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CAUTION: This story is not politically correct. It includes the humiliation and degradation of willing and maybe not so willing black women. The "n" word is used liberally.



Julia's Journey

by Neal

Chapter 35 - Central State University 1986 (Betty's Story)


As the Temp Maids van took her to Professor Allen's house the next day, Julia wondered what awaited her there. It was awkward riding along with the other black women, Mary and Syl, knowing what they'd think of her if they knew how the white man had used her in such degrading fashion and how much she'd enjoyed the treatment. The both of them had made derisive comments about the professor based upon how much he enjoyed watching them scrub floors. The colored girl was positive that they'd be appalled if they knew what she'd done.

Professor Allen came to the door and let Julia in as the van backed out of the driveway after dropping her off.

"Good morning," smiled the professor.

"Good morning, sir," replied Julia bashfully.

Standing in the kitchen, Julia looked around while Professor Allen closed the door. She glanced down at the floor where she'd licked the white man's cum off the linoleum and later masturbated shamelessly while he watched. The negro's face flushed hot from the memory. Her pussy twitched, too. The white man sat down at the kitchen table.

"So, have you been thinking about what went on yesterday?" he asked. "Since you came back, the experience must not have been negative."

"No, sir, it wasn't negative at all," she answered. "I been thinkin' 'bout it a lot."

"Have you now?" smiled the professor. "Tell me, did you masturbate while thinking about it?"

Julia felt her face flush hot and her pussy twitch at the professor's question. Both the humiliating aspect of the question itself as well as the white man's lack of inhibition in asking it stirred up all the feelings she'd experienced the previous day.

"Yes, sir," replied Julia sheepishly.

"Come here," he ordered.

Her face still burning with shame at her admission, Julia walked over to where the professor sat and stood in front of him.

"Lift your dress up," he directed.

Immediately, Julia took the hem of her maid's uniform dress in both hands and lifted it high enough to expose her panties. Her pussy was buzzing now. Professor Allen hooked a finger in the waistband of the black girl's panties and pulled it down, revealing her slit. Embarrassed, but aroused, she stood there looking straight ahead while the white man examined her bare pussy.

Without warning, the professor unceremoniously yanked Julia's panties down to her knees. The negro remained standing still, holding her dress up, her naked cunt exposed.

"Turn around and bend over," instructed Professor Allen.

Julia faced away from the professor and bent over. The white man flipped her dress up over her back, baring her ass. The negro was startled when she felt him abruptly push two fingers into her vagina. She was so aroused that they slipped in easily. His hand was positioned in such a way that his thumb was touching her clit and he took advantage of the fact by gently rubbing on her sensitive nub.

After over a minute of silently finger fucking the negro girl, the Professor withdrew his fingers from her pussy. Julia stayed in the humiliating bent over position with her naked ass exposed.

"Stand up and face me," ordered the white man.

Straightening up, Julia turned around to face Professor Allen. Her panties slipped down her legs as she moved, but she kept her dress up and her pussy exposed. The white man stood up and held up his hand in front of the colored girl's face. She focused her eyes on his hand and could see that his fingers were slick with her wetness. He held his hand so close to her nose that she could smell herself on it.

The professor proceeded to wipe his fingers off on Julia's face, right under her nose and across her lips. Her nostrils flared with the strong scent of her own musk. Humiliated, she cast her eyes down.

"Open your mouth," he directed.

Julia opened her mouth. Professor Allen put the two fingers he'd had up her pussy into her mouth.

"Suck," he commanded.

Closing her lips around the white man's fingers, Julia sucked on them until he pulled his hand away.

"How does that taste?" he asked.

"It tastes like pussy, sir," she answered. "Nigger pussy."

"I bet it does," he said. "Now, pull your panties up and go make the coffee."

"Yes, sir," replied Julia.

Embarrassed, the colored girl bent down and pulled her panties back up. She went over to the coffee maker and started measuring the beans into the grinder. The whole time, Julia was hoping Professor Allen would surprise her by coming up behind her and taking her bent over the counter. The way he'd just humiliated her had left her incredibly aroused and eager to be penetrated and used.

As Julia was looking out the window while making the coffee, a taxi cab pulled up the driveway. The back door opened and a rather large black woman got out. The driver also climbed out and retrieved two suitcases from the trunk. He followed as the woman came up the steps to the door.

"Professor Allen?" said Julia. "Somebody jus' showed up in a cab."

"Ah, that must be Betty," replied the professor. "I spoke with her on the phone last night and she said she was returning a couple days early. Open the door for her."

Julia quickly stepped over to the door and opened it. Betty looked to be about forty years old with big breasts and an ample ass. Her hair was very short and she wore black plastic rimmed glasses. The older woman glanced at the young negro maid on her way in the door. The taxi driver was right behind her. He put the suitcases down on the kitchen floor.

Professor Allen paid the driver and Julia shut the door after he left. Betty stood there looking around the room.

"It's good to have you back, Betty," said the professor.

"Thank you, Perfesser Allen," replied Betty. "It's good to be back."

"This is Julia, the girl they sent over to help out while you were away," Professor Allen told her.

"Pleased to meet you," said Julia.

Betty looked Julia over quickly before replying.

"Likewise," she said.

"I'm afraid I have work to do on campus," said Professor Allen. "So I'll be leaving shortly. Don't forget you're still on vacation, Betty. Julia's here for the rest of the week so just let her take care of things."

"Yes, sir," said Betty. "I will."

"Good!" said the professor.

After having a cup of coffee, Professor Allen left for the campus, leaving Julia alone in the house with Betty. The colored girl took care of the breakfast dishes while the big black woman sat at the kitchen table, watching her.

"Perfesser Allen says you been doin' good fo' him," said Betty.

"I'm glad he's pleased," Julia replied.

"Oh, yeah, he sho' is pleased wit' you," said Betty. "He says you is a student at CSU. How come you workin' as a maid? Ain't there no better jobs fo' you to make money at?"

"Yes, I go to CSU," said Julia. "I don't mind this kind of work. I like it."

"You the first girl what stayed mo' 'n a day," Betty continued. "I heard they ain't like how the perfesser likes to keep a eye on 'em while they workin'. That don't bother you?"

"No," said Julia. "I don't mind it at all."

"No?" asked Betty. "You ain't mind havin' some white man standin' over you while you scrubbin' the floor? One o' them girls say they thought he was gettin' off on watchin' 'em work."

"I don't know about that...," said Julia.

"He was sayin' how you liked doin' what white mens say," Betty went on. "Is that a fact?"

Betty's words caught Julia off guard. The colored girl wasn't sure how to answer the question and didn't know where the older woman was going with this. She'd never shared that particular interest with any black people other than Eddie.

"He said that?" asked Julia.

"He did," answered Betty.

"Well..., I..., I do like doin' a good job for him how he wants...," stammered Julia.

"That ain't how it sounded," said Betty. "Sounded mo' like you got some fantasy goin' on 'bout bein' the massa's house nigga. I bet you get off on havin' him standin' over you while you scrubbin' the damn floor like a slave."

To Julia, it seemed like Betty could read her mind. She was stunned to hear the truth told back to her and didn't know what to say in response.

"How can you know somethin' like that?" asked Julia, a bead of sweat trickling down her forehead.

"I ain't hear you denyin' it, girl," Betty smiled. "Maybe I got it right."

Letting her shoulders sag, Julia was ready to admit defeat. She couldn't bring herself to lie and denying it would be like admitting to herself that the way she felt was wrong.

"I can't explain it...," said Julia. "I mean, if you don't understand, there ain't no way I can explain it to you."

"You ain't gotta 'xplain it to me, child," Betty's expression softened. "I un'erstan' 'xactly how you feels 'cause I feels the same way as you."

"What?" Julia looked up, puzzled.

"I'm sorry, girl," Betty apologized. "I ain't mean to get you all upset. The perfesser tol' me what a good girl you was, but I had to see fo' myse'f."

"I... don't understand," said Julia.

"I guess you ain't know it, but I been wit' the perfesser since... well, since 'fore he was a perfesser," said Betty. "I knows all 'bout wantin' to be the massa's house nigga, 'cause I been that man's nigga fo' mo' 'n twen'y years. You un'erstan' now?"

Julia felt a wave of relief wash over her. She had been prepared to defend herself, but now she realized that Betty was no different than she was.

"I think so...," Julia started. "But, I don't get why you were askin' me all that if you already knew..."

"What we like ain't 'xactly proper, Julia," Betty explained. "Regular folks, black o' white, ain't gonna un'erstan' us. They gonna think we ain't got no pride an' the perfesser 's some kinda racist asshole fo' likin' what we like an doin' what we do. Perfesser Allen says he trusts you an' maybe that oughta be good 'nough fo' me, but... well... if that man's got one weakness it's pretty nigga girls like you. I had to know fo' my own se'f that you was fo' real. Un'erstan'?"

"Yes," said Julia. "I understand now. I guess I never thought about it like that."

"Well, you gots to be think 'bout it, girl," said Betty. "Maybe you jus' a student an' I's jus' some maid. But, the perfesser 's a important man an' part o' servin' him is lookin' out fo' him. I doubt most folks he knows 'd ever think o' him... bein' into usin' niggas like he do, but we still gots to be careful 'bout it."

"You're right," agreed Julia. "I don't tell nobody 'bout what I like, but mainly 'cause I don't think they'd understand an' they'd think there was somethin' wrong wit' me. Sometimes I wonder how many folks I meet feel like I do, but there ain't no way for me to know."

"It's a shame, that's fo' sho'," said Betty. "But, that's how it is. I 'member how close I came to not never knowin' 'bout the perfesser. Back then, 'cause o' the times, it was even harder to talk 'bout wantin' to be a nigga fo' a white man. Folks was all 'bout civil rights an' all an' they ain't gonna un'erstan' how a black woman like me be wantin' my rights an' all but still wantin' to be a nigga fo' a white man."

"I can imagine," said Julia. "I guess you were lucky. Both of you."

"You right 'bout that," said Betty. "We was lucky. Funny thing is, it took some bad luck to bring us the good luck."

Julia listened as Betty told her story.

"It was jus' 'bout twen'y years ago when I first met the perfesser," Betty started. "Hard to believe it's been that long..."

*       *       *

My sister Angie jus' graduated from the state college she was goin' to. She's a couple years older 'n me. She was gonna spend the summer workin' at the legal aid office clerkin' an' doin' voter registration. Perfesser Allen..., well, Mister Allen. He weren't no perfesser back then, jus' a teachin' assistant or somethin' like that, he come down with her to help out, too. He was even stayin' at our house, sleepin' on the couch.

I liked him right away. He was so handsome an' smart an' well spoken. I didn't do nothin' 'bout it 'cause I thought he had a thing for Angie. Don't know why he would; it ain't like she did nothin' to look good. She kep' her hair all nappy in a big ol' 'fro an' all she wore was tee shirts an' army pants. 'sides, he ain't had no chance wit' her no how. No way Angie was gonna get wit' no white man. I was kinda su'prised she even let him come down there wit' her, but she did an' he came.

My other sister, Celia, jus' finished high school. We all call her Cee Cee. She's like the opposite of Angie. She had her hair all permed straight an' liked to dress all sexy wit' big earrings an' short skirts an' tall boots. Angie used to say she looked like a hooker and Cee Cee used to tell her she looked like a commando.

Cee Cee seemed to like Mister Allen, too. I could see her flirtin' wit' him an' I could tell he was noticin' it. I mean, he'd be checkin' her out when he thought she wasn't lookin', jus' like I saw him doin' wit' Angie. I even caught him checkin' me out, too, but I never let on I did even though I liked it. He had the jungle fever, fo' sho'.

He weren't the first white man I seen wit' it, neither. I was workin' as a housekeeper at the same hotel our mama worked at. I was a big girl even then an' I could see them white business men who stayed there checkin' out my fat black ass an' big titties while I was vacuumin' or pushin' a cart down the hallway. I'd be lyin' if I said I ain't like it, but I never let on I noticed 'cause it might be embarrassin' fo' 'em.

Anyways, I knew Mister Allen's heart was in the right place. He really did wanna help an' I knew he believed in the work he was doin' wit' Angie at the legal aid office. But, he also jus' liked bein' 'round all them negro girls.

I couldn't help but think 'bout what it'd be like to be wit' him seein' as how I knowed he liked negro girls. I used to see old movies on TV from way back. The only negro girls in 'em were always maids. Usually big fat ones. Kinda like me. They'd always be workin' for some white man an' even though they never said nothin' or showed nothin', I used to think them white men was usin' them negro maids.

I started thinkin' 'bout bein' wit' Mister Allen that way right after I seen how he looked at me an' Cee Cee. I didn't know if he was rich or nothin', but he was handsome an' smart' an' white, jus' like the men in the movies. An' I was jus' like the maids. I used to touch myself thinkin' bout bein' wit' him that way, but I never said nothin' to him or even let on nothin'.

I did kinda act like a maid fo' him. It was always me what brought him his coffee in the mornin' an' give him dinner at night. I'd be the one to get a pillow an' blanket fo' him to sleep wit' on the couch. I always call him "mister", too. I wanted to call him "sir" or "boss" like the maids in the movies, but I figured that be goin' too far, so I jus' used to think it an' not say it. I wanted tell him how I felt, but kep' waitin' fo' the right time.

It all ended 'round when summer was almost over. Me an' Angie was goin' shoppin' on my day off an' she wanted to stop by the legal aid office for somethin' or other on the way. When we got there, the front door was locked so Angie had to use her key to get in. We could hear somethin' goin' on in the back office so went on back there to check it out.

Angie pushed the door open an' her eyes got real big. I looked in an' couldn't believe what I seen. Cee Cee was on the couch ridin' Mister Allen. She had this big dumb grin on her face wit' her tits hangin' out an' jigglin' while she bounced up an' down on his dick.

Angie yelled, "What the fuck is you doin'!?"

I could tell she was pissed as hell 'cause she never talked like that.

Cee Cee jus' looked at her an' says, "What the fuck do it look like I's doin'?"

Angie tol' her, "Get outta here, you little slut! This ain't the place for you to be whorin' around!"

Cee Cee looked pissed, too. She had this tube top on that she'd pushed down under her tits. She pulled it up to cover herself an' got up. I saw Mister Allen's dick pop out. It was almost red an' it was shiny wit' Cee Cee's slime. I couldn't take my eyes off it. He got up real quick an' pulled up his pants.

Cee Cee was puttin' her panties back on when she says, "I ain't no whore, Angie. I was jus' havin' some fun. It ain't like you wanted it, no how."

Angie tol her, "That ain't the point. Now, go home. I'll deal wit' you later."

Cee Cee muttered, "Bitch," an' walked out.

Angie calmed down a little, but she was still pissed. She says, "I thought you were different, Dennis. That's why I asked you to come down here. Instead, you jus' like any other damn white man. All you want is a piece of black ass."

Mister Allen tol' her, "It isn't like that, Angie. I want to help. I didn't plan on this happening... Believe me."

Angie says back, "You know, you ain't jus' like any other damn white man. You worse. At least the others are jus' a bunch of horny bastards. But you... You come down here..., the great white hope..., here to help us dumb niggas who's too stupid an' ignorant to help themselves. Then you 'spect us to be so grateful that we jus' spread our legs an' beg fo' yo' damn white dick. You don't jus' wanna fuck us, you wanna look down on us while you do it."

Mister Allen says, "That's not true at all! I don't think anything like that and you know it!"

Angie says, "All I know is I want the fuck you outta here. Pack your shit up an' go home."

Mister Allen sighed an' says, "All right, Angie. I know I shouldn't have done what I did, and you have every right to be angry and throw me out. But, I truly wanted to help. I'm sorry. I'll be out of the house in an hour."

Mister Allen walked out of the office. I ain't know what to say so I ain't say nothin'. Angie jus' stood there.

Finally, Angie says, "I can't believe that fuckin' bastard. Takin' advantage of Cee Cee like that."

I says, "I ain't know 'bout him takin' advantage of her."

Angie says, "What're you talkin' 'bout, Betty? You saw the same thing I saw! That white man had his damn dick all up in our baby sister!"

I says, "Well, yeah, but it ain't look like he was forcin' her or nothin'."

Angie sighed an' went on, "No, he didn't force her to do nothin'. Society forced her. White society. Don't you get it? They got all the power. Cee Cee can't help herself. You know how she's always goin' with white men. It's 'cause she can't have that power for herself. The only way she can come close is to let it fuck her."

Well, I knew better 'n to argue wit' Angie when she started talkin' like that. So, I jus' says, "I know what you mean."

Angie says, "Then explain it to Cee Cee. I try tellin' her but she jus' don't get it."

I jus' stood there. There weren't nothin' more to say.

After a bit Angie says, "I guess I better stay here. Dennis was supposed to be watchin' the office an' I wanna keep it open."

I tol' her, "Okay, Angie. I'll go back to the house then. I'll see you when you get home."

Angie says, "Make sure that bastard's gone by the time I get there."

I says, "I will."

I found Cee Cee in the park near the house. She was jus' sittin' on a bench so I went over to her.

She saw me comin' an' says, "I'm sorry, Betty. I shouldn't a done it. I got Angie all pissed at Dennis an' now he's goin'. I can't even say nothin' to him 'cause it's all my fault."

I says, "Well, it happened. Ain't much to be done 'bout it now. Angie 'll get over it."

Cee Cee says, "Yeah, but I fucked it up for Dennis. I know he really wanted Angie."

I tol' her, "That weren't never gonna happen an' you know it."

Cee Cee laughed a little, "You right about that. I dunno what's wrong wit' her. Dennis is a good man. Good lookin', too."

I says, "You know how she is."

Cee Cee says, "Yeah, I knows how she is..., fucked up. She tells me I shouldn't be goin' wit' no white men 'cause all they want is what's 'tween my legs. Like that ain't the same for black men. She say how they jus' usin' me an' how they see me like some kinda animal what ain't as good as them. It's all bullshit. She don't know shit 'bout it."

I says, "Well, you do seem to jus' go out wit' white men. You know how Angie feels 'bout that."

She says, "So what? It ain't none o' her business, no how. 'sides, I can't tell her how I really feel 'cause she'll jus' get pissed an' start goin' off on me."

I tol' her, "You can tell me."

Cee Cee thought for a second an' says, "I dunno... it's jus' that when I see a white man' checkin' me out... No..., not jus' checkin' me out, but checkin' me out wit'... that look..., you know? To a black man, I'm jus' a woman. Like a white woman mus' be to a white man. But, to a white man, I's... I dunno... exotic... special. They see somethin' in me that they want. Somethin' sexy. The kinda girl they can do what they want wit' an' not hold back... I dunno... maybe I ain't makin' no sense..."

I says, "I know what you mean."

Cee Cee looked at me an' says, "See, that's how it is wit' Dennis. He got that look when he looks at me. I seen him look at you that way, too, Betty."

I blushed hearin' that. I ain't know she noticed. Cee Cee laughed. I was glad she was feelin' a little better.

Cee Cee went on, "I knowed he was goin' back home in a few days an' I guess I really... you know... wanted him. I knowed he ain't got no chance wit' Angie anyways, so what the fuck?"

"I got dressed up in this 'cause I know he likes it an' went down to the legal aid office 'cause I knowed he was gonna be there alone. We was standin there talkin' an' I got up the nerve to ask him if he liked me. He said he did. So I asked him if he thought I was pretty an' he said yeah.

I had my tube top pulled down a little so he could see the tops of my tits pretty good an' he was havin' a hard time not lookin'. I could see he dick was gettin' hard, too. I smiled all sweet at him an' put my hand on his arm an' then moved it up an' over his chest an' then down to his crotch an' squeezed his dick through his pants.

"I tol' him I wanted him inside me an' to lay down on the couch. He did it an' I undid his pants an' pulled 'em down to his knees. I got my panties off an' got up on him. I took his dick in my hand an' put it 'tween my legs an' sat down on it. It felt damn good, too. I went up an' down a couple times an' then I pulled my tube top down. I asked him if he liked my tits an' he said he did.

"I kep' it up for another minute or two when I hear y'all come in. I remember thinkin' 'oh shit', but I ain't wanna stop. You know the rest. I ain't even get off thanks to Angie.

Cee Cee finally says, "So, it ain't even his fault. I done it all, not Dennis."

I was gettin' kinda fired up hearin' 'bout what Cee Cee done wit' Mister Allen, but tol' her, "He's a growed man, Cee Cee. It ain't jus' on you. I better go on home an' make sure Dennis is okay."

Cee Cee got serious again an' says, "Tell him I's sorry, Betty. I really like him, you know."

I says, "I know, Cee Cee. I like him, too."

Maybe it was part of bein' the middle sister, but I understood both Angie an' Cee Cee. In a way, I even agreed wit' both of 'em.

I felt the same way as Cee Cee about white men checkin' me out. I knowed they saw somethin' in me they ain't see in no white woman. They saw somethin' made for 'em to fuck or do whatever they wanted wit'. I could see it in their eyes. Like Cee Cee said, it was like we was some kinda sexy animal they ain't have to hold back wit'. It was special, but kinda nasty. I loved it.

I also knowed 'xactly what Angie was talkin' 'bout when she said how white folks got the power an' how the closest we could get to it was to get fucked by it. I ain't know if Mister Allen thought we was jus' a bunch o' dumb niggas what needed a white man to help 'em an' I ain't know if he was lookin' down on us like she said.

But, see, that's the thing. Angie thought all that shit an' got pissed as hell 'bout it. I thought 'bout the same thing an' got all hot about it. I liked thinkin' 'bout gettin' used by a powerful white man. I used to get off on thinkin' 'bout jus' bein' a dumb nigga fo' him an' him doin' what he wanted wit' me. When I got close, I'd think about him callin' me nigga an' makin' me get on my knees fo' him or crawl like a animal fo' him. I knowed it ain't right to feel that way, but I couldn't help it

So, I knew all 'bout what Angie was sayin'. It's jus' that what pissed her off, turned me on. Cee Cee wanted to be the white man's slut. I wanted to be his bitch. I wanted to be his dog.

I went on up to the house. Mister Allen was packin' his shit up. He looked up at me when I came in the front room where he'd been stayin'.

I says, "Mister Allen, I's real sorry 'bout what happened. Cee Cee tol' me what happened. Angie got it all wrong. You ain't take advantage of her or nothin'. Cee Cee did it all herself 'cause she wanted to."

He says, "You don't have anything to apologize for, Betty. I shouldn't have let things with Cee Cee get out of hand that way. I kind of let my... nature... overrule my brain."

I says to him, "Maybe you right. But, Angie got no business talkin' to you that way even if she think it's true. It jus' ain't right. She oughta be mo' respectful of you."

He tol' me, "I'm afraid she doesn't see it like you do. You're a very respectful girl. You know, at first, when I first met you I thought you didn't like me since you always spoke so formally to me."

I says, "That ain't true! I liked you right away, Mister Allen."

He smiled an' tol' me, "I know that, Betty. I saw how you were always taking care of me even though you certainly didn't have to so I knew your speaking formally wasn't because you didn't like me. You were being respectful, and I appreciate that... maybe more more that you realize."

Right away my mind started goin' tryin' to figure out what he meant 'bout him 'preciatin' me bein' respectful. I started thinkin' how maybe he knowed why I was doin' it an' he liked it. I was afraid I was gettin' my hopes up fo' nothin', but I couldn't help it.

So, I jus' says, "Thank you, sir. I's glad."

I seen him smile a little when I said that. I ain't never said "sir" to him 'fore then an' I was happy to see he liked it.

He went back to his packin' an says, "Well, I better finish up before Angie gets back."

I asked him, "You ain't gonna drive all the way back tonight, is you?"

He says, "No, it's a little too far to go. I'll get a room somewhere on the road."

I tol' him, "If you want, you can stay at the hotel I work at fo' free. They ain't filled up or nothin' an' the desk clerk's a friend."

He says, "That'd be great. Thanks, Betty."

I said, "You ain't gotta thank me, Mister Allen. I like doin' it fo' you."

I helped him finish packin' an' we went in his car to the hotel. The whole time we was drivin' I was thinkin' how to say what I wanted. When we got there, I talked to my friend an' got the room key an' we went on up. I closed the door an' stood there watchin' him put his suitcase down.

He says, "Thanks for getting me this room, Betty. I couldn't have afforded it if I had to pay for it."

I says to him, "I wanted to help... It's 'bout all I can do."

He says, "It's plenty and I appreciate it. I better drive you home soon."

I kinda got a lump in my throat thinkin' my chance was slippin' away.

I says, "I can take the bus home. That's how I get home from work. Or... I can stay... if you want."

He looks at me an' asked me, "You want to stay here?"

I says, "Yes, sir. If you ain't mind."

He smiled an' says, "I'd never mind having such a sweet respectful girl stay with me."

I asked him, "What was you sayin' 'bout you 'preciatin' me bein' respectful more 'n I know?"

He says, "I'm not sure how to put it exactly... The way you talk to me... is quite gratifying to me. It gives me a great deal of pleasure. I can't explain why... It just does."

I says, "A fine man like you oughta be treated wit' respect by a girl like me, sir. I like doin' it, too."

He says, "I'm glad you think so, Betty, but I don't know that I deserve it just because I'm a man like me."

I tells him, "I think you deserves it, sir. An' you comin' down here to help folks an' all you was doin'..., I think we oughta be grateful. I sho' is."

He jus' looked at me fo' a few seconds like he was thinkin'. I saw him look down some like he was checkin' me out a little. I figure he was wonderin' how grateful I was gonna be, but maybe he too much of a gen'leman to say somethin'.

I says, "I mean, I know I ain't so pretty as Cee Cee, but I can take real good care o' you. I'd be... honored... if you'd let me."

He looked surprised, but I saw he was gettin' hard in his pants.

He says, "Do you mean that?"

I says, "Yes, sir, I do."

I waited for a few seconds, but he ain't say nothin' more. He jus' looked at me, kinda smilin'. I figured I should jus' do what I was sayin' I was gonna do. I got down on my knees in front of him an' looked up at him. He didn't say nothin'. He jus' kep' lookin' down at me.

He had to know what I was gonna do an' he ain't stop me, so I kep' goin'. I undid his belt an' his pants an' pulled 'em down enough to get his dick out. It was pretty big an' hard. I wrapped my hand 'round it an' put it in my mouth an' started suckin' on it, still lookin' up at him to see if he like what I was doin'. I could tell by the look on his face that he did.

After a bit I started strokin' his dick wit' the tip inside my mouth. I kep' my eyes on him to make sure he was still likin' it. I felt his balls twitch an' he shot off in my mouth. I never let none o' it leak out o' my lips, neither. I swallowed it all an' even used my hand to squeeze it all out o' his dick 'fore I leaned back an took it out o' my mouf. I kissed the tip an' then jus' stayed there on my knees at his feet.

I smiled at him an' says, "I hope I done good fo' you, Mister Allen."

He reached down an' put his hand on my head an' says, "You did great. That was fantastic."

Havin' his hand on my head made me feel kinda like a dog gettin' petted. It made my coochie jump.

I says, "I's glad you liked it, sir. I 'preciate you lettin' me suck on yo' dick like that. It was a honor."

Mister Allen pulled up his pants an' sat hisself down on this big ol' chair. I never felt like a nigga slut mo' 'n right that second an' it felt good. It felt right bein' on my knees at a white man's feet. His feet. I didn't want it to end.

I tol him, "I been wantin' that fo' a long time. A real long time."

He says, "I had no idea. I knew you were a sweet, sexy, respectful girl. But I never dreamed you felt this way."

I says, "I guess I's too shy to say nothin' 'til now. What with you leavin', I knowed I ain't have no mo' chances..."

He says, "I'm glad you did, Betty. Believe me, I would have gone after you under other circumstances. The thing is, I didn't come down here to look for women. I came down here to help out with Angie at the legal aid office. I liked you and found you very attractive. But, I didn't feel right about hitting on you or anything like that, seeing as how you're Angie's sister. I had a good idea how she'd react to that."

I says, "Yeah, Angie woulda freaked out, that's fo' sho. Jus' like she done seein' you wit' Cee Cee."

He says, "Exactly."

I says, "Angie was already givin' me shit fo' talkin' to you the way I done. She be askin' why I keep callin' you 'Mister Allen' like you is some kinda boss man. She be askin' why I act like a damn maid fo' you like we was runnin' some kinda hotel. I jus' tol' her I do it 'cause I like to an' it ain't none o' her business no how so she might as well jus' knock it off."

He says back, "I kind of wondered about it myself, but I wasn't going to ask about it since I was enjoying it so much. Like I said, you gave me a great deal of pleasure treating me so well. But, I'm still curious about what you got out of it."

I ain't think there's gonna be a better time to say the rest, so I figured I might as well do it.

I tol' him, "When I's in junior high, we read 'bout slavery in history class an' I seen movies 'bout them times. The slave owners used to say how they slaves was like kids what needed the white man to look after 'em. They says how the slaves was really happy 'cause the white man took good care of 'em. Now, I knows that was all bullshit an' them slaves had it real bad. Slaves got worked hard an' beat bad an' even worse. Them slave owners could be cruel an' downright evil. No way I'd be wantin' to be no slave like that."

He jus' sat there listenin' to me, so I went on, "Thing is, I used to think 'bout what it'd be like bein' a happy slave wit' a white man takin' care o' me. I ain't have to worry 'bout nothin' 'cept for cookin' an' cleanin' and takin' care o' all my owner's needs. I used to... you know... touch myself thinkin' 'bout how my owner be usin' me if I like it or not. Course, I always liked it."

"I knows it weren't like that at all back then, but I think 'bout what if it was now. Maybe I ain't no slave, but still I got a white man takin' care o' me that way. He make sure I got a roof over my head, an' a bed to sleep in, an' food to eat, an' clothes to wear. I'd be takin' care o' him, too. I'd get up an' fix his breakfast an' get him ready for the day. While he was gone to work, I'd be cleanin' an' cookin' so his dinner be ready when he come home an' he ain't gotta worry 'bout none o' that.

"When I think of how it would be, I think 'bout how else I'd be takin' care o' him, too. I'd be ready for him in the mornin in case he wanted some when he got up. Maybe when he takin' a shower, I'd help wash him an' get him off if he wanted me to. At night, when he come home, I'd be waitin' fo' him on my knees, naked, an' ready fo' use.

He still ain't say nothin' an' I started thinkin' that maybe I was sayin' too much, so I says, "I guess that sounds kinda crazy, don't it? Real people ain't live like that. I guess I got carried away tellin' you all this 'cause I ain't never say it out loud 'fore now."

Finally, he speaks up an' says, "It doesn't sound crazy to me. In fact, it sounds pretty good."

I was hopin' he wouldn't think bad about me fo' what I said, but I ain't know he'd like it.

I tol' him, "I knows you come down here wit' Angie to help black folks get treated right an' I know Angie'd be thinkin' I's crazy for wantin' to serve some white man that way. I's 'fraid you'd think there's somethin' wrong wit' me fo' wantin' that. But, you was likin' me actin' that way so much, so I ain't sure what to think."

He thought for a second an' said, "Even though I was raised to not judge people by the color of their skin and I believe that no one is any better than anyone else, the idea of a devoted, respectful, black girl living to serve me is very attractive to me. It's been a fantasy of mine for a long time. It never occurred to me that there'd actually be a black girl who had the same interest."

I says, "So, you'd want a nigga like me servin' you that way fo' real?"

He says, "I wouldn't call you that, Betty. I wouldn't use a hurtful word towards anyone, let alone such a sweet girl as yourself."

I says, "It ain't always hurtful, sir. I mean, if some cracker asshole called me a nigga on the street, I'd be goin' upside his head! But, if I was alone wit' a fine white man like you an' he said "spread them legs, nigga", I'd do what he said an' love it. Cause I's that kind o' nigga, sir. The kind what wants to please a fine white man like you. I like hearin' him tell me what I am 'cause it gets me all fired up."

He got a little red in the face an' said, "I see what you mean..."

I saw his pants was bulgin' again so I knowed his dick was startin' to get hard an' I got the feelin' he liked hearin' me talk like that even if he was embarrassed by it.

I smiles an' says, "I wanna be yo' nigga, sir. Jus' like I was tellin' you. I wanted to be a white man's nigga since junior high an' I wanted to be yo' nigga since you come to stay wit' us."

I could see Mister Allen's hard on right through his pants. I was happy to be gettin' him heated up.

I goes on, "You like me bein' a nigga fo' you, sir? 'Cause I love doin' it. I loved suckin' yo' dick. I'd love fo' you to fuck me right now, sir. You ain't gotta say nothin', neither. I's jus' a nigga so you can go 'head an' stick yo' dick in me an' do what you want."

He was real fired up now. I was thinkin' I was close to gettin' his nature overrulin' his brain like he said happened wit' Cee Cee.

I tol' him, "You wanna see what I gots fo' you, sir? I wanna show you if you ain't mind."

He jus' sat there lookin' at me wit'out sayin' nothin'. His dick was makin' a tent in his pants an' it looked like it was sayin' go 'head to me, so I did. I pulled my shirt off an' unhooked my bra.

It was embarrassin' takin' it off 'cause my big ol' tits jus' kinda flopped out. I started feelin' all shy an' couldn't look at him right away, but when I looked up I could see him starin' at my tits an' the bulge in his pants was movin' like his dick was twitchin'. I couldn't help smilin' knowin' he liked 'em even though they was so saggy.

I ain't even ask him nothin' 'for I undid my jeans an' pushed 'em down to my knees 'long wit' my panties. He jus' kep' lookin' at what I's showin' him.

I got off my knees long 'nough to get my pants all the ways off an' sat back on the floor. I opened up my legs wide so he could see everythin' I had fo' him. I knowed I weren't no cute skinny girl like Cee Cee, but I was gettin' the idea he liked a nigga wit' big tits an' a fat black ass even better. I leaned back an' smiled all sweet at him like a big dumb slutty bitch nigga.

I says, "I's all yours, boss. You can use me all you want."

He stands up an' takes his pants down. His dick was standin' straight out. He got down 'tween my legs an' jammed his dick up in my hole. It was pretty big, but it ain't hurt too much seein' as how I was soakin' wet. Havin' him inside me felt good, too. I been wantin' him like this fo' so long an' now it was happenin'. I started talkin' the words I used to be thinkin' when I was gettin' myself off.

I tol' him, "It's yo' coochie now, sir. Fuck it hard. I's a nigga so you ain't gotta be gentle. It's all yours, boss."

He pounded the shit out of me, too. Right there on the damn floor. I ain't never been fucked so hard 'fore then, but I ain't never had no white man fuckin' me like I was a nigga 'fore, neither.

I asked him, "You ain't mind me talkin' this way, do you, boss?"

He kinda grunted, "I like it..."

I went on, "You like fuckin' yo' nigga's hole, right, boss? You own it, sir. You own my nigga coochie."

He jus' kinda said, "Fuck."

He shot off all up inside me so hard I could feel his seed comin' out. I's su'prised seein' as how he jus' got finished shootin' off when I was suckin' his dick a little while before.

I kinda whispered, "Thank you fo' cummin' in my hole, sir. You is too good to this nigga. Thank you, boss."

I jus' lay there wit' him on top o' me an' his dick in my hole. After a bit, he got up an' pulled up his pants an' looked down at me. I knowed his spunk was leakin' out o' my hole an' I figured I had to look like a used ho, but if Mister Allen liked lookin' at me like that, I was gonna jus' stay like that fo' him.

At last, he says, "You're an incredible girl, Betty. I've thought those words, but I never thought I'd hear them spoken by such a hot... nigger."

Hearin' him say it made my coochie jump. I jus' kinda smiled up at him an' says, "Thank you, Mister Allen, sir. I's glad you liked it."

He reached his hand out to me an' says, "Let's get you up off the floor."

Mister Allen helped me get up on my feet. I could feel his spunk goin' down my leg. He sat back on the chair, lookin' at me standin' there all naked fo' him. He ain't say nothin', jus' kep' lookin'. Course, I ain't mind him lookin' an' I's ready to jus' stand there long as he wanted.

Finally, he says, "What you were saying before..., about being taken in and cared for and being a... nigger for a white man... That was just a fantasy you were telling me about, right?"

My heart started poundin' hearin' that an' I answered quick, "Up to now, yes, sir. But I meant it when I says how I wanted it fo' real. Well, so long as the white man was you, Mister Allen."

He kep' lookin' at me an' says, "I should tell you that a lecturer at a state college doesn't make very much. I've got a one bedroom apartment and that's about it. I'm also pretty busy. Between the classes I teach and the work I'm doing writing my dissertation, I don't have much free time.

I tol' him, "I ain't care 'bout that, sir. I's happy to sleep on the floor. Maybe you be havin' mo' free time wit' me doin' all the cookin' an' cleanin'. But, I ain't mind 'bout that, neither."

He says, "You'll have to tell your sisters."

I started smilin' an' asked him, "Is you gonna take me home wit' you, sir?"

He smiles back an' says, "That's right. I want you to come home with me and be my nigger."

I says, "Yes, sir, boss. It'll be a honor to be yours."

*       *       *

"That was a long time ago," continued Betty. "But I ain't never forget any of it. I been his nigga ever since."

"I didn't know it could happen like that in real life," said Julia, gently rocking in her chair. "I been thinkin' it's jus' a fantasy."

"Nope," said Betty. "If you lucky, you can live it fo' real."

"How did you tell your sisters?" asked Julia.

"Well, I ain't actually tell 'em everythin'," answered Betty. "'specially not Angie. She jus' knows I's livin' wit' the perfesser. She ain't know I's his nigga. It's funny 'cause if it weren't fo' her bringin' him down there, I ain't never got to meet him. An', if she ain't get pissed an' tell him to leave, I ain't never had to tell him how I felt. So, if weren't fo' Angie, I ain't be no white man's nigga now."

"What about Cee Cee?" Julia wanted to know.

"Cee Cee..., well, I'll tell you 'bout her some other time," smiled Betty. "That's a whole 'nother story. Right now, I gots to get unpacked."

Betty got to her feet and picked up a suitcase. Julia picked up the other one and followed her upstairs to her room. After depositing the suitcase inside the door, the colored girl went about her routine of getting laundry together and cleaning the bathroom.

Julia was a little disappointed that Professor Allen wasn't going to be stopping by to watch her laboring. Knowing what she did about him now, the colored girl was wanting to put on an even more over the top show for him than she had already. Betty's story had her pretty worked up and she was craving even more objectifying use than she'd experienced the day before. Perhaps she'd get what she wanted later that day when the professor returned home.


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