This short story is an entry in the 2003 Soc.Sexuality.Spanking Summer Short Story Contest and is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice. The author would appreciate your comments
Category: Mini-saga
School Day in 6-6-6
By
Y Lee Coyote <YLeeCoyote@juno.com>
|
School bus.
VP commands: "OFFICE, after dismissal, Collins."
Howls of pain ...
|
The End
© Copyright A.I.L., 13 June 2003
Reviews
SirHal <janhal(at)midsouth(dot)rr(dot)com>
This is my first time to read this type of story. I found the story to be interesting. I bet writing this type of story is a real challenge. With all of that said, I think somewhere in the story we should know the sex of the person getting the swats. I look forward to additional works in the same style.
Jessie
This verse meets the challenge of telling a complete story in fifty words quite well. And I enjoyed the buildup to the spanking; creating suspense within the limits of the story form must have been a challenge.
Pablo <pablo(dot)stubbs(at)newsguy(dot)com>
This feels like an exercise in compression, rather than verse. There's certainly a narrative in there, but it's really about the everydayness of the day that's described, and that leaves it undistinguished. What's lacking is either some beauty in the language used, or some vivid insight into the situation. Even haiku, because of their shortness, live or die on the quality of imagery or insight, and this doesn't really reach high enough.