The
Journal of Secrets
By Ian De Shils (Ernest
Shields)
Epilogue
When I first came to work for GSI, Ted ask me to write of my experiences
in tracking them down. He also wanted my thoughts on why I accepted this
job so readily. The latter, I wasn't sure I could explain in any logical
way, since I don't recall even thinking about it. It just felt right. As far
as the former is concerned, I'm afraid I put him off. The first years were
very busy and Ted never pressed the matter, but a couple of months ago he
sent along the same disk I gave him that day in Brentwood and ask me to fill
in the blanks. That's what I've done and I hope it's satisfactory. All that's
left is a little addendum about life in Paris and few assorted thoughts.
Paris has been my home for three years now, but as Ted warned, I travel
a great deal. GSI is doing extremely well in Europe. We have gained a reputation
for being the one security company that can't be outfoxed and so far that's
been the case. It would be nice if I could take credit for that reputation,
but I can't. In my first year here the people I work with taught me more
about tracing fraud and theft than I learned in ten at Western, and yet my
employers insist I have the potential of being the best there is. I hope
that's more than an assumption on their part, for I've never held a more satisfying
post.
I came over in advance of GSI's grand opening with Carl Swenson, a man
who has since become my closest and dearest friend. Carl spoke French like
a native, where as, I struggled with the high school variety, and that mostly
forgotten. Carl became my teacher, not only in the language, but in the culture,
quietly steering me around the blunders I might have made. He is so fastidiously
neat it was sometime before I connected Carl with Ted's description of him
in the journal. We share quarters in this crowded city, a nice three bedroom
flat the company provides. Carl walked out of the bathroom one morning without
his removable bridge I never suspected he wore. His broad smile with a three
tooth gap was a revelation to say the least. I still have trouble visualizing
Carl as the biker dude called 'The Bear,' but my boys live for the stories
he tells. Fortunately he cleans them up a bit.
David and Daniel spend the summer with me. Paris truly is the City of
Lights and the boys never tire of exploring its potential, what's more,
both are now as fluent in the language as I. At sixteen, they have become
very cosmopolitan in their outlook, yet when their mother recently divorced,
they made a supreme effort to get us back together. Cindy came with them
this summer and stayed for two weeks. She's as beautiful as ever and much
more confident now than I remember her. We had a lovely time and I'll be
seeing her quite often now that Paris is one of her stops as a buyer for
Niemann-Marcus. Cindy is finally spreading her wings. She has great taste
and I know she will be a huge success at what she's doing, but I doubt we
will ever again be more than friends. The career she always yearned for
is, at last, within her grasp, and I,--- well,--- I'm no longer the person
I was either. It seems we both changed a great deal these past five years.
Soon, I'll be traveling again, on this occasion back to Los Angeles.
I have finally consented to the initiation and expect it to be a somewhat
harrowing ordeal. When the subject was first broached two years ago, I flatly
refused, remembering Ted's description of his experience, but I've been assured
things are different now. No more forced initiations, those are ancient
history as is the little added 'something' that drove initiates to sexual
frenzy. Now, there simply stands an open invitation to those selected and
I find that invitation irresistible. Yes, I'm fairly comfortable with the
idea. It no longer scares me,--- too much.
I respect the goals of the Delphic Brotherhood of Light. Their view
that diversity is a positive human trait, is one I have always held, and
their vast experiment at developing a new social conscious, will, I'm sure,
culminate in a better life for everyone. It will take years of course,
many generations to get past the bigotry, rhetoric and fear, but the Brotherhood
takes the long view and I like that. Not only do I feel genuine fondness
for all the Brothers I've met so far, I find myself looking forward to
closer ties to this extended family.
The fact that I can so easily identify and bond with the Brotherhood
is undoubtedly the reason they selected me for this job in the first
place. Jake tells me many things have changed in the years since he and Ted
became members. The experiment, as well as the Brotherhood itself is evolving
with each passing year, and that is as it should be. Nothing static will
ever benefit humanity, it must change if it is to meet the needs of a future
sociaty. Yes, I'm absolutely sure constant change is ongoing. Carl himself
mentioned it and I trust his judgment implicitly; however, in the back of
my mind lies a suspicion that at least one thing about the Brotherhood remains
exactly the same. It may take a different face, it may come about in gentler
ways, but as Ted in his journal so succinctly quoted 'The Ripper,'