Back to Appendix A

Appendix B - Postscript - Thoughts from the author concerning the fates of Ruthie Burns and Mike Sinclair

I am writing these words several years after completing "The Outsider" and after having had the opportunity to reflect on the novel's message and direction.

Over the winter and spring of 2011, several readers wrote me expressing opinions that the current version of the novel's ending was unsatisfactory because I did not state what happened to Mike Sinclair and Ruthie Burns after they left the beach. What type of lives did they return to? What happened to their studies and their jobs? More importantly, how did their relationship develop now that they were alone and their families were out of their lives?

When I finished the novel, I wasn't really sure myself what exactly happened to Mike and Ruthie after they left the beach, so the ending remained what it was, Mike and Ruthie on the beach, with their futures very much in doubt.

After I finished the project and going on to work on other projects, I had time to think about my characters and their fates. Eventually I used Poser to create some picture series of events that post-dated the ending of the novel as I left it in 2011. As a result, over time, several important events taking place over next couple of years the lives of Ruthie Burns and Mike Sinclair took form in my imagination.

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About an hour after the sunset they drove back to Mike's apartment in silence. They spent the rest of the evening sitting together quietly. The next day they went for a hike. The following Monday they went back to class and returned to their jobs. As always, Mike emptied Sam's plastic bucket of quarters into his backpack and stashed his daily loot in the trunk of his car.

Then what?

Ruthie's destiny would remain tied to that of Mike. No matter what he did or where he went, she followed him. Perhaps at times she regretted having made the commitment to tie her existence to his, but for her that promise had the power of a religious oath and could never be broken. Her purpose was to stay with her partner as long as he needed her, regardless of what path his life took or how she felt about it. Periodically she hoped for a sign that he was getting tired of her, which would grant her the chance to escape into the Pacific Ocean and away from this "sucky life". However, the sign never came. Until the end of his time in the Realm of the Living, Mike always loved Ruthie. As long as he loved her, she could not leave him.

So, given that promise she had made to herself, it was up to Ruthie to come to terms with her situation. In doing so, she managed to find some things that gave her personal satisfaction. The two most important changes she experienced over the next year were to establish an artistic modeling career and to have an affair.

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Ruthie's modeling career

By the time she entered her sophomore year as a student in Davenport State University, Ruthie had quit her job at the coffee shop to concentrate on another she found much more to her liking; artistic modeling.

Mike knew about his girlfriend's modeling and fully supported her. He was fascinated with her obsession with nudity and, from the time they first started hanging out together, had found it a huge turn-on. It was the part of her that made him overlook a lot of other quirks and flaws in her personality.

Ruthie became the most popular model among the university's art instructors and independent artists around the Davenport area because she was so easy to work with. Unlike a lot of the art department's previous models, she was punctual, dependable, and willing to do whatever she was told. Most important, she was being paid to do something she truly enjoyed.

Ruthie Burns had absolutely no inhibitions about her body whatsoever: she had no problem spending an entire day in the nude waiting for photographers or artists to set up art supplies or adjust their cameras. She normally stripped as soon as she showed up for work, and didn't bother to get dressed until she was dismissed for the day. Even when the students had a practice session outdoors, the class model preferred to go outside in the nude and walk that way to wherever the class was going to be held. She got an erotic thrill from being the only naked person in a large group of classmates, especially if the group was outside.

The art instructor who first hired her the previous year used Ruthie for all of his classes, both painting and photography. The model's exhibitionism went beyond even his comfort level, but the professor indulged her whims because she was so valuable to the department.

She had become a total exhibitionist, so she never worried about who was watching while she was modeling or whether images of her would be posted on the Internet.

In fact, the more daring the project and the more it exposed her, the more enthusiastic she was about participating in it. As she put it: "I'm good for anything, just as long as I don't get arrested."

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The art department at Davenport State University received a large endowment from an alumni who had started a successful tech company in San Francisco. The department had the opportunity to expand, but one challenge was to increase student enrollment to match the enlarged program. The university decided to use several scholarship contests as a way to publicize the opportunities available to aspiring artists and photographers at DSU.

There were several photography contests, one of which was intended to to force the participants to focus on technique by severly limiting the subject matter.

Attention photographers!
Davenport State University

presents:
the 100 x 100 x 10 challenge

- 100 photographers
- 100 photos
- 10 locations
- 1 model

Do you have what it takes?

Registration: July 20th through July 28th.
Contest session dates - August 1st through August 14th
Judging - August 16th - August 19th
Prizes awarded - August 21st

for more information: call: 508-555-8322 or
email: photoart.DSU@megamail.com

The competition was called the 100x100x10 challenge. 100 photographers would take and submit 100 pictures of a single figure model in 10 different settings. Each location would have a winner and two runner-ups, and the contest winners would be whoever had the highest over-all scores for all 10 places. The first prize was an all-expenses-paid art scholarship, the second prize was four-year's free tuition, and the third prize was one-year of free tuition.

High-resolution copies of all of the 10,000 submitted photos would be posted on the Internet, each with a description of the camera, lens, and lighting used to create the image. For photographers who were using old-fashion film, information about the film and the development process would be included.

The contest needed a model who had no inhibitions about spending a couple of weeks in the nude in front of 100 photographers and other spectators. She also had to be comfortable with having 10,000 high-resolution photos of her in different environments and every pose imaginable posted on-line.

Fortunately for the art department, there was a model on their pay-roll who was perfect for the assignment.

When she told Mike that she would be featured in the very publicized "100 x 100 x 10" photo challenge, he did have some doubts, but he kept them to himself. There was no way he'd get her to reconsider something that was the fulfillment of a major fantasy. She wasn't thinking about the consequences of having so many pictures of her posted on-line. Nor was she thinking about a pattern that he had observed with her fantasies, that when she fulfilled a fantasy, it was replaced by another fantasy that was even more extreme.

And this fantasy was pretty extreme. It wasn't just that she was going to be nude in public for two weeks. She was going to be exposing herself in every way imaginable to 100 photographers, to the artistic community in central California, and to the entire world. There would be no going back: the nude photoshoot and its aftermath would become an important part of her identity.

Mike did not know how to express his concerns without her becoming defensive and obstinate. So, he didn't try. She'd do the photoshoot and that would be the end of it.

As they watched the sun set from their balcony, Ruthie did say something that quieted her boyfriend's fears:

"I... I don't know what I'd do without you, Mike. I really don't. I... I know I'm kinda a bit... you know... crazy... and you put up with all my shit. I do... I mean... I guess I... I do love you for it."

It didn't sound like much, but Mike knew that it was. Ruthie had extreme difficulty expressing any feelings of affection. Very rarely could she bring herself to use the word "love".

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The 100 photography contestants, along with their friends, partners, and assistants, as well as members of the local media, students, and other people who were interested in the university's challenge, filled the DSU ballroom on the morning the contest began.

The art professor who first hired Ruthie was the DSU faculty member who took the microphone and announced the contest. Ruthie stood next to her boss while he introduced her as the project's model and explained the goal of the competition, which was judge photographers' technical skills by forcing them to all take pictures of the same subject. Ruthie wore nothing on stage but a chemise that was open on the sides and a pair of cheap tennis shoes. Soon enough, she wouldn't be wearing even that.

The professor gave a long-winded speech about art philosophy and how that affected the way artists could think about photography. Ruthie stood quietly, patiently waiting for him to finish with his intellectual pontificating. She was nervous, not from fear, but from erotic anticipation. She couldn't wait to take off her clothes in front of all those spectators.

For the next two weeks, Ruthie and the contest entourage traveled around central California so the participants could photograph their subject in a variety of settings, both natural and urban. No one else could be in any of the pictures, nor could the model have anything covering any part of her body or be holding anything in her hands. In natural areas she wore shoes until the group arrived to the location where the photo session would take place, but she always took off her foot gear before anyone took a picture.

The first three days of the photo-shoot were in outdoor settings, but the final two days of the first week and the first three days of the second week were mostly going to be pictures taken indoors. The professor running the project commented that many of the indoor photos would be taken close-up. The professor leading the contest project had told Ruthie that detail to help her mentally prepare for the next several days, but also to hint that she might want to shave or at least trim her pubic hair. The model took the hint and decided to shave herself completely. When she thought about it, shaving excited her because she knew that she would be even more exposed to the cameras than she was already. Every square inch of her skin would be on full display.

Ruthie had never shaved her vulva, so she was totally nervous about having a sharp razor touch that part of her body. She turned to her boyfriend to help out. He had been shaving himself for several months, so he knew what to do. He told her to get on their massage table and to relax. Being completely relaxed was important, given where the razor was going to have to go.

When he finished shaving her, Mike told Ruthie to stand up so she could look at herself. He held her hands behind her back so she could get a better view, and also to make her feel more submissive. She did not resist. Ruthie could feel the exposure as the cool air blew directly on her stripped vulva. She felt very vulnerable, which, of course, was what she wanted.

Ruthie's sexuality only came alive when she was fulfilling a kinky fantasy. The anticipation of being so completely exposed in front of all those photographers totally excited her. A few minutes later, Mike and Ruthie had a couple of rounds of really satisfying sex. It was one of the rare times in their relationship that she actually enjoyed having him inside her.

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During the days the photography contestants were visiting a town or city, the entourage always stopped at one of the better local restaurants. The project sponsors pre-reserved the entire dining area, partly to make sure lunch didn't take too long, but also to allow the photographers to take pictures of their model while she was doing mundane things such as eating and talking without being distracted by onlookers in the street.

One irony was that Ruthie seemed to be able to converse much more easily in the nude with people she barely knew than with classmates and co-workers with whom she was more familiar (with Mike being the only real exception). She found out that she was more in her element as a figure model than she was anywhere else. Interestingly, many of the photographers were more nervous during their conversations than she was.

Ruthie totally loved her role as an artistic subject in the university contest. As the days passed, she realized that not only did she enjoy nude modeling, but she was very good at it. She felt much more at ease in the nude than she did when she was dressed.

She could tell that many of the photographers wanted to contract her for their projects as soon as the university photo-shoot was over. So, she realized that she had found her calling. Yes, she'd continue studying geology and get her degree, but she figured she'd concentrate on actually getting job in that field only after she had gotten older and her looks started to go. In the meantime, she'd do what she truly enjoyed doing and was really good at.

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Ruthie's career as a paid commercial model started on the second day of the photo contest. A local auto dealer invited the contestants to take pictures of their model in his showroom, figuring the publicity would help his business. The contest organizers knew that the photo-shoot at the auto dealership would be one of the more popular locations, because of the fascination the a lot of people in the US have with cars combined with women. That hunch turned out to be correct. During the weeks after the photo-shoot in the car lot were published, sales jumped.

The owner of the dealership hired Ruthie for a publicity job that started right after the DSU contest ended. She posed with cars in the dealership showroom, but also posed with vehicles on the beach. The props included a surfboard and bottles and glasses of wine. Ruthie smiled at the whole situation, because it was so fake. Ruthie didn't drink wine, she didn't know how to surf, and she didn't know how to drive. Her mother never owned a car, and in college she always relied on Mike to drive her around.

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Mike's income

Ruthie's life and how she viewed herself changed when she received her first paycheck from the car dealership. Her relationship with Mike also changed, partly because she now had a good source of income, and partly because of a change at his job that he had no control over, a change that would greatly reduce his income.

Over the summer and into the next year, the changes that Ruthie had noticed in Mike over the spring intensified after his father died. Although he rarely talked about it, she could tell that his hope for social justice and desire to understand what had happened to the US had changed into a visceral hatred of the entire political system and power structure. It was a quiet hatred, biding its time, waiting for the moment when circumstances would allow him to seek revenge. Specifically he envisioned storming corporate offices carrying a crow-bar and crushing the faces of anyone richer than himself. As Ruthie foresaw her boyfriend's future, Mike was destined to be part of the mob that will destroy the US as we currently know it.

But that was not what happened. In the end, Mike Sinclair was destined to live out a much quieter, although not necessarily happier, existence. As the semester following his father's death passed by, Mike's hatred was tempered by the coins he was stealing every day from the parking meters at DSU. The weeks and months passed and Mike continued raiding his employer's meters unabated. He had money, and to have money was to have a sense of empowerment. He hated the system, but he had found a way to beat it.

There was another consideration that calmed his anger, Ruthie. He felt the need to protect her, take care of her, and give her as good a life as possible. That meant he had to concentrate on collecting the money needed to fulfill that promise he had made to himself. He became more and more determined to pursue a career in parking management. After all, parking revenue was "money for nothing and your chicks for free." By his junior year he was taking business classes that he thought would help him buy or manage parking lots, and working on personal connections he would need to "break into" the business. Over the two years that followed his father's death, Mike also became a better thief and con-artist. He learned how to convert money from cash and launder it, and to store his earnings out of sight of both the IRS and his girlfriend.

There was an interruption to his illicit stream of income when Davenport State University switched from coin-fed meters to high-tech meters that relied on a cashless electronic payment system. It wasn't until that moment Ruthie realized what Mike had been doing and how he was able to provide them with a lifestyle that was far beyond what university students in central California could have enjoyed with normal minimum-wage salaries. It began when Ruthie noticed that her boyfriend had became extremely moody and worried, but wouldn't tell her why. And then, while casually looking at the campus newspaper, she came across an article announcing that the university parking department was getting rid of coin-fed meters.

Coin-fed meters...

It wasn't until that moment that Ruthie connected the all details about her boy-friend's life and finances. She knew that he paid for almost everything in cash, often with rolls of quarters. That meant rolls of quarters for everything: food, restaurant meals, gas, car repairs, books, videos, small appliances, clothing - wherever he could, he spent quarters. Ruthie now realized where he was getting them from. He was stealing them from work.

All along, Ruthie had known, deep down, that Mike was not telling her the truth about where he was getting all that money from. However, she had decided not to pursue the issue when, early in their relationship, he paid a dentist $ 600 in cash to fill cavities in two of her teeth. Without that money, it was very possible that Ruthie would have lost those teeth, because she did not have dental insurance. Since then, he had used his resources to give both both her and himself a decent life. So, mentally she compartmentalized that portion of their relationship and did not let if affect anything else that went on between them. There were other reasons she had decided not to say anything. She had seen how poverty destroyed the lives of both her mother and Mike's father. And seeing that, the lesson she took away was that morality was relative. Rich people can afford to have high moral standards. Poor people cannot. So, whatever Mike was doing, she was not in a position to judge him.

However, the situation had changed. Mike was about to lose his illicit source of income and was justifiably very upset. He felt he couldn't share his problem with Ruthie. And she knew that he had to share it with her. She also needed to let him know that she had the solution, and that if he wanted to stay with her, he would have to accept it. And, the only way to get him to share his problem was to confront him.

Ruthie's personality did not allow her to be tactful in any situation. She knew that about herself, so she didn't try. She simply walked up to her boyfriend and held up the article.

"I... uh... Mike... I... kinda wanna know... what you... uh... what you think about this... "

Mike's face went pale and he started to sweat: "Ruthie... Please... It's not what you think... "

"It's not what I think? Then what the fuck is it? What is it, Mike, if it isn't this? 'Cause this is what's stressing you out, isn't it? The quarters?"

For a moment Mike stared at the floor. There was no hiding it. He was caught.

"Yeah. It's what's stressing me out."

When Ruthie found out how much Mike was spending, she was dismayed. They were not living exorbitantly: they were just spending what was necessary to lead comfortable lives, but living in central California was horrifically expensive.

The solution as she saw it was simple. As soon as Mike's stolen meter money dried up, she'd take over paying the rent with her modeling money and he could pay the rest of the bills with his legitimate salary. She pointed out that he had been paying the rent for nearly a year, so it was only fair that she would take her turn. With no other options, he reluctantly agreed.

"There's another thing about this. Now that I know what you're doing, I don't like it. Sooner or later you're gonna get caught, and you're gonna get fucked. It... "

"No, I wouldn't have gotten caught. I know how... "

"Mike, you would've gotten caught. You're stealing a shitload of money from those people. You seriously think you could've kept that up, month after month, and no would've one noticed?"

"I... "

"Think about it. You're being forced to quit while you're ahead. You're lucky. You're quitting while you're ahead. That doesn't happen very often."

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Ruthie's affair with Marla

While Mike was trying to figure out how to deal with the sudden reduction of his income, there was another development in Ruthie's life that helped her overcome her traumatic childhood and the self-hatred she had as a result of struggling with non-verbal communication disorder. She was able to fulfill a lot of her old teenaged fantasies by having an affair.

The affair turned out to be one of the luckiest things to ever happen to Ruthie. Ironically, cheating on Mike also greatly improved her relationship with him. The problem that Ruthie had with Mike is that she deeply loved him as a person and as her partner, but she was not sexually attracted to him. He was a loving and dependable companion who filled her emotional needs, so she never considered leaving him. But the disconnect between her need for companionship and her sexual fantasies was a major frustration throughout her freshman and sophomore years in college. Then, after she had been with Mike for nearly two years, Ruthie met Marla.

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Ruthie was not the sort who enjoyed going out too much, and certainly not alone. However, when her Mike needed to go across the country to attend a week-long conference of lower-level parking department managers, she was in a rare adventurous mood and she decided to take advantage of his absence to check out a new club which had opened up a few blocks from where they were living. She couldn't explain, even to herself, why she wanted to go to a club alone. She definitely was not a club-type person. She was no good at making small-talk, which meant that she had a hard time making a good first impression. She was not interested in meeting any men. She already had one man, and one man was more than enough for her. She really wasn't sure what she wanted.

Ruthie noticed an attractive, tall, middle-aged woman when as soon as she entered the club. The woman was alone, drinking and sending texts on her cell phone. Ruthie kept glancing over at her. Because of the college student's sexual fantasies, the woman was the sort who most attracted her. She looked in her late '40s and was dressed in a no-nonsense business outfit. She carried herself with the air of a person you would not want to cross. Ruthie found her intimidating, which was precisely why she found her so sexy. However, as always, she was too shy to approach her.

The professional noticed Ruthie continuously glancing at her. The college girl couldn't have been any older than 20. She was totally cute. It was also obvious she was shy, nervous, and out of her element in the club. The professional felt a strange desire to comfort and protect the girl, but she realized she would have to make the first move. The whole thing seemed absurd, because she was more than twice the girl's age and even had a 20-year-old daughter in college.

Hell, my daughter and this girl probably sit together in class. This is totally insane. But... oh well, nothing ventured, nothing gained...

The professional walked up to Ruthie and gently touched her shoulder. "Hi there."

Ruthie blushed. "Uh... hi, ma'am... "

"I was just about to get myself a drink, and was wondering if you'd like one. My treat."

"I uh... yeah... sure ma'am... I'd... uhh... I'd like that... "

"Come along then, you can tell the bartender what you want."

Ruthie had to order a non-alcoholic drink because she was not yet 21. That detail embarrassed her, but her companion found it cute. The professional touched her arm as she handed her the drink. It was obvious, even to someone as oblivious to non-verbal cues as Ruthie, that the woman was coming on to her.

"Ha! How silly of me! We haven't even introduced ourselves! My name's Marla. And you are?"

"I... uh... Ruthie, ma'am. My name's Ruthie Burns."

Marla quickly assessed the situation. She was encouraged that Ruthie had seen her up close, realized she was not young at all, but still did not seem to be put-off by her age. Judging by the girl's nervous manner of talking and awkward behavior, Marla correctly guessed that Ruthie had a non-verbal communication disorder, which would affect her ability to make small-talk. She also correctly guessed that Ruthie was submissive and attracted to authority figures, especially women. Assuming that was true, Ruthie would actually be more attracted to older people, especially if they had a strict demeanor in their personalities. If Marla took charge of the relationship from the beginning, Ruthie would follow her anywhere. She put her hands on the collage student's shoulders. Ruthie trembled and her heart beat very hard, but she did nothing to discourage Marla's advances.

"Do you like this song? It's one of my favorites from when I was in high school, back in the ancient times... "

"Yes, ma'am. It's kinda nice."

"Good. Then let's dance."

They danced for a couple of slow songs. Ruthie was content to stay quiet, because she couldn't think of what she should say. Marla made a few comments about the club, mostly to avoid too much awkward silence. Then Ruthie felt Marla's hands move lower, slowly, until they were on her bottom. Marla was careful to monitor Ruthie's reaction to every advance, to make sure she wasn't pushing the girl too hard. Ruthie was nervous, but full of anticipation. The older woman's hands explored her bottom, as though trying to verify something.

"Wow, you are a naughty little thing, aren't you?"

"I... I dunno ma'am, I 'spose."

"Yeah, sweetie, you are. Don't even try bullshitting me." Marla patted her bottom over her skirt. "And, look at this, you aren't even wearing any panties."

"No, ma'am."

Marla gently turned Ruthie so that her back was facing the wall and out of sight of other club patrons. The erotic tension between the two women quickly escalated. Marla caressed Ruthie's bottom throughout their third dance. Then she slid her hands under the waistband of Ruthie's skirt. The skirt was loose-fitting, so she had no problem moving her hands underneath. It was dark in their section of the room and Ruthie's backside was facing the corner. Marla pushed Ruthie's skirt halfway down her hips and put her hands on the upper part of her now uncovered bottom. Suddenly Ruthie was extremely aroused. She was dancing in a public location, with her bottom partly exposed and the hands of a woman she had just met exploring her bare skin. Ruthie hugged Marla and made no effort to pull her skirt back up. She was completely submitting to a woman she had just met. There was an unspoken agreement that Marla would be the one to pull the skirt back up, not Ruthie. After another song, Marla lowered Ruthie's skirt further, exposing her entire bottom. It was thrilling to be like that, with her bottom exposed in a crowded room and no one realizing it, and her companion's firm hands touching her bare skin. Ruthie trembled with anticipation, especially when Marla patted her bare bottom, hinting that a spanking was in the works.

"Shameless girl. And to think, that cute naughty butt of yours, with nothing covering it."

Marla patted Ruthie's exposed bottom several more times. They were not really pats, but more a series of a light slaps. Ruthie was wet with excitement. There was no doubt, none whatsoever, where Marla was going with her advances.

Marla pushed forward. She so badly wanted the girl she was dancing with that her usual caution vanished. She kissed Ruthie. Ruthie was so shocked and so excited that she didn't think about trying to pull her skirt up. The cool air conditioning felt good on her bare backside. Marla was in charge, so it was she who would decide when to pull up Ruthie's skirt. And, maybe she wouldn't want to pull it up at all, which would be fine with Ruthie. She was enjoying the feeling of total vulnerability.

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Ruthie accepted Marla's invitation to spend the night at her house. She so excited she couldn't think straight. She had fantasized about this so much, and now finally, it was going to happen.

Ruthie had walked to the club, so she didn't have to worry about leaving a vehicle behind. However, she was taking a risk because Marla's house was five miles outside of town. If anything went wrong, she would have to walk several hours in the middle of the night just to get to the closest bus stop.

Marla stripped Ruthie within seconds of getting through the door, before taking off her own clothes. She knew what was going on with the young woman, but still, she was flattered and excited that a 19-year-old college student found her desirable.

Marla grabbed a dining room chair, sat down, and had Ruthie sit on her lap. She sweet-talked the student, continuing to tease her about being such a naughty girl. She caressed and patted her bottom to let her know that, as a naughty girl, she was likely to get a spanking later on. Through watching her guest's reactions to her flirting, Marla confirmed that Ruthie was a total submissive.

Marla took charge of her guest. Using a gentle, but firm voice, she told her naughty girl it was time to go over her lap. Ruthie was trembling, but she immediately obeyed. Marla touched the student between her legs. Already she was very wet. She continued rubbing and patting her bottom in anticipation of her upcoming punishment.

"Sweetie, you are such a bad girl. I really don't know what I'm gonna do with you."

Marla started spanking. Ruthie did not resist. She obediently held her hands in front and was fully cooperative. She made no effort to cover her bottom, nor did she clench the muscles in her backside. It was obvious that she was where she wanted to be, having an experience that she was thoroughly enjoying.

Marla was the mistress that Ruthie needed. She gave the girl a nice long spanking, but she avoided slapping her too hard. She wanted Ruthie to enjoy her experience, so she did not try to over-do it by inflicting too much pain. Finally she stopped, mostly because her arm was getting tired. She massaged Ruthie's warm bottom. When she touched her companion between her legs, Ruthie shuddered and gasped from pleasure.

Marla told her lover to stand up and embraced her. When she touched Ruthie's vulva, it was obvious the girl was more aroused than she had ever been in her life. The spanking had stimulated her and now Marla's fingers were working magic between her legs. She wanted to surrender herself, totally and completely.

After Ruthie received her spanking, Marla did something that totally shocked her. Without saying anything, the older woman picked her up, lifted her over her shoulder, and carried her to the bedroom. She lay the younger woman on the bed, got on top, pinned her wrists to the mattress, and kissed her. Ruthie never would have guessed that a woman in her late '40s was strong enough to pick her up. Later Marla would laughingly tell her: "Sweetie, are you kidding? I've spent years lugging around a pair of twins. And all their stuff. So yes, I can do some heavy lifting."

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Ruthie spent the next several days re-living her night with Marla. She was obsessed with her new lover and couldn't stop thinking about her. She was elated when she got a text asking if she was free the following Friday afternoon. Yes! Most definitely, yes! She was surprised, because she figured that a married woman with three kids would have no free time.

Marla made the time. Her younger daughters wanted to go to a friend's house for a sleep-over and she said: why, yes, of course. The twins were surprised. Well, that was easy. First time Mom didn't ask a bunch of questions, only then to say no, you can't go. Same with her husband. He was off on one of his business trips and for once his wife wasn't badgering him with a bunch of text messages and suspicious questions.

When Marla picked her up, she had a gift for Ruthie, a pair of expensive, thick bracelets. They felt strange on the student's wrists, because normally she never wore any jewelry. When Ruthie entered Marla's house and got her clothes off, the bracelets made her feel much more vulnerable. She felt incredibly sexy wearing them and nothing else.

"You look so cute in those, Sweetie. From now on, whenever you're over here, that's gonna be your outfit."

Marla had other surprises for Ruthie. She had bought a fetish harness and a leather paddle. As soon as the student saw them, she was totally aroused and gasped with anticipation.

Marla told Ruthie to put her hands on the back of a living room chair and to spread her legs and arch her back. Then she felt Marla's fingers exploring her vulva and bottom.

"Would you look at this, my naughty girl! You're already wet! Shame on you!"

The spankings that Marla gave Ruthie with the leather paddle were much more sensuous than painful. Between swats, Marla massaged Ruthie's shoulders, fondled her breasts, and teased her vulva. The combination of such intense sensations drove the student wild with pleasure. Ruthie loved the erotic discipline sessions with her lover and never wanted them to end.

Marla enjoyed the sessions as much as Ruthie. She delighted in looking at her attractive lover and touching her body. Watching the girl's bottom turn red and her skin glistening with erotic sweat brought as much pleasure to Marla as it did to Ruthie. It was very pleasing to watch the student react and so totally surrender herself.

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The raw passion between Marla and Ruthie was the most intense emotional experience of either of their lives. There was no doubt that, had they been able to see each other on a daily basis, had they had the freedom to spend as much time together as they wanted, they would not have been able to sustain that level of emotion. However, they were lucky if they could get together once a week, so they never had the opportunity to settle into a routine. Their life circumstances, and the fact they needed to spend most of their time catering to the needs of other people, made them idealize each other.

Marla had indulged in a couple of previous trysts with other women, but they had been with women more like herself, in both age and in life circumstances. Ruthie was different, and for that reason, oddly enough, it was easier for Marla to figure out what she needed, even more so than Ruthie herself.

For example, Marla had been very careful when choosing the paddle she'd use on her young lover. It was leather, not wood, and designed to inflict the maximum amount of sting with the minimal amount of bruising. It was just the right balance for Ruthie, given that her fantasies often exceeded the level of physical sensation that would really arouse her. Somehow Marla figured that out.

There was a more practical reason to avoid bruising Ruthie: she had a boyfriend and the last thing anyone needed was for him to see her with a bruised butt and wonder what happened. Also, Ruthie's nude modeling was another reason Marla knew that she had to be careful to avoid leaving any marks that lasted for more than a couple of hours.

The same was true for Ruthie's bracelets. They were thick and heavy, felt lot like cuffs, but they weren't. It was easy enough for Ruthie to fantasize they were cuffs. However, if she wore them in public, they were obviously just bracelets and wouldn't draw attention. Maybe at the heat of the moment Ruthie wasn't worried about stuff like that. However Marla had led a secret life for years and was used to hiding what she wanted to from her family. She would have to teach that skill to Ruthie.

Marla never had any desire to put Ruthie in restraints. Instead, she dominated her by carrying her from the living room to the bedroom, grabbing her wrists, and pinning her down. Ruthie was strong enough that perhaps she could have resisted had she wanted to, but she never had any desire to do so. She loved it when her partner took control.

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Ruthie was starting to mature, and so she was able to accept the limits of her new lover. She knew not to push Marla. The woman had made it very clear from the beginning that she could never have a full-time relationship. Marla cared for Ruthie and would do everything she could to make time for her. However, she had an extremely busy schedule and a family life she was unwilling to give up. As long as Ruthie could understand that limitation, she would give her young lover as much of herself as she could. Ruthie knew that. Marla loved her in her own way, and the best way Ruthie could return that love was to respect Marla's circumstances and accept her for what she was.

Ruthie's lover taught her another important lesson, that it was unrealistic to expect a single person to satisfy all of her emotional needs. As Marla put it:

"The only reason I'm not insane, drunk, or dead is because I've learned to compartmentalize my life. That's important, Sweetie, you've got to compartmentalize. It's unfair to expect one person to give you everything. That might work OK in the movies and romance songs, but you can't expect it in real life. That is simply impossible. Your boyfriend can't do it, and I sure as hell can't do it. But, what we can do is satisfy different needs."

Marla had an interesting perspective on her affair with Ruthie: "We're not really cheating on my husband or your boyfriend. Our time together has nothing to do with them. This is totally separate. This is ours, no one else's. So there's no reason to feel guilty. Nor is there any reason for them to know, either. Always remember, compartmentalize."

Mike would remain the most important person in Ruthie's life. She completely depended on him emotionally. He was Ruthie's best friend, her protector, her family, as well as her boyfriend. However, he was not able to satisfy her sexual needs. For that, she had to go elsewhere. Now that she accepted that reality and better understood herself, she no longer resented him or the fact she had to "go along" with having sex with him to maintain the other parts of their relationship.

Ruthie now understood what she needed. She was involved in not one, but two long-term relationships. Over time she would love Marla as much as she loved Mike, but for totally different reasons.

Mike never found out about Marla. Nor did he ever really figure out his girlfriend. He just saw what he wanted to see. Now that Marla was in her life, Mike's cluelessness about her sexuality was fine with Ruthie.

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