"My name is Edith." The little five year old girl stood
before the classroom of teenagers. Her blue eyes pierced the audience as she
spoke for the first time to them. "The book I wrote," Edith produced a book from
the podium before her and had held it up. "This is my hypothesis on life
as we know it," she brushed away a strain of her hair from her face and glanced
at several different people before speaking again, "political, physical, and our
own human existence." The girl opened the book to where a bookmark had been placed
previously, and then looked back to the crowd. "We are here, not to die- not to live.
We are here to preserve. Preserve empathy, preserve hope. Preserve persistence
that no other type of being can demonstrate." The audience listened carefully,
apparently amazed at the small little, girl voice speaking in such an adult,
intelligent way.
Deeply, she had taken her breath. Edith placed the book to her
side and stepped closer to the class. Noticably emotional about what she had
read, apparently something needed to be voiced from her heart. "We are here to
protect what is- from going away. We hold the world high in our fingertips. We
are the choice of this world, we are the outcome."
Walking slowly down the path from the park, away from her
parents, away from the world, Edith observed the delicateness of the world
around her, from the grass- to the flowers. She stooped down to touch a flower,
running her fingers through the petals, to its nectar. Standing back up from her
position, she found herself surrounded by boys- three of them.
"Look what we have here," one of the boys stated.
"Yeah, looks like you walked down the wrong path babe." The
fatter kid took the girl and drug her into the woods, as the other boys
followed.
A tear streamed down Edith's cheek, "to fight each other for
the right choice, is to violate our responsibilities- our obligations." Edith
closed her eyes. Some of the people in the class had started getting worried about the girl.
"We already know what our obligation is. That obligation is represented by our
desire for love, the compassion that fills our bodies. The pleasure that tickles
the back of our minds. We already know what we want, it is the way our mind
translates our extremely complex impulses into words, is why preserving this
life is so difficult. To ignore the obligation that is so obvious to us, to
ignore the pain and suffering, and the emotional trauma of our human
counterparts. We have completely failed."
A loud rip of her sun dress sounded throughout the woods, and
Edith's muffled screams as well. "Shut up bitch!" One of the guys pushed the
girl's face down until it was in contact with his erect naked penis. The girl
tried to fight but her strength was no match for these big guys. Her lips were
pressed and pushed onto the boy's cock. "This is where you learn an important
lesson bitch, you will not get anywhere in life unless you suck some fucking
cock!"
Edith's eyes just stared wide eyed, incapable of
realizing what was happening to her. Everything seemed to go by in slow motion,
the movements of the boys, her own screams seemed to last minutes. At the
ground, she could see one of those flowers, smashed- smashed by the onslaught.
Her mind was fighting her, her emotions were attacking her. She felt like
crying, she felt like screaming, she felt like crawling in the back recesses of
her mind, trying to cuddle up, so that they do not find her pride, her mind, her
dignity.
"Please!" Punctuated by another loud scream, "stop it!
stop it! Please!" Screaming.
Moments later, the boys rushed off. She laid there on the
dried leaves, looking up towards the clouds, to the sky. She whimpered to
herself, feeling the sperm cooling on her face with dried leaves sticking to it,
as well as on her chest, and dripping down her gaping, hurting vagina. She could
not move, that part of her that hid in her mind, she could not find anymore. It
was raped out of her, Edith was raped out of her body, taken by force by these
three boys.
"We have a choice to correct our failure." Edith walked
through the class room, and to a specific seat. "Can I sit here please?" The
girl sitting there sat up, and walked to another seat. Edith looked to her left
at a teenager boy whom she had recognized from her rape. The boy gulped knowing
exactly who she was. "We have a choice, to make things right. To give in to our
obligations. To- become what we have always wanted. To do the things we have
always dreamed. To walk," she took the boy's hand and held it for a moment, "in a
park, without that obligation being challenged." She looked into the boy's eyes.
"My name is Edith. Please buy my book." She stood up and walked back to the
front of the class. "Thank you, Mr. Wilson, for letting me speak today."
Edith looked to the ceiling of her bedroom; the ceiling fan
whirling around slowly at her. She remembered the rape, she remembered how awful
it felt. The idea of being taken by the three boys repulsed her. She felt the
back of her neck with her fingers, the bruises that she had to cover up
extensively with foundation. Her body felt raw, painful, abused. Her obligation
in life, has been mistreated, disregarded- like she was a cow ready to be
slaughtered. The dirt that she felt on her became even more prominent. This
feeling, was becoming worse, and worse by the moment. The fan- she watched, a
way of her meditating- to find the inner peace that she had talked about in her
book. The book she typed out, and published. So young she was, how could they
just do that to her? How could she even face people- knowing that she let
herself become a victim. To be attacked by the very individuals that are
supposed to work for her, work with her.
It was an important lesson to her, Edith always believed that
everything seemed to happen for a reason. It was a lesson to be learned, the
lesson that perhaps she must make this obligation happen. Her obligation to
become what she dreamed, what she wanted to be. What was it though? What did she
want to be- was a question that entered into her mind countless times.
In the passenger seat, her backpack on her back, in
her school uniform, Edith looked out of the window into the rainy day. The water
droplets fed to other water droplets, making them bigger, and bigger. It was
exactly how she explained it to everyone that cared to listen. Take what opposes
you, and turn it into something that compliments you. The rain fell hard onto the
cement outside of the moving sports utility vehicle. Her eyes pierced into the
world with incredible focus, hoping that perhaps the answer would unveil itself
to her. To show her what it will take to conquer her obligations- to become
powerful.
She stood there, at the park- looking down the pathway to her
question. The question that was asked in her mind so many times. The answer was
down that path. Her breathing was rapid as her fear began to betray her
thoughts, her reasoning. It was this fear, she could not become susceptible to- it
is what interferes with her own obligations- dreams, responsibilities. She
stood there, looking as she did before, in front of the class, conquering her
fear to speak. She slowly looked down her arm, down her body, down to her right
foot- it rose, and it began to move towards her answer. The vibrations that
course through her began to fight and win the battle. The fear was excavating out
of her, the world becoming simpler, and easier to understand for her. The energy
and courage and vibrations were coursing through her body in a positive way. Her
feet walked faster, down the path, her eyes peeled for action, peeled for what she
desired. To make her enemies into something that would make her stronger. The
flower still stood there, at the very place she was attacked. She focused
heavily on it, a sense of loss entered her. The emotion that filled her mind,
she began to whimper with tears rolling down her eyes as she dropped down to that
flower again- her fingers, caressing the beauty. It was part of her obligation to
make a choice- for the flower, for herself. She stood back up, looking around
her. No one was there, no one to help her, no one to satisfy her responsibility.
Edith: Chapter 2
The teenage boy tripped backwards and onto his back. He began
to crawl backwards away from the onslaught, the fear in his eyes was apparent.
"What do you want from me!?" the boy yelled, hearing the succeeding echo through the
hallway. His eyes gazed behind him towards the door at the end of the hallway,
breathing fast and rapid. Immediately, the little girl appeared into his sight,
blocking him from the escape of his fear. The front of his pants began to
dampen, and then the liquid flowed down his leg, and finally to the ground- his
urine removing what dignity he had.
The whirling sound- the repetitive slicing it did against the
stale air, the light breeze it suggested into the room. Her eyes stared upon it,
they moved from side to side, and up and down. Her mind filled with thought,
filled with her failure- and the way to correct it. Her mind focused on the
actions that were taken against her. What was the feeling inside her that was
begging to become realized, the vibration that ran through her body? It was like
a chill- but warm, comfortable. She wanted it to bathe her with its
enlightenment, she wanted it to stimulate her existence, to speak to her- to
teach her.
The body of the teenage boy laid there, his leg smashed and
perhaps even pulled apart inside his dockers, the staining of his blood painted
the painful picture. The skin of his torso was burned to a crisp, the fabric of
his shirt was now fused with it. His body shook ever so slightly, the apparent
extremity of the pain running through his body- the fidgeting was obviously
involuntary. His face was obscured, being straddled by the legs of a small girl,
the body weight against his face- her skirt covering down to her knees- covering
her putrid act. Her hands grasped at the back of the teenager's head and held it
against her tightly. The feeling of his involuntary motions against her most
intimate parts gave her an extreme thrill. Her eyes were closed, and her mouth
parted slightly as she concentrated not mainly what he was doing to her, but
what she was doing to him.
The hallway was dark, the only light came from the door at
the end of the hallway, the silhouette of the young girl ground its hips into
the face of the teenager. The body twitched, but that was going away... slowly.
The only sound, came from the grinding, and the breathing of the little girl.
Eventually she stopped, she took the blow torch from the ground, and turned the
flame on. She brought it down to the guy's neck and started to decapitate by
burning the flesh away. The body started jiggling in obvious pain- unknowing it
was still alive to the girl. A slight groan could be heard, the brain did not
know how to fix the problem so it was just a jiggle from the body, no movement
in his hands, no yelling, screaming. Just a satisfying jiggle for her little sex
to feel. She finally stood up with her fingers gripping into his hair, and
pulling the head away from its body. Strings of blood and tissue ripped apart in
the process even at a few feet apart they connected. The body's jiggling did not
stop for minutes. A little girl's evil laugh sounded throughout the hallway.
Edith looked away from the fan, she looked down between her
body, where her covers were. The blanket peaked where her hand was- between her
legs, the motion of the blanket rose, and fell- rapidly. Her eyes began to roll
up, and she bit on the hem of the blanket hard. Her body began to convulse and
shudder, she tried desperately not to make a sound, but a loud abrupt exhale
escaped, and then another. Once the moment was over, she let herself breathe- to
feel the cool breeze touch her face, beads of sweat dripping. Her breathing
settled- and then asleep.
The fork impaled a pea on her lunch plate. The noise of
hundreds of children, the sound of shoes trying to stop their owners, letting a
loud squeal out. Edith looked up to the fans that whirled above her in the
school cafeteria. She stared at it while she played with the pea on the end of
her fork. She felt like an alien, felt like she did not belong here. They seemed
disinterested in helping each other, more interested in hurting each other. In
the distance, she watched as two kids pushed a smaller kid to a wall. A teacher
ran up to stop what was happening. She fixated her eyes on the victim. It was
quite apparent that the obviousness of his obligations was being destroyed. He
was creating a new idea of what he was supposed to do. She watched the little
kid walk over to his seat, and then stared forward, not touching his food-
trying to understand what it is he did wrong. Edith muttered to herself under
her breath, "nothing." She stood up to take her barely eaten lunch to the
garbage.
This feeling, she could not understand. The feeling that she
had inside her just could not be quenched. No matter what she did, no matter how
she acted- she felt sad, and angry at the same time. Was it anger though? Was
it- sadness? She well understood how the brain worked, the body worked. How the
energy reacts inside the brain, to produce a result. The energy that made her
feel alive. Was it sadness? Was it anger? Maybe it was not? If no one around her
wanted to do what they were responsible for or what they were obligated to do-
then why would she feel sad, or angry? Perhaps the world has given her a
misinterpretation of what this feeling should be. In her book- she said that the
labels that describe these feelings- are very abstract- and no word or label can
define feelings- the vibrations- the energy flowing through her body. Perhaps
what she had to do is delegate her own labels, her own descriptions of what they
meant. It was not sadness, or anger- but...
Edith rushed to the bathroom- her breathing rapid. She walked
into a stall and sat down, she did not know why she was all of the sudden
shocked by these emotions. Her eyes filled with tears, her body reacting exactly
opposite of what her tear ducts were. Almost a happiness, but at the same time,
she felt- like she wanted to rip her skin off- rip it all off. She screamed-
abruptly, surprising even herself. People out in the cafeteria looked to the
restrooms in shock. The screams were powerful, were full of emotion, full of
intense feelings- energy. Screams, not the continuing screams, but abrupt quick
shock wave of a scream.
Miss. Blake walked to the girl's bathroom door and touched it
for a moment before entering, wondering if the screaming would continue.
Immediately however, the door opened. Edith stood there and looked to the teacher
and flashed a half-hearted smile to her. "Edith, my god are you alright!?"
Edith looked to her teacher- a substitute teacher. She
wondered why there was always a substitute, the regular teacher was probably on
speed balls at home- calls in like everyday. "I was sneezing."
Miss. Blake looked to the other kids, then she stooped down
to look eye level with Edith. "Look Edith, I want to have a talk with you after
class today. I am sure everything is fine, but I want to just make sure O.K.
honey?"
Edith walked away from her teacher, the eyes of every student
fixated on her. She looked to the kid that had been picked on earlier- his eyes as
well fixated on her. His obligations become less and less obvious. It did not
matter to her anymore. Something was different about her, her view on everyone
had changed. The feeling was relabeled, the reason for the feeling- changed. The
feeling going through her was no longer that of sadness, nor anger. It was something
else now, redefined, something that benefited her rather than weakened her.
The bell rang, only one kid remained seated. The teacher
looked to her, seemingly trying to figure out how to talk to her. Edith talked
to high school classes, about her book- but she was still a kid, and adults just
have this weird view on kids, like kids do not understand life. They understand
life completely, Edith thought... they just do not have the knowledge yet to act
on it. Edith's case was different however, being a very intelligent young girl,
she was capable of keeping a conversation with an adult. The only problem was-
the adult would find it odd, and begin to feel less of themselves. It seemed
that, since she was so smart at her young age, that adult should be several times that.
The room was empty, and the teacher had stood up and walked
towards Edith. Miss Blake sat on one of the desks next to her and looked to the
little girl. "It must be incredibly hard for you," Miss Blake began. She
however- did not restart immediately. She had to let her own feelings get
adjusted with the weird ones that were radiating between the two. Edith only
looked to her. "So smart, so young. I read your book and I believe it is to be
one of the most compelling, most mind enlightening books I have ever read, to
think that it came from you." Blake looked away for a second, to preserve some
of her professionalism. "I have been noticing a change in you Edith." Edith
looked to her- with a puzzling expression on her face, she'd only met the
substitute maybe two or three other times since the school year had started.
"Why were you screaming in the restroom Edith?" Miss Blake
asked. "Everyone in the cafeteria knew it wasn't a sneeze."
Edith looked forward, she thought for a moment. Was it
something she could say to this teacher? Would she understand her if she told
her? Would she think of her as a psycho? She did not know how to tell the woman
why she had screamed. "I just did."
Miss Blake refocused her eyes on Edith, stood up from
sitting on the desk, and took Edith's hand and rubbed it for a moment. "Tell you
what. Why don't you come to my place sometime this week, or maybe even tonight-
and we will talk about it, woman to woman." The teacher stooped down again at
eye level. Edith thought for a moment at how dangerous this could be for her if
she would go. She did not know Miss. Blake very well, but she seemed nice. Her
feeling of fear was however altered as well in the change that occurred in the
cafeteria or maybe in the park. She looked into the eyes of her teacher, and
could not find a reason not to go. Maybe she really did want to help her with
what she was going through? Maybe she should go to her house, and interface with
someone that had a better level of intelligence than her peers in the class. It
made her feel good that someone wanted to hang out with her in the beginning.
Not that she really wanted to hang out with anyone, just it seemed to be a good
idea at the time.
Lightning struck loud and the rain poured heavily. Edith
looked back to the SUV and waved at it as it was pulling away. Her parents were
so gullible sometimes. She supposed her intelligence had something to do with
it. She stood at the doorway of her substitute teacher's house. She told her
mother that she was the counselor of the school and that she wanted to hang out
with her and talk with her. She eventually pressed the lit doorbell button, a
chime was audible. Edith noticed the light from the headlights of the SUV had
dissipated and then was gone. She waited at the door for sometime before it
opened and the unique sight of seeing a teacher in normal formal clothes greeted
Edith. She smiled, it was good knowing that there were people who had a normal life, a life in
which was not controlled by others- in a lesser way, of course. She still had to
actually wear clothes, and had to probably pay the water bill for the house- at
least. But, it was the display of a person that was more in control of their
lives, the type of person that is more obvious of the obligations she talks
about in her book. The lightning struck again, as Edith was welcomed into the
house- dry and warm was all that mattered to Edith at the moment.
"Have a seat in the living room, I made hummus with pita
bread, and iced raspberry peach tea." Edith looked to the coffee table in front
of the sofa, and took a piece of bread. "Dip it into that hummus, I promise you
will like it." Edith dipped her bread into the hummus and then took a bite. She
smiled at the taste. "I made it from scratch, I never liked the hummus they sell
at supermarkets." Edith and Blake finally sat down, and enjoyed their iced tea,
talking about normal school stuff. A silence finally occurred between the girls,
"Edith," Blake adjusted her seating position to have a more direct facing
towards Edith. Edith, looked to Blake more sincerely. "I want to tell you why I
truly asked you to come over." Blake went and took Edith's hand into her own,
and began rubbing it. "My first name is Mia. You can call me that from now on."
Mia watched the reactions in Edith's eyes. "I want you to become my apprentice."
Edith's mind began to wander with the idea, "apprentice, what
do you mean?"
Mia looked deep into Edith's eyes, "you are a very
intelligent girl. I have been noticing a very subtle change in you. The things
you write about in your book, the way you carry yourself, the way you speak in a
classroom in front of all of those high school students. There is something
happening to you, and I am quite sure you know what I am talking about."
Her eyes watched the whirling again as she laid on her bed.
Her mind filled with thought, the realization of the changes in her. The things
she must do, the new obligations she had inside her. The new feelings that
flowed through her body now were not of fear, anger, hatred, or even sadness. It
was pleasure. That very realization- was what made her scream. To masturbate at
the thought of murdering a teenager in the hallway of school. The flower, the
smashed flower, the- the view she had on it, the pain of that little boy in the
cafeteria- the sadness, the anger, no- she felt... she felt... Edith rose up in
her bed to look before her, and spoke aloud "felt, refreshingly good..." Her
mind filled with flashes of the little boy in the cafeteria and slamming him
against the wall, over and over. Her eyes fluttered, down, up, side to side. Her
mind was in hyper drive. Blood began to puke out of the the little boy, crying,
screaming, his eyes was what told her the most about how he felt. The feeling
only got better, and better. Taking the obligation right out of him. She wanted
to take more from him. Her hand plunged into the boy's chest and pulled out his
pumping heart. Slow motion took a hold of her vision, her eyes looked towards
the slowly pumping heart, she watched it for a second. She then turned to look
into the boy's eyes, to see his reaction, the pure betrayal of his obligation in
life, the pure betrayal of his human peers, the pure betrayal of who he was
supposed to be. It felt better than anything she had ever felt before. She took
the very thing that meant something to him. She could take it from him. "I will
take it from him!" Edith said aloud.
Copyright (c) 2008, The Goddess of Death. All rights Reserved
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Polaris/www/