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A Festival in Exile 
by
  Vulgar Argot 
(MFF) 
 
Bolstered by the idea that
  she had an ally inside Aqueduct, even an ally who was herself in a precarious
  position, Nuria strode into her meeting with Kate Bakersfield. When she
  arrived, Kate said, "Shut the door." 
 
Nuria looked around the
  room, empty but for the two of them, "Am I early?" 
 
Kate shook her head,
  "No. I wanted this first meeting just to be the two of us--so that we
  could start out with the air clear." 
 
"All right," said
  Nuria, sitting down and folding her hands. 
 
"You look very
  professional today," said Kate. 
 
"Thank you," said
  Nuria. 
 
"You arrived more or
  less on time today, spent the morning learning how to use all of the devices
  that are part of having a job here, took lunch with Marcie, and came back
  after a reasonable amount of time. You arrived on time for this meeting and appear
  to have put a good deal of thought into your appearance." Kate spoke in
  even, clipped tones. 
 
Nuria was too stunned by
  the laundry list to reply immediately. 
 
"I am not usually in
  the habit of spying on my employees, but you are of specific concern to me and
  I've been asking around." 
 
Nuria smoothed an imaginary
  wrinkle out of her suit, "All right." 
 
Kate sighed and ran a hand
  through her graying hair, "Here's what I need to get out on the table:
  If you don't intend to take this job seriously, I can live with that. Your
  salary is a small offset to what we can expect to make on Mr. Wolffe's book.
  Being a working editor is often a miserable job, one I was rarely fond of
  myself. So, if you would rather 'work from home,' arrive once every few weeks
  when we have to meet with Mr. Wolffe, and collect a paycheck twice a month,
  let me know now and we will save ourselves a considerable amount of time that
  would otherwise be spent on maintaining a charade." 
 
Nuria sat up straighter,
  "I don't intend for this to be a charade, Ms. Bakersfield." 
 
Kate raised an eyebrow at
  her, "You do understand that by 'work from home,' I mean, 'do whatever
  the hell you please, so long as you don't come to the office,' don't
  you?" 
 
Nuria nodded, "Yes. I
  just want to be a good editor." 
 
"Shit," said Kate
  in those same, dignified, clipped tones, "I was afraid you were going to
  say that." Reaching into her elegant Coach leather purse, she extracted
  a small flask, "Can I interest you in a sniff?" 
 
When Nuria shook her head,
  Kate took a water glass, poured herself a healthy dose of some clear liquid,
  and drank it down. When she was finished, she said, "This would be far
  easier for me if you were some unqualified floozy that I could trot out every
  so often to make the client happy. The worst possible case here is if you
  turn out to be well-meaning, but incompetent. So, if at any point, you change
  your mind and decide you would rather live a life of quiet reflection,
  subsidized by Aqueduct, just let me know." 
 
When Nuria didn't answer,
  Kate said, "I can see that you're determined to give this a shot. So be
  it. Just remember that the offer stands. But, as long as you're actually
  planning to be a part of this firm, we'll do what we can to get you up to
  speed. Mr. Geschbach has been instructed to assist you with Mr. Wolffe's book
  as much as he can. I know that the book is not in a submittable draft yet. If
  you can convince Mr. Wolffe to let Mr. Geschbach read what you currently
  have, I would consider you somewhat less in my debt." 
 
Nuria nodded, "I'll
  try." 
 
Kate smiled, taking away
  some of the sting of her words, "You're going to have something of an
  uphill battle here, Miss Delgado. I don't know what your relationship with
  Mr. Wolffe is, but I want you to know I have no intention of holding it
  against you. When I started in this business in 1959, my boss hired me
  because he liked the way I filled out a sweater. I slept with him to keep my
  job. He was not half as young, successful, or attractive as your Mr. Wolffe.
  Your official title here is junior acquisitions editor. I can tell you from
  first-hand experience that you can sleep your way to the middle in this
  business, but you have to work your way to the top. If you want my advice,
  and you do, you should spend every minute you are not working on Mr. Wolffe's
  book trying to find a new author that you are not--personally associated with
  who can make us some money. Once you have a few successes under your belt,
  most people won't really care what else has been there." 
 
Nuria was flustered. She
  wasn't sure whether she should feel grateful or insulted. She decided that
  she would accomplish very little by taking affront and decided to be
  grateful. 
 
"Thank you for the
  advice," she said quietly. 
 
"You're fortunate in
  one way," said Kate. "Mr. Wolffe's book is going to be the flagship
  product in our new imprint, Orbital. If you wanted to focus on science
  fiction and you're any good, I imagine you could make quite an impression in
  the field in only a few years." 
 
Nuria smiled, feeling
  genuinely hopeful for the first time since the meeting had started,
  "Thank you, Ms. Bakersfield. I'll look into that." 
 
Kate nodded, "If you
  have any free time this week, you might want to start on the slush pile. You
  never know when a gem will be found there." 
 
                                        -=- 
                                        
 
It was Wednesday before
  Nuria got to the slush pile. It actually turned out to be a row of filing
  cabinets that were used to hold all the unsolicited manuscripts that Aqueduct
  received. Actually, that wasn't true. It was used to hold all the unsolicited
  manuscripts that the interns couldn't find an excuse to throw out. Incorrect
  formatting, non-standard paper, unusual fonts, anything that deviated from
  the norm could cause a manuscript to go to the "circular file"
  instead. 
 
More interesting to Nuria
  than the nature of the slush pile was its location. The row of cabinets faced
  into the enclosed area of the floor known as the bullpen--where the most
  junior of editors worked. If not for her contacts, it's where Nuria would
  work. Actually, Nuria reminded herself, if not for her contacts, she wouldn't
  work here at all. 
 
Having walked by the far
  side of the cabinets, she'd heard the steady rumble of conversation on the
  other side. So, when she stepped in, the abrupt silence was all the more
  shocking. Everyone seemed to be hard at work on something on their desk or
  computer, but Nuria could sense that they were staring at her behind her
  back. 
 
Head held high, she strolled
  quickly across the bullpen, trying not to let the staring get to her. She got
  about half-way before it started to get to her. She glanced around. No one
  was looking up. As she got closer, she slowed her stride. That was a mistake.
  Gonzalo, who was sitting almost directly in front of the file cabinet marked
  "Orbital," rose to his feet. 
 
"You look lost,
  hermana. Is there something I can help you with?" 
 
He smiled at Nuria and it
  was all that she could do not to flinch. Even though
  his hands were firmly in his pockets, she felt like he'd reached out for her.
  This time, his eyes stayed firmly on her face, but they seemed to bore a hole
  in her skull. There was a challenge to the way he stood, even though it
  looked casual on the face of it. 
 
"I just came by to get
  some manuscripts from the slush file," she said. 
 
Gonzalo turned, his hand
  indicating the filing cabinet she'd been headed for anyway, "It is right
  here." 
 
Nuria nodded. For some
  reason, her feet had stopped their forward momentum and didn't seem willing
  to start again. It took several seconds before she started walking again. 
 
Gonzalo stepped forward as
  if to help, getting to the cabinet a moment before Nuria. As such, she wound
  up stepping into his personal space, close enough to feel his body warmth and
  smell the scent of him. He wore some expensive, emphatically male fragrance,
  not noticeable until she was in close. It seemed to be making Nuria dizzy. 
 
He reached out and placed a
  hand on her shoulder. It was unobtrusive and should have been inoffensive.
  Nuria knew how crazy she would look if she made a scene over it. With his other
  hand, he reached over and pulled the drawer open. 
 
"Do not expect too
  many miracles here," he said. "Many people think they can be
  writers in spite of all the evidence being to the contrary." 
 
He held out a manuscript
  box to Nuria. She took it and turned to go. 
 
"You are only taking
  one?" he asked. 
 
Nuria was already
  flustered. The question didn't help, "I, uh..." 
 
"Most of these
  manuscripts can be rejected before you have finished the first page. While we
  would all be glad to see you back every few minutes, you may want to take a
  few at a time." 
 
There was a nervous
  undercurrent of laughter around the bullpen. Nuria kept her eyes straight
  forward. 
 
"All right," she
  said. "I can probably carry four or five." 
 
Gonzalo piled the requested
  number of boxes on top of the one she already held. As Nuria turned to go, he
  said, "Remember my offer, hermana. If you need anything, you know where
  to find me." 
 
Nuria was afraid that she
  would have bolted if not weighed down by the manuscripts. As it was, she
  stepped a little too abruptly and felt the pile sway sickeningly. She managed
  to correct her path and keep it from falling, but it remained awkward all the
  way back to her desk and did fall over when she tried to set it down. They
  spread out across her empty desktop, the topmost box balancing dramatically
  on the edge for a moment before crashing to the floor with a solid thud. 
 
Mr. Geschbach looked at the
  box on the floor, "You can probably throw that one out without looking
  at it." 
 
Nuria looked up at him,
  surprised, "Why? Because it hit the floor?" 
 
Mr. Geschbach shrugged,
  "As good of a reason as any. That was always a thankless job. There are
  just enough stories floating around about slush piles yielding gold that Kate
  insists we go over every manuscript that comes in. The result has been twelve
  titles published in nine years. Only one of them made any money." 
 
Nuria picked up the box off
  the floor, "That does not sound encouraging." 
 
"Practically everybody
  who can string a sentence together has an agent these days," said Mr.
  Geschbach. "As soon as the press release announcing your hiring starts
  to make the rounds, you'll be hearing from them." The way he said the last
  word made his contempt for the breed clear. 
 
"Well," said
  Nuria. "If I can't expect much from agents and I can't expect much from
  the slush pile, where am I supposed to get my leads?" 
 
Mr. Geschbach shrugged,
  "From agents and the slush pile, mostly. We've got four acquisitions
  editors and, most years, publish five or six books
  by new authors. This year, you're lucky. With the roll-out of the Orbital
  imprint, we're bumping in up to nine or ten. Most of the acquisitions
  editor's job is to try to stay awake and aware long enough that they don't
  miss a real opportunity. It's a tight business. If you discover two
  money-making authors in the same year, you're considered a star. If you go
  more than one year without discovering any author, people start talking about
  you like you're dead. Bill Valmanian's been in the business twenty-two years,
  but he didn't find an author last year or the year before and he's probably
  on the way out. 
 
Nuria sighed and opened the
  manuscript she'd retrieved from the floor. By virtue of giving it the benefit
  of the doubt, she managed to get to page two. Then, she put it aside. 
 
Gonzalo had been right. The
  only thing that kept her from going through the whole pile before lunch was
  that Aqueduct had a ticket system for slush pile manuscripts that, in most cases,
  took as long to fill out as the manuscript took to evaluate. At first, she'd
  been worried about the fact that there was no step between her evaluation and
  dropping a manuscript back into the mail to the author. What if she made a
  mistake and rejected an author who turned out to be the next Stephen King? 
 
By the time she left for
  lunch, she wasn't entirely convinced that it couldn't happen, but she could
  comfortably say that she hadn't done it today. 
 
"I'm starting to think
  it's some sort of elaborate joke, created to haze new editors," she told
  Marcie at lunch. "I only taught eighth grade English, but I swear my
  students had a better grasp of grammar and spelling than some of these
  would-be authors." 
 
Marcie smiled,
  "Gonzalo told me that editors reading from the slush pile use the rule
  of three. If you find three grammar or spelling
  errors and the manuscript hasn't riveted you, move on to the next." 
 
Nuria shook her head,
  "If I did that, I wouldn't have gotten past page one on a couple of
  manuscripts." 
 
"That's the
  idea," said Marcie. "If an author can't do the work to make sure
  they don't have three misspellings or grammar errors on page one, what are
  the odds that they've put the work in to write a marketable book?" 
 
Nuria shrugged, "I
  guess. But, I feel bad." 
 
Marcie laughed,
  "You'll get over that pretty quickly." 
 
"So," asked Nuria
  as casually as she could imagine. "How well do you know Gonzalo?" 
 
Marcie lowered her head,
  rubbed the back of her neck, and didn't say anything for a few seconds. Nuria
  noticed, but didn't comment. 
 
"We went out a few
  times," said Marcie. 
 
Nuria nodded, "It
  didn't work out?" 
 
Marcie shrugged, "It
  worked out fine, I think. It was never meant to be serious." 
 
Nuria looked across the
  table at Marcie. In spite of the breeziness of her words, the young intern
  looked unhappy. 
 
Marcie saw Nuria watching
  her, "Why do you ask?" 
 
"I..." Nuria
  chose her words carefully, "I think I got on his bad side. Kate gave me
  his desk and put him back in the bullpen. And, I'm working with Mr.
  Geschbach." 
 
Marcie made a hissing noise
  through her teeth, "It would be just like Gonzalo to blame you for
  that." 
 
"Well," said
  Nuria, idly stirring her iced tea. "I understand his point. He's..." 
 
Marcie shook her head,
  "Don't blame yourself on this one. He was
  cruising for a demotion." 
 
Nuria leaned in,
  "Why?" 
 
"One of the
  secretaries filed sexual harassment charges against him," said Marcie.
  "Kate obviously thought they were serious because she was ready to let
  him go. The next thing she knows, he's got four lawyers with him ready to
  make trouble. And, we're not talking Jacoby & Meyers. Gonzalo's family
  owns a bunch of copper mines or something. These were family lawyers." 
 
Nuria had stopped stirring
  her iced tea, "So, what happened?" 
 
"I didn't see it with
  my own eyes," said Marcie. "But, I've heard it from a number of
  sources. Kate moved Maria into her own office, gave
  her more responsibility, made it clear that the firm was behind her. She moved
  Gonzalo in with Geschbach so that the old guy could keep an eye on him. Only,
  I think Geschbach took a liking to him. Anyway, one day, Maria goes down to
  the Starbucks on the corner for coffee. She comes back twenty minutes later,
  no coffee, crying her eyes out. She doesn't even go to her desk. She goes
  straight to HR, recants her whole story, drops the charges, and quits. No two
  week notice or anything, she just quits." 
 
Nuria frowned, "That's
  awful. What did he do to her?" 
 
"Nothing," said
  Marcie. "That's the official story. Anton Lansing, who wrote
  "Diamond Days" for us, swears he and Gonzalo were in a meeting the
  whole time. And Maria won't say a damned word about it." 
 
"You sound pretty
  angry for someone who didn't see any of this first-hand." 
 
Marcie sighed, "I was
  seeing Gonzalo at the time. It was nothing serious, just a fling. But, it was
  enough that I took his side at first, even went to the wall for him to Kate.
  But, after what he did to Maria...that was the end of it." 
 
"Marcie," asked
  Nuria. "Do you know what he did to Maria? Did he tell you?" 
 
Marcie gave an abrupt shake
  of her head, "If I did or he did, I wouldn't say. I'm pretty mad at his
  right now, but I don't tell secrets." 
 
Nuria was ready to argue,
  but decided not to. She took a deep breath, "I appreciate that." 
 
"But, if I were
  you," Marcie added. "And I were on Gonzo's bad side, I would give
  him a wide berth." 
 
                                        -=- 
                                        
 
Nuria took Marcie's advice,
  staying away from Gonzalo. She had asked Mr. Geschbach if there were a way to
  get manuscripts from the slush file without going and picking them up,
  claiming they were too heavy and hurt her back. Geschbach had stared at her
  for a moment as if he could see right through both her and her excuse, but
  explained how to input a requisition to have an intern bring her a number of
  manuscripts. 
 
That night, she went home
  and got some rest. It turned out that Quentin had a regular Wednesday-night
  poker game that usually ran well past midnight. He offered to cancel it, but
  Nuria had to admit that she was grateful for the sleep. It had been a long
  week and it was only half over.  
 
Thursday night, she and
  Quentin went out for dinner at a little Brazilian restaurant in the fifties.
  It wasn't a celebrity hang out by any means and, if anyone recognized him, they
  were too polite to say so. 
 
When Quentin tried to drop
  her off after dinner, Nuria coaxed him into her room. As embarrassed as she
  was by the tiny space in which she lived, even one night without him had left
  her with a dull ache. At the time, they'd been alone in the apartment. But,
  when Quentin left around three,  
 
Friday was another
  uneventful day at work. For the most part, she avoided Gonzalo. When he
  passed her in the hall, he gave her a wry and enigmatic smile, but said
  nothing. 
 
She and Quentin had plans
  for a late dinner that night. He was taking the red eye to  
 
When she got home,  
 
Nuria sighed, "Oh,
  dear. I already have plans with Quentin." 
 
"That's too bad,"
  said Carla, poking her head out of her room. "It's going to be a rocking
  party." 
 
Nuria sat down and
  stretched out on the couch, "So, what are you two getting ready
  for?" 
 
There was an awkward
  silence. Then,  
 
"Well, like I said, I
  have plans with Quentin." 
 
Carla came out of her room,
  ran over to the couch, and went down on her knees, "Can we go anyway,
  Miss D? Please please please!" 
 
Nuria laughed, "I
  don't see why not. But, I thought you didn't like Sean." 
 
"I don't
  particularly," said Carla. "But, you should hear who's going to be
  there. It's going to be a big deal." 
 
Nuria laid her head on
  Carla's head, laughing, "Go, then. You have my blessing." 
 
Carla kissed her on the
  cheek, squealed, and bounced off to her room. After she was gone,  
 
Nuria sat up and nodded,
  "Of course. Just because I can't make the party doesn't mean you two
  should stay home." 
 
 
 
"That's right,"
  said  
 
                                        -=- 
                                        
 
Nuria was getting dressed
  for dinner when her  
 
Nuria took the handset and
  pressed it to her ear, "Hello." 
 
"Nuria," said
  Quentin. "How are you?" 
 
Nuria smiled, "I'm
  doing well, Quentin. I was just getting dressed for dinner." 
 
"About that..."
  said Quentin.  
 
By the tone of his voice,
  Nuria knew they weren't having dinner tonight. Still, she asked,
  "Yes?" 
 
"Sean is having a
  housewarming tonight," said Quentin. He took a deep breath, "I have
  no intention of going. It would be an hour there and an hour back so that I
  could spent an hour listening to him talk about how
  I exiled him." 
 
Nuria felt her heart sink,
  "Was the break really that bad?" 
 
Quentin chuckled, "No.
  Not at all. Sean just has an overdeveloped sense of melodrama
  sometimes." 
 
"So," said Nuria.
  "What does that have to do with dinner?" 
 
"I told Sean I would
  be writing tonight," said Quentin. "I meant it to be a lie. But,
  now I am writing. And I really should continue. I haven't touched this manuscript
  since the day I ran into you in the bookstore." 
 
Nuria nodded into the
  phone, "I understand. Besides that, if we were spotted and it got back
  to Sean..." 
 
"I would never hear
  the end of it," said Quentin. "Are you horribly disappointed?" 
 
"Yes," admitted
  Nuria. "But, I do understand." 
 
"Did he invite you to
  the party?" asked Quentin. 
 
"Yes," said
  Nuria. "And Pearl and Carla. They're trying on clothes now." 
 
"You should go,"
  said Quentin. "I introduced Sean to a lot of publishing people. Many of
  them will be there. It would be an excellent networking opportunity for
  you." 
 
Nuria closed her eyes and
  rubbed her forehead as if she'd gotten a sudden headache, "I have to
  network? I don't remember that in my contract." 
 
Quentin chuckled, "If
  I can do it, you can do it." 
 
Nuria very much doubted
  that. Somewhere, Quentin had acquired a facility with people greater than any
  she would ever possess. 
 
"You'll have  
 
"More than that if I
  let them," Nuria smirked. 
 
"Excuse me?" 
 
"Err," She was
  glad Quentin couldn't see her blushing over the phone, "I think they
  will. They offered to be my wingmen, whatever that means." 
 
Quentin laughed, "It
  sounds like you'll be fine, then." 
 
Nuria sighed. She had
  nothing to say, but found herself not wanting to hang up. After a long pause,
  Quentin said, "I should get back to work." 
 
"Of course," said
  Nuria, smiling to herself. 
 
                                        -=- 
                                        
 
"I have nothing to
  wear!" 
 
 
 
"You are not allowed
  to say that," she said emphatically. "I thought we must have been
  robbed. Besides," she looked Nuria up and down. "What's wrong with
  what you're wearing?" 
 
"Quentin cancelled on
  me to spend time with his true love," said Nuria, throwing an arm across
  her chest in a gesture of being mortally wounded. "I'm stuck babysitting
  you two tonight." 
 
"He's writing?"
  asked  
 
"I'm afraid so,"
  said Nuria. "I can't compete with the Barrens Princess." 
 
 
 
Carla, who had arrived in
  time to hear most of the conversation, giggled, "Actually, I did a shoot
  in an outfit very much like that. I never got so much e-mail." 
 
 
 
Nuria made an indignant
  noise, "Chaperone? Just for that, I'm spiking the punch." 
 
"Oo," squealed
  Carla. "My favorite kind of chaperone." 
 
"But, what am I going
  to wear?" asked Nuria. "And don't say your Barrens Princess
  costume." 
 
"Hmmm..." said
  Carla, looking into Nuria's closet. "What look are we going for?" 
 
"I guess that depends
  on what sort of party it's going to be," said Nuria. 
 
Carla thought about it,
  "Based on what I know about the man throwing it, I think 'Hot MILF on
  the prowl' is probably your best bet." 
 
"What's a MILF?"
  Nuria asked. 
 
Carla and  
 
Nuria was momentarily
  shocked, but knew she was supposed to be. So, she said, "Why, Carla. I'm
  flattered, but my life is really complicated enough as it is. Besides, I've
  never been a mother." 
 
She felt an odd surge of
  triumph when Carla stood there, shocked.  
 
Carla scowled, "I
  figured that out when I caught you two in bed together." For a moment,
  Nuria thought she was serious, but Carla winked at her and grinned. 
 
"How about this?"
  asked  
 
A half-hour later, they'd settled
  on an outfit. It wasn't what Nuria might have chosen on her own, but  
 
Frowning, she said,
  "I'm not sure it's age appropriate." 
 
"Sure it is,"
  insisted Carla. "If we let you decide what was age
  appropriate, you'd be in a housedress, a girdle, and a walker. You're
  not that old, Miss D." 
 
 
 
Nuria gave a snort,
  "Irrational exuberance." 
 
"Try it on,"
  coaxed  
 
Nuria did as she was told.
  Looking in the mirror, she decided the effect wasn't as bad as she thought. 
 
"What do you
  think?" asked  
 
"I think..." said
  Nuria, turning back and forth, "that I am one good looking MILF." 
 
                                        -=- 
                                        
 
They stripped down and put
  on robes long enough to eat dinner and relax for a while. With ninety minutes
  to drive, they were just getting into  
 
When they walked inside the
  house, Nuria felt a bit smug to see a couple dozen people already milling
  around. That smugness lasted just long enough for Carla to lean over and
  whisper in her ear, "These are the sycophants." 
 
Nuria looked at her,
  "What?" 
 
Carla said quietly,
  "Anybody who showed up in the first hour is here to curry favor. If they
  showed up up in the first fifteen minutes, it was specifically to throw their
  lot in with Sean over Quentin. Of course, that doesn't mean they won't be
  kissing Quentin's ass tomorrow morning." 
 
Nuria raised an incredulous
  eyebrow at her roommate. Carla shrugged, "There's more to being
  fashionably late than you would think." 
 
"Nuria," called
  Sean from across the room, projecting his voice so that everyone heard. Arms
  extended for a hug, he marched across the room to her. Wrapping his arms
  around her, he lowered his head and kissed her dramatically. Still, it was a
  good kiss and Nuria found herself melting into it. 
 
Keeping an arm around
  Nuria's waist, he hugged Carla, kissing her on the cheek, "Carla, it's
  good to see you again." 
 
Carla kissed his cheek in
  return, "It's been a long time, Sean." 
 
Releasing both of them, he
  took  
 
He made a few minutes of
  small talk before spying someone new who had arrived. Turning to Nuria, he
  said, "Don't disappear. There are so many people here I want you to
  meet." 
 
 
 
"Yeah," said
  Carla. "I'd kind of forgotten." 
 
Speaking quietly, Nuria
  said, "If either of you hussies would like to move in on my man, it
  would certainly simplify my life." 
 
Carla shook her head.
  Speaking out of the corner of her mouth, she said, "Not going down that
  road again." 
 
                                        -=- 
                                        
 
Quentin had been right
  about one thing. There turned out to be a ton of publishing people at the
  party. The party seemed to be made up entirely of book people, movie people,
  artists, and models. Whatever deprivation Sean's "exile" had
  wrought, it seemed that enough people were willing to follow him to the
  suburbs that, by midnight, the party was spilling out of its original
  confines, expanding both upstairs and even out onto the untrampled snow of
  the back lawn. 
 
Nuria found herself
  standing on the freshly-cleared balcony overlooking the back yard. The house
  was isolated enough that there didn't seem to be any neighbors who could
  register a noise complaint. It was cold out here, but not as cold as it had
  been. Inside the house, it had started to feel like a sauna. 
 
Nuria stood with drink in
  her hand, looking out over the back yard. A small gaggle of people clustered
  close to the house. The yard was a sheet of unbroken white bordered on two
  sides by a thick field of conifers and in the back by a frozen lake. 
 
A statuesque blonde woman
  in an elegant red dress and carrying a half-full champagne flute stepped in
  next to her, looking out in the same direction Nuria was. Without turning her
  head, she said, "Ellen Grace, Aperture Press." 
 
Nuria smiled and turned her
  head, "Nuria Delgado, Aqueduct." 
 
"Ah," said Ellen,
  turning to look at her now, "So, you're the one who's acquired our enfent terrible." 
 
Nuria didn't recognize the
  phrase, but said, "If you mean Sean, we haven't exactly acquired him
  yet. I'm just helping him smooth out the rough edges on his novel as a
  personal favor." 
 
Ellen raised an eyebrow
  making Nuria wonder if she'd missed a double entendre, "If I were you, I
  wouldn't get too attached to the idea of publishing that one any time soon.
  Some poor sod in my office has been working on a photo book with him for
  almost a year and a half. She says he's about two more flashes of brilliance
  away from having something publishable. When he's on, he's amazing. The rest
  of the time..." she frowned. 
 
Nuria smiled, "Thank
  you for the warning." 
 
Ellen took a sip of her
  drink, "You're working on J. X. Wolffe's next book too. Aren't
  you?" 
 
Nuria nodded, "I just
  got started on it, though." 
 
For the first time, Ellen
  smiled. Seemingly out of nowhere, she produced a business card, "If you
  need anything, give me a call." 
 
Nuria took what she was
  offered, "I'm afraid my cards haven't come in yet." 
 
Ellen reacted as if
  slapped, "All right." 
 
Nuria looked at her,
  surprised. It was clear that Ellen thought she was being snubbed. So, she
  said, "I've only been at Aqueduct for a week. I wasn't expecting to be
  at a party with book people so soon." 
 
Ellen raised an eyebrow,
  "Oh? Where did you work before Aqueduct?" 
 
"Err," said
  Nuria. "It was a little specialty press in  
 
"Ah," said Ellen.
  "Quite a jump you've made, then." 
 
Nuria turned her back a
  bit. It didn't seem she was going to be able to get away from the subject.
  Before she could formulate an answer, though, Ellen said, "I'm probably
  not the first person to ask that. Huh?" 
 
Nuria chuckled,
  "Actually, you are. That's why I don't have a pat answer ready." 
 
Ellen laughed, "You
  could just tell me to mind my own business. I'm really not anyone to talk.
  Aperture is strictly art-house porn. And I'm not even a photo editor there. I
  work with words in photo books. That makes me pretty much the bottom of the
  totem pole. I would kill to work with J. X. Wolffe or even to meet him. I
  never got to those parties--before the exile." 
 
Nuria smiled at Ellen. She
  recognized that this woman might be setting her up, but her instinct was that
  she'd found a good person, "I'll ask Quentin, but I'd love to see you at
  the party next Friday." She smiled, "And, as for the bottom of the
  totem pole, I used to edit books about cement--in Spanish." 
 
Ellen laughed, "Okay.
  You win the 'worst job in publishing' contest. Can you really get me into one
  of J. X. Wolffe's parties?" 
 
"I think so,"
  said Nuria. "Like I said, I have to ask him. But, it shouldn't be a
  problem." 
 
Ellen raised an eyebrow,
  "It's that easy? What do you want in return?" She grinned,
  "Who do I have to sleep with?" 
 
Nuria looked discomfited,
  "Err..." 
 
Ellen blushed and put her
  glass down on the patio railing, "Wow. This champagne is going right to
  my head. Forget I said that, please." 
 
Before Nuria could answer,  
 
"It's too loud and too
  hot downstairs," said Nuria. "Besides, all the book people are
  upstairs. It's all movie types down there." 
 
 
 
"I tried," said
  Nuria. "But, every time I turned around, you were surrounded by
  people." 
 
 
 
"I..." Nuria
  turned as if trying to escape. Nuria gripped her wrist fractionally harder, a
  clear message that she wasn't going anywhere. 
 
Resigned, Nuria made a show
  of putting Ellen's card in her wallet, "It was nice to meet you Ellen.
  If you haven't heard from me by Tuesday, call Aqueduct and ask for me." 
 
Ellen smiled,
  "Thanks." 
 
                                        -=- 
                                        
 
While things upstairs had
  been polite and cordial enough, the party was in full swing downstairs. It
  was hotter and louder than it had been when Nuria had followed the flow of
  editors up the main staircase. Carla was dancing in the center of the room
  surrounded by a thick cloud of people. 
 
"Who's she dancing
  with?" Nuria asked, getting her mouth right up next to  
 
"Everybody," said
   
 
Nuria didn't have time to
  ask what  
 
Nuria's notoriety was
  short-lived however. A few minutes after she made her entrance, a hush came
  over the room quickly replaced by an excited murmur. Since everyone seemed to
  be looking towards the front door, Nuria turned that way as well. For a
  moment, Nuria didn't see what people were fussing about. Then, she realized
  who everyone was looking at. 
 
Standing in center of the
  archway, looking regal even in a floor-length black leather coat and blue
  jeans, was the Barrens Princess. 
 
                                        -=- 
 
It wasn't the Barrens
  Princess of course, but Portia Dale, the young woman who had played her in
  the movies. Nuria had recognized or half-recognized a dozen faces here,
  television actors who hadn't worked in a few years, Broadway types, and the
  like. Compared to Portia Dale, they were commoners. This was an A-List,
  capital-C celebrity. 
 
The only reason it had
  taken Nuria a few seconds to recognize her was that she didn't look much like
  she had the last time Nuria had seen her. The regal bearing that was so much
  a trademark of the character she played seemed to come to her naturally. But,
  her public persona had apparently drawn even more heavily from the character.
  For public appearances, she'd dressed like a princess. Here, she was dressed
  like what she really was--a teenager. 
 
Besides that, she'd cut her
  hair. It was boyishly short and dyed a shade of red that skirted the edge of
  credibility. 
 
"Portia," said
  Sean, appearing from somewhere. It was the same booming, room-cutting voice
  he'd used to announce Nuria's arrival. "I'm so glad you made it." 
 
Portia wrapped herself
  around him, "Sean. You didn't think I would miss it. Did you?" 
 
Instead of letting Sean
  answer, she kissed him. It wasn't a chaste kiss, either. It was the sort of
  kiss that was meant to be a spectacle. Despite the crowd's own sybaritic
  behavior a few minutes before, many of them seemed uncomfortable to be
  watching. 
 
Nuria felt suddenly cold.
  As hot as the room was, she shivered. Pearl but a comforting hand on her
  upper arm. 
 
"Come, come," said
  Sean. "There are some people I want you to meet. Where's Nuria?" 
 
Nuria would have ducked
  behind  
 
"Nuria," he said.
  "This is Portia Dale. Portia, this is Nuria Delgado, who inspired both
  me and some lesser authors to write." 
 
"It's so nice to meet
  you," said Portia. She stepped in close enough that Nuria could smell
  cigarette smoke on her, "Sean has told me so much about you." 
 
Nuria took Portia's proffered
  hand and shook it, "It's nice to meet you too, Miss Dale. I didn't
  realize you knew Sean." 
 
Portia, whose arm was
  firmly around Sean's waist, laughed, "Please. Call me Portia. I haven't
  let anybody since the nuns call me Miss Dale." 
 
Indicating with his arm,
  Sean said, "And this is  
 
"I'm a stripper,"
  said  
 
If Portia heard the tone,
  she ignored it, "You are? For real? That's fabulous. I..." she
  looked around the room. "Listen, I have to make the rounds. But,
  whatever you do, don't leave until we've had a chance to talk." 
 
"All right," said
   
 
"Great," said
  Portia. She kissed  
 
"Well," said
  Nuria once the attention of the room had passed them by. "She was
  pretty." 
 
"I'll hate her if you
  like," offered  
 
Nuria shook her head,
  "No. I knew I was going to have to do something about Sean. It looks
  like it's been done for me." 
 
"Good," said  
 
                                        -=- 
 
Some time shortly after
  midnight, the book people started saying their good byes and leaving. But, by
  the time two o'clock rolled around, the heart of the party showed few signs
  of waning.  
 
One of the few signs was
  that Carla finally seemed to run out of energy for dancing. She flopped down
  on a couch next to Nuria. A few minutes later,  
 
"Are you two ready to
  go?"  
 
"Did you get a chance
  to talk to Portia yet?" Nuria asked. 
 
 
 
Nuria waved her off,
  "Nah. Let's give it a little more time." 
 
Resting on the couch, she
  spent the next hour or so talking to a Broadway choreographer who also seemed
  to have run out of energy. He was charming, witty, and quite possibly the
  gayest man Nuria had ever met--the perfect companion for the moment. During the
  conversation, she'd lost track of her roommates, but knew they wouldn't go
  far without her. 
 
The party was finally
  showing signs of running out of steam when a woman Nuria vaguely recognized
  from some of Sean's photographs came over to the couch. 
 
"Nuria?" she
  asked. When Nuria nodded, she said, "Sean is looking for you. He's
  upstairs." 
 
Nuria rose, made her
  apologies to the choreographer, braced herself to
  look properly disappointed when Sean dumped her, and headed upstairs. 
 
Packed with book people a
  few hours before, the upstairs seemed deserted now. It took Nuria a few
  minutes to find the only room with even low light on. Looking inside, she saw
  Sean standing by the window, shirtless, moonlight etching and deepening the
  chiseled lines of his chest and belly. 
 
He turned, "Nuria.
  Good. I was looking for you. Come in." 
 
Nuria stepped inside,
  realizing about three steps in that this was a bedroom. She slowed her pace.
  Sean, seeming to sense her hestitation, turned and met her halfway across the
  room, at the foot of the four-poster bed. He took one hand and one elbow in
  his hands. 
 
"Are you having a good
  time?" he asked. 
 
Nuria looked up at him,
  "Yes. I am." 
 
Sean leaned down to kiss
  her, one hand sliding up to entangle itself in her hair and tilt her head back
  for full effect. It was very similar to the kiss he'd given Portia earlier.
  But, this seemed to be solely for Nuria's benefit and she found herself
  melting into his arms. 
 
"Oh, Sean," she
  moaned. Despite the fact that she'd drunk almost nothing tonight, Nuria was
  starting to feel light-headed. She leaned against Sean, letting him hold her
  up. 
 
"Nuria," he said, his smile predatory. "I was wondering if you
  would do something for me." 
 
The way he held and touched
  her coupled with the lust in his voice made it clear what Sean wanted. She
  shivered in his arms and would have agreed to anything. But, a thought that
  had been dimly troubling her mind finally clarified itself. 
 
"Sean, why do you need
  me? You've clearly got Portia Dale." 
 
As soon as she said the
  name, Nuria had an odd moment of premonition. It took less than a second to
  come true. 
 
The room was L-shaped, the corner she hadn't been able to see when she
  entered bathed in deeper shadows than the rest of the room. One of those shadows
  detached itself from the others and stepped into the half-light of the room,
  resolving itself into the actress. Nuria was too surprised to move before
  Portia was close enough to lay a hand on her back. 
 
Nuria turned to look at
  her. Portia smiled, a hint of the same predatory
  spirit that had been overwhelming in Sean's face. But, mostly the smile
  conveyed amusement. 
 
"He's had me for a
  while, sweetie," said Portia. "And now he's had you too." Her
  hand ran down Nuria's spine, "But, don't worry. I'm not the jealous
  sort." 
 
Nuria shivered and looked
  up at Sean. He raised an eyebrow and looked down at her, the question obvious
  in his eyes. 
 
Nuria took a deep breath
  and leaned back against Portia. The actress's hands went around her waist. 
 
               
                         -=- 
 
"So?" asked
  Carla. "Where did you disappear to anyway?" 
 
Nuria hugged herself inside
  her coat in the back seat, still warmed by the afterglow of what she'd just
  done, "Sean wanted me." 
 
"Did he break it off
  with you?" asked  
 
Nuria giggled, something
  she couldn't remember having done in a long time, "No--not
  exactly." 
 
Taking her eyes off the
  road,  
 
"Watch the road,"
  said Nuria. "And, yes. I did." 
 
None of them spoke for a
  minute. The sun wasn't visible yet, but lightened the sky in front of them. 
 
"What about
  Quentin?"  
 
"Quentin told me to
  get Sean out of my system," said Nuria. "I was just doing what I
  was told." 
 
"Wait," said  
 
Nuria hoped her smile was
  enigmatic, "Closer than that." 
 
                                        -=- 
 
Somehow, Nuria found
  herself sitting on the bed between Sean and Portia without remembering how
  she got there. Sean was kissing her throat, Portia running her hands over
  Nuria's stomach and breasts. In the process of getting to the bed, she also
  seemed to have lost her clothes. 
 
She closed her eyes,
  letting the sensation of touch become everything. Hands ran over her breasts
  and back. Lips, tongues, and teeth teased her neck and shoulders. Her lips
  were kissed over and over again. Sometimes, she could tell who was touching
  her. The thin, delicate hands that cupped her breasts, teasing and pinching
  her nipples were clearly Portia's. The strong hands that laid her back on the
  bed, Sean's. 
 
Most of the time, she
  couldn't tell or didn't care. She was overcome by sensation as if her whole
  body was being touched at once. It wasn't until a tongue flickered between
  her thighs, teasing her inner flesh that her eyes flew open. She looked down
  to see a head of boyishly-short nearly impossible red hair pressed between
  her legs. Sean lay to Nuria's left, stroking up and down her belly and
  cleavage, grinning like a well-fed wolf. 
 
As she felt her pleasure
  rising, Nuria buried her fingers as best she could in Portia's hair, dragging
  the actress up her body to kiss her on the mouth, their bodies pressed
  together. Her hands slid down Portia's body, stroking and petting her. As her
  hands went down to Portia's waist, Nuria realized the actress still had her
  pants on. She reached for the snap, but Portia caught her wrists gently. 
 
"Not like that,"
  purred Portia. "Not tonight. Just let us make love to you." 
 
Nuria nodded and lay back.
  Portia kissed her on the mouth, then traced a line
  of kisses down to where she had left off between Nuria's thighs. 
 
Portia proved to be an
  enthusiastic and skillful lover as was Sean. Besides that, they worked well
  enough together that Nuria suspected this wasn't their first threesome.
  Earlier, the thought might have bothered her more, but she was quivering on
  the cusp of climax when she realized it and, if the idea didn't send her over
  the edge, it didn't seem to interfere with the process much either. 
 
When Portia stopped what
  she was doing, she came back up and kissed Nuria on the mouth. Nuria could
  taste herself on the actress's lips and mischievously licked a line down
  Portia's cheek. Portia smiled affectionately at her, then leaned up and
  kissed Sean on the mouth before rising from the bed. 
 
Nuria was dimly aware of
  Portia getting dressed, but Sean's ardor was rising by the moment. He kissed
  and stroked her like a man preparing to claim her. And, in short order, he
  proved her theory correct, spreading Nuria's legs with one powerful hand and
  climbing between them. He entered her easily, hands lifting her hips to
  better line up to his thrusts. Nuria's back was arched so that her weight was
  rested on her shoulders. Each time Sean impaled her, Nuria had to regain her
  balance. Shortly, she began to feel like a ragdoll. It didn't matter. The
  pleasure was intense, waves and aftershocks echoing through her nerves until
  she was only dimly aware of anything outside of her own skin. Even Sean's
  climax barely registered. 
 
                                        -=- 
 
"You did not,"
  said Carla, unable to hide her shock. She had turned around completely,
  kneeling on the front seat to look back at Nuria, who said nothing, but gave
  her most enigmatic smile. 
 
"Holy shit!" said
  Carla. "You did. How did you manage that?" 
 
Nuria chuckled, "I
  didn't plan it. I went upstairs expecting Sean to break up with me. Instead,
  he started kissing me and, the next thing I knew, she was there." 
 
Carla frowned, "He
  ambushed you with a threesome? Not cool." 
 
Nuria shrugged, "I
  didn't mind." 
 
Carla's frown didn't
  disappear, "He tried to pull that on me. That's why I stopped seeing
  him." 
 
Nuria didn't say anything.
  She sat thoughtfully watching the first slivers of sunrise. Carla continued
  to watch her. 
 
"But, if you're cool
  with it, more power to you, Miss D." 
 
Nuria sighed, "It was
  a nice way to pass an hour." 
 
Neither Carla nor  
 
                                        -=- 
 
"This is nice,"
  said Sean, running a finger up Nuria's belly. 
 
"Mmmm," Nuria
  said, snuggling into his side. "Where did Portia go?" 
 
Sean shrugged, "Damned
  if I know. I have no control over her." 
 
Nuria kissed his chest,
  "I should get going.  
 
Sean nodded, sitting up and
  helping her rise. 
 
"Aren't you glad you
  picked the right student?" he asked. 
 
Nuria tried not to respond
  other than to ask calmly, "What do you mean?" 
 
"Quentin had a crush
  on you for what he wanted you to be. I always loved you for what I knew you
  were." 
 
Nuria gave him a serious
  look, "And what am I?" 
 
Sean shrugged,
  "Everybody knew the stories, Nuria. I was never scandalized, though. I
  knew that my teachers were people. You were younger then than I am now,
  barely out of college." 
 
Nuria decided not to follow
  the line of the conversation. She didn't see any point in picking a fight. 
 
                                        -=- 
 
"I need a
  shower," Nuria announced back at their apartment. She turned to  
 
 
 
Nuria stretched and
  shivered, "It's freezing in here. Do you want to come keep me warm
  tonight?" 
 
 
 
"I don't know,"
  said Nuria, wiggling her hips. "I'm still pretty wound up." 
 
"I should probably
  sleep in my own bed, then." 
 
Nuria looked at  
 
"Is everything all
  right?" 
 
 
 
Nuria shrugged expansively,
  "I had a good time tonight." 
 
"Still..." said  
 
Nuria's face darkened,
  "I didn't do anything wrong. Everyone involved knew what they were
  doing." 
 
"That's true,"
  said  
 
Nuria found herself starting to get angry, but forced herself to
  consider what  
 
"I can't be like you
  two," Nuria said quietly. 
 
"Nobody expects you
  to,"  
 
"I mean..." said
  Nuria. She took a deep breath, "I used to see a therapist when I first
  came to  
 
 
 
"It means," said
  Nuria, "that I either let them control me or completely ignore them. I
  don't know how to have them and just pick and choose which ones to listen to
  or how much weight to give them." 
 
"I..." 
 
Nuria held up a hand,
  "Most of the time you've known me, it's been the other way. I was so
  inhibited that I couldn't even think about sex without feeling guilty. I
  hardly even touched myself much less anyone else. I was settling into
  spinsterhood. You hit it on the head when you said I seemed...castrated.
  That's how I felt. And, it was fine. But, right now, it seems awful." 
 
"It sounds pretty
  awful to me," admitted  
 
"What I find
  depressing," said Nuria, "is that I'll almost certainly go back to
  that again. And, when I do, I'll look back on this...all of this and be
  ashamed of it. I'll be ashamed of all of it, not just what I did tonight, but
  what I've done with Quentin and Sean and you. If I dwell on it...and I will
  dwell on it, I'll think of what an awful person I was to dance with that cute
  boy from Cabaret...I've forgotten his name." 
 
 
 
Nuria laughed, even though
  the question wasn't funny, "Being married was easy. I didn't have to
  worry about my inhibitions. All I had to worry about was what Pete approved
  or disapproved of. He was my rock and my moral compass. After he was gone, I
  just collapsed in on myself. I miss him terribly." 
 
 
 
Nuria shook her head,
  "No. I had to stop after a while." 
 
 
 
Nuria laughed, "No.
  God no, Pearl. I just couldn't afford it anymore. Therapy is expensive,
  particularly in  
 
 
 
Nuria asked,
  "What?" 
 
"If you keep up in
  this direction, it's going to be a disaster." 
 
Nuria sighed and pushed her
  hair out of her eyes, "I know. But, I don't know how to stop without
  stopping everything and going back to the way I was." 
 
"You could go back to
  therapy," suggested  
 
Nuria shook her head
  glumly, "It wasn't really helping." 
 
"Talk to Doug,"
  said  
 
Nuria frowned, "I'm
  not sure I would be comfortable telling my problems to some office temp
  turned new age guru." 
 
For a moment, Nuria
  wondered if she'd finally managed to insult  
 
"All right,"
  Nuria agreed. She already planned to talk to Doug Fischer anyway. It didn't
  hurt to humor her roommate. 
 
"I'm going to get some
  sleep..." said  
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