A Life of Service

A Life of Service

© Copyright 2004, 2006 by silli_artie@hotmail.com

This work may not be reposted or redistributed without the prior express written permission of the author.

A work of fiction, meant for adults. Read something else if you are not an adult, or are offended by stories with sexual content. Then again, if all you’re looking for is in-out, in-out, in-out, you should probably read something else. I welcome constructive comments. Enjoy.

5 Data, and More Data

We got “more data.” Rose and Deev recruited two young lovelies from The Order’s on-Campus office, having them arrive at the crack of dawn to take standard samples from me.

The first few times were nice enough, but... When Rose quizzed me, I told her -- I really needed to be held afterwards.

So the procedure changed a bit; I’d sit on the edge of the bed so they could take the sample, and then we’d snuggle for a while. Much nicer.

Wednesday morning, Judy, the one with the freckles. Sitting on the edge of the bed, looking into her pretty eyes, her fingers touch my neck and slide up to my face; I sigh as I drop into trance. So pretty, her voice so far away, her touch so soft, so stimulating.

But this was different -- hunger in her voice and in her touch, my breath speeding up, so hungry for her, so intense, coming so strongly as she smothered me to a nipple, a hand at the back of my head, then holding me as we collapsed to the bed. I held her, my heart still racing.

Deev, Rose, and I were walking to breakfast later. As we walked along, I sighed.

“What?” asked Rose, an arm around my waist.

“That was intense,” I told her.

“What was?” Deev asked.

I shook my head. “The sample this morning, Judy.”

“Oh, you could tell the difference?” Rose asked.

I gave her a look of incredulity; Deev laughed.

Friday morning with the other one, it was the “old” way, gentle, smooth, snuggling so nicely afterwards. Monday morning with Judy, my heart was beating with anticipation, but it was the old way again, soothing and comforting, being held after.

But Wednesday and Friday, both of them, so turbulent, so intense!

I was trying to explain the difference to Rose and Deev Friday night after dinner, looking in Rose’s eyes, trying to put words into the intensity I’d felt...

When Deev took me, pulling me to a nipple, chocolate and cherries again, wiping me out.

Mid-morning Saturday, Rose did something, Rose and Deev both, surprising me downstairs, the two of us on cushions on the floor, Rose riding me with Deev “helping.”

Sunday afternoon we reviewed Deev’s study of my notebooks, breaking for dinner.

Walking back from the hall, I paused a few meters from the door.

“Alan, what’s the matter?” Rose asked, arm around my waist. Deev put an arm around my shoulders.

I shook my head. “I don’t know what’s going on! You, the others, have been so intense recently! What is it?”

Deev rubbed my back. “Oh, do you need comforting?” she whispered.

Don’t know what I did, but both Deev and Rose chuckled.

“Alan,” Rose answered after a bit, “We’re finishing up our research and getting ready to raise hell, on a number of fronts.”

I made a face. “If they’ll let you...”

“Helen is helping,” Deev said, holding both of us. “When we hit ‘em with the one study, I think even they’ll know they’re outmatched -- if they try and suppress it, it will only make things worse.”

I looked to them. “Thank you -- thank you both.”

Deev held me close, and Rose whispered hotly in my ear. “And we’ll take good care of you tonight, we promise.”

They did -- soft and comforting.

The next morning Judy wiped me out!

Wednesday and Friday morning, Rose and Deev took the samples, working together, taking me to a level of intensity that was amazing. They were also very soothing at night.

Saturday morning walking back from a late breakfast, Rose surprised me. “Like to hear some answers and some questions?”

“Yes! Of course!”

We settled into the study. I decided to take my tutor chair.

“Don’t want to sit with us?” Deev asked as she took off her heavy clothing.

I smiled. “I’ll start here...”

Deev pushed her lower lip out in a pout.

Rose came in from the loo, and laughed. “Saving your strength?”

I tried to look offended, but they laughed at me!

Rose sat down. She leaned back against Deev. “Oh, this is nice. Sure you wouldn’t rather sit with us?”

I thought about offering to take this discussion upstairs ... but that might be what they wanted... “I’m fine here for now. Answers?”

Deev reached around and caressed Rose’s breasts, but just for a moment.

Rose sat up and sighed, a big smile on her face. “Oh, how nice... Okay, the easy one. Standard samples -- different technique, different result, right?”

I nodded. “I figured that was part of it. What did we learn? Sure we got enough data?”

They snickered. “Oh, we’ll keep experimenting,” Deev suggested, licking her lips.

Rose nodded, sitting up straighter, trying to be serious. “We demonstrated clearly and definitively that slight modification of technique increases volume -- up to fifteen percent. And as important -- you enjoy it more! You’re more satisfied, and look forward to the next time!”

I nodded, smiling. “Yes, I do -- I remember when Judy went back to the old way; it was nice, but disappointing. They should like that -- fifteen percent for a little change in technique.”

She nodded.

I’d learned... I’d learned that look. “But?”

She nodded again. “But... The old, traditional technique -- in spite of the objective, you could almost call it sterile; we’re taught to maintain such detachment.” She sighed, something I think she’s picked up from me. “One of the first mornings I was here, you told me...” She looked at me so intently, almost whispering. “We’re starving you, only letting you have little tastes...” She shook her head. “Touch-starved, that’s part of it. We questioned you, and the girls, under trance. A great deal of the increased satisfaction, for both of you, comes from snuggling afterwards, that simple act of holding. Oh, the process itself requires more involvement on our part, emotional involvement as well as physical...”

I nodded. “And they learned...”

Rose looked to Deev. She sat back, shaking her head. “Maybe we did them a favor; maybe we didn’t. We’ve tried to reshape sociology, the basic family unit. You and I were so lucky, being raised with strong families, strong fathers. So many of these girls have never had men in their lives, especially someone as kind, as considerate, as intelligent as you.”

I wasn’t sure where this was going, but I was uncomfortable all of a sudden.

“Both girls,” Rose continued, “are pretty much at the end of their rotations here, and want to be transferred. Karen wants to study more; Deev and I have talked with Helen Kalansky to get her placed.” She looked to Deev again; both of them sighed.

Rose looked to me again. “Judy... Judy is more complex. You’ve...” Rose paused to wipe her eyes. I moved quickly, sitting between them, holding Rose, feeling Deev hold me.

“Oh darling,” Rose whispered, “you’ve brought out so much in her, and in me...”

Rose brushed my face with her fingertips. She shook her head, smiling. “I’m not sure how she did it, how she got them to agree...”

“I know,” grumbled Deev.

Rose nodded with raised eyebrows, a thoughtful look. “Yes, that’s perhaps the best guess, that they did it to pay me back.” She looked in my eyes again. “They thought it would make me jealous...”

“What’s going on?” I asked, more confused.

“Alan, if you agree, and it’s your decision, Judy wants to leave with something special...”

“Oh?” I asked.

She smiled. “Your child.”

I sat back. Deev pulled me to leaning on her. I closed my eyes, moving around until my head was cushioned between her breasts and I could hear and feel her heart beating.

How many “children” did I have? To the nearest order of magnitude? More than a hundred thousand but less than a million? On the high side of that... How many had I “started” myself, over twenty-plus years? A hundred, hundred twenty? One every other month? I’d been really busy a decade or so ago, one every week for a while. I could check...

“Is she sure?” I asked.

Deev hugged me. “Oh, she’s sure,” Rose replied.

I sighed and nestled in more. “What’s your opinion? Professionally?”

I heard her sigh. “I’m not sure... Perhaps I’m too close to be objective. I’ve spoken with my analyst; I can argue both sides.”

Jealousy -- Judy carrying my child before Rose did? But Rose said we’d “had” a number of children together. And carrying my child, being pregnant, Rose wouldn’t be able to produce eggs. Well, she wasn’t going to be producing large numbers for the next six months or so anyway. “Would it be wise for me to talk to her? I could do that tomorrow.”

I felt Rose move closer, sandwiching me in. She kissed my neck. “That would be best.”

I started to move, to tell Rose that I loved her, but as I moved, Deev held me tighter, Rose whispered in my ear as she touched me gently, and the world went soft.

We rode together on a cloud, Rose and I, and I told her, over and over, that I loved her, and I needed her.

Sunday morning walking back from breakfast, Deev on one side and Rose on he other. We’d been quiet so far. “Ah, how do I arrange to speak to her, to Judy?”

Rose replied, “I’ll call, and Deev can walk you to the building, if she’s available, of course.”

“The prohibition against being in the building, any of their buildings without you, still holds?”

“That would be best,” Rose told me.

“Unless you want to be their little teapot,” Deev threw in.

Deev and I walked to the Order’s residence building about an hour later. Hard to believe -- their presence, two buildings, because I’m here...

Deev went into the building, returning with Sister Judy.

As they approached, Judy held back a bit, tentative?

“Sister Judy,” I said, opening my arms to her.

Still tentative, until I held her. She sighed and gave me a squeeze.

Looking at her -- so young -- early twenties? How had she fallen into the Order?

“Walk with us?” I suggested. “The weather is with us, at least.”

She nodded.

I took her arm in mine. Deev followed behind.

“Rose told me... Are you sure this is what you want?” I asked.

I think she nodded. I shook my head, stopped, and turned so we were facing. I lifted her chin with a finger. I smiled -- she was so pretty. I remembered looking into her face, falling into her eyes as she took me.

“You need to tell me,” I said.”

“Yes,” she said with surprising strength. “I want your child.”

So strange -- how many children did I have? “And next year, and the year after?”

She smiled more, stepping closer. “Yes...”

I put one hand on her shoulder, the other behind her head, and pulled her to a kiss.

She put her head on my shoulder with a sigh.

“Judy, if you’re sure,” I whispered.

She smiled, raising her head. “I am sure.”

I took her arm again. We walked, Deev following once more.

“When would this happen?” I asked.

She gave my arm a squeeze. “This Wednesday or Thursday would be best. I’ll know tomorrow.”

Deev spoke up. “We will work out details.”

Judy had a curious look.

Deev added, “One of us will be there.”

Judy smiled. “I understand.”

“...to help...” Deev said.

Judy smiled more. “That would be very nice.”

We kissed briefly, then walked more.

“Where will you go?” I asked.

She sighed. “I’ve been offered a position at a research station, Station Six. I’ll be taking advanced degrees there as well.”

I nodded. We turned and walked back. We kissed in front of her building. Deev walked with her to the door, and spoke with her for a moment. Judy turned to me and smiled broadly before going in.

Deev walked back to me. She smiled and shook her head. We intertwined arms.

“Well?” I asked.

Deev smiled, moving her arm around my waist.

Oh well.

We went to my study. Rose was on the couch reading. She gave us a questioning look.

“She’s immune, that’s for sure, and I’d guess no worse than 2B,” Deev said as she got rid of her outergarments.

“Really?” asked Rose.

“Explanation, please?” I asked, shaking my head, trading shoes for slippers as I sat in my tutor’s chair.

Deev plopped on the couch with a sigh. “She’s to be posted to Station Six -- that’s their ‘research’ station above the Arctic Circle. Only staffed by immunes. Ooh! We’ve got tags on her!” Deev was sitting up, excited and attentive.

“Would someone care to translate for me?” I asked, frowning.

“Doesn’t he do that well?” Rose told Deev.

I frowned more.

Rose sighed, smiling and shaking her head. She moved on the couch, making room for me. “Alan, come sit with us, please.” She patted the spot next to her.

I moved with a harrumph. They laughed at me!

But they held me when I sat between them.

“I know from earlier snooping,” Deev told us, “that Station Six is staffed entirely by genetic immunes. Through datamining outside the Order, I determined it’s located North of the Arctic Circle -- you can learn a lot from travel records. I also determined that all the personnel are high-grade.”

Rose picked up the explanation. “There’s a grading or rating scheme... Class 1 are the clears. Each class is subdivided, 1A males such as your exalted self, I am 1B; there are, what, three or four hundred of us? C and D are considered clear but with ... noisy ... sections, yes?”

Deev nodded. “I can check; I think we’re up to around four sixty now. That’s as good an explanation as any for 1C and D. Not 1A/B, but no recognized issues. Class 2 are minor genetic issues, snips. I’m 2B. Class 3 still minor issues; the Order would like to limit reproduction to 3 and above, with some wanting only 1 and 2. Not very many takers on that.”

“Singapore,” Rose suggested.

“Not officially... But now I’ll be able to probe that site!” Deev rubbed her hands in glee.

“Explain,” I requested. “I thought you found out a lot already.”

She nodded. “So far, from statistical queries. Imagine this huge cloud of data out there -- riddled with tripwires. It’s hard to do individual queries, what was your heart rate and blood pressure at 6 AM yesterday, for example, without attracting undue attention. Rose and I can do that kind of query on you, because we’re working with you.”

“But if someone in Sydney or Paris did that, all hell would break loose,” Rose added.

“Expand on that, please?”

Deev made a noise. “Wouldn’t get the data, that’s for sure. And unless they were very clever on how they’d made the query, they’d quickly, in a matter of days at the latest, have the opportunity to personally explain to representatives of the Order just why they were after that information. And you understand how persuasive the Order can be...”

“Indeed. Of such incidents teapots are made?”

“You got it,” Deev agreed. “Usually it takes more than once, although they have been known to go after single queries.”

“But at the same time,” Rose added, “They have to enable legitimate research.”

“So most of my work is based on statistical queries,” Deev agreed, “define and query cohorts. It’s an interesting dance; I can query some things but not others without raising attention. It’s set theory -- a group of qualifiers returns a set with you as a member. Now add one more qualifier and form a subset of that first set -- exclude blue eyes, as an example. Now I have a set with you in it, and everyone in that set but you -- I can query both sets and learn whatever I want about you by comparing results. I’ve got other tools to let me mix things up and evade the guard dogs. By accident I identified a cohort that essentially resolved to one location. Once I had that definition, I could query that cohort, see what else I could learn about them. That’s all without knowing or identifying individuals. Definitely the hard way. But now that I have an individual, I can go in with that information -- well, go in through a side door... But I’ll be able to learn a whole lot more about what goes on.”

“How?” I asked.

She grinned. “Remember, this is a highly analytical organization -- and as one of my profs used to say, ‘and that starts with anal’... Once Judy’s up there, I’ll be able to suss out the entire site -- specialties, staffing, you name it.”

“How did your ‘talk’ go?” Rose asked, changing the subject.

“She says she’s sure,” I told her, rubbing her back.

“Wednesday or Thursday,” Deev added.

Rose frowned. “Of course. Okay, we’ll postpone a day or so.”

“That will give Helen a little more time to get her ducks in a row,” Deev suggested.

“How many schemes going on here?” I had to ask.

Rose chuckled and shook her head. “Not that many -- on our side, at least, and we count Helen and her group on our side. We’re going to make a difference, that’s for sure.”

“Whether the Order likes it or not?”

“Who knows, they might actually listen,” Deev suggested.

“We’ll know in a week.”

“And until then?” I asked.

Deev grinned. “We’ll have to do what we do best...” She dug fingernails into my shoulders.

“May I visit the loo first?”

They laughed at me again!

But I actually got work done. They were in the kitchen, working on their analysis and presentations. They were in their own world through dinner, not talking much.

I was surprised when we took a longer walk back to my residence. The evening was clear and cold.

Holding Rose, looking in her eyes, she shook her head.

“What?” I asked.

“What they’ve done to you, to us...” she whispered, “It’s a wonder they haven’t lost more.”

Walking back, Deev told me, “The data from your exercise programme really settles any doubts -- and the data from both of you when they restarted and tapered the drug. Even they won’t be able to ignore it.”

We went back. I read for a while as they typed away.

But only for an hour or so. Without a word, we went upstairs, We held each other and went to sleep.

We slept in Monday, at least in comparison to the last few weeks. Rose threw Deev and me out of bed in time to exercise.

“Saving me for later in the week?” I suggested to Deev as we walked across the courtyard.

She put an arm around me. “We’re trying...”

I laughed. “If I can hold out, so can you...”

She laughed with me. “But we can still snuggle...”

“Please,” I whispered, stopping on the path and holding her close.

Walking back from lunch, Deev left us along the path. I glanced up from my first afternoon tutorial to see her returning with Judy in tow. They entered and went upstairs. I kept at my students; they were sitting papers shortly, and I expect them to do well.

That tutorial ended, another started, and it ended. I wrote up my notes. Visited the downstairs loo. Did I have to make my own damn tea? I listened as I passed the stairs, but didn’t hear anything other than air circulating. Frown -- my little abode was extremely well built. I probably had no idea how well built, how secure... “Sacred Seven” and all that. Narrow damn stairs with a turn at the top -- how had they gotten my huge bed up there, and the bloody wardrobe? Nevermind -- I’ve work to do. If I take supper alone, so be it. Did that for years.

But they came downstairs, the three of them, around supper time. All dressed proper, even if Judy did look quite rosy and with a big, if somewhat spaced out, smile.

“Productive afternoon?” I asked, slipping into my shoes.

When I stood up, Judy took me in her arms, kissing me. We wrapped around each other, taking our fill.

“Dinner?” interrupted Deev.

Rose laughed as we pulled apart. We walked together to the hall. I knew better than to press for details. During our meal we chatted politely about college life. Many of my students would be sitting papers soon; I expected each to do well, and was helping as I could. With the older ones it was review. With the younger ones, it was review and helping them through the ordeal. I was so lucky, always such good students. Deev complained about the weather. We chided her, as she’d not enjoyed a full winter here -- nor was she inclined to do so! And while there was no explicit reference or questioning, I got the distinct feeling Judy didn’t know where she’d be going, just that it was a research station, and she’d be taking advanced degrees as well as other duties (unspecified).

We separated with a brief hug, though, outside the hall. Deev, Rose, and I made our way back to my residence.

“Preparation for later in the week?” I asked as we hung up our coats inside.

Those sphinx-like smiles...

“And when does mine occur?” I asked.

Rose and Deev exchanged glances. “What makes you think you need any more?” Rose challenged.

I chuckled and nodded.

Deev gave me a quick, intense hug. “We’ve work to catch up on. Don’t wait up for us.”

“Really?” I asked, looking at Rose.

She touched my forehead. “Oh, don’t worry -- we’ll hold you.”

“I promise,” Deev whispered as she briefly smothered me between her breasts.

I got to work. Occasionally I heard discussion from the kitchen. Occasionally I heard a louder, more spirited “discussion” from the kitchen... Mostly though it was the subdued clacking of keys.

I’d had it for the night. I tidied up and went upstairs.

I was about through with my evening bathroom routine when I saw Deev in the mirror.

“I came up to tuck you in,” she said as I turned to her.

“Thank you.”

She smiled, removing her top and bra. “Why don’t you get in bed? I’ll be a moment.”

I crawled into bed while she used the loo. It was nice, having more room to myself, but I wouldn’t trade that for skin against skin, for waking up and snuggling close, being held, being held to a nipple...

The room lights went off and the bed moved as Deev slid in with me. Oh, skin against skin feels so good! We wound together. She held me where I wanted to be, and rocked me to sleep in her arms.

Anticlimax? No, it was special. Wednesday returning from lunch, stepping back into my little abode, soft hands on me, soft voices whispering me to that special place. Rolling on the bed with Judy, kissing her, sucking on her, going down on her. Her cries made me all the hungrier for her. On top of her, thrusting into her, looking at her, feeling her hands pressing on my lower back, filling her and collapsing to a kiss. Some times alert, other times in dreams, we were together through the afternoon, evening, night and morning. I remember sitting up, Judy in my lap, rocking together as Deev held us to her delicious breasts, Rose’s voice in my head. I went to sleep holding Judy’s head on my shoulder. Different things, intense -- Judy riding me, one with her on her knees, head down on the bed, me standing by the bed holding her waist.

The four of us having soup for lunch in my little kitchen, hugging and kissing, curling up in bed with Deev, her softness and weight all around me, drifting to sleep.

I showered alone, dressed, and went downstairs. Deev and Rose were dressed, hovering over Rose’s computer display.

We walked to the hall for supper.

“How did I do?” I asked, walking between them.

Rose rubbed my back. “I think you did very well. What do you think?”

“Intense. I wish her well.” I took a breath. Cold, damp air. “Are you ready to go?”

“Helen is having to hold her crew back. Some of them are upset, claiming we’re too soft, pulling our punches,” Deev told us.

“And those punches are?” I asked.

“Low, fast, and nasty,” Deev snarled.

“We’ll tell you tomorrow afternoon, dear, and let you read the reports,” Rose told me.

In spite of not having that much to eat, I wasn’t that hungry.

Checking my desk when we got back, I had notes from Alex, from students.

“Am I free tomorrow?” I asked Rose.

She smiled. “We don’t have anything planned -- maybe Bird and Baby for supper to celebrate.”

I nodded, smiling to her, and picked up the phone.

“Alex, I saw your notes. I can meet with Caroline and Anita at their convenience; schedule an hour to an hour and a half for each of them, and reassure them that I’m certain they will do just fine! ... Yes, thanks dear. ... Oh yes, I’ll make exercise in the morning.”

Rose looked up, questioning.

“I’m meeting with students for review. It’s more a matter of nerves than anything else.”

She nodded. “As it is with all of us.”

I sat with her. Deev was working away on her computer in the kitchen. “You, too?”

She put her head on my shoulder, her arms around me. “Alan, they’ve got to change. They will change; it’s a matter of whether they do it voluntarily, or have to be dragged, kicking and screaming.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, kissing her on the head.

She moved her head, still on my shoulder. “No, Alan, thank you -- for your perseverance, for your notes, for keeping your humanity.”

I kissed her head again. “I have you and Margaret to thank for that.”

I held her. “I’m also warm and snuggly -- do you need to be held?” I offered.

She looked up, smiling. “Oh yes, I do.”

We didn’t make it to bed for a while, but when we did, I held her, she held me, and Deev held us both. I slept well.

They were up early; we were up early, and had an early breakfast.

“Wish us well,” Rose told me at a junction in the path back to my place.

I hugged her and whispered, “I love you.”

I turned to Deev and hugged her. “Oh, I love to be lost in you,” I told her.

She growled and squeezed me tighter.

They walked off to battle.

I started walking back to my residence, but turned and headed to exercise. I’d be a little early, but what the hell.

I invited Anita to lunch with me. I dislike eating alone, and she needed the boost in self-confidence. It was a treat for her; she tried not to spend all her time looking around. Another of her tutors stopped by and told her what a fine job she’d done on her paper. That helped greatly.

Caroline was a similar story; she would do fine. She was having problems with very difficult material, and it was a tribute to her that she was questioning it.

Rose and Deev returned a little before five. They were smiling. I got big hugs and kisses from each.

“Are we celebrating?” I asked.

“Oh yes, we are!” Deev said enthusiastically.

“Was it bloody?” I asked Rose, arms around her waist.

She smiled; we do that when we look at each other, it just happens. “A little at first, but when Helen’s team weighed in, they figured out pretty quickly they were in for it whether they liked it or not.”

I moved us to sitting. “Very good. Now give me the two minute summary, please.”

Deev sat on the other side of me, and grabbed me for a quick squeeze. Rose laughed.

“Alan,” Rose started, “As you may recall, they asked, and we agreed, for an analysis of your notebooks. We gave them our report on the analysis of your notebooks. We showed them how you had been keeping detailed notes on your experiences, and your mental state.”

“And we managed to get in a few swift kicks on how being cheap and restrictive hurt a lot of people,” Deev tossed in.

Rose nodded. “We demonstrated clearly that the way you have been treated has caused you psychological distress from the start.” She paused and smiled. “They didn’t like that, so we went for the kill. We showed them clearly how you were able to go back and deduce the onset of medication. We proved that the medication caused severe physical effects, as measured by both exercise and non-exercise physiological response. We also proved that the medication induced severe clinical depression, and concluded that the same medication is linked to the suicides of others.”

I nodded. “And for the future?”

“Thanks to the efforts of Helen’s group,” Deev added, “Those medications will be banned in many countries by the end of next week.”

Rose smirked. “The Order graciously agreed to ‘study’ our findings; Helen told them the manufacturers have agreed to withdraw the compounds from the market, and a number of governments are banning their use outright.”

“And the future, going forward, for individuals such as me?”

Rose smiled broadly. “You are individuals! And when we treat you as such, care for your needs, engage you, care for your psychological, social, as well as biological needs, you are happier, more productive, in every sense of the word, and live longer. Simply put, we need to take care of you!”

“And will they?” I had to ask.

Rose sighed. “That’s the question, isn’t it? Certainly we’ve taken a few things out of their bag of tricks, and showed them the benefit of changing their ways. Did you know... Helen showed, through analysis and correlation of data from multiple sources, including biometric data, that your immune system is stronger, and your stress levels far lower when you’re happy. Both of us, you and I darling, are so much healthier now than before I arrived... It’s a lot harder for them to ignore that kind of data.”

“Harder,” I offered, ever the optimist.

Deev grabbed me and smothered me to her. “Oh, we kicked ass! They have to change, if for no other reason than they can’t sweep it under the rug! The data is out there!”

I was so hungry for her -- I wanted to pull off her bra and fill myself with her. I started leaning backward so she’d be on top of me.

Rose pulled us apart. “Dinner! I need something to eat!” She poked me as she pushed Deev back. “And so do you!”

We grumbled as we got up. I’m glad we did, though, as dinner was very good. Even though it was damp and cold out, we took the long way back. How I missed the clear night sky!

Back home, Deev wanted to drag me right up to bed. I didn’t fight, much. But when we got upstairs, I stopped her mad rush to strip us, leaving her bra and panties on, and my shorts.

“Slow down for a moment, please,” I whispered. “Let me feel you...”

Standing together in the room, I burrowed my head in between her breasts, running my hands along her, feeling her, feeling the smooth fabric of her bra, and the warm softness filling it.

She put one hand behind my head and one on my lower back, holding me closer.

On the bed, I couldn’t get enough of her, on top of me, around me. She rode me deliriously, and I came so hard and so fast, and still couldn’t get enough of her.

Holding on, being held to a nipple, I felt Rose slide up behind me. She squeezed me to Deev and started whispering in my ear. After a while, something in me let loose, and I could relax. I could relax, let go, and be held.

“What was with you last night?” Deev asked, hugging me downstairs as we were about to get our coats and walk to breakfast. It was raining out, and we’d need umbrellas.

“I don’t know,” I told her, holding on for a moment.

Rose stepped closer. I felt her hand at the back of my head. “Really?” she whispered.

I closed my eyes and held Deev closer. “Your work is done. You’ll be leaving,” I said, my voice full of emotion.

Deev kissed the top of my head. “Monday morning,” she whispered.

“But I’m not going anywhere,” Rose told me. “I promise.”

That helped, yet it didn’t.

Shaking off rain inside the entrance to the hall, Deev muttered, “Not going to miss this damned weather, that’s for sure!”

After breakfast, I went upstairs to change. As usual when it rains hard, I’m soaked from the knees down.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, putting on fresh socks after drying myself off, I looked up to see Rose coming in.

She walked up and pushed me back on the bed, laying on top of me. I held her tight, closing my eyes.

“Oh Alan, I’m here, and I’m staying here, with you.”

We held each other for a while, then went downstairs.

Deev was at her computer in the kitchen, laughing. “Oh, you turkeys! We expected better!”

“What’s happening?” I asked.

Deev shook her head, smirking. “Oh, what we expected. Actually, the two-day delay helped enormously. Helen and her team were able to prep so many people, anticipating their antics -- the Order has been moving to undermine what we’ve done. Helen’s people -- around the world -- not only got the word out, but prepared people for exactly the kinds of attacks we’re seeing. Ooh, it seems the Singapore government was not very happy with the Order’s representatives! It’s really hard to contradict your own people, your own data... But the group in Canada is behind us!”

“Dissention in the ranks?” I asked.

“Oh, quite a bit,” confirmed Rose. “At least on details such as this. Still broad agreement on directions, goals though.”

Walking to lunch Sunday (we’d missed breakfast, gloriously), Deev’s handiphone breeped pretty much as soon as we walked out my door. She pulled it out and looked at the display -- her eyebrows went up and she answered it. “Yes? This is Deev.”

We stood there in the path, Deev listening, nodding. “That’s complete bullshit! For one, they have no basis for making those interpretations. Second, they’re wrong! ... No, that’s absurd! My information came directly from his notebooks, and from personal interviews. Would you like to speak to him? Yes, he’s right here; we were on our way to lunch.”

Deev handed me her phone.

“This is Alan Grant,” I said.

“Doctor Grant, this is Helen Kalansky. I’m in a meeting with a number of colleagues, and wondered if you might have the time to answer some questions for us.”

I smiled; it sounded like she was using a speakerphone. “Of course, Doctor Kalansky -- it’s an honor to finally speak to you.”

“Let me assure you, Doctor Grant, the honor is mine!” she replied, with some laughter in the background. “We do have some questions on your notebooks, the records you kept.”

“Yes, for what dates, particularly? I can have someone fetch the relevant volume.” I moved to a nearby bench.

“March through May of 2090, particularly,” she said.

“March - May 90, please,” I told Rose, who took off to get the book. “I’ll have it momentarily.”

“Thank you. While we’re waiting, why did you keep those notes? And for whom?”

“I kept them for myself, as a diary. I did not keep them at the direction or request of others. If I had, I certainly would not have used the forms I did! I’ve been aware that I’m under a microscope, and wanted to keep some things private, which is why I invented the schemes I did.”

“Why was it important to you to keep them private?” another voice asked.

I shook my head. “Why do any of us desire to keep aspects of our lives, our thoughts, private? For me, partially, by writing them out, giving them voice, I can seek to offload some of the pain. I don’t know who told me, long ago, not to hold things in. Until so recently, I’ve had nobody to share these with, no shoulder to cry on. So paper had to do. And because I feared, rightly it seems, that my feelings towards privacy would be neither shared nor respected, I kept them in the form I did.”

Deev nodded, sitting next to me. Rose rushed up with the notebook, handing it to me and sitting next to me.

“And these notes, these marks, were contemporaneous?” another voice asked.

“The date of each entry is clearly shown at the top of the page. I tried, where something covered multiple days, to indicate that.”

“Have you ever revised or edited...”

“No! Once something is written, it’s written! At least in the physical sciences, when we teach students to keep notebooks, we try and instill in them the importance of accurate record keeping. We teach them, I teach them, that if they find an error later on, to note that when they find it, but never, never alter earlier notes. Science is based on observation, and intellectual honesty.”

Another voice started in describing the entry for a day in late March, and... I finally had to interrupt, I’d been laughing. “That is the most ludicrous, preposterous, and tortured thing I have heard in a long, long time!” I described that entry in detail, translating, pointing out that I’d used the same terms and structures for over a decade. Well, where could the other interpretation have come from? I had no idea -- it certainly had not come from me! I was peppered with other questions. I spent a while describing what I felt coming off the drugs and having them reintroduced and tapered, the feelings in my fingers, my legs, other aspects. I shot down the occasional attempt to revise history or put garbage in my mouth.

I realized this could go on for hours. “Doctor Kalansky,” I said, “It’s evident that someone is trying to recast the work done by Sister Rose and Sister Deev. Let me say quite clearly that Sister Rose and Sister Deev are the only ones I have discussed this material with. Sister Deev and I went through each entry, each and every word in her analysis. Let me clarify -- and Deev is sitting next to me -- it’s not just her analysis, it is our analysis. I stand behind that analysis. The entries in those books are what they are, and they mean what I say they mean -- I made them! Attempts by others, particularly by others who have not spoken with me, to cast them as something else are preposterous and wrong! Doctor Kalansky, Helen, I thank you for your assistance. It’s clear to me this discussion could go on for quite a while. I would suggest that the best way to continue would be to meet with me here, at Oxford. I would like to meet you, and your colleagues, and I’d hope that you would be interested in meeting the lab rat who has kept you and a succession of talented students and colleagues entertained for all these years...” Laughter at the other end. We wrapped things up fairly quickly after that.

Walking to the hall, still in time for lunch... “Why would any rational person think they could get away with crap like that?” I asked more or less rhetorically.

Deev suggested, “They’re not used to being doubted, or called on things.”

“And that’s why Helen and her group did such a superb job,” Rose added

“Bound to piss some people off,” I muttered.

“Which is why we also warned people about sudden recanting or restatements coming from any of us -- Helen knows how little teapots are made,” Deev added, hugging both of us.

We helped Deev pack, taking a break for our last lamb supper together. Later that evening, and again in the morning, Rose orchestrated Deev and I, and it was glorious.

The three of us did breakfast together in the hall. We parted along the path afterwards.

When I got back from exercise, Deev was gone.

END of Part 5
Rev 2006/10/15