|
Back to Raves
|
|
John is a novelist who is stuck for several days in a hotel. While time passes, he plugs away on his computer at the novel he is writing. It turns out that the maid is not only eponymous, but also a cock teaser. The guy who shortens hemlines across the street from the hotel does a thriving business during this story. The teasing is fun, but eventually the masturbation gets out of hand, if ya know what I mean . I understand men often have fantasies like this about hotel maids. Imagine that. This is this author's first story, and I hope to see more. There are some grammar glitches, but nothing really serious. This is a very good story.
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
Celestial Reviews 328 - June 5, 1999
"Dares"
by
Maria Gonzales
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
I had the opportunity of exchanging a few notes with Maria in early April after reading her earlier posted story, "Mall Strut." She said, "English is my second language, so I mess up sometimes : )" In another note she added, "My reading / writing vocabulary is much much larger than my speaking vocabulary is (English anyway, Spanish, it's the opposite)" So, the story of this review, "Dares," is written by a young Latino woman for whom English is not her native tongue. She's done quite well in these early efforts. Disliking the repetitive appearance of "he said" and "she said," Maria essentially does away with them entirely in "Dares." Too, the long, long paragraph formatting as given way to the easier-to-read, shorter-paragraph style, a welcome change. Maria deserves high marks for her grammatical improvements. Does it make it as a sexy story? In part. In fact, if one were to isolate the sexy scenes from the story, they'd be quite steamy. So what's the problem? To put things into perspective, this is a story about high school kids with a rather angry, mean-spirited mentality. The protagonist, Lisa, is blackmailed by Adam, a next door neighbor and former friend. He's angry that Lisa has ignored him and his geek friends and employs rather heavy-handed blackmail threats to force her acquiescence. It has always been difficult for me to enjoy the eroticism of forced or non-consensual sex, particularly when laced with a strong measure of humiliation.. Lisa, who has her own issues, appears not to be so encumbered, for she takes some sexual delight in her one-down position. The juxtaposition of anger/blackmail with uninhibited sexuality plays throughout Maria's story. Some find delight in this theme; I found it off putting. The emotional swings were too wide for comfortable identification. Still, if the target audience is high school students, this may be well received, but I found it a stretch and too immature to be arousing.
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
This is an extremely creative story. After I wrote that sentence, I thought it over and realized that actually, this is one of the oldest stories of all. This is the basic plot of the movie "Indecent Proposal": offer a person enough money, and she'll do anything. Likewise, a common theme in numerous crime stories is that every person has a price: offer the person enough incentives, and he or she will do anything. I think B.F. Skinner applied the same principles to almost all human behavior. Nevertheless, the present rendition of that basic plot is extremely interesting and sexy. Juana is working at a fast food restaurant. Kyle is a rich guy who comes in and offers her fifty bucks for her bra. Soon he is offering her two thousand dollars to go into a bar and return within an hour with money she has obtained by performing a sex act for a bar patron. Juana is a fast learner and earns money rapidly. Not only that, but soon Juana finds herself enjoying her new activities. An important premise of the story is that within just a few hours Juana really likes being a slut. I suspect that if I went back over the story and analyzed it carefully, I'd become skeptical. To put it another way, I doubt that a reasonably "virtuous" young woman in real life would take the pride and enthusiasm in her work that Juana did. Having said that, I want you to notice that I didn't dock the author any points for this "shortcoming." I suppose that means the fantasy is a really good one.
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
I've learned to expect creativity from this author, and this story did not disappoint me. In this case, we get to see this story about a quickie between a girl on a motorcycle and a guy in a Viper from three different points of view - the author's, the narrator's, and the characters'. The story is carefully annotated, so that readers can easily skip the sexy parts and read only about the actual motorcycle and car trips. However, I'm not sure many readers will want to do that.
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
The narrator has lost a bet with her husband, and so she has to do what he wants her to do for a whole day. Had she won, he would have been painting and doing all kinds of chores around the house. But she lost, and now she's spending her day at the mall, looking like a whore and playing the role of a slut. Surprisingly to her, but not to those of us who read alt.sex.stories and subscribe to the "inner slut" school of pop psychology, she enjoys playing this game. It's Chicken Soup for the Slut's Soul, if sluts have souls. So hubby slips her instructions at the mall, which she follows, while taking time off to get propositioned by the bisexual lady masturbating in the restroom. Understandably, a throng of admirers follow her through her perambulations. Hubby eventually instructs her to accompany some of her admirers to their place for an orgy and then to belatedly accept the invitation of the bisexual from the restroom. At the end of the day, she is thrilled at the new vistas that have opened for her – the opportunity to let the caged animal out and to let her inner slut have its way; and she hopes her husband will do likewise. In short, it's kind of like those x-rated videos that have no plot other than the notion of having as much sex as possible. Maria originally posted this story when I was on hiatus. She precedes this repost with a note that this was an early story that she has revised this story to correct some of its flaws, and she thinks she has learned a lot since then. I agree. Her more recent stories give the characters a lot more character.
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
Officer Felicitas Ramirez is a person of many talents. Officer Frank Williams is her partner. Sometimes it seems that Felicitas really enjoys working the street. Her problem really is that she really does enjoy walking around out there wearing tiny little skirts and having men leer at her. But then Frank falls in love with her, explains to her the difference between true love and sex, and makes tender love to her. It looks like she might get her act together. Some of the sex scenes in this story are good. The problem is that the author tries to integrate a complex personality into a sophisticated plot, but comes up way short. First we have Feli acting naughty as a slut, then naughty but confused as a cop, then getting busted as a slut, then giving a synopsis of her life to her partner, and then falling in love with her partner. The synopsis of the life comes across as an oversimplification, and there is neither a rationale for the changes in her behavior nor many hints regarding why Frank would fall in love with her in the first place. This is the basis for a good story, but it would require a lot more development to reach its potential.
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
The narrator is a battered wife who feels that the only way out is to have someone kill her husband for her. She finds a guy who will do the deed in return for one night with her. There's a surprise twist at the end, but the main feature of this story is its attempt to convey the emotions the wife feels. Although this story is not one you would read to find a sexual high, it does a good job of portraying the woman's feelings.
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
Celestial Reviews 347 – November 24, 1999
"The Interview"
by
Maria Gonzales
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
Apologies to both Celeste and Maria for the month delay in this review. Yolanda Garcia, cub reporter, tries to find the real story behind the retirement of football star Billy Zatcher. They fuck, and Yolanda gets the story. But Billy gets the tape of their dalliance. This is a stroke story with a little plot for icing. The version I saw hadn't been proofread.
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
This is a story about a TV game show called "Everything Goes," where anything goes, including the clothes. The two teams (each consisting of two lewd and lascivious lovely little ladies) will be given dares, and both contestants on each team must satisfy the conditions of each game. The winning team for each dare gets the prize and the losing team must remove one article of clothing. If one contestant decides -- for whatever reason -- that they cannot do the dare, then that team loses, and the other team wins the two million dollars. Maria milks this storyline for all its worth - including solitary sex, lesbian sex, hetero sex, and group sex. Sorry about the omission of dogs and sheep. For a tale with relatively little socially redeeming value, this story really hits the spot. I hesitated - very briefly - to review this story, because it was posted to a private web site rather than to a.s.s.m. I don't want to get involved in turf wars or go to places where I don't really want to go. But since I "knew" Maria, I tossed my concerns aside and took the plunge. Oddly enough, Maria, has her own web site where she claims, "Whenever I finish a story, the first place that I will post it will be here. Then it may be posted either at eroticstories.com or ASSM." Not true. This story was not there.
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
I have something to confess. Whenever the author of this story referred to Melissa or Rebecca wearing cutoffs, I misread the word as handcuffs. Boy! Freud would have my ass for that one! Other than that, I think I understood this story pretty well. I often feel sorry for telemarketers, but not sorry enough for me to learn to like them. I mean, don't those people know that when other people are fortunate enough to have both kids safely out of the house and to be in the throes of passion, the last thing they want to do is talk about aluminum siding or changing to a new long distance provider? But I guess they have to make a living, and jobs are hard to find for people who have no souls. Anyway, the heroine of this story is a telemarketer who has to get one more customer to say yes in order to make her quota. Two things make the story funny - the way our heroine and the customer hit it off and the way the author interjects herself into the story. This interjected commentary has been done before - M1ke Hunt was a genius at it; but this is some of the best erotic humor I have seen in quite a while. Well, except for that story about the Zulu Ricksha boys I reviewed in the last issue. Let me give you some advice about dealing with telemarketers. Don't follow your natural urge to blow a loud whistle in their ear. My husband has a very stupid relative who decided to have some fun with a phone solicitor. The relative spoke really quietly, so that the woman would have to put her ear up against the phone to hear him. Then he put a whistle to his mouth and blew a loud, harsh "squeeeeeeel!" into the phone. Then he yelled, "Leave me alone, you stupid bitch!" and slammed down the phone. He smirked and told his friends, "That'll teach her." Indeed it did. At 3:00 a.m. the next morning the phone rang. He picked it up and heard nothing but "Squeeeeeeel!" His opponent learned so effectively that she would lull him into a false sense of security - even initiate phone sex with him - and then blow the whistle on him. This was in the days before caller ID, and the poor bastard got to where he was afraid to answer the phone. The solution arrived at by mutual consent in the present story was much more gracious.
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
I have drawn a conclusion about this author. Either she (1) has done her research very thoroughly for this story, (2) she is an extremely creative person, or (3) she is a witch herself. I say this because what she describes in this story is EXACTLY the way real witches operate. The judges got it wrong at Salem, and the stuff about brooms and wiggling the nose is baloney. What Maria describes in this story is the most accurate description of real witchcraft that has ever been published. I'd tell you how I know this, but then I'd have to put a curse on you, and you really wouldn't like that at all. To put it briefly, the narrator of this story (Amber/Bunny) is the Pre-Ordained One, who is to lead the other witches in battle against the Unspoken One. That's about it, but it makes a lot more sense in the context of the rest of the story. Let me just comment on one Principle that is exemplified in this story. I call it the Batman Principle, in honor of its main exemplar. Whenever an Evil Villain would overpower Batman and Robin, the villain would set up an elaborate Rube Goldberg device that would kill the Heroes after the Evil Villain had gone his/her way. Inevitably, the Heroes would alter the Rube Goldberg sequence and escape. The Batman Principle has been applied elsewhere, most notably in James Bond movies and in the old Lone Ranger television shows. The earliest known example occurs in Beowulf, and the most recent example occurred during the Republican vendetta against Bill Clinton and the lovely Ms. Lewinsky. In the present case, Amber/Bunny teleports to safety just before she can be eaten for a snack by the rottweilers that the Unspoken One left to carry out her Evil Plan. As you may have guessed, the secret is not to get fucked by a banana.
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
|
Back to Raves
|
|
Evelyn is going to a Christmas party. She's dressed for seduction, but she stops at a toy store to try to purchase a Playstation 2 for her 7-year-old son. She spots the last one, but an S.O.B. swoops down and seizes it in his talons before she can acquire it. Fortunately, she is dressed for seduction. The raptor invites her to dinner to negotiate. She flirts. They negotiate. He agrees to let her buy the Playstation if she'll have dinner with him and grant him one favor in the course of the night -- no sex and no more than 30 seconds. {Incidentally, I just read an article in the NY Times that even "health professionals" vary widely in what they classify as sex. So do presidents of major industrial nations.} Thirty seconds, and he gets to decide when and where. They negotiate. They compromise. She spells areola correctly, and he peeks discreetly. Or was that peaks discretely? They seek arbitration from a gawky teenager. Then two teenagers help her with a stuffed Pikach. They dine and discuss past perversions. Then they have a wonderful, romantic evening together. You'll have to read the story for the details. You'll be glad you did.
|
|
Back to Raves |
|
|
Back to Raves |
|
As our story begins, two young thespians are moping over their inability to become big-time television stars. Meanwhile, Randy Logan has received Santa Claus's personal email address, with a guarantee that his Christmas Wish will be granted. Merge these two thoughts, and you have a sexy Christmas story. What this story does is blend little sex and pop culture into a story about the Best Christmas Ever. It's not going to win my contest, but it's a very nice little story.
|
|
Back to Raves |
|