Chapter 15
Sex Ed at the Nellis Residence

Bobby dropped Dina off at home and drove away, looking pensive. Dina wanted him to start applying the heat first thing Monday morning - and he was still feeling around, trying to define boundaries for the performance. Dina was deliberately denying him definite answers, saying it was better if he did it on his own - it would sound more natural. In reality, she was applying the heat to Bobby - she wanted him to sweat over this thing. Thus, it was nearly 10:00 a.m. when Dina put in an appearance for breakfast - and from outside, not upstairs. "You're out and about rather early," Dina's mother, Marilyn, noted suspiciously. "Where have you been?"

This was when it belatedly occurred to Dina that her activities that morning might be suspicious. "Giannellis," she replied. "Denise called me this morning, wanting to see me about something she considered momentous - so I rushed over."

Dina's father, Robert Nellis, frowned over his Sunday paper at Dina. Denise's poor reputation was common knowledge even with the older generation. "I trust she's not pregnant or something," he rumbled.

"No, no - just girl talk, who's going with who..."

"That's 'whom', young lady!" her mother interjected.

"...uh, yeah. That's where Rick is, by the way. Seems that he and Denise's sister Mandi are getting serious!"

This revelation caused the two elder Nellis' to share a startled glance. Thus far, they had had no indication that 'Richard' had developed the requisite social skills to conduct casual dating, never mind a serious relationship. That things had suddenly progressed to the point that he would be visiting a young lady on a Sunday morning came as a distinct surprise.

Dina smiled, knowing that she had successfully redirected the heat of her parent's regard. Her only worry was that things would get too hot for Rick.

Marilyn ladled out Dina's waffle, then casually sidled out of the room to determine whether Rick had actually returned home last night. The minor disarray in his room (Rick never actually 'made' the bed, just casually pulled the blankets up toward the headboard - Marilyn, a neat freak, always made it later) reassured her that he had indeed occupied it overnight. Dina did NOT miss the visual high sign she gave Robert, however, and the stepped up nonverbal communication occurring between her parents caused her to be concerned over the ambush Rick was likely to walk into. Studiedly casual, Marilyn asked, "You don't know what Ricky went to see Mandi about, do you?"

"Some nature thing," Dina temporized, thinking 'Birds do it, bees do it...', "I'm sure he'll be home by noon..." This bit of fiction brought the parental eyebrows down somewhat, and Dina began to relax - but Marilyn wasn't done yet, "Dina, what do you think of Mandi - I don't remember you ever mentioning Denise having an older sister...?"

Deploying her finest cloak of false innocence, Dina gushed, "Oh, that's because she's so different from Denise. Mandi is painfully shy. She kind of fades into the background. But she's very intelligent. I think they make a great couple!" She accompanied this last with an owlish look at her mother.
"That's nice, Dear...." Her mother replied, abstractedly, as she assembled these new pieces of the puzzle. But her brow had unfurrowed somewhat, and Dina figured that the worst was over.

"It's all in the delivery," Dina murmured to herself, smiling, as she ascended the stairs to her room. A quick call to Denise warned Rick that the natives were restless.

On his return home, Rick was studiedly casual, but he was unable to mask a glow that could be described as post-coital or as a side effect of deep romance. Marilyn sniffed it, and while she no doubt considered that it was the latter, she went into conference with Robert, who eventually called a family meeting, with the intention of delivering an already overdue lecture on the birds and the bees to their children.

"Richard," Marilyn kicked off, "I understand that you have recently entered a relationship with a young woman, and your father and I thought that we should discuss the possible implications."

Dina, knowing that Rick's innate honesty would land him rapidly in serious trouble if he went unaided, attacked: "Mum, we've both had Sex Ed. Rick knows what he's doing". (This unfortunate statement almost proved their undoing, as Rick blushed) "Besides, (picking up Rick with her eye) are you sure you're still qualified? Rick, how long had it been since YOU'VE awakened to the sound of squeaky springs from the Master Suite?" This neutralized the blush nicely, while causing both her parents to retreat in confusion.

Rick, realizing that contributing to the rout was the only way he would survive the conversation, replied "Quite a while." He looked thoughtful, then surprised, "Several years, in fact." Robert Nellis suddenly developed a poker face. Marilyn began opening and closing her mouth like a fish.

Dina rounded on her father, "So, Pop - I'm smelling a more serious issue here than young love... Just how long has it been?"

Marilyn tried to short-circuit the exchange, "We're just fine - we've had sex quite recently, if it's any of your business..." At this point, the attempt crashed upon the rocks of a muffled snort of indignation and a mumble from her husband, who blinked in shock when he realized that he had actually made a sound and let the cat out of the bag.

Dina's brow went up. She looked sidelong at her blustering mother, then dead into her father's eyes, "What was that, Pop?"

Rick, who was beginning to enjoy this turn of events, announced, "He said 'Eight months', Sis!"

Both of the elder Nellis' blushed. Marilyn dug the hole deeper, coming out with "Dina, your father and I have gone beyond sex..." Robert's eyebrows nearly left his face, they climbed so high in surprise.

Dina regarded her mother with disgust, "One of you apparently has, and is dragging the other along on a very uncomfortable ride. Mum, it appears that before you can lecture us on sex, you need to learn a few things! One: Men do NOT willingly stop having sex! They're not built that way! Pop, how long has this been going on?"

Robert started to look stubborn, then got shamefaced, and mumbled "Several years."

Dina asked gently, "What did you do about it?"

Her father's voice was totally colorless in his embarrassment, "I tried to introduce new things..."

"Perversions!" erupted Marilyn.

"New positions, toys... She only knows one..."

"Good girls don't DO such things!" said Marilyn, indignantly.

Dina rounded on her mother, "Good girls do ANYTHING that makes them and their spouse happy, and doesn't hurt anyone! Who told you that crap?"

"Your Grandmother!" Marilyn returned hotly.

"Gram? Gram's smarter that that - I KNOW she is - we've discussed it!"

"Not possible," Marilyn announced icily, "She barely could bring herself to discuss it with ME!"

"Then she's learned a few things!" returned Dina, who then walked to the phone and hit the speed dial for the person in question. She looked significantly at the males, "Could you excuse us for a few moments - girl talk!" The men got out of there.

"Hello?" came a familiar voice from the speakerphone.

"Hi, Gram, it's Dina."

"Hi, Sweetie."

"We're on speaker. I've got Mum here, and I've discovered that she's not giving Pop any!"

"I guess I don't have to ask what! Marilyn, what in the Hell do you think you're doing?"

"Mom, it's the same old dull thing, every time! I can't work up any interest!" Marilyn complained.

"If it's the same old thing, Linnie, it's because you're not doing anything else!" came the reply.

"Gram, she told me that you told her there was only one proper way!" Dina announced.

"Oh," came from the phone "OH! Linnie, I'm SO sorry - I thought that you'd learned better on your own! Dina, I filled her head with that drivel when she was young because I didn't know any better! Your grandfather put up with that nonsense for 20 years - and I almost lost him to someone who had more sense! He finally put his foot down, and MADE me try a few things, then read a few books. Thank God we got it right and I managed to give him a few years of the good stuff! Linnie, you've got to look around and enter the real world! Do you masturbate, sweetheart?"

"Momma! Of course not!"

"There's no 'Of course' to it, daughter, one way or the other! I'm here to tell you, your foolishness will give Robert a roving eye, even if he IS a saint, and doesn't step out on you!" (Marilyn blushed.) "Daughter, tell me your marriage isn't endangered by this foolishness!"

"I don't know!" Marilyn wailed.

"Linnie, has your husband ever practiced cunnilingus on you?"

"Momma, Dina's right here!"

"Dina and I have discussed this," came the unperturbed reply, "and she is obviously better prepared sexually than YOU are! Answer the question!"

"He asked me a couple of times - ewwww!"

"I don't suppose you've fellated him?"

"Put that THING in my mouth? Not hardly!"

"Dina, this foolishness dates all the way back to Queen Victoria - who was such an otherwise admirable ruler that some fools thought she might be onto something with this stupidity. Ignorance and superstition are almost impossible to root out. I'm SO sorry you have to witness this failure of mine to be a proper parent to your poor mother. Pick up the receiver, child - I'm going to have to use your hands to fix this!"

Dina retrieved the receiver, shutting off the speaker, "I'm here, Gram."
"Sweetie, you're mother is going to be stubborn about this, so we're going to have to resort to dirty tricks. I can tell from her responses that she's interested in any number of these things, but she's bought into the idea that they're wrong - so she won't willingly participate in them. On the other hand, if she has no choice, she'll cooperate - as long as she can lay blame on someone else while she enjoys herself. What's more, she'll allow herself to be hoodwinked - it's all part of the deal."

"That's convoluted, Gram!"

"You didn't raise her, dear. Many times, I had to force Linnie to do something, only to find out she enjoyed it. It seems that she fears enjoying things too much..."

"Gram, how can you tell...?"

"...what she wants? Think about it Sweetie! When is the last time you saw your mother act absolutely childish?"

"Oh!"

"Exactly. Oh, and it wouldn't hurt if she were humiliated a bit, in the process..."

"I know about THAT one, Gram"

"I'd wondered if we'd skipped a generation... Still, its how your grandfather broke ME, bless his heart. Your father is a wonderful man who wouldn't hurt a fly - but it would be better for them both if he took a firm hand in the bedroom. Can you get the ball rolling?"

Dina produced an evil grin, "I think so, Gram."

"Good luck, Sweetie! Bye!"

"Bye. Gram!" Dina cradled the phone, and turned to her mother, "C'mon, Mum, Gram suggested a couple of things to help you relax!"