Cabbage Patch Cowboy By
Waddie Greywolf Chapter
20
Buck sat bolt
upright in his seat. He was sure he felt Waddie squeeze his hand. He
turned to Linda Sue with a grin.
"He squeezed my
hand. I felt it! I'm sure he squeezed my hand! He heard me crying
and squeezed my hand!" Buck exclaimed quietly. Linda Sue had
tears running down her face. "Were you trying to tell me to stop
crying, sweet baby?" he asked Waddie. Another big grin spread across
his face. "Sit here, next to him, take his hand, darling." Buck
told Linda Sue. She took Waddie's hand in hers and Buck spoke to him
again. "Aunt Linda's holding your hand. Show her you can hear me,
sweet baby." They waited for a minute and a broad smile spread across
Linda Sue's face.
"I felt that,
Waddie, my sweet baby;— my darling boy. I know, now, my darling, your
miracle has occurred. I spoke with your beloved aunt in Dallas and
she's on her way. She has much to tell you and I have much to tell my
husband. He doesn't know yet. I wanted to tell him in front of
you. I know you can hear us so I'll tell him tonight. I can't let it go
a moment longer. You were so right, my sweet baby, I did see that
little boy again I lost too long ago. I thank God for this miracle and
I thank God for you." Once again she felt Waddie gently squeeze her
hand.
"Oh, God,
Linda,— I knew his last trial was going to be bad but not like this,—
not like this. He may die. He may die before we get to ask him to be
our son. We could use a miracle right now. I don't understand. Gip told
me in the truck on the way to the hospital the miracle had happened,
and I would live the miracle tonight. Strange things have happened. Dr.
Dyer took my blood to give to Waddie without asking me about my blood
type; however, I know my type is O neg from my dog tags in the
war. It just happens to be the same as Waddie’s."
"Sweetheart,— I
have something to tell you. I will tell you about the miracle Waddie
has brought us. You remember the miracle everyone said Waddie would
bring us?"
"Yes, we never
figured out what it might be."
"It’s occurred,
darling, it’s happened. I feel awful for my part in it all, but for
you, Waddie, and myself,— the three of us,— I'm thrilled beyond words
for the miracle Waddie's brought us."
"What do you
mean, sweetheart, tell me?"
"Do you remember
telling me the angel who saved your life on Iwo Jima, told you, you
couldn't die because you had a son to live for?"
"Yes, but,— "
Linda Sue put her finger to her lips to quiet him and let her finish.
"All along
you've thought it was Waddie because Morgan made him your
'Godson,' right?"
"Yes, of
course,— but,— "
"The angel
didn't say you had a 'Godson' to live for, he told you, you had a 'son'
to live for. You misunderstood him. The truth is,— you have a son you
know nothing about."
"I don't
understand. How is that possible? I've never been with another woman
but you, dear, I swear."
"I know you
haven't. You've never given me a moments doubt of your
faithfulness. The night we went to the motel before you were shipped
out, we made love."
"The memory of
that night was one of the reasons I made it back?"
"When we made
love that night I did something awful. I'm so ashamed of myself I don't
even know how to tell you."
"What is it,
sweetheart? It couldn't be that bad."
"After you went
to the restroom and removed the condom, you threw it into the waste
basket next to the toilet. I was so afraid you wouldn't come back I did
something incredibly stupid and immature. I was so much in love with
you, Buck, I wanted your child. I didn't care if I had to raise him by
myself. If you didn't come home I wanted a part of our love to survive.
I wanted a part of you to survive. I know what I did was selfish, I
didn't obey your wishes; however, what's done is done and no matter the
consequences I must tell you."
"What, for God's
sake, tell me?" Buck whispered taking Linda Sue's hand in his.
"I went into the
restroom and I saw the condom laying there. Without thinking, I reached
down and retrieved it. I took some of your sperm and impregnated
myself. I didn't think it would take and laughed at my stupidity."
"Are you trying
to tell me you got pregnant and had my baby?"
"Yes, I gave
birth to your child, Buck. I was living with Aunt Agatha in Dallas and
decided I'd done the wrong thing. I thought you'd be angry with me for
not obeying you and probably wouldn't want me after that. I thought we
could have other children." Linda Sue hung her head in shame.
"After talking
to Aunt Agatha I decided I'd done you a great disservice by not going
along with your wishes. I was afraid you'd come home and be so angry
with me you'd never want to see me again. Worse yet, you might think I
had relations with another man and was trying to trap you. The thought
occurred to me, you might feel if you couldn't trust me to abide by
your wishes and trust me with something like this, why would you want
to trust me about anything? I stayed in Dallas the entire time of my
pregnancy. No one at home ever knew; they still don't. I never came
home during that time. My cousin Clara was a nurse at the Methodist
Hospital where I had the baby and gave him up for adoption."
"My God, Linda
Sue. You mean I have a son out there somewhere. Why haven't you told me
before now?"
"I was too
afraid, Buck. I thought we could have more children. It was a horrible
thing for me to do, I know. I've had to live with the pain and sorrow
every day since. I've wanted to tell you so many times, Buck, but I
didn't because I was a coward. I'm so sorry, Buck." Linda Sue started
sobbing and Buck took her into his arms to comfort her. He gently
kissed her on her neck and behind her ear, gently soothing her pain as
a myriad of thoughts raced through his mind.
"I still believe
in the vows we made to each other, sweetheart; now more than ever. How
many of my mistakes have you forgiven me for? You've lived with and
adjusted to my male bondings without being threatened. What's done is
done, let's live for tomorrow. Stop thinking about you and me, and
let's start thinking about us. We'll get through this, darling. We'll
find our son, I promise. What can you tell me about him? Do you have
any idea where the child is now?" Buck pleaded with her.
"I only got to
the see my baby for a few minutes before they took him away. He was the
most beautiful little boy, Buck. He looked just like you. He had the
deepest blue eyes, a little dimple in his chin, and platinum blond
hair. I looked at my baby's entire body carefully before I gave him to
the nurse. He had a mole on his right big toe,— but here’s the miracle,
Buck,— he had an inguinal, port-wine birthmark on his right leg near
his groin. It was in the shape of a perfect cowboy boot." she looked up
at Buck as all expression left his face and seemed to drain of all
blood until he was a pasty white.
Buck saw and
admired Waddie's birthmark many times. He thought it was a tattoo the
first time he saw it. It was a perfect western cowboy boot. He
thought, like Waddie and Gip, it was God's way of telling
Waddie He wanted him to be a cowboy. Buck looked at it closely the
first night Waddie stayed with him in his room at his parent’s home. He
looked at it on the way to the hospital. The pieces of the puzzle all
began to fall into place until the last piece,— his brother buying
Waddie on the black market from some nurses at the Methodist Hospital
in Dallas,— fell into place with a resounding thud.
On his face
Linda Sue saw the look of realization, disbelief, horror, pain, sorrow,
joy, thanksgiving, and forgiveness mixed together. If what Linda Sue
told him was true,— that meant,— he couldn't even bring himself to
think the thought. He couldn't say it to himself,— it just couldn't be!
No,— no,— surely he misunderstood and her further explanation would set
him straight. The mere thought was too Earth shaking for him to handle.
His eyes began to water, tears ran down his cheeks as he backed away
from Linda Sue slowly shaking his head.
"Waddie is your
son, Buck." she spoke for him what she knew he couldn't say to himself.
She nodded her head afterward, 'Yes, it's true.'
"Oh, my God! No,
this can't be,— you're telling me,— ? Is this a cruel joke?"
"It's not a joke
of any kind, darling,— Waddie is your flesh and blood. He's your son. I
gave birth to Waddie. He's our child. Your blood flows through his
veins."
It was Buck's
turn to lose it. The big man wanted to let out a wail of joy mixed with
pain and grief. He wanted to do as King David did before his troops and
dance naked in great joy around Waddie's bed, praising God. He wanted
to cry aloud in agony for the sufferings of the man-child laying next
to him in a coma. He wanted to shout for joy. If this was true it meant
God, indeed, answered what he considered his hopeless prayers.
Gip told him to have faith, God had answered his prayer. Suddenly, it
all made sense. Realization came flooding into him filling him
with all the emotions of the rainbow. The thought of Waddie as his real
son was almost too much for his heart to bear let alone comprehend the
enormity of the miracle. Buck sat heavily into the chair underneath him.
'There's no
other word for it in the English language that fits so well as
'miracle,' he thought to himself as Linda Sue comforted him. The
miracle brought mixed emotions. My boy lies near death's door due to
that worthless son of a bitch, Willie. Buck flashed so angry he could
see himself dragging Willie deep into the desert and blowing his brains
out to be enjoyed by the scavengers. He quickly made it go away but
still felt the heat around his neck from the adrenalin rush. He was the
sheriff. He had to uphold the law, and it applied equally to all men;
even meat machines. Linda Sue continued.
"I never knew
until this afternoon when I saw the birthmark on Waddie's leg. That's
why I went crazy, Buck. I never suspected Waddie might be my baby until
I saw his birthmark as he was laying there in the truck. I knew when I
saw it, Waddie was my baby. I realized he was our child. I thought my
baby was gone forever and we'd never be able to find him. That's why I
reacted like I did but Jimmy Sue pulled me away to talk to me.
Momma Sue, Dan and Gip have known for sometime.
Waddie told me
one day, before we were married, when I was sad about giving up our
baby, if I trusted him, I would one day see the little boy I was so sad
about. I never told him I was sad about a little boy, but he was right.
He swore me to secrecy and when I asked him how he could know this, he
told me he all ready told me too much. If I truly trusted him to tell
the truth, I would see that little boy again. My baby was sitting next
to me the whole time telling me not to grieve, he loved me, and he
forgave me."
Buck sat there
stunned. It was too much for him to handle. He broke out into heavy
sobs and Linda Sue took him in her arms. She comforted him and went on
explaining.
"Don't you see,
darling, Waddie is the miracle that's been promised you. Mr. Urial even
told you the miracle will change your life and mine. How many times
have you told me you've prayed everyday since meeting Waddie he was
your boy? How many times, Buck? Gip knew the moment I saw
Waddie's birthmark the miracle had come to pass. I'm so sorry, I've
been a terrible woman and a worse wife to you. I've deceived you and
not told you things you should have known all along because of my own
fears and insecurities. Now look what I've done to our baby. He may die
and I won't have a chance to hold him and tell him how much I love
him." Linda Sue was sobbing in Buck's arms as well.
"There, there,
darling. If this is true, how could I be mad at you for telling me.
Does Waddie know? Who else knows about this."
Waddie's known
since the first time we met him here in the hospital. It's been five
years our child has kept the secret of who his real parents are. His
angel told him we were the people he had to live for along with Dan,
Jimmy Sue and especially Gip. He gave Waddie a choice to go with him,
return to God or live as if he didn't know about the future until I
accidentally discovered he was our child. He went through all those
beatings and nearly being killed a couple of times because of my
stupidity and his love for us.
Gip's known
since our wedding night. That was the secret the angel said Waddie
could share with his brother. Dan and Jimmy Sue have only known since
the night Waddie ran away. I told Jimmy Sue about my baby and his
birthmark. Dan told Jimmy Sue about you having to give the state
missing persons information and mentioned Waddie's birthmark to her.
She put two and two together and asked Gip, who wouldn't lie to her.
Dan, well, he figured it out for himself but Gip told him he couldn't
confirm his suspicions until Mr. Urial appeared to them and told Gip it
was okay.
You remember
Aunt Agatha at the wedding, how she took to Waddie and insisted he come
visit. She asked Gip about his birthmark behind his ear. He told her
and he went on to describe Waddie's cowboy boot to her. I told her
about my baby's birthmark the day I gave Waddie up and she remembered.
She put two and two together and confronted Waddie. He couldn't lie to
her. As it turned out, his angel sent Aunt Agatha to be his adult
guide, counselor and friend. He couldn't have sent better. No matter
what you may think of me and my foolish actions Waddie's brought us the
miracle Aunt Agatha told us about.
"Oh, my God,
it's beginning to make sense from the things Waddie's told me since he
was five years old. That poor kid's known all this time. I asked him
one time if he had to live his life like he never knew the future and
he confirmed it." Buck spoke softly.
"Think about it,
darling. It is a miracle. It's the miracle you've prayed for that
Waddie was your son. Well,— Buck,— he is your flesh and blood. God
heard your prayers and that's the miracle he had for you. Waddie is the
son you had to live for! Ask Doctor Dyer. He's known a little over
three years, since I went to him about my inability to get pregnant.
When he examined me he knew I'd had a child. The doctors Scott and
White knew, too, but were gracious enough not to say anything. Dr. Dyer
left it up to me to tell you. He urged me to tell you and let you look
for our child. He asked the gender of the child and I told him. He
asked if I noticed any outstanding features the baby might have to aid
in identification. When I told him about my baby's birthmark and other
identifying marks, he realized right away it was Waddie.
He never said a
word to me; however,— I remember,— he dropped his clipboard. A voice
told him to talk to Waddie first. He knew from that day, but he, too,
was sworn to secrecy. Dr. Dyer and Aunt Agatha have been in constant
communication for the last three years. Remember the same afternoon Dr.
Dyer told me I couldn't have anymore children he called Waddie and Gip
into the hospital. He didn't lie to us. He checked the boys for mumps
but what he really wanted was to talk with Waddie and Gip. They
explained why they couldn't tell and he couldn't either until I
discovered Waddie was my child. Oh, and by the way, the boys told him I
couldn't have any more children. Mr. Urial told them. Waddie's and your
angel, Mr. Urial, said I had to find out Waddie was our son by a
natural occurrence before Waddie's future begins to unfold the way it
should."
Buck sat there
for a minute with no reactions of any kind. The pieces began to fall
together like dominos stacked closely together on end. They came
flooding into his mind ever faster. The times when he and Waddie were
alone together. How many times had Waddie wanted to tell him he was his
son. Buck remembered the night in Beaumont when Waddie ask him if he
could call Buck 'dad' at least once a day then cried his little heart
out in Buck's arms. Buck knew it was important to the boy but he could
only imagine how important it was to Waddie; how deeply the boy needed
that. Buck thought it was a sweet whim at the time and was more than
glad to indulge the boy. Truth was, Buck wanted to hear Waddie call him
'dad.'
He thought about
the time sitting next to Waddie the night of his sixth birthday when he
asked him if there was something he didn't know about Waddie. Waddie
didn't lie to him. He told him the truth. Buck didn't know he was his
son. Waddie tried to tell him that night how important Buck's
relationship was to him; how much he loved and needed Buck. How afraid
he was Buck would be taken away from him before he had a chance to love
him as his dad. Yet, he knew, if he wanted their love bad enough, he
had to live as if he didn't know these things. Buck even asked him that
very question. He didn't lie to Buck. Buck just didn't understand the
implications of the answer. Buck gathered himself and took Linda Sue in
him arms.
"Thank you,— "
he spoke softly and kissed her;— then, he broke down again.
"Buck,— I,— .”
Linda Sue started crying, too.
"Shuuu...." he
calmed her and kissed her gently, "Thank you for being a part of this
miracle. I believe you, now. I have to believe you. I want so
desperately to believe you, and I think you love me too much to make
this up. All the pieces fit together. Somehow, I don't think Morgan
knows the truth."
"He doesn't,
Buck. Aunt Agatha confirmed that for me on the phone. She has all the
documents. Affidavits and sworn statements notarized Waddie is our
child. Her story of how she went about getting all the documents is a
story unto itself. You would be proud of her, Buck. She is a lioness."
"God help me,—
this is all too overwhelming— " cried Buck. "For all of this, you must
understand I have nothing but love for you and forgiveness in my heart,
but I need for you to understand something. It's very important to me."
"Anything,
darling."
"I need to be
alone with my son, tonight, sweetheart. I need you not to feel
rejected. I'll only ask this once, but I need to be alone with Waddie
tonight as I was that first night I met him, remember?" Linda Sue
nodded her head she remembered, "Call Dan and Jimmy Sue. I don't want
you to be alone. Drive out and be with them this evening and tell them
you told me. Call my parents, call your parents and tell them.
Call Ma and Pa Lovejoy. Stay the night and return with them in
the morning. I love you, darling, with all my heart but I need this
time alone with Waddie."
"I love you,
too, Buck. I'm so sorry. I'll go to the Justin’s and I do understand,
Buck."
"No more, I'm
sorry's, okay? Let's live from today forward. Tell Dan, Jimmy Sue and
especially Gip I love them and will see them tomorrow morning. I love
you, sweetheart and thank you for my son. Linda Sue, you have been a
wonderful wife and while I wish you'd never given him up in the first
place, I can understand why you did. God has given us a second chance;
Waddie, himself, has brought us this miracle. Let's remember to thank
the good Lord for this miracle in our prayers along with praying for
our son."
They kissed
again and Linda Sue left. She went home and called the Claymores and
senior Lovejoys over to her parents home. She slowly explained
to the stunned adults and her brother and sister
Waddie was her child. They were overjoyed. She called
Jimmy Sue and she invited Linda Sue out for the night. She drove to the
Justin’s with mixed emotions. She couldn't help feel a bit rejected but
if she did, she thought, it was her own fault. Buck needed time alone
with Waddie to adjust to the idea Waddie was, indeed, his son. Dan,
Jimmy Sue and Gip all understood why Buck would want to be alone with
Waddie. Waddie and he had a bond and Buck had to sort things out in his
mind. They told her Buck wasn't rejecting her. He needed this time
alone with his boy to adjust; to shift gears. Linda Sue felt
better.
She knew within
Buck and Waddie there were places only they knew about and shared. They
would look at each other and fall out laughing uncontrollably. Buck
would start a sentence and Waddie would finish it. Waddie would start
one and Buck would finish. She realized there were ways they loved each
other she could never be a part of; however, she and Waddie shared
secrets and loved each other like Buck would never understand. There is
a great closeness between a mother and a son. Yet, there is a balance
in all things. She was beginning to see and understand that
balance. For the first time, in a long time, her heart was at
peace.
* * * * * *
Buck sat down in
the chair and took Waddie's smaller hand in his and covered it with his
other hand. He looked at Waddie's face like it was the first time he'd
ever seen the boy. It was the first time he looked upon him as his son;
his flesh and blood son; the fruit of his loins, thorn of his vine, the
spark from his own soul shown brightly inside the child, his child. The
boy took the small spark of his dad's soul and tended it until it grew
into its own well developed brilliance that even in a coma could not be
denied. It was the longest night Buck ever spent in his life. He felt
Waddie squeeze his hand from time to time, he was sure of it. He
wondered if he should tell someone? The nurse came into the room. Buck
knew her from high school.
"Alice, I swear
I'm feeling him squeeze my hand when I'm talking to him. Is that
important?"
"I would think
so, for goodness sake. It's not too late, let me call the doctor and
see. Be back in a minute, Buck." she said, left the room and returned
in a few minutes.
"He said he'd be
here in a minute. He wanted to see for himself and said 'yes' it was of
major importance."
About thirty
minutes later, Dr. Dyer came into the room. Buck was still holding
Waddie's hand.
"You really
think he squeezed your hand, Buck?"
"Ever so
lightly,— when I was talking to him."
"Sometimes those
things are involuntary muscle spasms. The hand is being held;
therefore, it's looking for a signal from the brain. If the expected
signal doesn't come,— it twitches. May I,— ?" Dr. Dyer asked motioning
for Buck to let him hold Waddie's hand. Buck moved from the chair
and Dr. Dyer took his place.
"By the way,
Sheriff Claymore, now you know how Geppeto must've felt when he found
out Pinnochio was his real son." the Doctor said smiling. He ran into
Linda Sue on her way out of the hospital.
"Wise acre! You
knew all along. That's how you knew my blood would be a match for
Waddie's."
"We're so happy
for you and Linda Sue we can hardly talk about anything else. I spoke
with our dear friend Agatha this evening three times all ready. She’s a
remarkable woman, Buck. She's bringing you proof positive Waddie is
your son."
"I think the
world of her all ready, Doctor. She was right, so was Mr. Urial, and
Gip,— Waddie did bring me a miracle. But, to me, Doc, it's far more
than a miracle,— he's my son;— my boy. Yes,— I think I do know how
Geppeto must've felt." Buck smiled as he winked at the Doctor.
Dr. Dyer took
Waddie's hand in his.
"You have to
talk to him, Doctor. Tell him you're here and need to see if he can
squeeze your hand."
"Waddie, you
know the sound of my voice. This is Doctor Dyer, I need you to squeeze
my hand if you can hear me." a big smile came across his face. "Once
more, please. Fine! Fine! He seems to be responding, Buck. You were
right to have Alice notify me. We know he's aware. Beyond that we can't
say. Stay with him. Let him rest but talk to him occasionally. Let him
know you're by his side. Have his mother talk to him and hold his hand.
One or two at a time but I don't want more than two and yourself in
here at any one time, understand?"
"I sure do,
Doctor, and thanks for coming so quickly."
"I told you once
if these boys were ever in trouble to bring them to me as quickly as
possible. You did and quite possibly saved Waddie's life. It's but a
little on my part to repay you and your family for your kindness to me
and my wife over the years. Neither of us have family and you can't
know what being included has meant to us. I thank you, Sheriff."
"Buck,
Doctor,— Buck."
"Then call me
Wayne, Buck." he winked at Buck and wrote a note on Waddie's chart. He
told Buck he was going home for dinner could he bring him anything.
Buck told him he was fine and thanked him again.
Buck talked on
and on to Waddie. He would feel Waddie squeeze his hand when he was
silent like he wanted Buck to talk to him some more. Buck would start
in again. Then he remembered talking to Mr. Urial on Mrs. Jessup's
porch. He told Buck not to leave Waddie's side he would need him.
Buck knew he wouldn't leave until he saw his boy well and safe.
"I don't want to
tire you, sweet baby, by talking to you too much. When I don't talk
it's 'cause I want you to rest for a while and heal. I need you,
Waddie. I need you to come back to me. I can sit here the rest of the
night and can't tell you enough times how much I love you." he felt
another squeeze. "I know you love me, cowboy. I felt that and I know
what it meant. I don't think there's a father and son on this Earth who
love each other more. Sometimes, when I'm silent, I'm praying to our
Father to heal you and give you back to me, but it ain't like I'm just
praying for a boy I love beyond measure, I'm praying for my boy,
Waddie,— my son. You can't know what that's done for me, Son. I feel
like a giant. I know I'm pretty big but I feel even bigger." another
squeeze.
Buck talked and
talked, remembering the fun things he and Waddie did together. Once,
ending up with cowshit all over them. Buck couldn't help but laugh at
the thought and would feel Waddie respond. Buck's mind flashed back to
that afternoon three months ago before Waddie ran away and Morgan and
Buck were still seeing each other regularly. That Saturday Waddie and
he were working at the ranch he and Linda Sue bought next to Ed
Bloomquist's place. It bordered the Justin's on the back side, Ed's on
one side and Lyle's on the other. It needed quite a bit of work done on
it before Buck and Linda Sue could move into it. Besides, it was almost
imperative Buck live near town for emergency reasons. The place was
abandoned. One of the county clerks Buck did some favors for tipped him
off the place was going to be put on the market for back taxes but if
he paid the back taxes, cleared the title, the clerk would deed it to
him. There was nothing illegal about it. It's done all the time, even
today.
It was a day of
great joy and love between them. Waddie and he grew so close he knew he
desperately wanted a closer relationship with Waddie. He even prayed to
the Father if his brother wasn't being a good dad for Waddie to give
him a chance. Buck was concerned but not bothered about his physical
attraction to the boy. Buck had never felt such a need to be that close
to another human, male or female, than that afternoon playing with
Waddie. No wonder Waddie was such a kindred spirit. The boy knew, Buck
remembered and laughed at his impishness toying with Buck who didn't
have a clue. Buck could remember things Waddie said that playfully
suggested he was his real son. He remembered Waddie telling him the
story of Pinnochio and innocently telling Buck how he wished he could
wish upon a star. Then when he woke up the next morning he really would
be Buck's son.
"Maybe if I’m
good, believe hard enough and wish on that star of ours,— ‘member, the
one you told me’s called Betelgeuse,— maybe God will do that for me,
Uncle Buck. Hell,— I all ready done got me a Jiminy Cricket."
"Yeah? Who?"
"Aunt Agatha."
Waddie smiled sweetly.
"Damned if she
ain't!” Buck chuckled, “Can't gainsay that one, Son." they laughed
together.
Buck's mind
wandered. It's always been there,— right in front of him,— staring him
in the face every time he looked into Waddie’s beautiful blue eyes,—
but he didn't have the key to unlock the truth. He even remembered the
truth in young Shad's innocent question.
"You sure Waddie
ain’t chur’ son, Sheriff?" Shad asked him. "He might be and you just
don't know it." added the boy. ‘Ah,— truth,’ he thought, ‘from
the mouth's of babes.’
That wonderful
lazy afternoon they shared together they had a great time playing with
the calves and later swimming nude together in the creek. There was no
doubt in his mind Waddie wanted him in the same way. The added fact
that Waddie knew Buck was his dad at the time and expressed physical
attraction toward him didn't change the importance of the attraction in
Buck's mind a whit. He didn't see it as sick or perverted. He saw it as
a huge responsibility. One he began to accept that afternoon. He
knew he made the right decision at the time and this news only
solidified the angel's endorsement that day;— not until the boy was old
enough to make his own decisions.
The picture in
his mind of the joy, laughter, and love they shared that afternoon came
flooding back to him along with copious tears. How intimate they became
and captured a love for each other that would never die. They both
accepted the responsibility for their actions. Waddie never taunted nor
teased his dad after that afternoon. A new, stronger, more powerful,
loving humanity was born between them; one that would stand the test of
time and loss.
Waddie never
consciously tried to seduce the sheriff again. Didn't mean he couldn't
grab himself a big ole handful of Buck if he wanted to. Those man/man
rules still applied. Didn't mean they couldn't share a knowing, lurid,
lewd, licentious, lascivious glance at one another from time to time,
wink when they caught the other looking, then break into gales of
laughter. It usually ended in a hug and a kiss, which, in turn, would
cause a reaction that only confirmed their continued relationship to
their possible primal ancestor; homo erectus. (It made 'um get big ole
hard-ons, Cletus!)
Suddenly it
became clear to him,— that's why they needed each other so much. There
was an animal bond between father and son that would not be denied.
Something became clear to Buck he always suspected. A healthy sexual
attitude toward the proper adjustment of any male child comes from the
physical approval of their father. A cold, rejecting, non-physical
contact father, no matter how well he provides for his boy or claims to
love him will in most cases have a boy who spends the rest of his life
looking for the closer love of a surrogate father.
Taking a nap
together in the late afternoon sun, laying on the warm sandbar, holding
Waddie close, Waddie holding Buck's dick tight between his legs like it
was his duty to keep his big buddy's cock warm and safe, Buck never
felt more loved, wanted or needed by any beastie, animal or human.
Tears began to well up in his eyes as he gently, lovingly, rubbed
Waddie's hand. He spoke aloud.
"Almighty God in
heaven, Heavenly Father, Father of us all, hear my prayer! I cry out to
you for help, oh Lord! Don't give me this miracle only to take it away
from me, Father. I'm begging you, Sir, please, please save my boy.
Return him to me and his mother. Mr. Urial I know you're here, Sir,— I
feel your presence. You promised you would be, and I know you are. Help
my boy, Sir. Intercede for us if you can, Sir. I know you can and tell
our Father of my prayer, my plea,— but I understand,— his will be done.
Oh God, Waddie,—
my beloved son, light from my soul. Oh, Waddie, I know the truth, now.
How long has your poor heart waited to hear me call you my son? You've
always known I love you. There couldn't be a doubt in your mind. How
could you have such a strong heart to suffer what you have for our
love? Is our love that great to you? Is our love greater to you than
the heart of God? You know in my heart I've wanted you for my own
since the first day we saw each other. I rearranged my life to stay in
this community to have your love whether you could ever be mine or not.
I knew I had to be near you and to have what love I could from you. I
had to be able to give you what love I could without interfering with
my brother's need for you.
I was selfish,
I'll admit, by wanting you to be mine instead of my brother's. God in
his great wisdom has seen fit to give you to me, to give me the chance
I begged for. By our Father in heaven, I won't share you with my
brother. But,— alas,— that's not true either. It will be your choice,
my beloved cowboy. If you need to forgive, and you and Morgan learn to
love again then who am I to say 'no.' Oh, Waddie,— my son,— if
only I could crawl into that closet you're in right now I would. I'd
crawl inside your brain and hunker down to make myself as small as
possible. I'd sit and hold you and cry with you until we both got it
out; all the pain, the frustration, our need to love one another and
most of all our joy and celebration in knowing there need be no more
barriers, no more hidden secrets. The future is ours to love.
I'd kiss away
your tears and tell you, your dad will never let harm come to you
again. I would kill any son of a bitch who looks at you cross eyed.
Come back to me, Son. Come home to me. I need to hear my beautiful
cowboy call me his dad. I need that, now, more than life itself, sweet
baby. I can't imagine a tomorrow without you, Son. You're my greatest
hope for the future, Waddie, and I love you more'n sand in the desert.
I know you're in there, sweet baby. I can feel you through your hand. I
know you're once more on the floor of your closet. I know you can hear
your dad. I can feel your joy that I know and recognize you as my
beloved son.
I made you a
promise once, if you ever crawled into a closet again I'd be right
there with you until we worked it out or you decided to come out. I'm
here now, Son. I ain't leaving. I'm in that closet with you, and I'm
going to stay with you. I promise, I won't leave until you open your
eyes, look at your old man and tell him you love him. I promise, Son,
I'll be here for you when you wake up."
Buck broke into
sobs with his forehead resting on the bed, his hands gently holding
Waddie's. Once again, ever so slightly, ever so gently, almost
imperceptibly, Buck felt his son squeeze his hand.
* * * * * * *
Buck refused to
leave Waddie's side. He didn't mind if Dan, Jimmy Sue, Linda Sue or Gip
wanted to sit with him, but Buck wasn't going to leave his boy's side.
No one argued with the big man. They all figured he knew the truth now,
he was Waddie's dad and he had that right. The Davenports, the elder
Claymores, Linda Sue, the elder Lovejoys, brought him food and
drink. He slept in the chair next to Waddie's bed. He made a
promise to his boy he would be there when Waddie opened his eyes. He
would keep his promise. It got all over the county, the
discovery, that Waddie was Buck's real son. Through all of this Morgan
kept a low profile. He didn't go to the hospital; however, he did
call his parents.
Ma and Pa
Lovejoy heard the news from Linda Sue, Waddie was Buck and her
natural born child. They were overjoyed for them. They weren't
the least disappointed. They knew their position as Waddie's
grandparents was solid. If anything it only meant they'd get to see him
more. Buck proved his love and faithfulness to Ma and Pa Lovejoy over
and over again. They weren't left out of anything and never would be.
Aunt Agatha
arrived on the bus and Linda Sue was there with her parents to pick her
up. She decided to stay with the Davenports since Linda Sue's life was
in turmoil. She insisted on seeing her nephew. Dr. Dyer had no
problem with his close friend, Agatha, visiting with Buck and Waddie
for a while. He just didn't want a large crowd of people in the room at
once. He would leave that discretion up to Buck. Everyone left the room
before Agatha went in to be alone with Buck and Waddie. She slowly
opened the door carrying a manilla envelope in her hands. Buck turned
to see her, took her into his big arms and cried with her. Agatha
rarely cried, but she knew the big man's heart was breaking.
'How must he
feel? The poor man.' ran through her mind. She comforted him as best
she could and told him she'd been praying non-stop; her daughters were,
too. Buck pulled a up a chair next to Waddie's bed for her and let her
sit close to him. First she leaned over and gently kissed Waddie on his
cheek. Agatha took his hand and saw the pale color of his face. She
looked at the jaundiced color around his eyes. It was hard for her to
see her beloved nephew this way.
"My dearest,
nephew, your Auntie Boo is here." Agatha looked at Buck and smiled.
"Did you feel
him respond, Auntie?" Buck asked.
"I did, indeed,
Buck. He know's I'm here. Young man, I come with great news. Here,
Buck, I wanted you to be the first to see these papers. I accomplished
my assigned task, my sweet cowboy. I've brought your dad, signed,
notarized affidavits from my daughter Clara and the head nurse who made
the arrangements for you to be sold to the Lovejoys. I have a notarized
letter from the chief of staff of the Methodist Hospital correcting the
history of your birth. Your dad will also find in the envelope a brand
new birth certificate with the date of birth and the names of your real
parents. I had them leave the name blank because you may want a
different name. I'll tell you the rest of the story and how I came by
these documents when you're better. It's a story unto itself. I was
guided and directed by our friend. He was such an angel." she giggled
at her little joke and felt a stronger squeeze.
It's hard for me
to see you like this, my dearest, considering how much we've shared,
how much I love you and your brother. You and your brother were so
right, the 'Old Password' was better than the previous." she giggled
and she could've sworn she saw a trace of a smile cross Waddie's face.
"Mr. Urial is here with you, I can feel him, and I will ask him to ask
our Father to let you come back to us as quickly as possible. There are
a number of folks here who need you, Waddie. You can put your Auntie
Boo's name near the top of the list. I love you so much, my young,
handsome cowboy." Once again, Agatha smiled at Buck as she felt a
slight attempt to squeeze her hand.
"Aunt Agatha,
how can we thank you for these documents. These slam the barn door
shut." Buck hugged and kissed Agatha again, "It's still hard for me to
believe, but these are absolute proof. Complete with a sheriff's report
of the actions. Photos of my wife pregnant. This is incredible. You
weren't kidding when you told us at our wedding Waddie would bring us a
miracle; certainly one I never expected. I sit here beside him and look
at him. We've known for a long time he looks enough like me to be my
son, but I've always denied it. Now I look at him and realize why he
looks like me. He is my son. Even the words,— to say them to myself,—
well, it's a miracle just to know I can call him my son and know he is."
"I know, Buck.
There were portions of yourself you had to hold back from him all these
years because of fear of becoming too close or overshadowing Mr.
Lovejoy's love for him. Now, you don't have to do that. You can become
the father to Waddie you've wanted to be and best of all Waddie can
become your son. He can call you dad and know you understand he means
only you. God be praised he brought us this miracle. I'm so
grateful to him, Waddie and Gip for including me in this. I lived to
see an actual miracle, but best of all, I got to see God's work in
action and had several visits from an angel. We must trust in Him and
Mr. Urial to bring our darling cowboy back to us."
"Aunt Agatha, I
know you would do this without asking, but talk to Linda Sue for me.
After my first night alone with my boy I worked everything out in my
heart and soul. I have no bad feelings for her. I love her more solidly
today than I ever did. She must believe that. I can't have her beating
herself up and going into depression over this. My boy needs a mother
as well as a dad. I've told her all this, but I'm not sure she believes
me. Would you talk to her for me? You always have had a way of getting
through to her, and I would be grateful."
"Of course I
will, Buck. You know I will. It will take a little time but she has to
know Waddie carries no ill will toward her in his heart. He's proved
his love for her over and over again. It's an embarrassment to her
right now, but people get over embarrassment quickly enough. You and
Waddie will make a concerted effort to bring her along as well as each
other. It will be with great joy the three of you fall in love with
each other all over again."
Agatha stayed
for a while longer and quietly talked with Buck. She talked with Buck
before, but mostly when a lot of other folks were around. Talking to
him alone was a treat for Agatha. She saw a man of great depth and
sensitivity capable of great love. She wasn't surprised by that, his
son inherited those traits from him. Buck exuded the same natural,
genuine warmth and charm his son did. Agatha would've done anything in
the world for either. She felt she'd stayed long enough and
should get back to the family. She hugged Buck again and kissed him
gently on the cheek.
"My niece picked
the right man, Buck. I knew the first time she talked with me about
you. I'm afraid I may bear some of my niece's burden for giving Waddie
away. I only meant to discuss alternatives with her. I stressed the
choice must be hers alone. At the time I couldn't be disappointed with
my niece either way. She needed my support in her decision no matter
what my preference might have been. I never consciously made a choice."
she said softly with tears in her eyes. "If I did, Buck, I asked your
forgiveness."
"With all you've
done, Aunt Agatha, how could you think such a thing. That kid worships
you; I can say I ain't too proud to kneel at your feet and thank
you for your part in this. There is nothing to forgive. You've given me
a son." Buck held her and kissed her gently on the forehead.
"You're a good
man, Buck Claymore." Agatha turned and left the room with a tear in her
eye.
Buck was
rejoined by Dan Justin. Dan took Waddie's hand. Dan and Buck talked
softly for a long while. Buck was still strong in his resolve to be
there when Waddie woke up. Dr. Dyer came in to check on Waddie a
couple of times and Buck showed him and Dan the documents Agatha
brought him. They were wowed she could gather all this information and
have it notarized.
Dr. Dyer could
now talk with Buck and tell him how hard it was not to tell. Dan backed
him up. Even the short period he and Jimmy Sue knew, it was hard being
as close as they were to Buck and Linda Sue and not tell them. Mr.
Urial was right, Buck was so overjoyed he couldn't harbor any bad
feelings toward anyone. Waddie was his son. It was exactly what he'd
been praying for the past five years. Waddie told him if he believed
hard enough and wanted it bad enough the Lord would find a way. To have
a son was a dream he put aside, but to find out this little man he
loved so dearly was his son was more than dreams are made of. He knelt
hourly, thanked God and Mr. Urial then prayed for the Father to let his
son come home to him.
Later that
afternoon Waddie had another visitor who claimed an angel told him to
come to his little brother's side when he heard the news of his trial.
The nurse told Buck and he giggled. He told her to bring him in.
Dan hugged Ed Bloomquist as he left the room so Ed could be alone with
Waddie and Buck. Buck hugged and gave Ed a big ole kiss right on the
mouth. Ed didn't hold back but started crying. So did Buck.
"Welcome,
brother." said Buck, "Come, sit next to him and take his hand. He can
hear you, and sometimes you can feel him respond when he squeezes your
hand."
Ed took Waddie's
hand and big tear ran down his face. He turned to Buck.
"Waddie's angel
came to us one Saturday night towards the end of July. Waddie came and
spent the night with me in my old barn. I shit right in the hay,
brother. You know me. Nothing scares old Ed. Well, Waddie was a' talk'n
to him like they was good buddies,— joking back and forth at my
expense,— so I figures the guy can't be that bad."
"Wa'ju' do?"
asked Buck.
"Opened my
eyes." Ed said rather sheepishly. Buck couldn't stop laughing put his
arm around Ed and pulled him close, "He told me I had to come to
Waddie's side and let him know I'm here, I love him, and above all, I’m
pray’n for him. I promised him I would, Buck, and there ain't no way in
Hell I ain't a' gonna' obey that angel." Buck couldn't help but laugh
at Ed's sincere, child like, reverence for Mr. Urial.
"Talk to him,
Ed, he'll squeeze your hand. He'll let you know he hears you."
"Listen,
cowboy,— this here's your big brother, Ed, talk'n to ya.' Ah,
shit, sweet baby,— I can't stand to see ya' like this. Why'd that angel
make me promise to come be by your side? I'm doing ya' more harm
than good being here." Ed couldn't help himself, he started crying.
"Damn it, Waddie,— I didn't come because no damn angel scare't the shit
out a' me, I came because,— well,— because,— " Ed looked at Buck, Buck
smiled and nodded to Ed, "because I love you, little brother. You're
the only little brother I got, darlin' and I'll be honest wit' cha,'
I'm selfish. I don't wanna' have to do without my little brother. We've
leaned on each other and meant too much to one another to say goodbye.
C'mon, cowboy, fight for it. You can do it. Come back to me. You can't
stay there, you made me a promise." Ed paused and looked at Buck.
"He squeezed my
hand! I felt that, darlin'! You know your big brother's here 'cause he
loves ya'! I felt that, cowboy. That's good! That's good! Now, the
other promise I made to that angel was to talk to Him. I been trying,
Waddie. I ain't too sure I'm getting through. There's a lot of static
on the line 'cause there's lots of people better'n me sending prayers
to him. But, I made Mr. Urial a promise, and I'll be damned if'n I
ain't gonna' keep it.— I will,— I will,— I'm a' praying for ya', sweet
baby." Ed was smiling after feeling Waddie squeeze his hand a couple
more times.
"I better go
now, cowboy, there's a line of folks what wanna' visit and talk with
ya.' You gotta' know there ain't a damn one of 'em what loves you
more'n your big brother." Ed squeezed Waddie's hand gently one more
time and felt Waddie squeeze back. "I know you love me, darlin,' and
I'll be back to see ya.' Get better!"
Ed let go of
Waddie's hand, turned to Buck and cried. Buck held him and consoled him.
"He asked Mr.
Urial if'n he could tell me his secret that night, Buck. I damn near
fell out of that hayloft hoot'n and a holler'n when I found out he was
your boy. It took me a few minutes to really believe, but then, I ain't
never know'd that boy to tell a lie. And,— just after being visited by
an angel who told him it was all right to tell me, adds a lot of
weight." Ed laughed, "I'm so happy for you and Linda Sue,
brother. You look tired but happy so I know it's changed your life."
"Yeah, more'n
you know, brother. I can't thank you enough for what you done for us,
Ed. I'll never forget it and I agree with Mr. Urial, you're a good
man." said Buck holding Ed tight and then kissed him with more than a
brotherly kiss.
"You're welcome
in that old barn of mine anytime, Sheriff, anytime."
"May be
quicker'n you know, old friend. Thank's for coming to see your little
brother. Love ya', brother."
"Well, I don't
have ta' say it,— you know how I feel 'bout you and Waddie, Buck." Ed
let Buck go and left the room with a tear running down his cheek.
The morning of
the third day Gip was with Buck. They brought Buck breakfast and Gip
wanted to sit for a while with Buck and his brother. Gip held Waddie's
hand and talked softly to him. Gip would feel Waddie gently squeeze his
hand from time to time. The door to Waddie's room opened slowly and
there was Randy and Sarah Crenshaw with Earl D. and Billy Bob. They'd
left the boys with Gus, Dora, and Brenda Lou. Gip hugged and kissed
them all for coming and left the room so they could visit. Buck allowed
Randy and Sarah to visit first and told the boys to come after they
left. Randy Crenshaw took his boy's hand in his, laid his forehead on
the edge of Waddie's bed, and wept inconsolably. He gathered himself
and sat there for the longest time looking at Waddie.
"Talk to him,
Randy," Buck encouraged, "he can hear you. Let him know you're here.
It'll mean the world to him to know you thought enough to be by his
side. He squeezes our hand every now and then to let us know he hears
us." Buck encouraged Randy. Randy put his other hand under Waddie's.
"Listen, cowboy,
this is one of your dads talking. One who loves you more'n you'll ever
know. It's Dad Crenshaw. Ma Crenshaw and I had to come and be with you
to let you know you have more than our prayers, you have our hearts
laying in that bed with you, young man. Your two keepers weren't about
to let us get down the driveway without them in the back of the truck.
Your mom Crenshaw had a big stick, and like your Uncle Buck, tried to
beat 'em off; but, they just took it away from her and jumped in the
back anyway." Randy Crenshaw looked at Buck and winked.
"I felt that,
cowboy. You rest and listen to the folks who love you. Earl D.
and Billy Bob rode all the way in the back of our pickup to tell you
they love you. Your dad Gus, ma Dora, and even Brenda Lou cried their
hearts out because they couldn't come with us, but they knew someone
had to stay home with the boys. They wanted us to come. They love
you so much they wanted us to be with you. They send their love and
hope you understand why they can't be here.
We got everyone
back in Bandera praying for you. There are signs on the road, 'Pray for
our Waddie.' Our phone hasn't stopped ringing. We had to come tell you
how much we love and miss you. You have to get better, Son. You have to
come back to us. You haven't taught your old Dad Crenshaw all you know
'bout roping yet. There's one tiny little buckaroo who we tried to keep
the news from, but he has ears like a radar net and over heard us
talking. He was so devastated. No one could console him, but finally
Earl D. managed to get him to listen. Shad sends his love, told me to
tell you he's praying for you and to get better for him." Randy
Crenshaw smiled and then his eyes got real big.
"I felt that
one, sweet baby! Damned if I didn't! Here momma, you say 'hello' to our
boy." Randy offered Sarah Crenshaw Waddie's hand. She sat down and
gently took Waddie's hand and began to speak to him.
"Waddie,— what
can I say to you that you don't all ready know from my heart. You above
all my boys know how I feel about you. I've said so many prayers,— God
and I are on a first name basis. I even started call'n Him 'Howard.'
Remember? You told me when you were younger you thought everyone was
praying, "Howard be thy name,— " Sara Crenshaw giggled, "He's probably
tired of that Crenshaw lady nagging Him about helping her boy. I hope
He is and gets so tired of hearing from me He'll let you come back to
us just to shut me up. I know you're gonna' come back to us,
sweetheart, you're a major part of a number of people's lives. Everyone
of the boys are devastated and are praying for you around the clock. We
love you so much, Waddie."
"Oh,— I felt
that, darling. I know you can hear me. I love you, Son." Sarah was
shedding tears of joy. She felt Waddie squeeze her hand as well. She
hugged and kissed Buck on the cheek and told him how sorry she was his
son was in such bad shape.
"You and Randy
heard the news?"
"We knew when
you came to get Waddie and Gip." said Randy Crenshaw, "Gip and Waddie
told us of his miracle that would happen, and then a miracle happened
for us because you good folks prayed for it. We couldn't be more
grateful. We're so happy for you and Linda Sue, Buck. Course you
realize you have to share him with us, brother." Randy Crenshaw laughed
as he hugged the big man, "Is it all right to send the boys in?"
"Sure, Waddie'll
be thrilled to know they came all this way to be with him." Buck said.
Earl D. and
Billy Bob came into the room. They hugged and kissed Buck
congratulating him on finding out this wonderful young cowboy, their
little brother, was his son. Buck was flabbergasted all these folks
knew, but he didn't have a clue. He didn't care, Waddie was his now,
and he wasn't ever going to let go. Earl D. sat in the chair next to
Waddie.
"Hey, little
brother, what the Hell you trying to do to your bubbas, Billy Bob'n me?
When we got the news we dropped everything we were doing to come with
dad an ma to be with our little brother. By the way, that boarding
house was so damn empty and quiet after you and Gip left. Them animals
would, one by one, come to your room and walk around in there missing
you. They all loved you and are praying for you, too. We had to cheer
Mrs. York up. She missed you two so much. Billy Bob and I sent Phil and
Ben to Austin. She felt so bad. She's praying for you, brother. Our
little brothers, especially Shad, cried their hearts out they couldn't
come and be with you. I thought I never would get our baby brother to
stop crying long enough to talk to. He told me he was the first one we
should've told. I asked him why? He told me you said he was the
closest in the family to God because he was the last person to be with
Him before coming here. God would listen to him. There ain't a doubt in
Billy Bob’s or my minds that He will, too.
Gus told us to
tell you he loves you and thanks you for helping him out the afternoon
you helped him with the Morgans. That was real special to him. Hey,— he
just squeezed my hand, Sheriff. There was more to that afternoon than
helping him with them damn ponies, wasn't there, cowboy?" Earl D.
chuckled. "That's right, I thought so. I bet Billy Bob my boots. Just
joking with ya,' cowboy. You know we love you. Felt that, sweet baby. I
know you can hear me, so do your best to get better soon, little
brother. We need you. We're looking forward to you, Gip and your
brothers visiting next summer. Now, I'm gonna' let my better brother
talk to you, my love. Here's Billy Bob."
Billy Bob took
Waddie's hand and he immediately felt Waddie gently squeeze it.
"Well, it's good
to see you again, too, little brother. I love you, too! I felt
your message through your hand. I told my better looking, smarter,
brother that if'n you and Gus shared something that afternoon, more
power to ya.' No two men deserved to share a little love with each
other more'n you and our dad, Gus. We think the world of that man and
his family as well. They love you and send their love. I'd give you a
big hug and a kiss from Brenda Lou and Ma Franz if'n I could. But I
better wait until you're a little better. Talk to the Big Man, Waddie.
We've been begging him to let you come back to us. Fight for it,
tiger. You're our little brother and we know what you're capable
of. Besides that, cowboy, you're a part of us, you're a Crenshaw man,
and,— damn it,— we don't wanna' have to do without you. I love you,
Waddie." Billy Bob felt Waddie gently squeeze his hand again and winked
at Buck. "He heard me,— " he told Buck.
"We'd better go
now and let you get some rest, sweet buckaroo. We'll be here for a
while." Earl D. said. He and Billy Bob left and sent in Enid Justin who
just arrived. She took one look at Waddie, hugged and kissed Buck and
sat down next to the bed. She took his hand.
"Now what the
Hell is this?" Enid spoke softly to him. "You laying up here in this
damn bed when there's rodeoing to be done. Hell,— from the sounds of
them Crenshaw folks you gotta' get better, little one. I'm 'a tell'n
you they ain't a’ gonna' take 'no' for an answer, neither. There are
some awful long, sad faces out there in that hospital waiting room. I
don't know if they're gonna' make it if'n you don't," she felt Waddie
squeeze her hand gently. "Awh, Hell, cowboy, you gotta' know your
Uncle Enid loves you. I won't kid you,— I don't know if'n I could do
without you either. There'd be one awful big hole in my heart if you
don't come back to us. I know you got the fight, cowboy, and you
certainly got the prayers coming your way. You got mine fer damn sure.
I cussed, shook my fist at the Old Man, then humbly got down on my
knees, told him how sorry I was for being mean, but I was a'
hurt'n inside for a very special cowboy. I asked him to help you come
back to us, Son. I ain't never stopped asking him and I won't.
Everybody out there's praying for our cowboy. Gil Saunders couldn't
talk to me when I told him. He had to call me back he was crying so
bad. He sends his love and is praying for you. Your little brothers are
worried sick. Besides, I'm counting on the four of you coming to
Bandera next summer and spending a day or two with your Uncle Enid. You
get some rest, my handsome buckaroo, and I'll be around to see you
again, real soon. Love you, cowboy."
Enid felt Waddie
squeeze her hand once more, and a tear rolled down Enid's face. She
told Buck how sorry she was this happened. Agatha called and told
her the news Waddie was his son. She said she hooped and hollered so
loud they could've heard her in three adjoining states. She
congratulated Buck and told him it truly was a miracle. She patted him
on the back like a buddy then left with a tear in her eye.
The morning of
the third day shortly before noon the Chief Deputy pulled his patrol
car up in front of the hospital with a huge bear of a man as passenger.
Bubba came directly to the station. He said a quick hello to Carol
Anderson and asked Lyle if he'd take him to the hospital. Lyle was more
than happy to take the big man and told him on the way things looked
grim. Waddie could barely respond, but they knew he was aware of what
was going on around him and who was there. Bubba slowly opened the
door, and saw Dan sitting there with Buck. The two men went to
him, hugged and kissed him, and told him to come in. He sat in the
chair next to Waddie and had big tears running down his face. He took
Waddie’s hand and just sat there for a minute. He barely felt Waddie
squeeze his hand.
"You know it's
your running buddy, don't you, cowboy?" Bubba managed to get out. Once
again he barely felt Waddie's gentle squeeze. He lost it again. "I'm
trying to be strong for you, sweet baby, but I'm afraid you're the one
what's gonna' have to be strong for old Bubba. It's breakin' my heart
to see you lying there like this. I need to see you get better to heal
this old heart of mine. I saw Mrs. Anderson for just a minute, she made
me promise to tell you she loves you, and she and Jannie are praying
for you. Seems like half the damn town is out there in the waiting room
on their knees praying for you, and Lyle Rawlings told me the other
half was in church praying for you. You gotta' come home to us, cowboy.
My being a good Samaritan couldn't have been for nothing. God just
ain't that cruel. He ain't cruel at all. I'm a' praying for you,
young'un, and I got every trucker and waitress worth their salt praying
for you, too. Most of all, cowboy, ya' gotta' live for this good man
beside me, here. He knows you're his boy now. You can call him
dad and really mean it. I love you, little buddy." Bubba said and felt
one light squeeze from Waddie's hand.
Bubba promised
Buck he'd be around for several days and would come back. He cried in
Buck's arms and told him he was so glad he knew the truth. Buck held on
to the big man like he was a rock he needed for support. Dan Justin
broke down in Bubba's arms, and they comforted each other. Buck
wouldn't let anyone else in to see Waddie from that point on. Dr. Dyer
said Waddie didn't seem to be responding the way he'd like. He was
fighting, but it was too soon to call. Doc. Dyer thought it best if
Waddie didn't have any more visitors for a while except immediate
family.
It was Wednesday
evening and Waddie had been in a coma since Friday night. Gip begged
his Dad to let him stay the night with Buck. His Dad could see the pain
in his eyes and knew his heart must be breaking. Dan told him he could.
Dan told Buck, he and Jimmy Sue were taking Linda Sue home with them.
They were going home and get some rest. They'd be back first thing in
the morning and bring them breakfast. Buck sat there awake most of the
night. Gip drifted off to sleep several times, but Buck didn't say
anything. He was glad Gip could get some rest. Buck would occasionally
snooze with his head on the bed next to Waddie's. The night was a long
one. He didn't try to talk to Waddie all night. He wanted him to rest.
Linda Sue and
Jimmy Sue brought him and Gip breakfast the next morning with a thermos
of coffee. They ladies left the room. Buck, Dan and Gip were
sitting there eating, drinking their coffee and talking quietly. Buck
thought he heard a small voice from somewhere.
"You never know
who you're gonna' run into in a closet anymore. Too damn much traffic!
Let's give 'em up, Dad, they're over rated."
Buck turned to
see his son's eyes open and smiling at him. He laughed at Waddie's joke
and almost spit out his breakfast. He couldn't put his food down fast
enough to take Waddie's hand.
"I told you I'd
be here to tell you I loved you, Son, and I meant it. I'll always be
here from now on. You're my boy now, and I ain't never gonna' let you
crawl into anymore damn closets if'n I can help it."
"I heard you
tell me that, Dad, and that was one of the main things that kept me
hanging on. I love you so much, Dad, and now you know. I've always been
your son. No one can ever take that away from us again."
"It's so good to
have you back again, sweet baby; lot of folks been praying for you."
"I know, and I
love them all, but lemme' have a bite of that, Dad, I'm s'damn hungry I
could eat a bear." Buck looked and smiled at his son.
"Of course you
can have a bite, but we'd better ask the doctor first. Oh, Son, I'm so
glad you're back, I love you, Waddie." Buck leaned over and kissed
Waddie on the cheek.
"I love you,
too, Dad, and I had to come back. I couldn't leave two men who loved me
as much as you and Dad Dan to say nothing of my handsome, cowboy
brother. So, ya'll gotta' know I love you."
"We love
you, too, cowboy,— I'm gonna' get Doc. Dyer." Dan ran out and announced
to everyone, Waddie was awake and hungry. Everyone was excited, in
tears, praising God, hugging and kissing each other.
"My little
brother, come up here and give your big brother a big ole kiss,
darlin.'" Gip kissed Waddie, Waddie put his arms around Gip and pulled
him closer. Buck had to turn away he almost lost it again. "You be the
main reason I came back, darlin,' but chu' knew that all ready. God, I
love you, Gip."
"I love you,
too, big brother."
Doc. Dyer drove
into the parking lot. He'd gone home to eat and change clothes. He was
thrilled to hear the news and went to Waddie's side. He had tears in
his eyes as he checked him out. He poked and prodded. Took his
temperature, his pulse and talked to him.
"You really
hungry, Son?" Doc. Dyer asked.
"Bring the cow
in the room with salt and pepper. Don't bother to kill it!" Waddie said
drolly and winked at Doc. Dyer. The doctor laughed.
"Sense of humor
is a good sign, young man. Welcome back. You damn near scared me to
death. We'll get you a tray, but,— you can only have liquids and soft
food for several days. At least through the weekend."
"Ah, darn,— I
had my heart set on a steak." Buck and Dan laughed with the doctor.
"By the way,
Doctor,— what ever happened to that poor woman who backed into the
airplane propeller?" Dr. Dyer looked at Waddie in amazement and laughed.
"You heard that?
You were out. There's no way in Hell,— ! Oh, I give up!"
"I watched you
and Dr. Baker hose out my guts with a red, rubber hose with a funny
little brass thing on the end of it. I watched him sew me up, too. Did
a damn good job. Please, thank him for me until I can thank him myself."
"You were out,
how could you possibly know,— oh, never mind. When will I learn?" Doc.
Dyer laughed and rolled his eyes toward heaven.
"And I have some
wonderful things to tell you and Mrs. Dyer about a beautiful little
girl I met. I spent the afternoon with her sitting on my lap and talked
to her and your dad; another Dr. Dyer. She said to give you both a big
hug and a kiss, tell you she loves her name and she's happy living with
your mom and dad. She sat in my lap and we talked for hours, Doc. She
didn't wanna' let me go."
"Don't tell me
another thing until I get my wife here. I want you to rest first. He
can have a few visitors but not all at once; a few minutes at a time;
agreed, Dad?" Dr. Dyer spoke looking directly at Buck.
"Agreed, Doc."
Buck took Dr. Dyer in his arms and hugged him; then, it was Dan's turn.
Dr. Dyer had a couple of tears in his eyes.
* * * * * * *
Waddie began to
quickly recover. He had such great joy in visiting with the folks who
had come to his side to be with him. He spent almost a whole day with
Bubba, Earl D., Billy Bob, Ma and Pa Crenshaw and his brothers. He was
so glad to see them, and they were thrilled he was getting better. They
phoned home to Bandera right from the room. He talked to everyone back
there including his favorite. Shad was crying on the phone, and
Waddie tried to console him.
"Oh, Waddie,
don't never scare me like that again. I had to do some powerful pray'n
to pull you through this, big brother." Waddie smiled and wanted to
giggle, but he didn't.
"You know,
little brother, — my angel told me when the Old Man got your prayers
they were the ones what put the vote for me coming back over the fence.
The Good Lord told Mr. Urial, he didn't have no choice, Shad Crenshaw's
been pray'n for his big brother, and I have to let Waddie go back. As
much as I love the cowboy, I can't hold on to him when Shad needs him."
"Really, Waddie?
God and your angel said that?"
"Shad, now
what'd I tell you the first rule of being a cowboy is?"
"A cowboy don't
never lie. I believe you, Waddie."
"You just
remember to thank him for hear'n your prayers, Shad, and tell him how
much you love him. He'll appreciate that. So will I, sweet baby. I love
you so much, little brother, for your love and prayers. Thanks, Shad."
"You're welcome,
Waddie. I love you, too. Come see me soon's you can."
"I promise."
Waddie then
talked last to Dad Gus and cried on the phone with him. Gus could
barely talk to him.
"So glad you
came home to us, Son. Don't know if'n my old heart could give you up.
You know I love you, come see us real soon."
"I love you,
too, Dad Gus."
Waddie shared
many things he spoke to Thane about with the Crenshaws. They were all
in tears their boy took care of their other boy while he was in a coma.
He told them stories Thane related to him they never told Waddie and
only they could have known. He told Earl D. intimate secrets only he
and Thane shared. They had no doubt Thane took him by the hand and
loved him while he was away. It only made Waddie and Gip all the more
close to the Crenshaws and Franz.
He was sitting
up by the third day out of coma and was able to have a lot of his
family come in and visit. Ma and Pa Crenshaw had to get back and said
their tearful goodbyes. Earl D. and Billy Bob stayed a while longer to
ride back with Bubba so they wouldn't have to ride in the back of the
pickup truck. Waddie was pleased his bothers could spend a little more
time with him. He got cards from all over the place. Every brother in
Bandera made a card and sent to him. Of course his favorite was Shad's.
It was so plain and sweet. Waddie cried when he read it. It was good to
be alive, and it was good to feel the love of his family surrounding
him. Their love was like a deep well of healing water he was welcome to
drink from to heal his body and his spirit. There seemed to be a never
ending flow from the springs of their hearts that poured into him like
the waters from a winter's thaw. The doctor couldn't believe how fast
he was recovering.
Waddie told his
dad and granddad about visiting with his great-granddad. He told his
dad his granddad was a copy of him and his dad. He was outrageous and
had something funny to say about everything. He told his dad stories
about him and his granddad only he could know. He told his granddad a
couple his great-granddad related to Waddie about him he never even
told his son. Buck wept that his granddad had a chance to meet and be
with his boy.
"Yeah, Pa
Claymore," Waddie chuckled, "he told me about the day you and him went
fishing, crossed this field to get to the river, but ya'll didn't know
there was a bull in the pasture. He told me all his fishing tackle
ended up on the bottom of the river after the bull ran the two of you
off the bank." Buck and his dad roared with laughter and slapped each
other on the back. "He told me you dived all afternoon until you found
his tackle box. He said you both had a great afternoon swimming but
cha'll didn't catch no fish." again everyone laughed.
His brothers
were there everyday to sit with him. Oatie had much to tell him and
Clyde let him. The four got their heads together the fifth day and
called in Lyle, Don, Quinton, the sheriff and Dad Dan. Mr. Urial told
Waddie before he came back now was the time to lower the hammer on
Willie. The men gathered in Waddie's room. Buck knew his boys well
enough to know just about what was coming and told Dan before they
walked in the room.
"They're gonna'
deliver the boxcar robbers to us, and there was a practical reason they
couldn't tell us 'til now."
The boys told
the men exactly who, when and how the boxcar was broken into and where
they hid the stash. They told of conversations the four of them
overheard of Willie and his gang. They also told why they were afraid
to say anything 'til now. Furthermore, their angel told them not to
until Waddie came back this time. Now was the time to let their crime
be known. Now, they could be tried as adults. The deputies and Buck
were astounded the boys went to such lengths to keep Willie and his
crew from getting the loot. Waddie told Buck exactly where to look in
Willie's closet for proof of stolen guns and ammunition; they probably
could find the same in the other boy's houses. Sure enough, they found
Willie's stuff under the floor boards of his closet, and the same with
the other three boys. Buck couldn't have been prouder of his boys and
Dan was ready to bust a button.
The Cotton Belt
railroad was so glad to get their stolen property back they gave each
boy a hundred dollar reward. Once again the four boys were heroes in
the small community. They had a quick trial for the four and with
charges upon charges they each got six years in Huntsville State Pen.
Child molesters don't do well in the prison. Willie became the boy of a
huge con by the name of Big Joe. Big Joe took one look at Willie's
tight, little, athletic butt and got a hard-on that dripped to get
between those little cheeks. He pulled strings and had Willie
transferred to his cell within a couple of days. And, Big Joe,— well,
he didn't get that name because he was small anywhere. He was said to
have the biggest dick in the whole damn prison.
Lucky Willie got
himself a husband. Willie was giving up his ass to Big Joe a least once
a day and sometimes twice. To say nothing of the number of blow jobs
Willie was expected to give Big Joe and his buddies. All Big Joe
had to do was snap his fingers at Willie, he was on his knees in front
of one of Big Joe's buddies, undoing his pants and getting his cock out
to get it in his mouth as fast as possible. If he didn't he wouldn't
get out of bed for a week. Big Joe would beat him within an inch of his
life. Willie learned to be a right nice cocksucker and wife to Big Joe.
He didn't smart mouth or talk back to Big Joe much. He was too afraid
and too busy being a good little wife. The boys were really happy to
know Willie made friends so quickly. Well, they agreed, there was no
question, he was a good looking man with the buns of death. Big Joe
thought so, too.
* * * * * * * Waddie
reluctantly stayed in the hospital another week. He wanted to get out
because the summer was almost over and the boys were going to have to
get back to school. He grumbled, but he knew the doctor knew best. He
was anxious to go home with his mom and dad. Waddie and his mom
had many long talks by themselves and grew more and more close. Linda
Sue couldn't believe Waddie had no bad feelings toward her. He told her
she shouldn't beat herself up. She did what she thought was right at
the time. By the time Waddie got out of the hospital, Linda Sue was
ready to become Waddie's full time mom. She was elated. She couldn't
thank Aunt Agatha and Jimmy Sue enough. She hugged and thanked Dan
Justin for loving Waddie as much as he did. He assured her loving
Waddie was one of the easiest things he'd ever done.
Her friends and
the community watched her change over night. She became a mature
responsible woman. She became more active in community activities and
ultimately accepted a position on the school board. Auntie Boo was
included in many of their talks, and she came to love and appreciate
her niece even more from the proud and heroic way she handled herself
through all of this. Aunt Agatha was so happy and proud of her role in
this miracle she couldn't thank Waddie and Gip enough. They were
only too happy to have her love for her thanks. Their Auntie Boo
continued to be the four boy's counsel on everything from family
matters to girls. They were never afraid to write or call their Auntie
Boo about any subject. They could always expect sound advice.
Buck couldn't
tell Morgan Waddie turned out to be his boy after all. He didn't think
Morgan would believe him, anyway. Furthermore, he wasn't real happy
Morgan almost killed his boy twice. He told Ma and Pa Lovejoy to tell
him, but only if they wanted to. They knew Buck wasn't going to stop
them from seeing Waddie. They were still his grandparents as far as
Buck was concerned. Hell, he still thought of Ma and Pa Lovejoy as his
other set of parents. He'd do anything in the world for them and proved
it many times.
They chose to
tell their son; however, Buck was right. He wouldn't believe it and
told them it was all a trumped up lie to take his son away from him.
Morgan's parents got copies of the sworn affidavits, the sheriff's
report and the letter from the Chief of Staff of the Methodist Hospital
in Dallas and showed Morgan. He still wouldn't believe it. However,
after a couple more years growth when anyone saw Waddie and Buck
standing next to each other they looked like bookends. There was no
doubt in anyone's mind in the community and Morgan finally had to admit
they looked too damn much alike not to be father and son. The town folk
really did start to refer to Waddie as Buck junior. Buck beamed when
they called Waddie Buck junior. Waddie walked a little taller, too.
Morgan managed
to talk to the judge in their small town and arranged to have his
marriage to Judy annulled. While the judge wasn't too crazy about what
Morgan had done to Waddie he figured Morgan had suffered enough at the
hands of those people and rid him of them. Morgan also followed the
court order to the letter and didn't try to see or speak to Waddie.
Morgan was no longer legally married to Judy and told her she could
take off anytime she wanted. He didn't want anymore to do with
her. She asked if she could stay on as his housekeeper for food
and a place to stay at least until she had her baby. He agreed and even
gave her a small salary over and above money for food and running the
house. He paid all the bills.
* * * * * *
Waddie's heart
softened towards Morgan as the year went on. They were well past the
six month period but Morgan didn't made any effort to contact Waddie.
Thanksgiving of that year Buck asked Waddie what he thought about
inviting Morgan.
"I think it
would be a great idea, Dad. I certainly won't be afraid of Morgan with
my family around, and what can he say to me anyway? He knows I'm your
boy; lock, stock and birth certificate. Truth is, Dad, I still love
Morgan and I miss him. I know why you loved him so much as a brother
and still do. We need to repair that in our lives." said Waddie. Buck
took Waddie in his arms and kissed him gently on the forehead and held
him.
"Have I told you
today, I love you?"
"Let's see,— ?
When you woke me up this morning. When we got into the shower, while we
were showering, after we got out of the shower, after breakfast, before
we came to the Justin’s, on the way to the Justin’s, after we got here,
and three times since,— "
"All right! All
right!" Buck giggled, "Your old man loves you! Get use to it! Ya' hear!"
"You don't love
me a whit more'n I love you, Dad. Just to call you my dad is an act of
love for me, Sheriff Claymore." Waddie told Buck. Buck hugged and
kissed him again.
"Okay, we'll try
to patch that hole in our road. He may not come. I'll be surprised if
he does."
Buck invited
Morgan, but since Judy was legally not his wife anymore, Buck made it
clear, the invitation didn't include her. Morgan told him he'd let him
know. About a week later Morgan handed Buck a letter for Waddie, and
told him to read it first. If Buck thought the letter was all right,
then give it to Waddie. Morgan said he would come for Thanksgiving if
Waddie could find it in his heart to be his friend. Otherwise, it would
be too painful for him. Buck read Morgan's letter.
Dearest Waddie,
It's been almost
a year since I've spoken with you. I've seen you around town with your
friends going past. I appreciate your smiles and waving to me. It said
to me, I don't think you're a monster, you still deserve a smile and to
be acknowledged. That simple gesture's helped me more than you'll ever
know. For once in my life I didn't try to read more into something than
was really there. It’s just part of your spirit of giving that I've
always admired and cherished.
To say to you
I'm sorry for what I did is not enough for what I put you through. You
used to tell me the punishment was not what hurt you the most. What
hurt you was I didn't believe in you or trust you enough to give you
the benefit of the doubt. You were right, and I know how you must have
felt. No one believes in me or trusts me anymore. Not because I lied to
anyone, but because, I didn't believe the truth the only person in my
world who truly loved me was trying to tell me.
I was wrong,
Waddie, and for that I'm so very sorry. I know no words I can use to
make you understand the extent of my sorrow. What I did to you was
horrible, Waddie. I have no defense about the way I treated you. Buck
was right, if I came upon a man beating a pony, the way I beat you, for
whatever reason, I'd want to kill him. Yet, there I was, doing the same
damn thing to someone I loved. I still ask myself, "How could I have
done that?" I don't have an answer; certainly not one that would make
any sense. However, I am making a concerted effort to find out why.
You knew all
along I wasn't your real dad and Judy wasn't your ma. You were right, I
was telling you a big lie while demanding the truth from you. I was a
hypocrite. I was the one lying to you. You never lied to me. You tried
to warn me, but I only laughed at you and your talk of an angel and
God. I'm not laughing anymore. I hope and pray I've come to my senses
by realizing what I lost. I think I have. I know I can never be your
dad again. I accept that and won't try, but I can't forget the love we
shared.
It was special
and for all my journey through this life it was the most valuable thing
I ever had. I guess that old saying is true after all, "You never know
how important something is to you until you've lost it." The grief I've
suffered over the loss of your love has been almost too much to bear.
For what I did I deserved to suffer that grief as painful as it may
seem.
I'm reaching out
to you to express my deepest hope to you. I would consider it an honor
and privilege if you could find it in your heart to be my friend. I'm
not asking for more than that but if you do, I'll do my damnedest to
see I never betray that trust. I'm not asking for immediate
forgiveness. I expect, to earn your friendship and love. It will take
time, but I'm willing to try if you'll let me. I know I don't deserve
it, but I'm asking for one more chance to show my love for you.
I love you,
Waddie,
Morgan
Buck promised
he'd give Waddie the letter and bring Morgan his reply. Buck gave the
letter to Waddie. His dad told him to take it into his room, read it by
himself and make up his own mind as to his reply. It was Waddie's
decision, but Buck didn't want to influence him.
Waddie sat down
at his desk and wrote a short reply to Morgan's letter.
Dear Morgan,
I would be happy
for you to join the family for Thanksgiving. I have no problem
considering you for a friend; however, right now, I can't forgive and I
won't forget for exactly the reason you stated in your letter. Not for
the beatings or the pain afterwards, I've all ready forgiven you for
that. What I can't forgive is not trusting me and denying my love for
you by thinking I would have done those things you were punishing me
for; especially, cutting the pony. I would never do that, and to have
you think and insist I did was the greatest hurt of all. Maybe, one
day, if we become friends, I can tell you I forgive you, and then, I'll
try to forget. God wants us to forgive those who trespass against us,
but he didn't specify a time limit. If you're serious about being my
friend then you'll understand there are two things I will not tolerate;
I will never allow you to talk 'at' me again. I'll talk 'with' you as
long as you like, but if you ever doubt me again, there won't be
another chance. I think, after what I've been through, I have the right
to demand that of you;— no,— I have the right to demand that of
any man who seeks my friendship. I don't think that's too much to ask;
after all, it's all I ever asked of you.
Waddie
Waddie folded
the letter neatly and inserted it into a nice envelope. He walked into
the living room and asked his dad to read it aloud so his mom could
hear it, too. Buck did and had tears in his eyes as he finished.
"Do you think
I'm being too mean by demanding those things, Dad?"
"No, Son, I
don't. I think it's a beautiful letter, but it tells him you're not
going to run jump into a friendship with him if’n he ain't willing to
take the time to earn your trust."
"I liked the
part about God didn't set a time limit on forgiveness. I never thought
about it that way, but it's something to consider. I'd say it applied
perfectly in this case." said Waddie's mom.
"Yeah, me, too!"
said his dad. "It tells him, 'If you work at it, I may forgive you;
however, if you ain't interested, I still may forgive you, but you'll
never know.' No, Son, I think this is a fine letter, and I'll take it
to him tomorrow; then the ball will be in his court. You've left it up
to him whether he wants to be your friend on your terms, and you're
right, you have every right in the world to demand he never doubt you
again. I love my brother deeply, but this has to be between you and
him. I may offer you advice but I won't tell you what to do. So far, I
don't think I've needed to offer you a Hell of a lot of advice. You
seem to have your head on pretty straight about this. I hadn't
considered you'd given it much thought."
"I've thought
about Morgan a lot, Dad. You don't turn love on and off. At least I
can't. Maybe there are folks like Judy and Dorothy who can but I don't
want anyone like them in my life. Between you and mom, I still love
Morgan. He was the only dad I had for the first five years of my life.
It's hard for me not to love him like a dad, but I'll never, again,
share that with him. With four loving men in my life I consider to be
my dads there isn't room for one who doesn't trust or believe in me.
'Course you're my main man, Dad, you always will be. You know that but
you're big enough and secure enough in our love you have no problem
sharing. I've been thinking a lot about what Mr. Urial told me about
helping Morgan get away from those people. I can't very well help him
unless I have some communication with him. Maybe we can be friends, but
I've done my begging and pleading with him. I'll wait and see how much
he wants to be my friend."
"Make's sense to
me,— you, dear?" Buck asked Waddie's mom.
"A lot of sense.
I don't think it would take much to get him away from Judy. I don't
think Morgan is the kind of man who can live by himself though."
"One problem at
a time, Mom." Waddie laughed.
* * * * * *
Morgan was
deeply touched by Waddie's letter. He had no problem with Waddie's
demands. It was, as he stated, after all, what he'd asked from the
beginning. Morgan finally woke up to the fact he was bankrupt when it
came to his record of trust and learning to love. He hit bottom and his
pride finally turned into introspection. He had nowhere to go but up.
He saw the journey as one step at a time, one day at a time. He was
intent on change and unbeknownst to everyone was seeking therapy one
day a week in the next largest town.
Morgan did
attend Thanksgiving and was welcomed by all. Everyone heard Waddie
asked him to come and that was enough for them. They were gracious and
kind to him. Waddie went to him, put his arms around him, hugged him,
and gave him a kiss right on the mouth. Morgan didn't hold back.
Neither did he misinterpret Waddie's welcome to be more than that, but
he was humbled and pleased. With everyone standing around the
Thanksgiving table holding hands, Dad Dan asked Waddie if he would say
the blessing. Waddie said a fine prayer that expressed what most were
thinking, but at the last he added his own thanks.
"And most of all
we're thankful to have one of our family with us who has been away for
a while. Thank you, Lord, for guiding him back to us. Our family
wouldn't be complete without him. Help him and guide him, Lord, and
give him wisdom, strength, and courage to find and know love again. We
ask in Jesus name." Waddie said, "Amen" and the rest of the family
echoed it. Morgan was in tears in his dad's arms and later thanked
Waddie for the sentiment. Thus began a great period of healing between
Morgan and the family. He was invited and came to most family functions
he was home for. He was good to his promise to Waddie. He worked hard
at becoming Waddie's friend. He never imposed nor insisted he have his
way. He gave to Waddie and joyfully accepted from him.