Sally
was seven months pregnant, and one morning she woke with a clear image
in her head of a cheerful, smiling one-year-old boy. She thought it
might just be a vivid dream or one more trick pregnancy played on her
mind, but when she compared notes with other women in the childbirth
class she found that most had had a similar experience in the past
week. Tara was only 29 so she had chosen not to have any amnio done,
but her vision was disturbing: she thought she could see that her
little girl had Down syndrome. To everyone's sorrow, when the baby girl
was born she found that her vision had been accurate.
Rachel was
only two months pregnant, and she had a vision of two little boys side
by side. When she had ultrasound later, it confirmed that she was
carrying twins.
It seemed to go right back to conception. Stacy
and her husband were trying to get pregnant, and one night after they
had had sex she got a vision of a smiling one-year-old girl. She later
found she had gotten pregnant that night.
As the phenomenon
spread throughout the world it caused both excitement and
consternation. Pro-lifers were ecstatic. As soon as a woman got
pregnant, she had a vision of what her child would be like around one
year of age. Far fewer women chose abortions when they had a vision of
the future of the life within. Some who had called the vision an
illusion and had gone ahead with the abortion saw the one-year-old look
at them with a quivering lip and a look of betrayal before fading from
view, something which naturally troubled them deeply. Those stories
made fewer women even think about abortion.
The timing was
interesting. Women who had formed the intention of having an abortion
saw their one-year-old periodically appear looking at them accusingly.
But if they changed their minds the image reverted to the happy
one-year-old they had seen originally. It was the intention that
mattered. It was when the woman reached the point of no return that the
haunting accusing look came to the baby before it disappeared.
Women
who miscarried knew before the doctors did -- the one-year-old faded
from view, though without any look of betrayal. The woman had had no
choice in the matter.
There were the expected consequences: some
people got more serious about contraception, more babies were put up
for adoption, and more mothers raised children they hadn't wanted, but
grew to love, and cared for as well as their circumstances allowed.
There
still were some abortions. A few women saw visions of handicapped or
deformed children, and many were willing to live with the accusing
look. The proportion of babies born with congenital abnormalities
dropped slightly.
This state of affairs lasted exactly one year. Then things got more
interesting.
Pauline
had gone to bed early. Dealing with a five-year-old and twin
two-year-olds all day can make a person tired. Frank came in around
midnight and slid into bed beside her. She came to consciousness
briefly and gave him a pat as she often did. Frank started relaxing,
though visions of the troubles at work kept coming back to him. Half
the company had already been laid off, and another round was coming.
Pauline stirred. She turned over towards Frank and snuggled up to him.
That was nice, he thought. She started running her top hand over his
hip and thigh. This was truly unusual, but he was pleased. Their sex
life had faded to almost nothing since the twins had been born. Blood
surged into his penis and it was soon hard. He turned to her and
started kissing her slowly and running his hands lightly over her,
preparing for the extended foreplay that was always a part of their
lovemaking. But after a much shorter time than usual she took her
panties off and whispered "I'm ready." This was truly unusual. He
turned over to look in the bedside table for a condom. "No," she said.
"No condom." "But what if you get pregnant?" They were both in firm
agreement that three children were plenty. She hesitated. "My period is
going to start any day, and I'm feeling a little reckless." He
considered the extra pleasure he got from sex without a condom, and how
long it had been, and the possibility that after a disagreement this
mood would pass and she wouldn't want sex at all. So with a surge of
excitement he turned over to her, removing his own briefs. She nudged
him on top of her and guided his penis inside. He started off slowly,
prepared as usual to hold back for her pleasure to build. But she
nuzzled his ear and whispered "Any time." This was not like her at all,
but he didn't want to argue. He sometimes fantasized about just giving
in to his instincts and coming quickly. He started thrusting in a
frenzy and came thirty seconds later. As he was coming down from his
splendid orgasm he started thinking of how to pleasure her. She pushed
him onto his back, smiled, and snuggled up against him, indicating she
was through. He was still smiling from his total satisfaction and the
love he felt for Pauline, who had arranged this whole thing from start
to finish urging him to fulfill a fantasy of his. She was asleep within
a minute. Caring for three young children all day can make a person
tired.
By morning the vision in her head was clearer. A son.
They would have a new son. The experience had been strange for her. As
Frank had come into bed, she had had a vision of a child, features
indistinct but definitely a small child, and then the child had faded
away with that look of betrayal people talked about when considering an
abortion. It hadn't occurred to her at the time that images of babies
only came after conception, and she was most definitely not pregnant.
She tried to go to sleep, but the child kept coming back with the
infinitely sad look of desolation. She thought about having sex with
Frank, and the baby relaxed. She thought about the condom and the baby
started getting fussy. She thought about sex without the condom and the
child smiled. She was exhausted, but started seducing Frank, who
responded as she hoped he would. She waited only until her vagina was
wet enough that it wouldn't hurt. When it came time for the condom, she
had said "No", told the lie about her period being due and held her
breath, as had the baby in her mind. When he relented the happy baby
breathed, and drifted in and out of her mind smiling as she set him
loose to have his orgasm. That was all that mattered tonight. He
pounded away, and she got a little sore but didn't say anything. After
he came her exhaustion came back and she fell asleep against him as
soon as she could, though the vision of a happy little baby came to her
as she drifted off. His sperm was doing its work inside her.
Quinn
was in 10th grade, an evangelical Christian, and had taken the pledge
to remain chaste until she was married. It was the right way to do
things. But she could go on dates, and on this occasion she was out for
ice cream with Luke. She got a little flickering of a baby image but it
went away. When they were done Luke drove her home. He was in 11th
grade and had just gotten his license. The image flickered again. As
they got close to her house and she thought about going inside the tiny
child appeared long enough to look wistful and start to disappear. A
sense of sadness overtook her too. "Let's go watch the stars up on the
ridge" she said. He hadn't really thought she would agree to go out
with him at all, but he sure did enjoy her company, and if she wanted
to extend the date that was great with him. A friend started texting
her on the way up, and she gave a quick reply and shut her phone off,
and told him he had to as well.
The ridge had a nice view of the
sky but was not all that popular. She had him pull in a little short of
the highest point on a seldom-used dirt lane. They got out of the car
and looked at the stars. She stood close beside him and took his hand.
Then she said "It makes me feel so close to the universe, to God." And
she turned to face him and hugged him close, her head against his
chest. He returned the hug, surprised but happy. After a little she
looked up at him dreamily and closed her eyes. He wasn't experienced
with girls, but even he knew this was an invitation to kiss her, so he
did, a little awkwardly but by imitating her it was soon gentle enough.
His penis was straining to get erect but was pinned downward in his
pants. Jesus would not be pleased about the erection. He broke the kiss
and pulled away from her, confused. She had a right to feel disoriented
by the sudden withdrawal from intimacy, but she felt something more as
well. She stood waiting, confused as to why she felt sad. He turned
away, trying to collect his thoughts but also surreptitiously adjusting
himself so his penis could stand upright in his pants. Sexual arousal
wasn't such a bad thing, a minor sin. And then he turned back, took her
back in his arms again and kissed her more. After a minute she did
something shocking. She slowly moved his hand up so it rested on her
sweater over one breast. He broke the kiss to smile at her, then
started again, thrilled to be moving his hand over the one breast, then
the other. He couldn't stop thinking about what was under her skirt. He
moved his hand tentatively to her butt, and she didn't stop him. In
fact, she pressed her pelvis against him. After a few minutes of his
massaging her butt he started sliding his hand up under her dress. She
tugged him towards the car and opened one of the rear doors. She sat
down, with her legs out on the ground, and began fussing with the fly
on his jeans. Amazed, he helped her, and soon his penis was sticking
out, straight, hard, urgent. Maybe she would give him oral sex,
something he had heard of -- but was sinful. She ran her hands lightly
over it, but instead of oral sex she astounded him by hitching her
skirt up and pulling her panties down to her knees. His innards knew
exactly what they wanted. Jesus was getting drowned out. "But... what
about the pledge?" he asked. She looked confused for a moment. The
baby's face wasn't clear, but the essence of the baby was, and the look
of fear and pain on its face pierced her heart. "I just have to have
you," she said. He looked around the secluded spot. Arguing that
someone might surprise them was not going to ring true. Jesus had a
surge of strength. "I'd love to, Quinn, you are so hot, but... the
pledge! And what if you get pregnant?" People who took the pledge never
bought condoms, since they could only aid temptation. He turned away.
Then she started crying softly, legs still apart, panties down, crotch
exposed expectantly. He was so torn. Then she said, in a whisper he
could barely hear, "Jesus forgives our sins". Inwardly, she saw the
baby and felt that Jesus wanted her to do this, but she didn't dare say
that aloud. His heart raced. Refusing would be so humiliating to her,
obviously. His penis was near bursting.
And then he was lost. He
aligned his body with hers and lowered himself down on her, and she
smiled brightly through the tears. She guided his penis to that magical
opening between her legs, and he pressed. For someone who had not
masturbated in a year, who was a virgin, and was seeing a pretty girl
open wide to him and begging him to come in, it was all too much. He
barely got his penis halfway into her hot wetness -- he hadn't realized
it would feel so good and so right -- before he started coming,
spurting, overwhelming pleasure tinged with guilt. The image flashed in
her mind. Panting hard, Luke spluttered, "Oh God, Quinn, I'm so sorry"
as he pulled out. Quinn reassured him. "It's OK, Luke." "But ... you
didn't even get to feel anything..." "It's OK; it's what I wanted."
Quinn started to get up. Luke stuffed his penis back in his pants.
Quinn considered that she found Luke kind of boring, and after a
moment, she realized she was already half an hour late for curfew. The
conversation as they drove back to her house was sparse and strained.
The next morning as she slowly woke the image was clear as it had never
been before. A girl. An adorable little girl.
Jessica
was distracted by the image of the baby that kept floating in and out
of her mind. Andrew was being a good lover, and ordinarily she would
have come by now, but the image was too distracting. Finally she faked
a little orgasm. Sensing she had come, Andrew plunged deep and fast.
She felt his penis expand that extra little bit and then felt him let
loose with his own entirely real orgasm. After a minute of afterglow he
grasped the base of the condom firmly as he pulled out. The baby's lip
was quivering, the eyes so trusting, but sad and accusing, and it
pierced her heart. What could she do? The baby had been happy when she
had contemplating doing it without the condom, but Andrew had insisted.
Now she had an idea that eased her grief. She reached over lovingly to
ease the condom off of Andrew's penis. Something new for them, he
thought tenderly. He wasn't watching as she quietly took the condom,
spread her labia wide with her other hand, and shoved it up inside
herself inside out. The joy on the baby's face was intense, innocent.
Then she realized there were two. She couldn't make out the faces, but
there were two of them.
Merry
never went into bars, but as she passed this one she saw something very
indistinct, but it included a very sad mouth. She kept walking, the
mouth was on a child's head, wailing. The pangs stabbed at her heart.
Maybe she'd have some ginger ale. He was drunk, and hadn't bathed
lately. He tried clumsily to do a decent job of foreplay, which was
nice of him, but that end of things wasn't going to work for her. She
got him to come fairly quickly once he was in her, then tried to figure
out how to get him out of her apartment. That was stressful, but the
baby was smiling, and she felt calm.
Susan
wasn't sure why she was out this late at night, or why she was taking
this less-traveled route. She heard the man following her. She was a
fast runner, so she could have gotten away, but she didn't. The image
of a terribly sad baby stopped her.
Joanie
looked at the birth control pills she had bought, and popped the first
one out of its bubble. But as she contemplated putting it into her
mouth, not one, but a vague crowd of babies fussed and cried. She threw
the pills away.
After
some discussion, Fred went to get his vasectomy. They had discussed it,
and Nancy had not been in favor, for reasons she didn't quite
understand. She liked the idea of her man being whole, complete,
potent. But life returned to normal, and it was very nice not to have
to worry about the diaphragm. But four months later she saw the
neighbor's teen son mowing the lawn. She tried turning away from the
window but felt a sharp pang of sadness. She went out to ask if he
could possibly help her move a big piece of furniture up in the
bedroom. Her husband's back was bothering her, she said.
Caitlin
was in sixth grade. She was late leaving school that night, and as she
passed the custodian the image came to her faintly. But as she walked
past she heard in her mind a piercing scream. Turning around to the
custodian was what made it stop. She felt very shy and awkward in front
of him, but the grief that started to come over her when she tried to
turn away was worse. What now? She stood facing him. "Yes?" he said.
She saw a leer on his face that he was trying to suppress. She
stammered. What could she say? "Do you have any ... toilet paper?" He
looked perplexed for a moment, then smiled, and said "Come with me,"
and led her down to the supply closet and shut the door behind them. He
pulled her towards him and groped the front of her dress. She was
scared, but she didn't pull away -- she moved a little to help him pull
her panties down when they got stuck. It was huge, and it hurt like
hell, but it didn't last long -- and the grief lifted, happy cooing and
babbling replacing the latent scream.
Ob/gyn
doctors were inundated with new patients. The birthrate was going to be
astronomical. At the same time, mental health clinics were overwhelmed
with women feeling haunted by lingering images of babies disappearing
with an accusing look of betrayal, images that left them depressed.
All
the evidence suggested that the baby visions occurred when the woman or
girl could through her own actions either conceive or not conceive a
baby. So the visions never occurred unless she was in her fertile
phase, and sometimes not then, for instance if the egg that had ripened
was defective. There was initially a mystery as to how a girl could
pass handsome teachers or handsome boys but only have the baby vision
occur with a nerdy or totally average boy or a sketchy guy. The reason
was that if the girl could not convince the handsome man or boy to have
sex with her, follow through to orgasm and inject her with good sperm,
then there was no baby at risk. With most teachers, most married men,
and many just plain decent men, the prime reason was that they would
not have sex no matter how much the girl might plead or even alluringly
display her private parts for the taking. They also might have had
vasectomies, might have performance problems, or might just not be
producers of fertile sperm. The ones that caused the visions, well,
they could evidently be convinced.
Amid all the visions of
babies, the pregnancies, and the depression women and girls drew
conclusions. They couldn't tell what married men had been unfaithful,
but they could tell which ones would be if presented with a luscious
enough opportunity. If different girls had visions of babies when
passing the office of the Principal, it meant that he could be
convinced to have sex. In the other direction, women could notice that
a suave man who was always putting moves on women wouldn't inspire any
baby visions, and wonder what he was missing. Boys in school who leered
at girls and propositioned them openly sometimes apparently didn't have
what it took to follow through, because the propositions did not make
any babies flicker into existence.
All kinds of ideas were
tried. Girls were kept home from school and locked up when their
fertile days were anywhere close, a draconian measure that seriously
strained family relationships. Men locked up their wives. Women shared
their monthly cycles and made pacts to lock each other up as the time
got near -- though even making such an arrangement caused the dimmest
crowd of baby essence to be sad. Norplant worked when women consented
to have it implanted. But many broke the appointment or ran out just
before it was going in, as they saw a vague collection of babydom with
sadness and betrayal emanating from them.
Men were educated on
the dire consequences of accepting an unexpected proposition from a
girl or woman, and that reduced the number of baby visions that girls
and women got, but it only took one willing man to cross their path in
a day to engender visions of sad babies.
The
world was coping with a baby boom the likes of which had never been
seen in modern times. Extrapolating from the data available after ten
months, scientists estimated that 35% of all girls and women in their
childbearing years would have gotten pregnant before the year was up.
The disruption as that giant cohort moved from the delivery room all
the way through college and beyond was going to be enormous.
It
all stopped suddenly exactly two years after it began. For a little
while some girls and women still had visions of babies because they
expected to. The pregnancy rate plummeted, though there was a mild eddy
in the current. Women had come to count on the baby visions as a form
of contraception: no baby vision, no protection required, and that was
no longer valid. The baby boom year was followed by bust years. Many
women simply did not want to bring a baby into a world that was so
topsy-turvy. The women who gave birth generally didn't want another
baby any time soon -- they rarely do. And young wives who had not
gotten pregnant had mostly suffered through those looks of betrayal and
anguish on the faces of the babies in their minds. Everyone knows that
real babies do look anguished at times too, though usually with no
long-lasting consequences. Separating the life-and-death anguish in the
visions from the inevitable anguish of childhood took some time. Yes,
your baby will get that look now and then, but it will be OK.
After a decade all returned to how it had been before, with a few
subtle lasting changes.
What
if the baby visions returned? Psychologists, philosophers,
pharmacologists and religious leaders all considered the problem. But
no matter how the matter was contemplated or framed, a more hard-nosed
attitude towards these potential babies was going to be necessary.
Women
who got pregnant imagined the life within, as pregnant women always
have. They remembered how in the years of baby visions actual images
had blessed or haunted them. They also remembered the visions of the
potential babies which had haunted them far more often than bringing
joy. And they were thoughtful as they contemplated the differences.