Danessa's Faded Star | Neal's Home Page | ASSTR Home Page
CAUTION: This story is not politically correct. It includes the humiliation and degradation of willing and maybe not so willing black women. The "n" word is used liberally.
by Neal
It was getting dark out, but the heat in the apartment was still oppressive. Somewhere outside the open window a car alarm went off. Danessa had already started to wonder what was taking her mother so long to return from work at the hotel. It was unlike Natalie to be so late.
Danessa went to the window and saw a taxi pulling up to the curb. She was surprised to see Natalie getting out since her mother always took the bus home from work. Heading to the door, she began unlocking the three dead-bolts that stood between the apartment and the outside world.
Natalie reached the top of the stairs just as Danessa got the door open. She couldn't help but notice that her mother didn't seem as weary as she usually did upon her return from work.
"What happened?" asked Danessa. "Are you okay? I saw the taxi... You ain't sick or nothin'?"
"Let me git inside, girl!" replied Natalie. "I gotta catch my breath first."
Danessa closed the door once her mother was inside. Natalie sat in the big chair with the slip-cover on it.
"I got somethin', too, mama," started Danessa nervously. "I know how you feel 'bout Londa. But, I went wit' her on a photo shoot. Before you say somethin', no, I ain't pose or git naked or nothin' like that. I jus' watched what they was doin' wit' her."
"Anyways," she continued, "the head white boy there tol' me they'd pay me fifteen thousand dollars jus' to let them make a video of me. They said it only take fifteen minutes to do it. That's a thousand dollars a minute, mama! We could move out o' this dump ass apartment an' live somewhere nicer."
"Uh huh," Natalie replied skeptically. "Jus' what are them white boys gonna do wit' you that be worth that kinda money?"
"Well...," blushed Danessa. "Take off my top... An' let 'em... well... jerk off in my face."
"Jerk of in yo' face!" exclaimed Natalie. "That's nasty, girl! You think you gonna get a actin' job after yo' face is all over that computer web with some fools spunk all over it? Anybody see that be thinkin' you ain't nothin' but a slut ho!"
"It ain't that bad," protested Danessa. "I seen Londa do it. It ain't bother her none."
"Londa ain't mind if some fool piss on her if'n he gave her twen'y dollars fo' it!" countered Natalie. "When you have some fool shoot his spunk out o' his damn pecker all in yo' face, then you be knowing what it's like. It be nasty. It be degradin'. It be yo' face, girl! Who's gonna wanna see you pretendin' to be a decent woman on TV when they done seen you wit' spunk drippin' off yo' face like some kinda ho!"
"How would you know, mama?" asked Danessa, hands on her hips. "You wasn't there."
"Child, child, child," sighed Natalie, shaking her head. "I know too well. Way 'fore you was born I was up fo' some part on a soap opera. Some kinda stewardess or somethin'."
"Anyways, I's all done up in this dark blue uniform when they call me in the producer's office. I ain't never met him before. I was thinkin' he gonna offer me the part. I think I did better 'n the other girl they had tryin' out fo' it.
"So, he asks me, jus' how bad do I want the part.
"I tells him I want it bad. That's why I done my best fo' the audition.
"Next thing I knows, he's got his pants down wit' his nasty ass pecker in his hand. "Come here an' show me how bad you want it, nigger," he says.
"Nigger! He thinks that 'cause he's white an' he's got the power that he can be callin' me nigger! But, he be right 'bout that. If'n I want that part, I gotta take it.
"So, I gits down on my knees an' take his nasty pecker in my hand. Well, I guess he be pretty fired up already, 'cause he done shot off right after I pulled on it a little. He got his nasty spunk all in my face an' hair an' even on the blue jacket fo' the uniform!
"He kinda laughs an' says "sorry 'bout that" while he zippin' hisself back up. There I is, kneelin' on the damn floor wit' a load a spunk drippin' off my face like I's some kinda cheap ass ho!
"I tried to wipe it off 'fore I went back out, but I ain't seen what was on the jacket. Course other peoples saw it. I saw the looks on their faces an' I knowed they knowed.
"I been humiliated plenty o' times in some castin' director or producer's office. I had to do some nasty things to git parts in this town. It ain't right, but it's how it is. But, that time, everybody knowed it. I's so shamed that I couldn't never face none o' them again.
"An' now, you tellin' me it ain't so bad," Natalie concluded. "You don't know. But you ain't gonna jus' have a room full o' peoples seein' yo' shame. You gonna have everybody on the whole damn computer web seein' it. Seein' it an' jerkin' off to it. You sho' you want that?"
"I don't know," replied Danessa. "I ain't know 'bout what happened to you. I know you say how you had to do things you ain't proud of. I kinda guess it meant you had to sleep wit' directors an' producers. I ain't know they did anythin' like that."
"Now you know, girl," said Natalie. "Some is nastier 'n others. But, they all 'bout usin' a girl. 'Specially a colored girl. That fool weren't even sorry for what he done. He jus' wanted to bust his damn nut. He ain't give a shit if he done it in my face. Hell, I bet he liked it better that way. Puttin' a nigga' in her place. I ain't gotta tell you I ain't get the part."
Danessa felt a tingle in her pussy in reaction to Natalie's story. She felt a little ashamed that she enjoyed the image of her mother on her knees with some powerful man standing over her.
"Did that happen alot?" Danessa wanted to know.
"Not like that," replied Natalie. "Not all the time. If you ain't somebody an' you want a part in a movie or a TV show an' you runs into a director or producer who wants a li'l somethin', then you gotta give it up or forgit 'bout it."
Natalie had never told her daughter the details of any of her humiliating experiences on the casting couch before now. Now that Danessa was grown, she figured there was no reason to keep them from her. Especially now with the proposition she had from Roger Gray.
"Now it's yo' turn, Nessa," Natalie began. "I got a call from Mister Kincaid today at work. Somebody gots a project an' they be wantin' to look at you fo' the main character. His name's Roger Gray. I ain't never heard o' him, but he's some kind o' big time producer."
"He had me go up to his place to talk to him 'bout it," she continued. "He's makin' a movie. A historical drama 'bout a girl growin' up. He ain't wanna say more 'n that. He even say they need somebody to be playin' the girl's mama an' maybe he wants me to do it."
"Mama!" exclaimed Danessa. "That's great!"
"He do say it got nude scenes an' sex scenes," Natalie told her. "An' you be doin' 'em."
"Sex scenes!" Danessa responded. "You tellin' me you'd be in some movie wit' sex scenes! You was jus' tellin' me about havin' my picture all up on the internet an' how I can't get no actin' job no more then."
"He did say it ain't nothin' nasty or nothin' like that," replied Natalie. "So it's diff'rent from some porno like Londa wants you to be doin'. It ain't the same thing at all."
"So you'd let me do that?" asked Danessa. "Be in a movie like that?"
"I can't let you do nothin' no more, Nessa," said Natalie. "You a growed woman now. Accordin' to the law, you a adult now. I can tell you that I think this Mister Gray is legit an' I be in his movie if he wanted me to be. But, it's up to you."
"Is there a audition?" Danessa wanted to know.
"That's another thing," Natalie replied. "What he wants ain't no reg'lar audition. He wants you to audition for the part playin' Li'l Nessa."
"I ain't get it," Danessa was puzzled. "He wants me to audition for the Li'l Nessa part?"
"No," said Natalie. "He wants Li'l Nessa to be auditionin' for this part in the movie. The main character starts off young, like Li'l Nessa. He wants to see if you can pass for a girl Li'l Nessa's age. He wants you to be actin' like you was that old when tryin' out fo' the part.
"Is that all?" said Danessa. "That ain't hard. I kin do that."
"No, that ain't all," Natalie informed her. "He's gonna wanna see yo' stuff, girl. He's gonna tell you to show it off. You gonna have to do it like Li'l Nessa would. All bashful an' shy, but you still gonna have to do it."
"Huh?!" exclaimed Danessa. "Show off my stuff! You mean like git naked fo' him?!"
"An' act like you was Li'l Nessa while you be doin' it," said Natalie.
"Is Mister Gray some kinda perv?" Danessa asked. "What kinda man wants to see a girl that old naked?"
"The kinda man who got a movie part fo' you an' fo' yo' mama," replied Natalie. "That's what kind."
Danessa was shocked. She couldn't believe her mother would suggest that she do what this Roger Gray wanted. Natalie felt a little guilty about trying to convince her daughter to go through with this audition performance. But, the chance to be in a movie made it tempting for both of them.
"Ain't you jus' tell me how you... you know... did what some producer wanted an' you ain't even get the part?" asked Danessa. "How do we know that ain't gonna happen this time?"
"Plenty o' times I got the part, girl," Natalie assured her. "I weren't sure I ever be tellin' you these stories. But, you gotta know what happens an' what you gotta do sometimes."
"When I went for that nurse part on Doctor Place," Natalie started the story. "I wanted it bad, Nessa. Real bad."
"I been in Hollywood fo' almost a year an' ain't got nothin' yet. I was 'bout ready to give up an' go back home an' work on the farm 'til some fool married me an' then make babies an' then work on the farm some mo'.
"There was a couple dozen girls up fo' the part. They call us in one by one. I been through that before, so I kinda expected I'd be puttin' out. I was jus' the third girl they was gonna look at.
"I went in to the castin' director's office. He was some kinda skinny ass white man. He had me read some from the script. After a few minutes, I put the script down an' look him in the eye.
"I tells him how I knowed how these auditions worked. I tells him if he wanna fuck my black ass then he better be ready to give me that part.
"He looked all surprised an' shit. I figure it he's puttin' on some kinda act 'cause I saw through his game. So, I reach up under the nurse outfit they got me in an' pull my panties off. Then I pulls up that white skirt so he can see my coochie an' I asks him if I git the part. He jus' stares at my crotch an gets all red in the face.
"He says yeah, I git the part. So I says, then come an' git it.
"I bent over his desk wit' my legs open an' flipped that white skirt up over my back. Well, I ain't gotta say nothin' more 'n that. Next thing I knowed, he's got his pecker up in me an' he's humpin' on me like crazy. Ain't take but half a minute an' he's done.
"Mama!" exclaimed Danessa. "You didn't! I can't believe you be lettin' some man have sex wit' you like that!"
"Believe it, girl," Natalie responded. "It weren't the first time an' it weren't the last."
"But, you got that part, right?" Danessa wanted to know.
"I sho' did," replied Natalie.
Of course, Natalie didn't tell Danessa that later she learned that the producer had already told the casting director that he wanted her for the nurse's role so long as she sounded okay in the reading. The part was already pretty much hers to lose. She fucked him for nothing.
Danessa considered her mother's story. Once again, the image of her mother bent over for some man she didn't even like had her pussy tingling. She was a little ashamed at feeling that way, but Natalie didn't seem to mind telling her the story.
"So you think I should do it?" asked Danessa. "It'd be embarrassin' to have to get naked fo' some strange man. I ain't sure I can do it. Maybe if I knowed fo' sho' I's gonna be in the movie..."
"Well, Nessa," Natalie countered, "there is the money. Mister Gray gonna give us twen'y five hun'red dollars if you do."
"Wait a minute...," stammered Danessa. "So you sayin' this movie part gonna pay twen'y five hun'red dollars?"
"No," answered Natalie. "That's how much he gonna pay fo' the audition. You gettin' a better deal 'n I ever got, girl. When I was auditionin' like that, I ain't get nothin' fo' it. Sometimes I got the part. But I ain't never get paid shit fo' no audition. No matter what I done fo' it."
Danessa pondered the possibilities. She desperately wanted to act again. Just being in a single film could easily be enough to get her career jump started. She knew they needed the money bad and it would be nice to not be broke. She'd already been considering making a porno and this was much less unsavory than that. Finally, her mother seemed to want her to do it. It was a chance for Natalie to act again, too
"Okay," said Danessa finally. "I'll do it. When is it?"
"I'll have to call Mister Gray," Natalie replied. "He say he got other girls goin' fo' this part, so I guess he gotta schedule it in. But, we kin start gittin' ready now. We gots to make it so he wants us even more an' forgit 'bout them other girls."
"Showin' my stuff off to him ain't enough?" asked Danessa. "What else I gotta do?"
"You gotta play the part," explained Natalie. "An' so do I. Mister Gray's the kinda white man who jus' loves colored girls. An', wit' him, it's even more 'n that. What he likes best is niggas."
"He say that?" Danessa asked. "He say that word?"
"He ain't say it hateful, girl," answered Natalie. "For him, a nigga is a colored girl who likes makin' white folks happy an' doin' what they say."
"You mean actin' like his slave!" objected Danessa.
"No," said Natalie. "Actin' like you wanna please him. A man like him is gonna 'preciate that. There's worse things 'n havin' a man enjoyin' you an' 'preciatin' you. Sometimes I wish that's all I be havin' to do. Then I ain't be worryin' 'bout nothin' else. I thought actin' would do that fo' me, an' maybe it still can."
"So you sayin' you want me to be a nigga fo' him?" asked Danessa skeptically. "Be all 'yes suh' an' shit?"
"That's right, girl," Natalie answered. "But like you mean it. That's what actin' 's about. An' now, you gonna be a nigga fo' Mister Gray. That's yo' role. An' if you do good, you gonna be in his movie. We both gonna be in his movie."
Danessa was a little more than annoyed that she'd be expected to perform in this degrading audition. It wasn't fair that she'd be debasing herself for this white man she hadn't met. She already was thinking that Mister Gray was some kind of pervert no matter what Natalie said.
"Ain't you gonna audition, too?" Danessa wanted to know. "Ain't you gonna hafta be a nigga fo' him?"
"I already did, girl," replied Natalie. "Where you think I been so late?"
"You did?" Danessa responded skeptically. "What kinda audition? A nigga audition? You got naked fo' him?"
"That's right," confirmed Natalie unabashedly. "A nigga audition. Mister Gray tol' me a li'l 'bout the movie an' the part fo' you an' the part fo' me. Then that white man said git naked, an' I got naked. I showed him what he wanted to see."
"I's ready to git naked, mama," Danessa told her. "It's this nigga act you want me to put on. It's humiliatin'! Is you tellin' me you did it?"
In spite of her misgivings, Danessa couldn't deny her physical reaction to the idea. It was nasty and degrading, yes. But something about it had her pussy tingling again. Especially the image of her mother being ordered out of her clothes and made to display her nakedness for this man.
"I said I did," replied Natalie. "I know the part an' I played it. That's all it is, Nessa. Play actin'. That's what actresses do. Don't matter what it is. If you want to act in the movie, then you gonna act in the audition. That's how it is."
Danessa was still less than pleased about the nature of the audition. However, she was even less pleased about living in a crappy one bedroom walk-up apartment in the low rent district. If she was ever to get back to where she once was, she had to take whatever chance she had.
"A'right," Danessa gave in. "You win. I'll do it like you say."
"I ain't won shit, girl," said Natalie, irritated. "You'll do it 'cause it's what you gotta do to git what you want. If go in wit' a attitude, it ain't gonna work."
"You right, mama," Danessa agreed. "I know it."
"That's mo' like it, Nessa," smiled Natalie. "It'll be okay."
Natalie was feeling positive about the whole project even if her daughter still had her doubts. She hoped that Danessa's audition would go as well as her own had. Part of it had been acting, like she told the girl. But, in the end, she knew that all she'd had to do was act naturally.
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