A Search for a Pun

by Arty

Things were not going well, his Story Fest story though plotted and coming along reasonably well, was beginning to seem clichéd to him. Unfortunately it was another angst-ridden piece and his muse was getting pissed with him.

"I thought I ordered humour with a side-order of laughter? Where did all these tears come from?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know where it comes from…"

"You're not seeing another Muse on the side are you?"

"No I…"

"If you are I might have to see about removing these." She gave my balls a little squeeze and resumed licking my cock. I did so love these Author/Muse meetings, but it always put me in a vulnerable position, especially if I'd done something to irritate her, which was more often than I'd have liked.

"Hmmm, as if I would. Chocolate would never taste the same."

"And don't you forget it." More sucking from her and panting from me and then she stopped and stood up leaving my cock glistening with her saliva. "Now that I have your undivided attention, I will reiterate the requirements: fun, laughter and sex, lots of sex."

"Yes, dear."

"Good" She kissed me and for a while things were quiet with the silence broken only by the increasing noise from her fluttering wings. Eventually oxygen starvation caused us to part.

"Wow!" we both exclaimed as we fell back on the increasingly convenient and unlikely bed that was the feature of our trysts. Turnabout was only fair and I slid myself down the bed and stuck my head in one of my favourite places - between her legs and set about returning the favour. I seemed to have been successful, if the screams and moans were anything to go by.

"Of course this isn't getting the piece written."

"What piece?"

"The one that was 'One Night Stands', 'Tales of the FK Lounge', 'Just For Arty', and 'The Program', all mixed together. You dared me to write one, remember?"

"Oh that. If it's giving you problems, don't worry about it."

"I'm not, I just thought I try and think of a pun to get me started."

"What sort of pun?"

"I don't know one with a Muse in it, probably."

"Just a minute."

Friday concentrated for a moment and suddenly there were two of them in the room, each of them stared hungrily at his cock. I looked in mock horror, two Fridays! Was the world ready for this? I was jerked from my reverie by the simultaneous thump of two fists hitting each of my arms.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You forget we can read your mind." The two of them spoke together and the effect was startling.

"Oh" The thought of the two of them working on me had possibilities…

"Think of boring things for a moment will you? I want to talk to Friday and I can do without the distraction of your erotic fantasies."

"Exactly. Now where were we?"

"He wants a pun."

"A clever one, no doubt."

"I don't know why, no one will believe that he came up with a clever pun on his own."

"Oi! Do you mind? Who came with 'Knights in White Satin'?"

"Exactly! Now belt up and let us think."

Suddenly the alternate Friday frowned for a while and then the room behind her started to fill with smaller versions of Friday.

"What the hell is that?"

"Haven't you ever heard of Quantmuse computers?"

"Not exactly, what's going to happen."

"Well Friday over there will create as many version of Friday as necessary until the problem is solved. Meanwhile you can get back to the important business of satisfying your Muse."

"Yes, dear." Sometimes there are times to argue, but when there are a several hundred versions of your muse in the same room as you, isn't one of them.

"I'm glad you know what's good for you."

Things had cooled down a little so I started in where I had left off. I.e. driving her wild with my tongue. I think some of her passion leaked over to where Friday2 was orchestrating the quantmuse computer as I could hear the sound of several thousand tiny muses each of whom seemed to be having a good time. After a while Friday grabbed my ears. And spoke between pants.

"You, in, me, now."

Always do as a naked and panting muse tells you, is one of my many mottos - perhaps I should make a list? And so I did. I scooted upwards and entered her in a single, gentle thrust. This was always the best part for me, the first entry, so welcoming, so warm, so good, so…

"Stop soliloquising and start doing some work will ya!"

"Bloody, philistine Yank." I muttered and kissed her to stop the inevitable follow-up. At the same time I thrust strongly and she forgot about insult to her cultural heritage.

[Yeah right! Culture? Big Macs and George W. Bush]

[Oh shut up, it's just getting interesting.]

[Of course it is. Have you thought of that pun yet?]

[Not yet. Though there are only four or five million of me working on it.]

[Four or five MILLION?]

[Yes, don't shout. It's distracting.]

[I'll tell you what's distracting. Distracting is the thought of four or five million Fridays unleashed on the world.]

[Six million.]

[SIX… what's that acronym? Oh yes E.L.E Extinction Level Event.]

[Seven million.]

[Where do you put them all anyway?]

[They're not all that big, and we do have all these fictional universes to play in. Like fairytales, Goldilocks and the Three Bears that sort of thing.]

[Won't Goldilocks get a bit concerned when several million copies of you suddenly invade her private space? (And did you know that 'Goldilocks' is in the Micro$haft dictionary? I mean how often does someone type 'Goldilocks' for crying out loud?)]

[I don't think so, anyway I have it on good authority that Goldilocks is a bit of a goer and wouldn't be averse to some hot, girl-on-girl action.]

[I thought she was into fur?]

[Well we do have that in common at least, I'm sure I can parlay that into mutual attraction. Anyway enough of this I need some more sex and this isn't it]

I brought my arms one at a time to behind her knees and lifted each leg so that my penetration was at maximum. [A guy has to make the most of his equipment you know.] Friday groaned at the increased depth that this position afforded. Sweat was gathering between her breasts, I leant forward and licked it off her; it was divine and, like everything else about her, tasted faintly of chocolate. With a sigh I moved my head and latched onto a nipple and bit down gently. The extra stimulation caused her to tip over into another climax. I continued to thrust gently as she recovered and then she husked into my ear.

"Your turn. Cum for me, cum in your Muse."

I could never resist her when she spoke like that, nor when she concentrated on massaging my cock with her pussy. My thrusting increased in speed and then lost its regular cadence as I neared by climax. I could her whispering to me.

"Cum, cum, cum…"

And I did, yelling my release and finally collapsing onto her.

[Sorry didn't mean to squash you.]

[Uhhh, that's OK, sorry I got a bit distracted there; Goldilocks is definitely good at pussy eating.]

[I thought you were working on my pun.]

[I got a bit sidetracked.]

[Ah bit?]

[You try keeping track of the activities of eight million muses.]

[You've released eight million horny muses onto an unsuspecting multiverse?]

[Looks like it.]

[Did they come up with a pun?]

[Nope.]

[Ah hell,I think I'll have to go with my first thought.]

[What's that?]

[A muse meant accolade]

[Groan.]

[Now all I have to do is think of a story.]

-Fin-