Brownie
Badge of Comforting Lonely Men
by Sterling These
instructions are available to troop leaders only. Read them aloud to a
select few Brownies you think might be suitable, but don't give them a
written copy!
"Comforting Lonely Men"
As
a young girl and a Brownie, you are a special and wonderful person.
Your whole life is in front of you, and your experiences in scouting
will make you into a better big girl and eventually the sort of woman
who will make the world a better place. But the truth is, you aren't as
strong or as smart or as knowledgeable as older people. In just about
everything, you're trying to catch up to the big kids. Now and then,
though, there are things that a Brownie can do better than anyone
older. One of those things is fitting into small spaces and going
through narrow openings. Sometimes a small hand is just what is needed
to reach into a tight space.
But there is another way you can be
special. There are lots of people in the world who are lonely, of all
different ages and situations in life. But there is one kind of man who
thinks girls in the Brownie age group are the most wonderful people of
all! They may like lots of other people, but just by being a girl of
your age you are very special to them. To every thing there is a
season, and for a few special Girl Scout Brownies, your calling in
earning this badge is to use this particular season of your life to be
kind to the men who like you best!
One reason it is hard for
these men to find happy time with girls your age is that some of them
are bad men who do bad things to girls. Parents are worried about this,
so they keep their girls away from lonely men, which makes the lonely
men sad, even those who would never do anything bad. Some people hate
these men so much that they never even let people know they are lonely
and how much they would love to spend time with girls your age. Think
how sad that must be!
However, with a generous spirit and with
proper preparation and precautions, you as a Girl Scout Brownie can
make a very big difference in the lives of these men.
1. Locating the lonely men
Your
first challenge is to find them, because they don't announce
themselves. But a girl your age can find them more easily than anyone
else.
Look around when you are at the schoolyard or playing in a
playground or anywhere else, really. If you see a man by himself,
looking at you or the other girls, he might be the right kind of lonely
man. Try approaching him and playing nearby. You can smile at him but
don't make it too obvious. But if he speaks to you, then talk to him.
What you are looking for is a man who really likes you. See if he keeps
your eye contact and whether his smile is genuine. Tell him anything
that's on your mind, like about your toys, or games you like to play,
or books you've read. A good sign that you've found one of these lonely
men is if he really listens carefully.
Often you won't have a
lot of time in this initial contact, and there are other people around.
When it's time to go, you tell him you have an assignment to get the
phone number of a grown-up, and would he maybe be kind enough to give
you his? This is the truth -- that is one step in earning this badge.
You should be prepared (that's our motto!), and have a piece of paper
and a pencil with you. Some men might refuse, but many others will give
you their number, especially if they are the right kind of lonely man.
Thank him and give him a big smile.
2. Arranging to meet the lonely men
The
next thing to do is call the lonely man some time when no one will
overhear you calling him. This Brownie Badge is special and secret! It
is not something you should tell anyone about except me. Part of being
a Girl Scout Brownie is knowing when to keep a secret! If you earn the
badge I will tell you the name of one other girl who earned it before
you.
First, make sure it's really him, then explain that getting
his number was only the first part of a social confidence exercise. Ask
if you can meet him some time. If he's agreeable, suggest getting
together during a scout meeting. If he is the sort of lonely man you
want, he will be free then. It's almost magic! Then you arrange for him
to pick you up not far from the place where the scout meeting is. You
need to plan ahead and make sure there is a private place he can take
you to. People get ornery and suspicious when they see a grown man and
a young girl together in public. His house would be a great place.
Usually these lonely men live alone, so he can give you a ride back to
his place. Then you can spend time together having fun without worrying
about other people watching. Just make sure he takes you back to the
scout meeting place before the meeting is over. That way your parents
won't worry about you.
3. Your meeting
Once you are alone
together in the lonely man's house, you can relax. You can tell him all
about anything you want and he'll listen. He might have presents for
you, or fun food to eat. It's usually a lot of fun to spend time with a
lonely man.
One thing lonely men often like is physical
affection. Some don't, and if that's the kind of lonely man he is, you
can respect that and you can still make him very happy just by your
company. To find out if he really doesn't want to touch or whether he's
just shy, you can give him a hug, or lean up against him or sit on his
lap. If he doesn't object, then he's a physical affection type. Don't
be surprised if he touches your hair or runs his hands all over your
body or gives you a back rub.
4. No bad touch!
There are
some things you should never do. You should never encourage the lonely
man to touch you between the legs or on your chest. If you kiss him on
the lips, it has to be no more than two seconds long. And you should
never touch him between the legs either. No, no, no!
5. Fun things
But
these are actually the kind of things most of these lonely men would
like to do if it wasn't against the rules. So while you can't do those
things, you can do other things sort of like those that aren't against
the rules.
If you accidentally let the man see up under your
skirt to your panties, he might like that a lot. You can also take your
clothes off bit by bit -- he'll probably like that a lot too. There's
nothing wrong with even being naked with a man if there's no bad
touching. When he first sees you naked between the legs, he's likely to
be very happy.
You can invite the man to take his clothes off too -- he'll probably like that.
A
word about a lonely man's body. You know boys are different from girls,
and a boy has a penis between his legs where you have a vagina. Men
have a penis too, but it's much bigger. Sometimes it's floppy and just
hangs down in front of him. Other times it gets long and stiff and
sticks straight out from his body or even up into the air. That's
natural. Penises sometimes do that. When a lonely man sees you,
especially if you're naked, his penis may get long and stiff. Sometimes
this happens when a man is thinking about doing one of those bad things
with you. But other times it just happens, and you can't tell for sure
which is which. So as long as there's no touching of private parts,
it's OK. Sometimes you can see a stiff penis when a man has his clothes
on as a lump in his pants. Or you may feel it when you're sitting on a
man's lap.
It's fun to take a bath or shower together. Just make
sure you don't touch his private places or ask him to touch yours. If
his penis is big, it's OK if it bumps against you a little now and
then, because it can be hard to avoid. But you shouldn't make a point
of touching.
Sometimes it's fun to watch a man pee, and often he'll like to watch you pee.
You
can also lie together naked on a couch or in his bed. You can hug and
snuggle. Just make sure you avoid touching private parts together.
Sometimes when you're snuggling and your eyes are closed and he thinks
you're asleep, you might hear him making rubbing noises in a rhythm or
breathing fast. Just keep pretending to be asleep. He's just having
some special private fun.
When you are naked with a lonely man
and he touches you everywhere (except your private parts), you can get
in touch with your sensual side. When you were little you liked
touching even more, and it's too bad girls do less of it when they get
to be your age. It's fun to have a man touching you everywhere. You can
tell he thinks you're special.
6. Bad things
To repeat, you never touch the man's private parts or tell him to touch yours. But sometimes lonely men will do bad things.
That
is always the lonely man's fault, because you're just a child and he's
responsible for making sure no bad things happen. Even if you're
snuggling together in bed or washing each other in the bath tub his job
as a good grown-up is to never let private part touching happen.
7. Be prepared
So what if a lonely man touches your private parts? What do you do?
The first rule is not to panic! A good Girl Scout Brownie never panics.
One
thing you can do is tell him to stop. He probably will, and if he only
did one little bad thing then you certainly don't need to tell anyone.
But
really the reason there is a rule about no touching private parts is
because it might make you feel bad. If you don't feel bad, then there
is no reason to tell the man to stop. He's being bad, but it's all his
fault, no matter what you do. To make a lonely man happy is a good
thing, and it's still a good thing even if he's doing something he
shouldn't.
Whatever the lonely man does, if it feels bad you can
say "ouch" or frown, and he'll stop. If it doesn't feel bad, then just
think about how you're doing something with the lonely man that makes
him feel happy. But sometimes what the man does feels good. You can
smile. Most men really like it when you feel good.
Men will sometimes kiss you for real, like grown-ups do. Most girls will realize that it feels pretty good.
One
of the most common things a lonely man will do is to touch you between
the legs. You might already know that if you touch yourself there in
the right way, it feels really good. It can feel even better when
someone else touches you there too.
He just may move his hand
rhythmically, or he might open up your slit and explore inside. Another
common thing a man will do is to kiss and lick you between the legs.
This might seem yucky at first, but it's not. Most girls find this
feels really good. You're likely to feel pleasure and warmth down
between your legs that's more than you've ever felt before. Sometimes
it might even feel really good all at once and break like a wave. This
is called an orgasm.
Another thing a lonely man may want to do
when he's being bad is some rhythmic motion with his penis. He might
rub it against you, back and forth, against just about any part of your
body. Or he might ask you to wrap your hand around his penis and move
up and down rhythmically. Sometimes what happens then is that the man
will have an orgasm too. He's likely to breathe fast and groan and when
he's done he'll be happy and satisfied. But the sure way to tell is
that ropes of sticky white stuff will shoot out the end of his penis
for a few seconds. This might seem gross at first, but it's harmless.
If he squirts it out onto your body, you can just clean it up later. If
you're rubbing his penis with your hand, it might get all over your
fingers but that's no harm either.
Another thing the lonely man
might do is ask you to take the tip of his stiff penis in your mouth.
This may seem gross, but it doesn't taste bad and you get used to it.
He'll want you to use a rhythmic motion of some kind. He might thrust
his hips to move his penis in and out of your mouth. If you swirl your
tongue around the tip that will make him feel good. Sometimes he'll
have an orgasm and you'll get all the sticky stuff in your mouth. It
may taste funny, but it's not harmful. It'll make the man happiest if
you can just swallow it.
Another thing a lonely man might want to do is to slide his stiff penis up into your anus, or poop hole.
You
may already know how babies are made, but just in case: a man slides
his hard penis into the vagina of a woman, the sticky white stuff
(sperm) shoots out inside her and it starts a baby up inside her. Most
men want to do that with grown women, and beforehand they like to get
all kissy and do sexy things with women. These lonely men who like you
so much also like doing the same thing, but want to do it with you
instead of a woman, even though you're way too young to have a baby.
What
the man most wants to do is stick his penis into a warm, wet opening,
then move back and forth until the sticky white stuff shoots out. The
place he'd most like to do it is your vagina, but he'll also like to do
it in your anus or your mouth.
But there's a problem. Your vagina is too small to take a big man's penis inside, and your anus needs some help too.
Remember,
a lonely man shouldn't do any of these things, but he might ask to. You
can tell him to stop. But when a man is doing a bad thing and you don't
mind, you can help him feel a little better if you let him. If it feels
good to you, that's an extra little bonus.
8. Homework
So,
the next part of being prepared is to do some work at home. You can
start this now before you do any of the other steps. Be prepared!
First, I will give you a little bottle of Astroglide lubricant (the
official lubricant of Girl Scout Brownies). That helps things go in and
out more smoothly. Get some on your little finger and slide it into
your vagina. Move it in and out in a slow rhythm, and when you're used
to one depth, then try pushing it in a little deeper. Over time, use
bigger fingers and more fingers day after day. It may hurt a little
when you put something bigger in but your vagina will gradually get
bigger. You should work up to the point where you can slide a big, fat
carrot several inches into your vagina without it being uncomfortable.
Do the same with your anus. There it's not a matter of stretching it
but learning to keep it relaxed. With your mouth it's a matter of
getting used to something big in your mouth or even down your throat.
Now,
of course, you may never use those abilities at all, but just like we
carry First Aid kids and rarely use them, it's important to be
prepared! To recap, one of the lonely men might do a bad thing. If you
don't mind then you'll be helping him feel good, and that's a good
thing. You can't be a bad girl for not complaining -- all the good and
bad is his responsibility because he's the grown-up.
9. Getting stuck up the vagina
You
remember how babies are made? Now remember we said how the man likes
moving his penis in and out of your vagina and it feels really good
when he shoots the sticky white stuff out. And remember how it can feel
really good when the man licks you between the legs? When a man slides
his penis into your vagina with some good lubrication, it will start
feeling very good in the same way. Some girls will even have an orgasm
from the in and out motion. These are all tricks that nature plays so
men and women will make more babies. Putting their bodies together like
that feels good to both. And though you're not old enough to have a
baby, your body still has the same feelings in place and you can feel
really good when the man thrusts his penis in and out of your vagina.
When the man shoots his sticky stuff out into your vagina (or your anus) that's just fine. It will eventually dribble out.
10. Learning naughty words
Another
way you can help lonely men feel better is to use dirty words. That can
make it more exciting for him -- and for you too.
Other words
for his penis are cock, meat, dick, prong, shaft, thing and a ton of
others. Other words for your vagina are pussy, cunt, snatch, hole, box,
baby tube, and a bunch of others. The official word for when he shoves
his penis in and out of your vagina is sexual intercourse, but others
are fucking, humping, screwing, mating, and copulating. The official
word for his sticky white stuff is semen or sperm, and other words are
jiz, cum, man juice, or baby batter. When he shoots it out it's called
ejaculation, but it's also called coming, shooting, spewing, blowing a
load, or emptying his balls. When you have an orgasm that's called
coming.
So you can put those words together, and if a man is
shoving his penis in and out of your vagina and you excitedly say,
"That's it, fuck your big cock up my cunt and cum deep in my pussy!"
that's likely to make him happy.
11. The big picture
In
earning this badge, you are taking advantage of your special time as a
girl of exactly the age you are right now. You are helping to serve
unhappy lonely men and give them a kind of happiness no one else can
give them. When you are old enough for the next stage of girl scouting,
you can earn the badge there too. You are also learning useful life
skills. Most girls learn these skills when they are a teenager, but you
are learning them a little earlier.
If you and a man are happy
doing things together, you can see him over and over -- often a Girl
Scout Brownie will keep seeing a nice man long after she has earned her
Brownie Badge. He'll often get you fun food to eat, buy you presents,
or take you to exciting places.
If a lonely man never does any of the forbidden things with private parts, you will be making him happy.
If
a lonely man does some bad things and you don't mind, you're a good and
kind Girl Scout Brownie. If you feel good, that's a bonus, but our
purpose in scouting is to serve others.
We Girl Scouts rely on
the generosity of others to fund our organization. For example, people
pay more for our cookies than they would in a store because the extra
money helps Girl Scouts.
You might mention to a man that the
troop always needs more money. You should gratefully accept whatever
cash he might give you (we don't take checks from men you serve while
earning this Brownie Badge). You must give at least 2/3 of any cash he
gives you to me for the Girl Scout Brownie troop. You can keep the rest
if you want, but you can't spend a lot of money or your parents will
get suspicious. I can help you set up a bank account so you'll have the
money for when you're older.
At the end of each session helping
a lonely man feel good, you should think about whether you'd like to
meet him again. If so, ask if he'd like to.
If it looks like
you're not going to meet again, it's fun to just say in a joking way
that he has done a lot of illegal things, and you could tell the police
about everything you've done together. Then mention that the Girl Scout
Brownie troop can always use more money. Of course, there is no
relationship between those two things at all! None whatsoever! But it's
often a way to get a generous gift for the troop.
To earn your
Brownie Badge, you should get a signed written statement from three
lonely men attesting to their satisfaction with the time you have spent
together, describing in detail what activities you've done. Or
alternatively, getting a total of $5,000 in contributions to our local
Girl Scout Brownie troop from lonely men who you have visited will
satisfy the requirement. Because it's a secret, there is no patch for
this badge. But you will know you have earned it, and that's what
counts most.