This short story is an entry in the 2001 Soc.Sexuality.Spanking Summer Short Story Contest and is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice. The author would appreciate your comments
Category: Adult
Miss Airhostess 2001
By
Valerie Meilong <VMeilong1@excite.com>
The three of us stared at the finalists. "Look at Miss Lufthansa," I said. "What a cute bit of callipygian rondure."
"What the hell does that mean?" said the South African judge.
I sighed. "George, there are times when you are an ass. With ignorance like that, you'll be the butt of William Samuel Harris's stupid jokes. I will not take up your time, dear boy, with educating you. Vita brevis est. Life is brief, and you might pass away before I had finished. But even so, I will tell you. Callipygian rondure means that she has a magnificent round ass."
"Hehehe! Ask not what you can do for that bottom, ask what that bottom can do for you," said the Mexican judge smugly. "L O friggin L," I snarled. "I can recognise chiasmus as well as the next man. Smartass!"
"What do we ask them now? God knows how we choose. They're all as good as each other," they said together like a chorus.
"Well, someone's got to be selected as Miss Air Hostess of 2001. We've got the list down to three. They're all good at the charm, they all can talk smoothly, and they've all got gorgeous bodies."
We thought for a few moments. Then I had an idea. "I tell you what," I said, "Let's give them an initiative test." We discussed my idea, and eventually agreed on what we'd ask them. We called them in one at a time.
"Miss Air China," I said. "Assume that your plane has crashed on a remote mountain. Only six men are alive besides you. After a week, you hear them plotting. They plan to pull down your panties and smack your bottom. What do you do?"
"No ploblem," said Miss Air China. "I am tlained in Tai Chi Chuan. I would beat them off with my hands." I said nothing. I knew what Tai Chi was - it is simply a health exercise. I assumed she meant Kung Fu. "Please ask the next girl to come in," I said smoothly.
"Miss Lufthansa," said my Mexican colleague. "Assume that your plane has crashed on a remote mountain. Only six men are alive besides you. After a week, you hear them plotting. They plan to pull down your pantyhosen and smack your bottom for fun. What do you do?"
"Copycat," I thought.
"Nicht ein probleme," she replied smugly. "My liddle shoes haf conzealed daggers in ze toes. I could defend myself. Zey vould not smeck my bottom."
The next girl entered.
" Miss British Airways," said my South African colleague. "Here is a problem for you. I want you to assume that your plane has crashed on a remote mountain. Only six men are alive besides you. After a week, you hear them plotting. They plan to pull down your knickers and smack your bottom for fun. What do you do?"
Miss British Airways looked puzzled. "Do? What would I do? I don't know what you mean. What is the problem?"
The End
© Copyright Summer, 2001
This document may contain explicit material of an ADULT nature. ***READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!*** This story is for entertainment purposes only, and it does not necessarily represent the viewpoint of the author. All characters are fictional and any resemblance to any real person alive or dead is purely coincidental. The Copyright of this story is held by ESP Publishing Ltd., Beijing, China. All Rights Reserved. Free distribution via an electronic medium such as the Internet is permitted as long as the text is not modified, and the name of the author and this copyright notice is clearly included. Any other form of publication is expressly forbidden unless authorized in writing by ESP Publishing Ltd.
Reviews
Musicman <rcarrol(at)gte(dot)net>
I loved this! Implausible, but fun anyway.
RCG <rcg1574(at)yahoo(dot)com>
Cute, witty, and origional. You do an excelent job of crafting the judges' personalities in such a short time.
I think I can guess who won that contest!