“Thank you, Son,
that was the best damn blow job you ever gimme." I really
appreciate it. That was special. You always put your all
into sucking this old man’s dick. You made me feel like a new
man.” Vince said to Logan as he was cleaning Vince’s dick so he
could return it to his pants.
“That’s what
you’ve said about ever’ blow job I give you, Mr. Longhorn.” Logan
chided him gently. “Just lemme’ say,— it’s always an honor, Sir,
when you allow me to suck you off. I’m the one who appreciates
you humoring me for the last couple of years and sharing yourself with
me.”
“You know how I
feel about chu,’ little bit. You’re one of my boys, Son, and I
love you. By the way, I heard through the grapevine yore’ daddy
sort a’ came down pretty hard on you the other evening.”
“Naw, Sir, Mr.
Longhorn, he’s jes’ concerned about me, and like ever’body else, he was
accusing me of being in love with you. I asked him what give ‘em
his first clue?” Logan laughed and so did Vince. “My
daddy’s got one hell of a short memory. I never made it no
secret. I done told ever’body five years ago when I saw you stand
up to the Colonel, I decided right then and there, you was a man I
respected and I was gonna’ love, Sir. I ain’t never stopped
love’n you since?
Vince and Logan
bonded the two weeks Logan stayed with him. It wasn’t a lovers
bond because each knew it was temporary and they would go on with their
lives after Casey returned. It was a bond of love, respect and
admiration on both their parts that was as gratifying as it was
comfortable. Logan knew he could tell Vince Longhorn anything,
and the man would listen intelligently and give Logan his best
considered, and thoughtful response. They developed a more mature
relationship apart from fathers and sons, and whatever they told each
other never left the room.
“I told my daddy
and Sticker,— Mr. Wiggins told me I could call him Sticker now,—
anyway,— I done told ‘em, ‘yes’ it’s true, I love Mr. Longhorn, but I
ain’t ‘in’ love with him. Why is that so hard for people to
understand, Mr. Longhorn? I can love my brothers and not be ‘in’
love with them. I can love my dad and Sticker, but I ain’t ‘in’
love with ‘em. You’re about the only person I can tell I love
him, without taking it the wrong way. You know I think of you as
my second dad, Mr. Longhorn. I think of you as a mentor, as
someone to emulate, and I’d do anything in the world for you or my
brothers.”
“I know you
would, little bit. You’ve proved yourself to us many times. Does
it bother you a lot, Son?”
“Naw, Sir,—
well, maybe a little,— I jes’ don’t understand it, and it kinda
frustrates me. It makes me feel bad sometimes. Casey and
Dwayne kid me all the damn time about my school boy crush on you.
I don’t think it’s fair. I don’t kid Dwayne about having no
school boy crush on his dad. I don’t kid Casey that way
neither. They both have special relationships with you and Mr.
Harding, but I don’t know’s I could ever kid them that a’ way.
I’d never tell Dwayne he has a crush on his dad or Casey has a crush on
you.
It jes’ don’t
make no sense, Mr. Longhorn. Why can’t they understand I love you
like Dwayne loves you,— like one of Casey’s brothers? Hell,— you
tell me you love me all the time, Mr. Longhorn. I know you love
me, ‘cause you show me love ever’ damn time I come over here. You
never fail to tell me you love me when I come over here. I don’t
take it the wrong way. I know how you mean it. I like to
come over here because ya’ll make me feel welcome. I like to feel
loved by you and my brothers. What’s wrong with that?”
“There ain’t a
damn thing wrong with it, Son. I never felt you were confused
about my love for you, and I sure as hell ain’t confused about chore’
love for me. As long as you and me understands one another, does
all the rest matter?”
“Naw, Sir, I
guess it don’t. It jes’ makes me think people who think that way
are underestimating me and implying I don’t have a grip on my
emotions. I think I managed to convince my dad and Sticker the
other evening, I ain’t some drooling lovesick hound dog what comes over
here to follow you around like a sad eyed puppy.” Logan
said. Vince couldn’t help but laugh. He felt the young
man’s frustration.
“Son, I know you
so well by now, and part of loving someone is trying to understand
them. I’ve never felt unclear about our relationship or your
intentions towards me. I do know this is leading up to something,
though,— ain’t it?”
Logan smiled at
Vince. He knew Vince Longhorn understood him better than anyone
and could easily see through his purposes. For that, he had mixed
feelings.
“I jes’ wanted
you to know, if you ever need me again like you did when Casey and
Dwayne were gone for two weeks, I’m here for you and Casey. I
don’t want you to think I have any other motives than to help you and
Casey. I think Casey thinks I spent those two weeks with you
because I had a giant crush on you and jumped at the chance to be with
you. I won’t deny some of it was true, because I did want you to
be my first, but I did it as much for Casey as I did for you or
me. If you chose not to do anything with me, I would’ve still
been proud to do it. I guess it all boils down to, I feel like
what efforts I put out to help somebody are being looked on as
selfishly motivated, and I don’t think that’s fair.”
“It ain’t fair,
Son, but I know different from them. You’re forgetting one big
factor here, that’s my feelings and how I feel about it. Do you
think I took you for yore’ first time, popped chore’ cherry, out of
some great altruistic need? That may have been a small factor,
but my personal enjoyment was ninety-five percent of the
experience. I enjoyed it as much as you did, or I would ‘a never
done it. At least, I wouldn’t ‘a done it again. It wouldn’t
‘a been a good experience for you if’n I didn’t enjoy it. It’s
all part of what you’re talking about here and now. It’s about
being appreciated. You want what any man wants. You wanna’
be loved, respected and appreciated. Did I fail to do that with
you?”
“Lord, no, Mr.
Longhorn, that’s why I’m talking with you about this now. You
don’t shine me on, tell me it’s all my imagination or it’s not
important. I know you love me. You respect and appreciate
me enough to listen. To me, that’s the greater part of my love
for you. You’re like a second dad to me. I can talk with you
without fear of you taking it the wrong way. When you took me for
my first time, it was like a rite of passage, and I wanted it to be
with someone I loved, admired, respected, and trusted to take me
through it, and share it with me. You were wonderful, Mr.
Longhorn, for doing it for me, and I’ll always appreciate and love you
for it; however, whatever we did afterwards was icing on the
cake. I looked at it as fringe benefits of the job.” Logan
grinned. Vince laughed and nodded his head in agreement.
“Maybe we’re
both being underestimated, Son. I enjoyed what we done and if you
think I did it because I’m a cold, calculating man like the Colonel,
you’re wrong. I enjoyed it as much as you did. Let me put
it another way. I realize I have to be somewhat dependent on
others for my well being. It’s the price I pay everyday for
fighting for my country. I ain't complaining none, mind ju,’ it’s
just a fact; however, whoever I get to assist me is very important.
Let’s face it,—
assisting a man with his personal hygiene and sleeping with him night
after night becomes a pretty intimate thing. I don’t wanna’ be
assisted by jes’ anybody, or somebody who don’t understand my
needs. If you weren’t who you are, or the man I know you to be, I
would ‘a never felt comfortable enough to have you stay with me those
two weeks. As it turned out, I think it was a wonderful
experience for both of us. If it came to be I didn’t have Casey
to assist me for a while, I wouldn’t want nobody else but you,
Son. You showed me the love, respect and appreciation I need to
accept your assistance. I certainly hope I showed you the same.”
Logan threw his
arms around Vince’s neck and hugged him.
“Of course you
did, Mr. Longhorn, and you do understand what I’m talking about.
I new in my heart you would. That’s part of why I love you.
You’ve been a respected mentor to me, and I guess I jes’ wanted you to
know I’m here if you ever need me.”
“That’s damn
good to know, Son, and I appreciate you letting me know. Rance
has been talk’n to them boy about doing it again this summer and
I may call on you to help me again. As long as we understand each
other, who cares what others think? I know you can’t help but
care. That’s because you’re a caring person. I think we
both get what we need from each other on a healthy basis, and I don’t
see no need to overanalyze it. You’re my boy, little bit, jes’
like Dwayne and Casey. I don’t love you a whit less than I love
them.”
“That’s the way
I want you to love me, Mr. Longhorn, and it’s the way I wanna’ love
you. I think it’s so simple other folks wanna’ read a lot more
into it that jes’ ain’t there.”
“I agree.
Now! You wouldn’t be concerned about all this unless something
else was stuck in yore’ craw,— something you ain’t telling me, little
bit.”
“Damn,— that’s
one of the things about our relationship that disturbs me. Sometimes,
you can see things I don’t want you to see. I don’t wanna’ lie to
you, Mr. Longhorn, so please, don’t ask me no more questions.”
“That tells me
all I need to know, Son. Do you feel better now?”
“Yeah, I always
do, Mr. Longhorn. After I’ve sucked you off and had a good talk
with you, I feel a lot better. Thanks, Mr. Longhorn, I appreciate
it, Sir.”
“You know you’re
welcome, boy, and it was the best blow job you ever gimme.’ I
know I say the same damn thing ever’ time, but the truth is,— you do
git better every time. You shoulda’ figured that out. Look
how fast you got me off compared to the first time you done it.”
“You’re right,
Mr. Longhorn. Thanks, Sir.”
“Yore’ certainly
welcome, Son.”
* * * * * * *
Later that
evening, Logan left to go home. He had to get up early the next
morning because he was going with his dad to a board meeting to observe
and learn more about his dad’s business holdings. Logan got so
good with his mind reading skills he could tell when someone was lying
in an instant. Sticker shared with his mate his son’s additional
talent, but Sidney wouldn’t believe him at first. Then slowly,
without confronting Logan, he began to see it all made sense.
Sidney took it in stride like he did everything in life, and it didn’t
bother him. He did, however, have a serious talk with Logan.
Sidney saw a raw
talent in his boy that could make Logan a business giant being able to
tell people’s motivation and truthfulness. He developed a signal
with his son. If someone was lying to him in a meeting, Logan
would play with his left ear. If he didn’t do anything, Sidney
knew they were telling him the truth. Logan already saved Sidney
millions in only two negotiations. His dad needed him the next
day.
Dwayne was with
us for dinner and we sat down to eat. Dad was more quiet and
reserved than usual. I knew something was on his mind, but I also
knew better than to push. We were having dessert when dad spoke.
“I wanna’ talk
with you men about something what disturbs me, and I think you both
should give it some serious thought. You’re grown men now, and I
ain’t gonna’ order you to do something. You make your own
decisions about how you live your lives and conduct yourself; however,
when you’re in my house you will do well to heed to my words.”
“What is it,
dad?” I asked him concerned. I hadn’t seen my dad so
serious about anything in a long time.
“You and your
brother ride your little brother mercilessly about what you call his
‘school boy crush’ on me. Don’t deny it ‘cause I’ve heard you do
it, time after time. That ain’t fair of you two, and in my house
it will cease immediately as of tonight. Do I make myself clear,
gentlemen?”
“Yes, Sir, Dad.”
“Yes, Sir, Mr.
Longhorn.”
“We’s only
kidding with him, Dad.” I said.
“Does he kid you
about having a crush on me, Casey? Dwayne, does he kid you about
having a crush on yore’ dad? Does he kid you about having a crush
on Lamar?”
“No, Dad, he
don’t.” I responded for both of us. Dwayne hung his head
and shook it ‘no.’
“He’s allowed
you men to grow up, and I think it’s high time you allowed him to grow
up. It’s time you accept him as your adult brother and not jest’
as your ‘little kid brother.’ You two gang up on him and pick on
him. That’s the kind of shit school kids do to each other to
establish a pecking order; jes’ like a damn flock a’
chickens. What chore’ doing to that young man is worse than high
school shit, gentlemen. You’re grown men for cries sakes, you
ain't in grade school no more. You’re almost twenty-one Gotdamn
years old! I suggest you start acting as adults toward your
little brother and grant him the same damn privilege.
“Did he say
something to you, Dad?”
“He didn’t have
to. I hear you men ragging his ass. He’s hurt and
embarrassed by it. Besides, I think you men are way off base
here. He left here this evening almost in tears. It didn’t
take no rocket scientist to figure out why.”
“We never
thought,—” Dwayne started, but dad interrupted him.
“‘At’s jest’
it! You men didn’t think! That’s why I’m tell’n ya,’ you
need to seriously rethink this one. He’s a damn good kid and
loves the two of you without question. He’s proved himself over
and over. He’s gone to the wall for both of you. Cut ‘em
some slack, gentlemen.”
Dad got up from
the table and started clearing the dishes. The conversation was
over. He made his point and Dwayne and I sat there looking at
each other knowing we had no defense. Dad was right, we just
never stopped to think about it. My brother was nailed to one
barn door and me to the other. I usually spoke for my brother and
me, but Dwayne surprised me.
“You’re right,
Mr. Longhorn,— we ain't got no defense. We been doing it so long
it jes’ became sort of a thing we do. He’s so good natured we
jes’ thought he understood we was kidding. We didn’t take his
feelings into consideration and we should have. God knows we love
our little brother and would go to the wall for him in a second.
I guess the bottom line is, if you truly love somebody you don’t treat
‘em that a’ way. We’re sorry, Mr. Longhorn, of course we’ll
stop immediately. You don’t have to worry none, Sir, about us
doing it in your house no more. I guarantee we won’t be doing it
any place,— right, bro?”
“Couldn’t ‘a
said it no better myself, brother. We’re really sorry, Dad, I
wish you’d ‘a said something sooner. Do you think we should
apologize to him?”
“I think the
less said about it the better. Jes’ stop doing it.”
“We promise, Mr.
Longhorn, we will. Actually, I feel kinda ashamed of myself.”
“Yeah,— me, too,
brother.” I supported my brother.
* * * * *
* *
We kept our word
to dad and didn’t tease our little brother again. When Logan
realized we totally stopped our kidding, Dwayne and I watched him
change into a fine adult young man we became more and more proud
of. He loved us and my dad without question, but now he found
himself free to love without being embarrassed about it. He
became more open with us and shared many things with Dwayne and me he
never told us before. His relationship with my dad became
redefined in everyone’s mind. They truly loved each other but as
adult men who knew the flow of life and appreciated its goodness.
The three of us
turned twenty-one. Our eighteenth birthday seemed a lot more
important to us than our twenty-first. We sort of sailed through
it attaching little importance to it. We could now drink, but
none of us did. The three of us tasted it from time to time,
decided we didn’t care for it and could live quite happily without
it. We would sometimes try a glass of wine at dinner with Mr.
Wainright and Sticker. It was okay, but I’d much rather had a
tall mason jar of iced tea. Sticker gave Dwayne and me permission
to call him ‘Sticker’ within the same week he told our little
brother. He felt we all passed his criterion for manhood.
* * * * * * *
After one more
summer of playing cowboy with my brother for Cousin Rance, I found
myself growing more and more restless as time went on. I wanted
to go out and see the world, but I felt trapped at home with dad.
I tried to get dad to go rodeoing with me for just one year, but he
wouldn’t. We’d been traveling all over going to rodeos
anyway. How much different could it be to just stay on the road
for a year? I mentioned I might like to go back to Texas to meet
my granddad. Boy, was that was a disaster? (author’s note:
see chapter one.) I loved my dad and would never consciously
harbor any feelings of resentment; however, Mr. Winchester was quick to
point out what our conscious mind won’t admit, or we choose not to deal
with, our subconscious mind will automatically do it for us,— for
better or for worse.
We never really
argued as such. It became more of a battle of the wits with dad
lambasting me with his vented rage using the most colorful words
imaginable. He would trip my internal funny bone, and I’d say
something equally ridiculous that would have us holding each other with
laughter. We’d have our say and usually end up in bed fucking
like snakes. That was all well and good, but I knew something
deep inside me felt like I was about to explode. Rance pulled me
aside one night and asked me what was wrong. I realized I must
have been wound pretty damn tight for him to notice.
Dwayne was still
living with the Winchesters and paid his own way. They set a
reasonable fee for room and board, and he and Rance were more than
happy to pay. The Winchesters were thrilled Dwayne chose to stay
with them after high school. I couldn’t visit Dwayne too often or
I’d be fat as a pig. Donna always had some new cake or pie we just had
to try, and they were always delicious. They couldn’t do enough
for him or me for that matter. One afternoon, while I was
visiting Dwayne, Mr. Winchester asked to talk with me alone in his
office. Spencer never invited you to his office unless he had
something of importance to discuss with you.
“You need
somebody to talk with, Casey?” he asked me.
“Talk about
what, Mr. Winchester?”
He just sat
there, leaned back in his big chair and smiled knowingly at me. He
didn’t have to say anything, he knew I understood what he was talking
about. I was emotionally cornered, and what does one do in a
situation like that? Right! I immediately burst into
tears. He didn’t try to comfort me, he just let me cry until I
got it out. He knew I’d come around in a minute.
“It’s simple,
Mr. Winchester, I wanna’ go and see a little of the world outside of
our town or the towns dad and I rodeo in. Over the last several
years, you know dad and I’ve gotten to be better’n better ropers.
We’ve won almost everything in our area. There’s a few major
cities in Arizona and New Mexico we ain’t made it to but we made enough
rodeos to be ranked number four team in the nation. We could go
all the way to the top. Aside from being fun, we could win one
hell of a lot of money.
I wanna’ go
rodeo’n and I asked dad to come along jes’ for a year and he
won’t. The truth is, I can understand why he don’t want to.
He’s been out there, he’s seen the world, he’s comfortable and more’n
happy jes’ to live his life right here. It’s all right for him to
take trips with me to local rodeos and even a few out of state, but his
base is here. His roots are here. He makes me feel like I’m
asking too much of him, and I feel I’ve been faithful to him since my
mom died. I feel like he could bend just a little and go rodeoing
with me for a year. One year,— that’s all I’m asking.
“Are you
starting to feel resentful towards your dad?”
“I don’t know if
it’s resentment, Mr. Winchester,— more like resigned disappointment.”
“That’s the best
damn definition I ever heard for resentment, Son.” Mr. Winchester
laughed. “‘Resigned disappointment,’ I’m gonna’ make a note of
that.” he wrote something on a pad. “Okay, I know you well
enough you ain’t gonna’ admit to any resentment towards your dad.
I’ve seen the way you and Vince’s relationship has grown over the last
several years, and you’d rather sit on a red ant hill than hurt your
dad.”
“Oh, hell
no! I don’t love him that much, Mr. Winchester!” I laughed
and Spencer broke up. “You know damn
well what I mean, boy!” Spencer smiled at him.
“Yes, Sir, I
do. I’m frustrated. I can’t leave him, Mr. Winchester, I
love him too damn much, and he needs me. I ain’t ashamed to admit
I need him, too. He’s all but closed the door on talk’n with me
about it. We could go without no problems. Bodey and Flynn
are excellent hands. They could easily run the ranch by
themselves. My little brother knows more about the ranch
operation than I do. Dad talks to him more’n me about those
things. He could run that damn ranch blindfolded, and he’d love
to do it for us.”
“I’m sure he
would, and I think the ranch would be in good hands. You’d
probably come back to find he’s tripled your income from it.”
Spencer laughed, and I agreed with him. “I know he stayed with
your dad the two summers you and Dwayne were away helping Rance.
Your dad seemed comfortable with Logan staying with him. You
think your little brother would stay with your dad for a while so you
could get away?”
“For a year or
more, Mr. Winchester?”
“Sure!
What would your dad do if the draft was still in operation, and you got
drafted to serve two years in the army?”
“Well, first of
all, I wouldn’t have to go because he’s legally handicapped, I’m his
only son and he needs me.”
“‘At’s true, but
think about it as if you didn’t have that option. Let’s just say
you had no choice, you had to go. What would he do?”
“He’d have to
git somebody else to take care of him, I guess, until I got back.
I see what chore’ git’n at. H’it make sense. I don’t know’s
I could ask that of my brother, and I’d have one hell of a time
convincing my dad.”
“Won’t hurt none
to ask your brother. He may surprise you. Won’t hurt none
to put it to your dad, neither. He let your little brother take
care of him twice now. He set a president. He might
consider it again.”
“Lord knows, our
little brother is full up to the brim with surprises. He’s hang’n
around here close to home for some reason. Says he taking pre-med
courses at University of California San Diego this fall. Now, he
thinks he wants to become a surgeon. Know’n him, he will, too,
if’n he sets his mind to it. I have a feeling he’ll do it this
time.”
“You know,
Casey, so do I. I told his daddy the same thing the last get
together us men had at his place.”
Since the
incident with the Colonel, all the men who were involved and several
who were just invited met every last Friday of the month, to have
dinner and socialize. Something about that incident bonded them
together, and they talked about forming a lodge of some kind.
They had enough mavericks and free thinkers they decided all the
fall-de-rall of a club would be more than they wanted to put up
with. It would probably end up being little more than a social
club anyway so why not just keep it that way.
“Are you
suggesting I talk with my little brother and feel him out about it?”
“It’s a
start. Donna and I are having dinner at Sidney and Sticker’s
tomorrow evening. Your dad told me you and he were invited along
with Rance and Dwayne. Rance is in town for the long weekend, and
he’ll be staying either here or out to your place with Dwayne.”
“Yeah, dad said
to leave tomorrow night open we were having dinner with our little
brother and his men.”
“His men?
I like that. You come up with some great twist of words sometime,
Son. That pretty much describes them. If I get a chance, do
you want me to talk with your dad about the situation?”
“I don’t want
him to think I put you up to it, Mr. Winchester,— so let’s just say,
I’ll leave it up to you. Use your best judgement. I don’t
want him upset all weekend.”
“Well, you can
help. Make sure you arrange it with your brothers to go to
Logan’s room to check out something and leave us older folks alone.”
“I will, Mr.
Winchester. As I get older I began to see the distance in age
between my dad and I growing smaller.”
“That’s
natural. It’ll probably continue for a while, but he’ll always be
your dad.”
“Thanks, Mr.
Winchester. I appreciate you taking your time to talk with
me. You’ve given me a bit of hope. I ain’t a’ gonna’ git my
hopes all built up too high. I don’t see him changing his
mind. Maybe I’ll talk with my little brother after dinner.”
“Good idea,
Son. Well,— I’ll take you back to your brother and look forward
to seeing you tomorrow night.”
* * * * * * *
Dinner the next
evening at Sidney and Sticker’s was a treat. They never did
anything to prepare or serve dinner. They had a chef come in and
a staff to wait on us. It was great. Dad and I even wore
our best cowboy duds. We didn’t feel out of place because Rance
and Dwayne went with us and Frank and Curley were there as well.
As a pleasant surprise, Sheriff Leland Bard and his wife were there.
Everyone had a
good time, but after dessert, Logan asked Dwayne and me to come to his
room to see something on his computer. We excused ourselves,
thanked Mr. Wainright and Sticker for a wonderful dinner, and left the
older folk to have more coffee and after dinner drinks if anyone wanted
one. The talk around the table was light and funny. Since
the sheriff was there, anything and everything was fair game for a
laugh. He kept us laughing all through dinner.
The sheriff’s
wife and Donna Winchester excused themselves to go into the living room
to have another cup of coffee and chat. The men were left alone.
Talk came around to how Rance and Dwayne were doing and whether Lamar
was getting out of Marines in two more years or was he going to
reenlist again?
“I didn’t say
much when he told us he wanted to reenlist after his two years.”
Rance commented, “He talked with me about his options. I
know he talked to the rest of you men. He’s an intelligent man
and was weighing all his options. His love for my son is
unquestioned; however, I jes’ had a feeling he was gonna’ reenlist, so
it wasn’t such a shock to me. I warned Dwayne I felt that’s what
he was gonna’ do. I done told him not to build up his hopes for
the immediate future. He might have to share Lamar with the
Marines for a while longer.
I told
Lamar he always had a home to come to on the ranch with me and
Dwayne.” said Rance, “He’s done almost two years on this
hitch and he’s got two more to go. They’ll go by quickly enough,—
more quickly than Dwayne realizes. Lamar’s found a home in the
Marines and he’s good at what he does. He’s liked by everyone and
is rising steadily in the ranks.
He got another
promotion last month from Sergeant to Staff Sergeant. It means
more pay for him and a bit more leave every year. As you all know
he’s spent the last three years of his leave on the ranch with
us. I had some apprehensions at first about his and Dwayne’s
relationship, but I don’t no more. For such a big man, he’s
one of the most kind, gentle, thoughtful, and charming men I’ve ever
met in my life. The more I’m around the man and git to know him
the more I love him. My son couldn’ta’ done no better, but he
coulda’ done a lot worse for a mate.”
“Amen to that,
brother.” said my dad and echoed by all the other men.
“Things all
right with you and Casey, Vince?” Sidney asked.
My dad grinned
and looked around the table at his close friends.
“Well,— I guess
it ain’t no secret. It’s hard to keep secrets in this damn town;
however, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I like living in a
small town like ours. You lay down roots and you build
friendships that last a lifetime. I suppose you all know Casey’s
been after me to go on the circuit with him and leave the ranch with
Bodey and Flynn. Casey wanted to ask his little brother to run
the operation. That boy knows as much about the ranch as Casey
and I do. He could run it in his sleep.”
Everyone laughed
and agreed.
“I just can’t go
on the circuit for several reasons. The main one is, it would
mean a lot of traveling, working with the ponies day after day, living
in Casey’s Rambling Ramada as he calls it. While it’s
considerably more comfortable than the camper was, it’s still
inconvenient. There’s a couple other reasons I won’t go into, but
I just don’t feel like I can. I know I’ve disappointed him, and
now he wants to go out on his own. My boy’s talking about being
gone for possibly a year or two, and I don’t know if I can do without
him that long. That’s about it. I’m between a rock and a
hard place.”
“Lemme’ ask you
a question, Vince.” said Spencer Winchester, “Suppose he
got drafted and was taken away from you for a couple of years?
What would you do?”
“I’d have to git
me someone to assist me who I could trust and feel comfortable
with. You men know I lost my legs in Nam, and I need assistance
ever’ evening to shower and clean up. I have to have somebody
there ever' night in case the house catches on fire to help me get my
legs on and get out. I need assistance in the mornings with my
legs and get me up and going. After that, I’m fine; however,
living that close and depending on somebody would be difficult for me
unless it was someone I trusted and cared about.”
“Do you have
someone who might do it for you?” Spencer asked knowing the
answer.
“Well,— not
really. Little bit was kind and generous enough to stay with me
several weeks the last two summers while Dwayne and Casey went to play
cowboy with Rance here. I love Logan like he’s my own boy, he
knows it, but I couldn’t ask him to live with me for a couple of years.”
Sidney and
Sticker started laughing. Everyone looked at them.
“Have you asked
him, Vince?” Sidney Wainright asked.
“I’d ask you and
Sticker first, Sid.”
“He ain’t our
boy no more, Vince. He’s a grown man. He’s twenty-one years
old. He makes his own decisions. Don’t mean he won’t ask us
for advice, but he’s his own man now. He didn’t ask us about
staying with you the times Casey and Dwayne were off help’n
Rance. He told us he felt it was the right thing to do and we
agreed with him. If’n we didn’t we’d ‘a said something.
For all
practical purposes, he’s as much your boy now as he is ours. He
really loves and admires you, Vince, and Sticker and I are convinced
it’s a heathy, mature love. He thinks on you as his second
dad. I done talked it over with Sticker, and he agreed with me to
tell you some things. I don’t think I’m betraying my boy’s trust
by telling you.
You, Casey,
Rance and Dwayne are the main reasons he came home from college.
He has no intention of returning to Stanford. He's seen this
coming between you and Casey for a good while now,— long before we did,
and he told Sticker and me in no uncertain terms he planned to stay
with you while Casey was gone no matter how long it takes,— one year or
three. He told us it was the main concern of his life right
now. He said you and his brothers have gone to the wall for him,
and he wants to be there for you and Casey. My boy’s dead
serious, Vince. He convinced me and Sticker.
I made an ass of
myself and accused him of having a school boy’s crush on you, and
he was setting himself up for hurt. Not that you would ever hurt
him, but he’d do it to himself. That little sucker nailed me to
the barn door. What was the term you used, Sticker?”
“He set chu’ up
and shot chu’ down.” Sticker told him laughing.
“He convinced
me, Vince. He’s got it all planned out. That’s why he’s
starting school at U.C.S.D. this fall. He’s planning on going to
school during the day, so he can be with you in the evenings. He
said that’s mainly when you need someone, in the mornings to git chu'
going and the evenings to assist you getting to bed.”
“He’s right
about that. Damn 'nat kid,— you’n Sticker couldn’t a’ raised him
no better, Sid. Are you sure you and Sticker are okay with it?”
“More sure than
I’ve ever been about anything he’s chosen to do. He’s dead set on
doing it, Vince. All you have to do is ask him.”
“Well, that’s
not quite all there is to it, gentlemen. I don’t know if Casey’s
aware of it,— I ain't said nothing or talked to him about it, but I’m
probably guilty of the greatest sin a man could commit. I’ve
fallen in love with my own son, gentlemen. I don’t know’s I could
give him up for that long.”
“Hell, that
ain’t no sin, Vince!” spoke up Leland Bard. “We’ve all seen
it happening since Frances died. No one said nothing to you
because, to be honest, I think all of us felt it was the right thing
for both of you. Somehow, you two just seemed like you was meant
to be together. Sure, it’s a little unorthodox, but what the
hell, the folks what loves you and Casey are the only ones who count
anyways. We don’t give a shit. Personally, I’ve always
thought it was pert-damn nice. You couldn’ta’ raised Casey no
better neither.”
“Here,
here!” echoed the other men agreeing with the sheriff.
“If you try to
hold on to that boy, Vince, you’re gonna’ lose him.” Frank Mayhew
surprised everyone by speaking up. “He loves you deeply, but he
don’t realize he’s ‘in’ love with you yet. H’it ain’t some’um you
can tell him. He has to come to it by his-self. You’re gonna’
have to let him go for him to discover what’s he’s missing at
home. Then it has to be his choice to come back. When he
does,— I promise you,— he’ll never leave you again.”
“Well said, Mr.
Mayhew! Truer words were never spoken, Sir.” said Spencer
Winchester.
“I gotta’ agree
with Frank, brother.” said Rance Harding.
“Seems to me
like you don’t have no excuse for letting the boy go, Vince.” Sidney
Wainright quietly told my dad. “Sticker and I talked before ya’ll
got here and came up with the same thing Frank done told ju.’ If
you don’t let Casey go, he’ll try hard not to, but eventually he’ll
resent you for it.”
My dad sat there
in silence. Tears came to his eyes. “I guess I’ve
known all along I’m gonna’ have to let him go. God knows, I don’t
want to. My dad never once showed any affection for me or my
younger brother. Rance, here, can tell ya.’ We grew’d up
together. None of you men know this, but Rance and Dwayne are my
cousins. That’s why Rance and Casey have the same color
eyes. Rance grew up with me and my brother on his family’s ranch,
one over from ours. The only love I ever knew as a boy was from
this man sitting next to me, my little brother, and a big, wonderful
man named Bubba Swansey. I guess I’ve gone too far in the
opposite direction by loving my son too much. Now it’s gonna’ rip
my damn heart out to say goodbye to him. God knows, I love that
boy.”
My dad broke
into tears and Rance put his arm around him to comfort him. There
wasn’t a dry eye among the stoic cowboys. They knew my dad was
hurting deeply. They felt and shared his pain.
* * * * * * *
Meanwhile, we
were in our little brother’s room looking at some wild new software he
designed and was trying to get marketed. Dwayne and I thought
he'd make a fortune on it. One thing led to another and we began
to talk.
“Have you said
anymore to yore’ dad about going on the rodeo circuit, Case?”
Logan asked
“Naw, little
brother, that’s a closed subject. I told him I wanted to go on my
own if he didn’t wanna’ go with me,— but I can’t. He knows I
can’t, and I won’t. I can’t leave him alone. I love him too
damn much to do that to him. Besides, I don’t know how long I’d be
gone,— a year, maybe two. It would really be stretching the
boundaries of friendship to ask you to stay with him.”
“Why?”
Logan asked.
“Well,— it would
really be a lot to ask of you.”
“What? To
stay with your dad,— a man I love and respect,— a man I consider my
mentor and second dad? Could I stay ever’ evening for a couple of
years with him? Humm,— lemme’ check my schedule.” Logan
licked his thumb, turned to his desk to open a daily planner.
“Let’s see,— ah yes,— I’m gonna’ be attending UCSD for about three
years,— maybe four. I planned to live at home anyway. Your
ranch ain’t that much further. Humm,— It’ll be tough, but I
think I can work it into my schedule.” he smiled at me and
continued, “Look,— I love your dad, Casey. I love him like
a second dad. I love him like I love you; however, I ain’t got no
school boy crush on Mr. Longhorn!” Logan stated emphatically.
“I know that,
little bit, and I’m so sorry we kidded you about it. We carried
it much too far. You didn’t deserve that. We jes’ thought
you knew we was kidding. It didn’t matter whether you realized it
or not, it was the wrong thing to do to a brother we love as much as
you. I guess we never would’ve realized it if dad hadn’t level
both barrels at us and pulled the trigger. Weren’t much left of
Dwayne and me but a few tufts of hair.” we laughed.
“He sure did,
little bit, and that man weren’t kid’n none, neither. He read us
the fuck’n riot act. I recited the old story about how the cow
ate the cabbage in my sleep for a month. I never felt so bad in
my life when he made us realize what we done. I’m sorry, too,
little brother. You notice we ain’t razzed you none about it in
months?”
“Yeah, I
wondered what happened. Mr. Longhorn did that for me?”
“Damn straight,
little brother! I ain’t never see my daddy that mad since I was
ten years old, and threw butter been hulls over the fence for the milk
cow to eat. My mom and I spent all afternoon shell’n butter
beans, we picked out of our garden, for dinner. We had a big bowl
full of hulls left over. Dad told me to take ‘em down to the
chicken coop, throw ‘em in for the chickens, they’d eat ‘em, and it’ud
be good for ‘em. I didn’t wanna’ walk all the way down ‘nair
behind ‘nat damn barn in the dark to the chicken coop. It was
spooky as hell down ‘nair. I was jest’ a kid, and hated to go
down ‘nair at night.
I passed our old
milk cow, and gave her a couple a’ them hulls. She loved ‘em, so
I thought, ‘What the fuck,— chow down, girlfriend. Dad’ll never
know I didn’t feed ‘em to the chickens.’ I gave her a big ole
bowl full of ‘em. How was I to know they’d cause massive gas
build up in a cow’s stomach? She swelled up like the fuck’n
Goodyear blimp and dad went nuts when I told him what I done. I
think it was the closest I ever came to my dad hitting me. He had to
get the vet out a’ bed to come out and relieve the pressure from the
gas what built up in her stomach or she would a’ died. The vet
took a giant needle like thing and jabbed her in the side with it all
the way into her stomach. I felt bad for Flossy,— God, it had to
hurt!”
Dwayne and
Logan were holding each other laughing.
“You could hear
the damn gas escaping as she deflated like a fuck’n balloon you let the
air out of. And stink? Hoe-lee shit! You never
smelled nothing s’bad in your life. I was kinda hoping
she’d fly around the lot like a balloon when you released it.”
We were laughing
our ass’s off.
“If’n that
weren’t bad enough the vet had to take the garden hose, shove it up her
butt and wash all them hulls out of her stomach. God, did it
stink! It cost dad a couple hunnert bucks. He made me pay
for it,— he took it out of my allowance. Hell, I didn’t get me no
allowance until I was sophomore in high school.
I didn’t git no
lick’n ‘cause I threw myself on the mercy of the court and claimed
ignorance. I didn’t know them damn butter bean hulls would do
that to a cow. It weren’t the fact I gave ‘em to the cow what
pissed dad off so much as me not obeying him and doing what he told
me. He sure gave me one hell of a lecture, though, and I didn’t
watch no T.V. for a month. I’ll never forgit that as long as I
live, and you know what? I ain’t never fed no butter bean hulls
to no cow again. I won’t even eat butter beans.”
We were rolling
on our little brother’s bed with laughter.
About that time
dad and Rance hollered up to us it was time to leave. We gave our
little brother a big hug and a kiss.
“Tomorrow’s
Saturday,— you still coming over, little brother?” I asked him.
“Yeah, I was
planning on it. We gonna’ built that other bird pen tomorrow?”
“If’n we
can. If we decide we don’t wanna’ do it we’ll find some’um else
to do.”
“Okay,
fine. I’d enjoy spending the day with you guys. You gonna’
be there, big bro?”
“Yeah,— hell,
we’re caught up at the ranch and Curley and Frank are gonna’ be
there. Since dad’s in town for the long weekend he decided we
should spend some time with our kin folks.” Dwayne laughed.
“I’ll see ya’ll
in the morning, then.”
“Come for
breakfast, little bit, we’ll make extra.”
“I’ll be
there. I love you two.”
“We shore’ nuff
love you, little brother.”
Dwayne and I
hugged and kiss our little brother. We went downstairs and said
our goodbyes to everyone and drove home in Dwayne’s truck. Dad
invited Dwayne and Rance to stay the night, and they decided they
would. They always stayed in the same room. Dad didn’t feel
like getting into the shower again. We cleaned up before we went
to dinner anyway; however, it was just long enough for him to develop
his signature smell that I loved so much. I went to the shower to
clean myself and insert my plug in case he wanted some of his boy’s
butt.
He played with
it a little, but he didn’t seem too interested in fucking me, so I
sucked him off. I hadn’t given him a good blow job in a
while. I forgot how wonderful my dad tastes. I thought I
was going to have to do like our little brother and get me some good,
cowboy dick sometime during the day. We went to sleep, but in the
wee hours of the morning I was awakened when I felt my plug pop out of
my butt and be replaced swiftly but surely with his big cowboy dick.
I think it was
the sweetest fuck’n my old man ever gave me. He fucked me until
the sun came up. I had tears in my eyes as he reached his gentle
climax and pumped load after load of his hot, cowboy spunk into my
eagerly awaiting ass. I flooded a towel with my come I had handy
and waiting. I think he was trying to tell me with that fuck, no
matter our disagreements or how far apart we might be, I would always
be his boy and he would always love me.
* * * * * * *
Dwayne and I
started raising parakeets in our pen the three of us built five years
ago. It was still standing, strong and as fine looking as it was
when we built it. Our little brother’s engineering skills were a
marvel. We made quite a bit of money selling them to pet shops
all over Southern California and we even learned how to ship them
successfully. After deductions for feed and supplies we equally
divided the money between us. Some months we did better than
others but we were making on an average two hundred a month. One
hundred bucks apiece spending money per month didn’t hurt.
Heady with our
limited success, we thought we’d like to expand to raising
cockateels. We could get four times the money for them as
parakeets. After breakfast we decided to build it. We
wanted to build a larger and better pen than our first effort. We
even went out and bought good material for this one so we didn’t have
to make do with junk wood.
Once again we
enlisted the help of our little brother, and he didn’t let us
down. He gave us a detailed list of what to buy at the hardware
store. He had it figured down to the nail. Then, he decided
we never got anything right so he’d better go with us. He came up
with a simple but elegant plan. It would outshine the other pen
and did when we finished. It was a beauty.
We were
completely finished by about three in the afternoon. We decided
to go into the house to cool off and get something to drink.
Rance drove into town to get some stuff for dad to barbeque that
evening. He always bought enough to feed Cox’s army. There
was more than enough food for all of us. When little bit was with
us we treated him as family. We just included him in everything
so we knew he’d be with us for dinner. While we were having a
soda dad came to the door of the kitchen.
“Little bit, can
I talk with you in my office for a few minutes?”
“Sure, Mr.
Longhorn, be right there.”
Dad turned and
left. Our little brother looked at us, and I shrugged like I had
no idea what he wanted, but Dwayne winked at him meaning he thought
little bit was about to get lucky. He grinned real big set his
empty soda can down and left for dad’s office. Dwayne and I went
up to my junk room to give them some privacy. There was no
insulation in our old house and you could hear through the walls.
“C’mon in,
Son. Close the door behind ju’ and turn the latch. Come,—
have a seat.”
Logan was
surprised. My dad only did that when he knew little bit needed
some cowboy dick.
“Son, I wasn’t
kidding the other day when I told ju’ that was the best damn blow job
you ever gimme.’ I been think’n on it all morning, and I jes’
can’t seem to get my old cowboy dick to go down. Think you could
do an old man a favor and make it go down for me?”
“It would be an
honor and a pleasure, Sir.” Little bit replied.
Dad winked at
him, got up from behind his desk and walked over to his favorite,
overstuffed, wingback chair, turned around, undid his huge rodeo belt
buckle, unbuttoned his Wranglers, dropped them to his boot tops and sat
down. He wasn’t kidding. Our little brother told us later
he was hard as a rock. Dad motioned for little bit to get on his
knees in front of him. Logan was in front of my dad real quick
and on his knees making love to his adopted dad’s stiff cowboy
penis. He got my old man off in nothing flat and left him gasping
for breath.
“Damnation,
Son. I ain’t even gonna’ tell ya’ how good that one was.
Woah, dogies!”
Little bit was
still swallowing dad’s spunk and began to clean him up real good with
his tongue. He got under his foreskin really good and made my dad
winced a couple of times because his dick head was so sensitive after
he came. When Logan finished he grabbed a towel dad kept in a
cabinet nearby and dried dad’s dick. He assisted my dad to stand
and raised his Wrangles for him.
Dad took it from
there, buttoned them up, and set his big belt buckle where he wanted
it. He took little bit into his arms, gently and lovingly kissed
him. Logan only made love to my old man a couple of times, but he
enjoyed it each time. This was different. Mr. Longhorn
seemed to be searching his mouth for the flavor of his own come.
It really turned Logan on. Finally he stopped but continued to
hold the young man.
“Thanks for
that, Son. I shore’ nuff appreciate it. I love you, boy.”
“Anytime, Sir!
You got the best tasting come, Mr. Longhorn. As always, it was an
honor and a privilege, Sir, and you know how much I love you.”
“Enough to live
with this old man for a while?”
“I don’t wanna’
make a fool of myself, Mr. Longhorn, by jumping about with glee, so
will a simple ‘yes’ be a good enough answer, Sir.”
“Damn, I was
kind a’ look’n forward to you jump’n around.” they shared a
laugh, “You could never make a fool of yourself with me,
boy! ‘Yes’ is perfectly good enough, but chu’ know what else it
means, don’t chu’?” Logan grinned and nodded his head
‘yes.’ “It means you’re gonna’ have to start wearing that plug
again.” dad grinned wickedly and winked at him.
“Oh, no, no, Mr.
Longhorn, let Casey have that one. I bought me a new one,— a
bigger one you’re jes’ gonna’ love, Sir. I been training on it
for several months now. I’m ready, Sir.”
Little bit was
so enthused dad couldn’t help but laugh.
“God, I love
you, boy! Ain’t gonna’ give you back to yore’ old man fer damn
sure this time. I done told him a long time ago, I was gonna’
steal you away from him and ole Sticker and make you my boy.”
“Well,— you did,
Mr. Longhorn, but you didn’t have to try too hard.”
“You give any
thought to calling me ‘Vince’ instead of Mr. Longhorn, Son?”
“Please,— don’t
make that a condition, Sir. I don’t know’s I could ever call you
by your first name. To me, you’ll always be Mr. Longhorn.”
“You’re some
piece of work, Son. I told jur’ two daddies last night they
couldn’t a’ raised you no finer,— and I meant it!”
“Thanks,
Sir. Hell, I been telling ‘em that for a couple of years
now. I think they’re finally realizing I ain’t gonna’ cause ‘em
no grief. Thanks for reenforcing what I been telling ‘em, Sir.”
“Is it true you
been planning on this for some time now?”
“Yes, Sir.
I saw what was going on, and I knew it was only a matter of time.
I wanted to be here for you and my bother. If it takes Casey a
year or three years to find himself, I’ll be here for you. You
and Case helped me make up my mind what I wanna’ do in life. I’m
gonna’ go through medical school at U.C.S.D., and I’ll be involved with
that for at least three years, maybe more. I’ll be here in the
mornings and evenings. If for some unforeseen reason I should
have to stay away for a night, I thought we might get Flynn to give you
a hand. He and Bodey could sleep in one a’ the bedrooms up here.”
“Damn, you done
some think’n on this.” Dad was amazed.
“I have,
Sir. I told my daddy and my wrangler, helping you and my
brother right now was the most important thing in my life, and I meant
it, Mr. Longhorn.”
“I told ju’ last
week, I wouldn’t want nobody but you to gimme’ a hand. I don’t
think I could let my boy go if’n you weren’t here, Son. I even
had thoughts of doing away with myself because I felt like I was jest’
in my boy’s way.”
“Don’t chu’
never think that a’ way, Mr. Longhorn. What about the people who
love and depend on you, Sir,— like my daddy and Sticker; like Dwayne
and Mr. Harding; like the Winchesters; like Bodey and Flynn; like
Curley and Frank; like Sheriff Bard, you’d break that old man’s heart;
and, what about me, Sir? I need you, Mr. Longhorn? We all
need you in our lives. Do you think we could a’ done what we done
for Dwayne if we didn’t have your love and support? I’ll answer
for you, ‘no,’ we couldn’t. It ain’t all gonna’ be a free ride,
ya’ know?”
“How’s that,
Son?” Vince was almost afraid to ask a pre-loaded question.
“I’m gonna’ need
your support to get through medical school. I know you’ll kick me
in the butt if I get bored or start lagging behind. I know you
well enough to know you won’t put up with my shit for a minute.
My daddy and my wrangler were always too soft on me. I could get
away with murder with them, and they were none the wiser. I done
told my daddy,— Mr. Longhorn will kick my butt up between my shoulder
blades so hard I’ll have ta’ stand on my head to take a shit! I’m
afraid you’re gonna’ have to raise another boy, Sir.”
“I think I can
handle that, Son. Maybe we should start training you to sit on
the toe of my big cowboy boot if’n I’s gonna’ be plant’n it up yore’
butt when you don’t do good in school.”
“That’s a good
idea, Mr. Longhorn. I hadn’t thought of that. When can we
start, Sir?”
My dad couldn’t
stop laughing.
“Okay, Son, I’m
gonna’ tell your brother this evening over dinner he’s free to
go. It’s gonna’ break this old cowboy’s heart to tell him, but I
know I have to. I may need ju’ to lean on for a while.”
“I think I can
understand that, Sir. It ain’t gonna’ be no trip around the May
pole for me neither to say goodbye to my big brother. Jes’ lemme’
know, Mr. Longhorn, and I’ll be here the day he pulls out, Sir.”
“God, I love you
boy.”
“I love you,
too, Mr. Longhorn. Don’t worry none, Sir, I know you’re the only
one for him. He jes’ ain’t realized it yet, but he will.
He’ll come back, I promise.”
* * * * *
* *
That night, over
dinner, my dad casually told me my little brother agreed to stay with
him until I got back. If I wanted to go,— I was free to go.
I think he chose to tell me while we were having dinner because he
needed the love and support of his family. By that time, little bit was
already considered part of our family, and there was no doubt in his
mind my dad loved him. They had a special relationship all dad’s
life that was shaped and formed over a period of several years.
It didn’t just
happen overnight. My little brother didn’t try to walk in, take
over and replace me in dad’s life. He wasn’t like that
anyway. No,— they worked at it, defined it, and shaped it until
they were comfortable with it. It became like a living entity, in
and of itself with them,— one that I was not included in; however, that
wasn’t bad, because it sustained my dad for a rough period in his life,
and he never forgot the love he held in trust for his boy, Logan.
His big cowboy arms were always open for our little brother.
End of Chapter
24 ~ Texas Longhorns Copyright 2005 ~
Waddie Greywolf All rights
reserved ~ Mail to:
waddiebear@yahoo.com