Chapter 37
Conspiracies and Justifications

Armand got the word about twenty minutes later. Putting Witherspoon on speaker, he allowed Jason to listen in to the after action review. "Ms. Adams is all right and properly protected?"

"Yes, Sir," Witherspoon replied. "Not a scratch on her."

"All right." Armand turned to Jason. "Obviously, since we didn't hand Mr. Pinkham his head on the first pass, the lesson didn't sink in. Any suggestions?"

"Perhaps we should visit him at home?" Jason suggested with his characteristic grin.

"Only if we can make it look easy," Armand replied. "I want to avoid further escalation. Mr. Pinkham needs to determine that further competition in this area is unhealthy, and should be avoided, not be tempted to take things to the next level. For that matter, his lack of sense says to me that he is unworthy to hold a monopoly on anything in this town, and I think we should put an end to that particular fantasy." Armand frowned. "I really never wanted to go into the entertainment business..."

"Perhaps we can farm it out," Jason replied. "Ms. Adams apparently is a pretty savvy character; properly supported, she might be able to carry the ball."

"Hmmmm," Armand mused. "Witherspoon, put a penetration team on Rodday. I want to be able to visit his home or his offices without incurring anything in the way of a surprise. Start immediately, as we'll need to follow up quickly."

"Will do, Sir. I already have some data from the time we dropped those people off."

"Good." Armand closed the call. Eyeing Jason, he said, "We'll need a business model. All I know about these things is what I see in the movies. It appears that Ms. Adams should come to visit." Jason nodded. "And touch our usual contacts -- ask them about their opinion of Rodday. I have the impression that there are some things that he does right; I may want to offer a carrot with my stick."

Jason nodded and departed.

"Is everybody here?" Randall asked rhetorically. They were at Jimmy Hightower's pool house, gathered here and there in clusters. Jimmy and Randall were working on the entertainment center, preparing to display downloaded probe data on several of Saturn's satellites and associated papers. Danny the Wop and Thelma were presiding over the snacks and drinks. Amy was acting as hostess, largely dealing with Mary and Stick Williams while Teddy tried to figure out where he was supposed to be -- with his mates, or with his colleagues.

"Darla Jean..." Jimmy began, but there was a rap on the door, and the lanky redhead diffidently stuck her head through the door. Amy immediately moved to greet her, and Mary moved to support; Stick found himself going with Mary's recommendation that he visit Danny the Wop.

Teddy saw him make the move and gratefully shifted his attention to Jimmy and Randall. "Hey, Guys."

"Hey, Teddy. The family settled?" Jimmy asked, grinning.

"I guess," Teddy replied. "We're kind of an odd bunch."

"I haven't figured out what holds you three together," Randall commented, "besides sex..."

Teddy shrugged, obviously nervous with the subject matter, but replied, "Each of us has some basic needs that get covered by the others. Sex is big, but it isn't everything." The answer sounded good, but it led to more questions; fortunately, the other two were busy.

"Well, Darla Jean should be HERE, so why don't you see if you can wrestle her away from the females?" Randall grunted.

"Sure..." Teddy moved out.

Meanwhile, the girls were settling in. "I'm not sure why I'm here, exactly," Darla Jean muttered, "but if you guys want me around..."

Amy took this: "Randall insists that there BE an Astronomy Club meeting -- he's not much on pretexts. But several -- MOST -- of us were in on last weekend in some way, and Randall feels that there should be some admissions of guilt. You didn't get where you are without help, despite the fact that nobody expected you to be caught up with Ted like that."

"You make it seem like a grand conspiracy," Darla Jean argued. "I don't see how that's possible."

"I do," Mary replied, "and I was a ringleader. All will become clear, Hon."

"Hey," Teddy announced, arriving, "Randall wants to know if you can pack last weekend's observations into a slideshow."

"Sure." Darla Jean let herself be dragged off. At least nobody here was treating her like a pariah, even though she gave little credence to the grand conspiracy theory. After all, SHE was the one who opened her legs, wasn't she?

The next thirty minutes was absorbing for some, and boring for others. Stick absorbed groceries and engaged in a desultory conversation with Danny -- who was used to coming to these things -- and Thelma and Mary, who weren't. Amy chipped in from time to time while keeping the others in snacks, running back and forth for Jimmy and Randall, and, ultimately, Darla Jean, while Mary serviced Teddy's limited needs. All of the 'hothouse minds' were busy downloading data, hooking up equipment, or preparing presentations.

Finally, Randall started getting assessments from the others of where they were and the final prep began. Danny saw it and mumbled, "Awright, they're gonna start the slide show," and ambled toward the conversation nook in front of the entertainment and computing equipment. The others made to follow; Stick and Mary settled on a bed in the center area due largely to the lack of seats.

But slides weren't the first thing on the agenda. Randall stood up and began nervously, "Okay, before we get started, some things need to be said. I, uh..." He ground to a halt, trying to figure out how on Earth to continue. "This last week has been a little wild for some of us, and it all started with last Friday's meeting. Darla Jean, you're very welcome as a member of the Astronomy Club, and we're proud to have you, but that wasn't..." Randall tried, but going on was something he didn't have in him.

Mary waited a moment and took over, from her position in the back. "It all started with us: Teddy and Stick and I. We wanted to do an overnight at my house, but didn't want Teddy's mother to be suspicious. So Teddy, Randall, and Jimmy arranged a meeting." She met Darla Jean's eye. "I lied to you -- I never meant to be here."

"Only I wanted a favor," Randall supplied. "They offered to buy me off with some videos, but everyone was showing up with girlfriends..."

"He wanted his pound of flesh," Mary resumed, grinning wryly. "So a few of us got to thinking about it, and your name came up." Darla Jean started looking flustered, but Mary continued, "There were a bunch of issues; we couldn't just fob off any old chick on Randall, because ultimately, he'd have no tolerance for an airhead, even if she WAS getting his dick wet... We had a little inside information on both of you, and it seemed a good match. I knew you weren't the total drone you pretended to be, and Teddy knew that Randall was hung; both of you stood to gain, even though Randall's first reaction was something like, 'Well, she's no Pamela Anderson...'" Darla Jean's eyes swept to Randall, who turned bright red, but Mary chided, "Don't blame HIM -- you were hiding, deliberately, remember? Besides, he bought in, largely due to the fact that you have a brain in your head! Anyway, we negotiated breaking the sex ban at the Astronomy Club to get you a membership -- something ALL the boys resisted, instinctively, since it's where they used to jack off and talk about girls -- and then Nora and I set you up in Health class." At this point, Mary had pinged the guys several times and been deliberately graphic; none of them was in any condition to look Darla Jean in the eye.

"So it was all rigged?" Darla Jean was shading to a serious red.

"Well, it was, and it wasn't. It was more matchmaking," Mary replied. "We talked to Dina Nellis, who is pretty good at it, and she said that success has to do with providing a little inside information, doing some expectation-setting, and if it's going to work, it does. To be fair, we were angling for the two of you to be an item, not a one-nighter."

"Inside info? Expectation setting?" Darla Jean didn't know if she wanted to hear this...

"Yeah. We gave Randall a clue that you REALLY wanted sex, but weren't too good at showing it. I told him that you were shy, and not likely to react if he was too subtle; basically, I told him the wall was up, and he needed to go at it and not worry too much unless you had an absolute fit -- that a simple, 'Randall, you shouldn't do that!' in anything less than a loud, carrying voice accompanied by a slap was just you instinctively covering yourself."

"You encouraged him to rape me?"

"No, not really!" Mary argued. "Randall's a nice boy; if he did something and you did nothing -- or worse, made some minor complaint -- he'd stop, instinctively, run out of guts, and give up. But if you said anything, it'd just be fear protecting your virtue, and you'd be cursing yourself for blowing it, afterward, right? Not today, but last Friday, remember? Before sex?"

"Well, yeah..."

"Well, Randall isn't exactly the world's most experienced and polished dude, either; he needed to be encouraged to punch through. He needed some idea what was going on in your head or else he'd take some weak shot, you'd bounce him, and both of you would spend the rest of the night kicking yourselves, understand?"

"Well, okay..."

"Yeah, I know it's a bit of a betrayal, but would you rather have done without?" Mary asked. "On the other hand, it takes two to tango; we let you in on the fact that Randall had TWO oversize heads, not just one -- something you went more or less directly to Thelma to verify, which kinda tipped YOUR hand -- and TA DA!" Mary grinned conspiratorially. "Besides, Randall was always on your short list, wasn't he? And he shot right to the top, didn't he?" Darla Jean just sat there, her mouth working, so Mary turned to Randall, "Has she ever come on to you before?"

Randall turned his attention to Darla Jean. "Yeah," he replied. "I never realized it until after we talked last week, but she has. It was so subtle, that I totally overlooked it at the time, but when I started hunting for incidents in my memory, there were a couple of things..."

"Oh my God," Darla Jean buried her face in her hands, "You, like, totally outed me!"

"I greased the skids," Mary admitted, "but you both could still have avoided the whole thing. But neither of you was inclined to do so, anyway, so..." She shrugged. "Anyway, we engineered the invitation to join the club. Frankly, it was perfect, because you're the girl most likely to be interested, for purely intellectual reasons. It was another case of letting nature take it's course."

"So the meeting was a sham?" Darla Jean asked.

"Nooo..." Randall fielded this one. "While it is true that we've examined some of those objects before, the techniques were ones we use all the time, and from that standpoint it was a test to see if you could deal with the equipment and the physical discomforts. We've slept in that cave I don't know how many times -- but this is the first time it was co-ed."

Amy nodded. "It was MY first time up there, too, and frankly, Jimmy and I deliberately made things hard on you, pushing things in sexual directions as often as possible. We had the ingredients together -- Jimmy and I kept the heat on and kept stirring, prodding you and prodding Randall when he needed it. Thelma and Danny helped, too -- they didn't know it when we came to go down to the bathroom, but they were there to add to things, if possible." Amy fluffed her hair. "And at bedtime, it looked like we'd failed. What happened?"

Randall and Darla Jean shared a glance, and Randall said nothing. Darla Jean eyed him a moment and tilted her head. Randall apparently hadn't dragged her through the mud at any point in the last week, and here, in front of a group who knew all about it and was inclined to press her for honesty, he still held his peace about the actual mechanics... "It was all about warmth," she replied. "You two set us up with the naked in the bag thing, but my bag was too thin for the cold. Randall even gave me a blanket, but it wasn't enough. I went up there unprepared -- not enough clothing, and not enough bedding. I went to him to get warm, and we weren't wearing much and..." She shrugged, embarrassed. "Both of us were frustrated, and had been prodded to get brave..." She rubbed her face with both hands. "So, there was a big conspiracy. Why come clean now?"

Randall stirred. "I felt bad. We started something, and things went downhill for you from there..." He sighed. "Friday night was about sex, and we used you."

Darla Jean produced a wry smile. "Randall, if you'd been listening to Mary closely, you'd have realized that I was a co-conspirator. I wanted to do what we did in the worst way -- I just didn't have the guts. You guys -- all of you -- made it easy, which was something I needed. As for the Dwayne and Ted show, that wasn't your fault, either; I was playing wild thing, shopping around. If it WAS your fault, it was because you made it so good -- something I'm NOT going to complain about!"

Mary broke in, "What I can't figure out is why you both went shopping, after. We kinda planned for you two to be a couple..."

"It was the approach," Darla Jean replied. "The focus was on sex, for both of us. There wasn't any real attempt to get emotionally committed, although probably both of us would have entertained the idea on the front side. But once we'd had sex -- and NOT made any emotional commitment -- I know I wanted to make comparisons and get experience, so I rushed out to chase down something else..." She mused a moment. "The Ted thing was just bad luck, but I never planned to do anything with Dwayne but have sex, either, and for most people, that says bad things about me..."

"You were just acquiring a statistical sample..." Randall offered. "I did, too, for that matter, although it was more a case of somehow accidentally generating a reputation..."

"Really?" Darla Jean wondered aloud. "Nobody ever confronted me with you, so I assumed that you didn't say anything..."

"He didn't," Mary interjected. "Peggy figured it out from something you said and threw herself at him. But then SHE gave out an after-action review in gym class that said Randall was a love machine and hung like a horse, and a bunch of girls suddenly got thoughtful. If you're thinking clearly, Randall has it all over just about ANY jock; when it turned out that Randall's sex score was a proven, high-end thing, where as most jocks are mere legends and rumors, well..." She shrugged, grinning. "When Erin turned out an even more glowing report -- and Erin's had Robbie, remember..." She locked eyes with Darla Jean. "The REAL surprise was when I talked to both Randall and Erin about the whole incident -- you see, Erin is a real challenge to get off, despite her willingness, and she had a lot to learn to even be worthwhile -- but Randall taught her a few things, got her confident, got her going, and, most of all, got her off..." She shrugged, rolling her eyes. "Turns out he DESERVES the reputation..."

"Whoa, whoa!" Randall threw out his hands. "She's had Rob, for God's sake!"

"And he failed to get her off," Mary replied, nodding. "This from the horse's mouth, by the way. Erin was one of Rob's first, but it wasn't any too successful, despite the fact that it made his rep and ruined hers. She learned a LOT from your little run-in, and one of the BIG things was how it was SUPPOSED to be. Toby's gonna have his hands full..."

"Toby?" Darla Jean blinked.

"Uh, yeah," Mary replied. "More shameless manipulation on my part. Despite the odd membership of this group, it's a closed meeting..." She eyed Stick, making her point. "Everybody here was in on last Friday. Toby tried to invite himself to the meeting, and I sicced Erin on him to keep him from coming. Erin was all too happy to oblige; she has that itch you get after having the good stuff..." There were several chuckles.

Randall blushed. "I just can't be that great..."

"Oh?" Mary raised her eyebrows. "Lessee, thoughtful, considerate, inventive, well-hung. You treat a slut like a lady, and you don't blab it to the world..."

"Well, I wasn't any too secretive about having lost my cherry," Randall argued.

"Did you name names?" Mary pressed.

"No," Randall replied, flatly. "Wouldn't be right."

Mary grinned triumphantly, "See?"

"That's just..." Randall began.

"Chivalry," Mary replied. "And only you guys in the Brain Trust don't realize that chivalry is dead -- which makes you really sweet boys, but makes it even harder for you to get laid."

There were chuckles, Amy and Thelma among them. "It's true," Amy piped up. "Jimmy... I'd have never noticed Jimmy on my own -- if it hadn't been for Dina, I'd probably be just another member of Bang Nation right now. Instead, I have Jimmy..." She regarded her boyfriend with starry eyes.

"And I have Danny!" Thelma piped up. Danny blushed crimson, an odd thing for the dark, heavily muscled, somewhat ugly boy. Jimmy Hightower shook his head. Objectively, Thelma was no catch -- scrawny, virtually breast-less -- a stick figure with a droopy nose and, until VERY recently, a perpetual scowl and the nasty temper to go with it. But she and Danny, thrown together, had proven to be one Hell of a combination; Danny had proven to be a catalyst, producing a glowing, happy Thelma Version 2.0 who continually surprised those who were used to the original. Danny had come off better, too, but it was perception, rather than an actual change; he'd always been steady, loyal, and generally kind-hearted and thoughtful -- he merely LOOKED forbidding, typecast by his Mafia thug-like appearance. But Thelma's open adoration made these things visible to others besides Jimmy, who had been the only one for a long time to see the true worth of his childhood friend.

As a result of Thelma's declaration, there were several chuckles. But Darla Jean had a question. "Mary, you've said that you basically started all of this trying to get an alibi for Teddy. But why did you need one? You've been chasing Teddy off and on FOREVER. And -- forgive me, Stick -- it's nothing personal, but how do you figure in this?"

Everyone stopped. There wasn't a person in the room that didn't want the answer to these questions, aside from the principals. Mary, Teddy, and Stick shared a glance, weighing things. Stick sighed and nodded. All of HIS friends knew -- Teddy's deserved the truth, too. Mary sighed. "It's complicated," she began. "Prom night, we kind of stressed our credibility with Teddy's mother, and there had been another evening in between; she's pretty over-protective, and Teddy's social life had taken a sudden serious jump. We needed something 'safe' to tell her..." Mary grinned. "As to Stick..."

"That's a little bit more complicated," Teddy took this up, following a deep breath. "You're right about Mary, but it was always kind of half-hearted on her part; I was pretty much a fall-back position for Mary -- something that she knew she could accomplish, if she had to, because, in the end she could always blackmail me."

"Well, I kinda had reforming you in mind as a project," Mary interjected.

There was a little silence -- everyone was confused. They were supposed to be clarifying things, and at this point, they appeared to be even less clear. Teddy broke the silence, "You see, things are a little more complicated than they appear; until Prom night, I was pretty sure I was gay. I AM bisexual..."

"Bisexual?" Randall blinked.

"Uh huh. The relationship the three of us have is a little more complicated than it appears; you see, it's not just Stick and I vying for Mary's attention -- we have our own relationship..."

"Yeh," Stick grunted. "I guess that kinda makes me bisexual, too..."

Silence. Randall and Jimmy started running this through their heads, and actually, the idea that Teddy might be gay wasn't a surprise; it was almost a surprise that he liked girls! Stick, however, was a surprise...

But the person who actually broke the silence was Danny. "Nothin' wrong with that..." he murmured defensively.

Jimmy and Thelma both turned surprised glances on Danny, who mumbled, "I gotta cousin... We..." Thelma's shocked glance said she felt threatened, but Danny squelched it, "I like girls better. But until Prom night, I didn't know..."

Thelma collapsed against Danny, relieved; Jimmy, on the other hand, had to work his way through the shock. Was he homophobic? No, that was a ridiculous prejudice, and besides, the subconscious realization that Teddy might be gay hadn't affected their relationship -- but Danny? How had he never noticed?

Danny answered for him. "It never came up. I was kinda afraid you wouldn't like it, and I didn't want to mess up our friendship. Besides, it ain't as if I don't like girls -- it was more a case of until Prom Night, I couldn't get one. With my cousin, it was free and easy and no one was making love noises -- we just got each other off." He looked down at Thelma. "Not that I don't LIKE love noises. I don't think I could make 'em with a guy."

Thelma experienced a vivid memory of Danny watching Jimmy pound Amy metronomically on Prom night -- one that took on new implications. "Are you just telling me what I want to hear?" she asked distantly.

"No, Baby. I'm telling you what I feel. Does this make a difference? We kinda touched on it before..."

Thelma nodded. They HAD, actually, on Prom night. Each of them had more or less admitted that they'd have had sex with their best friend if the situation had arisen. Thelma put it aside. "No. As long as you're not settling for me..."

"Huh! No fuckin' way!" Danny cuddled his diminutive girlfriend.

Stick was bemused. Why Danny had come to the rescue of himself and Teddy was less than clear, but it had been damn nice of him and kind of de-fused things...

Randall came back to the main revelation, addressing Teddy: "So, you guys are... Uh, how long has this been -- how long have you been..."

Teddy shrugged. "Girls were pretty scary; I realized a while back that I was a whole lot more comfortable around guys, and that I didn't mind looking at a..." He stopped, blushing profusely.

"Dick, Honey?" Mary, always willing to be a bit gauche to keep things moving, supplied the word.

Teddy nodded. "Anyway, like I said, I'd started thoroughly believing that I was gay. Mary knew it, and it gave her a lever on me, but I think she was struggling with whether it was right to blackmail me into a relationship or not..."

"I went back and forth," Mary admitted. "The other half of me wanted to reform you. Your Mama and your personality were a couple of big strikes against your ever getting a rep as a stud; I didn't think you were getting a fair shake. Little did I know..." She grinned.

"Anyway, I was being careful and taking it easy," Teddy continued, "I'd only given a couple of b-blowjobs before Prom night." Suddenly, he couldn't raise his head.

"Well, you coulda fooled ME!" Stick exclaimed. "I was drunk an' doin' without an' never had a queer thought before I stuck my dick through that hole -- but the mouth that went to work on it belonged to an absolute pro! I come outta there wantin' a re-match BAD -- an' the fact that the other end of the deal wuz probly a dude jus' didn't fuckin' matter!"

Randall and Jimmy had looks on their faces that said, 'Too much information!' but Danny was nodding thoughtfully. Thelma had basically the same look. Amy and Darla Jean were... surprised... but getting questions answered.

Mary decided to interject again. "This shouldn't be a surprise. Guys are horny about a hundred and fifteen percent of the time, and a lot of them discover at some point that another guy can offer them relief. Other guys are easier to get, once the barriers are down; girls are worried about long-term commitments and pregnancy -- another guy will take care of the immediate problem and that will be the end of it. Girls do it, too -- except for the ones who have the inclination to get emotionally involved, a friendly lick or a frig at a pajama party is just that -- safe relief. That it feels better to have somebody else's fingers or tongue working on you isn't strange -- sex isn't something you're supposed to have to do to yourself." The guys weren't looking around, they were listening for the piece of Mary's dissertation pointed at them -- but every girl in the place was one shade of red or another. Most of them had been going without until recently, and all of them had spent endless hours talking about the lack -- and a couple of them had engaged in at least limited 'stress relief', even if it was just masturbating while watching another girl do it, too.

"The flip side," Stick interjected, "is that guys cain't admit it, mostly, 'cause it takes 'em out of the competition. I dunno how to explain it, but suckin' a dick moves ya 'way down the totem pole."

"It's kind of a dominance thing," Darla Jean interjected. "Giving head is submissive behavior."

"Uh, yeah," Stick nodded. "Gettin' your dick sucked isn't as bad; I guess 'cause it's a dominance thing -- puts you in charge -- but I guess it makes ya sort of an asshole if you're on top all the time."

"That's why a lot of gay activity -- especially among the more dominant types -- is anonymous. You get a little relief from a stranger, and you don't have to give up your position among your friends," Mary added. "Girls have less of a problem with this, because they're not competing, well, for girls, among other things. Unless you're 'way up on top, getting a guy is more about how low you'll go, not how high. It's a seller's market -- you adjust the price to get what you want. Girls can sometimes afford to let their hair down with their friends, since it's usually a shared issue. Girls don't have anything to gain by outing each other, while boys theoretically move up while taking another boy down." Mary smiled. "MY boys walked straight out of their first little run-in directly into my arms -- literally. I took 'em home, lubed 'em with a little beer, and told 'em if they wanted to play, they were safe at my house -- but they had to try out girls, too. Teddy was a little tentative at first, but Prom night turned out to be a big night for cherry picking; I got two, Stick got at least one, and Teddy got at least one, too..."

"Anyway," Stick took things up, "turns out both 'a us like girls, but neither of us is prejudiced too much against guys, either. Takes a special woman ta deal wit' that..." He flicked a glance at Mary. "There's some guy shit I'll do, an' there's some I won't -- an' there's some I'll ONLY do wit' Ted, 'cause he deserves it. We got an exclusive thing goin' an' each of us gets stuff outta it that ain't just sex. Ain't like anybody else gotta worry about bein' hit on." There were a couple of unconscious sighs of relief at this.

"HEY!" Mary put two fingers in her mouth and whistled. "Both of my men are ALL MAN! When Stick lays pipe, it's about a foot long, and when Teddy does, it's about a foot thick! Neither of them has ANYTHING to worry about in the woman-pleasing department -- I'm one happy camper! The fact that they have a relationship between themselves keeps me from having to choose between them, and that makes life JUST GRAND!"

"I ain't no foot long," Stick grunted, embarrassed.

"He's every bit as big as Randall, anyway -- maybe Jimmy!" Mary argued.

Teddy nodded agreement, which got him some looks, and added, "Obviously, I'm not that thick..."

"Okay, okay, I exaggerated!" Mary complained, "But he's seriously filling -- would you try to masturbate with a soda can? Or a fat cucumber? Not one of those English jobs..." Mary made a circle out of the thumb and forefingers of both hands, demonstrating Teddy's surprising girth. "Teddy's hard to handle -- he takes preparation. Fortunately, I have help..." She glanced at Stick.

"It's a little easier once Stick paves the way," Teddy amplified in the face of several blank looks.

"This thing looks like trouble..." Darla Jean frowned.

"It's... messy," Mary admitted. "My Mom is up in arms, but Dad is okay with it. Teddy's mother is gonna flip -- but she would, anyway. Stick's family will probably take it even worse -- right now, we're telling then that Stick is pimping me to Teddy for things like car travel and movie money. Sooner or later, they'll figure it out, but I imagine they'll keep mum about it when they do." She eyed Darla Jean. "THAT'S why it was important to give Teddy a good alibi -- his mother hasn't twigged yet that Teddy isn't alone any more, and we're trying to put it off for a while. Otherwise, the long list of people who won't like what we're doing could ruin a good thing. We want 'em to get used to it -- my Dad to browbeat my Mom into dealing with it, and Stick's folks to figure it out and let it lie -- before Teddy's mother gets wind of things and stirs them all up."

"So you want things to stay as they are?" Darla Jean pressed.

"The law won't let me do what I WANT to do," Mary sighed. "I WANT to marry 'em BOTH! As it is, though, I'll probably marry one and the other one will move in with us on some pretext, and I'll have a half-dozen kids of various shades..."

Randall laughed. "Marry one of them, get pregnant so he establishes paternity, then divorce him and marry the other one. That way he has the excuse of child support and custody... You could swap back and forth a couple of times and tie everything in knots, legally..."

"Now THERE's a plan!" Mary exclaimed, laughing. "I might start with Teddy, then -- I thought it was gonna be Stick..."

Both boys looked dumbstruck. "Really?" Teddy blurted. "You want to get married?"

"You weren't listening?" Mary countered.

"You was gonna start with me?" Stick queried.

"Well, you're kinda the boss -- I figured that would hold things together better," Mary replied. "Randall's idea might be a better way of dealing with Teddy's mother, though." Mary's voice trailed off -- both boys were looking poleaxed. "Ummmm, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself..."

"Huh? Nah. Jus' took me by surprise, is all. I figured, what with your Mama, I'd probably end up on the short end." Stick replied. "I'm kinda... Wow! You'd marry me?" Stick sort of grew, visibly.

"Well, I guess there's a lot of stuff in the way, but things are pretty good, don't you think?" Mary replied, shifting her attention to Teddy and getting a bit distraught.

"Whoa, whoa!" Teddy was up like a shot, crossing the room to take one of Mary's hands while Stick took the other. "I think we were both surprised that you'd think we're worth it!" He flicked his eyes at Stick, who pressed a kiss on her lips while he rubbed her back. "I know I'd be honored..."

Stick drew back. "Shit, me, too! Didn't I get that across?"

"My boys..." Mary sighed. "C'mere, Teddy!" She dragged his head down and kissed him, too. "Hey, no groping in public!" The onlookers laughed.

"Okay, so, you fed me to the wolves to cover up your relationship..." Darla Jean rejoined.

"I'm a wolf?" Randall interjected, clearly unhappy with the connotations.

"Well, you're no sheep!" Darla Jean replied, but she was smiling gently. "Look, it wasn't nice, but I guess I forgive you. All of you. As for the thing with Ted and Dwayne, well, it is a separate issue, and while last weekend may have started the chain of events, it's not YOUR fault," she assured Randall.

"Okay." Randall looked relieved. "I guess we can move on, then." He started fiddling with the equipment, then looked up. "Um, no hard feelings?" Darla Jean shook her head. "Does that mean that maybe we could, um, date?"

Everyone stopped what they were doing. Mary grimaced; it was too soon. Darla Jean would probably cut him off at the ankles...

Instead, Darla Jean said, grinning, "I don't know -- can I use you for sex?"

"Uh, I was kinda looking at the girlfriend-boyfriend thing," Randall replied nervously.

"Well, that's a better offer," Darla Jean admitted. "And it kind of includes the other thing, doesn't it?" Randall shrugged and popped his eyes, embarrassed. "I'll think about it. In the meantime, you're welcome to... make overtures." She eyed him sidelong with a catty smile.

"Okay." 'I think,' Randall thought, frowning. What did 'make overtures' mean? "Why don't we start with the slideshow from last week?" he added, moving on.

Darla Jean moved up to the front, swaying, and took over as Randall relinquished things to her. A photo came up on the big screen TV and she began, "This is 61 Cygni..."

Randall settled himself next to Jimmy, and hissed, "What does make overtures mean?"

"Put the moves on her, Silly," Amy shot back. "Chase her, be nice to her -- stuff you would normally do if you were trying to catch her. Take what she gives you, but don't push too hard for sex, if you want it to last -- it'll come. Try to work on other things."

Randall nodded; that made sense. For the next fifteen minutes, he listened attentively to Darla Jean, in particular not waxing caustic when she suggested that the CCD used to capture the images might be off in its representation in certain frequencies. He was particularly happy at not having commented when Darla Jean surfaced comparative spectra from the Web in support of her thesis -- it wouldn't have looked good if he'd jumped her, then been proven wrong... That intro to the politics of getting and keeping a woman stood him in good stead; he remembered that Darla Jean was a solid mathematician and scientist in her own right, and the fact that she was female was sort of a bonus, when viewed in that light (not that such dispassionate consideration was easy, given his first-hand experience with her attributes as a female.)

By the time Darla Jean's dissertation was all over, Mary and Amy were showing definite signs of boredom. Since Teddy hadn't been to the meeting wherein the data was collected, he was the primary audience, so Mary and Stick were going to have to hang out. Danny and Stick had discovered some mutual interest and withdrawn to one of the beds against the back wall to sit and discuss whatever it was, with Thelma close by, but giving Danny his space. Mary occupied a swivel chair with Teddy seated on the arm, while Amy sat on the couch, holding hands with Jimmy, who occupied the other chair. Randall had Mary's end of the couch; when Darla Jean finished and Jimmy hopped up to switch to the satellite data, Amy made a point of moving to his chair -- which put Darla Jean on the couch. "Subtle, aren't they?" Randall observed wryly.

Darla Jean shrugged; it made life easier for both her and Randall. The past several days had made a couple of things clear to both of them: the set-up of the week before had left them at a disadvantage as far as the creation of a normal relationship went, and frankly, they'd have been better off with each other than any of the subjects of their subsequent experiments. But if Randall was willing after the debacle of mid-week and its effect on her reputation...

Randall picked up the thread, "That was pretty good for off the cuff; we're going to have to look at compensating for the CCD. What made you think it was off?"

Darla Jean shrugged. "Things seemed a bit too orange. It could have been the monitor, but the spectra said different."

"Nice catch." Randall reached out and patted Darla Jean's hand, then settled his hand on hers. Subtle, it wasn't, but... The pair at least pretended to turn their attention to the satellite data.

It seemed to Nate that they took twenty minutes settling the van into position at the drive-in. One row was too close; another didn't provide the proper angle no matter what they did. The fact that they were jockeying for the second and third row of seats rather than the first two had them stymied for the longest time. Finally, Nora sat in the middle seat and Tenisha and Draper sat in back, and EVERYBODY discussed position until the van was settled about 5 rows up from the back of the drive-in. When they were finally settled, Tenisha and Draper headed for the snack bar to pick up drinks and popcorn -- and to give Nora time to soothe Nate's ruffled feathers. "Damned van seemed like a good idea at the time," Nate grumbled.

"Shhhhh." Nora pulled him in close. "It'll be fine -- we just had to tune things." She laid her lips on Nate's neck and his mood rapidly improved. By the time Draper and Tenisha returned from their twenty-minute sojourn to the concession stand, Nora was giggling and wondering aloud where Nate had grown eight hands...

It was early yet, but Toby ands Erin's evening appeared to be nearing a close, despite the fact that neither of them was really seeing it happen. When the movie got out they hit the restrooms in the theater, both taking advantage of the vending machines to ensure that protection was available should things go further, but they hadn't quite made the leap that would bring them to that point. While Toby could (and no doubt would) brag that he'd had Erin's tit in his hand, he hadn't tried to own it, opting rather to put an innocent face on things by only copping a gentle feel that he could cover as accidental contact. Erin appreciated the thought, but she appreciated the contact more; when was Toby gonna stop fooling around and make a move? Reaching across the center console of Toby's car, she dropped a hand on his leg, "It's too early to go home -- why don't we go up to Scenic Drive?"

Scenic Drive? Toby blinked. Erin hadn't so much as squeezed his leg, (she was attempting to be coy) but if she wanted to go up there, undoubtedly things were going pretty well. "Sure!" This ought to mean that making out was in the cards -- which had to be an improvement over a goodnight kiss. Maybe he'd get a chance to really work over those titties?

Fifteen minutes later, they were parked. The site wasn't any secluded glade -- it was just a pull-off from a four-lane divided highway with a wide, gravel-covered shoulder area and a single trash can -- but there was a decent view down the valley. "Want to get out?" Toby offered.

Erin nodded, and got out. It was cooler up here; her thin, sleeveless blouse and culottes didn't defend her against the cool breeze. Toby caught her hugging herself and gathering his courage slipped in behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I didn't think it'd be cold," he muttered.

Erin snuggled back against him. "It isn't, now." She'd figured that they would do some petting in the car, kissing and trying to fondle across the gap in the seats, but this was better. Backing further into the spoon, she picked up the hard length that settled half into the vertical crack below her coccyx and extended half above it. Yeah, this was good; if it had been a little warmer, she might have given him access to her breasts, but she needed those warm hands at her bare midriff...

Toby wasn't complaining. The bold move (well, HE thought it bold!) had been accepted, and she'd backed into his hard-on and not thrown a fit. In fact, she hadn't gotten off it. It was seated against her ass like it belonged there...

"Toby, do you think I'm easy?"

'What?' Toby all but flinched. "I, uh, hadn't thought about it. Why? Have I done something?"

Erin shrugged. "I... tend to go with my feelings, and I've made mistakes, so I have a reputation. So I kinda want to know what you're after..."

"Oh." Toby thought about it. Erin had more or less foisted herself on him, but when she'd offered the night out, he'd jumped at it. Why, aside from the fact that she made his dick hard, wasn't clear. But she'd been fun, if kind of weird at times, and she had his attention; nothing about her turned him off -- just the opposite! Was he just trying to get into her pants? He was, that was certain -- but was that all? She seemed such an innocent -- yet she undoubtedly had more experience with sex than he did. Certainly, that made things easier, but...

"You okay?" Erin asked.

"Huh? Yeah. I'm looking for an honest answer to your question."

"I'm pretty uncomplicated," Erin replied. "What's so hard about it?" Actually, this tactic had worked pretty well, simple as it was. Most guys would have just basically lied about it -- told her what she wanted to hear and gone on trying to get into her panties. Only a smart guy would take a simple question and turn it upside down looking for complications. Basically, she already had her answer; if he was just trying to bed her, why examine his motives so closely?

"I just sorta realized that I didn't come into tonight with a plan -- it just happened," Toby replied. "If I said you weren't sexy to me, I'd be lying..." Hell, he'd have never followed her out of the Chess Club meeting if THAT had been the case.

"I think you're making it hard," Erin replied. "Maybe there's a simple test. If we don't have sex tonight, will you be asking me for another date?"

"Oh." Erin was right; Toby's gut gave him an answer instantly. "Yeah."

It might have been a lie, but it wasn't, and Erin knew it; the approach was too genuine. She turned in his arms, murmured, "See?" and kissed him.

She might as well have hit him with a baseball bat. Her pubic bone ground into the underside of his dick, the points of her nipples dented his chest through his shirt, and he had both hands on her ass -- but it was all background to the feel of her lips on his and the quick flick of her tongue. The temptation to capitalize on the opportunity was instinctive and irresistible; his tongue had chased hers back into her mouth and was pressing the attack before he even thought about it.

There ensued an undefined period during which time did things that neither of them noticed. Eventually, Erin broke the kiss, announcing in a bemused tone, "That was nice..."

"Yeah." Toby mentally kicked himself for the brilliance of his agreement, but he was a bit dazed.

"Ummm, I think that was an even better answer," Erin mused.

"Me, too," Toby replied, and initiated a second kiss. This one went on a bit, too, but eventually the pair basically came up for air.

"Okay," Erin panted, "I'm gonna stop worrying about it, now." Toby wasn't sure what that meant, but she waded in for kiss number three.

After that, counting seemed to be a waste of time. Both were primarily focused on kissing; Toby's hands wandered where they would, and no one -- not even Toby -- seemed to know where they were at any given moment. This went on until they surfaced to discover Toby had a big handful of Erin's left ass cheek UNDER her culottes and panties. "Oops!" Toby exclaimed, blushing.

" S'okay," Erin replied. "That's not so awful."

"It's not?"

"Well, it probably ought to be, but gee! I hate to tie you up worrying about it when I'm enjoying this so much. You're a great kisser!"

Toby barely stopped an incredulous, "I am?" before it left his lips, opting for "Yeah, right!" instead.

"No, really -- I could do this all night! Except it's cold..." She shivered.

"Let's get in the car, then." Toby opened the passenger door and settled Erin in, then circled around and diffidently settled into the driver's seat.
Erin wasted no time leaning over and offering her lips, and they were at it again, somewhat impeded by the gap between the bucket seats. The nagging issue tended to shorten their dips into oblivion, but didn't stop them -- and the change in orientation opened up opportunities that their previous clinch had denied them, a situation aptly demonstrated twenty minutes later when Toby surfaced to find his left hand cradling Erin's right breast UNDER her blouse and Erin's left stuffed between his legs squeezing his thigh. "Jeezus!"

"Leave it," Erin moaned. "I'm SOOO hot!"

Toby couldn't agree more. His cock was an iron bar at its maximum extension -- something just under six inches -- and his balls were reveling in the pressure from the heel of Erin's hand. The nipple he was mauling with his thumb and forefinger was almost as hard as his cock, if quite a bit smaller, the surrounding skin wrinkled tightly to his touch. Man, he wanted to see that thing... "Well, you said not tonight," he croaked.

"Uh uh," Erin gasped back, "I asked you if it would make a difference if I told you not tonight -- but I didn't TELL you not tonight..." She watched his expression as he absorbed her reply, then added, "I really don't wanna do it in a car, though..."

Toby's expression went from glee to crestfallen in no time flat. "Um, yeah, I can see that."

"Maybe you should take me home."

Toby sighed, nodded, and started the car. The one upside of the next fifteen minutes was the fact that Erin never removed her hand from his thigh, continuing to squeeze it periodically. "Can you take me back to the school?" didn't go over well, but "My car is there. You can follow me home, after..." painted over it. Still, he expected her to get her head back together on the solo ride from school to her house -- undoubtedly, despite the fact that he now knew where she lived, he could probably expect little more than a goodnight kiss...

But Erin carefully directed him to park his car behind hers on the double-wide driveway, and when he joined her on the porch, she said, "Mom's not home -- let's go sit on the couch for a while..."

Millicent Graham got home from her social club meeting reasonably early, to find Rob's Jeep in the drive. Given that it was Friday night, that was odd; she expected Rob to be out with either Claudette or one of his sexual conquests... Maybe he was ill? "Robbie is home?" she asked Thurmond as he took her coat.

"Yes, Ma'am," Thurmond replied.

"Is he all right? It's Friday, after all..." This was what happened when he split with Claudette! Now his social life was suffering! Well, so much the better; he'd take her back in a few days, and all would be well...

"He appeared to be fine to me, Ma'am," Thurmond replied. Was there a hesitation there?

"Where is he?"

"I believe he retired early."

"I'd best check on him." Millicent turned for the stairs, leaving the butler grimacing. Well, he'd done everything he could...

Millicent marched down the hall, knocked once, and threw open the door to Rob's room. "Robbie, are you..." The light streaming in the door was the only light in the room, but it revealed that Robbie wasn't alone, but rather sleeping in his bed, spooned behind a girl. The girl's eyes popped open, and she mouthed 'Oh, shit!' but nothing came out. "And just WHO are YOU?"

Rob popped awake, and realized that he'd come late to the party. "Mother! What are YOU doing here?"

"It's Friday, and you weren't out socializing, so I became concerned that you might be ill," Millicent replied. "Little did I suspect that you were involved in other pursuits..." Her voice dripped scorn.

"Well, if I HAD been out showing my face, it would have been with Mary, here," Rob replied. "But appearances aren't everything..."

"They're too important for you to be seen in public with some strumpet you're using to pad your bed!" Millicent grated.

Rob leaned up and turned on the bedside lamp. "Mother. Apologize. NOW!"

"Why should I?" The boy was just like his father, only he had less sense -- he could DESTROY his reputation if he spent his time with this... this... Good light caused Millicent's wrath to founder a bit. The girl before her had curly red hair framing a pretty, freckled face with a turned-up nose and green eyes...

"In the first place, Claudette's efforts to poison things notwithstanding," Rob announced frigidly, "Mary is a fine PUBLIC alternative to Claudette; the only reason Little Miss Snow Queen Pinkersley is attacking her is because she represents a real threat. And I consider the fact that Mary and I manage to have a private relationship as well as a public one a real plus..."

"Oh, really?" Millicent was obviously unconvinced. "Well we've met under poor circumstances, to be sure..." She smiled, a shark's expression. "Perhaps you'd care to dress, Dear, and we can discuss this over coffee?"

Rob's lips drifted over Mary's ear. "Stand up to her, or she'll gut you," he whispered.

Mary gathered herself. "That would be fine," she replied, apparently blandly. "Although I'm no doubt perfectly presentable for Rob," she continued, throwing off the sheet and sitting up to reveal her potently attractive body, "I don't expose myself in the nude to just anybody."

Millicent blinked. "Er, uh, yes. Well, that's good..." She got out of there. My God, the young woman just...

"Niiiice!" Rob approved. "Don't back down -- I won't. It won't hurt Mother to realize that you're infinitely superior to her."

"I am?" Mary replied, a bit shaky, then laughed. "Well, if I'd gotten up, I'd have spoiled it -- I have about a quart of your juice trying to dribble out..."

"You ARE superior to her," Rob argued. "Mother is a showpiece. Dad has his own version of Bang Nation chasing him all the time, and he spends very little time at home -- because Mother is all about looks. I'm beginning to wonder just how I came into the world..." He mused a moment. "YOU, on the other hand, care about ME, instead of whether our relationship makes you look good in public. Once she realizes that you can carry off the public part, she'll back off -- although I don't see her getting really happy about it. You see, she has a poor opinion of sex in general..." He grinned. "The best way to handle things might have been for you to just get up and wander around, blithely unconcerned about the cum running down your leg, while discussing the decor in my room or something. The fact that you can handle both ends would make her seriously envious."

"Sounds messy," Mary replied as she hopped up, cupping her mons.

"Nonetheless, I'd practice it, if I were you," Rob countered. "The bathroom is through there... I'll bring your stuff." Mary moved off, still cupping, and Rob insisted, "I'm serious. Besides I want to see it."

Mary eyed him quizzically for a moment, then turned and stood spraddle-legged, allowing a drip to wander down her left thigh while licking her fingers. "Like this?" she asked, eyes dancing.

"Um, that pose is only for me," Rob replied. "I like it, but for Mother you need to treat the mess as the most natural thing in the world..."

"Fine." Mary turned and swayed toward the bathroom. "I don't suppose I can shower?"

Rob sighed. "I don't think it would be smart to take that long."

Mary nodded and the door closed. Rob got out of bed, slid into his shorts, and began collecting Mary's things; fortunately, she'd dressed well for the upcoming confrontation in an outfit that provided a demure display of her charms. Mother would have jumped on a tube top or other casual display. Mary's short-sleeved round neck blouse and knee-length skirt supplemented by a brassiere sturdy enough to be visible set just the right tone; fortunately, the thong was well-hidden... Flat but dressy sandals rounded things out nicely, since Mary was barelegged. Had they NOT happened upon one another in Rob's bedroom, it would have been better, but... Rob tapped on the door and entered, to find Mary on the toilet, dabbing at herself with a washcloth. "Messy?"

Mary, who had bridled somewhat at the intrusion, muttered, "Well, you made it."

"You'll forgive me for being pleased with myself over it..." Rob grinned.

Mary smiled back with a component to her expression that he'd seen before in his mother -- an indulgence of childish male whims. Rob started laying out Mary's clothing on the available surfaces, draping her skirt over the top of the shower stall while she stepped into her thong. "Want some more advice?"

"Okay."

"This thing in the bedroom is irrelevant. She'll try to embarrass you with it, but if you pass it off and don't let her draw you out, she'll lose a weapon."

"Oh, that," Mary replied. "I'm not unpracticed at this sort of thing -- after all, I've been hanging out with Claudette for YEARS!"

Meanwhile, Millicent prepared for a little tea and counterfeit civility. Thurmond got a basilisk glare from her, but remained unperturbed; his loyalties were with the male contingent -- Rob and his father Donald. This wasn't the first time he'd run interference for one of them, and it wouldn't be the last. Thurmond's only regret was that he'd failed.

Ten minutes later, Rob and Mary appeared in the 'parlor', as Millicent styled it. As Mary entered, Millicent remarked, "My, my. I see that you can be quite presentable; Claudette left quite a different impression." Her eyes dismissed Rob, "This is girl talk, Robbie -- I'm sure you wouldn't be interested."

Rob looked inclined to argue, but Mary squeezed his hand and flashed him a quick grin. This would go well, or it wouldn't -- Rob couldn't help, either way. Rob sighed and let it go, but Mary was already concentrating on the foe. "Oh, Claudette!" she murmured gaily. "I hope that you weren't really expecting anything Claudette had to say to be accurate, were you?" She shook her head, affecting mild surprise at Millicent's naiveté, "Claudette will tell you whatever tale makes her look good this week. Her attempts to paper over reality with whatever her current fantasy dictates can be quite fatiguing."

"Don't the circumstances of our first meeting a few moments ago tend to lend her credence, Dear?" Millicent replied, pouring tea.

Mary's response was thoroughly blasé: "Certainly, having myself introduced to you during our first tryst in Rob's bedroom WAS somewhat unexpected, but well, it would have happened anyway. Besides, it's been two whole weeks since the Prom -- how long do you expect a girl to be able to defend herself against Rob's charms?"

"Claudette apparently did, Dear," Millicent smiled toothily.

"Hmmm, yes -- and therein lay the seeds of her downfall. Claudette may have been surprised on Prom night, but no one else was; Rob has been interviewing prospective replacements for months! Surely you knew that?" Mary eyed Millicent archly, and Millicent realized that this wasn't going to be a simple 'Run along, Dear, you're not good enough for Robbie,' conversation.

"Really?" Millicent replied, feigning mild interest while stirring milk into her tea. "Milk?" she offered.

Mary shook her head politely and went on, "Claudette, unfortunately, believes that appearance is more important than reality. While I would agree that appearances ARE important, I think that it is really best to have a foundation in reality backing them, don't you?" She plopped a sugar cube in her tea. "Claudette's blind spot in this area makes her somewhat one-dimensional -- an advertising poster, nothing more, I'm afraid. Rob has deeper needs, and he spent several months interviewing other girls willing to service them."

"I suppose that you mean that succession of trollops he's been bedding," Millicent replied, attempting to get things back on track.

"Yes," Mary agreed mildly. "Claudette was aware of them, and had ample opportunity to deal with the problem -- but instead of working on a cure, she treated the symptoms by abusing and intimidating the poor girls. I was in on a few of those sorties before I realized that they were a waste of time." She sipped from her cup.

"Oh?" Millicent raised her eyebrows.

Mary nodded. "You see, Rob was never going to select one of those girls as Claudette's replacement; they cheapened themselves by offering to handle Rob's physical needs up front in return for the favorable exposure. Rob didn't really understand why, but he was unable to entertain the idea of replacing Claudette with someone without the proper social credentials, no matter how well she dealt with his physical needs." She took another sip. "On the other hand, Claudette was publicly embarrassing him, since too many people had seen through the ruse of their relationship, and she refused to make things genuine by handling his equally important private requirements." She eyed Millicent. "I didn't STEAL Rob from Claudette by offering him sex -- or by any other means. Her shallowness caused him to lose patience and spurn her on his own before I ever appeared on the scene." She shrugged. "Basically, he offered her one last chance to be his woman in private as well as in public, and she declined."

"And where were you, all this time?" Millicent asked gently.

"Until that moment, I was on the sidelines," Mary replied. "After all, I WAS her friend..." She stirred her tea idly for a moment. "But I was his friend, too, and that is how he approached me in the aftermath. We had several discussions wherein he confided in me and I tried to salvage things for her before the light came on for both of us and we had anything resembling a date."

"Two weeks..." Millicent insisted.

"Oh, come now! This is ROB! Two HOURS is a long time, once he has you in his sights! Surely you know that!" Mary waved the whole thing off, rolling her eyes. "Besides, what kind of chance would I have of keeping him if I acted like a carbon copy of Claudette?"

Millicent smirked. "What makes you think you have him? And how are you going to keep him?"

Mary shrugged. "Ultimately, it's up to him -- it always has been. But if I succeed, it will because I meet ALL of his needs, not just part of them."

"So you're going to hang onto him by sleeping with him? I fail to see how this distinguishes you from trollops..." Millicent was becoming nasty, largely because she KNEW she was being insulted in Mary's responses -- even though she hadn't yet put her finger on how...

"You wouldn't," Rob said, making his presence known. "It's really very simple. Mary isn't just an eye-candy accessory to my social life, and she isn't just a lover -- she's both. And if that wasn't already more than anyone else has brought to the table, she's a friend, too."

Millicent shifted her scorn to her son, "And how is all that going to keep you from emulating your father?"

"Not having to do without in the presence of my significant other will no doubt play a big role in things," came the smug reply. "You knew Dad wasn't a monk when you married him -- but you treat him like one. I'm amazed that I'm here in the first place -- and even MORE amazed that I'm not visiting one of you on alternate weekends." He took Mary's hand and pulled her to her feet, "Get used to Mary, Mother -- she's going to be around a while. In the meantime, I see no reason to subject her to your insults -- even when she's winning!" With that, he tugged Mary out of his mother's flabbergasted presence.

Standing in the hallway outside, though, Rob was somewhat at a loss for the next step. Thurmond appeared, and inquired, "Should I bring the young lady's wrap, Sir -- or have the bed linens in your room freshened?"

"What?" Rob blinked. Mary's eyes swiveled to the batman, attempting to ascertain just what he meant by THAT remark.

Thurmond beamed at Mary. "Having won the engagement so brilliantly, it is my opinion that withdrawal would be a mistake. If I were the pair of you, I'd go back upstairs and celebrate -- loudly."

"Um, well, there is still the issue of Mary's parents," Rob hedged. But a quick call to Mary's sister Anita and she was 'covered' -- something that Rob proceeded to do to her again in the privacy of his room, to their mutual delight.