Dangling By A Thread
Celestial Reviews 345 – November 10, 1999
"Dangling by a Thread" by Lambchop
This is a real cliffhanger – literally, almost. Allen is out on his platform,
washing windows on the high rise building. He leans over a bit to get a better
view of the beautiful Oriental woman masturbating on the sofa, and he comes on
his platform – er, I mean he almost comes off his platform – that is, he is
left hanging there about five miles off the ground. His life is hanging in the
balance – literally.
The woman's name is Nancy Lee, who seems to be a refugee from an Ann Douglas
adventure, except that the window washer with whom she eventually makes love is
neither a teenage girl nor a sexy grandmother.
After he is rescued, Allen is in shock. If this were literally true, Nancy
should dial 911 and have the paramedics come to take care of him. Shock is
serious business. I know this both from a nun back in high school and from a
myopic guest on the Gerry Springer Show. However, I think the author was using
the term loosely, because Nancy decides to cum for Allen herself, and he seems
to be just fine.
This is an excellent story with a happy ending and a moral to it.
Ratings for "Dangling by a Thread"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
Rogue Review No. 462 - November 16, 1999
TITLE: Dangling By A Thread
AUTHOR: Lambchop
LENGTH: 3,200 words
MAIN CHARACTER: Male
COMBINATION(S): Twosome (2 Females)
ORIENTATION(S): Heterosexual (Female)
RELATIONSHIP(S): Strangers
KINK(S): Voyeurism
SETTING(S): Home
GENRE(S): --
CAUTION(S): --
SUMMARY: Allan almost falls to his death, while washing
windows on a skyscraper. That's how the story begins, more
or less.
COMMENTARY: This is a nice story, but I found it somewhat
lacking. The sex is somewhat arousing, but my biggest gripe
with the story is that I felt there was too much telling and
not enough showing. By that I mean that the author seemed
to inform the reader rather than simply describe what was
happening. It can be a fine line, but the difference seems
to me to be that in the latter case the author does not
leave the evidence as open to interpretation as he (in this
case) does in the latter.
I suspect that I may be blowing this whole showing versus
telling thing out of proportion. It is entirely possible
that I am overlooking a true gem of a story. In light of
that, I will point out that this is a romantic story. So,
if you like erotic stories that have a romantic flavour to
them then you may want to give this one a spin.
OBJECTIVE ANALYSIS: 7.0 (out of 10)
- Arousal: 3/5
- Editing: 5/5
- Plot and Characters: 3/5
SUBJECTIVE ANALYSIS: Good
The Beach Was Never Like This!
Celestial Reviews 345 – November 10,
1999
"The Beach Was Never Like This!" by Lambchop
The girls have purchased new swimsuits. They even got a huge discount from the
cute guys who sold them the swimwear. But the joke's on them. Literally. Ya
see, after the suits have been in the water for 15 minutes, they disintegrate,
leaving the wearers stark naked. The guys know this, and so they follow the
girls to the beach and force them to come back to the guys' apartment, where
the girls hope to acquire some clothing and other acoutrements, which can be
spelled two ways, neither of which was my first choice.
But when the girls get to the apartment, the joke is on them again. Literally,
once more. Ya see, the guys have put mind control gas in the ventilation
system, which has actually become a titillation system. So the guys fuck the
girls every which way they can; but no harm, no foul. The girls can't even
remember what happened, and they are likely to fall for the same scam again,
which is fine, because they liked it a lot.
Ratings for "The Beach Was Never Like This! "
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
A Review By Daphne Xu
The Beach Was Never Like This!
By Lambchop
A Review
Lambchop included MC in the codes for this story, and it is a mind-
control story of sorts. I like mind-control stories, and have a
number of ideas myself for stories. Here, the mind control involved
spiking the atmosphere with a powerful aphrodisiac, having the
side effect of inducing forgetfulness.
Two best friends, Sally and Kelly, go to the beach to try out their
great new bikinis they'd just bought the day before. To their
surprise, at the beach, they meet the salesboys who'd sold them
the bikinis.
The salesboys, Brian and John, were couple of geeks with great
physiques. The girls quickly hook up with them and pair off, Kelly
with Brian and Sally with John, and enter the water for fun and games.
The boys' nefarious plot is revealed when the girls' bikinis dissolve
fifteen minutes later. The girls are embarrassed, horrified, and
mortified, because they can't get out of the water without exposing
themselves to the world. But the boys had an extra pair of
(dissolving) bikinis, which the girls, could use on condition that they
go home with them.
The girls agree, and they make it inside the boys' home just in time
as the bikinis dissolve. Once there, the girls are unwittingly exposed
to a powerful aphrodisiac, and they have great sex with the boys, and
later with each other.
The girls forget about it all, except to wonder why they've woken up
naked in each other's arms, and why they lost their new wonderful
bikinis. But they could return to the store...
I think that a couple times, one of the girls (Kelly?) vaguely recognized
the smell of the gas in the air that was affecting them. Would it be
amiss to ask if the boys had had fun with them before?
Also, I imagine the bikinis to be so skimpy, that it wouldn't be that much
more for the girls to simply walk off the beach nude and return to their
car. However, it's been pointed out that the forbidden or exotic attracts
the guys' attention. In a nudist resort, a girl wearing skimpy clothes
might be ogled by the men. The prim and proper Janey once told how,
on the beach occupied by lots of bikini-clad babes, she was leaving the
beach wearing a long skirt, and surreptitiously let one leg out of the long
slit up one side as she walked. She attracted considerable attention.
So the absence of the bikinis might make all the difference in the world.
The author attempted to establish character distinctions between the
two boys and between the two girls. I'm afraid it didn't work. Between
the girls, Sally was the optimist and Kelly the worrier. Between the boys,
Brian was the optimist and John the worrier. The distinctions were made
much too explicitly, and unfortunately, they were irrelavent to the plot.
There were no other real distinctions that I noticed, although I'm excellent
at missing subtle, implied issues. I did notice that the worriers were
mixed rather than matched.
I noticed a few technical problems. Occasionally, a few punctuation
marks were left out, such as a quotation mark here and there. I've for-
gotten most that caught my eye, and I'm not inclined to go back and
search them out.
As is anything by Lambchop, this was a good story.
-- Daphne (With plenty more to read and review -- as well as write)
Strip Darts
No posted reviews. This was my first story.
Celestial Reviews #311: December 1, 1998
"Learning to Love Again" by Lambchop
The story title says it all.
This story begins with a beautifully written love scene between Harry
and his wife, Susan. You can feel how comfortable they are with each
other and their desire. This scene is filled with descriptive phrases
like - "Susan's mouth was pounding away at his cock like a jackhammer
ripping up a street" and if that isn't visual enough for you then how
about - " Her nipples looked like the heart of a miniature rose blushing
scarlet with excitement. They called out to him and his mouth obeyed."
And this is just a warm up of things to come. [pun intended]
Then suddenly Harry wakes up and we find that the beginning was only a
dream - a dream so vivid that it could have happened yesterday but it
had been 8 years since Susan died. He hadn't been able to find anyone to
replace Susan and maybe it wasn't possible -- maybe he just couldn't
bring himself to do it. Harry becomes an open book to us -- his
emotions are very real.
In the present, Harry was living for their daughter, Melissa and this
brings him to "every parents dread" -- Open School Night. Interestingly
enough, Melissa's teacher turns out to be what he's been (or not been)
searching for -- he just didn't know it yet.
I admit, this story is sappy and the ending is very corny but that is
part of its charm. The sex is steamy, descriptive and very satisfying.
It's extremely well written with beautiful imagery and the characters
are down to earth and fairly believable. You'll find yourself wiggling
in your chair, which I always consider a very good thing.
The only problem I had with this story was in the beginning after
learning that the dream scene was a dream. It doesn't make sense that
Harry is dreaming it but we read about Susan's emotions. Knowing the
feeling and emotions on each side is important but in this story, where
the majority of it is from Harry's viewpoint, it's distracting.
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) MF / Romance
~> Athena (Technical & Grammar) 9
~> Venus (Plot and Character) 10
~> Miss Behavin' (Appeal) 10
Rogue Review No. 395 - June 16, 1999
TITLE: Learning to Love Again
AUTHOR: Lambchop
LENGTH: 4,000 words
MAIN CHARACTER: Male
COMBINATION(S): Twosome (1 Female, 1 Male)
ORIENTATION(S): Heterosexual (Female, Male)
RELATIONSHIP(S): Married Couple
Parent-Teacher
KINK(S): --
SETTING(S): Home
GENRE(S): --
CAUTION(S): --
SUMMARY: With some help from his daughter's teacher, Harry gets
over losing Susan, his wife.
COMMENTARY: This is a very arousing story. The author does a
nice job of showing rather than telling the reader what each of
the characters are experiencing. I actually found the opening
scene so arousing that when the scene comes to a sudden stop I
had a hard time focusing on the seriousness of the next scene.
This is a well written story. The author does a nice job of
tossing the point of view back and forth between Harry and Susan
and then later between Harry and Colleen, his daughter's teacher.
One problem that I did have with this story was the shift in mood
from the first scene to the second one. It happens rather
abruptly. The second scene also felt wedged in between the first
and third scenes, as if the author included it only because he
had to.
On the whole I like this story. It is well written and very
arousing. I think it should appeal to those who like stories
that are of a romantic flavor. I have given it a Very Good.
OBJECTIVE ANALYSIS: 8.5 (out of 10)
- Arousal: 4/5
- Editing: 5/5
- Plot and Characters: 4/5
SUBJECTIVE ANALYSIS: Very Good
Kristen's review of: {Lambchop} Learning
to Love Again (MF Rom)
"And they did get married, and although it may sound corny, they all lived
happily ever after."
That says it all. A romantic poignant story about a widower and his longings.
He loved his wife and misses her, but eventually has to move on. If you like
romantic, sad to happy stories, you'll like this one. This is Lambchop's second
published story.
I'd send you a link to my archive, but asstr isn't up right now. But the story
has just shown up on moderated if you'd like to read it.
Kristen
Celestial Reviews 317 – February 28,
1999
"Bringing Home the Boss" by Lambchop Reviewed by Homer
Vargas
Leslie's husband John has lost interest in her, preferring
football on Cable
TV to sex, although she is still quite a bomb (says Leslie). She goes out for
a drink with her boss, Sharon, for whom she discovers some sexual attraction,
and reveals her problem. Sharon has just the solution. The two women will go
to Leslie's house and come on to John, relying on the Coolidge Effect to
rekindle the flame. (Don't know what the Coolidge Effect is? See below.)
This idea works fine according to Lambchop. John eats Sharon to orgasm while
Leslie sucks Sharon's tits and then blows John. subsequently Sharon eats
Leslie to orgasm by which time ex-football fan John is ready at last to fuck
his wife. Everyone lives happily ever after except the cable company which
looses a customer.
Leslie is believable, Sharon is a fantasy, and John is a caricature. A few NYC
details simulate realism, but the story just does not work for me. Any man
that had really lost interest in a woman like Leslie would need more intense
therapy than a little threesome fun one night.
Athena 10 (No distractions AND two spaces between sentences)
Venus 7 (No logical flaws in the plot, but implausible as a realistic story
and weak characters.)
Homer 6
Rogue Review No. 374 - May 18, 1999
TITLE: Bringing Home the Boss
AUTHOR: Lambchop
LENGTH: 3,700 words
MAIN CHARACTER: Female
COMBINATION(S): Threesome (2 Females, 1 Male)
ORIENTATION(S): Heterosexual (Male, Female)
Homosexual (Female)
RELATIONSHIP(S): Married Couple
Employer-Employee
KINK(S): --
SETTING(S): Home
CAUTION(S): --
SUMMARY: Leslie has become a workaholic. John, her husband, has
become a couch potato. Sharon, her boss, comes up with a plan to
resolve her employee's marital problems.
COMMENTARY: This is a rather direct story, but I still found
myself aroused by it. The author does a great job showing the
evolution of Leslie's feelings as she goes from despair to shock
to arousal at the proposal her boss makes. This is a very
arousing story.
This is a well paced story. It is obvious where the story is
going from early on, but it is still a fun ride. The characters
are more than adequate for this sort of story. Each was clearly
defined and more than just a body. It would have been nice if
there was a little more to the plot, but over all this is a well
written story.
I enjoyed reading this story. It is both well written and very
arousing. This is more of a male fantasy than a female one, so I
may be somewhat biased. This is an Excellent story.
OBJECTIVE ANALYSIS: 8.5 (out of 10)
- Arousal: 4/5
- Editing: 5/5
- Plot and Characters: 4/5
SUBJECTIVE ANALYSIS: Excellent
[Review lite] What David Thinks - 10
Bringing Home The Boss (FFM) by Lambchop
This was fun. The story was sexy enough that I was able to ignore the idea
that a wife bringing home another woman would save her marriage. Beyond that,
I liked this story. Technically well done, pretty good writing style, pretty
steamy sex.
Leslie’s husband John got cable and now just watches TV. Her boss Sharon
suggests that she help Leslie get her husband off cable and back into the
bedroom. She does this by joining them for a night of hot sex. The sex is
well done, except for one point where John is left out for a few minutes (I
kept wondering, what’s he doing? Just watching? That should have been
stated). I also think that it might take more for a woman to suddenly become
a bisexual than a few stiff drinks.
I’m being picky here, though. It was a well-written story which flowed nicely
from beginning to end. And I think it passes my criteria for being fun as
well. A good job, and a fun time had by all.
A Review By Daphne Xu
Bringing Home the Boss
By Lambchop
A Review
This story is short, sweet, and simple. Leslie's sex life with her
husband of six years has gone to pot, and her husband John spends all
his time on the TV. She works until late at night, at her computer
company depressed about it. Her manager Sharon has noticed her
depression. Over drinks, she proposes to Leslie a solution to the
problem.
They go home together that evening, and clip the TV cable. They
surprise John and themselves with the best sex he's ever had. The
sex scene had lots of nice strong description, such as "overflowing
with juices" and heat that was "almost overpowering" -- three guesses
what was described.
John cancels his cable subscription and they live happily ever
after.
I saw hardly any flaws in this story. Anything I'd pick out, such as
the occasional line beginning with a space, would be nitpicking. Also,
I strongly approve of the idea of getting rid of your TV. ;-)
-- Daphne
Celestial Reviews 325 – April 25, 1999
"Dreaming into Reality" by Lambchop
The guy has been having one of those recurring dreams about a beautiful woman.
He goes to a party, and the woman is there. She takes him home with her, and
they make tender love.
This is not a bad story, but it lacks real zip, for a lack of a better term. My
three lines summarize the story completely. The lovemaking is really nice and
all that, but it's all too simple – he dreams the first part of it, and they do
the rest of it. There us no explanation for the coincidences or any tension
about mysterious forces at work.
If you want a really good dream/sex story, try one of these: "Lucid Dreamer" or
"Dreamwalk" by Delta, "Am I Only Dreaming?" by Paddy Toute, "Transitions" by
Ramapo. or "Study Break" by D.A. Ignatius. I'll repost these reviews at the end
of this issue.
Ratings for "Dreaming into Reality"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
A Review By Daphne Xu
Dreaming Into Reality
By Lambchop
A Review
First, I must apologize to Lambchop. I downloaded this story over a
month ago, and I promised to review it. Then, for some reason or
other, it completely slipped my mind until this week. I don't know
why, but it did. Sigh...
A dream has been plaguing Ed for the past month. The dream is
completely detailed, and Ed always remembers the details after waking
up -- he always meets a twenty-two-year-old woman (ten years younger
than himself) and her four-year-old daughter, Ann. They make
small-talk, and get comfortable, but when they're about to kiss, their
daughter Ann interrupts with the alarm of Ed's alarm clock.
He always wakes up just before the kiss, and never actually makes it
to the kiss.
One evening, his company is celebrating its twenty-fifth anniversary.
At the party, Ed spots the girl across the room. She comes over and
joins him. This time's her daughter's not with her.
Of course, they go to her apartment and her mother has conveniently
taken Ann to her (mother's) home. So they have the apartment to
themselves for the night, and do what everyone does in ASS stories --
at least the vanilla activities.
As the end approached, I was expecting some explanation or at least
some significance to the dreaming prediction. For example, some kind
of mind-control, or warning from beyond, or something about the dream
connecting them. However, there was nothing.
I listened to a collection of Disney songs while writing this review.
One of the songs, precisely on point with this story, was from
"Sleeping Beauty":
> I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream.
> I know you, the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam.
There were a few technical problems missed by his proofreader. In the
middle of the dream, the voice changed from past tense to present
tense; it changed back a couple of paragraphs after Ed woke up. Also,
once the story entered the sex scene, Tina's viewpoint intruded
several times into the story.
And to nitpick, at least one line began with a >-character. ;-)
This was a very good story, despite my criticism. For some reason, I
tend to focus on the negatives more than the positives. The story
flowed well, with neither too many nor too few details.
Unlike Ed in the story, I only vaguely recall my dreams after waking
up. I think that I'm always fogged out during my dreams. Like Ed, I
can never reach the goal in my dreams. Unlike Ed, instead of waking
up just before the goal is reached, my mind always stalls me.
Sometimes seems like I'm plowing through mud when I try to do
something crucial.
I'm curious. Was IBE named after IBM (the way HAL in 2001 may have
been)?