CopyrightŠ 2007 by Quantum Mechanic

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Chapter 4.

Carl woke at six AM, to the smell of frying bacon. Amanda was still sleeping, so he rolled out of bed gently, so as not to awake her, and quietly dressed in shorts and a polo shirt. Moving into the salon, he saw Terry cooking in the galley.

"Good Morning," she said brightly. "Want some breakfast?"

"Shhh..." he said, holding a finger to his lips. "We have a guest, and she's still asleep."

"Who?" she demanded, crossly. "If it isn't Amanda, I'm gonna be pissed!"

"Yes, it's Amanda," he replied. "She decided to surprise me, and was waiting at the marina. If you hadn't been in such an all-fired hurry to leave as soon as we touched the dock, you'd have met her yesterday."

"Oh goody!," she responded, "I hope she doesn't sleep too long... I've really been looking forward to meeting her."

"Okay, in the meantime, how about some bacon and eggs?"

Terry quickly met his request. Dishing up her own breakfast, she joined him at the table in the salon, and they ate in comfortable silence. When they were finished, Carl took clean-up duty (after all, Terry had cooked!) while she went on deck to do last-minute preparations for departure. By the time Carl entered the cockpit area, she had Pixel ready to cast off.

"I assume that Amanda going south with us..." Terry ventured.

"Yes, she told me so last night," he replied.

"Great! We used almost no fuel coming down the Bay, so we don't need to fill up," she observed. "All you have to do now is settle with the marina, and we can go."

"Not even that," he answered. "Amanda had it taken care of before we ever hit dock yesterday."

"My! That was nice of her!" Terry exclaimed.

"Yeah," he observed, "she's just full of surprises..."

"Which way will we be going?" she asked. The Intracoastal Waterway offers two distinct routes, going south from Norfolk.

Originally, being in a hurry to get down south, I had intended to take the Coinjock route," he replied, "but I'm pretty sure that Amanda has never seen anything like the Dismal Swamp, and I don't know if I'll ever have another chance to show it to her. She's pretty new to sailing, and so far, she isn't terribly impressed with the cruising lifestyle. Maybe some really pretty scenery would help win her over."

"On the other hand," Terry offered, "if she's as much a city girl as you describe, she might be put off by that much wilderness."

"Either way, it's a gamble," he agreed. "Let's take a chance on the Swamp, though. If she and I should be together, she'll love it there as much as I do. Besides, there's precious little to recommend the Coinjock route except convenience and a little time savings. I guess we might as well get this show on the road...You take the wheel for a minute," he continued, as he picked up a VHF handheld and moved forward.

"Okay," she affirmed. As he finished casting off, she shifted into reverse and took Pixel out of the slip.

From his position in the starboard bow, Carl called the marina office. Alvin acknowledged that Pixel was vacating the marina, and wished them farewell. Returning to the helm he told Terry to go off watch. "We'll be doing four-hour watches for this leg," he said.

---

Amanda awoke with a start. The sun was high, and she was almost blinded by the light streaming in through the portlight. She heard the purr of smooth-running engines operating at low speed, and felt a slight sense of rocking as Pixel powered forward along their route. What route might that be, she wondered. And what have I gotten myself into?

She found one of Carl's clean t-shirts, and drew it on before leaving the stateroom. Moving through the salon, and into the galley, she found a package of bagels and extracted one for herself. In her quest for some cream cheese to dress her bagel, she opened the galley cooler. She found the leftover bacon, but no cream cheese.

Bagel in one hand and a strip of bacon in the other, she wandered out into the cockpit. She found Carl at the wheel, and joined him for a snuggle and a kiss.

"Do you always do the driving?" she asked, while wolfing down her breakfast.

"No," he replied, "If you'd gotten up early enough, you might have found Terry at the wheel for a few minutes."

She kissed him again, and resumed wandering, this time forward to the starboard bow. Rounding the corner of the cabin, what she saw on the starboard foredeck froze her in her tracks, then sent her scampering back to the cockpit.

"Carl, why is there a naked blonde sunning herself on the foredeck?" she demanded angrily.

"Oh," he said absently, "I guess you've met Terry. She's off-watch, and really should be below getting some rest."

"I don't think..." she began hotly, but Terry, who in the meantime had managed to get back into her clothes, caught up and interrupted.

"Hi!" she said, cringing. "I've been looking forward so much to meeting you!"

Amanda glared at Terry over her shoulder before turning back to Carl. "Why didn't you tell me your old friend from Annapolis was a girl?" she demanded.

Carl looked at her quizzically, and replied simply, "It didn't occur to me that it would be important to you."

That caused both women to stare at him in open-mouthed amazement.

"Not important?" shrieked Amanda.

"You didn't tell her?" wailed Terry.

The next several minutes were filled with a great deal of unpleasantness, brought to a close only when Carl looked at his watch and shouted" QUIET!"

The women were so shocked at his rough tone, that both fell momentarily silent. Carl looked from one to the other, then spoke to them in a more normal tone.

Looking at Terry, he said, "My watch is up. Your turn at the wheel."

Turning to Amanda, he went on, "I'm not sure what you're thinking, but if you are unhappy to be here, I'll do my best to put you on a plane bound for home at the first opportunity. In the meantime, I'm off watch and I'm tired. I'm going to bed. " He then gave the helm to Terry and went below.

The two women stared at his back until he disappeared below, then turned their eyes toward each other. After a few minutes of Amanda staring daggers at her, Terry's own gaze hardened.

"It's not what you think," she said.

"Oh?" Amanda retorted, "So what am I thinking? And what is it really?"

"Well, you probably think he's sleeping with me, and that he's trying to set up a threesome, if I read you right," she paused, as Amanda nodded. "That's not it at all, though... and he really is clueless enough, to... not consider it important that I'm a girl."

Amanda looked at her in disbelief. "You can't be serious!"

"Oh yes!" she affirmed. "What did he tell you about me?"

"Initially, he only mentioned that he'd run into you, and that you would be crewing for him. Then, in a later conversation, he told me that you had been friends, growing up together in Annapolis. That was pretty much it."

"Well, there is a little more to it than that," Terry replied. Seeing Amanda's consternation, she hurriedly added, "but listen to me before you leap to conclusions. Carl and I are close, yes, sibling close..." She went on to describe her early relationship with Carl in detail, up to the point when she graduated from high school and left home. Sensing that it wouldn't be productive to mention the subsequent occasional moments of carnal recreation, she glossed over their intervening contacts, and skipped to the story of Carl finding and rescuing her in New Jersey. She also, diplomatically, left out any mention of the sexless cuddling they shared that night.

Amanda sat quietly for a moment, looking down at her hands, after Terry finished speaking, then looked up with a puzzled expression on her face. "But how could he overlook the fact that you were a girl, every time we talked?"

"Probably because when he talked to you about me, in his mind he was talking about a friend, not a girl," Terry offered. Seeing that Amanda still appeared to be dubious, she went on. "Think about it. I have an androgynous name. Did he actually try to conceal my gender? Did he ever imply that I wasn't female, in a conversation? Did he ever seem to be avoiding discussions where the fact of my gender might come out? Did you ever ask whether I was male or female?"

"No, he didn't do any of those things." Amanda admitted. "and I didn't ask. I guess I really wasn't that interested in talking to him about you. If I had been, I suppose it might have come out."

"I can guarantee you that it would have," Terry affirmed. "Carl doesn't equivocate. I'm sure that he only now realizes that it was important."

"So you two have never..." Amanda couldn't bring herself to finish the question.

"I didn't say that," Terry answered sharply, and Amanda's face fell again. "Anything that might have happened between us before he met you isn't any of your business," she continued, "but I can tell you that we haven't had sex on this trip!"

"Why not? There's been plenty of opportunity..."

"You really don't know him very well, do you? And you obviously don't know much about covering distances aboard a boat. Where is Carl right now?"

"Uh, below sleeping?"

"And when my watch is up, and I go below, where will he be?"

"Up here, at the wheel, I guess..."

"So when does this so-called ample opportunity happen?"

"Oh..."

"Right. It doesn't, at least while we are underway, and every time we've stopped, I've gone somewhere else until we sailed..."

"Okay, okay, so there hasn't been a chance..."

"I didn't say that either..."

"Quit playing games with me, damn it!" Amanda shouted, "Did you have sex with him or not!"

"The correct answer would be.. NOT!" Terry replied calmly. "That first night after he rescued me from New Jersey, I was willing, but he refused. Do you know why?"

"No. Why?" Amanda pouted.

"Because he was already infatuated with you. He would have had to tell you if he had sex with me, and he didn't want to do anything that might scare you away."

"And why would he have had to tell me?"

"Because, as I said before, Carl doesn't lie to people. In his heart, he was already committed to you, and if he concealed a sexual liaison with me, in his mind it would have been the same thing."

"I see..."

"Well if you do, you'd better make up your mind pretty quickly what you want."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that, a little while ago, he went to bed alone. Before he did, all hell broke loose, so he'll most likely already concluded that the relationship he was trying to build with you has no chance. When he wakes up alone, no amount of talk will convince him that you're okay with things at that point. As soon as he can, he'll put that tight ass of yours on a plane back to Boston!"

"He wouldn't!"

"Oh yes he would, girlie! And I'll tell you something else... he's a good guy. If you throw him away it'll break his heart, but eventually he'll make some other girl happy. It won't be me, at least in the long run, but after you're gone, you can be damned sure that I'll do my best to distract him from his sorrow for as long has he needs it. Is that what you want to happen?"

"No, but what can I do?"

"I think you know. If you really want him, you know."

Amanda tried to think. What if Barry is right? How could Carl go through so many women and not be a liar and a cheat? It was difficult, nearly impossible, to think rationally amid her conflicting emotions, suspicions, and desires. In the end, she simply made a decision, and once she did, it was easy to rationalize. We haven't even talked about exclusivity, much less agreed on it. Even if Terry is lying, I can't honestly claim that he cheated on me.

The risk she was contemplating was daunting, but after a little shudder and a sigh, without speaking so much as another word, she turned away from Terry and went below. She paused at the door of the master's stateroom and gazed at Carl's supine form. He was already asleep. Damn his eyes! He could at least be tossing and turning!

She looked down at the T-shirt she was wearing. Deciding that it would do fine as sleepwear, she climbed into the bunk and curled up behind her lover. The emotional confrontation and everything that followed had taken a toll, and without much trouble at all, she fell asleep.

---

Carl awoke to find himself in a situation that was familiar, but nonetheless disconcerting, in light of recent events. Even with his eyes still closed he could tell that he was spooned behind a curvy feminine form. One of his arms held her around the waist, and her head rested on the other, near his shoulder. The hand on that one cupped a firm, just-right-sized breast.

He opened his eyes and smiled down at Amanda's dreaming face. He nuzzled her neck and pulled at her earlobes with his lips. She wriggled and tried to burrow deeper into the bedclothes, probably to escape his prickly stubble. I guess I do need a shave.

He tried to extricate himself without waking her, but she awoke anyway.

"Hello beautiful," he said, as she opened her eyes. She gave him a huge, sleepy smile, so he asked, "Are we going to be okay?"

A cloud passed over her face as she remembered the earlier unhappiness, but it was quickly gone, and she said, "Yes, we're going to be fine. Why don't you come back to bed?"

"My watch," he said, waving at the clock. "Terry needs to get some rest, especially since she didn't sleep when she was last off-watch."

"I feel guilty," she grumped. "It's like you guys both have to work a job, while I'm on vacation."

"You are on vacation," he told her. "There's nothing wrong with that. If you were an experienced sailor, and knew the route we're taking, I'd expect you to take a watch. You're not, and I don't. If you want, you can use this trip to become one, though."

"How?"

"No mystery. You just pitch in where you can, and Terry and I will tell you what to do and how to do it."

"When?"

"Starting right now, if you want," he chuckled. "You should probably work some with each of us. You can work through this watch with me, and the next one with Terry."

"Work? I thought this was supposed to be a vacation!"

"Don't worry, you'll have fun. I promise. Of course, you don't have to, but if you want to learn, this is the way to do it..."

Amanda sighed heavily, then grumbled, "Okay," and began to struggle out of bed. Carl watched her for a few seconds, then made his way topside.

At the helm, Terry looked exhausted. He met her bleary gaze and asked, "Are we on schedule?" She nodded, and he told her, "Go on below. We have a slight change in plan." Her puzzled look prompted him to continue, "We're going to stop for awhile at mile 28."

She nodded and wearily gave up the wheel. Carl patted her back and pointed her to the main hatch. She had to stop, though, because just as she arrived there, Amanda was just coming out.

Before Terry could give way, Amanda grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her cheek. "Thank you," she whispered, releasing her. Terry just waved and continued her journey to her bunk.

Looking at Carl, Amanda said, "She looks wasted!"

"Four straight hours at the wheel can do that," he answered. "C'mon over here and I'll show you a few things."

For the next several hours, he taught her the names of Pixel's components, and nautical terms she would need to understand as a crew member. He also acted as a tour guide, pointing out the large variety of plant and animal life that could be observed in the Great Dismal Swamp.

"Why do they call it dismal?" she asked. "It doesn't look all that dismal to me. At least right now, the sun is shining and the air is clear."

"I don't know, and so far, I haven't met anyone who does," he answered. "I can tell you though, that it's been called that since at least 1665, when William Drummond, who later became the governor of North Carolina, discovered its central lake. The lake is named after him."

As they neared the end of his watch, Carl told Amanda that Pixel would be docking at the North Carolina Welcome Station. "I'll need your help with the lines when we do," he informed her. She smiled and nodded her assent.

Not long after, they found themselves approaching the bulkhead, or sea wall, which defined the eastern bank of the canal, at the Welcome Station. There were already a few boats tied up there, so Carl gingerly maneuvered Pixel into an empty space along the bulkhead, and held her there while Amanda tied her off. Carl checked her work and issued compliments and criticism as appropriate.

By the time Pixel had been made secure, evening was approaching, and none of her crew had eaten a real meal since breakfast, so Carl decided to grill some nice porterhouse steaks he'd been saving for a special occasion.

---

If there were no other benefit in being aboard Pixel, at least the crew ate well. After rousting Terry, Amanda conscripted one of Carl's precious bags of "Spring Mix," which, when treated liberally with creamy Italian dressing, made a very tasty salad to go with the steaks. No one had thought to chill any of the other wine, so Carl opened another bottle of merlot. Captain and crew made short work of the steaks and salad, then sat in the cockpit, sipping the wine.

While the two women spoke quietly, he studied their interaction with interest. They held the volume of their conversation to a level just below his ability to comprehend, but he wasn't so much interested in what they were saying, as he was in their body language. They seemed to be bonding well, but Terry still seemed to be strained, as she had been ever since Annapolis.

He sensed that something had happened during their visit home... something she didn't want to talk about. She would have to talk though, and soon. If her problem couldn't be resolved, he might have to find another crew. It wouldn't be right though, to force the issue in front of Amanda. It would have to wait for a more opportune time.

---

Terry had had a hard time sleeping.

First, she had only just awakened before dinner, the night before, when she found that her watch had been delayed until morning. She was wide awake when Carl and Amanda, who'd stood the previous watch, felt the need to turn in. Wide awake and bored, with nothing to do but contemplate her anguish.

As if that weren't bad enough, the couple apparently wasn't so tired that going to bed meant going to sleep, at least not right away. That girl Amanda could yowl! It would've been surprising if anyone in the vicinity got any sleep.

Finally, the boat wasn't moving. Isn't it funny how a person can get used to almost anything, given enough time? Terry had spent so many years aboard boats, that she'd quickly acclimated to the normal motion of Pixel as she made way, both under power and under sail. Stopping, even for one night, had the same effect on her ability to sleep as if a rock band's drummer had moved into her bunk to practice.

So, when morning finally came, along with her rescheduled turn at watch, she really hadn't had much rest. She struggled out of her bunk, though, and wandered into the Master's stateroom to rouse Amanda. Carl had been clear about his intention to have Amanda work with her. Fortunately, the next leg of the route south was a relatively easy one, and the planned early departure would make it possible for Pixel to be first in line at the locks.

Amanda complained bitterly about being forced to rise before the sun came up, but got up anyway. The two grumpy women made a beeline to the galley, to prepare and consume some coffee while staring, bleary-eyed, at each other, before casting off.

"Do you make coffee?" Terry asked, regarding the brewing apparatus suspiciously.

"Uh... not usually," Amanda responded, "just instant, sometimes..."

"Okay," Terry decided, "I'll make the coffee. You rustle up some breakfast."

I can do this! Amanda thought, grimly, as she got out the ingredients. Although she usually skipped breakfast on workdays, getting her coffee at StarBuck's, her weekend routine nearly always included cooking and eating a large breakfast. She gathered the ingredients and utensils while Terry looked for the coffee grounds.

"Did you notice Carl watching, when we were talking last night?"

"No," Terry responded. "Why do you ask?"

"He seemed to be happy that we were getting along, but I think he's tense about something, as well. Do you have any idea why that might be?"

"Well, we did just recently have a pretty tense confrontation..."

"I don't think that's it," Amanda interrupted. "That would explain him being tense around me, but I think his anxiety is directed at you! You seem to be tense and apprehensive too. Is my being here causing problems for you?"

Terry stopped what she was doing, and gaped at her in surprise.

"No!" she protested. "Don't even think about that! I'm really happy that Carl has someone special, and you are not in the way!"

"So what's bugging you then?" Amanda demanded. "I've only been aboard a couple of days, and even I can see that things aren't right with you. I can tell, too, that Carl's mood deteriorates when he sees you in distress."

Terry stiffened. "I don't know what you're talking about!"

Amanda exploded. "Bullshit! You've got some kind of monkey on your back, and it's affecting everything you do. You look like you haven't slept for a week, and you spend every moment you have alone, crying... your eyes give it away! How can that not affect how you do your work as crew?

"You can't hide it. I didn't miss it, so how do you think Carl could? How long do you think it'll be before he reacts to it, and what do you think he'll do? I'm trying to be a friend here, like you did for me. Do you think he would be any less likely to kick you off the boat than he would me? You may be a better sailor than me, but I seem to recall, he felt fully capable of going it alone, when he left Boston!"

Terry slumped. "You're right. I have a big problem, but it's personal... and I can't talk to Carl about it, because he would... kick me off the boat. Not for what you think, though."

"Why is it everyone seems to know what think before I tell them? Never mind, just tell me what's going on... maybe I can help you deal with Carl."

Terry badly needed a sympathetic ear. In the face of Amanda's indictment of her behavior, she had no defense, so with a deep breath and a resigned sigh, she gave in. She described the joy of an unexpected visit home, destroyed by the news of her father's terminal condition. She told of the anguished arguments with her parents about whether she should continue on south, with Carl, or tell him to find another crew. Between sobs, she told how she left the boat at every overnight stop, just so that she could call home for an update on her dad, and then drink herself into oblivion.

When the story was done, she felt empty and fatigued.

Amanda had kept quiet throughout the telling of the tale, and gazed thoughtfully at her companion. "You know, Carl would probably let you use his cell phone to call home," she said.

"I'm sure he would," Terry responded, "but what if he overheard me talking to my folks? He would want to send me back home to be with them, and I just couldn't bring myself to fight that. Mom and Dad would be so pissed if I let that happen!"

"Why would they be angry about that?"

"It's complicated. First, they say they don't want me to put my life on hold, just waiting for Dad to die. They pointed out that my being there wouldn't change either the final outcome or its timing. I argued that I don't have anything going on in my life that's more important to me than my parents. I thought I had won, but then the night before I left, my Dad didn't come out for supper.

"Mom took me outside for a talk. She said that, at times during the treatments for his condition, Dad had become terribly weak and sick, and that it embarrassed him for people to see him that way. She said he begged her not to let me know, because he felt it would be traumatic for both of us, for me to see him that way.

"As the treatments failed, and the cancer advanced, the sickness and weakness became more frequent and enduring. The reason he didn't come to supper that night was that he was having an episode, and he absolutely refused to allow me to see him that way.

"Carl's parents knew what was happening. They've been friends with my folks since before I was born. They knew, but had been sworn to secrecy, to keep Carl from finding out and telling me.

"Dad came out for breakfast the morning we left, looking only a little weaker than when I last saw him."

As Terry fell silent, Amanda studied her. After a short while she said, "Let me think about this for awhile. Maybe I can come up with something to help mitigate the problem. In the meantime, we have a boat to move..."

The women finished their breakfast in silence, and then went topside to begin the day's work.

---

Carl stood in quiet thought at the companionway door, just out of sight, He had been awakened when Terry rousted Amanda for the day's first watch, but had almost gotten back to sleep when the noise level in the galley had risen sharply. He got up to investigate, and hadn't planned to eavesdrop, but the Amanda's outburst had drawn his attention, and the subject matter of the conversation had kept it.

That explains a lot. I guess I'll just have to wait a while to see what Amanda comes up with...

Having concluded that no action was necessary or desirable at the moment, he returned to his bunk, and fell into a fitful sleep.

---

Terry was surprised to learn that Amanda had already garnered a bit of experience piloting Pixel. Carl hadn't mentioned it, and he'd always been very protective of the helm, as far as his girlfriends were concerned. On the other hand, she had orders to give Amanda as much experience as she could handle.

South Mill's Lock was well behind them now, and they had just entered the Pasquotank River. Her watch was up and Terry was exhausted. Her depression and lack of sleep were taxing her, physically, so she left Amanda on the helm, and went below to roust Carl. As she passed through the companionway, she saw him coming out of his stateroom. She gave him a weak smile and said, simply, "Your watch..."

"You look like death warmed over," he responded, pulling her into a hug. "I want you to really get some sleep this time." With that, he gave her a quick kiss, slapped her bottom, and sent her staggering off to her bunk.

As he entered the cockpit, he observed that Amanda appeared to be tense, apparently trying very hard to safely guide Pixel down the river.

"Relax," he told her, "Pixel isn't that hard to drive. You'll just tire yourself out more quickly, concentrating so hard."

She gave him a vexed look.

"Easy for you to say! You're not trying to thread somebody else's very expensive toy through all this traffic!" she retorted. "Would you like to take the wheel?"

"No, no, you're doing fine," he laughed, as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. He rested his chin on her shoulder, and went on, "but you are really tense, and the traffic isn't really that bad... so what's bothering you?"

Amanda glanced at him apprehensively and cleared her throat.

"Carl," she began, "if I asked you to do me a small favor, without any questions, would it make you angry?"

"Well, that would likely depend on what it was you were asking. However," he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his cell phone, "if this was all you wanted, it'd be no big deal!"

"What?? How..." she blurted.

"No mystery," he said. "You girls got quite loud, early on in Terry's watch. I heard the whole thing. Now give me the wheel, and take her the phone, so she can call her parents before she tries to sleep."

Completely nonplussed, Amanda did just that.

Terry was grateful, but worried that her family misfortune might cause problems between her and Carl. Amanda pointed out that Carl hadn't seemed at all angry or upset, and that in any case, it was water over the dam, now. Terry agreed and after a twenty minute conversation with her mother, was able to sleep through the remainder of her off-watch period, for the first time since leaving Annapolis.

---