the black tide
Who
can blame my dad for moving? He lost his wife when I was
born eleven years ago and now he found someone he loved.
The problem is she lived in Brazil and she could not get
permission to live in our country. This meant that we
had to pack all our things and move to Brazil. Dad
ensured me it was not a drug infested country that
kidnapped everyone they could. We would be living in an
upper-class area. It would be like living in paradise. I
did not complain. I told dad he had my support.
Moving
to Brazil was a nightmare. The moving company lost a lot
of things, which included my suitcases of clothes. It
just shows when you move like we did, use a company with
a good reputation. We bought a few pair of shorts for me
and some tank tops. Dad said we had to be careful with
money, as most of his funds are used for the rent of the
house. He promised things would get better when he got a
job. I put on my brave face and said we would survive.
We
used a few weeks moving in and getting furniture in
place. We wanted it to be ready before my stepmom came.
There was an old man that lived next door to us. I
remember the first time he came. He started feeling my
hair that was skater boy hair. He then told dad that he
had a pretty daughter and asked how old I was. Dad
laughed as I blushed. He told Mr. Ken that he always
told me to cut my hair and I was an 11 year old boy. I
was blushing as it took a while for Mr. Ken to
understand that I was indeed a boy. Despite this, he
helped us a lot and I liked him.
The
day of the wedding came and dad managed to get enough
money to buy me what looked like a toddler sailor
uniform. I must have looked so cute. It definitely would
explain the many pinches I got on my cheeks. I didn’t
mind. I now had a new family. It was easy to see my
stepmom loved dad and I knew she cared about me. She
also had a daughter that was 11. That made me happy as I
always hated being a single child. Now I had a mum and a
sister that could be my twin. The wedding day was great,
as it meant that my old life was left behind and I was
now in a normal family.
I was
right! My stepmom was great. She treated me like her own
son and even told me she consider me her own flesh and
blood. She was strict at times, but she also spent time
with us, playing games, watching TV and letting us help
cook. If I had a problem, I knew that I could come and
ask her for help. I loved when she brushed my hair. She
never told me that I should get it cut.
My dad
was so happy now. He was in love and treated his wife
and new daughter extremely well. I was happy because he
was happy. The only thing was the possessions that we
were missing. These included my clothes. The pair of
shorts we bought was getting old and worn and boring.
This was the one downfall in our life, and I knew dad
worried about our finances. Sometimes he got frustrated
and told us he should have checked if Brazil needed
someone with his qualifications
My new
sister.... Whose name is Eva was like a twin. She didn’t
like drama or to cause trouble. She accepted dad as her
own dad. The best was I knew she loved me and considered
me her brother. In fact, when we went to town, people
thought we were twins. This was great, except when
people thought we were two girls.
They
call the period after a wedding the honeymoon period. We
were a perfect family for 5 months
We
started at a private school, and I had to loan an old
uniform they had there. Many children there were snobs,
but I made a few good friends. This didn’t last long
though. When we started our summer holidays, dad said we
would be starting at public schools after summer. Eva
did not mind this as she thought the rich kids were
spoilt brats. Dad was the most disappointed about it as
he wanted the best for us. After he told us, he sunk in
his chair drinking a lot of beer. This was something
that happened a lot lately.
A few
days after, I was hanging around the house. Dad was
speaking with our neighbour Mr. Ken. He was very drunk
and it was hard to understand. Stepmom was no better as
she drank glass after glass and was flirting with Mr.
Ken. Dad was complaining that he was giving up looking
for a job. Then he looked at me in an angry way and
asked why I was sad? I did not want to say that my
parents were alcoholics and needed help. I whispered
that I needed new clothes. Dad got mad and told me to
show him a tree money grew on.
Still,
where did he get money for all the drinks?
The
next day, Mr. Ken visited again. He was not drunk,
unlike mom and dad. Dad shouted for me to come. I saw
Mr, Ken had two suitcases with him. He said they were
from his granddaughter, but I could get them. It was
like Christmas and I hugged him and did not care the way
his hand was rubbing my back thighs and a few fingers
were going up the back of my shorts. My good mood was
short-lived when I opened the suitcase. They were girl
clothes. Girl cotton shorts with bright colours and
t-shirts and tops with girlish drawings. There were also
belly tops and bikinis. I was of course about to scream
in despair. How many times did I tell him I was not a
girl? Dad of course got mad at me, and said Mr Ken was
trying to be nice with me. Should I not thank him? I
gave him a hug and he said he knew they were not in my
taste, but they would do until Dad got a new job.
He
pulled Eva on her lap as Mum and dad started drinking
more. I do not think anyone noticed his hand around her
drawing circles around her flat chests. Another hand was
rubbing her thigh. Dad didn’t mind, and asked what Mr.
Ken’s occupation was. He said he worked doing movies and
worked in the tourist industry.
Eva
jumped on his knee saying she wanted to be a movie star.
Everyone laughed except Mr. Ken.
Things
got worse at home as dad and stepmom was constantly
drinking. Whatever money they got was used for drinks or
drugs. They were no longer the people we knew. They
would drink and take drugs and then fight. There was
never food in the house and Eva and I was on longer
noticed. We became very close to each other and tried
cooking with what we could find and hiding when the
fights got too much
The
honeymoon was over and hell replaced it
Eva
started disappearing more and more. She told me she
could no longer hang around the house when it was like a
war zone. This made me sad as it meant I was alone at
home. I asked her if I could come, but she always said
no. I asked her what she was doing and she just shrugged
her shoulders. Just imagine how I felt. I didn’t like
that she didn’t want me to hang around her. I didn’t
like she didn’t tell me what she was doing. Was it
because I looked like a sissy? Was she
embarrassed with me?
One
day, Dad called me over to him as he was sitting on his
chair. It was one of the rare occasions when he was
sober and not high. He thanked me for understanding
about not having the right clothes, or food or anything.
He admitted that it was a mistake coming to Brazil as he
was not wanted. I wanted to cry seeing my dad was so
sad. I asked how he could pay for the drugs and drink.
He said they were not drugs. They were medicine. I knew
better. He admitted that Mr. Ken shared with them. He
thought that Mr. Ken was a good friend. I did not see it
that way.
The
sad thing is this would be the last time I seen dad
sober or we had a decent conversation.
Everyone
around me was getting strange. This included Eva. I was
shocked when I seen her one day with a tattoo on her
upper arm. It was a little butterfly symbol. I started
bombarding her with questions. Why did she have a
tattoo? Did it hurt? Where did she go? Why couldn’t I
come with her? Did she have a secret job? I got no
answers, which was driving me crazy.
One
day I decided to see or myself where she went. This
meant I would have to be in public with my sissy
clothes. I put some sunglasses on, as I thought they may
help me look invisible. She left the house and I
followed her without her seeing me. It was fun playing
detective, but it had a greater purpose. I had to know
what Eva was doing in secret. I followed her to an
industrial part of town to a small warehouse. Some man
that looked like a guerrilla let her in. I snuck around
the warehouse, but I could not see through any windows.
I knew I could not just walk in as that security fellow
would beat me to pieces. At least now I knew where she
went all the time. The only question was what she was
doing there.
I
started to walk home and a fancy car stopped and its
window opened. It was Mr. Ken. He was surprised to see
me in this part of town. He told me he would drive me
home. He was smiling as we drove home. He told me that
the clothes looked great on me. The denim shorts were
very short that they showed I loved summer fun. Whatever
that meant…. He told me that some boys made a better
girl than a boy. His hand was now rubbing my thigh as he
said I was one of these boys. I was blushing as he was
saying I was a cute sissy. I blushed more when I looked
over at him and seen his dick was out of his pants and
it was sticking up like a flagpole. It was huge. This
man was a pedo and I was in a driving car with nowhere
to escape. He told me I could touch it and before I
could say no he put my hand around his cock. It was like
a magnet and I could not take my hand away. He moaned
and repeated that some boys make better girls and told
me to rub up and down. I was silent as I done this. In a
way it was strange as it felt so warm and soft, yet it
was hard and huge. I do not know how he drove as he was
moaning and saying he always knew a boy that accepted to
wear girl clothes was a submissive toy. What did he mean
by this? Just as he came to our house, he squirted some
white stuff. I was gross as my hand was full of it. On
my way out of the car, he told me to lick it. I must not
really have think much as I tasted it. It did not taste
so good.
Later
Eva came home. She sat on my bed.
“I
know I have been away a lot lately.” She started
I
shrugged my shoulders
“You
do know that I love you” she continued.
“If
you did love me, you would not have so many secrets”
“I
can’t stay here. It is so crazy and mom and your dad are
always strange and it makes me sad. I do not feel they
love us anymore. I can’t be here.”
I
whined that I was left here and I did not keep any
secrets from her. She smiled and asked if I liked cocks,
would I tell her? I must have gone white as I wondered
if she knew I jerked off Mr. Ken. She must have
understood why I was silent as she gave me a hug and
said she was so happy I was her brother, and she would
help me. What would she help me with?
The
next few days did not go so well. A few days after we
had that talk, a huge truck came to the house and
started taking all our furniture and things out. My
stepmom was crying and dad was cursing the world. He
told Eva and I that the bank was taking the house and we
would live in town. I was shocked. Eva looked mad and
just left the house. My guess is that she was going to
the warehouse.
We now
lived in a slum part of the town. The apartment had 3
small rooms. Eva and I shared one and mom and dad shared
another one. The other room was a room for the kitchen
and sitting room. In the closet, we had a toilet and
bath. We now lived in poverty and it was not fun. It was
hard to hide when mom and dad were now drunk or high. We
could also hear the other neighbours that had as many
problems as we had. There was never food, except for the
food Mr. Ken gave us. I no longer had a bedroom, but a
stinky mattress on the floor. Being poor were not fun,
but have we not been poor all long?
It
didn’t seem to bother Eva, as she was always at that
warehouse. It is shame that a young girl had to work so
early in her life. I wondered what she done. Did she
work in some factory, sewing clothes every day? She
became more and quieter, except when she was with me. By
this stage I promised not to talk about her work. She
said when she was with me; she just wanted to be my
sister. She didn’t want to think of the adult world. The
times we had together were few. But they were times I
enjoyed.
I did
not think things could be worse, but they did. Stepmom
died of an overdose. The image of her being lowered in
the ground in a simple wooden box still haunts me. I was
the only one crying at the funeral. Dad did not seem to
understand that his wife was dead. I do not even think
he knew his own name. Eva did not even cry. This made me
cry more, as not only did I lose a step mom, but it
seemed like no one cared
A few
days later, Eva was sitting on my mattress. She told me
she could not cry at the funeral because she felt her
mom was dead long ago. She cried then and she would not
go through it again. She tried to change the subject and
ask if I liked cocks. I did not answer and she said only
girls worked where she did, but I can come. This should
have been great news but suddenly I was afraid. I did
not know why I was suddenly afraid. Was it because I did
not want to have the work an adult has? I still wanted
to be a child. I was afraid of failing. See what failure
did to my dad.
I
remember my dad before we moved to this country. I did
not know him anymore. He was just a shell of the man
that once loved and who cared about me more than
anything in the world. I considered a dads job to make
us safe and make sure we were warm and fed. Dad no
longer done that he made sure there were enough bottles
of alcohol in the small slum we lived in. I cried myself
at night.
Things
had to change. Eva should not have to work at some
boring warehouse and we needed a dad. I woke up early
the next day and emptied all the bottles down the sink.
Then I spent all morning cleaning the slum. I was dirty
and smelling and I was so tired at the end. However it
looked like humans could live in it now. My plan was to
tell dad that we were to move back to our own country,
where he could get a job. We would take Eva with us. Dad
came stumbling out in the room and looked for his
morning bottle. All he found was empty bottles. He was
raging mad and started hitting me around the room. He
used the broom stick and hit me over and over. He
stormed out of the house shouting that he hated me. It
hurt when he hit me again and again but the pain was a
numb feeling at the end. I could not sit up and could
not say anything. I heard dad say he hated me but could
not respond. Everything went black.
Dad
did not come back. It was now only Eva and me living
there, until the rent was due.
Mr.
Ken found me and lifted me to the mattress. Over the
next few weeks, Eva and him nursed me. I would open my
eyes and see Eva in tears promising me everything would
be fine. Then everything would go black again.
After
a week, I opened my eyes. I was no longer in pain but I
felt something strange in my ass. It was painful yet it
felt good. I slowly looked around. I was naked and Mr.
Ken had his finger in my ass. He was moving his finger
in and out. He seen I was awake and told me I had a sexy
body, especially my bum. I tried to whisper to stop but
at the same time I liked the feeling. It was like
someone was trying to make me feel good. Mr. Ken told me
that I was sexy and many men would like me. He asked me
if he could have sex with me. I became somewhat afraid
and told him no, I was not gay. He stopped fingering me
and told me he would pay me if I ever wanted to. He also
offered me a job at his business. I said I would think
about it.
Bruises
disappear very quickly and Eva was a great nurse. After
a few weeks I was sitting on my bed. She told me she
would dress me. I could have done it myself but I let
her have her way. She put a summer dress on me, saying
all my other clothes had to be washed. I did not
complain as girl clothes were now a part of my identity.
She then put my hair in braided pigtails. I really
looked like a girl and we could not stop laughing at
this fact. After we laughed, Eva got serious. She leaned
over me and kissed me on the cheek saying she had to go
to work. Then she kissed me on the mouth, saying that
she hoped I would not miss her too much and hopefully
one day would come to her. I was confused at what she
was saying, but also because she was kissing me in a
strange way her tongue was now exploring my mouth. I
never kissed anyone like this. It ended after 20 mins,
and Eva walked out the door.
A few
days went and Eva never came back. My life was misery
now and I missed her so much. I really did not go out,
but stared out of the window wondering if she was coming
home. After two weeks, there was no sign of her and I
knew I had to find her.
I
walked to the rich part of town where Mr. Ken lived and
knocked at his door. He smiled as he seen me in a summer
dress and pigtails. He called me princess and told me to
come in. I told him it was my birthday in two days’ time
and I would be 12. He smiled and asked what I wanted. I
broke down in tears and explained that Eva was missing
and I thought she was in the warehouse. I cuddled
against Mr. Ken as he explained that she was there. It
was his business and she is happy there. She now lived
at the warehouse all the time. I told Mr. Ken that I
wanted to see her. He frowned and said only people that
worked there could get in and they only employed girls.
I waved my dress before him and swung my pigtails. This
made him laugh and said maybe they could employ a girly
boy. He warned me that I may not like the job, and once
I said yes, I could not say no.
What
was my alternative? Some orphanage or living on the
streets alone? I
nodded my head and said I wanted to.
Next
day he took me to the warehouse. When we entered the
door, it looked like a lobby in a five star hotel.
However it looked so empty. We were told that there was
a group session.
We
went to a large room, and when the door opened, I got a
shock. I saw Eva and a few other children, but they were
naked and surrounded by naked men. Eva had cocks buried
in her mouth and pussy and she seemed to like it. I
wished I had my superman costume that would free her and
bring her to safety. I couldn’t as I felt a pair of
hands touch me all over. They were calling me a pretty
girl until they took off the dress and seen a tent in my
panties. Before I could ask where we were and what the
hell was happening, I was shoved to my knees and some
stranger put his cock in my mouth. It smelled and I was
gagging as it kept on hitting the back of my throat. It
was hard to breath and he was calling me faggot and a
cocksucker. I was getting used to it in my mouth and it
was not that bad, He rewarded me by shooting his stuff
in my mouth. I was told to swallow it.
Eva
was with a new man and looked like she was in a trance.
She just accepted dicks. I was also now sucking my
second cock and it was getting easier… and nicer. His
cock was not as big as the other one and I started
feeling his balls, which he seemed to like. He was quite
quick in squirting in me and I swallowed the most of it.
It was not that bad.
Mr.
Ken was now naked and sat down with his cock pointing
straight up. He lifted me on his dick as it slowly went
in my bum. It was bigger than his finger and hurt at the
start. I did not have time to complain as a third dick
was now in my mouth. I had a cock in both ends and two
men asked me to hold their dicks. It was hard to
concentrate as I felt dicks in me and seen them all
around me. I heard Mr. Ken laughing saying my mind was
about to break. The pain was gone and suddenly the room
swam around me and my mind was totally blank. I felt
sperm in me and on me. I no longer thought that my life
was sad and shitty. All I wanted was to please men. All
I wanted was to be their toy. All I wanted was cocks.
For
the next two hours, I was fucked and I sucked and
covered in sperm. It was heaven.
After
the session I was carried to a room. I would share a
room with Eva. She washed herself and then washed me.
She told me my mind would be blank for a while. It
happened to her. They broke her old mind and molded it
to a mind as a child whore. I wanted to say so much to
her, but he warned me to get washed as being the only
boy, I would be very popular.
I got
the butterfly tattoo on my birthday and spent most of my
days pleasing men and waiting for the next man with Eva,
if she was not busy.
Do you
think I was happy now? I will let you answer that,
giggles.