Cotton wool clouds dotted an impossibly blue sky. Life couldn't be better. I lay back against what I had come to think of as 'our tree'. It was where I had seen her for the first time. I smiled as I let myself remember the joy of our first meeting. Even though we had only been eleven and twelve it had been love at first sight for me. Since then we'd been pretty much inseparable for almost nine years, through school and college. The tree had been witness to all of the important events in our relationship: first kiss, first caress, first... well, you get my drift. Now it seemed that it would be the scene of our betrothal, first and last; I fingered the little box in my pocket. For all our intimacy I hadn't thought of Beth as the marrying kind, but I'd changed my mind when I'd found her diary, here, under this very tree.

At first I'd resisted the temptation to read it, finally, though, I succumbed and I leafed through the pages trying to skim them and somehow absorb the meaning without actually reading the words. I became enthralled though, as she described the deep connexion that she felt with me; how she couldn't live without me; how much she loved me, and how long she had waited for a love like ours. I'd been astonished; the fact that I loved her had never been a secret, but I'd thought that I knew that she had never felt the same way about me. I lived in hope of course, but I'd pretty much given up on the idea that she would ever love me as more than an intimate friend. Now, however, it seemed that she'd finally made the leap from friendship to love.

When I'd confessed to her that I'd read her diary, she just laughed and told me it didn't matter; that she told me pretty much everything anyway. I'd said that she'd never told me that she loved me. She'd looked at me strangely and asked me why she should tell me that. I'd said that I'd read it in her diary. Her confusion was obvious and we parted; I promised to return her diary and we'd arranged to meet by the tree. She told me that she had something to tell me and the tree would be the best place to do it.

I lay back and watched the clouds. While I waited for Beth I opened her diary and started to read again about her newfound love. Through my tears the reason for her confusion became clear and I relinquished the hopes that I had for this meeting. I knew what she wanted to tell me, and I steeled myself to put her happiness before my own; to wish her only joy and sweetness as she prepared to marry her first love and not me.

I was her friend; I could do nothing less. I wiped my tears away and turned towards the sound of approaching laughter.

-Fin-