Subject: {ASSM} Celestial
Reviews 355 February 13
From: Celeste801@aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d
Date: Wed, Feb 16, 2000 20:10
Message-ID: <22848asstr$950760601@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
Celestial Reviews 355
6; February 13, 2000
Note: A woman goes to her doctor and says she wants an operation
because her
vagina lips are much too large. She asks the doctor to keep the
operation a
secret, because she's embarrassed and doesn't want anyone to find
out. The
doctor agrees.
She wakes up from her operation and finds three roses carefully
placed beside
her bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor and says, "I
thought
I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"
"Don't worry," he says; "I didn't tell anybody. The first rose is
from me. I
felt bad because you went through this all by yourself. The second
one is
from my nurse. She assisted me with the operation, and she had the
operation
done herself."
"Who is the third rose from?" she asked.
"Oh," says the doctor, "that rose is from a guy upstairs in the burn
unit. He
wanted to thank you for his new ears!"
Second note: On the day of the wedding, Princess Sophie was getting
dressed,
surrounded by all her family, and she suddenly realized she had
forgotten to
get any shoes. Panic ensued, until her sister remembered she had a
pair of
white shoes from her own wedding; and so she lent them to Sophie for
the day.
Unfortunately, they were too small; and by the time the festivities
were
over, Sophie's feet were in agony. When she and Edward withdrew to
their
room, the only thing she could think of was getting her shoes
off.
The rest of the Royal Family crowded around the door to the bedroom
and they
heard what they expected: grunts, straining noises, and the
occasional
muffled scream. Eventually they heard Edward say "God, that was
tight."
"There," whispered the Queen. "I told you she was a virgin."
Then, to their surprise, they heard Edward say, "Right. Now for the
other
one."
More grunting and straining followed, and at last Edward said, "My
God! That
was even tighter!"
"That's my boy," said the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor!"
=====================
Celestial Reviews Index:
=====================
"The Blueblood Slut" by DrSpin (fall from grace) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=579855431
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=579855436
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=579869761
"Tending Bar" by Sidney Durham (empirical sex) 10, 9, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582048460
"Payback" by Ann Douglas (blackmail) 9, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=577073026
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=577294830
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=577135626
"Flights of Fancy" by Uther Pendragon (anticipating the first time)
10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=581367078
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=581367085
"Ruthie's Smile " by Jack of All Trades (romance) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=580178653
"My First Time" by Paris Waterman (first time) 10, 9, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=551039545
"From a chat room to this" by Deacon of Blue
(deacon_blue_2000@my-deja.com)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=564768988
"Mrs. Burns" by E.Z. Riter" (blackmail) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=581351651
"Watch Where You Put Your Hands" by DrSpin (flirtation) 10, 10,
10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=548985723
=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================
"Hotel Encounter" by the first elf (one-nighter). Homer: 9, 8, 6
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=548047676
"Tales of the Golden Mule" by Artie (mystery/romance). BillyG: 10, 8,
7
The Beginning
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563956882
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563956891
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563978728
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563759675
Miss Yellow
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565208417
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565220489
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565220500
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565220510
Searching for Miss Brown
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567601466
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567601476
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567601484
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567616092
Finding a New Life
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570340149
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570340134
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570340122
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570356833
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570356861
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570356845
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570378855
'Indigo' by Nicholas Urfe (sex in days of old). Admiral: 10, 10,
10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=525022331
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=525937222
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=529671916
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=539355456
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=558370029
"The Contractor's Seduction" by tonytony3 (wife watching). Nick: 9,
8, 5
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567569147
"The Boy Veteran" by Varangian (cliffhanging sex). Admiral: 8.5, 5,
5
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=559977538
"Annie's Revenge" by Deacon of Blue (true confession sex). Myers: No
rating.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569544955
"Desert Rendezvous" by Very Horni (fuck like an Egyptian). Mary:
Highly
recommended.
"Elegy" by Richard Rivers (sexy letter). Fiddler: 9, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=578495754
"Gotta Have That Beat" by Otzchiim (Petrarchan Sonnet). Fiddler: 10,
10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582932169
"Watch Where You Put Your Hands" by DrSpin (flirtatious
confrontation).
Fiddler: 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=548985723
"Dreams Come True" by Individa (young girl with older guy). Homer: 7,
7, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523123886
"Donna" by John Jameson (romantic coming of age). BillyG: 9.5, 10,
9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582220277
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582231870
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582231873
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582231875
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582243631
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582243636
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582243638
"Breakup" by Jack of All Trades (ending a relationship). Myers: No
rating.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=574799848
"Landscaping" by Felix Phile (loss of innocence). Nick: 10, 10, 9
"The Guy in the Aisle Seat" by Ficklesque (theatre sex). Anne: 8, 8,
9
=====================
Reposted Reviews:
=====================
* "Myrtle Beach Vacation" by tonytony3 (husband/wife fantasy).
Bitbard:
10,10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=577101254
* "Life Cycle of the Kaelen" by Artie (sci fi interplanetary
cultural
anthropology) 10, 9, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514931925
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514937748
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514937766
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514937785
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514937805
* "How I Met Pat and Julie" by Mark Aster (hot threesome) 10, 10,
10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=214116074
* "Reciprocity" by Jacques LeBlanc (action romance) 19, 9, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=502120717
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=502122891
* "Bill's Not-So-Secret Urge" by Admiral Cartwright (mm sex) 10, 10,
10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569533180
* "Joanne and Lexi" by Admiral Cartwright (first time ff sex) 10, 9,
9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=512488651
=====================
Here are the Reviews:
=====================
"The Blueblood Slut" by DrSpin (drspin@newsguy.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=579855431
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=579855436
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=579869761
If such a combination weren't extremely improbable, I would think
this was a
Victorian novel about sex written by Henry James. But if that were
true, I
would be staying awake through an entire Henry James story for the
first time
in my life!
A gentleman named Blue is a personal secretary for Jane, the wife of
an
important member of British society who also possesses remarkable
beauty.
Blue, of course, is deeply in love with his Mistress. He admires her
chastely
from afar, and he grows very close to her, since (in his position as
personal
secretary) he must practically get inside her head when he writes
things for
her or represents her to the public.
So Jane's husband and son both die in a plane crash. Then Lady Jane
discloses
to Blue that she has been a closet slut. Now that she is a widow, she
intends
to abandon her noble life and become a fulltime slut. Many a bad
story has
been based on that premise, but this author pulls it off effectively.
To find
out how the author accomplishes this, you'll have to read the
story.
Ratings for "The Blueblood Slut"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Tending Bar" by Sidney Durham (SidneyDurham@springmail.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582048460
The narrator is apparently a hooker who is discussing her last client
of the
night with Oscar the bartender. The client said he could have just
fucked her
at the bar, if she would have simply bent over; and nobody would
have
noticed. Then they put the concept to an empirical test.
This was an interesting little episode.
Ratings for "Tending Bar"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Payback" by Ann Douglas (ann_douglas@hotmail.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=577073026
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=577294830
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=577135626
I reviewed the "final" story written by Ann Douglas last week. This
one was
posted slightly before "After Hours." So even though Ann is gone
(temporarily, I hope), she'll live on for a little while, while I
wrap up a
few more of her stories.
Jim is an editor and photographer for his high school newspaper. He
stumbles
across the paper's faculty advisor having sex with the athletic
director in
his office after school. Jim snaps some clandestine, candid photos.
So Jim
develops the pictures, jacks off several times over them, and wonders
what
use he can make of the pictures.
The next day Miss Ferguson serves as substitute teacher in English
class and
gives Jim a hard-on in front of the whole class, much to the
amusement of the
other kids. English teachers often do that sort of thing. Embarrass
kids
unnecessarily in front of their peers, I mean
6; usually by
pointing out their
grammar errors in a way that undermines their self esteem.
How will Jim get even with this crib-robbing cock-teaser?
How, indeed.
Ratings for "Payback"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Flights of Fancy" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=581367078
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=581367085
Rick is 28 and in love with Leslie, who has not yet "come of age" in
the
state of New York. Instead of engaging her in kiddy-sex, they wait
for her
seventeenth birthday to come. In the interim, he amuses her and
builds/releases their sexual tension with sexy stories
6; flights
of fancy
about what the future holds for them.
Since Rick is a horse-breeder, these stories include a focus on
animal sex
6;
stallions with mares and things like that. But with "flights" and
"preludes"
the author gives us a tantalizing picture of their future life as
lovers.
The story can be described as advanced sex education or
prenuptial
counseling. It's a very interesting approach to a sex story, and I
doubt that
I have done it justice here.
I urge you to take a look at this story.
Ratings for "Flights of Fancy"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Ruthie's Smile" by Jack of All Trades
(tradesjackofall@hotmail.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=580178653
John lost his wife to cancer two years ago and has been mourning ever
since.
Now his sister has fixed him up on a blind date with Ruthie, whose
smile
gives us the title of this story. John resists, but succumbs.
It turns out that Ruthie has more than a smile going for her. Like,
there's a
wet dream behind that smile. It turns out that Ruthie has also lost a
spouse
to a tragic death.
If you're looking for torture, slavery, or even mild humiliation,
this story
will be the pits. It's a real romantic heart-warmer. I loved it.
Ratings for "Ruthie's Smile"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"My First Time" by Paris Waterman (the_panda@hotmail.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=551039545
First Dick {not his real name} participates in a cock measuring
contest at
the supermarket. You know, one of those deals where guys place their
love
rockets side by side on the butcher block and the judge declares one
or the
other to be the winner. Of course, a young lady who won him in the
lottery
helps get him ready for his moment in the sun.
Our hero measures in at 9.25 inches
6; give or take a millimeter.
He's also
"seven and one-eighth inches thick." I think that means
circumference. Since
I studied math in an American school, I don't know too much about
geometry;
but I don't think a penile diameter that size exists on a white boy.
Our hero
shares the championship with Black Bart
6; losing in length, but
winning in
girth.
So he becomes popular
6; a legend in his own time, in the
supermarket, at
least. For example, the sexy chick from the dairy section asks him
what time
her gets off. Actually, he gets off about ten minutes after he gets
off.
The story probably has some imperfections in the plot, but I was
somehow in
too good a mood to notice. The sex is really pretty hard. That was a
Freudian
slip
6; I meant the sex was pretty HOT. The author concludes by
offering us
the promise of a sequel
6; to be entitled "My Second Time."
Imagine that.
Ratings for "My First Time"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"From a chat room to this" by Deacon of Blue
(deacon_blue_2000@my-deja.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=564768988
The man and woman meet in a chat room and then get together for real
sex.
After an initial coupling, they devote the second day to the
"Science
Experiment," which consists of her spending the day walking around
with Ben
Wa balls inside her pussy. The Experiment is quite successful.
I enjoyed this story.
I am going to take this opportunity to digress. I often get raked
over the
coals by people who crap on me for being insensitive to the inner
dynamics
and benefits of bondage and slavery stories. I am often accused of
"picking
on lifestyles" instead of reviewing stories.
All I try to say in these infamous, derogatory reviews is that I
don't see
how being cruel to people or willingly accepting degradation are
signs of
love or sexiness. I have known probably 100 people who engage
really
enthusiastically in either humiliating their sexual partners or
wanting to be
humiliated; and 95 of them are genuine nut cases. Do I think these
people
have personality problems? Certainly.
That leaves the other five. These are reasonably sane people
6;
at least as
sane as I think I am
6; who superficially seem to be engaging in
cruelty or
degradation, but are really doing something quite different. They
are
apparently following what I have heard referred to as "the three
cardinal
rules of the BDSM community"
6; that the activity be "safe, sane,
consensual."
{I might add that I have a little trouble classifying as "consensual"
the
submissive activity of a person who is tricked into being degraded
for the
personal aggrandizement of a selfish sexual partner.}
All I ask is that when I read a story, it make sense to me as a
non-BDSMer.
If a person wants to go off and write a story that recites the
liturgy of
bdsm in such a way that only bdsm aficionados can see the beauty in
it, then
the author should say that and spare the rest of us the bullcrap
insinuation
that we are being intolerant when we say this activity sounds
dysfunctional.
It's kind of like when a non-Catholic reads a story about a
traditional
Catholic seeing meaning in the act of receiving communion. The
non-Catholic
is likely to be confused about the insistence that the person is
"eating the
body and blood of Jesus." That certainly sounds like cannibalism. A
Catholic
would understand the story, even if he/she disagreed with the
traditionalist
interpretation of the sacrament. But if the author intended the story
for an
audience of people not familiar with the Catholic doctrine of
transubstantiation and Real Presence, that author would either have
to (1) do
something to give the readers that framework, (2) expect the readers
to trot
off and acquire this information on their own, or (3) assume that
the
non-understanding readers will make little sense of that story.
What I am suggesting is that a very large number of people who are
writing
bondage, slavery, and humiliation stories are making the mistake of
thinking
their framework makes sense to more readers than is really the case.
I mean
this criticism in a kind way
6; I wish they would write their
stories in such
a way as to clarify to naïve people like me why this kind of
activity is sexy
or loving. {Of course, in the back of my mind, I suspect that if the
authors
took a close look at this activity, they would say, "Ooops! That's
not as
sexy as I though it was when I was reciting my liturgical formula
about
bondage or slavery."}
Do I think the "lifestyle" expressed in these stories sucks? Yes
6; unless
there is something more to that lifestyle than is expressed in those
stories.
I mean that in exactly the same sense that a person would say that
the
Catholic belief in the Real Presence is idiotic
6; unless the
person who
expresses that belief believes something different than what a lot of
honest
listeners/readers think that the person expressing that belief
means.
{Note that I have NOT suggested that people who fantasize about or
enjoy
reading stories about things they would not actually do are leading
a
dysfunctional lifestyle. That's a different matter completely. All I
am doing
is commenting on why I think the stories are bad. I am saying nothing
at all
about the lifestyles of people who read or write these stories.}
I have no problem at all with the bdsm expressed in the present
story. I
think the idea of building anticipation by withholding sexual
pleasure and
controlling a person in a dominating way that eventually leads that
person to
great heights of pleasure makes a great deal of sense. The reason I
gave this
story less than perfect ratings is because I think the story could
have been
written a little better
6; by clarifying various aspects of the
plot and
making the character development a little more authentic.
As a final comment, I'll reiterate that I don't have to admire the
behavior
expressed in a story in order to enjoy it. The next story I review is
about a
young boy who blackmails and seduces an older woman. I don't
recommend this
activity at all, but the author presents it in a way that enables me
to see
why the participants would enjoy it. The presentation enables me to
suspend
my preferences about the way the world should be and to enjoy the
story
without having to deal with the little voice in the back of my mind
saying,
"This doesn't even make sense." That's all I ask from stories that
display or
even endorse behaviors and values that differ from my own. I think
that's a
reasonable expectation.
This is actually a pretty good story. {This author does NOT make the
mistake
against which I ranted in the preceding paragraphs.}
Ratings for "From a chat room to this"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Mrs. Burns" by E.Z. Riter (ezriter@pdq.net).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=581351651
The teenager has been dating a neighbor girl his own age, but it is
her
mother he really lusts after. The mom is not all that excited about
the
prospect, but the boy has access to certain information, the
disclosure of
which might be embarrassing or even disconcerting to the older woman,
and
hence she decides that cooperation is the better part of valor.
Actually, it turns out that Mom had a fairly strong hankering to get
fucked
to begin with. All she needed was a nudge to get her started.
The young lad is very persuasive. He has skills that might make him
an
effective lawyer some day.
Now here's the surprise: there's a lot more to the story than what
I've told
you so far
6; lots of interesting twists and turns in the
plot.
I think some things moved a little too quickly. For example,
blackmail really
doesn't work this simply in real life.
But it's a nice little fantasy.
Ratings for "Mrs. Burns"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Watch Where You Put Your Hands" by DrSpin
(Neil.Dibbs@PARL.CHIEFMIN.nt.gov.au).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=548985723
Back on November 15 of last year Dr. Spin posted this first
"uncommon
behavior story." Since that time this author has posted several other
good
stories. I pride myself in having had the insight to set this story
aside at
that time, even though I have not got around to reading it until
nearly three
months later.
This story is written in a redundant, meandering style
6; which
is fine, since
the narrator is slightly intoxicated.
Anyway, Uncle Mike (the desultory drunk) wanders into the kitchen,
where he
stops himself just before he begins to make unwarranted manual
overtures to
(i.e., grope) the breasts of his friend's nubile and potentially
libidinous
daughter, who is taken aback and asks him what he is doing. Gaining
some
composure, he says that he meant no harm: her bra simply must have
magnets.
Of course, magnets attract specific metals, not hands; and she isn't
wearing
a bra anyway.
Alas! We have a contradiction here. Next thing we know, our
amiable
dipsomaniac is trying to guess the young lady's bust size, and then
he tries
to read it from the label on her bra
6; which we just established
was
non-existent. Such contradictions could be lethal; but, as I said,
the guy is
already five or six sheets to the wind, and the sexual tension is
developing
nicely in spite of apparent paradoxes. I think there's a guy
named
Shroedinger who has a theory on breast and bras of this sort. Or at
least one
of my classmates thought he did.
Well, it turns out the young lady had seen Our Hero humping her
mother
several years ago. This experience instilled in her bosom grisly
fantasies
6;
er, girlish fantasies
6; and expectations about sex that have not
yet been
fulfilled.
The rest is inevitable. Our Hero sends her home without fucking her.
Yeah,
right. Well, you'll have to read the story to find out. It's a very
sexy
story.
Ratings for "Watch Where You Put Your Hands"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================
"Hotel Encounter" by the first elf (elf-01@elf-11.freeserve.co.uk).
Guest
review by Homer Vargas.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=548047676
"Hotel Encounter" purports to be and reads like a real incident. Told
from
the POV of a man who has checked into a hotel, it recounts the visit
to his
room of the pretty receptionist. The story contains some
interesting
internal monologue as the couple couples. The description is quite
detailed,
more so than needed to move the action along, giving the story a
"how-to"
feel. The story, like most incidents of life, ends without coming to
a
conclusion. This makes for a very realistic feel, but for a
somewhat
unsatisfying "story." To paraphrase Borges, "Reality may elude
the
obligation to be interesting; stories may not."
I have communicated with the author who swears he really did make
this all
up. I believe him and my admiration rose. He fooled me.
There are a few punctuation problems which distract but do not
seriously
impede comprehension. Still, an outside proofreader could have
helped.
Ratings for "Hotel Encounter"
Athena 9
Venus 8
Homer 6
"Tales of
the Golden Mule" by Artie (artie@netgate.net). Guest Review by BillyG
(hayden@mindless.com).
The Beginning
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563956882
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563956891
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563978728
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563759675
Miss Yellow
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565208417
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565220489
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565220500
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565220510
Searching for Miss Brown
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567601466
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567601476
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567601484
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567616092
Finding a New Life
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570340149
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570340134
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570340122
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570356833
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570356861
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570356845
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570378855
First, "Tales of the Golden Mule" is not a short story; it's a tome,
a long,
long tale that comprises more than 144,000 words over almost 19,000
lines.
It doesn't lend itself to a casual read.
Second, it's not easily characterized as a story type, save that it's
not
primarily a sexy story. There are sex scenes in the story, but in
many ways,
they're incidental to a bigger story. One might think of it as a
romance
wrapped in a mystery. The protagonist's wife, Nancy, was cheating
with
another male, John. They're killed straight away in an auto accident.
This
pulls the cuckold couple, Bill and Nancy together and into a slowly
evolving
tapestry of deception and mystery surrounding the deceased husband's
many
affairs and financial dealings.
The story is rich in detail, a bit more than I can easily digest, for
some of
it foreshadows important developments but more appear to serve as
filler or
story culs-de-sac. I found myself taking notes to keep track of the
players.
The pace is leisurely, not-quite rambling, but I often wondered
where's this
going?
Bill, the protagonist, is a good man, warm-hearted and almost pure of
heart.
He doesn't even drink coffee. So it's a little jarring when he his
new
girlfriend appear to have a strong attraction to gasses like nitrous
oxide
and halothane. The author speaks knowledgeably of the hypnotic
effects of
nitrous and oxygen mixtures but drifts into science fiction when
speaking of
halothane. A whiff of an anesthetic gas will not incapacitate any
<instantly> = no matter how powerful, for it to have effect on
the central
nervous system it must be absorbed and make the route to the lungs,
heart and
then the body - the so-called circulation time. Admittedly, that's
a
niggling point.
I think there's a very good story buried in here but the unearthing
is a
chore.
Ratings for "Tales of the Golden Mule"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8 (Too long and slow)
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 7 (It's be a 9 if shorter)
'Indigo' by Nicholas Urfe (nickurfe@yahoo.com). Guest Review by
Admiral
Cartwright.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=525022331
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=525937222
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=529671916
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=539355456
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=558370029
The title character does not even tell the reader who she is - and
even then,
not quite - until very near the end of this mini-novel, based
somewhere in a
century long past. In fact, the majority of her 'scratches on
parchment' are
billed as prologue; her actual story almost an afterthought with
several
aborted beginnings and no true end.
A woman who would be a man (for reasons hinted, but not entirely
explained),
born of prostitution, almost a madam but with her charges kept as her
own,
Indigo 'rescues' two young girls from a father poor enough to sell
one
daughter but, as if to lessen his guilt, not both.
That which she teaches 'her girls' begins in her own guilt, following
a
tragic turn; in turn, it teaches Indigo new things about people she
thought
she knew even as she awaits her impending demise - again unexplained,
but at
which a reader can wage a fair guess.
Urfe is flawless in written word, well steeped in the period; the
sex,
graphic, but without unnecessary linger; the story, gripping, if not
entirely
satisfying in its resolve.
That, however, appears to be the author's intent.
A warning: the girls' father does not accept the circumstances and
two lives
are lost in the fray. Indigo's first act with one girl amounts to
rape. Some
drugs later lead the sisters to share carnal knowledge; but the scene
as
presented is not entirely NC.
Also, this story is quite long; for those with the requisite
patience,
though, it is a tale worthy of your attention. And of mine.
Ratings for 'Indigo':
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Admiral (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Contractor's Seduction" by Tonytony3. Review by Nick (e-mail
nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567569147
This is about how a mans reaction to the idea, and then the fact, of
another
man screwing his wife. The man in question is a contractor hired to
do some
building work, and of course he gets hot and sweaty, and needs to use
the
washroom to clean up. The wife sabotages the downstairs washroom so
he has to
wash upstairs in their bedroom, where the husband is lying await,
weapon in
hand! Of course one thing leads to another and I need say no
more.
This is actually very lovingly written with the writer is a clear
enthusiast
for his subject. The only problem I have with this is that the idea
of
watching my wife screw another man fills me with the kind of horror
reserved
for the idea of drinking beer laced with ground glass. The initial
experience
might be fun, but the consequences are lethal.
Still, if you are into wife watching, this one is a must.
My marks for this are:
Athena (technique) 9
Venus (plot/character) 8
Appeal to me 5
"The Boy Veteran" by Varangian (kesper@nls.net). Guest Review by
Admiral Cartw
right)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=559977538
I've been accused once of being in "an all-fired hurry." That
particular
story, however, was designed as a short stroke piece.
Here, I spent the entire time wondering which Reader's Digest editor
had
gotten hold of Varangian's latest. It reads like a novel, but one
written
with all the care of someone who had only the time to write one
chapter and
knew it going in.
It was with a wry grin, therefore, that I read the following
passage:
"Slow down, baby. We have time. Do you have an overnight pass?"
"I have a weekend pass."
"Oooh," Anna squealed in delight. "We have the whole weekend..."
In the end, I like a good cliffhanger as much as anyone; but I need
to care
enough about the characters or the plot development to want to see
the
resolution.
I don't particularly care to see the resolution.
Ratings for 'The Boy Veteran':
Athena (technical quality): 8.5
Venus (plot and character): 5
Admiral (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Annie's Revenge" by Deacon of Blue (deacon_blue_2000@my-deja.com).
Guest
review by Dave Myers.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569544955
This is one of those "true account" stories. Sometimes these work on
their
own, with a sort of voyeuristic, I'm-reading-your-diary appeal. Other
times,
the format is a bit self-indulgent, and doesn't fit the erotic story
genre at
all. So, is it fair to critique the *writing* of a "true account"?
I'll try
to address this, with due perspective.
I have to say, I much prefer such accounts when they resemble the
style (not
the content, god help us) of a Penthouse Forum-esque confessional.
There is
sometime to be said for building up the reader into thinking they are
getting
a special look inside your life. When it's just laid out there
without any
dressing up, well, the reader stops feeling so special. With that
said,
Annie's Revenge doesn't try to be coy at all, but just strings the
events
together:
(example)
>From the Video store we went to a grocery store, Dave's the
typical bachelor, empty fridge, and very pitiful house keeping,
so I aimed to lull him into false sense of domesticity.
Now, I'm not going to sit here and suggest that Annie'd be better off
making
stuff up instead of writing things out this way, but maybe she could
take a
page from Mark Twain. Clemens might have claimed that his jumping
frog story
was as true as the day is long, and it might even have been based on
a little
fact. But it's certainly the case that it was a lot more enjoyable to
read
because he spruced things up with some mostly harmless poetic
license.
I'm neither suggesting that writers of true accounts be judged on
wholely
different nor wholely identical criteria than authors of erotic
fiction. But
here's a gentle suggestion: A lot of would-be true accounters might
consider
a little Mark Twain-ing of their life histories before posting
them.
As for 'plot', a large part of the story involves Annie getting Dave
to
become a good friends with a sex toy of the "for-him" variety. That's
pretty
cool on it's own, as few stories really explore this to a large
degree. As a
pure d/s story, it ranks pretty tame indeed, though. Thus, the story
tag of
the original text might be misleading for some people.
Unfortunately, I have to say that poor punctuation and proofing
really made
it harder for me to enjoy this piece (see the excerpt above for an
example).
Although the author claims to have had collaborative help and outside
readers
that offered input, a lot of things slipped by. I was staring at
the
punctuation marks too often, removing commas here and there, and
trying to
decode the authors' symbols meant to designate a change of narrator.
In
general, it's better to just tell the reader straight out "Ok, now...
Dave's
point of view:" rather than try to use html-like markup meant to make
it seem
less abrupt. There is no easy way to do it if you insist on changes
in p.o.v.
{No numerical rating.}
"Desert Rendezvous" by Very Horni (VeryHorni). Guest Review by Mary
Jorsay
Gandmar (maryjg@finebody.com).
Very Horni returns to the newsgroups after a year with a terrific new
story.
Montana is a professor of archaeology (visiting professor at Harvard,
yet!)
and, in some Middle Eastern city (Cairo?), encounters a sultry, sexy
siren
who promises to take him to the tomb of the Caliph of Muzareh. They
arrange
to meet outside the city at dusk, at an old oasis - hence the title.
What
follows is passionate, steamy, turbo-charged sex.
With enviable brevity, the author creates a stunning atmosphere,
almost
cinematic in its lucidity but without tedious descriptive paragraphs.
One
feels the heat, the sense of openness and there are vistas that,
unstated,
linger in mind. At the same time, the author succeeds in giving
the
relationship between the two some real substance and depth. These are
not
mere copulating automatons - they are people, they have a past, they
share a
bond, they have feelings. All this comes through with great economy.
Best of
all, there's a streak of wry humor in the narrative and that gives it
a
gentleness, a human touch. We have here a talented author, skilled in
her (or
is it his?) craft, not obsessed with giving us long and dreary
histories of
the characters. This is what a short story should be - a slice of
time,
caught au moment critique and rendered effortlessly in broad
brushstrokes.
Not to be missed.
{No numerical rating.}
"Elegy" by Richard Rivers (richard_rivers@hotmail.com). Guest review
by
Fiddler
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=578495754
Richard Rivers seems to concentrate on stories of sexual encounters
between
Asian women and American men. He writes a series involving Yoko, who
came to
the USA from Japan, and her US-born daughter, Michiko.
This story, which stands alone, is a letter from Yoko to her lover,
Brian.
It describes a sexy encounter on a crowded subway train. She uses
that
encounter as a springboard to describe past encounters
with Brian and with others. (One of these is Mf petting, unmentioned
in RR's
story codes.) The letter was enjoyably arousing.
Guest vocabulary lesson:
An elegy is a poem in praise of the dead or otherwise in a
mournful
tone. This story isn't. As the subway becomes an "El" train near
the end, I suspect that the title is a pun.
The epistolary style provides two advantages. The wandering
stream-of-consciousness narrative, which could be annoying if
addressed to
us, adds verisimilitude to the letter form. People do write their
lovers in
streams of consciousness.
Also, any errors or oddities can be attributed to Yoko rather than
the
author. One oddity involves paragraphing. Some paragraphs are
separated
from others by blank lines, others are indented two spaces and not
separated.
I think that the strangers rubbing against each other in
"complimentary
rhythm" was an error, though the rhythm of the man might be a
compliment to
the attractiveness of the woman. A "complement," that which fills up
what
the other leaves out, might be what was meant. However, that doesn't
quite
fit the situation either.
So the Athena score might grade Yoko, rather than the author.
Ratings for "Elegy":
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Fiddler (appeal to this reviewer): 10
"Gotta Have That Beat" by Otzchiim (otzchiim@aol.com). Reviewed by
Fiddler.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582932169
Amid all the "free verse" and broken-line prose that are posted in
ASSM as
poetry, Otzchiim has given us a Petrarchan sonnet. It rhymes, it
scans, it
offends (at least me).
Two strangers meet and are irresistably attracted. They find a (very)
little
privacy. They come together. All of this is expressed in fairly
poetic (if
remarkably modern, "from where") language until the last line. There,
the
author introduces a rank
crudity.
As I said, he offended me. I think he intended to. And the last
score
reports on the effectiveness of the story.
Ratings for "Gotta Have That Beat"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Fiddler (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Donna" by John Jameson (j_jameson1780@mindless.com). Guest Review by
BillyG
(hayden@mindless.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582220277
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582231870
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582231873
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582231875
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582243631
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582243636
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582243638
"Donna" might best be described as a romantic coming of age at the
University
of Missouri in the early 70's. The story's protagonist, Mike, as a
freshman
becomes a co-student director of birth control counseling center
along with a
sophomore, Barb Gruener. But it's another freshman who catches his
eye, an
attractive brunette named Donna. She is characterized as a cute,
13-year-old
Shirley Temple from the neck up and a major sex bomb from the neck
down, but
with a personality of an open and friendly, innocent virgin. Once
again we're
given the opportunity not to judge a book by its cover.
This story is by no means a slam-bam quickie. To the contrary, it's a
long
tale with a file size of 71K and 13,000 words which, the author tells
us in a
concluding note, "Donna, Mike, and Barb will return. Their story is
just
beginning."
"Donna" is rich in detail and that attention initially is centered on
Mike
and Donna's attempts to find a place to get it on. The assumption -
correct
as it turns out - is that they will. I mean, after all, this is a sex
story,
right? Still, it takes some considerable effort before they're
successful in
finding a place where they're free to assume the horizontal.
Another dimension is added to the story when we discover that Donna
is
friends with Barb. Thereafter direction of the story is foreshadowed,
but
the route is nonetheless charming to read and the sex is hot.
Clearly, the story can be viewed as complete and stand that way.
That
there's more to come adds a touch of excitement and expectation to
this
near-vanilla tale.
Ratings for "Donna"
Athena (technical quality) : 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Dreams Come True" by Individa (individa@aol.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523123886
In "Dreams Come True" Diana, a mature-beyond-her-years high school
girl, with
a crush on forty-six-year-old Mark finally gets the courage to tell
him.
Since this is a dream come true, he responds that he has been waiting
for her
to grow up. Now he doesn
0;t have to wait any longer. And he
doesn
0;t. As you
might guess, he is a wonderful lover.
In addition to the minimal plot (even a romance needs a little more
drama
than the discovery of a mutual passion), there is far too much
telling and
not enough showing of Diana
0;s thoughts. "Diana had had several
lovers before,
none of which led her to extremely satisfying relationships." The sex
is
hot, but the dialogue is a little stilted. "Oh, you're nearing your
crisis,
my darling, I want to see you come with my cock inside of you...you
know
I've had a vasectomy, so it's good...because when you come all over
my cock,
I think I'm going to coat your insides with my cum."
Still, there are vivid scenes and turns of phrase that show a
promising
author. She (I
0;m assuming) could craft her plot and language
better, but I
hope she will post again. Read this and you can say "I knew her
when."
Ratings for "Dreams Come True"
Athena 7
Venus 7
Homer 9
"Breakup" by Jack of All Trades"(tradesjackofall@hotmail.com ). Guest
review
by Dave Myers.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=574799848
"Breakup" is a well written story that draws out a single encounter
and
delivers its punch. From the beginning, you'll essentially be able to
guess
the arc of the plot, which isn't a bad thing in this case, but
heightens the
expectations. The premise is simple: a young guy about to head off to
school
is working on extracting himself from a relationship. But his
girlfriend sics
her feminine charms on him, and he is helpless to resist. She is,
predictably
pissed when his true intentions are revealed-- after the fact.
The story tells itself so much better than I just did that you just
need to
read it. Great short piece by an author I've not heard of before.
Hope to see
more -and longer- from him.
{No numerical rating}
"Landscaping" by Felix Phile (felixphile@hotmail.com). Guest review
by Nick
(e-mail nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk).
Technically, this story is about paedophilia, since the girl in
question is
13. She is, however, a big 13, and the writer makes it perfectly
clear that
she has the build of a fully grown woman. So why, in a story, should
the
writer need to make her so young? What are the buttons he is trying
to press?
The girl in question, has the naivete of a 13 year old, and we are
told how
she tries to attract the young student, who has been hired to do her
garden,
in order to gain experience of the world.
The story has a great deal of background and depth, and way she
overdresses
at first, and then, taking the students advice and downplays it a
bit, is
quite charming. This has to be offset, slightly by the fact that she
is
wearing a pad in readiness for her period, but then this adds to the
depth.
So the button being pressed, is a rite of passage/loss of innocence
one,
rather than 'hey, aren't little kids great to bonk!' much to my
relief.
A good story.
Athena(Technical) 10
Venus (Plot/character) 10
Appeal 9
"The Guy in the Aisle Seat" by Ficklesque@aol.com
review by Anne747 (Anon747@aol.com)
There's little I can say about this story without giving too much
away. (So,
stop now if you don't want to know.) On the surface, a couple spend
yet
another boring night at the movies. While Bob is engrossed in the
film,
Alice makes a new friend. It turns out that Alice's friend isn't new,
and
she's acting out a fantasy. I just can't believe that Bob is this
brain-dead. As far as fantasies go though, a dark theatre is probably
a
common one. It is a fast, hot, sexy story. In my younger years I
think I
preferred drive-ins though ;)
Ratings for "The Guy in the Aisle Seat"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Anne747 (appeal to reviewer): 9
=====================
Reposted Reviews:
=====================
* "Myrtle Beach Vacation " by tonytony3 (tonytony3@juno.com). Guest
review by
BitBard (bitbard@newsguy.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=577101254
Hmm. Here's an interesting dilemma. Celeste has sent me a story to
review
that is complete and intact yet is basically unreadable because it
uses smart
quotes that come across as really weird characters on the screen. Now
ASSM
and Dejanews have this story, but only the first part and in a
browser the
story is readable (though I still hate smart quotes). Since the
second
part is unpublished at the time of this review I will review the
first part
only. This is not a problem since the first part can stand on it's
own as a
complete story.
Dotty and Bob are married. Dotty has just taken a company
sponsored
assertiveness training course. Dotty is a new woman -- asking things
and
doing things quite unlike her usual demure self. One of the things
she asks
is if Bob has ever screwed around. Wow! Talk about assertive! Well
since
their marriage is so solid they both admit to coming close but never
doing
the deed. Then they describe in detail what happened.
Bob had been sitting in the airport with a business acquaintance and
her
husband when the woman drags his hand up her thigh and lo and behold
her
husband's right there too! Bob begged off and ran home to Dotty. Now
Dotty
got the ol' sexual harassment at the office treatment and got quite a
handful
(if I were the guy I'da sued for sexual harassment for leaving me
hanging
like that.) So then Dotty and Bob go and act out Dot's encounter and
have
heaps of fun. So much fun in fact that they begin to wonder what to
do about
acting out Bob's encounter? That, dear reader, is a question for part
two.
You'll be much better off reading this story in your browser,
following the
links above than in your newsreaders. The smart quotes make the story
very
unreadable in native Usenet form. If you do read this story in your
browser
I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. The sexy talk and
re-enactment
between husband and wife is very hot and quite provocative. The two
men one
women element will add a touch of the taboo but in part one it
shouldn't
cause any serious problems for guys (or gals) who like things
one-on-one.
Ratings for "Myrtle Beach Vacation "
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Bitbard (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Life Cycle of the Kaelen" by Artie (artie@netgate.net).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514931925
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514937748
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514937766
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514937785
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514937805
{Artie has posted a revised version of this story. I haven
0;t had
time to
review the new version, but I am reposting my original review. It is
possible
that some parts of this review are no longer valid.}
This is a long story
6; over 46,000 words. If you're looking for
a high rate
of titillation per 1000 words, this story may not be your best bet.
However,
if you are interested in a complex, detailed science fiction story
with some
good sex thrown in, this may be the story for you.
This story is written as a dry scientific report submitted by
interplanetary
explorers. Dale and Ellen are husband and wife, a planetary ecologist
and a
cultural anthropologist, who have traveled to a distant planet to
study the
culture there as participant observers.
They discover a matriarchal society where lovemaking is glorious. The
word
"delirium" is used a lot. It is a Utopian world, where large insects
interact
with the natives to provide sexual pleasure as well as to control
other
emotions and cognitive functions.
The sex occurs in the person-to-person mode: the people don't fuck
the bugs.
This process is managed through a sort of pheromone-based
classical
conditioning that would make Pavlov role over on his metronome. At a
certain
point we begin to wonder who's controlling whom.
Having sex is with the kaelen is kind of like driving a really great
car with
stick shift. First the kaelen move the participants into a comfort
zone, then
they shift to passion, and then to whatever seems like a good idea at
the
moment, before eventually easing them into a restful sleep. The
amount of
power and control the kaelen exercise is both considerable and
interesting.
Then there is also a swarm of moths with hallucinogenic aphrodisial
powers.
Our researchers immerse themselves in the culture, and a good time is
had by
all.
The story is not merely unbridled hedonism; it also strives to
emulate a
serious anthropological study. This is an interesting format, but it
also has
the undesirable effect of sometimes slowing the action down a little
too
much. In addition, although the story reveals wondrous things, it
sometimes
doesn't build the reader's anticipation of these revelations as
effectively
as it could.
Overall, this is a good story
6; if you have some time to spend
on it and if
you want a little more than continuously arousing descriptions of
sex.
Ratings for "Life Cycle of the Kaelen"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "How I Met Pat and Julie" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=214116074
{Mark Aster is reposting this whole series. I doubt that I'll be able
to
repost all the reviews. However, I thought that reviewing this first
story
might help give this series the attention the stories deserve.}
"The younger of the Allen sisters soaped my stomach and thighs with a
warm
washcloth while the elder, lying naked on the bed, masturbated lazily
with a
blue dildo, and told erotic stories in between orgasms. My cock had
been
hard in a relaxed comfortable way for some time, and the gentle
rubbing of
the rough wet cloth on my thighs and balls was driving me slowly
crazy." So
starts the pilot episode of Mark Aster's "My Friends the Allens".
The "Allen Sister" stories are loosely connected. I understand there
are now
about 20 of them. There is every indication that there will be at
least 20
more. I hope so. The combined stories do not add up to a novel; the
best
comparison I can make is a sitcom. But since the stories are
predominantly
erotic rather than funny, perhaps a better analogy would be a porno
version
of an American soap opera. What I mean by this is that readers can
start at
any point in the series and even skip episodes without losing the
continuity
of the story. While doing so, readers can still enjoy both each
separate
story and the combined series, while developing a sort of friendship
with the
characters.
The unnamed Hero/Narrator of these stories is a typical soap stud. If
he
lived in Salem or Aramid, he would be John Black or Bo Brady; but
instead of
having two middle aged women fighting over his favors or wrestling
over which
bride he should keep, our Hero is resigned to the quiet existence
of
servicing his two lovely friends, while the three of them unselfishly
extend
their favors into the world around them. While John and Bo frown a
lot, Our
Hero groans even more. Like John, he has no obvious means of earning
a
living; he just accompanies the girls to expensive resorts or attends
parties
at exclusive mansions and pleasantly groans and reciprocates ad
infinitum.
He is pleasantly insatiable, the kind of boytoy that even Madonna and
her
Evil Twin working as a tag team could not exhaust.
Logically, I should have read this story first in the series; but I
didn't
know it existed until now. Finding it was like coming across the
pilot story
for a sitcom I had grown to love. The Friendly Threesome were quite
at home
in my mind's eye as they fucked and sucked their way through this
initial
episode. It's a really hot one. Somehow I'm glad I read it out of
order; it
was almost as much fun as the time I found the John Black FAQ on the
World
Wide Web.
Ratings for "How I Met Pat and Julie"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Reciprocity" by Jacques LeBlanc (fader2011@my-deja.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=502120717
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=502122891
Sam Goldberg has just rescued from a fate worse than death a young
woman who
turns out to be movie star Natalie Portman. The now deceased thugs
who were
going to rape and probably kill her were members of a neo-Nazi hate
group. In
fact, they were going to make a snuff movie with her as the star.
After he kills her tormentors, Sam and Natalie listen to Billy Joel
music and
discuss Heinlein novels. Then they eat Hummus and tabouli salad in
pita
pockets, which Sam prepares. This guy is a Renaissance knight in
shining
armor. Then they discuss her movie career. Then, amidst references to
James
Thurber and Georgia O'Keefe, they make love. The sexual action is
pretty
good, and the set-up within the plot makes it even better.
All the while I was reading this story, I was wondering, "What if the
bad
guys have the phone tapped?" You see, I was waiting for some REAL
reciprocity. As it is, this story is sort of fan fiction about a guy
who
saves the life of a famous person and she does him the favor of
sleeping with
him. That's not really reciprocity. I suspect there is more
reciprocity down
the line somewhere in future chapters.
A natural question is whether the vigilante action in this story is
legal.
The answer is no, it is not. If one of your friends or loved ones is
raped
and murdered, you are supposed to let the police track down the
culprits and
arrest them. However, you are allowed to offer a reward and hire
private
detectives to obtain information that might be helpful to the police.
{This
is what O.J. Simpson has done to find the real killer of his former
wife.
O.J. is not allowed to track down and kill the real killer, since
this would
constitute suicide or some similar crime.} On the other hand, this
sort of
vigilante action is entirely permissible within the rules of
Hollywood and
pulp fiction. If the author wants to write a more realistic story, he
should
either build a better rationale for the justifiable assassinations or
have
the noble assassin continue to maintain his anonymity from the people
who are
likely to prosecute him.
In a sense, this author has "blown it" by asking for a review of a
story that
is not finished. I rarely have time to review a story a second or
third time,
and it's probably best to wait till the whole thing is posted
before
requesting a review. I understand that authors want and need
feedback, but
authors also have to understand that there are a lot of stories out
there.
It's neither practical nor fair to give repeated reviews to just a
few
stories.
But on the other hand, this review will give this story some of the
publicity
it deserves. I certainly recommend taking a look at it.
Ratings for "Reciprocity"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "Bill's Not-So-Secret Urge" by Admiral Cartwright
(admcartwright@my-Deja.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569533180
I don't review a lot of stories that deal with male homosexuality.
The reason
is simple: I'm a heterosexual female; and if I am going to be
motivated at
least partly by what turns me on, male homosexuality themes just
aren't
likely to do the trick. So I usually just go about my life, ignoring
mm
stories
6; except that this time the author mailed it to me and
asked me to
review it for the Grand Opening of a.s.s.m. Oh well, que sera
sera.
The story focuses on a man exchanging sexual favors with another man
in a
booth where they are watching a porn video of guys having sex. While
he's
engaged in this activity, he reflects back over the major milestones
in his
sex-life with other men.
I didn't find this to be a turn-on, but I did find it to be very
interesting.
A reasonable goal in reading this story would be to find out "how gay
guys do
it." I really don't know how well this story helped me achieve that
goal.
After all, I just reviewed a story about heterosexual couples
coating
themselves with peach juice and switching partners during an orgy. I
doubt
that anything very close to that has happens to the average
heterosexual, and
I suspect that most gay guys don't have sex in booths at video stores
either.
The guys in this story have cocks that range from 6.0 inches to 11.5
inches.
This leads me to believe that the author errs on the side of the
sensational
6; or at least the fascinating.
Anyway, the story deals with several interesting ideas that certainly
must
influence male homosexual activity, including the likelihood of
getting Aids
more likely by swallowing.
Even if the story is comprised of wild exaggerations, it had a tone
of
authenticity that kept me interested. If you enjoy stories about
male
homosexual activity, you may like this one even more than I did.
Ratings for "Bill's Not-So-Secret Urge"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Joanne and Lexi" by Admiral Cartwright
(admcartwright@starfleet.hotmail.com)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=512488651
Joanne's best friend for fifteen years has just confessed she's
bisexual- and
attracted to HER. So what we have here is a vivid description of the
first
sexual encounter between the two, which occurs right after Lexi has
revealed
her interest to her friend.
The sexual activity is extremely hot. There's not much plot, but then
there's
not supposed to be much plot. If watching a sexy woman do it for the
first
time with another woman who is really good at it sounds interesting
to you,
you'll enjoy this little story.
Ratings for "Joanne and Lexi"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
<end>
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