they were. I was the mother of my plants, and they would learn how much I loved them and would protect them from everything.
My cell phone rang.
“Help! Help me. Come and save me… ouch”
It was Daniel! In a way, I was happy that he was still alive. Then I got some anxiety as I realized that he was in trouble. He needed my help to save him!
I paced back and forth worried and having an anxiety attack. I was crying and could not stop pacing. I found my Rainbow tablet and took that. Then I found a bottle of wine that mom left open, and I started drinking that. After an hour of this, I was floating and singing how I would save Daniel. I was high and drunk but did not know this. I was now Batgirl, the hero that would save my best friend. In reality, I spilt a lot of wine, while I knocked over furniture. The place looked like a bomb hit it. I quickly forgot about Daniel and found more wine. It seemed like every sip I took to set me free. I found Moms lipstick and wrote the word “whore” on the wall. I was now giggling and dancing in the room until I collapsed.
When I woke up, I found myself on my bed. I did not remember much besides I took a rainbow tablet and a glass of wine. I did not understand why my head hurt so much. I also felt so sick.
I groaned as Mom came in
“I left you home for a few hours and then came home; I found that you collapsed after getting drunk. You obviously do not love me, as you destroyed the sitting room and wrote that I was a whore on the wall. It is obvious that you hate me and do not respect me!” She shouted while she added, “What 9 year old knows what a whore is? What 9 years old gets drunk? What 9 years old hates their mom!”
I moaned and told her I could explain. I was going to tell her that I was a chosen one. I was going to tell her Captain Tom was a pimp and the camp molests and abuses children while screwing with our minds. I was going to tell mom that Daniel tried to ring to me. She would not listen. She decided that I would be sent to the camp once again. I pleaded and begged her not to send me, but she said made her mind up and slammed my bedroom door as she left
I cried on the bed thinking of the camp. I am sure I would be happy there is a chosen one. However, I did not want to be owned by Captain Tom and the camp. He told Daniel to hurt me. He never asked if I wanted to do things. I was like his property. I was like his slave.
I was not going back to that camp. I packed a backpack and sneaked out the house. Yes, I decided to run away. I would go to the city, and somehow I would survive. Maybe I would find Daniel!
Running away was better than going back to that camp
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Alexander Temple 2018
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