© Copyright 2003 by silli_artie@hotmail.com
This work may not be reposted or redistributed without the prior
express written permission of the author.
A work of fiction, meant for adults. Read something else if you are
not an adult, or are offended by stories with sexual content. Then
again, if all you’re looking for is in-out, in-out, in-out, you
should probably read something else. I welcome constructive comments.
Enjoy.
I woke to the sound of a phone ringing. I answered it, noticing that it was a bit before seven. “Hello?” I answered, sitting up by the side of the bed.
“Roger, this is David. Can you be at your University office by a quarter past nine?”
“Depends -- what am I in for?”
He managed a laugh. “It won’t be that bad. FBI and ATF have moved in, pissing off the locals. I’ve been on the horn with the folks on the East Coast. Any word from Hammond?”
“Nah -- tried again last night. They told me he was out of contact, but should be back today. How’s Janice?”
“Last update, she’s doing well, still on oxygen. How are you doing?”
“How the hell do I know?” I snapped back. A warm hand touched my back, and a warm, soft body moved next to me. “Sorry, David -- I don’t know what’s happening. I suppose you have the phone number for my lawyer?”
“Yes, Janice gave it to me, actually. Want me to invite him to the meeting?”
“Please -- that would be a big help.”
“Will do. I’m around if you need anything else.”
“Thanks. See you.”
I hung up the phone, then turned to Samantha. “We need to get up and shower,” I told her.
She plopped back on the bed, pulling me with her. “In a few minutes,” she whispered.
She started pulling me to her. Once her hand reached the back of my head, I collapsed into her, holding her tight. She cooed and held me, rocking me gently.
I drifted down again, enjoying the escape. But as I did, filled with her warmth, her softness, her tight nipple in my mouth and her cooing in my ears, something else clicked. I remembered her talking to me as she held me, repeating something over and over. Somehow I moved, observing from a distance. She held me, talking to me. I could hear her voice in the distance, but couldn’t understand the words. Things shifted, and although she was still holding me, I heard other voices -- Denise’s voice, Annie’s voice, someone else, whispering to me, holding me, binding me...
“Is that better?” Samantha whispered, holding my head between her breasts.
“Yes... Shower with me?” I knew what they were doing, and that Denise was at the bottom of it.
She squeezed me again. “Oh yes!”
“Why don’t you start the shower -- I’ll be right there.”
She kissed the top of my head, then let me go. “Okay.”
I held her for a moment, taking in the closest nipple one more time. With mutual sighs, we got up. She went to the bathroom and I went to the kitchen.
I picked up the white phone.
“Good morning, sir. What can we do for you?”
“Call David. I need a picture of Denise; he’ll know who I mean. I need it in twenty minutes, under my door. Got it?”
“Yes sir -- a picture of Denise, in twenty minutes. We’ll do our best, sir.”
“I know you will. Thank you for your professionalism.”
Samantha and I had a very nice time in the shower. While we were enjoying each other, something else was nagging at me.
No shaver, and I wasn’t about to try using a blade after all these years. Oh well -- I did find a fresh toothbrush and used that. But that wasn’t it -- something else as nagging in there. I took care of my hair, and while Samantha was doing hers, the phone rang.
“Ya?” I answered.
“Your picture should be there momentarily,” David told me. “What’s up?”
“Not sure yet. Do you have any guesses as to what was going on at my house that was so rudely interrupted?”
“I’m pretty sure -- they were planting monoxide cans, fancy little things with timers on them.”
I grabbed a chair and sat down, almost falling down. “Holy shit...”
“You can say that again, my friend.”
“Janice and I both, then.”
“Sure looks that way. That’s all I know -- the feds are being tight you-know-whats as usual, but one of your visitors was evidently carrying explosives. The other one took a round in the chest. Oh, your mouthpiece will meet us at the University.”
“Roger, you okay?” he asked after a minute or so.
“Yeah, no -- it’s starting to sink in, David. I’m starting to take this personally.”
“I believe you should, my friend.”
“What do you have to do in this state to get a concealed carry permit?” I asked him.
“We can discuss that privately. It’s a simple procedure, but one which should only be undertaken after serious consideration.”
“I agree. See you later.”
“One of the boys can drive you in -- it’s no problem.”
“Okay, I’ll think about it.”
I hung up the phone, more than a little numb. I stood, centering myself. Damn, it was hard.
A picture had appeared under the door. I picked it up -- Denise, damn her soul. I put it on the kitchen table.
I walked back to the bedroom and swept Samantha into a kiss, ending up on the bed.
“I thought you wanted to get up,” she said, pushing up on her arms on top of me.
“Yeah, we need to get moving, but you’re still delicious.”
We managed to get dressed.
“Toast and juice okay?” I asked as I walked to the kitchen. She was packing her bags. “That’s fine,” she called out.
I poured our juice and started making toast.
“Oh, you’ve met Doctor Dina?” she asked, glancing at the picture as she walked over to hug me.
“You know her?” I replied, trying to keep myself in check, holding Samantha close.
“Oh yes -- she’s been working with a few of us for about two years, doing a study of women in the hard sciences. She’s been tremendous in helping us deal with stress.”
“Us?” I asked, holding her, rubbing her back.
“Mmmm... I love snuggling with you... Yes, Annie, myself, and a few others. How do you know her?”
“I worked with one of her colleagues. When did you hear from her last?”
“Mmm... And I love the way you melt in my arms... She called Monday morning -- I hadn’t heard from her in weeks. It was good to talk to her again.”
My hands were getting cold... The toaster made a noise. “Toast time,” I whispered, giving her a little squeeze.
I buttered our toast, getting out two kinds of jam, setting things on the table and picking up the picture in the process.
As I looked at Samantha, their scheme became clear. Not only was I supposed to die, Samantha was supposed to die with me. I would have been found dead in bed with Samantha, and possibly Annie. Someone was getting nasty.
“What can I do to help?” Samantha said, reaching over to me.
“You’re doing it, Sam. Are you feeling better now?”
She smiled. “Much.” She wiggled in her chair a bit.
“You were really upset last night,” I suggested as we picked up the kitchen.
“Yeah, I don’t know why -- I need you so much some times, Roger -- and with what happened to your house, I couldn’t leave you -- I needed to be with you. I’m a lot better this morning.” She hugged my back, pressing against me and kissing my neck.
I dried my hands, putting down the dishtowel.
She smiled and pulled me to the couch, sitting me next to her.
“One of the things Doctor Dina has been really good with is helping us understand stress and the things we can do to get over it. I figured out something that really helps. You know what it is?”
I could see her nipples tighten under her top. “I can guess,” I told her softly.
With a feral grin she pulled up her top and bra, grabbed my head, and pulled me to a nipple.
“Suck, baby... Oh that’s it, suck on me, hold me,” she growled.
I held on, my head spinning. But after a short period, she sat us up a little, moving my head to between her breasts.
“Works for me,” I managed to say.
She rocked me a little. I closed my eyes, drifting in it.
“Oh Roger -- you’re so good... I love the way you melt in my arms. I haven’t found anyone like you...”
We sat up and she put herself back together.
“I hope you don’t get sick,” I told her, my hands on her thighs.
She smiled as she straightened herself out in her bra. “I’m not worried. Annie was worried, and really busy at school. I know she really wanted to be with you last night as well. I think that would be fun, the three of us. What do you think?” She moved my hands to her breasts.
I smiled. “I’m lost with one of you, Sam...” I moved my hands to her waist.
She looked at her watch and shook her head. “We need to get to school. Are you going to be here again tonight?”
I nodded. “Think so. I have to teach at the dojo tonight as well.”
She grinned. “One of us might swing by to watch, then.”
“Just one?” I teased.
She pulled me to a kiss.
I put two cans of Pepsi from the fridge into my bag. I picked up the white phone again.
“We’re headed to school. What’s the protocol?”
“I’ll be right over, sir. Do you need one of us to drive you?”
“No thanks. I can handle it.”
“Will you be with us this evening?”
“As far as I know, yes. I’m at the dojo if things run normally, so I wouldn’t be here until nine or so.”
“One of us will meet you at your dojo then, sir.”
“Okay.”
A knock on the door. Tom was there, a small two-way radio in one hand.
I shook his hand. “Thanks again.”
“It’s our job, sir.”
We went to the garage. I heard Larry give him the all clear on the radio. He opened the garage door for us. “Drive safely, sir -- we’ll see you this evening.”
He even got the door for Samantha. She waved to both of them as we drove off.
I turned on my cell phone. My stomach tightened up as we got closer to school. I parked at about a quarter to nine. Samantha had a nine o’clock class to teach -- that’s what grad students are for, right?
“Thank you, Sam,” I whispered, holding her.
“Thank you, Roger.”
I started walking to my office. My cell phone rang. I almost dropped my bag digging it from my pocket.
“You crazy, wonderful man!” It was Barbara, sounding very happy.
“Barbara, I love you and I need you,” I cried.
“Roger, what’s wrong?” she said, her voice changing swiftly from joy to concern.
“Where are you?”
“On the way to the airport in Toronto.”
“When can I see you again? I need you, Barbara. I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.”
“I love you, Roger. I was thinking it would be in a few days. What’s the matter? What happened?”
I took a breath. “There was an attempt to kill Janice and me. Obviously, it failed. Do you know where Hammond is?”
“Oh God, Roger -- are you all right?”
“I’m still breathing, so I’m fine, I guess. My house was destroyed, though.”
“Oh no -- are you okay? What happened?”
“Arson or the equivalent -- the place burned down. I wasn’t there. Where’s Hammond?”
“I just left the two of them. We hadn’t heard anything, but we’ve been out of touch deliberately. Oh Roger, things have happened so fast the last few days, thanks to you.”
Fast indeed. “Two of them? Rossman and Hammond?”
“Right. I’ll fill you in later, but they’re back together again. Oh Roger, I’m so sorry... My cell is going to drop out -- I’ll talk to you as soon as I can. I need you, too.”
“I’m at the University. I love you. I need you.”
“I love you too, Roger.”
The connection went dead.
At least things were happening again. I’d been leaning against a lamp post. I moved to a bench and punched in Hammond’s number.
“Good morning Doctor Hawthorne, what can we do for you?”
“Is Hammond back yet?”
“No sir, he’s not. Could we connect you with anyone else?”
I thought for a moment. “Yes, Doctor Angela Richards. In Boston, I believe.”
“Yes sir, we have her information -- one moment.”
“Roger, is something wrong?” Angela asked as she came on the line.
“Doctor Richards, Angela, we’ve still got problems, or more problems, and Denise is actively involved. Someone tried to kill Janice and me, and Denise has tampered with some girls at the University, the ones who have been using me.”
“Roger, let’s back up. Why do you think Denise is involved?”
I reviewed what had been happening with my house, Janice, the way Samantha and Annie had acted, then what I remembered from this morning.
“Angela, I don’t understand all of it. She was holding me, suckling me, saying something, saying it over and over as she held me. I don’t remember the words, but I remember her voice, and I remember Denise’s voice, and one or two others saying the same things as they held me. I don’t know what they were saying, but I know they were ... binding me.” I had to pause for a moment. I closed my eyes. “It’s so good, God it’s so good,” I whispered, almost in tears.
I heard Angela’s voice again, from far away, not really understanding, until I blinked and was more aware again.
“Yes,” I said, answering a question I didn’t remember her asking, “twice -- last night, and then again this morning. She held me, binding me, holding me, and after letting me drift for a while, she got me so aroused, moved me to my back, and rode me. Afterwards, she held me again.”
In response to more questions, I told her of Samantha identifying Denise from a picture I showed her, her comments about speaking with her Monday morning, her help with “dealing with stress.”
“Roger,” Angela said seriously, “I agree with you. And I agree this has to be handled delicately. I’ll call the Director, and be out as soon as I can. It might not be until tomorrow. What else can I do?”
“I can’t think of anything else, Angela -- thank you, though. I’m scared for these girls. They would have died as well.”
“Yes, they would have. Roger, I’ll see you as soon as I can.”
“Thank you, Angela.”
I hung up the phone. Ten to nine -- I got up, took a breath, and headed to my office.
I felt apprehensive as I walked to the door. What was going to happen? What now? Where do I start?
I paused for a moment, my right hand reaching out to grasp the wooden handrail. The texture of it reminded me of my jo. I smiled.
This is randori, big time!
Multiple people from different directions, moving, flowing -- keeping my center, my balance while keeping the others off theirs. This is something I know, something I practice, something I teach. I am in control. I set the rules, just as I had in the hospital room in Chicago. This is something I know how to do. Stay in my center. Move from my center. Observe and act, without hesitation or doubt.
Once again, I remembered one of my teachers saying, “Serenity isn’t freedom from the storm, but peace within the storm.”
Let’s go!
Almost an anticlimax -- my office was empty, nobody in wait. I turned on my computer to check e-mail, and picked up the phone, grabbing a pad of paper. I had a large pile of voicemail messages -- no surprise. Quite a few were from reporters -- hit 33 then 7 to skip to the end and delete. Patti calling during a break in class, wanting to know how I was -- don’t need that one either. A few from colleagues who’d recognized my place on the news. I saved those and took notes.
The last one, a few minutes ago, from Herb offering his condolences and offering to take my classes if need be -- call him if I was going to do them, otherwise he’d plan on it. Love you, Herb. I left him a quick reply -- take today’s please, and I’ll let you know about tomorrow.
Oh shit -- leftovers -- I called the San Francisco folks on the mediation deal. We spoke for a while, the first few minutes were pure Japanese formula -- weather, roundabout introductions. They would like to come up and meet with me. Yes, Monday or Wednesday the following week would be fine. I gave them the University and dojo phone numbers. The guy sounded like he was from Hokkaido.
I hung up the phone, checking that one off in my notebook. Sensing someone, I looked up. One of the group secretaries was in the doorway. “Doctor Hawthorne, there are quite a few men here to see you.”
I smiled. “Yes, I imagine there are. Would you show them up, please?”
She nodded and walked off. I chuckled and shook my head. She was one of the older, more competent ones. The young ones tended to run off with visiting profs or postdocs.
It was a small mob. I recognized David, of course, and Rudy, my attorney. One of the others looked like one of the FBI D.C. guys from a couple of years ago -- he looked like shit right off the redeye, an all-nighter, or both. Three others I didn’t recognize.
“Good morning, gentlemen,” I said, standing. “Where is our police lieutenant?”
One of the unknown suits stepped forward, flashing a badge of some kind. “This is a Federal matter now. Doctor Hawthorne, we ...”
I held up a hand. He stopped. Aikido people can do that. “Gentlemen, first I’m going to speak with my attorney, then with David, and then I’m sure we can find some very interesting things to talk about.”
“Hawthorne, I’m not leaving here until you answer my questions,” the suit said.
“Promise me that?” I asked with a smile.
That threw him off balance. I stepped through the mob quickly, easily, fluidly, and into the hall.
“David, Rudy, join me for a walk?” I asked as I was cutting through.
The two of them were near the door. They peeled off from the mob and joined me in the hall.
“We’ll be back in half an hour or so, gentlemen; do make yourselves at home. Dial 9 for local calls, 8 for long distance.” I waved to them. I pointed to the bull and said, “You promised.”
I headed us to the cafeteria. Once outside, I asked, “Well, what the fuck is happening?”
Rudy started off. He had the envelope of stuff I’d given him for safe keeping. He’d contacted my insurance agent. They’d managed to get a preliminary police report. The insurance company would pay; I needed to come up with estimates for personal belongings. Rudy told me I’d been wise in keeping a replacement-value policy. They were ready to cut me a per-diem check.
David briefed me on what Janice had told the cops, local and Fed; she’d checked in with Rudy first. We worked occasionally for Hammond and crew. We helped expose a rat in Hammond’s organization, and this seemed to be related.
Okay, what are the legal issues? Rudy told me to pause before answering any questions. If a question wasn’t clear, tell them so. Don’t hypothesize or draw conclusions. “I don’t know” is a wonderful answer -- if it’s true. He’d object if need be, another reason for pausing before answering.
Had I heard anything this morning? I’d spoken to Barbara, but not Hammond. Evidently, Hammond and Rossman were back together again, and Barbara thought I was the catalyst. I got a large Dr. Pepper; they got coffee. We headed back to my office.
As I entered my office and looked at the crowd, their pacing reminded me of caged animals. I considered making a loud noise to see if they’d jump, but thought better of it.
The one guy tried again to be the bull, moving as if to block my path, but he misdirected so easily... I sat down behind my desk. I could tell from the look on his face he wasn’t sure what had happened, and he didn’t like it at all.
“Well, gentlemen, what can you tell me? What the hell happened to my house?”
The bull was D.C. FBI. Did I know anything about the guys who had been at my house? I don’t know what “anything” means -- be specific. Did I know who they were? No. Why they were there? No idea. Had I scheduled or authorized any work on my house? No. Did I know anyone who might want to kill me?
I took the envelope Rudy had returned to me and opened it. I took the framed photo of Kenai Sensei off my desk, turned it over, and pulled off the back and the picture. I took Barbara’s picture out of the envelope and put it in the frame, reassembled it, and put it in a place of honor on my desk. It had good shock value, and I love her.
The bull shook his head and asked again. Who had I gotten upset with me lately?
Other than him? That got smiles and a little laughter.
I told them I’d worked as an occasional courier for Ben Hammond’s organization for a little over two years. The last deal I’d been on, Janice briefed me that they were trying and expecting to expose a rat. We evidently succeeded, in spades, although all I got was a beating. I didn’t know the name of Hammond’s organization, or the name of the group that was after me. I knew the faces of my attackers in Chicago, that’s all. I’d heard various names associated with those faces.
When was the last time I’d spoken with Hammond? Last Thursday or Friday in D.C.
Did I know where he was currently? No.
The bull tried to harass me for a few more minutes, but I don’t harass very well. The louder he got in “asking” his questions, the softer I got in my replies. He finally scowled at another guy, handing off the ball.
This one was from ATF -- Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms -- brought in because there was an explosion. I interrupted him to tell him that was the first I’d heard of an explosion. Did I store chemicals in my house or garage? Define chemicals, please. Explosives, flammables? Well, some paint and such for the house, paint thinner, that’s about it. Oh, a small propane torch for the occasional plumbing repair and zapping weeds and wasp nests. No compressed gasses? Other than the propane tank, no. Had I ever worked with carbon monoxide? Nope. Did I know about it? Know what? General properties, that kind of thing. I knew it was poisonous in low concentrations, and acted by binding preferentially to hemoglobin, and was something to avoid. Did I have a monoxide detector in my house? No. Why not? I had radiant heating in the floors.
A different FBI guy picked it up. Why was I away from the house yesterday? I teach at the University. Why did I get home when I did? That’s the way things worked. Who was the girl with me? I gave them her name. What were we doing? I looked to Rudy, who frowned. Irrelevant, personal, and really stupid, I replied. David chuckled at that.
How did I know David? I’d taught the occasional class for his people through the years. I valued him as a friend. Did I know he was having my place watched? Not until he told me, and when he did, I thanked him. Why did he do that? How the hell should I know? Ask him! He’s sitting right over there!
They looked at each other. The bull told me they might have more questions later. I told him I had a lot of questions too, and would like some answers, and would help if I could. That got blank stares. I thought they had a lot more information than they were sharing with me.
The bull asked me what I was going to do now. I looked to Rudy, who shrugged. I told them I was going to pee, go see Janice in the hospital, and get some lunch. The bull frowned, then stood up.
I shook hands, wishing them a smooth trip back to the East Coast. They mumbled and left.
Rudy was shaking his head, smiling. “What now?” he asked.
I gave him Sensei Stern Look #3 -- did you really say that? “I’m going to pee, going to see Janice, and then have lunch.”
David laughed. He’d been around me more.
“Thank you for being here, Counsel. What do you think I should be doing?”
He took a breath, shaking his head. “We’ve got the insurance company moving. You won’t be able to go through the site until tomorrow, from what we were told. The feds threw the locals out. Where are you going to live?”
I glanced to David. “I’ve a temporary spot. Long term, I may kick someone out of a house I own -- the lease is year-to-year and is up the end of December. I don’t think we’ve renewed the lease yet, and I might not. That assumes, however, that I figure out what I want to do when I grow up. David, you want to visit Janice with me?”
David stood up. “Yes, I would.”
“I’d like to join you, if I may,” Rudy added.
“I’ll drive,” David suggested. I closed up the office. We made a mass pit-stop, and walked to the visitor’s lot where David and Rudy were parked.
We’d just pulled out of the lot when my phone rang. “Three-eyed toad,” I answered gruffly.
“Hawthorne? This is Hammond. What the hell is going on?”
“Good afternoon -- who have you spoken with so far?”
“Barbara Macmillan and Angela Richards. All of us are on the way out to you.”
“Well, you probably know about as much as I do. Someone tried to bump us off and failed, burning down my house in the process. They’ll be hard to question, unless you’re good with an Ouija board. My good friend from Kroll is providing me with temporary quarters.”
“What about those girls? You believe Denise is involved?”
“I’m certain of it. That’s the most delicate aspect, and the most disturbing.”
“Are you in a place where you can speak freely?”
“Nope.”
“Okay. We’re on our way to Seattle.”
“What’s the schedule?”
“Barbara should arrive around seven your time. Doctor Richards and I don’t get in until after midnight, so we’ll see you in the morning. Where should we meet?”
“I’d suggest the dojo,” I told him.
“Okay, tomorrow morning at nine? Hawthorne, I feel I owe you my life -- you’ve saved me, and my organization once more.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. “I’ll see you at nine at the dojo. We’ve got a few more rats to take care of, it seems.”
“We’ll get them, Hawthorne -- I promise you that.”
“Okay -- talk to you later. My cell doesn’t work when I’m in the safe house.”
“Take care, Roger.”
I hung up the phone. I was sitting in the back seat. “Hammond,” I told David and Rudy. “He’s on his way here -- we’re meeting tomorrow morning.”
“And Macmillan?” David asked.
“She should arrive this evening.”
“Do we need to pick her up at the airport?”
“Don’t know yet.”
Janice was out of intensive care, but still on oxygen. They’d cut her loose when her blood tests improved, possibly in the afternoon. She thanked David, and for some reason, she thanked me. David told her that her place had been checked and secured. From what he knew, the canisters didn’t have any fingerprints on them, but the mechanisms were fairly distinctive.
I told her she was missed at the dojo. That brightened her spirits. She told me that I’d been missed as well.
She still had a headache and needed the rest. David told her to call when she was released, and he’d have someone take her home.
We headed back to the University. Rudy reminded me to call him if I got more questions. He’d call when he got more from the insurance company. I gave him my cell number. David gave him the safehouse number. I offered to buy them a gourmet repast at the school cafeteria, but they laughingly declined. When I mused out loud about the media and how to deal with them, Rudy told me they’d already moved on to the next scandal, and to call him if I needed help.
I passed by my office, leaving a message for Herb that I’d be taking my afternoon class, and leaving a message for Patti and Abiko that I’d be at the dojo. I was about to head to lunch when my cell rang again.
“Blue suede shoes,” I answered.
“Roger, are you there?” It was Barbara, with a substantial amount of noise in the background.
“I love you. Where are you?”
“Trying to get to you, darling. I should land around six.”
“Should I have someone meet you?”
“No, I’ll get a car; I’ll need it anyway. Where should I meet you?”
“At the dojo. Do you have the address?”
“Yes, it’s on your card. I love you, darling -- see you this evening.”
“I love you, Barbara.”
I felt better, much better. I scratched at my face -- need to get a new shaver.
The sky was dark, but I was feeling bright. Let it rain -- I don’t care. I picked out lunch, getting two large soft drinks.
There -- in the corner area where I usually sat -- Annie and Samantha. Annie looked dour; Samantha looked rosy and relaxed still, that well-laid glow.
“May I join you, ladies?”
I put my tray down and was smothered in hugs. Annie told me how much she’d wished she could have been there to comfort me. I hugged them both. But Barbara was on her way.
I told them I didn’t know much more about what happened to the house, just that it was gone. Had I been visited by a bunch of FBI people? Yes -- they had questions and no answers. I was still out a house, but the insurance company had been contacted. A thought crossed my mind -- that bedding -- what the hell was I going to do about that? I took out my notebook and made a note. That’s about step eight in the process -- with step one being to figure out what the hell I was going to do when I grew up.
“Can we help tonight?” Annie said, rubbing my back.
I looked at them and shook my head. “Not tonight...”
They both sighed. “You’re sure?” Annie asked.
“I’m sure, dear. But thank you so much for the offer.”
We talked a little more. Annie had seen the story on the late news, and recognized the house.
We hugged again as we left the building, walked together to the other side of campus, and parted with hugs and kisses.
I got a chance to speak with my insurance agent. I told him I had a place to stay through the end of the next week. I wanted to get a townhouse or something similar through the end of the year at the least, rent or short-term lease. That sounded good to him. What did I need now? Well, I could tell that I was going to spend a few hundred dollars in the next few days just on toiletries, socks, and underwear. He could cut me a check for five or six hundred -- where should he deliver it? I told him after four at the dojo would be fine.
I taught my afternoon University class, running into Herb. I told him things were up in the air, and I’d probably need to spend some time finding a new place to live. He’d do what he could to help. The kids were quiet and attentive. I didn’t get any weird questions.
I stopped on the way to the dojo and replaced my shaver -- a fancy Braun thing with a fancy self-cleaning base. Damn, I paid full retail for it, with sales tax. I also replaced soap, shampoo, toothbrush, toothpaste, the usual lot. I got socks and undies at Target. The rest would have to wait.
Back on the mat, eyes closed, moving with the sword. I’d lost a good sword, and a good staff. They would have gone on to train many students. Flow, step, focus on breath, move from the center...
A number of people in both classes had heard of my plight, but others hadn’t. No big deal, not the end of the world. Life goes on, right?
I broke from the first class for a few minutes to talk to the insurance guy. He handed me a check, and a set of checklists. He’d been by the property, and hadn’t seen much for their usual recovery contractor to salvage. Make lists of what had been in the house, keep track of what I spend. He’d do what he could. They had building contractors they worked with. I told him I had the prints for the house, stored with a lot of other stuff, here in the dojo -- a benefit of insufficient storage space in the house, and comparatively unlimited storage space here.
Tom showed up from the safehouse in time for the second Aikido class. We found him a gi and got him on the mat. He had fun, and the advanced students enjoyed the fresh meat.
Bob and Donna came in to do the yoga class. They’d heard. We talked a bit about the Pilates pair. Vicki and Tom were so excited -- and I was giving them a better deal than they were currently getting on a far smaller space.
I collared Abiko and Patti as I was speaking to Bob and Donna. With the added classes, should we have an office manager? I mean a paid office manager? Bob told me that Vicki was an accountant who’d more or less burned out, turning to Pilates. He and Donna thought if I offered her the position, she’d jump at it. Patti poked Abiko, who admitted that having a manager would be a help to her.
One of the things I like about the yoga classes is that I’m not teaching. I close my eyes and go with it, opening them when someone is demonstrating a technique, or I’m looking for pointers (or good looking ladies, I’ll confess).
Partway through the class, I felt a touch on my shoulder. I opened my eyes. Barbara was standing in the entranceway.
I rushed to her, bowing before stepping off the mat, and swept her into my arms.
“Oh I love you, and I need you,” I told her.
“Shh... It’s okay... I’m here -- and I love you too,” she whispered.
I pulled her off to my office. “Thank you so much for coming out.”
“Oh Roger, I need to thank you -- we all need to thank you.”
I realized I was clutching her. I loosened my grip and stepped back, taking a breath.
“What happened?” I asked. “Where were you? Toronto?”
She nodded, smiling. “You didn’t tell me what you did! Why didn’t you tell me?”
I shrugged. “I didn’t think much of it at the time, and when I got home afterwards, you were upset and needed consoling.”
She smiled, shaking her head. “Is it true? You didn’t know?”
I shrugged again. “I didn’t -- and all I know is the thumbnail sketch Janice gave me -- your father being involved at the start with Hammond’s and Rossman’s fathers, Hammond senior splitting off the U.S. part, the sons taking over. Tell me -- what happened after I brought oil and water together?”
She hugged me. “Oh you -- they had lunch, walked around D.C. talking, talked through dinner, then took off for Toronto in Hammond’s jet. My father called me Saturday shortly after you left, wanting to know what the hell I’d done -- that’s how I found out! I left pretty much immediately for Toronto as his representative. We completed the details yesterday afternoon. Oh, all because of you! I love you!”
“And where does that leave you, and me?” I asked, looking in her eyes again.
“Wherever we want to be. Did you know that your school is looking for someone to teach art history, with an eye to possibly reviving a somewhat dormant program?”
“But what if I want to spend next semester in Geneva, or all next year?”
“Or the rest of your life?” she asked, looking at me intensely.
That made me hesitate. “Barbara, you need to talk to Richards. She’ll be out tomorrow. I’m not sure...”
She put her hands on my shoulders. “I spent almost an hour on the phone with her while we were both waiting at airports. I love you, Roger. Nobody has manipulated my mind.”
I held her tight, closing my eyes again. “I love you, Barbara. I’m so confused again.”
We held each other.
“Where are we staying, darling?” she asked after a bit.
We moved apart a little. “A safehouse provided by a colleague. One of his crew is here and will lead us over. I’ve got it through next week, but I need to find a place to live, and...”
“A place for us to live, darling -- I can help with that,” she interrupted.
“We can go as soon as I get changed,” I told her.
“Can I watch?” she smirked.
“Did Angela tell you about the girls -- about Samantha?” I asked with some guilt.
She nodded. “Yes, and I’d like to personally flail and skin whoever touched them.”
I shook my head as I peeled off my trunks. “If the plan had worked, the three of us would have been found dead in my bed. What a mess that would have been.”
She shook her head. “Nonsense, darling -- you wouldn’t have minded at all.”
I looked at her, a little surprised. “I guess you’re right about that.”
She smirked. “You’ll learn -- I’m right most of the time.”
“Yes, dear.”
We picked up Tom in the lobby. “You did well tonight,” I told him.
“Thank you, Sensei -- I’ll feel it in the morning.”
“That means you should come back!”
He looked at me. “I probably will. Ready to follow me?”
Barbara interjected, “We need to stop for something to eat -- I’m starving.”
“What would you like?” I asked her.
“A good cheeseburger and a chocolate shake? With bacon?”
Tom grinned. “I know just the place.”
I decided to not remark about a shake with bacon. “You follow Tom, and I’ll follow you, darling.”
Tom took us to a place near the University. He ordered, waited for us to order and sit down, then sat a ways from us, giving us space -- a good guy.
“I love you, Barbara -- I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.”
She held my hands, smiling. “I love you, Roger -- I understand.”
Shaking my head, I told her, “I wish I did -- I’m still confused and concerned. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Roger, you won’t...”
“I know I won’t knowingly, but that’s not what concerns me -- it’s hard for me to tell which way is up some times. I need to talk to Richards. Maybe we should see this person you know in Paris; maybe she could help.”
“Roger, listen to me. I spent quite some time on the phone with Angela Richards today. I share your concerns, and her concerns. We’ll make it through this. She’s certain of it, and so am I.”
I shook my head. Our dinner arrived. “You’re a brave woman, Barbara,” I told her.
She smiled, at least until I added, “... having raw onions this late at night...”
“You should have some in self-defense,” she smirked.
We ate quietly. I moved to sit beside her, as hamburgers require both hands. I scooted in next to her, leg against leg. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Tom wolfed down two burgers in the time it took us to do one each. He also picked up an order to go. “For Larry?” I asked him as we headed to the door. “Some of it,” he told us with a smile.
My old house had a single car garage. The safehouse had a two car garage, so we both parked in it. Barbara had two suitcases, the same two I’d seen in the Caribbean. “Hardly had time to cool off,” I muttered. Barbara looked back over her shoulder at me and nodded.
She did her unpacking as I sat nervously on the bed. “How long do you expect to stay?”
She shook out a blouse, then hung it in the closet. “I called Francie; she packed up more of my clothes and sent them to the dojo -- they’d better arrive tomorrow. I’ll be a week, at least.”
She walked over to me, putting her hands on my shoulders. “Don’t worry -- when I go back, it will only be for a few days, and I’ll probably take you with me, because I don’t want to be without you. Understand?”
I nodded and she hugged me to her. My arms went around her waist. I wanted her, wanted to be held by her, yet I was scared.
“I’ve got you,” she said, hugging and rocking me.
We made it to the bathroom to clean up. I unpacked my new shaver and plugged it in -- should have done that at the dojo. Oh well.
As I brushed out and re-tied my hair, I looked at Barbara.
She sighed and shook her head. Once I finished with my hair, she took me by the hand and sat me on the edge of the bed.
“Roger, you’re scared, aren’t you?”
I nodded. “And so happy you’re here, at the same time.”
She smiled. “I talked to Angela quite a lot today. We talked about what I should do for you tonight, and for me... Roger, I’ll take good care of you. Trust me.”
“I do, Barbara. I trust you. But...”
She frowned. “But what?”
“I still need to pee.”
She shook her head, frowning, pulling me to standing. We hugged.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” I told her.
I visited the loo. She was puttering, rearranging things in the bathroom.
I got into bed. It felt strange. I was pointed in a different direction, and somehow, that made a difference.
The bathroom light went out. I felt the bed moving a bit and turned to her.
Warmth, softness, perfume -- we moved together. “Let me hold you, Roger,” she whispered. She held me to a nipple, filling me. I held her, reveling once more in the pleasure of skin against skin. She held me, and started her wordless singing once more. I was troubled, but still realized I was as safe as I could be. I let her carry me off to sleep.
Partially awake in the early morning, the sun not quite up, pulled to her again, sighing and relaxing, held and comforted, sleeping in her arms.
Showering together, slippery soapy excitement of working up a lather as we wash each other.
Sitting on the corner of the bed, letting her brush out my hair, her soft singing carries me back to the dream.
Awake on my back on the floor -- she’s teasing me with her breasts, working her way up my body, impaling herself and using her weight to pound me into the floor. Holding on, squeezing, moaning, coming.
“Better?” she asked as we walked into the kitchen.
I held her, enjoying the smooth silk of her blouse and the way she filled it. “Much... But still concerned.”
I sat on one of the kitchen chairs as she perused the refrigerator. “We need to get some good coffee,” she muttered. I stood up to hold her as she bent over, but she straightened up as I approached. I held her anyway, kissing the back of her neck. “Want me to do toast?” I asked.
She held my arms around her waist. “Yes, in a moment.”
I fixed our toast and poured our juice. We sat at the table together.
I looked at her, shaking my head.
“What is it, Roger?”
“Barbara, I don’t know if it’s too early, or what. I don’t know...”
She looked confused. “It’s a little after eight. We don’t have to be there until nine.”
I shook my head again, a smile forming. “No, wondering if it’s too early to ask you to marry me.”
She managed to put her glass down. We held hands.
“No, it’s not too early,” she whispered, emotion in her voice.
“I don’t know whom you’d be marrying -- I’m not sure what’s real anymore.”
“I love the person I’ve been with these last few weeks.”
“I love you, Barbara. Don’t answer me now...”
She sighed, exasperated. “Oh, you -- I love you, and of course I’ll marry you!”
“You don’t know what kind of husband I’ll be.”
She raised an eyebrow, then smiled. “You’ll make just about the perfect husband, silly!”
“What?” Now I was confused.
“There’s nothing I need to throw out -- no strange bachelor furniture, no old clothes...”
I chuckled, holding her hands. “So there is a silver lining to this?”
She nodded. “If you look for one, of course there is.”
I picked up my toast. It was getting cold, but I ate it anyway.
“What’s your schedule for today?” she asked.
I shrugged. “I’ll call Herb and have him take my morning class. Meet with folks at the dojo, see what happens, be back at school for lunch. Nothing planned for tonight -- I’m taking Tuesdays and Thursdays off from the dojo. How about you?”
“I have a one o’clock appointment at school -- talking with people. I have more formal interviews Monday. Roger, I want to help. I want to look for a place for us to live. I can start Friday morning.”
I smiled and nodded. “You should talk to the property management folks -- take a look at the house near school. Did I tell you about that? If you like it, we can boot out the current residents and move in there after the first of the year. With luck, we’ll only need a place for two and a half months or so. They might even have something short term. There are some other things as well.”
“Oh?” she said, pulling out a notepad.
“Yeah, figure out what to do with the bedding I ordered, and is scheduled to be delivered to a soggy pile of ash the middle of next week. Help me pick out a bedroom set. Help me pick out new clothes.” I dug into my bag. “Here’s a checklist the insurance guy gave me. Bills, credit cards, mail -- all that can be redirected to the dojo.”
“Do you want to rebuild?”
“Don’t know. If I’m going to start a new life, let’s start a new life, together,” I told her.
Looking into her eyes, I smirked, chuckling.
“What is it?”
“Should I cut my hair?”
“What? Why? I thought you liked it as it is. It looks good on you.”
“Someone teasing me about buying a TV, cutting my hair, getting married...”
“Whatever you need to be happy,” she told me.
“Need -- the beginning of suffering. I would like some coffee, though. Should we go together, or take two cars?”
She shook her head. “I think I may have lost something in that transition... Let’s take two cars.”
I stood up and turned to the white phone. I heard her chair move on the floor, and felt her hand on my shoulder. I turned, and we hugged, silently. When she kissed my shoulder, I felt dampness transferred from her cheek to mine. I held her more.
With a sigh she stepped back, smiling resolutely.
“We’re headed for the dojo,” I told Tom on the phone.
“Be right over, sir.”
I hung up and put an arm around her again. “I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you,” she whispered in reply.
I answered the knock on the door -- Tom.
“How do you feel this morning?” I asked.
He grinned. “Sore but not too sore. Next time, I won’t hold back.”
I nodded. “Practice ukemi -- I’m sure you’ll be given the opportunity.”
“Yes, Sensei,” he said with a slight bow.
“Are we being led over?” I asked.
“Do you want to be?”
Damn, why is he having me make that call? “Don’t think so. We’re stopping at the Starbucks near the dojo.”
He nodded. “See you this evening, then.”
“I’ll be back around four. Barbara?”
She glanced up. “Three or four, I’d guess.”
“We’ll watch for you.”
On the drive over, I committed the sin of using my phone while driving. I left a message for Herb to take my morning class. We stopped for good coffee, and made our way over to the dojo.
We were the first to arrive. I opened up, and had Barbara help me put up one of the folding tables in the back -- once we took off our shoes and I showed her how to bow at the door, and why we did it.
We visited my office again as I rummaged for recent bills. I tended to keep a lot of that stuff at the dojo anyhow.
I found the folder I needed. Barbara was looking around the room, smiling.
“What?” I asked.
She looked at me, smiling still, shaking her head. “This is your home. This is where you live.”
I nodded, stepping around the desk to hold her. “I’m trying to wean myself from the place -- for you.’
She raised her eyebrows.
I looked at the clock -- a quarter to nine. “I think I can make some calls.”
She nodded, and kissed me on the forehead. “Please. Do you mind if I look around?”
As I moved back to my chair, I looked in her eyes. “Not at all.”
I took care of the utilities. Gas, water, and electricity had already been notified by the fire department -- I had them forward the bills to the dojo. The phone company was clueless. I finally asked for a supervisor and I think I got my point across. I’d need to drop off a change of address form at the post office.
I was starting to flail in a sea of “what to do about” things -- I settled for making a list of them for now.
I shouldn’t have been surprised when David arrived. I introduced him to Barbara. When I told him he might be asked to leave at some time, he told me he understood.
Hammond arrived with Angela Richards and Ken, the guy I’d spotted in D.C. Hammond looked better than I’d seen him recently. He was smiling, and looked rested.
“Ben,” I called him, being familiar, “David is the head of the local Kroll office. But for David’s friendship and his long nose, neither Janice nor I would be alive today.”
“Mister Hammond, it’s an honor and a pleasure to meet you,” David told him.
“Thank you for watching out for two very good people,” Hammond replied.
We moved around the table in the other room. “How’s Janice doing?” I asked to kick things off.
“She should be released around lunch time,” David told us. “We can give her a ride home if you’d like. We checked her building -- it’s clean. And we’ve had it under surveillance. We haven’t spotted anything.”
Hammond nodded. “Ken and I can give her a lift. I’d like to see her.”
Angela looked to Barbara and me. “I’ll go to school with Roger and Barbara.”
“David, what else can you tell us about things?” I asked.
He shook his head, opening a folder and pulling out a stack of papers. “I managed to get photos of the canister retrieved from Janice’s place. The ones at your house, Roger, were identical as far as I know. Checking with some of our people, the time delay valves are of old Eastern-Bloc origin, East German. That means just about anybody could have them.”
He passed the paper stack to me. I looked through it momentarily and passed it on to Hammond.
“Roger, about your place -- I have good news and bad news,” he continued with a frown.
“Well, give me the good news first.”
“The good news -- you won’t have to worry about site cleanup very much.”
“Why? I don’t understand.”
He nodded. “I think you upset our visitors from D.C. -- they had crews working most of the night, practically scraping the place clean. About the only thing left is the driveway, concrete garage floor, and a few chunks of foundation. Of course, they pissed off the neighbors and local cops, what with the racket they made all night, and not releasing the site until a little while ago.”
I shook my head and looked at Barbara. “Looks like we need to do some shopping.”
David looked at us. “Any questions for me? If not, I’ll move along.”
As he stood up, so did I. So did Hammond. I hugged David. “Thanks -- I owe you one.”
Hammond shook his hand. “We owe you two,” he said.
David took his leave, pausing at the edge of the mat to bow to the front of the dojo. He turned and waved to me with a smile.
We sat down again. “Well, what now?”
We talked strategy and tactics for a bit. Everyone agreed that the attempts were payback. Hammond said they were following fresh leads on Denise. My double Roger had been moved to a most inhospitable place, and had subsequently decided to sing like a canary.
I was concerned they’d take another whack at me. Why? Because that’s what they’d done with Christie and me -- these bastards were persistent, if nothing else. Hammond agreed -- his people were watching Christie. They’d watch us, as well.
Angela Richards said she expected attempts on me to come through Denise. That’s why she wanted to meet the girls at school. She also expected our best leads on Denise through the girls. She hoped she could arrange some way to spend some time with them privately. I told her I wouldn’t be surprised to see them at the cafeteria for lunch today. We talked about that, concluding only that we’d need to play it by ear, taking advantage of any opportunities provided.
I mused out loud as to not knowing if this vendetta was personal or organizational in nature. Denise seemed to be playing a large role.
Ken spoke up. They were coordinating now with Rossman’s people in Europe. He’d brief his colleagues on the information he’d learned, but he felt it was largely a personal vendetta, albeit with organizational resources brought into play. He was somewhat surprised, as they usually kept quite a low profile. Hammond agreed, sounding grumpy again. The good news, if there was any, was that “they” had many enemies, including a number of foreign agencies who would be very happy to “take out the garbage.”
Hammond had been scowling as he spoke, but when he looked to Barbara and me, he smiled. Barbara and I had been holding hands, sitting next to each other. I took the opportunity to ask him what the hell I’d done -- I only had a vague history of things.
He smiled more and nodded. He told us about growing up with Alain, all the time they spent together as kids, and as teenagers. He remarked on how shaken Barbara’s father had been at the death of his first wife, and their child, and the way he threw himself into his work. He shook his head, telling us that while his father and Alain’s father had differences of opinion, the split should never have happened. But, thanks to me, that was over -- his organization was being folded back into Alain’s, producing a stronger, multi-national organization.
I asked about Bergman and Kot -- Hammond made a rude noise. Ben had been very pleased to learn that Alain was as unhappy with some of their antics as he was. Ben was in charge of North American operations now. Alain was telling Bergman and Kot that. They were welcome to continue, reporting to Ben, but he didn’t think they would.
He looked at Barbara and told us all he still thought she had more to do with it than we were letting on.
Barbara blushed. I told him the only thing she did was have Alain call me. I set up the meetings back-to-back, and she didn’t know about it until long after the fact.
Ben smiled and chuckled. When he’d first heard I was with Barbara, he’d figured he’d lost someone else. He was very happy both of us were still in the family.
I felt my ears turning a bit red. Had he guessed? Barbara chuckled, but didn’t say anything.
Ken said it was about time for them to leave. Ben told us he had people coming up from San Francisco and Los Angeles. We’d talk later in the day. I gave them the safehouse phone number and address.
I closed up the dojo. Only two cars left in the lot -- mine, and Barbara’s. Richards decided to ride with Barbara. We headed to school.
Another sin -- I called our administrative support at school and had her get a temporary parking permit so Barbara could park in the staff lots. She told me it would be on my desk by the time we got to school. I called Barbara, driving fifty feet behind me, and let her know.
I pulled into the staff lot; Barbara pulled in next to me. Where were Angela’s bags?
As Barbara walked over to me, I could see the teary-giddy look on her face. Uh-oh, some interesting conversations on the way over...
“I love you,” she said, throwing her arms around me.
“I love you,” I whispered in reply.
The three of us walked to my office. The parking tag was pinned to my chair. I handed it to Barbara, who said, “I’ll be right back,” and headed off.
I watched Angela give my office an analytical once-over.
“I take it Barbara told you?”
She smiled as she sat down. “About you proposing?”
I nodded.
She sat there silently, smiling.
“I’d like your professional opinion. Am I making a mistake?”
She sighed, pursing her lips a bit. “You’re not making a mistake.”
I sat, waiting for more.
Barbara returned. She looked at us. “What’s going on?”
I chuckled and shook my head. “Not much. I’m still trying to find out if I’m nuts for asking you to marry me, asking you to marry me so soon.”
Barbara closed the door and pulled up a chair.
“Roger,” Angela said in a calm voice, “You are a very resilient individual. You have made it through a number of very challenging events, and made it through comparatively unscathed. In part, your survival is due to events in your childhood; you could say that you were saved by scar tissue. Going forward, the two of you have a lot to offer each other. I hope you’ll invite me to the wedding.”
I relaxed a bit. It looked as if Barbara did the same.
“I’m still concerned at what’s been going on -- what they’ve been doing to me.”
Angela nodded. “We’ll explore that. But I’ll tell you again what I told you earlier -- these things haven’t been done to you as much as with you -- building on what you are. Reflect on what you’ve been through -- attempts to make you do things that go against who you are have failed. Others have produced very strong resonances in you.”
I looked to Barbara, and held out a hand. She came over to me, standing next to me, and held me. I moved my chair back from the desk, turning a bit. As she stepped between my legs, I wrapped my arms around her waist. She wrapped her arms around my head, holding me to her bosom. I let go, listening to her heart, feeling her warmth.
“Roger?” Angela said some time later.
Barbara and I let go of each other, but we didn’t move very far apart.
“Look at Barbara,” Angela told me.
I looked up to her face. “I love you,” I whispered, seeing the smile on her face, the loving glow.
“This is a very strong bond for both of you,” Angela told us.
We talked for a while. I told Barbara how much I loved to be held, to be in her arms, and to hold her. She told me how much she loved to hold me, and how it made her feel. We held each other again.
Angela suggested this would be a good starting point for us later on.
Barbara and I separated with a sigh.
“It’s about time for lunch, if you’re interested,” I told Barbara.
She held me again. I turned so I could see Angela. “What do we do if we see Samantha and Annie?”
Barbara squeezed me tighter.
Angela nodded. “We’ll play things by ear. I really would like to get them in a private location for a while.”
“You could use the safehouse,” I offered.
“Roger,” Angela said in a serious tone, “If we do meet, introduce us by first name only. Let things develop, but look to me for leads.”
“Such as?” I asked. Barbara gave me one more squeeze and stepped away.
Angela shook her head, then smiled. “I don’t know. That’s the exciting part -- it’s like you at your studio, as you flow through a crowd of people trying to attack you.”
Yes, I understood the look on her face. “Doctor Richards, I think we understand each other much more now.”
She nodded. “Yes. I should like to freshen up first.”
“I’ll show you,” Barbara said.
As Angela stood, I did as well. “Okay, meet back here, and we’ll head over.”
Outside the office, I went left and they went right. It’s always a good idea to pee before you head off into the unknown.
Rev 7/27/2003
Hand
By silli_artie@hotmail.com
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/artie/www
© Copyright 2003 by silli_artie@hotmail.com